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why-am-i-here-someone-save-me · 2 years

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@reinbouxsworld I DID THE THING! THE THING I ASKED ABOUT! I DID IT! WHOOOOO!!! HOLY SHIT THAT TOOK A LONG TIME IM GONNA GO PASS OUT NOW (also plz tell me what you think about it because i genuinely really really want to know 🥺)

also this is like literally my first time writing for the twst fandom so like have mercy with me y’all-

@chiaraghia You introduced me to this game and I blame you entirely for this new hyperfixation 😤 thank you bby

This fic is inspired by this glorious post by the amazing @reinbouxsworld

Of Darkness & Dreams

You struggled to keep yourself steady, adrenaline threatening to expose your uneasiness at your situation. Considering who was in front of you, that would most certainly be a bad move. It was almost surreal. You’d never been afraid of him before, but now…

Now you were beginning to understand why his reputation was so intimidating. Now you were starting to grasp why so many people were nervous about him.

“Malleus I-” Your words were cut off by the fae holding a finger to your lips, an indecipherable expression in his eyes. You were… honestly not sure how to feel about this.

On one hand this was Malleus, your friend, arguably your best friend! You cared about him deeply, and well… You had assumed he cared for you as well.

This pressure though… This was nothing like the Malleus you knew. This was new. This was different. This was… frightening.

This wasn’t Malleus, your best friend.

This wasn’t Malleus who would excitedly talk about gargoyles with you.

This wasn’t the Malleus that you had fallen for.

This was Malleus Draconia.

This was the Thorn Prince.

“You’re shivering… Are you cold [Name]?” He wasn’t wrong, you were indeed shivering. Not of chilliness, but rather of fright. You were afraid of the person in front of you. You were afraid but yet… You still loved him. As frightening as he is at the moment, you loved him. You loved Malleus.

“No, that’s not it is it..?” The fae’s eyes widened slightly in realization. “You are afraid… [Name] you aren’t… Y-You aren’t afraid of me, right?” If you weren’t as close to him as you are, you wouldn’t have noticed the way that Malleus’ voice trembled. He looked as though you’d just told him you hated him, hurt and betrayal swirling in his green eyes. You wanted to reassure him that you loved him, that you cared about him deeply, even if you were a little bit on edge at the moment. You swallowed thickly and opened your mouth to deny the fact that you were scared, but the words died in your throat as you locked gazes with him. His expression sharpened slightly, and when he next spoke, his words were steely, harsher than any words you’d ever heard from Malleus before.

“[Name]. Answer me. Do you fear me?”

It wasn’t a question. It was a demand. It was an order.

You found the words pouring out from your lips without your input, complying with the fae’s instruction without any regard to your own volitions. “…I am afraid Malleus. You are frightening me. I don’t want to be afraid of you. I care for you, b-but I’m afraid. I-I’m sorry…”

Malleus looked as though you had just stabbed him through his heart, betrayal readily apparent in his features. He turned away from you, releasing you from his arms. Instinctively you reached out for him, trying to comfort him, but you froze when the fae practically snarled at you. “Don’t.” You flinched back, your body ignoring your orders to hug the distressed fae. You stood there trembling, unsure how to rectify the situation.

“……I thought you were different than the others [Name]. You treated me like… like a normal person. You accepted me as I was and I trusted you! I trusted you! I trusted you and I loved you!!!”

You’d never heard him so furious. But almost as quickly as it came Malleus’ fury fizzled out, his fit of rage seemingly having passed.

The amount of pressure in the air told you otherwise.

“…No. No I refuse to accept this… Am I not good enough for you [Name]? Is that it?”

You blinked a few times in shock. Good enough? Malleus? Was he joking? No, no he wouldn’t be this erratic if it were a joke. “Not good enough? Malleus that’s… That’s one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard-” He cut you off before you could finish. “You aren’t denying it. So that’s it then, isn’t it?”

Before you could retort you register a soft sound, which seemed deafening due to the previous silence.

plip.

plip plip.

plip plip plip.

A bitter, acrid smell suddenly reached you, causing your eyes to water. It was one you were far more familiar with than you’d have liked. You instinctively stumbled back a bit, knowing what was happening yet unable to prevent it from unfolding. Your stomach twisted uneasily, queasy at the memories associated with the all to familiar stench. You already knew what it was.

Blot.

“M-Malleus wait c-calm down please, d-don’t let go of yourself. F-Focus Malleus focus! Y-You’ve got to calm down, p-please calm down-” Your words were interrupted by a small gasp of surprise, as in the blink of an eye Malleus had turned to face you once again, tilting your face towards him with a gentle touch. You shuddered involuntarily.

Malleus’ beautiful green eyes were locked onto you, yet seemed unfocused despite the intensity of his gaze. Just as you had dreaded, an oily black color was bleeding down your dearest friend’s face, staining it with the same pitch black darkness that you’d seen so many of your other friends succumb to. Already it was dripping to the floor, the stench so potent it left your head spinning.

“M-Malleus y-you-” Once more he held a finger to your lips, quieting your protests. The vacant look in his eyes was gone, leaving in its place the presence of wistfulness and longing in its place. “Shhh… No need for words right now my dearest Child of Man. There will be a time for that later.”

The fae cradled your face in his hands, lime green eyes literally glowing with both emotion and magic. “For now my love-” A flicker of brilliant green fire danced in front of your eyes, stealing your attention. You wanted to look away, you knew you needed to look away, yet you couldn’t tear your eyes from the flame’s emerald light.

“-Here, a gift from me…”

The fire vanished, freeing you from the trance it had placed you in. Confusion filled you, only to give way to realization moments later, and turned to despair seconds after.

You felt sleepy.

You shouldn’t be, you’re terrified right now, adrenaline should be keeping you alert and wide awake. You know its Malleus. You know he’s behind this. But the dullness that was washing over your senses didn’t abide by your logic, and the exhaustion that had begun to dawn on your body cared little for your rationale. Your eyelids began to droop, even as you mumbled words of protest.

“…N-No Malleus p-please… I d-don’t wa-want to… sl-sleep… st-stop pl-please st-stop…”

The prince merely chuckled a small bit in response to your drowsy pleas, smiling down at you as you began to fall into his arms, to exhausted to hold yourself up any longer.

“There is no need to be afraid.”

The world around you began to grow dark and blurry, sounds fading in and out and colors spinning and swirling together like an artist mixing a new hue.

“A thousand years will feel like a dream; And I will give you a real happy ending…”

Your eyes finally closed as you succumbed to the spell, breathing slowing down as the thorny tendrils of cursed sleep ensnared your psyche.

“Sleep well my love…”

#it’s official yall #im officially a twst simp #fml #anyways new hyperfixation go brr #malleus is like. jfc.#criminally beautiful #luci writes #twst malleus #twst x reader #malleus x reader #overblot malleus #overblot #overblot x reader #yandere undertones

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narabea06 · 2 years

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Not me starting lightly fixate on Polyhornets-

Anyway, here are a few one-on-one dynamics + hcs between some of them:

Jay x Tim/Jam -

Anxious and awkward guy x Depressed protective guy

One Halloween, they all tried to go to a haunted house and both of them were paranoid as hell and clung to each other the whole time

They send each other consistent reminders to take care of themselves and to make sure they eat

Tim protects Jay physically, while Jay protects Tim verbally

Sometimes Jay will be on his phone and watching YT or editing, and Tim will hug him from behind and rest his head on his shoulder and watch.

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Jay x Brian/Bray -

Short flustered f**k x Tall affectionate flirt

They absolutely love cuddling, but the thing that's hilarious about it is that when they cuddle, Jay always looks f**king tiny bc Brian is so tall

Brian tends to call Jay and all his partners a variety of nicknames- Out of all of them, Jay has the most nicknames, such as: Jaybird, Bird, Blue, Bluebird, Love, Lovebird- Mostly bird themed nicknames. In response, Jay will call him Loverboy. Brian absolutely adores it

Brian has Jay watch musicals with him and sometimes even drags him to the community theater to work on his acting skills

Jay loves randomly pictures of his partners when they're out and about, and Brian f**king loves posing for the pictures

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Jay x Alex/Jaylex -

Best friends to lovers, Two nerds

Both of them have ADHD, and will constantly have different hyperfixations that will ramble to each other about for hours. The times when they have the same hyperfixation at the same time tho is literally the best

Jay will sometimes steal Alex's glasses as a joke and always in retaliation, Alex will steal his hat. By the end of the day, they tend to give them back

Both of them barely get sleep at night and will sometimes just opt to watching movies together in the livingroom until morning

Alex accidentally broke one of Jay's cameras at one point and felt so guilty, he bought him a new one that was twice as good and cost double the amount of the first one. Jay tried telling him he didn't need that good of a camera, but Alex insisted.

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Jay x Seth/Jayeth -

Lovable dumba** camera men, also T4T couple go brr-

Sometimes, their dates will include walking around the city taking pictures and in the end printing them all out and sharing what they took. In the end, its mostly pictures of flowers, birds, and each other.

Seth's dog f**king loves Jay, and every time Jay cones home, he will tackle him. Seth ends up just giggling in the corner while Jay is trying to get the dog off of him

Neither of them are allowed in the kitchen, but they both still help plate dinner

Back when they were recording for the film, it would get really boring really fast sometimes, so in order to help each other stay entertained, they had a constant silent game of tag going on. They would just randomly tap each other, bump into each other, brush each other, and would just going back on forth on who was it. Sarah was the only one who knew it was happening and said that it was an excuse for them to randomly hug and show affection to each other.

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Tim x Brian/Brim -

Best friends to lovers, Anger issues x impulse control

In public, Brian will always hold Tim's hand wherever they go, bc it helps him feel safer. He sometimes will draw circles on Tim's hand if he starts to panic to help calm him down

When they were younger, Brian said that he would marry Tim when they were older, and Tim straight up said "bet b*tch". Now they are married to each other and all their friends-

Considering they've known each other for the longest, they both know each other triggers and how to read each other's emotions, so Tim can see when Brian hides his emotions and will almost always talk to him about it later on. Tims been trying to help Brian be more open with his emotions and thoughts, since it might not be fair for the rest of the polycule who can't read him as easily as he can.

Brian constantly steals Brian's flannels and wears them around the house. Tim is so used to it by now and doesn't mind, and even then, he'll just take Brian's hoodie to wear later.

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Tim x Alex/Timlex -

Enemies to lovers (/hj), Forgiveness leads to romance-

They are both incredibly competitive, so whenever the polycule has game night, it usually ends with the two of them against each other. Whoever wins in the end will then get bragging rights for the next week.

They have a playful competitive rivalry at times, but overall, they genuinely do love each other and would probably die for each other

Alex has a tendency to start arguments with people on the internet and if the person he's arguing with insults him at all, he will pass his phone to Tim, who will go off at them- ("Excuse me, this is his bf, WHAT THE F**K DID YOU SAY TO HIM YOU DUMB FU-")

Similar to what he does with Jay, Tim will just cling onto Alex while he works (especially if hes working late on his laptop) and just watch him as he works. One time, Alex was editing on his laptop at 2 AM on the couch, and Tim just came up behind him and leaned on the couch above him with his arms wrapped around Alex and his head on top of Alex's. He tried convincing Alex to go to bed, but he refused, so eventually Tim just gave Alex a kiss on the forehead and went to bed.

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Tim x Seth/Timeth -

Intimidating and quiet x ball of sunshine

Tim doesn't really cling to Seth as much as he does to his other boyfriends. Why? Bc Seth is already clingy to him and he feels like he'd be stealing his thunder-

Speaking of thunder, both of them f**king hate the rain and tend to stay in Seth's room during storms and wait for it to be over

Seth has really bad asthma, so Tim never smokes around him. Even then, Tim doesn't like smoking in front of Seth bc it gets him worried, and he hates getting Seth worried about him. Seth still worries about him regardless tho

When they first met, Tim was really closed off and didn't want to talk to anyone and sorta stood in the corner of one of the recordings while everyone else was talking to Alex about the film. The few people who did walk up to him found him too quiet or intimidating to start a conversation with (besides Brian ofc), until Seth walked over and just started talking to him. Tim barely responded in that conversation, but every day, Seth would walk over again and just talk to him and get to know him. Slowly, Tim started to open up and began to gain a liking towards Seth

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Brian x Alex/Brilex -

Notorious flirt x flustered and just trying to get stuff done

Sometimes when Alex is working, Brian will come over lay down with his head in Alex's lap to get attention and to fluster Alex. It almost always works.

When they were shooting for the film, Alex accidentally blurted out that Brian was the star because he was the hottest. Brian never let him live it down and brings it up constantly.

Alex will call Brian "Bri"/"Bribri" and Brian calls him "Lex"/"Lexi".

Brian always knows how to cheer Alex up and whenever he sees Alex down while do anything to get him to smile again. The main thing he does to help him tho is to get him talking and rambling about something he's interested in (mainly Star Wars).

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Brian x Seth/Briseth -

Golden retriever bfs

Seth will randomly dye the ends of his hair different colors (mostly blue, green, and pink), and Bryan is the one who usually dyes it

Brian can and will pick Seth up bridal style at any given moment. Seth f**king loves it but sometimes it scares the hell out of him bc Bryan seems to just come out of nowhere-

They will both get excited about random stuff and the entire polycule find it f**king adorable

When they did shoots in the past and it got too boring, they would sit next to each other and play Tic-Tac-Toe secretly on Seth's notebook. Seth tended to let Brian win though

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Brian x Sarah/Brianrah -

Untrusting x helps them open up and start healing slowly (this could go either way ngl-)

They started to crush on each other when they started working on Alex's film (tho they were still friends beforehand), because in the film, Sarah was Brian's love interest. They sometimes would flirt with each other when they were acting but then say that they're just staying in character, but slowly over time, it started to not just be an act.

They both have trust issues and abandonment issues so for awhile, they hated the ideas of being in a relationship with anyone, but slowly started to bond over their issues and began to feel more and more trusting and attached to each other. They often comfort each other and try to be there for each other as much as they can

Sarah is feisty and stubborn as hell, and Brian often has to stop her from dropkicking someone, tho when he does, he usually gives the person she's trying to tackle the meanest death glare.

Brian sometimes models the clothes Sarah makes and always looks good doing it. Sometimes Jay and Seth even come over to help do photo shoots for Brian and the outfits.

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Brian x Amy/Briamy -

Two hopeless romantics, Height difference

Sometimes Brian will pick up Amy and spin her around, while Amy is laughing the whole time Brian will also sometimes carry Amy to bed on the times she accidentally passes out on the couch during movie nights.

They love watching romcoms together, especially the cheesy ones. The others dont understand why they like romance movies sm, but are just happy they're happy. Sometimes on the movie nights, they'll buy a bunch of candy to munch on while they watch (mainly m&ms and skittles, but they also like to buy a few other candies they haven't tried before to try and rate them), as well as a f**k ton of tissues just in case it gets emotional.

They are also T4T (Amy is transfem and Brian is genderfluid), and bonded a lot over it. Hell, sometimes they joke about writing a movie for a T4T love story, and every now and then when they commentate on movies, they'll point out cliches that they do and dont want to include in the movie. They straight up build the characters randomly during movie nights as well, tho its mainly a joke. Alex has been taking notes on it tho so he can make it for them in the future

They are both people who look harmless, sweet, and confident, but at the same time wouldn't hesitate to punch someone in the nose if they talk sh*t about each other or their partners. Alex and Jess tend to be the ones who have to make sure they dont kill anyone- /hj

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Alex x Seth/Sethlex -

Uptight and stressed x easygoing and carefree

Seth always went to calm Alex down when he got stressed, and always tried to make sure he was okay, and when he started to get a little paranoid and snapping, Seth got really worried. Hell, after recording the "you brought your dog" scene, Seth walked up to Alex and asked wtf was going on and said he wanted to know what he was doing wrong. Alex then apologized and felt like sh*t about it and said he's been stressed and scared lately, and tried everything that week to make it up to Seth.

Alex is allergic to most dogs, including Seth's and that's why he was upset about the dog bc the dog was causing his nose to get stuffy and he was getting tired out too fast. Seth told him that he was a support animal for his panic attacks and PTSD, and Alex felt terrible about getting upset and decided to put up with the allergies for the sake of Seth. Seth appreciated it tho, and tried asking Alex what breeds he wasn't allergic to, and then bought him a dog he wasn't allergic to, hence Rocky. Alex cried-

They had a rocky friendship at first, but slowly they both got more accustomed and caring for each other and became friends, and now lovers.

Seth likes to link arms with Alex when they are in public. Alex gets a little flustered when he does it tho, and it always makes him smile.

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Alex x Sarah/Sarahlex -

Slow burn chemistry, Best friends to lovers

They met in middle school and were kinda all each other for years until they met Brian and Tim. They were seen as trouble kids growing and ended up latching onto each other bc they were the only ones who saw them as more than that

Sarah will sometimes lovingly call him a nerd, but like everyone else, will listen intently whenever he rambles about his interests and even lets him drag her into watching series with him.)

Alex ended up accidentally projected onto Brian's character when he wrote about Marble Hornets, specifically when it came to his character's relationship with Sarah on some parts, tho he didn't notice it at first due to him not being able to confront his feelings for her for awhile

Sarah would literally die for Alex if she had to, and Alex knows this and feels like he's not worth her life, but Sarah thinks otherwise

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Amy x Alex/Amylex -

Girlboss x Malewife, Mom friend x Dad friend

They tend to take of the take care of the polycule the most, and will sometimes bake together.

Amy also does gardening and loves nature. Her and Alex even go on nature walks sometimes, tho Alex tries to point out stuff and try stating made-up facts, pretending like knows what he's talking about, when actuality, he's just trying to impress Amy. Hell, one time, he picked her a bunch of tiny yellow flowers for her, and gave them to her all proud, but then there's Amy who knows full and well that those are weeds but still treasures it anyways. Amy does tell Alex nature facts as well, and he tries to remember whatever he can.

They met through Alex getting roped up into being the band manager of one of his old colleague's small band, and Amy ended up becoming the lead singer. Alex thought she was so f**king cool, and fell in love really fast but didn't know how to approach Amy about his feelings and just stayed quiet about it. Amy though thought he was really cool tho too and started trying to talk to him after practice and they became friends. At one point tho, the band members started getting on both of their nerves bc they started to get really rude towards Amy, but Amy decided to just put up with it bc she needed the money from the gigs. Tho one time, the guitarist got super out of hand and said some f**ked up stuff towards Amy and both her and Alex snapped. Alex proceeded to break the guy's guitar. Amy, on the other hand, broke the guy's nose. After that, the two left the band and started hanging out outside of the band and then started dating later on.

Alex isn't the best at singing, but still loves doing duets with Amy and the others on karaoke nights.

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Amy x Seth/Sethmy -

Short couple, "He asked for no pickles!", So fluffy that I might die-

Again T4T ✨

Seth has a hard time with standing up for himself at times and got harassed a lot in college, and Amy was not putting up with that sh*t and would stand up for him. She also tends to be the one to help him with his social anxiety.

Since Amy also considers Rocky her dog as well as Alex's, her and Seth bond over being "dog parents", and will take their dogs on walks together.

When they cuddle, they hate staying still and in the end just end up in a tangled pile. They dont mind tho.

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Amy x Sarah/Saramy -

Enemies to lovers, Love at first sight, Determined and friendly x stubborn and in denial about the crush at first

Sarah was in complete denial she liked Amy at all and just rubbed it off as she hated her bc she made her feel so nervous and fidgety when she was around. Considering that Sarah was raised and taught to be strong and untrusting and to not let people see what bugged her, the fact Amy could make her mask fall so easily made her very scared. Amy though didn't realize that Sarah liked her or that she was purposely trying to avoid her and just thought that she was scared of her and went "Ill help her not be scared of me and try to talk to her more!" And turned into Amy being determined to be Sarah's friend and Sarah hopelessly falling in love.

Sarah instinctively tries to protect Amy herself bc she does that with all her partners and honestly generally people she cares about, but doesn't realize that Amy can easily protect herself and even tries to protect Sarah a lot, which surprised Sarah a lot bc she never gets to be the one protected usually.

Amy writes songs for her a lot and will straight up serenade her on her birthday. Sarah usually tries to flirt back or do anything remotely calm or cool back, but is always so flustered and speechless.

Amy loves laying her head in Sarah's lap when you cuddle

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Seth x Sarah/Sethrah -

Dog person x Cat person, Best friends to lovers, Hyper, energetic, and clingy x tired, stubborn, and protective, "Are we dating or are we just friends?-"

Sarah used to live in a camper/motor home with her cat Patches, and every morning, Seth would wake her up by busting her door down with breakfast from McDonald's in hand

Seth has scary dog privileges- /hj

Seth is the kind of person to constantly show off his girlfriend being so proud and caring for her like- "EVERYONE LOOK AT MY GF/WIFE AND HER ART AND SHE'S JUST AMAZING AND YOU ALL SHOULD APPRECIATE HER BC SHES AWESOME AND I LOVE HER-" And Sarah would just be tired and confused and flustered-

Sarah will sometimes just hold Seth's face in her hands and just stare at him and go "how are you such a dumba**-" Seth usually responds with "But you love me anyway, so i think that's a plus!" Sarah will stare at him again and go "...Fair-", give him a kiss and let him go

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Jessica x Amy/Jessamy -

"And they were roommates-", Contradicting aesthetics, Best friends to lovers

Jessica actually fell first but genuinely confused on how to tell Amy how she felt. Amy took a while to realize she fell, but when she figured it out, she honestly couldn't have been happier, and accepted it.

They were already becoming really close, but both of them were sorta internally going "Is this gay? Is she being nice?" Turns out it was both. Things kept going like this until Amy eventually just asked to kiss Jess when they were getting ready to get ready to go to one of Amy's gigs. Jessica ended up just immediately blurted out "Yes-" They started going out after that.

Jessica has bad insomnia and paranoia that makes it very difficult to get sleep at night, and Amy is always the one to come over to check on her and help her get some rest. At one point, Amy got Jess a stuffed animal to help her calm down enough to sleep. It was a purple bunny plushie, and Jess still has it to this day

Jessica isn't the best with makeup, so Amy helps her get ready usually. As a reward, Jess makes her breakfast in bed beforehand. (Usually being french toast, her specialty and Amy's favorite)

________________________

Jessica x Sarah/Jessarah -

Oblivious goddess x head over heels in love

When they first met, Jess had no idea that Sarah liked her, mainly bc her self-worth issues made her feel that nobody would love her romantically in that way, which made Sarah's life twice as hard bc she tried constantly to give Jess hints and flirt with her, but Jess was completely oblivious. Jess was also starting to fall in love herself, but thought that Sarah was just being nice and that she wouldn't ever feel the same way. Eventually, Sarah just ended up talking to Jess when they were alone and finally said straight forward "I'm in love with you. I have for literally months. Can we get coffee sometimes?" Jessica straight up just froze and ended up having a mini panic attack at that before finally saying yes.

Jessica and Amy were basically Sarah's gay awakening.

Sarah does realism art along with her fashion designs, and will draw Jessica a lot, and even make her some clothes every now and then.

They, in fact, did get that coffee in the end, and started going on coffee dates every Saturday afternoons. The thing is, Sarah had never actually had coffee before until that first date and just sorta said it when she asked Jess out bc she saw someone else do it. She did not tell Jess that though, and just pretended she knew what she was doing when she ordered her drink and asked for a black coffee. She absolutely hated it though, and Jess instead let her have some of her frappe, and now that drink is her favorite thing to get.

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hyperfixation-tangentopia · 4 months

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Random thing I keep hearing (and honestly I agree): sharks are better than dolphins

May I ask what are your thoughts about it, if u don't mind?

ALRIGHT, full disclosure most of my knowledge about sharks and dolphins alike have been lost to memory issues, BUT. I can explain my personal thing.

Dolphins. Are. Menaces.

Sharks are chill :3

Uhhhh, is basically what it comes down to. And don't get me wrong, I love dolphins! I love a lot of menaces to the animal world (look at honey badgers). But sharks get such a bad rap in comparison. Which, I know is me repeating old news at this point.

I would go on a rant about this but uh, aforementioned memory issues. So instead, I'm going to rant about why I love sharks.

SHARKS! MY CARTILAGE CONTAINER OF A FISH!

First off, they don't have bones. Which isn't terribly relevant but I think it's neat :3

Sharks have always held a special (albeit terrifying) place in my heart because my Papa had a picture of a Hammerhead swimming with fish as his lock screen. And me, being 4, saw this as reason enough to develop a liking toward them. Plus, I thought the Hammerheads looked SUPER COOL (and I was right for the record).

I was a pretty nature-obsessed kid and for a while I was homeschooled (like, less than a year), and so I'd watch Nature Documentaries for science (pain to my 6-year-old ADHD brain, but whatever). I discovered Whale Sharks were a thing (amazing, wonderful, joys to the Earth) and how they ate krill and plankton and watched the swimmers swim with them and touch them and 6-year-old me fell in love.

Fast forward a few years and I see one of those National Geographic books about sharks. I go "oo, okay", read it, and trigger a new hyperfixation for myself where I dodged every picture of sharks (excluding Whale Sharks) because their eyes still creeped me out.

I unfortunately don't have most of the knowledge I did then, but I remember specifically thinking Mako, Nursery, and Tiger Sharks were the coolest things ever. (Also discovering baby sharks ate each other in the womb, which was fucking awesome to 2ndish Grade me). And thinking Tiger Sharks eating anything was really cool.

By the way, Whale Sharks are amazing and probably was one of my favorite sharks at one point. In - in case I haven't clarified that.

I've as of today rediscovered Thrasher Sharks are a thing, which stun a few fish then go in and gobble them up instead of the feeding frenzy approach. It's also really interesting to me how some sharks can't stop moving.

I remember loving Nursery Sharks, but I don't remember why. I think they were ones I wanted to go see in real life, but again, memory go brr. Anyway, as of right now my favorites are Makos because they go speed.

#TYSOMHCH FLR THE ASM #ASK #I think I definitely got side tracked into just rambling and I'm sorry memory shit means I can't remember most of the facts I used to #some of it might be outdated anyway but STILL #and uh yes I love sharks very much #their eyes no longer creep me out but I suspect I'd still scream if I saw one unprepared in person #unless in a controlled area in which I'd be ecstatic

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sixstepsaway · 2 years

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insert that "I LIIIVE" gif of the rat thing emerging from flames here because i am awake and i have thoughts

(eta: guys im sorry i've never seen mulan i didnt know that gif was of mushu or from mulan IM SORRY I DIDNT KNOW HE WAS A [asks google] DRAGON AND I COULDNT FIND THE GIF TO ACTUALLY INSERT IT I DIDNT KNOOOOOOW IM SORRY)

so i was thinking about how we were all discussing yesterday how Ed seems to, like, get new fixations that give him a brief bit of joy until they tip him too far into instability and being unreliable and Izzy has to deal with them?

and I was thinking about the fact the majority of us seem to read Ed as having ADHD, and he definitely seems to be depressed, and I was thinking about my own experiences with ADHD and I just... I think if 1x09 hadn't gone down the way it did, Stede and Ed wouldn't have lasted anyway, right now?

and, i quickly clarify, i'm not saying in this that Ed doesn't love Stede or vice versa, and I'm not saying I don't want to see them together in the end (I do), I'm just saying I don't think they were (or are) at a place where that would actually happen, and for once I'm talking about something different than the rose-tinted glasses

the thing about how Ed is presented is that he's bored. He's had enough of a boring life where everything is the same every day.

The way he describes piracy in the past, when he's reminiscing with Jack or telling Stede about the life he doesn't want to go back to, it sounds like it used to be fulfilling for him. He used to enjoy it! He loves a good maim, he cut off toes 'for a laugh' (implying it was fun), he and Jack talk excitedly and animatedly about serving under Hornigold, despite it being terrible.

The way my ADHD has presented over the years is this: I have a hyperfixation. It's usually a TV show or video game, but I'm into it. I'm obsessed. I can't think of anything else, and anyone who tries to talk to me about anything else finds themselves very disappointed because all I want to think about or do is related to that thing I'm fixated on. After a few days of this, it simmers down to something more manageable (where I am right now with OFMD), and although I'm capable of talking about other things at length, and I'm happy to do other things, I'm still getting a shit ton of serotonin and dopamine from the thing, either by rewatching, replaying, writing fic, reading fic, watching fanvideos, or whatever else.

And then, after anything from a week or two to up to around a year or so, depending on how much Newness I'm able to keep injecting into that fixation (a 5-episode Netflix series no one else watches will last a couple of weeks, an ongoing show that me and my bestie are both into might last a year+), that fixation fades away and I'm left with... nothing, because I can't even look at the thing now. I've wrung it dry. It has no serotonin or dopamine left to give.

That is when my depression cuts in. I don't see myself as depressed because those feelings only come up when I'm either suffering from PMDD or my fixations are gone and I have nothing to obsess over.

I see a lot of that in Edward. The cycle of needing something to give him newness and excitement and dopamine, the sudden high when you find the thing that makes your brain go brr (Stede and the Revenge, Jack showing up) and the horrible crash once it loses its shine (his depression in 1x03 and 1x04 that is barely noticeable in 1x05-1x09).

I'm not saying Edward doesn't also have depression, to be clear, I'm sure he does, but I am saying that ADHD hyperfixations are an excellent (sarcasm? potentially) way of masking depression to the point you all but forget you have it until suddenly you're crashing again and the world doesn't seem worth existing in because nothing is giving you joy the way your fixation does.

Ed has no joy and no fun in 1x03, it's why he latches on to the idea of Stede, who seems so fascinating. In 1x04 he lunges wildly from rescuing Stede to discussing suicide to playing dress-up to mourning the idea of dying to being a lighthouse and committing the next chunk of his life to hanging out with Stede. ADHD-ers also hyperfixate on people, and if we let it be that way and not supplement it with other things and interests and treat that person as a full person, not just a fixation, and distance ourselves from that hyperfixation, it can be really toxic for everyone involved.

The way Ed talks about Stede in 1x09 ascribes the full responsibility for his no longer being depressed and being happy and having fun to Stede, rather than the fact he was surrounded by people who treated him like an equal and loved him, and the fact he was doing something new and different. He says 'you' as the reason the last few weeks have been so good, and as wonderful and romantic as that is (and, again, it is), when you read that through the lens of ADHD and depression you can just... see the crash coming?

You can also see it in 1x10. I stand by my meta that Ed is masking as Stede when he takes Stede's place as Captain, draped in fine things, eating marmalade and talking about feelings with the crew, but if you look at that from an ADHD-er with their hyperfixation ripped away context, it's very similar to how it feels to me to be fixated on, say, an online video game, to the point of playing it 12hrs a day, and then the internet gets so slow you can't, and so you're scrabbling for crumbs like reading about other people's games and looking up discussions of how to play better. You can't get the full 'hit' of the fixation, and you're desperately trying to still get something from it, because you've been getting all of your dopamine and serotonin from it up till now and suddenly some outside factor has ripped it from your grip. Ed draping himself in Stede's things and eating his marmalade and living in his ship and trying to be him reminds me of that.

The nice thing about all of this, is that when they're reunited the fixation will, hopefully, have faded down to something more manageable, and that means they can come together on a more even-keel, with Ed seeing Stede less as a dopamine dispenser and more as a person that makes him happy in a more well-rounded way. More than that, hopefully Ed can find fulfillment and what he needs before he reunites with Stede, so Stede can just be a brick in the wall of his mental health, rather than the entire structure. He was making good strides towards that when he was being pseudo-Stede, because he was filling his life with people and hobbies outside of Stede himself, and that was good!

Until the kraken thing, of course, but I'm sure we can get back there eventually!

anyway this brought to you by the person who decided to watch OFMD with her mother who has <1hr free every day and so had to eke it out over about two weeks while trying very hard not to sob in between episodes because of how much i wanted to binge the whole thing in one good and how awful i felt to be kept away from it by a hell of my own making

(my mom loves OFMD too. i watched 1x01 alone, then half of 1x02, then decided it was so good i wanted to share it with her, and she actually enjoyed 1x01 more than i did, she was in absolute hysterics over stede's antics, whereas i just found them very amusing. it made the show even better to watch, so i have no regrets, but boy was that fortnight hard for my brain)

#edward teach #edward teach meta #ofmd #ofmd meta #stede bonnet #blackbonnet #blackbonnet meta #our flag means death

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not-kayvalencourt · 2 years

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Alright, I'll bite. What's the "Mirror Realm" you talked about in the tags to your last post?

Also I'm pretty sure you have the ability to go Anon is off

Oh, shit, really? I'll have to fix that when I get the chance, could have sworn it was on.

ANYWAY mr is relatively new compared to fr, since I just started developing it a couple weeks ago or so. I had seen a post a while ago talking about the way Rise changes up the age order (if I ever find it again, I'll link it!) and how it might influence future generations of tmnt. A couple questions were posed: "What if Donnie was the oldest?" And "What if Mikey was the oldest?"

(Long post ahead, it's segmented into four parts with the juice in the middle >:))

And So, It Begins...

Biting off far more than I can chew.

I wanted to tackle Donnie first (my initial plan was to come up with a few ideas, do some for Mikey as well, and then move on with my life buuuut, ADHD says "haha, funny au go brr" and I've hyperfixated on Donnie's part ever since), so I started with the basics.

-Mutant turtles

-Rat man ninja

Simple. I just have to spice it up a little. I've already started on the first part in making Donnie the oldest, but I wants to add a couple more little tweaks. At the moment, the age order goes (oldest-youngest): Donnie, Raph, Mikey, Venus, Leo.

"Why is Leo the youngest?", you may be asking. Because I thought it was funny. I had also brought up the AU to a friend when I first started development and he- jokingly- suggested adding a fifth turtle. I remembered Venus and Jennika, immediately working them into the universe, as one does.

Angsty-ass Backstory

Beating up fictional characters as a love language.

I knew I really wanted to go ham with the backstory. There was the standard "pet turtles turned mutants in freak accident", but I wanted to take this idea on my own joyride.

Hamato Yoshi and his wife, Hamato Miwa, ship themselves far away from their home of [unspecified location], Okinawa, Japan, to the wonderous city of New York. Okay, maybe not as wonderous as the brochures had put it, but Miwa was happy; and, if Miwa was happy? So was Yoshi.

Sure, he had some regrets moving across the Pacific Ocean and North America- his sister Karai was left alone, still busy grieving over their late father. Yoshi had been hoping to talk to her, or at least get a sign that she didn't truly resent him. The passing of Hamato Shō wasn't pretty, but it was no one's fault, surely she wasn't mad about that? It had already been so long. There was no need.

Whatever. Yoshi had Miwa, and together they had one son. Yoshi had always loved the work of the Renaissance Era, a few artists and works he was particularly infatuated with- it was difficult to pick just one! Eventually, though, he settled on Donatello, after Donato di Niccolò di Betto Bardi. He found the long name amusing, and while it's shortened on the boy's birth certificate, Yoshi would still call for him with it whenever he was in trouble- the amusing name working in the kid's favor, as Yoshi could never take himself seriously.

Donnie was quite tall for his age, growing up, but he still fit in perfectly with his classmates. Great grades (the kid was hardly five, it's not as though the work was difficult), a huge imagination, and most importantly- a cheery, light-up-your-world smile that won every battle.

His most endearing trait, Yoshi found, was the child's ability to get dirty, no matter what. He would come home with bandaged and bruised knees covered in grass, despite New York's general lack of grass for his knees to get covered in, but it was always there. His elbows matched, caked in dirt and debris and band-aids featuring whatever little character was popular at the time. Miwa often joked about how he would likely knock out all of his baby teeth before the others had a chance to grow in.

But he was having fun. He had many friends he'd rough-house with, but all in good spirit- not once did he run to his parents after school without a grin on his face.

Of course, all good things must come to an end.

Angsty-ass Backstory: The Sequel

Taking every previous turtles's greatest fear and turning it into these ones' reality.

Donnie had recently learned about turtles in class one day, suddenly deciding that he needed one right now, or else his life wouldn't be complete.

Their apartment's "No Pets" rule just so happened to not include said reptiles; and besides! Miwa and Yoshi both had their fair share of pets as kids, what was the harm in one? Sure, turtles lived quite a while, but they both had uncanny faith in this option. Something short-lived, like a rat, would be preferred; but Donnie certainly had a way with words- as well as their contract- despite hardly living a full decade.

The turtle would be going with Donnie wherever it could, anyway. It was more or less his problem, and the responsibility could help teach him something, Yoshi reasoned. Miwa seemed weary, but allowed it nevertheless.

Maybe Miwa should have listened when her gut told her it shouldn't happen.

One moment, it's a domestic, relatively chill moment at the pet store- the next, it's cold, metallic hands holding the Hamatos's wrists like it would cure cancer.

I wrote a short fic about this (tw for needles, discussions of human experimentation, and drawing blood), just barely 1k words, and it's not exactly up-to-date at the moment, but fairly accurate to canon. I loved the Kraang being this big, scary villain in Rise and wanted to channel that, but using 2k12 Kraang's numbers. I had also, in my research about previous tmnt generations, discovered a scientist called Harold Lilja and thought he'd be a fun addition, alongside Null Laboratories.

What exactly is up with the Kraang, Lilja and Null Labs is something I don't wanna spoil just yet >:) I also still sorta need to work on it lmao. But, after stuff happens, a 7 y/o mutant turtle suddenly has four siblings and is down a parent. Whoopsies.

After the destruction of Null, they find themselves in the sewers, with no more home to return to. Donnie and Miwa are both extremely aware of the dangers of being on the surface, knowing that they, too, would be terrified at the sight of human/animal hybrids roaming the streets of NYC.

Well, maybe that actually was pretty tame compared to the other stuff, but God knows what would happen if other scientists got ahold of them, and neither certainly didn't want to relive that.

Now what?

Purposefully leaving unanswered questions so they can find their way into my inbox.

I still have so much more to talk about, but it's two past midnight and I have school and a concert today, so I'll attempt to get my five remaining possible hours of sleep while I can. In the meantime, I'll make quick work of switching anon back on and would love to see if anyone takes interest in this AU. I'll quick make a tag as well, and just about anything related to it (asks, posts, fanworks?..) will be put under that tag.

Buenos noches, buenas tardes o buenas días,

Kay

#Mirror Realm AU #hoping everything makes sense and there's no big issues as I am too tired to beta read it #tw discussion of needles and human experimentation #it's not really a discussion tho. more or less just mentioned but definitely not hidden so I'm tagging it anyway.#rottmnt #unpause rottmnt #tmnt 2012 #tagging since they're honestly the biggest inspirtations #tho there's a lot of influence from what I've read about the comics and a little from the og 1987 show too #lmk if I need to tag anything else btw!! thanks

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astronomical-bagel · 3 years

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So recently I’ve been making this pirate au for the past several days or so, and I’ve been hyperfixation on a whole bunch of different sailor things, including boats. I have this whole notes folder that I’m just infodumping on. it’s getting pretty big and I’m excited for this story I’m building but um. I don’t think I should be allowed to write in it after 5 am anymore.

THAT ISNT EVEN A GALLEON

#Storytime with Kittle #kinda #it’s short #anyways new hyperfixation go brr #anywyas if anyone wants me to talk about it I will not complain 👀👀👀#There’s ✨magic✨ In it #Oh and if anywyas wants to know why it isn’t a galleon galleons have three masts #and a spinnaker sail #pirate #sailor #ALSO WHO WANTS TO HELP ME NAME TECHNOBLADE’S BOAT #WILBUR’S OLD ONE WAS NAMED THE SYMPHONY IM PROUD OF THAT NAME BUT I CANT THINK OF ONE FOR TECHNO

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magma-cjay · 2 years

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we miss ur jojo art :, (

Augh I had the feeling y'all missed my jooj, knew this would come into my inbox eventually.

Unfortunetly it's just that there's not enough jojo content, and the way jojo works to make my hyperfixation bullshit go brr. I understand why it's written the way it is, and Part 6 (Netflix is not helping at all) Is going I'm not as interested anymore? Part 5 was my golden little baby and unfortunetly it's over now and Its been long enough where I'm not as attached anymore. Am i still inlove with Risotto? Yes, do I draw him still? Yes but I think I've made him so detached to his canon self that he's not actually Risotto anymore. He's not even CALLED Risotto he's called Dante (blame Marble for the most perfect name ever) and I don't post alot of it because I find it embarrassing haha, most of it is just drawings of.. him.. i don't draw as many sceneries as I would like to anymore :( I'm gonna try and fix that though! If you guys want me to draw my super embarrassing Dante pictures than I can, i just won't label them as jojo art because I don't classify them as jojo art. But I'm not super comfy to explain what they are? It's nothing bad, just self indulgent. I hope you would understand.

I'm sorry that I've been neglecting the jojos 😔 I still love La Squadra, I just... found a new thing to get into, does NOT help I've been all alone for alot of time at home doing nothing at all, and all my friends who did like jojo already knew my opinions on my favourite part. In truth none of the other parts give me as much joy as part 5, I still want to see Risotto art 👀 I get excited when I see new Risotto art, I have alot of gripes about Part 5 to, then again I also have.. way too many gripes on Legends, which if you all didn't notice is the new thing I got into haha, bad show but it's MY bad show we all have one.

Anyway this has been a ramble, I may draw JoJo art in the future as a memoir, but I'm sorry that I forgot to mention this stuff prior! I'm appreciative of you all!

#ask #jojo #jjba

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out-of-this-dimension · 3 years

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I’ve been a little mentally stuck on this Star-Crossed chapter so if you’re wondering where the next update is... yeah, writer’s block for that fic has been a bit rough lately. ^^;; I am, however, here to bring you the good news that planning for future fics is going surprisingly well! I have a mini-fic that will probably land 25k words(ish) in the works and a longfic that I’m doing an outline for. I don’t think I’ll be posting it until Star-Crossed is done or MOSTLY done. I’ve literally written 2 fics in the middle of Star-Crossed and I don’t wanna stop and do that again. Star-Crossed will be the main focus until it’s done, even if I have to strangle this writer’s block in order to make that happen.

I’m going to also go ahead and unofficially close the poll I had earlier! Here are the results (thank you for those who voted):

Love and War seems to be the winner and tbh, I’m a bit relieved because that’s the fic concept I’ve found myself having more inspiration for lately. So that will be the next longfic after Star-Crossed! Oh the antis are gonna love this.

Before that fic (or maybe alongside it? Haven’t decided yet), however, I am going to be doing aforementioned small fic as a sort of break. It’ll be somewhat a spiritual successor to And The World, A Little Bit Darker and will follow Andrew Oikonny pre-Star Fox Assault.

Anyways, that’s your fic news of the day. I thought about just leaving it at that but I do feel quite bad that I haven’t been able to focus on SF as much lately. Hyperfixations do in fact go brr. Here’s a first, very rough draft sneak peek into the mini-fic I’m planning as a lil treat!

A rhythmic tap-tap-tap of Andrew Oikonny’s foot set a tempo that was just slightly off-beat from the jazzy elevator music playing as he ascended, his destination the quarters of Sargasso’s leader, Wolf O’Donnell. Or Lord Wolf O’Donnell, as he had decided to style himself as of late. Andrew was not sure who had planted in his head the notion that Wolf needed to call himself royalty to be respected but that was unfortunately the way life was now. Wolf was all but retired from his mercenary work, having pilfered a small fortune and amassed a small army. He ran Sargasso as a criminal hub, letting other unsavory sorts come through if they had the coin to pay for a place to lay low. And Andrew supposed it was nice, getting a steadier paycheck and not having to risk his life for it. But it was not the life he wanted for himself, and he had known that a long time ago, before Sargasso was even being built.

And Wolf had known it too, Andrew knew. It was unspoken that eventually they would have to go their separate ways but the simian was hellbent on making sure that did not happen. After everything had gone to hell on Venom, Star Wolf had become his new home and the mere thought of leaving it behind… Well, Andrew could not think about that happening. Not after everything they had been through together. They were a group of damn ruthless mercenaries but at the end of it all, they were a family. In that weird and warped way.

But each time Andrew thought that to himself, he felt guilty. He had not said a word to his mother since he had left and was fairly certain she thought he was dead by now. And Andross’s memory clawed at him mercilessly, reminding him of what could have been. Staying at Sargasso felt like a dailliance, flirting with apathy when there were things to be done. Andross’s dream could still be realized if it continued to live in all of them. And it lived fiercely in Andrew Oikonny’s heart.

He wanted to go back to Venom. Back to the grind of freeing the Lylat System from Corneria’s oppressive rule. And Wolf was fully aware of this; they had been having this discussion on and off for years now. It ended the same way. Wolf was adamant about staying at Sargasso, about letting old dogs lie. And Andrew was adamant about the future his uncle had laid before his feet, that of a successor to a throne that was his birthright. Each conversation had inevitably ended with Wolf “winning” the argument and Andrew had contented himself with waiting for a more opportune moment. It was a cycle that had continued on for several years now… and now Andrew was at his limit, watching life and time slip on by as nothing was done. Nothing changed. The Sargasso residents, mostly ex-Venomian soldiers, ate, drank, and partied like the Lylat Wars never happened. And Andrew was left to think on that legacy that beckoned to him back on that old poisonous planet, left by the wayside in favor of relaxation and booze.

Tap-tap-tap of his foot. Then the doors opened and Andrew was met with the sight of Wolf in his luxurious albeit worn red armchair and Leon leaning against the desk next to him. The perfect image of a crime boss and his faithful lackey. Wolf was on speaker phone with someone. A client, possibly. Or another band of mercs looking to negotiate for a place to stay while the CDF scoured the galaxy for them. Andrew didn’t know which. And he frankly did not care.

#fic talk #an update #queue'd

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