#anyways this chapter took so fucking long to finish cause uhh yeah so much crap happened

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Therefore I Am | Russell Adler x Bell! Reader IX

Series: Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War

Therefore I Am | Russell Adler x Bell! Reader

Word Count: 6500+

[Chapter VIII] [Chapter X]

Summary: After somehow reconciling with Adler, Bell and the team are left to continue their pursuit of bringing down the undercover spy ring, but it proves to be more of a challenge as Bell struggles to move on from their Perseus-affiliated past.

Content Warning: mature content, vulgar language, mention of drugs, straight up agony

Notes: Writing action is so hard. 

January 21, 1984

The Pines Mall, New Jersey

Two hours.

That was the slim interval between Stitch's departure from the safehouse to Zenya and Adler's arrival to the mess left behind.

He missed you by two hours.

Thus, with each minute that passed, your chances of survivability lowered.

With these kinds of thoughts wracking around in Adler's brain, the plane ride to New Jersey was becoming more tense than it should have. He couldn't even rest during the flight, and instead just crossed his arms and looked out the window into darkness. 

Not only was the lives of innocent people on his shoulders, but you were also part of the mix and taken hostage. If he were to ease up now, there was the chance of a slip up. Adler needed to concentrate, but without you there, it felt like a piece was missing— a big chunk gone from the whole. 

He had but a few hours to assemble a team. A part of him didn't want to participate in the mission to the Pines Mall, but he was the one leading the squadron, so there was no other option available. 

Thus, Adler dreaded at the thought of finding out what Stitch had in store for him. Simultaneously, though, he was itching for the encounter to release his pent up stress and project the anger. The last interaction he had with his nemesis was taking out his left eye, and the last thing he heard about him was that Kravchenko sent him to prison. But, as it turns out, you broke him out, and let the monster loose. 

Did he blame you? No, not entirely, since he himself had a part to play in the end. Everything about you stemmed from him. Like Hudson said back then, if he only killed Perseus in Vietnam, they didn't have to deal with Greenlight. And if he just killed Stitch, you wouldn't be in this situation.

But if those events didn't happen, he would have never met you. It was bothersome to consider that the world worked in such a way. 

A meeting was held right as he and Zenya got off the plane, and he had made the call ahead of time to assemble a small team consisting of himself, Zenya, Wyatt “Bulldozer” Jones, and Woods. Mason and Lazar were quick to volunteer the moment he broke the news to them earlier, but he couldn't let them on. Because Hudson wouldn't allow it.

"Bell's not a traitor." 

It was taking Adler’s entire willpower not to blow off at him. And yet at the simple suggestion that you went rogue, he went ballistic. How ironic it was to hear someone else tell him the same excuse he told Lazar, Mason, Sims, and Woods after returning alone from the cliff. Even as stupid as it sounded, a lie that fell so easily off of one’s tongue can become a truth to many.

"I know that, Adler. Trust me, I’m not too keen on it either,” Hudson proclaims. “I don’t know what’s going on through Black’s mind. He wasn’t too eager to find out that the asset was taken off radar.”

"The asset you asked Bell to meet was a Perseus agent. How did that fly under the radar? Bell did what should have been done a long time ago."

Adler was seething, trying his utmost best to not storm out of the room. 

"The orders are to execute any hostiles. And, unfortunately, that includes Bell. The mission comes first, I hope you remember that. Lives of thousands of civilians are at stake, and I don't need your personal agenda—"

"You made an exception for Mason. They shouldn't be any different."

"Mason is one of our own."

"And Bell isn't? You were at DEFCON 2, and even then you put your trust in Mason. Or are we just playing favorites now?"

Hudson pressed his lips in a thin line, unable to come up with an explanation or excuse. This scenario was too uncanny, almost like a replica of what they went through years ago. In Hudson’s place was Adler, as you were to Mason. As much as he hated to admit it, he had actually taken a liking to you. But, having to balance out the decisions made between him, Adler, and Black was crucial, and this was the best option to tackle the situation at play.

“Bell provided us the information we needed to even have this mission in the first place,” Adler continued to interpose, “We at least owe them the benefit of the doubt.” 

“Look, Adler. I had enough trouble as is just trying to convince the higher ups to let you lead the team. This isn’t my call, or your call to make. It’s Black’s,” was all Hudson could respond with. “If you mess this up, then everything is done for.”

“We’ll see about that.”

As if on cue, Lazar, Woods, and Sims pile into the room. “So, what’s the game plan?” Woods inquires, his usual attitude shifting into a more pensive state.

“Priority is the gas and Stitch and his men. It’s up to us to find Bell after that’s taken care of.” 

"That's not what I said, Adler," Hudson dictates. All eyes avert to him. "If Bell's considered hostile, then treat them as one." 

"This is my team, Hudson, I tell them what I want them to hear. Worry about briefing your own squad." Hudson gives him a hard look before parting. Adler redirects his attention to Sims. "Did you get what I asked?"

His friend nods, plopping down a folder. "Right here." Skimming through the contents, he pulls out an intricate blueprint of the Pines mall, handing it over. "The surveillance cameras were sabotaged just a couple hours before you came back from Berlin, but I managed to restore a couple of them."

Still photos from said film were thrown into the mix of papers, Adler running his fingers down the edges. They had limited lighting, but judging from the context, it was Stitch's henchmen placing canisters around the mall.

No evidence of you.

"Is that all?"

"Just one more. Aerial pics. The canisters seemed to be focused at the middle of the place."

Woods joins in, asking the question Adler had been dying to ask: "Any signs of Bell?"

"One of the security guards reported that a couple of large semi-trucks were seen unloading at the back," Lazar chimes, "There's no camera in the storage area, but I'm guessing that's—"

"Don't worry about Bell. We can find them once we deactivate the bomb."

Lazar trails off as a disgruntled look appears on his face. It was the coldness in Adler's voice that stunned him the most. Considering that you and Adler managed to re-establish a relationship over the past few months was surprising on it's own, and to hear him just brush you off and infer that you were a liability was… shocking. "But—"

"If the bomb goes off, we're done for. And if we're all dead then what's the fucking point?" Adler rubs out the butt of his cigarette. "Eliminate all threats first, then once that's over we can look for [L/N]. That's the best outcome we can achieve."

“So you’re just telling me to ignore the fact that Hudson labeled Bell as an enemy?” Woods 

"Black did, not Hudson," Adler corrects. As much as they weren’t seeing eye to eye, there was no reason to hold grudges. They were both in a tight spot, so he had to give some credit to him for sticking through it all. The guy managed to get him to lead the team, and that was all he could have asked for. "Don't heed any attention to it. Bell's going to be fine, so just focus on the mission. That's all I'm going to say on that matter, got it?"

He's met with nods and hushed agreement.

In contrast to his words, Adler felt his gut churn as he listened to himself.  It was perfectly within reason to model the mission in such a way, and doing so would ensure the safest route of getting you, and everyone else, alive. He could only place blind trust in you to hold strong on your own while they finish their business. It hurt him enough trying to put the partition in the relationship to avoid clouding his judgement, but he needed everything to work out. For the sake of you and the general public.

With the few hours remaining, he couldn't sleep comfortably leading up to the operation. Adler spent most of the time checking up on equipment, making sure everything was working properly and that nothing was missing. From the attachments down to the amount of bullets in a magazine, he checked it all. How could he rest, knowing the fact that you were out there at the mercy of the enemy?

And he blamed himself for it. He should have brought you along. You were stuck in West Berlin for the majority of the time ever since they found you, and he couldn’t even give you the small opportunity to return to the states. How you were excited to go to Washington, only for him to break the news. The sheer look of disappointment on your face physically hurt. And because of his neglect, you were gone.

“I'm trusting you on this one Adler,” Lazar had told him. “We all are. Probably not the best thing to have on your shoulders, but it's for Bell's sake. I hope you know what you’re doing.”

Despite the positive words, it was easy to detect the nervousness and worry wrapped between them. Everyone who came to know you could only suck up their emotional baggage and lock it up as the time to deploy neared.

So when the helicopter landed on the side of the mall, Adler tried his hardest to set his feelings aside. It was all part of this line of work; there was bound to be sacrifices. Losing teammates and friends was a price to pay. He's been doing this for years, and he should be used to it.

He takes a deep inhale before exhaling silently and exiting the vehicle. 

The mission is priority.

Adler, Zenya, and Woods lined up against the wall, letting Bulldozer approach the doors with a sledgehammer. They were covered on the other side with metal platings, screwed in tightly with bolts. 

“Oh, before we begin,” Woods speaks. All eyes turn towards him, and he makes sure to look at each of them. “I don't care about what Hudson or Black said. If I find any of our fucking bullets inside Bell, I’ll personally hunt you down and end you.” 

He receives a disapproving glare from Adler, who shakes his head to himself. He wanted to side with Woods on this one and switch priorities, but it would only cause conflict and additional worries. And he didn’t need that.

He gives Bulldozer the greenlight. “Do it.”

Bulldozer’s efforts left deep dents in the metal platings as they fell. The interior of the premises was dark, leaving only their flashlights and the neon light strips to illuminate the small area around them. A distance away, a periodic beeping repeated itself. There were no Soviets or anyone to greet them upon their entry, leaving them to push further inside. 

Families of cables were thrown about like vines, slithering across the floor and crawling upward on the walls. There was no purpose in trying to sort through it, as it all ran towards the same direction.

“Watch your step,” Zenya advises.

They followed the river of wires and rounded the corner of the arcade, passing by the bright and cheerful stores that were untouched by the supposed chaos the mall harbored. With the thick tension in the air, their footsteps echoed, calling out and resonating in their own ears.

“Any movement?”

“Not yet.”

At the center of the mall should have been a large fountain running on its own cycle. Instead they were met with the sight of exposed blue and white tiles, damp with whatever little remains of water. Placed right on top of it was the centerpiece— a collection of blue barrels, rigged with explosives. Compared to the photos they’ve seen earlier, there were way more than originally presented.

"What the hell?"

Focusing the flashlights on them reveal it to be the rumored Nova Six gas. Adler's nose wrinkled at the faint smell that filled his nose. It was the same one that was present back in Rebirth Island during the raid.

"The bastard's manufacturing Nova Six again."

Before he could investigate further, an enthusiastic chime comes from the elevator a few feet away. Upon arriving, the doors pull open automatically, letting the bright lights flood out into the darkness. Adler squints at the contrast as the white illuminates the silhouette of the person inside.

Within a blink, enemies emerge seemingly out of thin air, revealing themselves behind corners and on top of the balconies. A few bright red dots appear on Adler and the team's clothing as all weapons become trained onto their figures.

"Shit…”

Adler's watches the shadow that emerges from the elevator. Stitch was almost unrecognizable from the last time he saw him, but with recent photographs and that identifying scar, there was no doubt that he was the guy that he captured from Rebirth Island. 

"Adler," his nemesis greets with a deep timbre.

Adler pulls his arms upwards, redirecting his focus directly at Stitch, gripping the gun handle with the force of a god as the stock digs into his shoulder. “Where are they?!” He ignores Zenya's plea to simmer down, heart pounding against his chest as he faces uncertainty.

Everything was supposed to go smoothly. Take out the hostiles, disengage the bomb, kill or capture Stitch, then find you. Yet there was already a grave miscalculation— There were way more enemies than they estimated. He already knew the second that elevator dinged that the plan was going to be scrapped. All that meticulous planning gone to shit.

"You'll be joining your beloved soon enough once I'm done with you," Stitch replies coldly. There was no time to react as he flags down his troops with a hand signal, closing his fist into the air as all hell breaks loose.

"Fuck, get down!" Woods instructs as he lets a smoke grenade drop to their feet.

The area became hot with gunfire, bullets ricocheting all over the place. Fumes of grey clouds flowed out from the ground, encasing the team as they dived for cover nearby. His earpiece began to fill with information from the rest of the team.

"What's the next step, Adler?" Zenya demands.

What the fuck could they do? Any subtle movement they made was met with a torrent of bullets. His eyes stung as the smoke continued to pour out, trying his best to make out the outlines of the rest of the team nearby. "Jones! Notify the Bravo team to move already!" 

"—ETA about ten minutes!"

"What's the hold up?"

"Police barriers are preventing them from getting in."

"Well, tell them we're fuckin’ outgunned!" He needed to make a decision. Adler presses his lips in a thin line, recalling the layout of the mall. "Team, get to the arcade! We'll just have to hold them off until Hudson and the bomb squad arrives!"

All of them attempt to forge a path to the neon faculty. Woods and Bulldozer hid behind planter islands, providing suppressing fire as more and more enemy troops seemed to flood the entire area. As one body dropped another would soon take its place, much to their frustration. The once polished floor, sparkling clean, was now riddled with holes and covered in soot.

Stitch was nowhere to be found, abruptly disappearing the moment smoke filled the area. 

Woods lets out a moan as a bullet grazes his shoulder. "Ugh, damn it! They're not letting up any fucking time soon! You'll guys have to go on ahead!"

Adler gives out a huff, looking in the opposite direction. "Zenya, on me!"

She returns a confirming nod.

"...Go!"

They both jump out from their spots, heading towards the fluorescent lights.

"RPG!"

The projectile shoots their way. All four of them scatter, jumping away from their hiding spots and diving for the closest cover. Adler forges ahead despite the danger, letting his legs carry him to the arcade.

Woods groans as he lands in an uncomfortable position, but pushes himself back up and pulls inward, a bullet narrowly missing his arm. The place he was crouched at moments before was now a gaping hole. 

"Well, fuck," he grumbles under his breath. There wasn't even a chance to recover, a grenade lands near him.

He jolts up from his spot, running into the closest store and diving behind the counter. The shrapnel belts against the surface around him. "Give me a fucking break…" He peeks around the corner, taking one enemy out as they attempt to reposition closer to him.

Woods takes a brief second to gaze around the store he was in. Majority of the interior was brown, various electronic items and trinkets placed on the shelves and glass display cases. A stray round punctures a hole into one of them, a couple of shards landing on him. His eyes land on a lone door, just right at the corner.

Bulldozer's inconvenienced voice rings in his ear: "Woods! Need some help over here!"

"Hold on!"

He kicks the door open with brute force, and is met with a lone soldier jumping out from behind a collection of boxes. He whips them in the face, knocking them away before putting a couple of shots into their chest. They collide with the ground, a sickening crack coming from underneath them. "Thought you could sneak up on me, huh?" 

"...Frank?"

Woods snaps his head towards the owner of the voice, just right inside the inventory space. There, he was met with a stomach churning sight.

You narrowed your eyes at him, only to ease up within the next instant as you flinch at the sting that came with the contortion of facial muscles. Woods' figure was hard to distinguish, just a blob of muted color, leaving the struggle of refocusing the image to your right eye.

"Holy fuck…" He rushes to your side at breakneck speed, undoing the straps that prevented you from collapsing onto the floor. Woods holds out a aiding arm and catches you as you stumble onto your feet. "What'd he do to you?"

"It's just a flesh wound." You take a few breaths, trying to recuperate your stamina. You didn't know how long you were out, but it was the sound of bullets colliding with the walls that struck you back awake, a wave of nausea hitting you. The gunfire didn't cease on your awakening, and Woods' radio continued to buzz with a multitude of chatter. "What's going on?"

"Tell you later, I just need you to pull yourself together. Can you do that?"

You nod. Woods' voice was full of worry and concern, but given the situation, there was no time to loiter around and lie down to wait for a certified medic. There was no rest for anyone, and peace was only granted where there was no onslaught of danger. Your attention is brought to the cart of red-stained instruments, Stitch's knife placed on top. With your good hand you grasp it and slip it into your belt.

Woods kicks the gun on the floor towards your direction, gesturing at it. "Go get the rifle. We're leaving."

"I… I can't."

Woods was about to inquire the reason for your objections, only to note that your left arm was limp at your side. He sends you a sympathetic look and hands you his sidearm instead, loading it up and preparing it for you. As you readied and stabilized your balance, he quickly wraps a roll of bandages tightly around the left side of your face, and you give him a feeble smile of thanks.

"Something tells me you've done this before."

"An old friend of mine— Weaver."

As he mentions the word friend, you think back to the post it note. "Wait. Mason... How's Mason?!"

Woods hurries out the room with you trailing along behind him. Every move felt sluggish, and you were just waiting for the adrenaline kick to come in. "Mason's not here, he's back home, remember?"

"Yeah, but—"

"Enough chit chat, Bell, there's no time. Save your energy and just concentrate on keeping conscious." He introduces you to the warzone just outside the Eighteen clothing outlet, the sound of turmoil and peril ringing in your ears. "Zenya! Sitrep!"  

He pauses, listening to whatever is being relayed back.

“Well get to the fucking arcade already! Adler should be there—"

Bullets cascade in your direction, and Woods pushes down on your shoulder to get you under cover and courteously takes them out in your stead. He reloads his gun, giving out a frustrated groan, and you felt a little guilty, knowing that you were going to become a hindrance. You withheld an apology, knowing that he would just condemn your words.

Once done, Woods nudges you, pointing his chin towards the Galaxy-themed walls just right across from the shop. "Both legs are still working, right?"

You bow your head as confirmation. "Adler's at that arcade?"

"We're sitting ducks until Hudson's forces join us, so we can't stay in one place for too long." Woods adjusts his posture. "On my mark."

Taking a peek over the counter, you plot out a path, already coming to a rash decision. “You got my back, right?”

"Wh—"

He didn't even get a chance to countdown or answer as you break into a sprint with a small burst of energy that arose. Pain shot up your leg as your foot first made hard contact with the floor, but it quickly ceased to a burn as you focused on one thing, and one thing only. 

"Bell, wait!" 

--------

Adler manages his way to the arcade as a couple of soldiers try to prevent his efforts. Inside, he fights off the both of them, sending an array of rounds into their chest. Another tries to sneak up behind him, but he whips around and delivers a jab to their throat, managing to wrangle the rifle away from their hands and ending them with one to the head.

"Bell, wait!" Woods' voice screeched through the earpiece. 

"Bell?" Adler repeats. A wave of relief washed over him momentarily, lowering his stance. He reaches up to his ear, about to confirm if he heard correctly, but wasn't given the opportunity to as Stitch sneaks up behind him and puts him into a choke hold.

His feet left the ground for a split second as Stitch tugged at him, arm tensing up and pulling tighter. Adler could feel his breath leaving him as he clawed at the arm around his neck, trying to pry it away. The rest of the squad were elsewhere, taking cover from gunfire while also taking out the enemy. 

Spots danced in Adler's vision as his strength started to fade away. His throat was on the verge of being crushed, face changing into a bluish hue.

Right when he was about to give out, he heard the sound of a bullet ripping through flesh, and for a moment Adler thought he was the one that got shot. However, Stitch seemed to grimace at something, giving out a pained and irritated growl as the hold loosened.

Stitch's eyes narrowed towards the direction of the attack. A distance away, just right underneath the open entrance of the game room, a figure stood. Lighting was scarce, but he could make out your form from neon lights as you leaned against the wall with a pistol in hand aimed at them.

"You-"

Stitch wasn't given the opportunity to finish his sentence. Out of bullets, you dropped the gun and charged towards the both of them, tackling him off of Adler. The guy was a unit, but you managed to use your weight to pull it off. Adler collapsed, coughing violently and massaging his neck as you brought Stitch to the floor. He struggled to call out to you as you gave out a warcry.

"Someone just doesn't know how to listen, do they?"

Bringing out the Stitch's knife from your belt, you plunged it downward over his chest, but he holds out a hand, allowing the blade to pierce through it instead. He lets out a pained growl, but uses his other hand to grab a hold of your arm and push against you. Your expression was scrunched up in agony and animosity as your cut hands gripped the handle, opening them even further.

"I ought to put you down like the damn dog you are," Stitch beseeches. 

"If I were to die, it wouldn't be through the likes of you."

The tip pierced through his vest. Just a bit more, you told yourself, putting every effort into it. You could see the cloth peeling away as the metal pierced the area. His grip on you was insanely tight as he tried to fight against you, you couldn't feel both your arms anymore. Left arm useless, you used it as a weight to further press against the hilt. Blood rushed to your head, and your ears were ringing. You only focused on the only objective in front of you— Kill Vikhor Kuzmin. 

A surge of strength arises with him, and you could feel him regaining some stamina over you. You were already weakened and struggling to keep awake, adrenaline the only thing letting you move freely. Passing out wasn't an option, so you had to do something.

Even so, it wasn’t enough.

Stitch began to fight back, overwhelming you with strength you couldn't muster. He turns your hand towards yourself, the blade pointing at your front. Yet you glared daggers, refusing to back down. You tighten your jaw in the effort to resist, ignoring the burning sensation in the entire upper left side of your body. It was as if someone had laid a fresh bed of lava underneath.

"Bell!" Adler yells. He reaches out to a fallen rifle close by, aiming right down the iron sights and pulling the trigger.

He was met with the sound of continuous clicking as nothing came out from the end. There wasn't even time to think or breathe. Adler throws it to the side in frustration and pushes himself up, only for his vision to become tilted. His ear was ringing thanks to a busted eardrum from the RPG from earlier, and he struggled to maintain proper balance. 

"Hudson's crew just arrived! The heli is right outside!" Bulldozer announces in his ear.

“Agh!” 

Adler raises his head, only to see Stitch had sunk the knife into your stomach.

"You ought to choose your words carefully," Stitch leers, towering over your body.

"Bell!" 

His voice cracked, and something inside Adler snaps. He zooms forward, giving it his all as he plows through, knocking Stitch off of you. The wind gets knocked out of him as they both fall onto the floor. A fist collides with Stitch’s mask, Adler following up with his knee full force into the stomach. He grasps at the ends of the black hoodie, pulling it towards him as he delivers a brutal headbutt.

Basic close combat training Adler learned through the years was thrown out the window. Rules couldn’t hold him back in this encounter, the only way to win would be to fight dirty. It was a boxing match without a referee. And considering what Stitch had just done, there was no point in following basic etiquette.

You could hear Adler’s cries of distress and efforts with each blow he received. Stitch somehow gets the upper hand, delivering a good jab, throwing him into a daze. Your consciousness was slipping away, pain surging from every part of your body if you even dared to move. Tears brimmed at the corners of your eyes, knowing that you couldn’t do anything. 

Their blurred figures fought mere feet away from you, and you could only play the dying casualty as Adler began to get pummeled, Stitch’s driving bringing his knee to his stomach and causing him to double over and gag. A well-timed hook connects to the right side of his jaw, sending him downward.

Adler!

You cursed yourself, balling your hands into fists. Digging your nails into the carpet, you try to roll onto your side in an effort to crawl, only to be met with excruciating pain. You gave out a whine at the sensation.

Why am I so damn weak?! 

Darkness swarmed your vision. Adler was on the ground now, rendered useless. His pathetic attempts to get an advantage, whether it be through grabbing of the clothes or wrists, was easily thwarted as Stitch straddled on top of him and beat the living daylights out of him. 

Both of you were going to die here, in some random New Jersey mall, both to the hands of a man you once worked alongside with. His vendetta against the both consisted of nothing but vengeance, and he was about to succeed.

You couldn't do shit. Drugged up, left eye slashed and your left arm broken, this was the worst state to be in. And now had an internal bleeding thanks to the metal serrated ends clawing into your insides. You blink slowly, about to let darkness take the remains of your sight. It was useless. Every effort was spent preventing Stitch from further harming Adler, but even then you couldn't prevail.

This is it. 

Giving up wasn't easy, and you thought there would never be a day where you actually threw in the towel. Yet, with everything you have just experienced, and what was happening now, you were definitely dealt the short end of the stick. Perseus was going to win, and one of the biggest thorns that continued to prod at them was about to be wiped off the grid. The Nova Six gas was going to be released to the general public.

No. 

Not yet.

You still had something to do. Just one thing left.

If someone were to make it out alive from this mess, it had to be Adler.

After all, you had a job to do.

Brows knit and vision filled with red, you grasped the handle of the knife protruding from your stomach. You grinded your molars together, taking a sharp intake of breath as you proceeded to pull it out. 

Pain erupted without hesitation, and it took everything within your mental capacity to keep awake. It was a horrid feeling, and you whimpered with every miniscule movement. You could feel the metal lifting out, and blood began to splurt, staining your shirt. It hurt. Everything did. Death seemed like a great option.

Your mind was warning you, demanding you to stop. You wanted to, but you refused to yield. 

If you were going to die, then so be it. You'll even take Death's damn hand if it means that Stitch would be coming along with you. 

You held back a cry as the knife came free. It glistened underneath the neon lights of the arcade, stained with your own fresh blood. You took short, little breaths in an attempt to lessen the pain, only to no avail.

With a trembling hand, you flip the blade around, holding it from the tip. It was warm. You couldn't even see your own skin underneath the mass of blood that caked your fingers. Just how much did you lose for the sake of this man? 

Not that it mattered. If Adler trusted his life to you, then you'll do whatever it takes to make sure he lived to see another day. 

Pulling your arm back, your fingertips pressed against the metal as you readied yourself.

Mustering all remaining strength, you swing full force, chucking the weapon towards the duo's direction. 

It cut through the air without a second thought, going into a nice arch.

You could see Stitch look up during the final moments as the knife struck him, embedding itself right in the middle of his forehead.

He didn't make a noise as his eyes rolled into the back of his head. 

Time seemed to slow down as you watched the Russian fall onto his back, not even groaning as he collapsed.

It's over.

You let out a difficult exhale after holding your breath for so long, and set your head back down, staring up at the ceiling. Your arms fall to the side, eagle spread.

The lights of the arcade machines flickered and bounced around without a care in the world. Beeping and 16-bit noises played along in an attempt to veil the sounds of warfare just outside the doorway. There was a soothing vaporwave-like rhythm, luring you into a sense of numbness and peace.

The purplish blue was a nice shade, and it made you drowsy. A wave of tranquility washed over you as you watched the light show, and with each blink you took, your eyelids felt heavier and heavier. Sleep was calling out to you.

How many near-death experiences did you have? Trabzon Airport, Cuba, Solovetsky, the cliffside… The list went on.

Adler heaved violently nearby, using the back of his hand to wipe away the crimson that ran down his nose. The effort was useless, as more of it continued to streak downward over his lips and chin. It had taken a moment for him to register that Stitch ceased all movement, lying uselessly with arms splayed out. Horror-struck, his expression held itself frozen as his own knife stuck out from his forehead.

Bell.

Adler’s arms shook as he held himself up into a crawling position. He saw you lying there with a pool of red that was about to expand underneath you. He pushes himself to you with his elbows, holding out a hand to you. “[L/N]!” his voice quivers.

He was calling you. 

Turning your head, you see Adler struggle to make his way over to you. You manage a shaky smile as he enters your view.

“Is that you, Russ?” you gurgle weakly, squinting trying to focus. The metallic taste in your mouth only seemed to strengthen, lathering your taste buds.

“Don’t talk!” His eyes darted from place to place trying to figure out where he should prioritize first aid, but his thoughts were racing and he couldn't concentrate, head rolling from the thorough beating Stitch had given him. "Shit, I–"

“Ah, it is." You gave him a soft smile. Albeit your altered vision, Adler's face managed to detail itself. The hat he had on previously lied on the floor a couple paces away, his hair instead ruffled and a mess. "I couldn’t recognize you. Stitch really did a number on you… And me."

The mere sight of you made Adler's stomach drop. A mix of black and red resided where your left eye should have been, covered with soiled bandages that felt like it didn't do much to help. You had several bruises as well, cuts decorating your skin. Old scars that you had were now covered with new wounds. Your shirt had dark stains on it as it clung to your body. 

Adler's hands went towards your stomach, applying pressure and you winced underneath him. “You’re going to be okay Bell."

You try to laugh at his attempt to comfort you, only to choke up some blood. "C'mon, be truthful. How do I look?"

He couldn't respond, and with one hand he reached behind, shoving his hands forcibly underneath the covers of his satchel, trying to look for any medical supplies.

"I told Vikhor that… if he even touched you.. I'd kill him." Your eyes lingered on his. "C'mon don't make that face. Aren't you proud of me?"

He looked pitiful. Adler was biting the insides of his cheeks, just trying to keep himself together amongst this hell hole he was thrown into. But he couldn't hide it. He wasn't fucking proud— he was broken. Whether it was the mere image of your mutilated body, or the thought that you practically sacrificed yourself for him, he knew that he was the reason you did the shit you just did.

Adler didn't ask you to do it. So why, why, why, did you commit to such a selfless act? That valor he admired now became the reason for your recklessness and gave you reason to act so blindly. Why were you so fucking loyal? A month without your presence nearby and the first thing he sees upon contact was you bleeding out in front of him. It was like God, or whatever higher being up there, was testing his integrity of how much shit he can take before breaking.

The instant he felt his fingers rub against something inside his pack, he pulled the object out. 

A flare.

No. No. Nonono—

Where was his medkit?

You placed a hand on his cheek, wiping away a tear that escaped the corner of his eye. The gesture stings as he feels your finger brush against his puffed and bruised skin. He sees you shake your head slightly at the effort of his search for treatment, and his own heart just drops. 

Stop.

Don't look at me like that. Why are you shaking your head?

"You need to leave me."

Don't say that! he yells internally. Adler feels his chest constrict at the thought he conjured up.

He gives out a shaky breath as he places his own hand over yours, ignoring the blood smearing against his scar. "Bell, I'm not going to leave you," he says slowly, trying to control his emotions. "We're getting out together."

"'Crying doesn't suit you',” you reiterate to him, but at that point you couldn't even interpret his own face out. Your eyes were half lidded, beginning to lose its shine as they trailed away from his face to focus on something above him. Terrified, Adler cups your cheek and makes you look back at him.

"Stay with me, [L/N]."

"I think… I need a rain check on that date of ours."

This wasn't happening.

Fuck, fuck!

“Of course. I'll take you wherever you want. Just… Just stay awake until we get to the hospital?” Adler clammers, clutching your hand tighter. "Can you do that for me?"

"Yeah. I'll try."

"You can sleep when we get th—"

"Mhm..."

No.

"Bell?"

Your eyes were closed, and despite everything you must have gone through, you gave off a serene expression, the corners of your mouth upturned slightly. 

Adler feels your hand become heavy, losing its strength. He wasn't ready for this.

"Bell?" his voice cracks. "No, you can't— You can't fucking die on me Bell!"

He expected you to flinch at his tone, like you used to, but didn't budge. His heart dropped, desperation clawing at him. If there was one thing he feared the most, it was this. 

What the fuck am I doing?

"Come on, c'mon…"

Adler swears profusely as he unbuckles his equipment in a rush, letting the orange scarf around his neck free. He rips it off and bundles it, pressing the mass against your stomach. You didn't even grimace. The bright orange turned dark as it absorbed whatever substance it could.

"Ossou!" Adler screams into his earpiece. "Where's the fucking medic?!"

They had to get you out. Away from the mall, into the hospital. They'll treat you there. You can get a blood transfusion. Fucking take his own blood if they had to— just ANYTHING to keep you alive.

There was still time...

Right?

#wow bell you really pulled a soap huh #i would have written the knife going to stitch's eye but then there's too much eye shit as is so that was just pushing it #call of duty x reader #russell adler x reader #adler x reader #russell adler x bell #bo:cw #cod black ops cold war #black ops cold war #call of duty #fanfic #bell #russell adler #abcd briefing #anyways this chapter took so fucking long to finish cause uhh yeah so much crap happened #text

[bennwriting]

Cat and Mouse

Fallout: Part 2 of 2 (for now) This is supposed to be part of a larger work, but these two chapters are all I don't hate so far.

When I woke up, he had pulled the sheet up over us and moved his head up to his pillow, but he was mostly in the same position. Arm still around me, though I’d rolled onto my side. I watched him sleep for a little while, peaceful and relaxed. 

I had no idea what time it was, but the soft light peeking through the blinds suggested either dusk or dawn. Either way, I was hungry. We’d skipped dinner in favor of getting naked and then sleeping it off. So I carefully eased out from under his arm, cleaned myself up a little in his bathroom, stole a t-shirt from one of his drawers, and went to figure out whether I was making dinner or breakfast.

Dinner, as it turned out. It had only been a couple of hours since we fell asleep. I rummaged through his kitchen for what I could put together and got to work. 

I was just about to go wake him when he shuffled into the kitchen, sleepy-eyed and adorable, hair going in every direction, in just a pair of shorts. 

“I smell food. What time is it?”

“8:15. I was starving. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not. You know what’s mine is yours. Whatcha makin?”

“I baked those pork chops you had in the fridge and made some pasta. You wanna throw a salad together?”

“Perfect. I’ll grab some wine too.”

“Oh fancy!”

He just laughed and went off to find a bottle before coming back to make the salad. Before we sat down at the bar to eat, he wrapped me up in a big hug. 

“Thank you. For dinner. And everything.”

“You’re so, so welcome.” I smiled up at him. 

He kissed my forehead and let me go, and we enjoyed a quiet, relaxed dinner together. After we cleaned up the kitchen, Jamie smiled bashfully at me. 

“I was thinking of getting in the hot tub. What do you think?”

“I think I didn’t bring my suit.”

“Oh. Um. You could go in in that … or go without? No one will see but me.”

I smiled at him. “Jamie Benn. Are you suggesting we go skinny dipping in your back yard?”

“Well. I was suggesting you could. But yeah, if it makes you feel better about it, I could too.”

“Ok I will. And you can if you want. Up to you.”

“I will. It’ll be fun. Look at me, having fun.” He plastered the most ridiculous, hilarious, fake-beyond-belief smile on his face, and I lost it. Which was apparently the desired effect because it was followed by a genuine, open-mouthed, tongue-out, dimpled laugh. 

When we’d stopped cracking up, he grabbed my hand and led me out to the hot tub, then left me to undress while he turned on the lights and jets. When he turned back around, I was still standing there watching him. 

“Change your mind?”

“No I just … was waiting for you I guess.”

“Well I was trying to give you a head start,” he smiled. “All I’ve got is shorts.”

“Can you um, go first?”

“What are you shy all of a sudden?”

I looked down at my feet. 

“Heyyy hey no, I was kidding.” He wrapped me up in a hug. ”Mouse, I’m the shy one around here. Quit trying to steal my thing.”

I giggled into his chest. “I could never.”

Bunching up the back of the shirt, he looked into my eyes. “Can I?” 

I nodded and lifted my arms as he pulled it over my head and tossed it on a chair. 

“There, we’re even now. You good?” 

I laughed. “Yeah, I’m good.”

We finished undressing together and giggled like teenagers as we stepped into the hot tub and sank into the water.

I sighed. “Ok yeah that feels really good.”

“Yeah it does.”

I still felt more exposed than him. Tried scooting further down into the water, not comfortable. Crossed my arms over my chest, felt awkward. Jamie must’ve noticed the squirming. 

“Hey Mouse? Come sit by me?”

I smiled and moved over to his side of the hot tub. He pulled me up against his side, rested his arm behind me, hand on my shoulder, kissed my temple. I looked up, smiling, and he turned toward me. One thumb traced the daisy chain tattoo up my arm and over my shoulder. 

“Have I mentioned how much I love this?”

“The tat or the skinny dipping?”

A smile. “Both.” Lips touched mine — so, so softly until I reached up to pull him closer. A deeper kiss, my legs draped over his lap. Hand drifting up the outside of my thigh, tugging at my hip, running up my spine to the base of my skull. 

Emotional and intense but soft. Two people who never expected this, both hyper-aware of their own issues but willing to just go with the moment. 

When we finally stopped — hours later? no concept of time — I was totally relaxed. We rested our foreheads together for a moment, both smiling, then I scooted further into his lap and nestled into his chest. He leaned back against the side of the hot tub but kept his arms around me, one hand on my thigh and one rubbing softly on my back. We were quiet for a bit, both enjoying the closeness. 

“This is what I miss the most about being in a relationship,” I sighed. “Shit, sorry, didn’t mean to bring that up.”

“It’s ok,” he said softly. “I miss this too. A lot. Fuck, you know what? I haven’t been in a real relationship in like two years. We were just friends who used to be together that still texted and fucked occasionally.”

“Ouch. I mean, neither have I, but we had the sense to officially end it two years ago.”

“We probably should have. It was doomed the minute she moved to LA.”

“Would you if you had it to do over?”

Heavy sigh. “Probably not. That probably makes me an idiot.”

“No, it makes you loyal and in love. Maybe a little hopelessly so, but not an idiot. Would it have hurt less if you’d ended it then?”

“I don’t know. Maybe? We’d have done less damage to each other. But we wouldn’t know whether we gave up on something that could’ve worked. I’d probably always wonder.”

“Well then maybe this is how it needed to go down. You can make a clean break now.”

“Yeah. Shit, I still don’t want it to be over. Even after everything that happened. But I can’t do the long distance thing anymore. It’s too hard.”

“So what do you miss the most?”

“God, she made me laugh. She’s crazy. She dragged me out to so much stupid shit. But I had fun. Even at fucking Disneyland, my nightmare. We still had fun.”

“I could not believe she got you on that ferris wheel.”

“Me neither. Pretty sure I almost died.”

“Oh lord, you’re so dramatic.”

“I swear to god my heart stopped.”

“Such a baby.”

“Yup. Sure am. Mum’s baby.”

I giggled. “That too.”

“So what really happened with you and Kevin? Did he not want to move to Colorado?”

“No, I um, kinda moved to Colorado to get away from him.”

“You what? Did he hurt you? Do I need to beat his ass?”

“Noooo no no nothing like that. I just thought it would be easier. If we didn’t see each other. Like at friends’ parties or the grocery store or whatever. I think I … really hurt him. When I broke it off.”

“Oh. Why did you break it off then?”

“It … wasn’t fair to him. That I didn’t want to, y’know.”

“Ohhhh. So wait, you never had sex? You were together like two years.”

“Two years and one day, actually. And yes, we had sex. But I um, didn’t …”

He waited for me to finish the thought, and when I didn’t, he kissed my head and hugged me. 

“It’s ok. We can change the subject if you want.”

I took a deep breath. “No, I don’t mind. You wanted me to explain more anyway. That’s as good a place to start as any.”

“Do you wanna go inside? Would that be more comfortable?”

“Actually, no, this is good. I like the … contact. As long as I’m not cutting off the circulation to your legs.”

“No, you’re perfect. Featherweight,” he laughed. “And I’m enjoying this. Holding you. Feels good.”

“Yeah it does. So … yes, Kevin and I had sex. Although not until we’d been together like six months. I uhh … never really wanted to. It’s not that he was bad at it. He did all the right things. I just wasn’t into it. Which was completely unfair to him. So I broke it off.”

“Did he know? That you’re … what did you call it again?”

“Gray-a? Yeah, but he didn’t really get it. Which is understandable. It doesn’t necessarily make sense if you don’t feel it yourself. We did talk about it though. And he really did try to understand. But he thought he could fix it.”

“So it’s not something you can fix, right? Like it’s just who you are?”

“Exactly. It’s like being gay. It’s not a disease like depression, and it’s not a hormone imbalance. Sometimes it does feel like I’m broken. But there’s not a cause. And it’s not all bad. It just … complicates things.”

“Ok so explain again what it means. Like I’m 12 years old.”

I laughed. “Ok. I’m gonna oversimplify the crap out of this or you're gonna be even more confused and probably bored senseless. Like 1% of the population identifies as asexual, which means we don’t experience sexual attraction. So say a really hot chick walks by, totally your type. Your body reacts. Your brain reacts. You get that I’d-hit-that feeling. Aces don’t experience that.”

“Never? For anyone?”

“Well, straight-up asexual people don’t, no. This is where it gets complicated. So there’s a huge spectrum of asexuality. Straight-up aces don’t experience any kind of sexual attraction. But there’s a massive gray area between that and normal sexuality.”

“Which is where you are. So gray-a.”

“Yup. In my case, I only feel it with someone I really care about, and I need a trigger of some kind. Like cheering you up today. It’s a physical reaction to emotion, I guess is the best way to put it.”

“That’s … a really limited set of circumstances.”

“Yeah. It is. And my life would be so much simpler if I worked the way you do. But here I am.”

“So next week, you probably won’t feel the same way?” 

“Oh maybe still next week. It’s lasted longer than that before. But next year? Probably not.”

“Ok I can’t really wrap my brain around that. But I get that it’s not something you can change. Sorry it complicates your life.”

“Yeah me too. But I’m used to it. It’s better now that I know I’m not a freak. Well, not the only freak.”

“I don’t think you’re a freak.” He hugged me close, and I hugged him back. 

“Thanks, Jame.”

“So did you ever feel it for Kevin or were you just …”

“Going through the motions? Yeah, pretty much. I mean I thought he was good looking. And I did love him. But it never translated to wanting to rip his clothes off.”

He smirked. “You wanted to rip my clothes off?”

“Not literally, ya shit. But I damn sure did wanna get you naked. And by the way, I’m a little pissed at you for never sharing that panther tat. It’s gorgeous.”

“Thank you. But it’s like your mouse. It’s … private. For me. I like sharing it with you now though. Thank you for sharing this with me.” 

He softly touched the mouse on my ribs, then let his hand drift up to cup my breast as he pulled me into a kiss. 

He ran his hand over my body, everywhere he could reach. Looked quietly, earnestly into my eyes. “Thank you for sharing all of this with me. It means a lot.”

“To me too.” 

“You good to stay out here a while longer?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.”

He pulled me against his chest and kissed the top of my head. We were quiet for a long time, enjoying the feeling of being in each other’s arms and the warm water swirling around us. Occasionally one of us would trail fingertips across the other’s body, press lips to skin, breathe in the other’s scent. But mostly we were just still and content. 

Jamie, ever the worrier, was the first to speak. “So what happens after tonight?”

“What, between us?”

“Yeah.”

“What do you want to happen?”

“I don’t know, honestly.”

“Well, we’re still friends, of course.”

“Obviously.”

“We don’t need to be more if you don’t want.”

A long pause. “What if I want?”

“Do you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe?”

“I’m happy to do more of this if that’s what you need.”

“What about you? What do you need?”

“You to be honest with me. You’re obviously not ready to start a new relationship.”

“No. Definitely not. But I already have a relationship with you. Can we just add the other part into that?”

“What, friends with benefits?”

“I hate that phrase, but yeah, something like that, I guess.”

“You know I can’t promise my um, physical reaction will continue.”

“I know. But if it does?”

I sat back so I could look him in the eyes. 

“We need to set some ground rules.”

“Yeah, sure, definitely. I’m obviously not in a great place right now, and the last thing I want to do is hurt you or fuck up our friendship.”

“Ok.” I thought for a bit. “First things first. I’m not your toy to be used when you have needs and then put back in a box. If you need me, you ask, and if I’m up for it, we go. But if I’m not, you can’t get pissy about it. I want to still be friends like we were before, not just fuck buddies. Ok?”

“Absolutely. I don’t want to ever just use you. If I wanted that, I’d find some puck bunny to fuck. I’m not entitled to your body or your friendship. I’ve gotta be worthy of both.”

“The same goes for me. I’m not going to use you either. I won’t ever ask for anything you’re not ready for. You don’t need to take me to fancy dinners or buy me things. We’re not dating. There’s no pressure.”

“I do want to take you to nice dinners, but only because I like good food and I like your company, not because I’m trying to impress you.”

I laughed. “Ok, fair enough. But let me pay once in a while.”

“You can buy at the places that aren’t stupid expensive. I’m not letting you pick up the check at Nobu.”

I smiled. “I can deal with that. That place is way too rich for my blood.”

“It’s so good though.”

“I should hope so!”

“We’ll go soon.”

“Ok.”

“Anything else?”

“When you’re ready to move on, you tell me. I don’t wanna get in the way of your future.”

“You’ll be the first to know. Fuck, you’ll probably know before I do.”

We both laughed. It was so true. 

“Ok. I think that’s about it.”

“Yeah.” Big, sincere eyes searched my face for doubts. “Mouse, if you ever don’t want me, tell me. I won’t take it personally, I promise. And if I’m stupid and an ass about it, smack me. Don’t ever do anything you’re not 100% into just because it’s what I want. What you want is just as important.”

“Deal.” It came out more breathless than I intended. 

Soft lips on mine, gentle and sweet, and soft hands moving up my shoulders to cradle my face. When we’d had our fill, we rested our foreheads together with soft smiles. 

“Getting sleepy, Chubbs. Bed?”

“Mmm, yeah, bed sounds good.”

As I followed him out of the hot tub, I got an up-close view of his ass, and I tripped on the last step. I gracelessly – barely – caught myself before I face-planted on the pool deck, but it was too late for my dignity as he spun around and saw me stumble. 

“Oh my god, are you ok? I’m so sorry, I should’ve helped you out.”

“No, it’s fine, I’m fine, just uhh, clumsy. Not your fault.” Totally your fault, I thought. Your ass’s fault. Jesus Christ, put a warning label on that thing. I couldn’t look him in the face, but I was having trouble finding an appropriate alternative. Everywhere I looked made me blush harder. 

“Mouse? Are you sure you’re ok?” I could hear the smile in his voice, damn him. “You’re awfully pink.”

“Hot tub. Hot water, right?” I stammered as I picked up my clothes, trying not to get them too wet. “Plus I just almost ate concrete, so that’s embarrassing.”

“Ok, c’mon, let's get you inside and make sure you didn’t hurt yourself.”

A towel seemed to wrap itself around my body, and a hand at the small of my back — ready to catch me? push me? — somehow made me feel comforted and uncomfortable at the same time. But I let him guide me through the patio doors into his bathroom, which oddly was the first time I noticed he had wrapped a towel around his waist as well. It sat low on his hips, and if I thought his bare ass was distracting …

“Mouse? You there? Earth to Mollie.”

“Hmm? What?”

“I said let’s have a shower and rinse off the pool water before bed, eh?”

“Oh, right, yeah, good idea.”

“Hey,” soft hands again, lifting my chin to an even softer voice, “are you sure you’re ok? Didn’t hit your head, did you?” Gentle fingers pushed my hair away from my face, concerned eyes looked me over for any visible damage. 

“No, no I caught myself.”

“Ok so what’s wrong? You’re spacing out on me. Did I do something?”

“No … well yes, but …”

“Oh god, what did I do?

“Nothing bad! I just, um, you, uh …” I could feel the blood rushing to my face. 

“Whatever it is, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

“No, don’t be sorry, it’s fine, it’s nothing. Oh my god, just say it, Mollie, Jesus Christ. I came face to face with your ass stepping out of the hot tub and promptly forgot how to walk, ok? That thing should be registered as a lethal weapon. It almost killed me.”

Now it was his turn to blush scarlet — and then try really hard to stifle the belly laugh that followed. 

“Sorry,” he wheezed Canadianly between giggles, “I swear I’m not laughing at you.”

“You’re a terrible liar, Jamie,” I deadpanned before bursting into giggles of my own. “Shut up! It’s the first good look I’ve gotten at that thing. It’s very distracting! You’re very distracting.” I poked at his abs, which were still tensed with laughter, and hooked my finger into the front of his towel. “This whole look is very, very … distracting.” I trailed off — distractedly — and ran my other hand up his chest, letting my own towel fall while I tugged at his. 

His giggles quickly subsided, and he stepped into me, hands running up my sides, smiling when I dropped his towel on the floor. 

“Looks like you’ve got me naked again. What are you gonna do with me?”

“Mmmmmmmmmmmmm wash you,” I giggled and walked over to turn on the water, leaving him cracking up in the middle of the bathroom. 

When I stepped into the shower, he joined me, still chuckling softly, and wrapped his arms around me from behind. 

“You always keep me on my toes.”

“I just needed to hear that laugh.”

“Me too. Thanks.”

I turned around in his arms and looked up into his sweet, smiling face, and I couldn’t resist reaching up to run a hand over one dimpled cheek. He looked so much lighter than he had when I got there. Not cured by any means but definitely not as lost. 

“This smile looks good on you.”

This blush was soft. “You put it there.”

I smiled back and pulled him down into a tender kiss, which he deepened. Not a steamy, sexy kiss, but one full of feeling. 

We washed — ourselves and each other — and headed to bed, where he spooned up behind me and kissed my cheek. 

“Good night, Mouse.”

“Good night, Chubbs.”

We’d worry about the fallout later.

—

daisy chain tat

mouse tat

#jamie benn #jamie benn fanfic #jamie benn fanfiction #cat and mouse fic #hockey fanfiction #hockey rpf #asexual character #gray asexual