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storiesandthingsofthatnature · 10 months

Text

You Can Cry If You Want To

Summary: You made a promise to yourself long ago that you would never cry again. However, unhealthy coping mechanisms lead to even worse ones. However, Leon is here for you

Word Count: 1.6K

Pairing: RE4! Leon Kennedy x GN!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of self-harm, cursing, a single slap that was heard around the world, ummmm, that's it? Do let me know tho!

Disclaimer: Nothing to report :3

A/N: So I'm back again but with something fluffier this time uwu Have a comfort fic :3 I'm probably going to add a rules thingy to my blog and pin it to the top soon so be sure to look out for that if you wanna ask me to write anything for you! :D

Anyways, enjoy!

Being in this line of work you have to come to terms with the fact that you’re going to carry some heavy weight. From the deaths of your teammates to a failed mission that ultimately led to casualties. Not every task ended with a happy ending; human miscalculation and error will always be a consequence. But that wasn’t what bothered you today. No, this was a battle that you had been fighting ever since you could remember; mental illness.

You had bi polar disorder - an illness that has caused a lot of strife in your life. You had hoped that enlisting into the secret service would be more than enough to distract you from your personal qualms but it just seemed to make it worse. However, jumping out now would just fuck you over financially and you weren’t sure just how long it would take to dig yourself out of that hole. So, you grinned and bore it. In front of your superiors, in front of your colleagues, and especially, in front of Leon.

Leon Kennedy was a man of high regard and well respected amongst his peers. You were no exception. It was always an honor to work with Leon and a mission became more secure when he was around. But with constant contact comes welling feelings and you couldn’t stop yours from appearing. It was a slow burn, a small cinder that slowly grew into a healthy flame that now resided deep within your chest only for Leon. You could never tell him, however. You were sure that he had someone outside of work and that you were no way in league with him. So, you just let your feelings fester, an unhealthy way of trying to rid yourself of this puppy crush.

And with unhealthy coping mechanisms comes unhealthy actions - you hurting yourself. You weren’t doing it because of Leon, but the added stress of possible unrequited love was enough to overturn the teetering table that was your fluctuating moods. It always started the same, your manic episodes; you become quiet yet violent to where you go on a small rampage. After you nearly demolish the area around you, you just sit down and sob.

After a certain amount of time, you made yourself a promise that you would never have such an episode again. And, right before you entered the service, you started your streak. Through all of the shit and harsh training, you never broke your self promise. How embarrassing would it be to shut down like that in front of your team anyway? Especially Leon.

You could never let them know about this side of you. But because of this you were left with a single, toxic mechanism which was cutting into your arms. You felt lucky that you could wear long sleeves with your uniform but you also wore bandages so as no dirt or sweat could get into the wounds. You craved the pain but you still wanted your arm.

Lately, though, you were becoming quite sick. Due to your stress your stomach was beginning to twist in an agonizing way and migraines were becoming normal. One day, you couldn’t go in at all. You called in and practically begged for a day off. Of course you were to be given harsher exercises to make up for it but you were let off for the day. You could sob from the relief. You settle deeper into your bed and try to sleep off the pain that your body encapsulated.

However, a little under an hour later you heard a frantic knock at your door. You give an annoyed groan and throw off your covers with such force that they fell to the other side. You stomped to the front door of your apartment and you swung the door open with no regard to your bare arms. You were just so tired and sick that you just wanted to be left alone. You wanted to get this encounter over with and go back to bed. But your heart sank to your knees, your sharp tongue catching in your throat. Leon Kennedy was standing in front of your door and your brain was trying to process why the fuck he was here.

“Leon?..W-what are you…?” You begin to say but stop completely at Leon’s expression. He looked intense, very contrasting to the worried look that was etched on his face when you opened the door. “Y/N…” He said it in a way that sounded surprised yet heartbroken. You raise an eyebrow at him but when you follow his gaze you see what he noticed; your scars. You go to hide them but Leon’s calloused fingers enclosed around your wrist. “Why?” He wasn’t going to ask you the question of what this was. He knew but he just wanted to know why.

You hide your eyes behind your hair, unable to look at him. “It doesn’t matter-” “Yes it fucking does!” He didn’t mean to sound so enraged but you were obviously lost in some sort of self depriving darkness and he wanted to know how or why so that he could fix it. But you didn’t want anything to be fixed. Everything was fine as it was, why couldn’t he see that? “Why are you here, Leon?” You ask and the expense of tiredness was evident in your heavy-lidded eyes and Leon’s heart clenched. Have you even been sleeping?

“You never miss a day of training. I wanted to make sure that you were alright.” He explained himself and you sigh. “Well, you see that I’m alright so-” You gesture for him to move back so that you could close the door but he kept his foot on the threshold. “We’re not done here.” He practically growled at you and your sanity was beginning to crack. “Leon, please. I do not have the energy for this.” You rub at your temples, your love for his caring nature now a jab in your side this time around.

He scoffed at you,”Right. And then the next time we talk about it you’ll come up with another excuse - no. We’re talking about this now.” He said as he tried to make his way in. However, you felt something deep within your mind snap and you slapped Leon. He reared back in shock, holding the side of his face that you struck. “I’M FINE, DAMNIT! WHY CAN’T YOU SEE THAT?!” You yelled, a familiar sensation welling up behind your eyes. “Leon please, just go.” You turn on your heel to hide your face, frantically wiping at your eyes to try and coax your body to stop and not betray your promise.

“Damn it, it won’t stop.” You sniffled, your guard down. You hadn’t noticed that Leon had come up behind you, grabbing your waist as he slid into your apartment with you. “Leon! Let me go!” You struggle but then he sits criss crossed in front of your sofa. He places you in his lap, encaging you in the softest hug you had ever had the pleasure of receiving. “Oh.” You say in surprise from the gentleness and what Leon said next shocked you. “Cry.” You blink once and make a sound of confusion. “You’re not okay, [y/n]. And your body needs to get it out and you’re not letting it. Please. Cry.” He brought your head against his bicep, you subconsciously clinging to his shirt.

“I don’t….I don’t…Need..to..” You try to reason with him but you feel the first few hot drops fall down your face. Your last line of defense was biting your lip but your whimpers were far too powerful. You let out a small sob which then transitioned into a symphony of wails. Your grip tightens on Leon and you shove your face into his shirt as you let out years of bottled up emotion. And he held you tightly, rubbing soft circles into your back as he threads his other hand through your hair.

You cried for a little while, but sobs turned into sniffles which led to you passing out. Your body had finally let out everything and now just needed rest. Crystal drops lined your eyelashes as you slept in Leon’s arms, your reddened cheeks and nose leftover from your crying.

Leon stayed sitting for a while, not wanting to disturb you. But once he felt that you were deep in sleep he rose in place and found your room. He laid you out on your bed, having pulled back the covers to tuck you in. After you were snug as a bug, he hesitated in place. He felt like the respectful thing would be to leave but he didn’t want to go. But, his mind was made when he felt your hand grip his. “Stay?” You ask, your voice a little heavy with strain.

Leon smiled and nodded. “For as long as you want me to.” He says and you give a smile of your own. “I fear you may never have another day to yourself again then.” You lightly joke but hope that he would receive it in favor. “Is that a threat, [L/N]?” He teased back as he climbed into bed next to you and pulled you into his embrace. When your scars were in view, he would gently leave ghost kisses behind along the raised bumps and you felt yourself falling in love all over again. He was so scared that he would hurt you, but he still wanted to show that he was here for you. “Oh no, Mr. Kennedy. That’s a promise~”

#leon s kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #re4 leon #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy fluff #leon kennedy x y/n #leon s kennedy x y/n

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ticklish-n-stuff · 10 months

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We need some ler bachira up in here don't you think sis?

Please remember to take care of yourself, though! Love ya <3

Tickle monster

WAHAHA! First blue lock fic! :D

I'm a bit nervous but I like how it turned out! Aside of being insane over Bachira, I'm also mentally ill for Rin so I decided to make him the lee uwu. He's just so wreckable!!!

Anyways I hope this is alright!

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Bachira x Rin (uhh...)

Lee: Rin

Ler: Bachira

Warnings: Tickles!

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Ever since Bachira got separated from Isagi, it's been hard to uhh... indulge in certain moods he gets. But today it was a really bad one, his fingers were itching to make someone squeal in laughter. Plus, this was a good way to get closer to his new roomates, right...? Well they surely fit up to the weird standards, I'm sure a bit of tickling won't hurt.

The first one to come to mind was Aryu as he was the most easygoing one, but to Bachira's surprise he wasn't ticklish?!

"Sorry to dissapoint, that wasn't very glam of me" were his words, but no hard feelings. Bachira just had to pick another target! It can't be that hard, right?... Right?

The next one was Tokimitsu. He was constantly at the verge of cardiac arrect, so he had to be ticklish, right? Don't ask how Bachira reached that conclusion. Speaking of reaching, he slowly snuck up behind Tokimitsu and gave his sides a surprise squeeze. "Gotcha!~"

"GYAH!! B-Bachira!...".

Bachira's ears perked up at the squeal, thinking he had finally hit the jackpot, but it was simply just Tokimitsu getting startled. Once the intial shock passed, he didn't react to the brunnette's pokes and prods. Guess all that muscle ain't just for show.

"Huh, I'd for sure thought you'd be ticklish...".

"Ehehe sorry... but, why did you want to tickle me?".

"Oh well that's simple! I just find it a lot of fun to make others laugh~ But so far, I've been unsuccessful with you and Aryu..." Bachira sighed in defeat.

"Umm... h-have you tried tickling Rin?".

"No, but I doubt someone as serious as him could be ticklish".

"Well, you'll never know until you try...~".

"Hmm...".

Bachira stood by the doorway, observing Rin doing his usual stretches after practice. He was even shirtless but... could sour puss Rin actually be ticklish? There's only one way to find out.

"Hey, Rin-chan! What'cha doing?~".

"What's it look like?" Rin didn't even bother to look up at him, his whole focus on his yoga poses.

Bachira only chuckled at the blunt reply, watching his movements with interest. Rin merely glanced at him, but didn't care to shoo him away. He then did a more complex pose, making the brunnette gasp in awe.

"Wow! You're really good at this, Rin-chan! You didn't even falter at all~" Bachira praised him as he absentmindedly ran his finger down the exposed spine.

The sound that came out of Rin's throat was almost unrecognizable, it was like he chocked on air as he came tumbling down to the ground. But to Bachira, that could only mean one thing...

"Hey, Rin-chan, would you happen to be ticklish?~" Bachira asked innocently as he crouched down to where Rin was. What he wasn't expecting was for the stoic boy's cheeks to heat up from the question.

"Don't ask stupid things..." Rin tried to brush him off, but Bachira was too stubborn for his own good.

"So... will you laugh if I do this?~" the brunnette let out a 'lil giggle as he reached out to lightly squeeze at Rin's hip.

"Ah—" he let out a loud gasp, his entire body instantly tensing up. Bachira looked down at him with a mischevious grin. "Bachira I swear—" but before Rin could finish his threat, Bachira straddled his waist. His fingers quickly worming their way to the bare sides and toned stomach.

"Look at that! You're so ticklish, Rin-chan~" Bachira cooed down at him as Rin wriggled under him. Trying and failing to hold back his reactions.

"Mhph...!" he didn't even dare open his mouth, as that would unleash all those embarrassing sounds he's trying to desperately hide.

"C'mon! I'm not stopping till I hear you laugh~" Bachira crawled his fingers up to Rin's ribcage, softly digging between them.

"Gyah-!" Rin arched his back slightly, his eyes widening as soft titters started to slowly spill out. "Hngh... B-Bachira...".

"Oooh I must be getting close to a sweet spot, huh?~ I wonder..." then his hands finally reached Rin's armpits, and that's when the damn broke.

"W-WAIT! PFFT! AHAHAHAHA!" Rin cackled out like a madman, playfully kicking his legs out from behind. As he clamped his arms down with all his might, but that only kept Bachira's fingers trapped against the sensitive spot.

"Well now I can't get out! Guess all I can do now is... tickle tickle tickle!~".

Rin squealed in ticklish glee from the tease. He threw his head back in hysterical laughter. It was very pleasing watching the usual stoic player with bright, red cheeks and giddy smile.

"S-STAHAHAPH!".

At that, Bachira seemed to snapped out of his tickle monster trance. As fun as it was to watch Rin laugh himself silly, he didn't wanna torture the guy. So he quickly slipped his hands out from his armpits and got off of him.

"Are you okay? I'm sorry if I took it too far..." Bachira felt a bit guilty, what if now Rin hated him?

After catching his breath, Rin stood up to meet Bachira's eyes. Even though his face was back to it's usual stoic demeanor, there was still a slight, pink blush left on his cheeks. "It's fine... it wasn't so bad..." he mumbled out.

The words caught Bachira off-guard, did Rin actually enjoy that?! He didn't tell him to stop 'till he had reached his limit and now he says that?! Bachira's face lit up with joy, causin Rin to glance away, trying to hide his growing blush.

"Maybe we could do this again~".

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#blue lock #blue lock tickle #blue lock tickle fic #tickle fic #bachira meguru #rin itoshi #lee!rin #ler!bachira

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yourlocalderp · 7 months

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A very long and angry essay that will put my head on a guillotine but who cares.

Now before I start, to anyone I may offend or anger in this, I just want to say that I don't care. Call me evil, say I'm bad, announce me the Tumblr fun police, whatever just keep it to yourselves. (Don't actually, I'm bored. Write paragraphs about me on TikTok and slander my name please.)

Also, I'm going to be brutally honest in this, with my genuine feelings out there for the world to hear. If you don't want to read a bunch of words written by a mentally ill teenager who just hates something in the world, then feel free to move on with your life. For all those who don't want to leave/ are actually interested/ readying their pitchforks, then do I have a treat for you.

Now, onto my actual topic. The Marjorine Scotch headcannon fucking sucks and makes no sense.

Let me tell you why.

First of all, it came out of nowhere. She appeared in one episode, and everyone decided "Hey, let's get rid of Butter's and put Marjorine instead mhm mhm definitely a good idea!" Y'all flocked to Marjorine quick as fuck, and I bet a rat ass some of you don't even like her and just want to jump on that bandwagon of the random ass uprise of a character which is a COSTUME of a literal existing character.

Second of all, you all act as if she's been here the whole time. She hasn't, it's BUTTERS who was here, not Marjorine. I keep seeing replies on comments asking why Butters is always replaced with Marjorine going "Well Butters and Marjorine are the same people blah blah blah" as if those same repliers wouldn't go "Marjorine>>>>Butters" like what happened to the "same person" mindset you had before hm? Anyways Butters>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Marjorine like there is no doubt about it if you argue you're wrong and a hypocrite. Third of all, why Butters? Isn't he the most misogynistic, hater of all women, had an episode where he stuck his wee wee out to prove a point, kind of boy? Why suddenly all that is thrown out of the window for some girly girl MaRjOrInE with an unhealthy obsession with hello kitty? He didn't even enjoy being a girl for fucks sake he threw off his wig the moment he stepped his ass out of the girl's slumber party. (Btw feel free to correct me with this part because I refuse to watch the Marjorine episode out of spite.) Why not Wendy with Wendyl? She seemed pretty chill with being a guy. What about Princess fucking Kenny.

Topic 4. Princess Kenny and why she'd make more sense for a fandom to headcannon as mtf.

Maybe it's just because I'm bias to her, or magical girls in general, but why DO I never see anyone headcannon Kenny as anything other than genderfluid? Why does Butters, who dressed as a girl for ONE EPISODE, get the mtf hammer, but Kenny, whom basically EVERYONE called a girl for A LITERAL ARC FOR SOUTH PARK and A FUCKING GAME. Is it because you find Butters more, I don't know, feminine?

Disclaimer, this is where I start going into conspiracy type of shit. Don't take it too seriously because it really ISN'T that serious, but just an FYI, I mean it all.

This brings me to this point; I have a strong belief that some Marjorine people only do the Marjorine headcannon because they see Butters as more girly. Y'all know the ship Bunny? Y'all know how people usually see Kenny as "the man" of the ship? (Yes, I've seen people say that in Youtube comments. Get help.) Well, this makes Butters "the woman" of the ship now doesn't it. Yes, that's right. I'm accusing.

SOME

Take that word in.

SOME

People who ship fucking Kenjorine as to make them your average "UwU boy" and "Mf alpha demon thing who smokes like 30 cigars an hour" but it's straight and Marjorine is your petit anime girl and Kenny looks like he came out of one of those yaoi mangas from back in the day. Like, why is Marj always this cutesy kawaii girl like at least make her crazy?? (And sapphic. Don't be shy, why not make sapphic bunny with Princess Kenny and Marjorine? Then I can at least stomach SOME Marj content.)

I also think Kenjorine is just an excuse to make a gay ship straight. The number of comments I see that go "Omg!!11!!1 I love Kenjorine because it fits soOoOOOoO well with Kenny's character cause he's SO StRaIgHt>.<<<<<<" is annoying. Imagine that with Creek. I know it's a bad comparison with Creek since both boys are gay, but Kenny and Butters don't have confirmed sexualities, maybe Kenny does like dudes, we'll never know. All I'm saying is that why is it that y'all get so pressed when someone turns the "uke" of the ship (Like tweek or butters, lord have mercy i'm going to cry a river.) into a woman, you're only mad about one? (Aka Tweek ones, which is understandable.) At least the Creek people have gotten past that phase of feminizing Tweek to the point he's not even proportionally accurate, the Bunny fandom though.....

Speaking of Kenjorine once again, can you kenjorine motherfuckers get out of the Bunny tag on tiktok? I can't scroll 5 tiktoks without seeing Marj's face and it's gotten to the point that I just had to mention this in here. Y'all have a tag with over 40 million views go use that, after all isn't Kenjorine the "superior" ship to you guys? (After people see this, I bet multiple kenjorine tiktoks are going to appear in the bunny tag and I'll go into a deep depression because I just can't enjoy Butters x Kenny anymore.)

Anyways, last point I'm about to make before I wrap things up, you know those crappy edits of South Park oc's in South Park? That's what Marjorine feels like. She doesn't fit in, she's too "perfect" or whatever, she basically has no flaws to me. Every time I see a Marj headcannon thing, it's always along the lines of: "Marjorine. (insert age). Gets bullied by Eric but stands up to him or whatever like a girlboss yada yada. Epic bf (and it's just Kenny on steroids). Hello kitty enthusiast. (insert a bunch of facts I do not give a shit about)" Like damn girl what about your PARENTS??? Would your parents APPROVE of this? I don't fucking think so, I doubt they'd not ground Butters for even thinking about being trans.

That wraps up everything I have to say so far, maybe I'll come by to update this, maybe not. Either way, here's some final thoughts, as well as my contradictions to every reason I know of why people use the Marjorine headcanon because I'm petty and angry that I keep seeing her.

"She looked happy as a girl!" Did you watch the episode, or did you just see what you wanted to see? He was happy because he was being ACCEPTED. That doesn't mean he liked being a GIRL.

"He wore a skirt that one time!" What happened to "Clothes have no gender?" There's a difference between dressing in "the opposite gender's" clothing, and actually being the opposite gender. If I wore a tuxedo, does that make me a man? No. I'd like to dress up as the genderbent version of myself, but I'm still not a guy. Therefore, this argument is fucking stupid and goes against a lot of shit that people are saying.

"He likes hello kitty!" Again, liking hello kitty doesn't mean you're a girl or something, you're not suddenly a boy if you play Valorant or whatnot, and you are most certainly not a girl just because you play something inherently "girly."

"She's just a girl!!!" He's Butters, get over it. Just plain old simple Butters, leave him be. You people are like the mfs in the exact episode Marjorine was in. You aren't happy with how he was before; you want him to change just to make yourselves happy. Remind you of something in the episode? Where Marjorine cried in the bathroom because no one liked her, and the only reason the people did was they gave her a makeover and made her more girly? You're all just reenacting that episode but pretending that Butters would be happy with it.

Final words

Princess Kenny is better. Also if y'all are gonna type angry paragraphs about me, please send them to me so I can argue with a wall cause it's pretty damn entertaining. I'll even do the courtesy of ranking your insults/comebacks out of 10. I'm so fucking tired of seeing this bitch everywhere it's driving me to the brink of insanity. I know I'm weird and crazy but the Marjorine Stotch headcannon is like a leech in my brain and I can't get that mf out I want her gone she's a genuine thorn to my spine. Out of the courtesy of my own heart, I must say. This fandom truly made me lose all respect I had for a character, and this character wasn't even relevant to anything. She's useless, brings nothing to the plot, and should've stayed a one-time joke. Everyone who says otherwise like "Marjorine is SooOOoOooOO much better" needs a reality check. This isn't fucking "girl power" to you this is the removal of a character for a fandom oc.

Bunny supremacy, stop putting Kenjorine into it's tag, get the fuck out my ship you have your own tag, bye.

#princess kenny #bunny sp #leopold butters stotch #kenny mccormick #south park #south park bunny #oh lord this tag is going to take years off my life span #marjorine stotch #sp marjorine #sp kenjorine #south park kenjorine #i mean everything i say in this btw so feel free to hate #sp bunny #sp kenny #sp butters #fypシ

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ikamigami · 2 months

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So.. right of the bat... Lunar murdered Eclipse.

I won't put a make up on it because I'm pissed...

Ofc Eclipse will come back.. I feel sorry for him because he's (was) in a poor mental state... He was hallucinating.. (or it was the directive that made him go to Lunar but oh well we shall see)

He wasn't thinking clearly though.. because then he would expect Lunar to be mad at him and not want to help him... QwQ pls... Normally Eclipse wouldn't do that.. but he was unable to think that though...

I think that it would be better if he went to Sun.. sure Sun wouldn't probably know what to do but at least Eclipse wouldn't die.. but on the other hand Sun with his poor mental state wouldn't react to Eclipse's insults too well either.. I mean Sun wouldn't kill Eclipse.. but it could end up badly... Who read my recent post know what I mean...

So anyway... Why showrunners can't make Sun talk to Eclipse?! For the love of all that exist!!! Crap! Usvsjsbsnsbbsksnsnsk

I understand why Lunar wanted Eclipse dead but he still shouldn't do that!! Bsbsmbsbdn I'm pissed because those Lunar's fans are at it again! They don't see anything wrong with that cause UwU Lunar bean and he can do murder vxjkznsnsnn aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Now deal with consequences dear Lunar.... SMH

Lunar ain't that different from Moon, huh?!

I know that it's good angst and drama but it doesn't change the fact that I'm mad

I don't have much to say for now cause that was too much for me...

Poor Eclipse... QwQ

I hope that Sun and Eclipse will bond together as mentally ill suicidal blorbos <3

#sun and moon show #sams #sams eclipse #laes #laes lunar #sams spoilers #laes spoilers #tw suicide #tw mental illness #tw hallucinations #tw murder

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kivaember · 6 days

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For the choose violence ask game:

#9, 10, and 12 for armored core

oh man i thought i posted this... i saved it to my drafts dfhdfdfh WELL ANYWAY A BIT LATE BUT yeah if you click on the read more you agree to reading opinions that may run counter to yours uwu

9. worst part of canon

ALLMIND's ending no doubt. While the boss fight was fun and the ending cinematic cool, there were so many plot holes, the ending made no fucking sense, and there was no reason given as to why 621 and Ayre were so gung ho about Coral Release when they both had no idea what it even was? Like it really felt like we were missing a bunch of missions to give context or info and they just didn't edit the script to reflect that.

Like, I genuinely really hate ALLMIND's ending LMAO i pretend it doesn't exist... ╯︿╰ i do not see

10. worst part of fanon

I also close my eyes to headcanons and the like I disagree with, so there isn't really a part of "fanon" that i hate :ua uhh... there probably is stuff I just can't think of any right now from the top of my head.

oh wait, i remember now. People portraying Pater with ~split personality disorder~ or a mental illness equivalent to that because of his DUAL NATURE AC name, his Arena profile and/or citing his behaviour when Hawkins dies. I went on a bit of a ramble before about Pater and my thoughts about him, but there is smth that rubs me wrong something fierce when people just slap on "THIS GUY IS MENTALLY ILL AND SOCIOPATHIC" and make that his whole personality. There's plenty more you can dig into, like how he's an example of what living in a hyper-competitive corporate world can do to you, where you're so focused on success and corporate-pilled that it fucks with your ability to properly process emotion or act appropriately.

But anyways.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

I don't see enough Rokumonsen stuff. I love Rokumonsen. I'd write him more if i knew how to write decent haikus but i don't. THIS GUY IS A CANON WEEB!!! HE PROBABLY NARUTO RUNS IN HIS AC CALLED SHINOBI!!! I'M SURPRISED HE WASN'T YELLING "MISSILE SHURIKIN NO JUTSU" WHEN SHOOTING HIS FUCKING ROCKETS AT YOU!!!! I love Rokumonsen. He's such a nerd that can kick my ass (why has the RLF not yet reclaimed Rubicon when that stagger god is amongst their ranks)

#armored core ramblings #i really need to remember to switch stuff to post after messing with it in my drafts #lmao

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eyecicles · 1 year

Note

some bad dn takes for other characters as well?

Sorry this took me so long.

I’ve seen too much over the years I’ve been in the fandom. And while I tried to be as objective as possible (by mostly mentioning stuff that’s objectively inaccurate), this is obviously only my personal perspective. Subscribing to something on my list doesn’t make you inherently stupid/bad, etc.

Worst L takes:

– Ryuzaki Persona theory, especially when it’s combined with disproportionate disgust and hate towards “Ryuzaki” and his mannerisms + directly or indirectly calling him a “breaching experiment”

– L just wanted what's best for humanity, and all his inhumane methods are justified because he's utilitarian or whatever

– he genuinely considered Light his friend and trusted him & sadly got betrayed by him

– he’s so weird in “L: The Wammy's House/One Day” because Ohba and Obata don’t want you to ship Lawlight

– honestly any take that depicts him as the ideal boyfriend material and/or someone who just needs a partner to fix him

(related: “O&O wanted him to be unattractive? but he is conventionally attractive!” can you imagine how boring that would be?)

– he's just as bad as Light/Misa/Mikami/Mello/any character who regularly murders or participates in organised crime

– he's an unhygienic gremlin, stinks, has dirty feet and/or clothes, never washes his hair, probably has broken teeth, etc, in short: everything that depicts him as gross as possible because of his eccentric mannerisms

(about L being barefoot: I'm sure many people don’t know this, but designing eccentric/disordered/mentally ill characters with bare feet to suggest they’re “abnormal” is an old trope, and people’s reactions to characters like him are…telling. I’m not talking about finding the sight of bare feet disgusting, but biases that are worth dissecting)

– he treated Misa better than Light did

– “L would surely have developed diabetes and die at a young age anyway”

– any take that erases his Japanese descent

Worst Misa takes:

– what L and Watari did to Misa was totally justified

– she’s actually pure and has a good heart & just wants love, and Light is a bad person for not reciprocating her feelings

– she should have killed Light for not loving her and assume his role + absorb all his personality traits

– I dislike everything that depicts her in a "Girl Boss” kinda way. It’s so boring, and it feels like certain people can only respect female character if they view them through that lens

– she’s bad for not loving Rem (granted, it is shocking how little she cares for Rem, and their entire dynamic is messy, but I do understand why she never warmed up to her. She certainly doesn’t owe Rem love)

– anything that depicts her as extremely dumb and incompetent

– similar to what I mentioned in L’s list: any take that insinuates that she should have realised L would be a better partner for her

– she actually wasn’t being homophobic when she said two men chained together is gross & asked if L is gay—she was just kinkshaming/jealous, etc (as if this would make what she said less homophobic)

Worst Near takes:

– he’s just a little uwu baby without a single darker trait (he’s certainly more ethical in some regards than most DN characters, but he’s not entirely innocent)

– he’s somehow bad/worse than L because he’s too maladjusted to participate in society

– he’s a bad L copy and doesn’t have any personality traits of his own

– L did all the work for him (no, Near had to start from scratch, since every information on the Kira case got automatically deleted when L died)

– it’s unfair that the Task Force immediately believed Near when he started suspecting Light (first: they didn’t, two: the situation was completely different, third: it would be a huge coincidence if two very smart detective came to the same conclusion by chance)

– he thinks he’s just as competent/more competent than L (even though he said he needed Mello to surpass L & deeply doubts himself during the C-Kira case)

– he performed better than Mello in their exams because he cheated

– he can’t be autistic because he doesn’t have a beard (I only saw this take once, but I still remember it from time to time because it’s hilarious)

Other bad takes:

– Kiyomi deserved what happened to her, because she didn’t see through Light/treated Misa badly/killed Mello, etc

– Mikami wasn’t bullied enough

– Mello is more feminist than (insert male character the person with this take doesn’t like), because he gave Kiyomi a blanket (yeah, let’s just ignore this happened because of his habit of kidnapping women)

– anything that depicts Mello as this constantly raging, thoughtless and choleric who’s always insulting everyone

– B treated Naomi better than Raye Penber

– Rem was dumb for not working with L (hello... L wants to catch Kira, and even if he were to leave Misa alone, Rem knows Misa wouldn’t want anything to happen to Light—that’s an important plot point)

– anything that insinuates DN is supposed to be totally serious, grim and deeply philosophical (or: ”DN wants to be like Breaking Bad/Crime and Punishment!”)

– Soichiro should have been L’s or Matsuda’s father

#l lawliet #misa amane #near

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salxenia · 3 months

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Toxic love and light girl: omg I'm a cute lil ethereal fairy princess because I had a bubble bath from a Wish bathbomb uwu, the world works in threes, life will drop rewards from the sky after all my suffering, I'm so magical and have such a powerful energy!

Anybody else: talks about their tarot reading, spells, book of shadows, rituals, altars, deities, beliefs, karma, pretty much anything that's a "stereotype" (aka things that were made for the spirituality that somehow is "bad" because it's not quirky and chaotic-driven enough)

Toxic love and light girl, shoving her nose where it doesn't belong: YOU KNOW it's not enough to just get into crystals and tarot cards right, yOu HaVe To WoRk FoR tHiNgS tO bE sPiRiTuAl. This is why you're miserable and your life sucks

Also toxic love and light girl: anyway any little negative feeling I get makes me severely uncomfortable to the point of attacking and berating everyone because I can't control myself so I'm just going to deny myself these negative feelings and repress them so I can keep bragging about being a bubblegum candy fairy princess because it's safe and comfy and I don't have to put in any effort in terms of sitting with bad feelings, recognizing them, and letting them run their own course without my manipulation and without having to control how I treat people when I'm upset. UwU

Listen

1) using manipulative fear-mongering or self-imposed phrases based on the Christian religion is not spiritual

2) expecting to randomly be rewarded for suffering is also based on the Christian religion. Life does not drop things for YOU because it's decided you've struggled enough. Out of everyone who has suffered, YOU think the world will shower you with grace because your car broke down, had a fight with a friend, and posted a bad selfie? It completely ignores the way other people suffer and have suffered for way longer, and sometimes never get their chance.

3) saying you're magical and powerful doesn't just make you magical and powerful. At least other people are actually doing things that make them devoted to their spirituality, as stereotypical as it may be. If your devotion is directly tied only to rewards and punishments, shaming and judging people, using fear tactics to scare people into behaving a certain way or else they deserve to suffer, calling yourself powerful to try and be intimidating or trying to appoint yourself as some sort of unwarranted mentor/leader, and misusing concepts to make yourself feel better for what you go through (while also using those same concepts to judge others as something they must have deserved to go through), you have a cultist/religious mindset, not a spiritual one.

4) the fact that you fear negativity, treat people like shit every time one little thing goes wrong, act condescending towards them for doing things the way they want to, while remaining hopeful for random good rewards to drop for YOU for pretty much no reason other than because you're convinced you deserve it, is in general part of a recipe that also makes people like you treat mentally ill, traumatized, or otherwise depressed people like shit because they aren't "open" to the good rewards. It also goes back to thinking you specifically deserve a reward even you do nothing different except feel confident that you deserve it. You think because you *believe* you deserve it that that means you do, because that makes you a good person (?) to be so confident. Whereas they "stew" in the negativity that you fear/hate so much, so they deserve to stay in it. Putting morality on self esteem so you don't have to feel bad for those around you (because they must deserve it if they feel bad for themselves), while you continue to confidently use your privileges to your advantage and call it being blessed by the universe because you just "know" the world will "reward" you (you can afford to do things you need to do to combat the world's cruelty). God forbid you use some empathy and compassion to understand that sometimes people really are consistently struggling and never get a break (because the capitalist system is fucked but you never remember that, when you're chastising people for not having a good life because they're not shitting flowers).

5) sitting in your safe place, not doing any shadow work or controlling your behavior to your emotions, denying and repressing, all to act like some ethereal, inhuman creature who shouldn't be dwelling on such silly negative emotions, is the lowest vibrational state you can be in. Challenge yourself, cope, acknowledge that you feel like shit sometimes and want to watch the world burn, acknowledge that you're still human, acknowledge that your discomfort towards negativity still makes you bitter and cruel and apathetic when other people do not follow your cultist views on positivity, acknowledge how fucking obsessed you are with being competitive, mean, dismissive, etc to try and make other people feel bad for how they live, how absolutely devoted you are to living in other people's worlds to be the nasty little devil on their shoulder telling them they're doing it wrong, only to crawl back to your own space when you feel a pinch of negativity that isn't numbness or apathy and you can safely wrap yourself in "I'm doing it because I'm divine and purposeful and the world will reward me for doing other people's work".

Actually focus on HEALING instead of using spirituality as a cover for shoving your unhealed ideals onto others for some sort of superiority complex about being a little fairy and being above all human situations.

#toxic positivity #toxic spirituality #toxic #judgmental #shadow work #unhealed trauma #healing #cult #religion #spirituality

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fishyviolet · 1 year

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(no worries about a fast response! it's also late for me lol, and this'll be kinda long. +kinda comes with the hc territory, but tw for discussions of trauma, death, and suicide) i want to start this by saying i'm not trying to like demonize you or be argumentative! hc is a special interest of mine and i love analyzing the themes of it. and i definitely agree that vincent and charles have a deeply toxic and unhealthy relationship in canon, and personally i think it's really weird for people to just portray them as uwu soft gay boys in love because it really just romanticizes a dynamic that isn't good for either character

however, i do also think that boiling it down to "toxic scary horrible for each other forever" kinda doesn't fit with the themes of the series, and i don't think charles and vincent are always destined to be toxic and horrible. one of the main themes of hc to me is how circumstance impacts the healing of trauma and mental illness, and how that goes on to impact relationships. almost all the characters in hc are deeply mentally ill & traumatized and prevented from coping with this as they're retraumatized again and again, with no access to help, a big part of the true realm which translates to the largely metaphorical false realm - charlotte is destined to be the abused heroine, anri lashes out at everyone in self defense, charles dies and tortures himself in his own afterlife, vincent dies feeling deeply alone, etc. the characters deeply yearn for connection - vincent asks charles to be present for his last moments, charles and anri enter a relationship, etc - but this is distorted by their circumstance. charles' mental health restrains him from opening up, anri is too guarded to truly be vulnerable, vincent's view of life is heavily distorted by his delusions, etc

and while ep 3 does end on a more optimistic note (it isn't happy, but charles acknowledges a lot of his own flaws and moves on from the house, with etherane's commentary especially implying that it's the start of a healing journey) the main hc series is still largely deeply tragic and depressing. i'd like to add some text from near the end of hc3, when charles is discarding a vincent vessel and discussing him, as i feel it speaks to his self awareness with vincent in particular:

q84: Weren't you supposed to keep him safe?

charles: ...Yeah. I really messed up. In the end, all I did was postpone the inevitable. No matter what, there's no way I could've helped him. There was no way of "fixing" him, either.

q84: Well, duh, you can't go around trying to "fix" people. There's no way of doing that, anyway.

charles: I knew that somewhere on a subconscious level, didn't I? That's why the House is the way it is. Were I convinced I could change him, or anyone... They would've ended up being the brainwashed, unnaturally happy versions of themselves. Never once have I wished for that. However, the images of people I knew still became distorted in this place. Especially Vincent's. I was so fascinated with the idea of him that I failed to see him as a real person. That's why in the House, he's all but an empty shell. An imaginary construct.

before laying him to rest. it took putting himself through horrible cycle after horrible cycle to acknowledge the flaws in his own life, because he clung so hard to every coping mechanism he could.

but heaven's gate is noted to be a much quieter (and in my opinion, softer) visual novel - it examines a world where the most harsh aspects of hc aren't present (scarlett isn't there, nobody dies) and while the characters are still in bad circumstances, they're allowed to connect much more, especially with vincent and charles meeting earlier

but this doesn't mean hg is happy, just less intense. the characters are still in bad circumstances and still have deep amounts of trauma. but hg presents the characters an opportunity to heal from that trauma, even if by the end of the game, they're still in bad places mentally - it isn't a happy ending, it's a world where they someday have the hope of one. vincent is alive and interacts more heavily with charles, charles has less stress, and anri doesn't move away. even before the end, charles and vincent get more direct opportunities to bond, especially in sharing their works - in particular, i think of the scene where vincent says he has something to show charles, and when charles asks if it's a love confession, vincent says "almost" and shares aether, a work about how isolated he feels. he may not connect to charles, but he's willing to expose a vulnerable part of himself - a deeply personal act that he isn't shown to take with any other character, even ones he makes an effort to be friendly with.

the main point where i disagree with you is that the ending scene is representative of why they're so bad for each other - because while i agree it calls out how toxic both sides of the relationship are, i also think it's less a moment of "oh, we're bad for each other, we can't be friends/together" and more a moment that can start their healing journey. it's a scene that explicitly parallels other moments in hc, but it ends on an undoubtedly optimistic note.

the ending scene is one where charles and vincent truly open up and recognize the flaws in their relationship - charles accepts that he highly idealizes vincent and has trouble seeing him as his own person, and vincent admits that no matter how much he wants to, he's never been able to connect with other people and craves a sense of control. they have extremely different reactions to their trauma - charles desires to become one with another person, to lose his own individuality, and vincent is so walled off from other people he isn't even sure who he's supposed to be outside of an idealized view of himself that he projects to other people.

the difference from the main series is that nobody dies, and there's hope in the future. vincent admits to charles he tried to kill himself, and that he wants to connect to others but finds it nearly impossible; charles admits he hasn't been treating vincent fairly and hasn't been trying to get to know the real him. the ending text in particular i feel is poignant. an excerpt:

Neither of us can find comfort in each other's words. Neither of us know what to do.

"I want you to live," I croak out, not to a corpse, not to an imaginary construct, not to a vacant shell, but to Vincent Fennell himself.

History repeats. I can't see his face.

"I see," Vincent says simply. No tears, no surprises. That's how Vincent Fennell is. Yet, his words sound almost thankful. Vincent gets up and extends his hand to me.

"Congratulations on graduating, Charles." I reach out and accept his hand.

The future still remains uncertain. Yet, I feel like I'll be able to fall asleep tonight. The sun rises. A new day has come.

this parallels old scenes in multiple ways - the entire scene, charles keeps repeating that he has a sense of deja vu, that he's been here before, mirroring vincent's suicide scene (also on a high location where he has his first true heart to heart with vincent). charles outright echoes frei's line on love and individuality - he wants to lose his own sense of self to connect to vincent due to his own self loathing. and most vitally, he echoes the scene of charlotte and c in hc2 where c asks charlotte to kill herself with him - both of them beg vincent/c not to die, not because they can convince the other to live, but because they want the other person to be in their life. "i want you to live." it's a selfish wish, but a wish born out of some form of care and connection.

at this point, their relationship isn't healthy. charles is just admitting that he really doesn't know vincent at all, and vincent is just admitting how distant he feels from everyone. but with the ending of hc3 being so heavily focused on moving on and healing (with etherane explicitly talking about how it was related to their own mental health journey), and with the ending lines of "yet, i feel like i'll be able to fall asleep tonight. the sun rises. a new day has come," i can't see this scene as just a pessimistic confirmation that the two are bad for each other.

to me at least, this scene signifies that though they've had a very rough and toxic relationship, vincent and charles are willing to acknowledge that, want to change, and in opening up to each other and confronting their flaws, their relationship can evolve. charles is accepting that vincent isn't the idealized person in his mind. vincent is accepting that he can't project a perfect image to everyone forever. they can never forget their past, but they can help each other heal from it

in conclusion because i know this is long as hell, i don't disagree that vincharles is a deeply flawed and often toxic relationship, but i also don't necessarily think it's inherently a cannibalistic and self-destructive one - i think hc tackles a lot of themes of uncontrollable circumstance hindering healing from trauma and mental health, and those things impacting interpersonal relationships, and the end of the series is largely about confronting those issues and trying to heal. and i think another big part of the series is that relationships that may be unhealthy due to unresolved trauma and mental health issues may not always be that way - and that hurt people, even if they aren't in a good state now, can help each other heal, even if the journey is hard.

// anonymous submission

Everything below is my thoughts/comments

Oh i absolutely agree w your points! I never really meant to imply that the ending scene of HG was meant to be purely pessimistic or that i was viewing it as such; obviously, admitting one's faults (Charles acknowledging that he wasn't seeing Vincent as a person) is the first step to healing them, and in this case specifically he goes a step further and makes an effort to amend that fault (indeed speaking to Vincent Fennel himself). I was more trying to reinforce how insane it is to me that some people see their relationship as being way more genuine than it actually is Despite context like this. like I personally completely forgot the dialog of the exchange you cited between charles and q84 just because my memory is shit (and i probably need to reread hc at some point soonish). im sure plenty of others are also just as forgetful as I am in this regard. but the ending scene in heavens gate is literally the climax of the story so it's a lot easier to internalize and remember and factor into interpretation and such. thats why i brought it up in specific: when this is the climax of the story, how can one forget that charles is completely deluding himself in regards to how he sees Vincent?!?

i agree that the climax of heaven's gate is very optimistic. I think if vincent and charles worked hard and had the desire to do so, they could theoretically enter a deeper relationship, whether that be a true friendship or a romance or whatever. i liek heavens gate

also re: the Daydream rpf bit that was mainly a joke LMAO i absolutely agree that what vincent represents in The House is far deeper than that! i just thought the connection was funny :] your thoughts are super awsome i will be rereading it if i ever wanna think abt hc agai yayyy

#submission #hello charlotte #super awsom #lovely

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