#anyway I'm entertaining myself lol

[splickedylit]

Just reread domestic diplomacy, so hype for the 3rd part. Was curious whether you planned on ever including other pale couples? I would love to see the meowrails or vrisrezi in this au where pale romance is actually. Romance. Lol. Anyway keep being cool (and share another snippet of the wip if you want pls 👀)

Aw, hooray! :D Tbh I don't really,,, plan these fics lol. This series especially I very much make up as I go, so I can't discount the possible future in which meowrails make an appearance, but I also have learned to make no promises about what's going to happen in uhhh any fic ever lol. But I can certainly share a snippet, since I'm getting writing done today!

--

Trolls don’t drink wine, it turns out—trolls don’t drink alcohol at all.  When Gamzee sniffs at your cup thoughtfully, he’s already recoiling before Karkat makes an urgent, warning noise and yanks at his arm.

“&lt;NO,>” Karkat says, and Gamzee rolls his lips back from a really startling amount of fangs and makes a low, throaty rising and falling noise that sounds disgusted even to your human ears.  “<Have a cup of (noun, gesturing at whatever’s in the wine bottles with troll labels on them) or something!>”

“<Shit smells like (some kind of descriptor with ‘window’ in it, for some reason),>” Gamzee says, and reaches over to snatch up one of the bottles Karkat pointed him toward, popping the top off with a careless twist of his wrist and taking a much more appreciative sniff.  “<Fuck yeah, that thing right there, makes good for motherfucker to have a good (fatal) time.>”

“<You’ll do good (warning shot) at worst,>”  Karkat says sternly.  “<And not with human home-cleaning liquid drinks. You would die.  Die fast—and boring, not funny, not fun, got it?  Humans drink home-cleaning liquid to get (troll-descriptor).>”

Gamzee chortles.  “<I bet the fuck they do get!>” he says, apparently delighted.  “<And then get (the fatal form of “funny” but flipped around to be a descriptor? A new construction, excellent)  funny-dead real quick for because of they’re nasty.>”

“What are you guys drinking, then?” you say, and reach over cautiously to the bottle Gamzee’s holding; he growls a little, possessively, apparently just as a warning that it’s his now, and then gives it up and watches you hold it up and take your own big sniff.  It doesn’t…smell toxic.  Sweet, mostly, in a weird, thick, smothery kind of way that makes your nose burn a little.

“It is human safe,” says Kanaya, before you can ask.  “I believe you don’t feel…tss.  Intoxated, by it.  But it is still very strong for you, differently.”

That’s all you need to hear.  You pick up one of the glasses and pour some out for yourself—it’s just a little thicker than water, a pure, light gold color, and when you take a sip it’s like getting punched in the sinuses by a sugar cube the size of a building.

“Oh, fuck,” you say, and swallow with an effort.  Your eyes are watering; your mouth feels aggressively candy-coated.  “Whoof.  Wow!”

Rose is laughing at you, just a little—not out loud, but you can tell by the way her eyes are creased and her lips are quirked up at the corners.  “Yes,” she says.  “Nectar requires some getting used to.  Trolls cannot metabolize alcohol but they are…quite sensitive to sucral compounds.”

“Give it,” Gamzee says, and gestures insistently to have his bottle back, then reaches past the nice wine glasses to pick up a distinctly human red solo cup and dumps a hearty half-cupful of nectar into it, then pulls a bottle of something that looks exactly like faygo with alien writing on the label and dumps a hearty measure of that in on top of it.

“<You can have one of those,>” Karkat says, looking appalled.  “<You (something)-less piece of shit.  One, got it?  What the fuck is wrong with you.  And you’re not kissing me until you clean your teeth.  I’ll get (troll descriptor) off your fucking breath.>”

Gamzee grins hugely and runs his tongue over all his fangs in Karkat’s direction, then tosses back a big mouthful of his mixed drink and gives a happy shivering rumble, fins fluttering and claws kneading delicately at his cup.

“You want?” he says in English, and holds it out at you, grinning exactly like he did earlier when he snuck a horn under your butt—like this is the kind of joke that has a winner and a loser, and he’s pretty sure he’s already won.

“Jade,” says Dave.  “He’s bein’ a dick.  You know you don’t have to take shit from this guy, right?”

“I know!” you say, and reach out to take the cup from Gamzee’s hand, holding eye contact in a way you’re pretty sure is kind of socially unacceptable.  Karkat starts “Jade—” and then you take a deep breath and throw the cup back.

#Homestuck #Splickedydrabbles #Gamzee Makara #Jade Harley #Karkat Vantas #miracrails #anyway I'm entertaining myself lol #Humans drinking troll 'alcohol' HOLY SHIT IS THIS PURE SYRUP THAT SOMEHOW WANTS TO KILL ME #trolls drinking human alcohol: *noises of rapid organ failure*

[spokelseskladden]

no but actually, when I was like 16 I decided to get in deep with the cult, like fanatically deep. Donating my entire allowance and dedicating myself to biweekly bible study deep. Mainly because I had deluded myself into thinking that if only I could become a perfect jehovah’s witness, god would heal my crippling gender dysphoria by either taking pity on me and simply give me a dick and testosterone for the low price of my freedom and dignity, or alternatively taking it away all together and let me live my life blissfully as a cis woman for all eternity in paradise. The latter never sounded appealing to me, and I’m not going to pretend that the blatant sexism within the cult wasn’t a part of it at all, but even if you removed it, I still didn’t particularly care for having tits. I did realize that the former alternative probably wasn’t likely to happen in the end, and that’s probably one of the big reasons I never could admit to actually just being a guy, even though it was kinda obvious. Cause when you know you can’t ever have something, it’s easier to pretend you never wanted it in the first place, lol

#ex jw #isn't it funny that I even entertained the idea of fucking JEHOVAH giving me top surgery or some shit? #dude are you daft? the babykiller who hates the gays? You really think THAT GUY would support trans rights? #also. my OG mutuals probably remembers me sort of coming out as nonbinary back then‚ and i want you to know that I was not #practically everything I ever said about my gender back then wasn't real and I KNEW it wasn't real. I was just scared as fuck lol #cause I couldn't open that can of worms and then close it again. and like yeah. experimenting with gender can be great and important #but I wasn't experimenting‚ I knew it wasn't completely right from the moment I said it and idk. I want that out in the open I guess lol #funny thing is I kinda did that thing AGAIN not that far back when I was like oh yeah any pronouns goes :) oh no it's they/them achtually #oh now im he/they and oh I just want to define anything and blah blah blah #and I was sitting there and I just asked myself what the hell I was doing cause you're a grown ass man and you KNOW you're spewing bullshit #like i thought i would keep things ambigous but in hindsight. the url i had and having my other name in my bio was kinda stupid #in my defence i didn't think about my url and i still don't really mind my legal name so lol #but i realized i was just pussyfooting around everything and i'm tired of it so yeah! #anyway. look at me revealing my fucking lore here. i've gotten way off track and idk what i was trying to get to #if you read this far you get like. knowledge about me you probably didn't want #you're welcome i guess? idk lol #insert drive through meme or something

[coquelicoq]

can't tell if my neighbor and i are flirting right now. if we are, we're doing a pretty bad job of it. part of that is probably that i keep reading over what i'm writing and going oh no, that sounds flirty! delete.

#can't decide if i want us to be flirting or not. like obviously i don't want us to be or i wouldn't keep deleting the flirty texts #but if i don't want to be flirting then why do i keep having the thought 'we are doing badly at flirting'? we're not flirting!!!! #we did have such a nice hang today though. and i didn't even get home and immediately start kicking myself for being awkward #as i usually do after hanging out with acquaintances lol #and we had so much to talk about! and i got to see the cat!!! #if you're keeping track YES this is the same neighbor who moved in like 5 years ago and invited me over for tea and i was like #😒 why. so you can make me trust you and then steal my identity? #anyway i've worked past that kneejerk suspicion. it only took five years. #this is also the neighbor who made me jam one time. maybe eventually if i'm nice i'll get another invitation to tea #and this time i would actually go probably! #ugh i have such a bummer dehydration headache so i can't do anything just sit here in my 90-degree apartment and sweat #which is very boring! and uncomfortable!! #hence this silly little post lol. i need entertainment #voisin de palier

[simple-molly]

POV she parachuted down and landed on you and now you have a concussion

an adaptation of Mushroom Umbrella

once again much cheating and tracing but I got it done! that's what's important to me and I am happy. look at my wonky girl!!

#love nikki #love nikki dress up queen #my bad art phase #<- feel free to block this tag! #I left out so many of this outfit's pieces but I've convinced myself I like it better this way. #I'm certain now that I'm faceblind. spent so much time fussing with the eyes and they still look odd and I genuinely cannot comprehend #what to do with them #anyway I'm not going as fast but I'm still dedicated to my horrible little anime ladies #dedicated enough that I look a pic of myself in my underwear to get this pose right... insanity! #previously I'd been using a poseable figurine but her hips and shoulders can't be anything but square... didn't work for what I wanted #hey also FUCK drawing hair!!!! I hate it!!! I completely gave up and fully traced it lol #but I am doing these drawings for self entertainment and not for Serious Arts so I'm fine with being a dirty dirty tracer #I'm learning things and having fun :)

[unproduciblesmackdown]

speaking of your coming of age movie that never happens & your narrative non-narratives, shoutout to the arcs that’d be supposedly “worse” lmfao like posts about people-pleasers being like “i’m in my villain era” when it’s just consciously prioritizing themselves at all / noting when boundaries for their own wellbeing are being trampled, and the like. wherein i’m like, well i like talking to people i suppose, i can do the hours of monologue at a wall for one mode, got chatterbox mode, funny guy theatrical mode, etc, but in actuality also, i do not like talking to people lmao. the “yeah, that’s me” movie ending with another voiceover while upbeat music plays & you’re cheerfully walking along in 0.75x speed through some picturesque arena filled with socializing people like =) putting on headphones, turning up the volume, ignoring everyone, dodging people according to the berth one wants to maintain,

#i mean in person i like to be somewhere Parallel to other ppl; but there By Myself technically lol #i also am down for / enjoy spontaneous fleeting interactions w/randos but ofc only the actually good ones; which can sure be rare #and naturally Online interactions have a lot more flexibility than [not having that option] but even then. #like on just one point: being in a ''fandom'' like no thanks at all ever lol even when it comes to relatively niche things #j'etadore quantent being Just Me Posting To Myself. i absolutely do not want to talk to anybody about winston billions. #posts are scrolls i've nailed to a door to be perused if someone wants. take it or leave it; i've given it & left #meanwhile Not In Person chats aren't even enough lol like; need more Delay than a live chat; also too much to say just like irl anyways #gotta be down for short essays at w/e weird pacing & inadvertent caginess abt what ig other ppl would find matter of factly easy to share #i.e. like What Are You Doing? type ye olde facebook status prompt material. well that's a secret / weird / not entertaining enough isn't it #not like i think oh scoff i Should be popular likable & beloved lmfao like no ofc i Know i'm not gonna come off like that. l'autistique. #to be thusly is to be generally considered unlikable / disliked. i probably don't like interacting w/an nt rando too much either. #& w/the power of [adhd] it's like yeah sure i can be the chatty Fun But Annoying person lmfao But. rather than really being begrudgingly #tolerated until ppl are just more used to you / forgive the annoyances it's like no it's just the Annoying part lol beyond that it's like #well you're also somehow still too weird & quiet so worst of both worlds right. And ofc i have Other Traits aren't just for everyone. #some classic easy to embrace shit like bit of a hothead; argumentative; opinionated; stubborn; spontaneous; a hater; cagey....lmao #much of that For Fun but the [autistic Friendly] social cues don't get read that way. plus i Can be unfriendly too ofc lmao. get outta here #like a friend group seems charming & adorably heartwarming in theory until it's like oh god but drawing on all relevant experiences?? No #the third or fourth or nth wheel falling behind on the narrow sidewalk / talked over / finding a chair on the end & ppl dont notice ur here #lowering expectations even for exchanges that Do happen. ppl can enjoy the novelty of a lengthy exchange for like; a day #on the other side of that if what's initiated is like; Brief General messages i'm like oh god lmfao now Eye can't keep up w/this style #beyond that spontaneous shit is like oh god masking. oh god double empathy misinterpretations & being treated horribly b/c of it. #Recognizing & Respecting my actual experiences rather than hypothetical ideals like no i'm Not failing by Not putting myself in more damn #situations lmfao....if i stumble into good ones then great lol. sure have done that & i don't discount the Value therein at all #just sure like [points to the wisdom of e.g. autistic ppl talking abt having to be lonely but at the gain of looking out for / appreciating #themself] like Being ''Unlikable'' or having friends(tm) but not Really / the treatment is shit / you're having to mask a ton anyways... #sure can recall experiences like idk. ppl ''being nice'' & whether on purpose or not it's like actually I'm In Hell I'm In Hell lmfao #and then even if it's not on purpose it's like ah i can't actually talk to them abt it & that's not a great endorsement for the dynamic huh #or just noting like i'm duly accepted to be on the sidelines but what am i doing wrong lmao sweating How To Earn proper Normal participation #lot of anxiety & blaming oneself & it turns out like nah can't excise the Fault of autistic / adhd / cpstdness & you're fine actually #that was ye olde times more so but it's gradual & still fairly recent being like Oh Right. more accurate ideas re: Talking To Ppl At All....

[mroddmod]

hi sorry for the spam i missed tumblr

#forgot how many talented artists and entertaining people there are on this app #also hyperfix coming back full force fr!!!! #i mean it never went away. just got quiet for a little while bc of outside stress #BUT! i'm gonna finally start drawing for myself again bc i don't have anymore commissions 💪💪 #so get ready #anyway. #sorry for the spam #slow day at work today #lol #mods talks shit

[politicallyinvolvedpandabear]

Wow, I really love radfems so much. Anyone who, like, gets it. Understands. 

I like consuming entertainment/media a lot, and I especially do it now that I have more free time and want something to enjoy during these trying times, but it just occurred to me why even though I usually like what I watch, it’s been doing nothing for me for the most part. 

It’s the men. It’s because it’s made by men. Not only is the fandom super male-dominated and therefore male (looking up an underage female character and getting unwanted porn of her lmao), I’m so used to the disappointment and whatnot that I forgot what the cause and reason was. 

Basically, when I surround myself with women or see female takes, I feel much happier and connected to others/positive/cheerful. But when I watch something made by a man and can feel it through the sexualization and uncomfortable everything and all of that, then I totally clock out and am disconnected from humanity/others like, “Ok, disappointment. No thanks. No more.” 

I like to check tumblr quite often and sometimes I know outright that it’s because I want to see radfem blogs and regain my sanity, but yeah.... It’s really true that who you surround yourself with can influence you and your mood. Coming to this realization was nice. “It doesn’t have to be this way” <-- me and my lack of expectations for media/others

No one’s perfect, but I certainly feel a lot more love towards radfem/”TERF” blogs than I do anyone else I know (since they’re either male or are sipping the libfem Koolaid and probably wouldn’t get it). 

I hope all of y’all keep it up, being so cool and all. I’ll definitely fight for us! ✊ You’re all great. c: 

#my own rambles #i purposely don't specify or name a lot of things in detail because i dont want to be found out lol #right now my dash is divided between the radfems and the libfems i used to follow and #the difference in posts is so stark lmao #i dont unfollow because i dont mind seeing both sides #but since becoming acquainted with radfems... the libfem side is SO unintelligent hahahaha #anyway i'm surrounded by men in my fandoms but i dont HAVE to interact with them #or take the entertainment that seriously too #this is coming from someone who likes art a lot #this is quite a freeing thought... #i'll spend my time reading that article i had open from that one radfem post #i shouldnt waste my time on/with men #even by proxy through their shit art... trying to find what i want/makes me excited #yeah this is quite the revelation. i hate men after all so why am i even giving them a chance? #i wanna fix my thoughts regarding this and be more conscious about them. i definitely wanna be around women more #talking to myself haha. ok! i like this post. #i'm really so grateful and glad i found radfems #they are the coolest people i know. like... usually i feel nothing towards people. no expectation. only disappointment #but radfem posts can actually make me smile. and FEEL things. actual connection/love to other humans wow! #not just my own morals guiding me on.... me actually genuinely liking people and being curious about them #not wanting to disappoint some of my fave radfems lmao #i'm writing posts at like 2 AM again but i'll try to take these lessons into tomorrow/the future ^^ #tbh though i actually feel unused to sharing my thoughts since regular people are SO hostile and i dont want them in my notifs #radfems are human too so i dont really expect a warm welcome from them or anything #but i'd be happy to throw my thoughts into the void without the worry of someone bothering me over it... like picking a fight/being rude #this is the internet though so i'll brace myself as always i guess xD #i wanna make a post talking about my other feelings/the other aspect of my identity but idk when i'll do it #i know people have mixed opinions but i'm not doing it for THEM necessarily. i'd just like to share for fun

[birdpal]

having an obsessive personality and hyperfixating on public figures + subsequently constructing your sense of self with those figures as a foundational presupposition is wild and hilarious because there's always a chance the actual human behind one of those figures will fuck up unforgivably and then the rug gets pulled out from under you so hard that you experience ego death

#squiggalicious #i would have two nickels! #anyway i'm learning now to be healthier with my interests and it's making me hella introspective about my past #i built so much of myself off of what i loved because i didn't (and don't) have a strong internal sense of self #'idk who the fuck i am but heres what makes me feel good' type beat #but i put all my eggs in one basket because obsessive personality + adhd hyperfixation = infinite entertainment machine #that's not good though because sometimes people disappoint you and you lose the entertainment machine and there's just. nothing #nothing else. nothing left. ego death #it's just you again and you aren't anything at all under the mask and existing without being anything is awful and scary and painful #but i didn't learn my lesson the first time so i did it again lol #so now i have to dIvErSiFy My InTeReStS so i don't have a severe depressive episode if one of my foundational figures decides to be a shit

[bunnie-bits]

omg I'm glad I'm awake, I had a dream i got back with my ex but forgot to tell her I'm polyamorous now and she found out bc i was holding her hand but also caressing this other girl who was in bed with us - and I asked if we could talk in the other room but in the other room we kept getting interrupted by random groups of people and whew!! it was stressful having to Explain Myself™ but also kinda nice to get some rly deep feelings out about why I'd be afraid of being monogamous again Especially with her 😬

happy to be back in the real world though. the first thing out of my mouth was "[friend from when i was younger's name]???" like girl what r u doing in my dream lol i have not spoken to or thought of her in Years.

#anyways.... idk I'm mainly just ranting about my dream it was kinda messy but sweet aside from that lol #and it was nice waking up and remembering i was talking with someone who's interested in me 😌 #i want 2-3 partners! at Least (⁠っ⁠˘⁠з⁠(⁠˘⁠⌣⁠˘⁠ ⁠) i want to love and be loved #mmm and ig addressing those deeper feelings i was letting out: #i never want to put all my eggs in one basket again. I've only been in two long term relationships but like #planning so much of your future around someone and losing important parts of yourself to try keeping them happy and entertained #and then having all those plans go up in flames and having to find yourself again by yourself bc y'all broke up. #it's like having the rug pulled out from under u but worst (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠) thankfully i have been able to support myself and I'm doing #WAY better than i was the first couple months and I'm rly happy n proud of that. i think the future will be rly lovely. #and idk how I'll invest in my partners and build a future w them in a way that makes me feel safe and loved but also I'm sure #it'll happen naturally and we'll figure it out as we go :3 #omg is she (me) being vulnerable and open on her side blog 😳

[planete777]

LEAF TAPES 2・⁠｡♪ LN4

( lando norris x fem!reader ft. oscar piastri )

read part 1!

IN WHICH. after months of radio silence, y/n and lando go trending for the same thing again... but this time, it's not only them.

WARNINGS. 18+, MINORS DNI!, non consensual explicit video leaked, sexual descriptions, twitter environement, mentions of getting high (as per), very self indulgent so just sit back and enjoy

NOTE. it's finally here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i've answered your requests, i hope you guys like it. my back aches from doing this so im gonna knock myself out lol. anyways, last fic for a few weeks, but i'll still be online/idle so u can still drop by my inbox if u want. okay ill let u go now bye and enjoy!!!!!

‧₊˚✩彡 taglist @laciijane @ferrarrigirl @norrizzandpia @mimi-luvzyu @multifandomwhore-003 (use askbox if you'd like to be added!)

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yn_ln

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 789,331 others

yn_ln life lately <3

>comments<

landonorris literally obsessed with you

landonorris love the last picture who's that on the left -> yn_ln what happened to being obsessed with me :((( -> landonorris sorry 😅 i mean the left. -> user 😭

user oscar cameo!!!!! OSCAR!!! CAMEO!!!

user i want both of them!!11!!1!1! i can take both of you!!!! -> user so real

user couple goals.... brb just setting up the toaster and the bath

oscarpiastri picture 2.... minutes before disaster -> landonorris disaster??? i found it pretty entertaining -> yn_ln i'm still recovering 🤭 -> user CARE TO SHARE??? I WANNA KNOW!!! -> user yn girlie............ let's gossip -> yn_ln no can do luv xx 😌

oscarpiastri anyways i look so good -> yn_ln humble yourself babe x -> landonorris what she said ^ -> user don't listen to them oscar, you do love good ❤ -> oscarpiastri trust me, i know 😏

lily_mhe loved going out with u bby <3 -> yn_ln yes!! we should do it again.... without the boys 😒 -> alexalbon uhm wow -> landonorris i need to get used to sharing the loml </3 -> oscarpiastri lol -> yn_ln 🤭

user she's so pretty "$%$£"£$(!"£$

user why are they being so cryptic 😩 -> user they wanna kill me

user 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 -> user i've got so many questions

user lily and y/n are for the girlies xx sorry i do not make the rules -> yn_ln speak it!!! -> lily_mhe yup!!

maxfewtrell no pic creds?? -> yn_ln i can give donations? -> user LMAOAOAO -> user max being bullied pt 2838474

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landonorris

liked by yn_ln, oscarpiastri and 1,302,811 others

landonorris ♾

<comments>

yn_ln look at us trending for the second time in 2 months 😝 -> landonorris ikr such icons -> oscarpiastri quite fun tbh -> user 😭 -> user u lot realllyyyyy dgaf and i love that for you

oscarpiastri i give the best cuddles ik -> landonorris u also give the best 🧠 -> yn_ln AND WHAT ABT ME? -> landonorris oh yeah... ig -> user what the fuck is going on??? 😭 -> user in broad daylist insta comments

user im surprised he didn't post a lil snippet on ig like yn did last time -> user literally 💀 -> user he wants us to have the full experience on twt fr

carlossainz55 im begging u, plz no more -> alexalbon 🙏 -> charlesleclerc 🙏 -> georgerussell 🙏 -> pierregasly 🙏 -> yukitsunoda 🙏 -> danielricciardo 🙏 -> lewishamilton 🙏 -> user they are going THROUGH IT!! -> landonorris we'll think abt it

user surprised, but not disappointed

yn_ln no more 🐱 for u! -> landonorris NO. U CAN'T DO THIS TO ME. -> user he survives purely off of the kitty cat. i support the hustle -> oscarpiastri spare the man 🙏 -> yn_ln nah he can just watch -> oscarpiastri fine by me

user foursome?? -> user join the line

#‧₊˚✩彡 planete.thinks: high!lando #lando norris insta au #oscar piastri instagram au #lando norris x reader #lando norris #oscar piastri #lando norris fic #lando norris smut #oscar piastri smut #landoscar #landoscar x reader #formula one x reader #oscar piastri x reader #f1 fic #f1 imagine #formula 1 #lando norris x y/n #formula one x y/n #formula one x you #f1 instagram au

[meandmyechoes]

haha what if after a marvel designer collection they make a star wars designer collection

#oh boy... #well that gives me a year to build a good profolio and try to get myself hired #/jk #every time i see a new designer collection princess release i'm like. puzzled face. #the aestethic is... explosive? #i'm worried not like i think they'd screw up but what if i want them all but can't afford it lol #it'd be a fun idea. just make sure they don't focus only on the burnette white women #i think they're slightly overpriced because they have less playability than a h*t toys #like. some people don't even take them out of the box #i can take upto $100 but $130 is a bit much for a display piece #might as well spend that on three playline i'd actually play with #take slave soka as an example to save brain work #what are you actually paying for? #she bare has any makeup and it's machine printed anyway so certain not the face #(doubt they'd make the lekku bendable) #so the clothes. and the next thing i'd say is: it doesn't even have embroidery! (pretentious #so if the doll doesnt' have proper metal work (not just plated plastic) and some pretty gems #i entertain the idea of a adult/older ahsoka figure but come on how's that gonna sell outside the hardcore fans #sw #myechoes

[aestrayla]

driving you crazy ft. mammon

summary: you make a bet with a certain white-haired demon to see who can last the longest without touching the other. let's see how long you can last. ft. mammon x f!reader

cw: 18+ SMUT and sexual themes. minors and ageless blogs DO NOT interact.

word count: 1.8k

a/n: this was my first time writing smut LOL. i had to stop myself from cringing while writing this but my fingers just kept typing away.. anyways enjoy!

You had made a bet with Mammon to see who could last the longest without any physical touch, and of course, he agreed to it. Making bets was his playing field after all and after mentioning the little reward you'd offer if he won... he was not going to lose. This was mere child's play for him.

Now of course you had to play dirty to win. The odds that he would win were more or less in his favour. Here and there you would try and tease him, wearing short little skirts and staring at him with your pretty eyes. He knew when you made that stupid little sultry look with your eyes it could struck any guy dumb. He knew this, because he experienced it firsthand and still remembers the day you laughed at him after leaving him dumbfound.

Your teasing was extremely fun on his part though. Mammon could honestly fuck you whenever he pleased but being able to watch you play this silly little game and planning your next "big move" was far too entertaining for him. It was like watching a child learn to walk, seeing how pouty you'd get after the game dragged from hours into days.

The lack of physical touch was burning your insides. How was he able to handle this so well? It was surprising how good his restraint was when he, at the same time, has terrible impulses of blowing thousands of grimm within seconds.

As the days dragged on, it got quite obvious to the others that you two were up to something ridiculous once again and Lucifer was starting to get quite fed up of the back and forth teasing you two would do. "Guys just- get a room... Please," he would say.

You were both shooed away by everyone, making it into Mammon's room. "Can't you just let me win already?" you pleaded, as you plopped onto his bed, lying onto your stomach. Mammon watched as his gaze followed your figure, until he couldn't take his eyes off of something.

As you landed on the bed, your night gown slightly lifted at your waist, revealing a pretty lingerie set you had on underneath. Thoughts were swirling around his head. He had only seen you in lingerie once, on his birthday. This was no special occasion but you definitely had his heart racing and his mind pacing.

"Did you hear me?"

"I-I... U-um... Yeah I uh..." he stuttered. You got off of your stomach to rest your back on the headboard. He clears his throat. "Let ya win?" He makes his way to the edge of the bed and takes a seat. "I didn't play this lil' game of yours just to let ya win, princess."

To be honest you were needy, really needy at this point. You've been craving him the entire week but you just had to play it cool and you were starting to get really frustrated. You pouted at his words.

"Hm? What's that look on ya face?" he questioned.

Although you were desperate, you still didn't want to lose to the likes of him. Your brows furrowed as you pleaded him with your eyes, your glossy lips pouting.

"Ah, now ya makin' me feel bad! How could I say no to your pretty little face?" He leaned back into the bed, his arms holding him up. "Well, if ya want me so bad, then go ahead princess. I'm all yours."

He had the stupidest smile plastered to his face. You frowned. It was obvious he wasn't gonna let you win. When he wanted something, he got it- no matter the cost.

"Just admit ya lost and I'll give ya whatcha want."

Easier said than done. You were a petty little brat but you were craving him so bad, you needed him right now and all this chatter was getting you all hot and bothered. "Mammon..." you whined, "Please..."

He sighed. "A bets a bet. If I'm not gonna lose, and you're not gonna lose... then I guess we're waitin' another week," he shrugged as he got up from the bed. You tugged at his shirt before he could fully stand. "Hm?" He paused as he turned to face you. As you stared down in defeat, you could feel him staring back at you with the biggest smirk. "Is this your way of sayin' ya lost to me?"

"W-whatever... just- just tell me what you want," you mutter.

The reward you offered for winning, was that the winner could do whatever they wanted with the loser, pretty simple.

"Get ridda the dress, I wanna see how pretty ya dressed for me."

He takes your place, resting his back against the headboard while you remove the silk gown. He admires you for a moment, the intricate lace hugging the curves and folds of your body beautifully. He's always amazed at how he managed to score you. Of all demons, you chose him and he could never be happier.

He motioned for you to sit on his lap and you do so. Settled over him, you can feel a hard bulge beneath you. You look up at him and meet with his deep blue eyes. "Well, whaddya waitin' for, princess? Ride me." You both frantically toss your under garments away into oblivion.

Once again, you're settled above him. You gulp as you stare down at his growing member, already flowing with pre-cum. You use your hand to guide him to your entrance while your other hand rests on his chest for support. He never fails to surprise you with his size and there was no way you could ever get used to it.

You slowly lower yourself down, feeling your walls stretch around him. You groaned. You weren't even halfway down and you were already having difficulty taking him in. He watched you carefully as you attempted to lower yourself, his dick twitching from the lack of friction. "Fuck, y/n... ya actin' like ya ain't take my dick before," he grumbles.

"I'm sorry you're just... so damn big..." you muttered. He brought his hands to your hips to help guide you down and once you made it all the way down you took a moment to adjust. You slowly started to raise your hips to bounce on him, pressing your hands against his bare chest to hold yourself up. He watched as you rode him, scrunched brows, half-lidded eyes, mouth agape. You were so damn pretty.

You started to pick up the pace, earning a few groans and grunts from him. His hands found their way to your hips, slamming you down while he bucked his hips up into you. Your gasps and moans were music to his ears. "Mammon... Mammon I..." You were starting to come undone and felt a tightening knot in your stomach. You were going to reach your high soon. "Fuck... fuck y/n..." he groaned, "You're so... you're so damn slow!"

You sharply gasped when he grabbed you by your wrists and threw you onto your back. He was now hovering over you. The look he had in his eyes looked as if he was going to devour you, whole. He started to slam his hips into you mercilessly as if some kind of monster had taken control. Your moans grew louder and much more whiney as he rammed into you, over and over again.

"Do ya know how fuckin' crazy ya drove me this entire week?" he breathed. You could feel him smile beside your ear. "I woulda fucked the shit outta ya first day if I didn't hafta put up with ya lil' game."

The only response that left your mouth were your stupid little whimpers and moans of his name.

"You're gonna make up for all the time ya wasted." His pace only got faster, his tip hitting that same sensitive spot again and again. You wanted to tug and pull at his soft white hair, but your wrists were in restraint by his large hands. "Mammon... I can't..." you whimpered.

"Can't what?" he smirked.

"I... I can't take it... ‘s too much..." Your words only made him go faster and it was pulling your insides into knots and twists. "Well I'm sorry princess, but the winner gets to do whatever to the loser, right?" he grinned.

He was abnormally faster than usual today, but it was because of how much he was dying to fuck you. Just because he could restrain himself, did not mean that he didn't wanna fuck you dumb. If anything, the game made him even more hungry for you.

Your fucked-out face had him smiling stupidly as he rammed into you. "Mammon I'm... I'm gonna..." you mumbled.

"Hm? Whaddya gonna do?"

"I'm gonna cum!" you whined.

"Already? But we've only just started princess," he teased, as he placed a sloppy kiss onto your lips. You were seriously about to finish, especially at the pace he was going at.

"Please... let me cum. I can't take it anymore!" you begged.

You looked so good right now. Brows furrowed while your eyes were rolled back, tongue slightly out. "Fuck you're so pretty... do ya hafta finish right now?" he groaned.

You were a moaning mess and it was a struggle to even speak right now. He removed his hands from your wrists and found purchase of your hips. His thrusts were starting to get sloppy and he was also close to finishing.

"Fine," he huffed, "You can cum."

As if on command, you came undone almost instantly while grabbing ahold of his soft hair. The tightening of your walls around him pushed him over the edge and he released into you. "Fuck..." he groaned as he filled up your insides with his hot seed. He continued to thrust into you, not allowing a drop to be wasted.

He started to slow down his pace, and he finally pulled out of you. You smiled as he looked down at you, you were completely worn out. He leaned down to place a soft, but sweet kiss to your lips.

"You happy now baby?" you asked, while wrapping your arms around his neck.

"Mhm, really happy," he smiled.

You lean in for a second kiss and as he pulls away, you notice his smile turn into a devilish smirk. You frown, confused at what his face is for.

"Mkay now turn around, we goin' for round two baby!"

©2023 aestrayla. do not modify, copy, translate or share.

#mammon x reader #mammon x mc #mammon smut #mammon x you #the great mammon #obey me #obey me mammon #mammon obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me hcs #obey me imagines #obey me smut #obey me fanfic #obey me x reader #obey me x mc #obey me x you #went too crazy on the tags LOL

[bluecollarmcandtf]

Hey babe! Now that I can jump into people's bodies, Im looking for someone you can play around with tn💙 How do u feel about this handsome guy? I found him at the mall

I feel so strong and dominant walking around in this cop! 👮 if you want I can drive his patrol car to your office and give you a police escort home? Or I could just wait 🙄 Id love using this officer's body to scare some sense into those annoying neighbors of ours...

Wow, babe!

You sure know how to turn my day around! My jerk-of-a-boss is making me stay late again! I'd love to rip the uniform off that cop as soon as I get home, but I might be here awhile.

Hmm...

Maybe this lil army boy will change your mind! I pulled him over while wearing that cop, and I literally drooled when I saw him 😜🫡 I ordered him to step out of the vehicle so I could pat him down, and he had to do it! Anyways, I left the cop somewhere on the highway. What do ya think of this new body? I definitely like wearing him...

Wow, babe, just wow! That is one stud of a soldier. I'd love to thank him for his service, but that doesn't change the fact that I've got to finish these files by Monday. Sorry.

Youre gonna work yourself to death babe! But fine 😭 I'll just have to entertain myself tonight. Wonder what that annoying neighbor of ours is up to...

Omg, babe! I just jumped into our neighbor, and he's at work🤯👷

Check out the massive gut on this man! He's such a pig! That wife of his must be a great cook when shes not nagging us about HOA violations! Should I call her as her hubbie and start some drama lol...

Definitely, do not do that!

He may be annoying, but you don't need to end his marriage, babe.

Fine, but can I at least embarrass him in front of his coworkers? This guy could use a real humility check

Do whatever you want with him, babe. I think he could be brought down a peg. Take your time, too! I've got a few more hours left at the office unfortunately.

Ugh! Lemme see if I can change that...

There 😤

I just found that boss of yours and jumped in his body! Now I order you to come up to his office and air all your frustrations with me...

Woah! I'm running!

While I'm up there we're filing some paperwork to give me a raise and more vacation days!

Oh he'll give you everything you want with a sweet little BJ to show his appreciation 🤑👅 just hurry. Your boss is on his knees waiting...

#gay possession #male body swap #male possession #bodyswapper #bodysuit #gay ai #ai man #body possession #body swap #body theft

[zeewritez]

The Sailor and The Samurai - I

Mizu x Femme Shipmate/Pirate Reader

Hi my lovelies! I haven't updated in so long and I'm sorry but college has been kicking my ass. (Why tf am I studying biochemistry - because I hate myself). Anyways, I hope to update my other stories soon (I've had chapters for months now, they just need to be edited lol). So for now, here's a little BES fic because I'm in love with this show :)

(Notes: Reader's father is Irish in the fic but she will not be described physically except for having super long curly hair because I like projecting my hair goals onto stories, also I will be using he/him pronouns for Mizu since they are currently being perceived as a man.)

Part 2 now out

Y/n woke up with a splitting headache from the rum she had the previous night. She made a note to self to not attempt to out drink her father, even if he was pushing 60. Rolling out of her cot, she slipped on a blouse and trousers she had acquired from a crew mate at some point. They barely fit, but it was far better than the dresses and corsets she wore whenever they docked back home.

She walked onto the deck just in time to watch over the vast ocean as they approached the isolated island of Japan. She'd been there many times in her career but had only ever been to the ports to assist with loading goods when the crew needed it. Today, there was no need. Instead, she watched with mild curiosity from the crow's nest as crates were loaded onto The Banshee.

The cargo seemed standard: silks, swords, exotic fish. The things nobles in England dreweld over. Yet the passengers were anything but standard. Y/n could barely believe her eyes when the infamous Abijah Fowler was brought on board with guards on each side of him. He was brought to the detention cell, which would have otherwise been used when her father was tired of a crewmate's drunken antics.

Y/n was so taken aback by Fowler's presence she nearly missed the passenger behind him: a young man, a few years older than y/n herself, clad in Japanese garb and yellow glasses. It seemed odd to her, as it was rather overcast outside but she didn't give it a second thought. What she was truly curious about was why Abijah Fowler was on their vessel.

As the ship took sail, she climbed down from the nest and made her way to the detention cell with a curious, if not mischievous, grin.

"I never thought you'd be joining us for London," she teased as she stood outside of his cel, as though dangling her freedom like a carrot. She did not like Fowler one bit, but she found him almost as amusing as she found him vile. Entertainment was hard to come by at sea, so who could really blame her?

"Well I for one am always happy to see you," he said, grabbing her hand through the bars and kissing her knuckles. She rolled her eyes as she pulled her hand back from him.

"What brings you back to the isle?" she asked. "My father doesn't even enjoy England, and he's still in good standing, legally speaking."

"Perhaps he's a better Irishman then me," Fowler said with a shrug. "What does it matter to you?"

The girl looked up in faux innocence. "Oh, I'm just curious."

"Well, why don't you hunt down the samurai that's on board and he can let you know why I'm going back to London," Fowler finally told her. "You've picked up quite a bit of Japanese, haven't ya?"

"Alright, I'll see you around then," she said as she turned to leave.

"You have your mother's rear!" He shouted out, as though y/n had forgotten why she had disliked the man so much. She said a silent prayer thanking the heavens he wasn't roaming freely as she roamed the ship looking for the mysterious man with glasses, which was simple enough.

He stood on the poop deck, staring out onto the ocean, as anyone who has ever treaded water has. The waters had a way of commanding one's attention.

"Hello good sir," the young woman greeted she climbed the stairs, stopping to curtsey out of habit. She'd managed to have some resemblance of good manners despite being raised at sea by a captain with a drinking habit.

The young man stared at her, which was a common response from many men upon seeing her for the first time, regardless of national origin. In fact, Englishmen seemed most taken aback by her appearance. Her hair was long and unkempt, falling down her back in ringlets instead of being pinned into an updo of a proper lady. Her shirt nearly fell from her shoulders and around her neck was a long, beaded necklace that seemed to trail down between her breasts. Y/n giggled at the man's reaction, having expected nothing less.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he spoke casting his eyes away from her eyes out of embarrassment, then down to her strange necklace, then back up to her eyes.

"Don't worry about it," she said, leaning against the Banshee's railing. "It is lovely to make your acquaintance, may I ask your name?"

"Mizu," he answered, finally less taken aback by the strange woman. "And you are?*

"Y/n," she said, reaching out her hand limply, again out of habit more than anything else. Mizu looked at her with pure confusion, almost fear. Y/n giggled again, this time to hide her embarrassment. "It is expected to kiss a lady's hand where we're going."

Mizu nodded and cautiously took the girl's hand, which was smaller then her own, and cool to the touch from the ocean winds. He kissed it with the gentleness most men she encountered lacked.

"You'll make a proper gentleman," y/n remarked as she retrieved her hand once again and placed it under her head. She scanned Mizu as had her. Admittedly he was rather dashing. So much so she'd forgotten what she was originally there to ask him. Fowler was the last thing on her mind. "What's with the spectacles?" she asked.

"My eyes are unnatural back home," he told her.

"Is that so?" Y/n asked rhetorically. Perhaps without thought for personal space, she leaned forward and took the yellow frames from the man's face. She was greeted with eyes that would put the sea herself to shame. "You needn't wear these anymore, your eyes are beautiful." The young sailor folded the glasses and handed them back to the blue eyed man.

A small smile graced Mizu's face at the first genuine compliment he'd heard in regard to his eyes. He looked over the beautiful yet foreign face of the woman in front of him. The journey to London was certainly something to look forward to now.

#mizu blue eye samurai #mizu x reader #mizu #blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai x reader #blue eye samurai x you #reader insert #mizu x you #netflix #bes #bes mizu #blue eye samurai fanfic

[weebsinstash]

My Valentino thirst is killing me. I must quench!!!

Combining these two asks so I can babble about both of em at the same time lmao, this is kind of just different ideas all smashed around lol

ALSO CAN I JUST SAY THE ABSOLUTE NERVE OF SHOWING VAL IN THE NEWEST TRAILER BUT NOT HAVING HIM SPEAK 😩 but we can hear Vox so I guess that's something?

- first off, ok, let's just get this out right now: the newest episodes of helluva boss showed that Ozzie can shift his height, THEREFORE THIS MAN IS A SWITCH AND HE'D BE DELIGHTED IF YOU EVER TOPPED HIM SEND POST

Like seriously that's obviously how he can manage to have sex with Fizz despite their extreme height difference, meanwhile, do you guys ever think about the huge height discrepancy between Angel and Valentino in like...., ok. There's literally one specific thing that's been in my head for ages as a "how did that even work or was that just for visual effect". The Addict music video had that shot of Valentino like, you know, behind Angel, but. Like. Angel wouldn't be tall enough to just be bent over even if Val practically bent himself in half, right? Unless I'm remembering Val a lot larger than he actually is, I'm pretty sure angel is over 6ft and Val is like. 10-12 or something?

-Anyways So, saying all that, I think sex with Valentino in general involves him having you set you up onto things like counters or desks or stools or makeup vanities, you get the point. Your standing height is basically like. His waist. And yeah he'd probably be gross about that

-could you EVEN Fucking Imagine I mean it like seriously actually the grossness of it, standing near this nasty motherfucker and you can tell he's bricked up and maybe he's even like deliberately talking to you and shit knowing you're like, you know, in proximity to your boss' absolute rager that you're dying to not look at and he's just, SOAKING in your humiliation and secondhand embarrassment

-I just feel like 99% of interactions with yandere Valentino are him thinking it's cute/funny/sexy/entertaining to fuck with you. Make you embarrassed, make you drunk, make you cry, horny, whatever. He's either fucking with you, wanting TO fuck you, or wanting attention from you. But I've also been thinking about like, what are some more darker things he could do

-partially inspired by myself but do you guys hate people who turn off read receipts and stuff. Imagine the whole "Val gifts you a phone" scenario and then he starts setting the standards of what he actually wants you to do with it, like always having your read receipts on, always answer his texts within a REALLY short amount of time, don't ignore his calls (do you think he'd give you a phone that literally can't ignore his calls like Mammon did to Fizz because like I'm sure that was a throw away gag but, lowkey hot)

Imagine you're just getting to know Val, maybe even a sort of, situationship with him, and he sends you a text, just something super innocuous. I'm talking something like "don't forget you have a shift tonight" or "limos broken down, leaving for the club later than usual", like, something that doesn't outright require some sort of immediate reply, and you hop in the shower and you come back to like a text bomb and 12 missed calls, like obsessive drug addict alcoholic rage escalation from "you there?" "answer bitch" "pick up the goddamn phone" "you better be kidnapped, beaten, or dead right now"

Imagine hopping out of the shower and you had your phone open in the other room and you exit the bathroom in a towel and he's sitting there on your bed and your entire room's been trashed like shits BROKEN and he's, got a cigarette lit and his arms are crossed and he's got your phone in one of his hands , he can clearly see you were in the shower, and instead of apologizing for like going absolutely manic, he just, either, gets gross about how you're wearing a towel and how you got him so worked up and you need to make it up to him, or, he just basically whines that you should've just waited until he was done talking to you to shower

-Val's a yandere who will give you something, break it in a rage to punish you or when he's feeling hurt or betrayed by you, and then replace it with something nicer and more expensive. But then he'll also break things he didn't give you to try and replace everything you own with things he's provided and you'll hate those things, they aren't sentimental to you and maybe not even to your tastes. Oh what's that, you made a new friend? You guys want to Lu Lu Land and he got you a shitty little ring from a carnival game and it's sentimental and important to you? That's cool, don't mind Valentino ruining it or throwing it away the second you take it off and "consoling you" in your grief of "losing it" by getting you a ring from HIM

-genuinely I could see him being one of those guys where if he somehow did manage to pull off enough bullshit to convince you to date him and he's not a total freak, he'd pull some shit like that and then you realize what a huge mistake you've made. he's trying to backpedal and make it up to you but, you've seen his true colors now, and maybe he actually broke something that was really special to you and you really liked him for

-I just don't know how anyone would, realistically, be able to resist Asmodeus in a scenario where he offers you safe harbor from Valentino. A new place to stay rent free? He'd help get you food and clothes and whatever you need? Val would have you so terrorized that, unless you basically had, uh, an unhealthy attachment to him, or insecurity issues, you wouldn't even consider staying with Val over your new "friend". Ozzie is Mr Steal Yo Girl

- i was kinda thinking "how would a yandere Ozzie hypothetically get sex out of you in a scenario where he wants consent" and I feel like he'd just kinda, lovebomb you and maybe manipulate you a little bit and maybe have some blurred ethics on how drunk or high he thinks you're allowed to be while it's still in his definition of consensual. Yeah you said yes to sex with him but you'd taken molly and had some drinks!

Godddd would it be considered gaslighting if, afterwards when you're feeling like embarrassed and regretful, because maybe he's a good friend and you feel it's ruined now, he fakes how remorseful he feels with intentions to, in turn, emotionally manipulate you into thinking he's not as creepy as he actually is. Like, oh gosh, he just seems SO upset over this, can't you let him make it up to you 🥺

- also like. Uh. Having the ol "i liked you as a friend but I was vulnerable and I'm really embarrassed i slept with you even if I liked you so I can't talk to you right now or maybe ever again" reaction with Ozzie would uh. Not work??? It'd be bad??? Like imagine if nothing else you kind of ghost him because you're really embarrassed and insecure and he's like freaking out you were fucking kidnapped or something or WORSE, meanwhile he finds out, like. You're just really embarrassed he saw you naked and couldn't face him and he'd think that's SO CUTE YOU HAVE NO IDEA 🥺❤️

-Ozzie is obviously sex positive and I think you getting flustered and horny and embarrassed would be like his cookies and cream. Even if you have no experience he doesn't mind and he loves to teach you all kinda of things or even just talk about, naughty stuff with you. Imagine he's just like reading a book across the room and suddenly he looks over to you, "hey have you ever had anyone tie you up before? Just curious uwu"

- on the flip side I feel like Valentino needles in at all your insecurities amd with a chubby Readet he'd definitely flip flop between treating you nicely and then mocking you in front of other people. Like, a "good" yandere Val would get incredibly defensive of you as much as he would himself, but one on the meaner end of the spectrum would actively neg you and knock down your self esteem so that it feel really, REALLY good when he finally praises you and flirts with you

-I just picture you offhandedly telling Asmodeus some of the stuff that's happened between you and Val and Ozzies just sitting there, "baby can I be real with you? This guy wants to fuck you so bad he makes himself look stupid" and it's Ozzie's "feedback" that makes you kind of lose your temper with Val one day and, yeah you just deadass repeat some shit like "you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid" and Val is just AGHAST like where did this ATTITUDE come from. And I picture you kinda get into it, like he kinda sputters a bit but is clearly pissed at you and he gives some like, threat that in full context makes you realize he really DOES have some kind of thing to you. Like it's weird that a THREAT could convey that, he just says some shit like "you better stop running your mouth before I take a paddle to that fat ass of yours" but it's also like, if you're taking potshots at his self esteem and getting personal digs, it's really kind of being let off that he just makes threats and doesn't, like, do something right then and there

You just take a shot of the rest of his drink, "yeah you would like to spank me wouldn't you 😘 you're always commenting on my ass all the time, you don't have to be embarrassed if you like to look" and maybe you like sneak some backhanded compliment in there, before being like, covering your tracks, or sarcastically being like, "ok Daddy love you too 🥰" and giving him a peck on the cheek like really being cheeky with it before you fuck off to another part of the club and then later on when you've sobered up and the Oh Shit What The Fuck Did I Do stage kicks in, you eventually have to give him a refill or something and he's like, oddly silent while you're like a shrinking violet, all bravado just GONE, and at the end of your shift he like, actually beckons you closer and you think you're being punished and he just. Smirks and crosses his legs, "don't get too cocky with me, k sweetie?" and just silently threatening you, but, also, shoving a larger than usual tip directly under the waistband of your pants.

I've also thought about that as well? Like Val shoving tips in your clothes, like in your bra or even in your panties/boxers/whatever as like, a double-sided threat/reward/threatening flirting. You mouth off and tease him about him being thirsty for you and later on he's practically got an entire hand in your bra to leave some 5s there and deliberately grazing your nipples the entire time (swear to God if he pinched I thought I'd go aggressive crazy on his ass)

-but Val saying some shit like you're too gross to be a hooker or a porn star and that's why you just wait tables and later on down the line you've ditched him and you're modeling or shooting like female oriented porn down on the Lust Ring. Lmaoooo Valentino trying to neg you and 6 months later he's being cucked and hating himself as he's cranking it to like softcore porn of a maintenance guy being super nice and respectful to you after making some repairs around your house before eating your pussy and then. Straight up leaving. Vals just over here "why am I even-- this isn't even hot" as he beats his shmeat because he wants to see someone "Break My Choker" you and you just, you didn't even suck the guy off he just rocked up with some tongue action and left like You're Living Your Best Life, Angel Dust is over here like "goddamn I wish I could get paid to just have someone go down on me and leave 😭"

-Ozzie's over here having like safe sex meetings before the porn shoots and making sure everyone is in the right headspace and feeling OK and meanwhile up in Pride you've got shit where like, one of Vals pornstars didn't show and when you briefly enter the set to bring him a lemonade he makes a split second decision to have you restrained and have a train ran on you because he'd rather psychologically scar you then come out of this failed filming session empty handed with wasted money

-I just have this visual of, you're not anything "with" Valentino or Ozzie and, maybe they've encouraged you to be more sexually free, but then you actually start being more adventurous and they're like "oh you know what? Thanks i Extremely Hate this Actually". You're sitting on the couch at the club next to one of them and your phone buzzes and you're answering it, getting kind of flirty sorh whomever is on the other line as your cohort gets more and more jealous, and then you're randomly dropping, "so hey not to be horny but what are you doing tonight? I could use me a deep dick pizza with an extra helping of cuddles afterward" and Val/Ozzie is just, SPITTING HIS DRINK

-like you go from sitting in Vals limo or sitting next to him and he's constantly shamelessly watching like nudes or porn or snaps on his phone right next to you and you're forced to endure that, and one day YOUR earbuds aren't connected properly and Val gets blasted with 5 seconds of something like a male or female or whomever, someone who isnt you, "ugh god I love the taste of you 😩❤️" and he's, the attention is ON, eyes on you IMMEDIATELY, just, "what the fuck was that???"

Imagine you're straight up looking up D/P pics on your phone and suddenly you sense a presence and he's like. You've got Valentino's massive form leaning practically from one end of the couch to the other to look at your phone from over your shoulder/above you. The notoriously narcissistic attention seeking loudmouth drunk just, having been silently whisper quiet watching you for who knows how long, you're not sure if he can even read or see what's going on bit he definitely sees the picture

Goddd can you even think of it, he finds out you're fucking around with someone because he snatches your phone out of your hand as like, a tease, because he saw you looking at dick pics and he's all "oooo, giiiiiirl what have you got HERE", but then he starts going through your entire gallery and all your messages and the smile is wiped off his face. Imagine the like. 30 second pipeline of "teasing you, snatching your phone as a joke, going through your phone, immediately chucking your phone directly at the floor"

Ozzie thinks you're fucking GHOSTING HIM and he's getting PANIC ATTACKS over here because, you know, you make his heart do the flippy thing, meanwhile it's like, nah, Valentino has just shifted into Ultra Possessive "Someone Touched My Shit" Mode and you literally aren't allowed to have a phone or so much as be alone anymore amd the next time Asmodeus is seeing you, it's on Sinstagram, being made to hang off Valentino as he had the picture captioned something about, "some of his bitches he just doesn't like to share"

#yandere hazbin hotel #yandere helluva boss #yandere x reader

[mrsparrasblog]

Advice from Price

Sometimes it feels strange, but as a writer, it's like the characters you create live in your mind - rent free, and you sense them judging you every move. "Why are you not writing my happy end, babe?" - Kyle. Let's just overlook my midnight thoughts for now. I promise I'll be fully focused next week- finishing the Makarov fic and my requests, but these days have been quite shitty. I had my first final exam today, tomorrow is the state Championship of my Apprenticeship, and I'm having numerous interviews for an exchange year. Anyway, enough rambling.

At times, I think about Price and the advice he shares with me throughout the day- always sitting like an Cartoon Angel on top of my shoulders. I thought maybe I'd share them with you, in case you need advice from Price too :)

If this fic isn't your cup of tea just ignore it I clearly made it for myself and don't want to be judged lol:(

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Overcoming Perfectionism

You: "What if I don't win? What if I'm not the best? What if my grades slip?"

Price: "You're one of the smartest and most capable women I know, if not the smartest and most capable. You've worked hard for those grades, and I'm confident you'll ace whatever test comes your way. But let's entertain the idea that you don't. It wouldn't change how I feel about you one bit. You're already my best girl. You don’t have to be perfect to earn my love, Darling."

You: "Sometimes I feel like if I don't have good grades, I lose the only special part about me. Having good grades is the only thing I can do, and if I fail that, I'll just be ordinary."

Price: (He would sigh at your words, acknowledging your fears even if they aren’t logical to him) "Darling, you're so much more than just your grades. You have a bright personality, you're sweet, kind, and beautiful. No matter what happens, you'll always be special and extraordinary. There's not one thing in the world that could make you ordinary to me."

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Gaining Weight

You: "John, love, I gained weight again," you sighed, looking at your body in the mirror. Of course, you were incredibly beautiful, but sometimes the monsters in your head just didn’t want to shut up.

Price: "Where's the problem?"

You: "You don’t mind?"

Price: He would smile warmly at you, his smile like in the campaign you know what I mean "No, you're already perfect just the way you are. That slight extra meat on your bones makes you even cuter, besides, there's even more of you for me to love and manhandle." He would make you laugh, letting you forget all your concerns.

Needless to say, he showed you just how much he didn’t mind your body. All night.

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