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returnofnonya · 1 year

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From Thief to House Husband Part 2

In just 3 days I had grown attached to my new life. I had literally billions of dollars to spend, a mansion to explore, luxury cars to drive, and a wife who seemed to be gone quite often. Two of “my” sons were constantly out and about making friends and hanging out with them.

There was only one problem; Adam.

The eldest son of the Smith fortune. It appeared that he peaked in high school, and didn’t attend college. He spent his mornings in his gym and the rest of the day lazing about at home and inviting his so-called friends over. Rick may not have been able to see it, but as someone who used to rely on flirting with men who looked like they had more than $50 in their pockets, I knew a gold digger when I saw one.

Adam’s constant presence in the house meant I couldn’t have special company over, and I had to rely on the memory of sex with Ajax, a name I had learned a whole day after I let him fuck me. I kept wondering how I was supposed to work around this issue, then I remembered my special case of possession vials, and a good friend of mine who would enjoy the life of luxury.

So I got some cash and went to the local county jail, putting on my best remorseful face. I told the police that I was so regretful that my actions sent a shoplifter into cardiac arrest, causing his death. (I had learned soon after the hookup that my body passed away without anyone to inhabit it). I explained that the arresting officer had mentioned the hoodlum had a friend he often committed these crimes together with and wanted to help him find a better path in life, so I paid my friend Roy’s bail.

I waited outside of the entrance, sitting on the hood of my new Mercedes with a smirk on my face as Roy walked out, looking more puzzled than ever. “Look bro, I don’t need pity. Especially not from the guy who killed Mateo.” He stepped towards me angrily and I couldn’t help but laugh a bit. “Since when did the wealthy ever give a damn about us, Roy? Maybe those possession vials were worth something after all.” I winked and then walked around the car, getting into the driver’s side. I enjoyed the dumbfounded look on his face and smugly asked, “You getting in or did you want to hang around in that cell a bit more?” He scuffled into the car and we got going.

Before he could ask his barrage of questions I answered, “This basic looking bitch caught me shoplifting at Norm’s. I knew it would be my felony offense, so I panicked and pulled the vial out while concentrating on him. Next thing I knew, I was Rick Smith, multibillionaire and house husband. No more stares when I’m in any store but Dollar Tree, people worship the ground I walk on now! But I need your help.” He just grinned dumbly and nodded. “Anything for you, hermano. The billions are just a nice perk.” We both laughed a bit before I decided it was time to get serious again.

“He’s got three sons, all adults now. His oldest is Adam, about 24. The other two are social butterflies, rarely in the house except to sleep nowadays. Adam though, he treats the house like it’s his palace and invites a bunch of his fake friends over all the time. Total peaked in high school type guy. An easy mark in my old body, but now that he’s my son he’s preventing me from…enjoying this body to its fullest extent.” Roy raised an eyebrow at this. “And how am I supposed to help? Fake date him or something?” I rolled my eyes and chuckled. “Again, rich white kid who peaked in high school. He wouldn’t be caught dead with you, no. Fortunately I’ve still got a few vials, if you catch my drift.” A wide smirk crept across Roy’s face. “Yeah, yeah I do Dad.”

Soon enough, everything was in position. Roy was hiding in the kitchen pantry while Adam’s moocher friends were finally leaving. I pretended to be washing some dishes when Adam approached, throwing the plan off course a bit since I was just going to have Roy stealthily take over once the friends were gone. “Hey Dad, can we talk?” He asked, forcing me to put on Rick’s stupid smile. “Of course kiddo, what’s up?”

“You’ve been acting kind of…off lately?”

Oh boy…

“What do you mean?”

“You worship mom, but you forgot her name the other day. And you’re not as nice to my friends, or..us. You seem distant kind of. Plus, maybe I’m just paranoid, but I feel like your smile has been different lately.”

Fuck. I knew his dumb goody two shoes smile was important, so I practiced Rick’s smile based on his photos a lot. Guess I hasn’t gotten it down perfectly. Wait, why am I worried? Adam won’t exist in a few seconds.

“To be perfectly honest with you, loser, I’m not your Dad. I’m Mateo, the shoplifter who mysteriously died a few days ago.” I smirked, Adam’s eyes widening with fear as he backed away. “W-what? Dad, this is a weird joke.” I just laughed, stepping closer to him. “This isn’t a joke. I tried pretending to give a fuck about you, but your constant couch mooching has gotten on my last nerve. I’m trying to have some guys over to break your dad in, and I can’t do that with a witness! That’s why I bailed my hermano, or should I say, hijo, Roy out of prison today. He’s going to use the same serum I used to steal your dad’s body to steal yours. Then no one will know that you both are gone.”

Adam’s eyes darted all over the place, trying to find Roy. The cabinet creaked open and he saw Roy’s eyes for just a second before he faded to black. Roy had consumed the vial, and by the time Adam saw him it was too late, the possession was complete. He laughed and smiled widely, looking down at his new hands. “Holy shit! This body feels amazing! So fit and tight…” he started to grope Adam’s tits, moaning out in pleasure. “Heh, enjoy it son. I’ve got to get rid of the evidence, feel free to explore your new life in the meantime.”

I picked up Roy’s now vacant body, carrying it to a box we had designated out in the pool house in the backyard. It would stay there until we figured out a disposal method.

I came back in a few minutes later and found Roy standing in the living room, wearing Adam’s old football gear with a wide smirk.

“Hey, Dad.” He said seductively, walking to me now. “I wanted to thank you for all that you’ve done for me.” He said and grinned from ear to ear. I couldn’t help but find myself enamored with his getup. “How…where?” He just chuckled as he unbuttoned my shirt. “When you said he peaked in high school, my mind wandered to one thing. Thankfully, my assumption was right.” He said, kissing my neck and pulling my shirt open, slowly descending down my body, littering it with kisses and earning pleasured moans from me. “Fuck…I couldn’t be happier to have you for a son.” I chuckled, watching as he got down on his knees and pulled my cock out, wasting no time and sliding it into his mouth. “Fuck! Boy’s got a perfect set of lips~” I moaned out happily.

It was hard, but I tore my eyes away from Roy’s new ones to look at my surroundings. We were in the kitchen, which according to Rick’s photo album was likely his favorite spot to spend family time. He was quite the chef and apparently had made the candy the security guard was stuffing his face with the day of the possession. Now, his oldest son was blowing him off right there.

“God…tell me you stretched yourself while I was gone. I don’t want to wait to bust that pretty little straight hole open.” I said, looking back into Roy’s eyes. He just winked and then moaned on my cock, clouding my mind with the pleasure. “God fucking damn you’re such a slut…” I moaned out. Once he felt that I had enough spit he stood up, laying on his back on the kitchen table and pulling his compression pants down to reveal a white jockstrap, and a plug vibrating in his hole! “For one of his gold digger girls. A cheesy present from a straight fuck boy apparently, but we’re making it work for us.” Roy always cased every place we stole from. He could read people and environments very well, no one would know Adam was gone.

“Fuck, I could kiss you.” I growled, grabbing the base of the plug and pulling it out, earning a whimpery moan from him. “How about we do that first part first? Then we can kiss.” His smug expression looked perfect on Adam’s face. I wasted no time, pulling his legs over my shoulder and waist over the edge of the table. I slid into him with ease, leaning down and pressing my lips against his. He reciprocated with joy and I started to thrust the way I knew he loved it; hard and fast.

The sound of our skin slapping filled the kitchen and our tongues ravaged each other inside of his mouth, our moans muffled inside of them. It didn’t take long for sweat to build up, I was giving it my all and he was taking it like a pro, his body’s previous owner had built it for endurance. As we fucked the table wobbled underneath us, not built for the ferocity of our sex. Everything about this was so fucking hot that both of us were throbbing quickly.

I pulled back from the kiss, caressing his eyes and smirking. “We’ll have to work on these bodies’ sexual stamina. I think that’s a good way to spend father and son time together.” I chuckled as he nodded. “Couldn’t agree more. In the meantime, how about you show me the way you and mom made me?” He winked. God, seeing Adam’s face portray Roy’s demeanor drove me crazy. I thrusted one final time, roaring as I shot a load deep inside of him and the table gave out, collapsing underneath us as Roy shot his load high up into the air. As we reached the ground it arched, landing on the top of my head.

Once we had a second to gather our bearings and realize we just broke the dinner table and he had cum on the back of my head in a missionary position we started laughing. “Fuck, no more shoplifting, no more gold digging.” He said, panting as he looked around at the mansion.

“Life is perfect.” I said, smiling widely as I basked in the afterglow of our first father and son bonding session. “It’s all uphill from here.”

#male body possession #male possession #father son #revenge

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jeremy-ken-anderson · 11 months

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Garfield Without Garfield, Isekai

I was watching Death March to the Parallel World Rhapsody - you can tell it's an isekai based on a lite novel due to the mouthful of a name - and it struck me that outside of a few situations where bananas OP capacity is required the entire story would be better if the protagonist weren't in it.

Like. How much more fun is it to have a mysteriously growing crowd of women with a variety of superpowers who aren't a harem?

Also we wouldn't have the whole "everyone's calling a guy Master because he never bothered to un-enslave them out of fear that they might feel a little awkward following him around if they weren't legally obligated to do so" thing. Manga-ka storytellers looking at isekai worlds as an excuse for a slave fetish has definite "hyperviolent version of Batman" vibes. Quit using the thing to lampshade your own weird desires, dude. We see you under there.

Sorry, tangent. It's another in that "wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't everywhere" pile of problems with *checks notes* the entire goddamn Isekai genre.

Anyway Death March spends a lot of effort on giving the supporting girls stuff to do. Which is good, but it also highlights how interesting it would be if the characters were dealing with appropriate challenges. And we could do that! Just remove the character who is level 310 in a world that scales up to level 60 and has so many skill points that he's literally allowed to go down a menu and give himself whatever skill the author wants in the middle of conversations or fights. It is SO lazy.

Seriously this series is so much more interesting without this guy in the middle of it. Also there's something kind of amoral about how he's got all this power but he's devoted foremost to keeping his power hidden - not to protect anyone's identity, but just he can continue to take it easy and treat this world as a resort spa situation while people die around him. And the whole slave harem thing.

Imagine instead of him freeing* some slaves (*They become his slaves instead, but he's nice to them so it's like he freed them! They're just magically forbidden to ignore his orders. It's fine. It's fine!) the first three slave characters free themselves in the course of the demon dungeon, and get a bit of spare cash and use it to buy up the other two. One of them could wistfully explain her tragic backstory and the other could not get it (but we'd get it, becaue it's a reincarnation isekai backstory!), and the five of them could help with the city defense, and the five of them could cope with the elf's arrival and and and.

All the cool stuff that happens with the protagonist there is as cool or cooler if it happens in the absence of someone whose presence negates stakes.

#isekai #death march rhapsody #anime #review

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ikeepbookkeeping · 2 years

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Creating a Budget for Your Business

As a small business owner, you have to figure out a lot of things you’ve never done before. One of them is how to create a business budget—and that can be intimidating, especially when you’re just starting out. How, exactly, do you know where to find the right financial information—let alone learn the business finance terminology—and put all that data together in the right order?

Small business budgets are empowering. They give you the knowledge and insight to eliminate wasteful spending and get to profitability faster. A well-planned small business budget will:

Show you how many sales you need to cover costs (Break Even)

Figure out how much money you can reinvest in the business

Find out when you can afford to hire help

When setting a business budget, you need good numbers. Don’t guess at what’s coming in and what’s going out. You could be making assumptions that just aren’t true. Take the time to look into your accounts and dig out the real figures. It might sound like hard work but it’s worth it.

Small business budgets are easier to make than you think

Budgeting has a lot of baggage. It sounds boring, complicated and even daunting. But there’s no need to put it off. There are just three broad sets of figures to get your head around and they’re really simple.

Setting a budget is part of becoming financially literate, and it’s a vital skill. The better you can ‘read’ the figures relating to your business, the more successful you’ll be. And you don’t need to become an accountant to do it.

The numbers that matter when setting a budget

So, which figures are important for your small business budget? Fortunately you don’t need to consider everything. These groups of figures clearly tell the story of your finances:

1. Profit & Loss report

This report tells you at a glance whether you’re making money or losing it. To do that, you’ll subtract your expenses from your income.

Income (revenue): How much money are you generating from sales of your products or services? It helps to break these into:

Recurring income: regular and reliable revenue from client retainers and contract work

Expected income: predictions of future income. This is a forecast of what your business is likely to earn.

Expenses (costs): How much money are you spending on business costs such as staff, raw materials and marketing? As with income, it helps to break these into:

Recurring expenditure: your monthly payments for rent, utilities, payroll and so on

Sundry costs: occasional payments for office supplies, client entertainment expenses and other items

It can be easy to overlook some of the costs of doing business. To help capture them all, consider thing like:

Depreciation: business assets, such as computers and equipment, lose value as they get older. That should be counted as a cost.

Overheads: make sure you don’t overlook fixed costs such as rent or energy (eg, electricity, gas, transport fuel)

Payroll: the total cost of employing your staff – including insurance, taxes and benefits.

Debt repayments: regular outgoings to repay loans or other business investments

If you have more revenue coming in than costs going out, you’re making a profit. If it’s the other way around, you’re making a loss. A loss is okay in certain situations but losses aren’t sustainable over the long term.

If you make a profit, think carefully about what to do with it. Could you:

Drive bigger profits by reinvesting in the business?

Save money by paying down debts quicker?

Keep cash in reserve to ride out future revenue dips (this is an especially big consideration for seasonal businesses)?

There are many ways to treat a profit and setting a business budget will help you decide on the right strategy.

Having a budget is like turning on a light in a dark room. You’ll be able to see the obstacles to your business and find your way around them.

2. Balance Sheet

This tells you what your business is worth. It’s the difference between what you own and what you owe. On the good side of the balance sheet you’ll find:

the value of the assets owned by your business, such as work tools or real estate

cash you have in the bank

invoices that have been sent to clients but have not yet been paid

All of these are business assets. On the other side of the balance sheet are your liabilities, which include:

expenses that have been incurred but not yet paid, such as bills from suppliers

taxes that are due to be paid in the near future

loans or other business debts that you have

The balance sheet shows your assets minus your liabilities.

3. Trial balance

A trial balance is another very useful accounting concept. It shows all your debits, credits, assets and liabilities on a single document. In other words, it represents the entire balance of your business accounts.

With all this information at your fingertips, you’re ready to start setting a budget.

Creating your first small business budget

Now that you have all your current financial information in black and white, you can create a forward-looking budget. It will tell you how much you:

spend running the business

can invest to improve the business

can pay yourself (and any shareholders)

A budget will also give you a much better idea of what your cash flow will look like. This will help you avoid running out of money and getting into a tight spot with creditors. Your budget will also show you where you can make savings.

Testing different scenarios – what if…?

Once you have a basic small business budget, you can start playing with the numbers.

What if sales go up by 10 percent?

What if you lose your biggest client?

What if you negotiate lower rent?

You can try dozens of different variables here. Many businesses use this type of exercise to find out when they can afford to hire staff. You can too, by adding payroll to your costs and seeing how that affects your profit.

You can create several versions of the budget to cover many variables. Experiment as much as you like and see what the outcomes look like.

An option for painless budgeting

Now that you know how to go about setting a budget, there’s nothing stopping you from getting started – except, perhaps, the effort. Sifting through financial records to pull the data you need can be gruelling. Even so, it’s best to avoid shortcuts such as estimating costs.

If you’re looking for a quicker and less error-prone way to build a small business budget, consider accounting software. When set up right, an accounting system will automatically record all your income and expenditure so you don’t have to manually gather the information.

Smart software can also show your income and expenditure in graphs and charts. That makes it much easier to spot trends and see how your business is performing.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

Setting a budget isn’t complicated but it can still help to involve an expert. A bookkeeper or accountant can double-check the numbers and help you make realistic predictions about business growth, upcoming expenses, and tax exposure. They can also advise you on what to do if the actual numbers deviate from the predicted ones.

Bookkeepers and accountants charge for their time. But when it comes to business budgeting they will often save you far more than they cost. So if in doubt, ask one for help.

Budgets put you in control

The real advantage of setting a budget is that it helps you make strategic business decisions. Not sure what’s going to happen over the next six months? Try a variety of different scenarios and see what numbers emerge.

Having a budget also means you’re able to seek finance. So if you find you need a loan for something, you have everything you need to go and apply for one right away.

But most of all, a budget gives you more certainty and confidence. You get a clearer picture of the state of your business and you know where you stand. It’s like turning on a light in a dark room. You’ll be able to see the obstacles and find your way around them.

And always remember that a small business budget isn’t set in stone. As your situation changes, you can make changes to your figures and see what it means for your profit.

If you are considering assistance with your business bookkeeping, speak with one of our team members today.

#bookkeeping

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