#anyway. my tummy hurts. im no longer crying so this emotion will be purged pretty soon amen

[lilgynt]

i will sob my brains out at 5 am remembering events from this year and also christmas last year and being annoyingly petty and unable to let go of relatively small comments just bc i’m sensitive and raw and have a complex

#personal #fake therapy is fun till ur sobbing and biting ur lip and realize how hard ur gripping your arm #ben said i was an adult after i jokingly not jokingly mentioned mom made me go to work for 3 days with a broken foot #after she was complaining about how mean we are to her #which i imagine was just resentment of her calling me abusive the other day #and also i was out returning stuff for my mom at like 4 different stores and came back home like give me five to change so i don’t look #frumpy when we get dinner #and then moms like hurry up oh my god and bens like stop that’ll just make her take longer and fuck both of you i’ve been changing for what #5 fucking minutes? is it that deep ? #and mom saying i should have gone earlier but i didn’t bc i was sick and she’s like whatever and i can already feel the difference with my #brother home and it’s awful bc i do love him and enjoy his company #and maybe i’m on edge bc he only visits during holidays and holidays never go well for home #me #and we have fun and enjoy dinner but also that comment and like yeah maybe it was my fault for not just going anyway #but also mom was threatening to kick me out and making fun of me crying in pain #and fuck you you have a completely dynamic to her and she actually fucking likes you #and i just turn into this worst verison of my self around him bc i have a complex and i hate it #anyway. my tummy hurts. im no longer crying so this emotion will be purged pretty soon amen