#back at it with the long winded analysis | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

i-am-literally-deranged · 2 years

Text

I have long said that Hitori is the most well written character in Hatoful, and I'm right. But most well written ARC goes squarely to Sakuya. Sakuya is possibly the most dynamic character in the game. Sakuya on day one of the game, and Sakuya in the epilogue of BBL are entirely different people.

That's actually part of why I don't usually talk about him all that much. Sakuya has a complete character arc. That's not something that you can really say about the rest of the cast. They all definitely HAVE arcs, but one of the things that keeps me constantly coming back to the series is how none of them feel quite complete. Like they're all still hanging open, their arcs stopped just short of coming around to their proper conclusion. Characters in Hatoful Boyfriend are often just left bleeding. You watch them grow and get torn down by the world around them, and then they come to stop, still hanging and bleeding, neither patched up nor bled out. And it's this incompleteness that makes it stick in my brain. I keep searching for that last note needed to close out the movement, and it's just not there.

Hitori's story is a revenge tragedy, but we never reach the revenge, or the natural conclusion of the tragedy. Both he and Shuu are alive at the end of the story, with nowhere to go. They've backed themselves into a bloody corner, and the story has just left them there. There isn't a resolution. Their narratives can really only end in death, and they don't die at the end, so instead it's left open and incomplete.

Ryouta just gets slowly torn down throughout the narrative. Misfortune after misfortune pile onto him, and he slowly runs ragged. Hatoful Boyfriend is chronicling his descent. From the most normal, cheery member of the cast, to the most broken and miserable. But at the end of BBL, he's just left waiting. Waiting to die or for someone to come back with a cure. Left in a sort of eternal stasis. He's left open and bleeding, without a proper conclusion either way, hopeful or tragic. In Holiday Star he keeps being pushed to confront his abandonment issues, and he just keeps refusing to do so. He never really confronts them despite how many times he's faced with these issues, and again, we're left without a real satisfying resolution to his character arc. He goes most of the way through an arc, and then stops just short of completing it.

Shuu's story is this grand tale of hubris. He so clearly lines up his own downfall with every decision he makes. From how many enemies he makes, to how much he underestimates those enemies. Following Shuu is like slowly going up a rollercoaster headed towards the big drop. It's all build up for either his grand plan going off in this spectacular act of genius, or else his great failure, going out in a big blaze of glory, falling into all of the holes he left for himself, that he thought were too small and unimportant to worry about. And the way he ends is... Neither of those things. His terrible decisions do come back to haunt him, but the price he pays for it is ultimately so small compared to all that he's done. It's underwhelming, and leaves me feeling like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, and for him to finally get his dues, and it just never comes. It's all build up, and then a sudden jarring stop just short of the grand crescendo promised.

Yuuya's arc is a lot like Ryouta's. It's a descent. It's his unraveling. Unlike Ryouta's thought, we do see him putting some of these pieces back together, or at least trying to. The game explores a lot of the consequences of his hero complex, and he fully faces the consequences of his act of revenge, and spends the rest of his arc looking for redemption from this guilt he carries. It's hard to call Yuuya's story a redemption arc. Redemption is the thing he's seeking, but I don't think he's ever really condemned by the narrative even before seeking this redemption. It's more like what Yuuya's arc is about is seeking forgiveness from himself, and seeking to repair his relationship with Sakuya, which is what complicates his arc for me. If it was a straightforward quest for redemption "I took vengeance once, and I am paying for my sins. I seek to redeem my soul" then you could see him taking that scalpel for Sakuya as a conclusion. But the fact that it's never really treated by the narrative as though Yuuya's act of vengeance was actually wrong instead makes it feel less like Yuuya is seeking forgiveness from the universe, but instead like he is seeking forgiveness from himself. In which case, his self sacrifice is a step backwards. It's more of Yuuya devaluing himself, more of him prioritizing others to an extreme. If we take the egg incident to be Yuuya's biggest sin, then BBL is just him repeating those same mistakes again and again. It's him choosing Sakuya over everything to a destructive degree. He chops up Hiyoko's body and covers up her death, to protect Sakuya. He throws away his own life, to protect Sakuya. It's just a loop of Yuuya doing something terrible in Sakuya's name. There's no redemption found in there, only a further spiral. And further reinforcing Yuuya's guilt, and self hatred, and this steady creeping towards the place Hitori is in. And he doesn't really deviate from this path. He continues onward, repeating his mistakes, and slipping towards the same cliff that Hitori plunged off of. Again, it's left unresolved. He keeps starting to learn, starting to heal, starting to confront his flaws, and then not quite overcoming them.

I'm.... Honestly not sure what Anghel's arc is? I know it's about coming to terms with his complicated identity, and being understood by the people around him, but it's hard to say how much progress he really makes on those fronts? Anghel is sort of just... Perfect as he is? He serves very effectively as a plot device, and he's loveable and compelling without having an especially dynamic arc. Anghel is somewhat static, but I don't think that's really a bad thing on him. I'm not sure if he just doesn't have a whole lot going on arc wise, or if I'm just not seeing it right now, but oh well. I'd love to hear someone else give their takes on him, see if I can't find a new perspective to come at him from. But as it is he's just my funky little guy that I love so so much, but in a sort of no thoughts head empty kind of way.

Nageki is the hardest to talk about for me, which is why I saved him for last. He has so much going on. Nageki's route is famously emotionally moving. I cried for it, I think most people did. And I'm not sure exactly how to approach it from a meta perspective. Nageki is almost a sort of... Messianic figure. Nageki died to save humanity, despite all the ways that it had wronged him. You could say Nageki's arc is one of taking back power for himself. He was weak, and unable to do anything for himself or for anyone else either. He felt like a burden, and so when he found an opportunity to do something for someone, to protect people, he threw himself into it regardless of the cost. Even though it cost him his life. He made this selfless sacrifice. But while that was something of an arc of him finding power for himself, I hesitate to call it a full arc. Nageki had always been that selfless. Nageki pre-Hatoful House massacre would likely have been just as ready and willing to give his life for others as he was in the end.

Was it him losing hope then? Nageki being beaten down by the treatment he recieved at the St Pigeonations clinic? In the end succumbing to the misfortune that had haunted him all his life and killing himself? That doesn't feel right either. Nageki dying is, strangely enough, never actually a change for him. Nageki was dead from the beginning of the game. But more than that, Nageki was always going to die. From even long before the game began, Nageki had this clear path to an early death laid out before him. Nageki was ALWAYS going to die. There is no other way for him to go, this was always how it was going to be. And it's how it went. He accepted his fate, embraced it, and leaned into it. He took ahold of his incoming death for himself. It's very difficult for me to identify what exactly is going on with Nageki because it feels like he has SO MUCH going on. Nageki sits nestled at the heart of all of it. Both games orbit around him. I know that Ryouta is the unofficial main character. And I know that you can trace everything that happened in the series directly back to Ryuuji. I know that Shuu is the driving force behind the plot and that he laid out all of the pieces and players for this whole game, that it was all his doing. But Nageki feels, to me at least, like the true heart of the issue. He's your first introduction to the fact that something is truly genuinely Not Right in this world. So much of the plot is all of the living characters chasing after Nageki. Trying to unravel his secrets. Following his trail. Trying to find him. Nageki stands ahead of the crowd, several paces up, and every other character is tripping over themselves running after him.

Nageki is the axis upon which the story rotates. Hitori's entire character revolves around him. Orbits him. Ryouta's downfall is so tightly intertwined with Nageki. At the end of the day, one of Ryouta's most important roles in the plot is simply as a vessel for Nageki. It's carrying a piece if him inside of him. Ryouta's place in the narrative is sometimes as a sort of second coming if Nageki in a way. Shuu's fate was sealed the moment he chose Nageki as his victim, and he has been paying the price for that decision ever since, in little increments. Almost every character has their moment where they serve as a parallel to Nageki. The King's entire thing is RIDDLED with parallels, they are established as sort of foils to eachother. Two ghosts, two sad little birds who died unfortunate early deaths, two people that Hitori feels so responsible for, the two shadows that haunt him. And so much of Holiday Star is about how they handled this differently. How The King used his fire to draw others in and trap them, to make himself feel better and to have company in his misery. And how Nageki, the scorpion, burned himself to ash to free them. It's the scene in the lighthouse, how he was prepared to burn to death all over again. Sakuya is also often cast in parallel to Nageki as part of Yuuya and Hitori's parallels. With these two sets of brothers you have two stories of selflessness and giving as a bad thing. They're about self destruction, and living your life exclusively in service if someone else, and how unfair that can be to the person you are trying to help. How in the end, for all of Hitori's selfless sacrifice none of Nageki's wishes came true, and how for all of Yuuya's selfless sacrifice he wound up hurting Sakuya more than anyone else. And both of them, in this single minded quest, choosing one person above the entire world, leave this trail of bloody mistakes behind them. This parallel casts Nageki as Sakuya's mirror.

In a way, that's really Nageki's role. He's a mirror held up to each member of the cast. And in that reflection you see the worst of each of them. Nageki is sort of perfect, and the narrative stands each other character next to him to show you their flaws. What does Nageki do wrong, ever??? I can't think of a single thing. He doesn't make any real mistakes, so I don't know where to find an arc in that. There's nowhere to go, there's no change. Nageki really does thrive in his role as a ghost. He's sort of intangible, impossible to catch, impossible to hold on to. He's an impossible goal to be chased after, and ultimately, be left unreached. So much of the plot is just looking for Nageki. Looking for his secrets. Looking for his remains. Looking for anything he left behind. Looking for him. Looking for Nageki, and instead only finding your own reflection. I don't know how to discuss that, really. Which is why I usually don't. The story of Hatoful Boyfriend is this massive downward spiral, pulling everyone in, and down to their lowest point, and curled up right in the center of it all is Nageki, with every other story element orbiting around him, but never actually managing to reach him.

But after all that, looping all the way back around to my actual point. Sakuya.

Sakuya's arc actually finishes, and it finishes beautifully. In a story full of people getting worse, chasing unachievable ends, and being left eternally swirling around and around never quite reaching a proper conclusion just getting more and more damaged with each go around, Sakuya actually improves. He has this perfect, solid character arc.

Sakuya starts out as an egotistical bigot, living under false pretenses, with high ambitions of becoming a great leader. Through the story he faces every single flaw he has, confronts it, changes for the better, and grows as a person. And with each one he approaches his goal of being a great leader. Sakuya begins as a good leader, and ends as a fantastic one. He confronts his biases. He confronts his fears. He confronts his beliefs. He confronts himself, his identity. And he comes to terms with all of it, and rises from it stronger, and wiser, and more worldly. Sakuya walks out of the BBL epilogue a hero, and an incredible leader, having made good on all of his promises, and made significant good in the world. He's also quite possibly the least self destructive character we have, save for maybe Okosan, but I'm not going to even touch Okosan here. Sakuya learns from his mistakes and doesn't repeat them. And he achieves all of his goals. Sakuya is the only character not stuck in this downward spiral. And his character arc is just so perfect. It's such a nice clean arc. Sakuya starts out the first game as a genuinely kind of shitty guy. Every time I've introduced someone to the game I've said "It's totally okay not to like Sakuya. I like Sakuya, but when you first meet him it's hard to do, I get it. But just hold on, he gets better, I promise."

Sakuya has a Zuko tier redemption arc. The way that he learns to respect Ryouta more and more throughout BBL, the way that he starts to really think for himself and escape out from under his father's expectations in his route, the way that he was completely untouchable by The King's attempts at manipulation. Sakuya just fuckin THRIVES.

And this is sort of why I haven't really talked about him before today. That unfinished feeling to everyone else's story arcs eats at me. It sticks in my head. I can't stop talking about them because they're COMPELLING and they feel UNFINISHED and now I'm sort of obsessed with it. I'm caught in the loop with them, hunting for an ending that isn't there. The imperfections in these arcs are what keeps me speculating about still, 8 years down the line. I'm still trying to find that ending. But for Sakuya, and Nageki too actually, the only thing there is for me to talk about is why they work so well. And in Nageki's case, I'm not especially sure why, and so I don't have a lot to say on him. He's sort of a mystery to me. But for Sakuya, it is just so apparent to me why he's such an incredibly well written character. It feels sort of redundant to go through it. His arc is clean, and perfect. Just look at it! There's no holes for me to obsess over and write endless essays on. And there's no mystery to how effective it is. It's clean, and simple, and utterly perfect. I don't need to puzzle over how it works so well, because you can just take one look at it and it's all laid bare. He has the ideal redemption arc. The platonic ideal of exactly what his type of character should be. It's perfect. I don't feel like I can contribute much of anything to it by discussing it, further than just shining a light at what about it works so incredibly well.

So I don't.

Simply put, Sakuya has the most well written arc in Hatoful Boyfriend, and I would consider him the second most well written character in all.

#I'm sorry for any issues here #I know that Tumblr would eat this essay if I just posted it raw #so I screenshotted the whole thing beforehand so it wouldn't be destroyed in the inevitable crash #Then I fed those through an OCR #and copy pasted it back into the post editor to try again #So if the OCR misread anything and made errors I'm sorry #I'm also sorry for how huge this is #I would have put it under a read more #but I've learned that when I put my bigass essays under a readmore they wind up flying under the radar and never getting read #like the almost 5k long analysis of why Yuuya and Hitori are my favourite characters which was read by absolutely no one #and I kinda worked somewhat hard on this and want someone to actually read it #So I'm sorry for dominating your dash like this but it had to be done #hatoful boyfriend #hbf #Hatoful #damn I do be writing meta on this bird game #Sakuya Renaissance

104 notes · View notes

themidnightpanda · 1 year

Text

Yknow what? Screw it >makes a homestuck sideblog<

@mageofmindfr feel free to send asks about classpects as a mage of mind I like overanalyzing what little information canon has given us and write long long paragraphs about it. As I’m sure all of you who actually see most of my posts can figure.

#I might be long winded but its all informative #well. depending on what you count as informative I suppose #homestuck #classpect #classpect analysis #please i dont even care if you read it just let me write for hours on end about what being a seer of space can mean for a person #... actually now that Im saying that if youre a seer of space be nice about it yall intimidatingly clever #and I analyze the branching paths of choices in order to make myself look cool to actually cool ppl which yall definitely are #I wont go into a tirade in my own tags but Im barely holding back the entire explanation on how seers are usually confident #and space players tend to be problem-solvers or at least creative enough to be capable of it if they wish bc they think outside the box #so yall actually v cool

0 notes

bhaalble · 8 months

Text

I like that Last Unicorn quote as much as the next guy but I do always wind up feeling a little detached from analysis that paints Astarion's disapproval as purely envy. Partly because. No one's doing this for Lae'zel for instance even though she has similar disapproval and similar trauma (all she can remember is a hostile physically and emotionally exploitative environment which expected perfect strength and obedience from her or else she would be punished or killed). But also partly because it feels pretty detached from everything he actually has to say about it.

The thing about Astarion is he loathes weakness. He loathes sentiment and he loathes dependence. You can see this when he actually opens his mouth up about the people he disapproves of saving, but also incredibly loudly when he talks about the other companions, as well as his fellow spawn. If Lae'zel submits to Vlaakith he talks scornfully about how some people just come to love their chains. He's confused and put off if Wyll submits to Mizora to save his father. In every conversation with his fellow spawn (at least when hes not actively manipulating them) he's dismissive and harsh, and clearly he's perfectly willing to sacrifice them for the sake of himself.

There's an obvious origin point of those feelings, of course. Cazador's abuse is designed to actively kill off empathy in his spawn, both towards each other and towards victims. The last time Astarion prioritized someone over his own skin he got locked in a tomb for a year. We can see glimpses of it with the other spawn too, how his siblings are (apparently uncompelled at first) willing to drag Astarion back to their master for their freedom, how Petras' first dream of freedom is getting to drain another person dry. Astarion certainly doesn't seem to feel any real sense of solidarity with them, likely because Cazador understands that them building a community is a threat to his authority the way it was to his own master.

I'd also argue its Astarion projecting his own self-loathing outwards. So much of his quest is about his desperate attempt to escape from who he was. He's been given a chance to slip free of the limitations of being a spawn. He clings to that because of course he would. He also instinctively begins to run over everything in his path, because if there's anything he has learned over the past 200 years its that good things can always be taken away unless you make sure to remove any and all possible threats to that scrap of well-being. He's disdainful of people in need of help because they represent who he fears to go back to being! He calls his siblings "poor fools" while refusing to confront the fact that had it not been for the tadpole he would be in exactly their position, forced to cling to the hope that Cazador is telling the truth for once because escape isn't an option either way. He becomes irritated when Tav slows down to help the unfortunate because they represent roadblocks on his own path to safety.

There's an idea in mental health stolen from airplane safety: that you shouldn't help anyone else until your own mask is secure. What they don't tell you, speaking from personal experience at least, is that PTSD, especially for long term trauma, has a way of making you feel like your own mask will never be secure. And while that's scary, and it sucks, and there should be the utmost patience for it: no one is going to realize that mask is secure for you. Eventually you are going to have to accept the fact that you are breathing just fine. Eventually you are also going to have to accept that people asking something of you isn't them endangering you, even if it can sometimes (often) feel like it. It doesn't make you obligated to help them. But it does mean you have to stop reacting to them like a threat, because not 5 minutes ago that was you.

I think the idea that he's only mad because he's jealous is a gratifying fantasy. He didnt feel safe before, but now through your PC and the power of love he'll feel warm and cozy enough to forgive you for not being there to begin with. But I also think Astarion cannot live in a reality where he's never pushed back on. His instinctive self-protective movements are a coping mechanism, yes, but coping mechanisms developed under survival conditions can also be a way of keeping you frozen in your trauma. Outside of the environment they were necessary for, they can even hinder you from growing in the ways you need to grow to move past what happened to you. Sometimes, you need to stop a baby tiefling from getting crazy murdered by a snake because it turns out. That can happen to anybody not just people who are weak and stupid and deserve to die anyways not like me I'm normal-

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #ive got to stop drafting essays on him #apologies if this damages my cool boy image #cazador #baldurs gate 3 spoilers

2K notes · View notes

cerisereids · 16 days

Text

𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗶𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗼𝘀- 𝘀.𝗿. [𝗽𝘁. 𝟭]

pairing- spencer reid x fem!reader

wc- 3.5k

summary- you meet spencer reid while he's in your hometown on a case. you share one day before he has to leave. what happens when you can't stop thinking about each other?

warnings- sfw, reader is referenced as a woman, canon typical case discussion/emotions, fluff to angst, no happy ending (for now...) takes place in massachusetts for this first part, lmk if i missed any!

a/n- so. i ended up making this multiple parts. it's just too long. here is part 1 enjoy 😚

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

The soothing sun of an east coast spring morning bathes your skin in warmth, releasing some tension you have carried in your muscles since you first arrived at your desk this morning. The wind rustles through the trees, the idyllic scenery around you in motion with the breeze. The plants in the rose garden, the leaves and petals swirling around, they all follow the gusts in time, and you wish your morning was so easy. Your eyes fall shut, lashes fluttering against the tops of your cheeks as you recall that initial feeling of dread, the way it seeped through your bones when you arrived to work, met with a ransom note left on your desk. One million dollars. That’s how much the sender was demanding. One million for the safe return of Charles Anderson, local politician, diplomat, and the man who owns and funds the very library you manage.

At first, you were convinced it was a prank, refusing to let in the pure panic pounding at your heart until you were certain something was very wrong. Asking for $1,000,000 from a local library almost seemed like a joke to you at first, like a teenager made it up to spook you. It wouldn’t be the first time. You took the note to your boss’ office, eyes widening, panic in full force once you saw the state it was in. Papers everywhere, desk drawers flung open haphazardly, and an open window. Your heart nearly stopped as you raced back to your desk to dial 911.

Your eyes flutter open, back to reality as the tires of a black SUV screech against the library’s parking lot, coming to a halt right before you. You instinctively back away as a group of polished professionals exit the car, guns and badges strapped to their clothes. Your fingers find the pendant of your necklace, nervously fiddling with the small pearl resting on your chest. You greet the man in the suit, who introduces himself as Aaron Hotchner, the unit chief of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit. You walk the group of concerned faces over to your desk, where the note was originally found. They bag all evidence, and soon you’re left with only two agents. One is a kind woman with black hair who introduces herself as Emily, and the other is, quite literally, the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen in your entire life. His brows furrow and his big brown eyes bore widely into yours, checking for any and all signs of distress as he shakes your hand, introducing himself as Spencer.

His hand lingers, his warm palm resting in yours for the briefest moment. A jolt of electricity shoots through your veins all the same. You yank your hand back, not out of disdain, but because of the unfamiliar comfort of his touch. You hardly know this man, only so much as his name, but the mere touch of his calloused palm floods you with warmth, with comfort, as if you’ve known him your whole life. It scared you, but the reassurance in his eyes now puts you at ease. He knows. He feels it, too, you can tell.

Emily can tell, too, apparently. She clears her throat, effectively popping the golden, glittery bubble that surrounded you and Spencer in that moment. Her eyes flit between the two of you and your cheeks burn, you avert your eyes until the embarrassment passes. You suppose this is what it must be like being surrounded by profilers all day, your thoughts and feelings constantly on display. If it were a certain profiler, though, you’re not sure you’d mind so much.

“Ooookay…” Emily trails off, accusation lacing her tone, “I’m going to take a look in Anderson’s office, there could be something there that'll help us find him. Reid, you’re gonna stay here with this lovely lady until we get the all clear,” she nods towards him. Spencer Reid. You replay his full name in your head on a loop, it’s pretty, like him.

His head snaps up toward his coworker, brows furrowed as he stutters, “b-but I thought Hotch wanted me to-”

“Stay with her? While I go investigate? Yes, he did,” Emily finished for him, eyes boring into his in an attempt to send an unspoken message.

You’re no profiler, but now it’s your turn to flit your eyes between the two people before you, deciphering the unspoken words between them. From the blush creeping up the apples of Spencer’s cheeks and Emily’s knowing glare, it’s safe for you to assume she’s throwing him a bone here. Thank God for that.

As she turns to walk away, a lightbulb goes off over your head, “b-but-” you stop Emily as she walks away, and she whips around with an inquisitive look on her face, “is it safe to stay open? I mean, they broke in here and took Charlie-uhm-Mr. Anderson- and I don’t want our patrons to be in danger.”

“That’s an excellent question, Miss,” Emily responds, and the calming tone of her voice puts you at ease, “from what they’ve found at the station, the threat appears to be towards Anderson personally, not any of the institutions he owns. We’d like to keep it open so as to not cause public suspicion, the attention could make whoever’s taken him panic and kill. If anything happens, we’re here, and we have emergency teams on standby.” You nod, fingers once again anxiously fiddling with your pearl as Emily heads into Charlie’s office.

The first few minutes after Emily leaves you two alone is painfully awkward. The two of you stand still at your desk for a beat, both sets of eyes avoiding the other as much as possible while a thick silence settles between you.

“Uhm-” Spencer’s voice cracks as he attempts to use it, he clears his throat before continuing, “you can-you can keep doing what you normally do. I’ll just be here to protect you.”

Your eyes drift to his biceps, which are unfairly toned for such a lanky guy. You wonder how the cotton of his shirt would strain against them while he wrapped his arms around you, protecting you from whoever left the note on your desk this morning. The chaos of this morning would at least be worth something if it leads you there.

“What, like a security guard? I thought you were supposed to be some FBI hotshot,” you flirtatiously test the waters, teasing him gently. Your sparkling eyes now scan back up his neck, to his lips, then back up to his own eyes, and the contact makes you nearly dizzy.

“Oh! Well no-no not necessarily a security guard. Security guards became more popularized in the 1840s when a man named Allan Pinkerton founded the Pinkerton National Detective Agency, which is now one of the largest private security companies in this country, actually! Their primary focus is on protecting institutions and artifacts,” he fidgets with his fingers as he rambles, and your heart grows three sizes.

“Bodyguards, on the other hand, originated over 2,000 years ago during the reign of the Roman Empire. They protected royalty and leaders, so a bodyguard would be a more accurate description.” He finished his thoughts by clasping his hands together, interlacing his fidgeting fingers, while a flat smile appeared on his mouth. He looks almost guilty, like he’s said too much and is afraid you’ll laugh or tell him to shut up.

Luckily for him, though, he’s the sweetest man you’ve ever met, so you smile and say, “that's really interesting, Spencer, I had no idea," you see him relax a bit at your validation, so you keep going.

"You said bodyguards protect royalty?" it's nearly breathtaking how enthusiastically he nods, his soft hair moving with him, "so I can be, like, your queen for the day, hm?” you raise a brow at him as you fiddle with the end of his tie, and his face is nearly red as a tomato by this point.

“Yes!” he nearly jumps out of his own skin at the contact, and you nearly melt from how endearing it all is, “well, your safety is incredibly important so maybe you can just pick up from where you left off before we got here,” his voice picks up in speed and your heart could burst at the fact that you’ve worked him up this much while doing so little, “you can pretend like I’m not even here, I’ll just be sure you’re safe, while the rest of my team works to safely return Mr. Anderson,” he slows down a bit towards the end, taking a breath and giving you a smile, a real one this time.

You return it, “thank you, Dr. Reid. You being here has already helped more than you know,” he finally initiates eye contact himself this time, his head snapping up automatically, before he could decide not to.

“Go-good,” he clears his throat once more, “I’m glad to help. That’s my job.” You exchange another set of smiles and you wonder how long it will be before you just can’t take it anymore.

“Well, unfortunately, though, there is nowhere for me to pick up on, because the first thing I did when I got here was call you guys,” your smile only widens as he shakes his head, cheeks tinting once more, “oh-no-no of course, yeah that makes sense.”

“Lucky for you, though,” you poke at his chest gently, “it seems as if my first task of the day is restocking the nonfiction section, let’s go!” you chirp as you march along, rolling the cart full of returned books.

“Why is that lucky for me?” he trips over a cord in his attempt to catch up with you, and you giggle, reaching out a hand for him on instinct. To your surprise, he links his pinky with yours.

“For someone who knows as much about security guards as you do, I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume you like nonfiction,” you say while you swing your arms back and forth, and he mumbles in agreement.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“Wait a minute, so-let me get this straight,” you stop and turn away from the bookshelf to face the tall man behind you. Over the past hour, you’ve reshelved your way to the romance section, “so you have three Ph. D.s, two B.A.s, and you’re working on your third? While working for the FBI?” you push the cart further down the aisle as he walks beside you, leaning against the parallel bookshelf when you stop.

“Yep-yeah, that’s-that is correct, yes. I-uh- I have an IQ of 187 and an eidetic memory. You were accurate in your assumption about nonfiction,” he jokes, a sweet smile on his face. His smiles have grown more confident in the past hour, the more you two exchange niceties, anecdotes. You revel in those smiles, soaking in each one like a cat laying in the sun.

“I love that, education is so important,” you remark, and his blush deepens. Whether it’s because of your compliment or the shirtless man on the cover of the pirate romance you’re reshelving, you’re not sure. All you know is that this man before you makes your heart twinge with a longing you haven't felt in years. You want to see that blush on those cheeks everyday for the rest of forever.

“Is that why you wanted to work at a library? Because education is important?” he questions. You can tell he's desperate to keep the attention off his reddening cheeks, the blush now making its way to his ears. You could die at the way the tips of them turn pink, but you choose to answer his question instead.

“My mom always told me that education sets you free. I think it’s so true, no matter how you go about seeking that education. When you know better, you do better, y’know?” you pause, and he nods like you’re the most important person in the world, “I wanted to be able to encourage that in our patrons. I think I’ve done a good job,” you smile as you think back to the successful programs you’ve run through this library: book clubs, after school science fairs, and more.

“I’m sure you have, I can tell that there is immense love and care poured into this building on a daily basis. Your passion shines through you, y’know,” Spencer dotes, and you nearly forget how to breathe. His compliments seep through your skin, making its way into your bones. You shudder. This man is something else.

“So, what made you decide that the FBI was where you wanted to use all this knowledge?” you ask as you ruffle his hair gently, eagerly drinking in yet another smile. This one’s shy, aimed at the ground. A blush he’s so desperately trying to hide creeps up to the high point of his cheekbones, despite his best efforts to conceal his flustered nature from you.

“I had a mentor, he founded the unit back in the 70s. Hand picked me from the academy,” he lets out a nostalgic chuckle at the memory, and you wish you could bottle it up like a perfume, “we were really close, he’s the only person who could beat me at chess, actually," he's looking down when you turn to face him, his foot kicks around at a stray pebble that's made its way inside from the courtyard. You can tell he's not sure if he should say more. You hope he does.

"He quit a few years back without warning, he lost someone he cared about and couldn’t take it anymore. It really wrecked me at the time, but people move on, I guess…” he trails off, sheepishly looking once again towards his Converse. His hands are stuffed in his pockets, and he's wearing that same guilty face from earlier, as if he’s afraid he’s said too much. It’s not possible, though. You want to know every detail, glimpse into every nook and cranny of this man’s peculiar life.

“I know what you mean,” you start delicately, so he knows you mean it, “Charlie-uhm- Mr. Anderson-” you corrected, “he came to speak at one of my grad school lectures, what, probably five or six years ago now?" you chuckle at the memory, unbelieving that it was already so long ago, and Spencer smiles with you. It makes you feel like the queen of the world.

"From the second he began speaking to us about this library, I fell in love with it. I spoke with him afterwards and it was an instant fit. I don’t know what I’ll do if something happens to him,” the dread from this morning slowly creeps back into the pit of your stomach as you turn to Spencer with sad, wide eyes.

“My team is some of the best in the world,” Spencer reassures you, a hand resting on your shoulder that eases the erratic beat of your heart, “they are doing everything they can to find him and return him safely.”

You greedily lean into his touch, savoring the feel of his forearm against your cheek, “‘m worried about him,” you croak, eyes glossing over, “he’s older than he used to be, y’know. He’s stubborn, but he’s not so spry, especially compared to when I first started working for him. I’m scared,” you confess, tears finally spilling over your lash line.

“Come here,” Spencer whispers mainly to himself, but you pick it up. Butterflies swarm in your stomach as he envelops you in the sweetest hug known to man.

His arms fit perfectly around you as you cuddle into him, utilizing him for every last bit of comfort he’ll allow. You turn your head so your temple rests on his chest, eyes scanning over his biceps, now flexing and straining against his printed button up. You allow yourself to indulge in the tautness for just a moment, before you wrap your arms around him in return. He takes this as a sign to pull you in deeper, tighter, a large hand soothing the expanse of your back in calming circles.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he whispers into your temple, and you shudder at the way his breath hits your skin. You want to feel it all the time.

Once he releases you, you reluctantly return to your shelving. You thank your lucky stars that your back is facing towards him, lest you give up all your cards so quickly. Now that you’ve had that contact with him, you’re not sure you’ll be able to go without it. You can still feel the warmth of his skin as he wrapped himself around you, the softness of his forearms, the way your arms wrapped perfectly around his waist. A giddy weight sits heavy in your stomach, you’re breathless, like you’d been touched by an angel. Maybe you were.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You thank your lucky stars that Spencer was right. Later in the afternoon, his team had found Charlie in an abandoned warehouse by the bay, the men who took him are in custody, and now you’re sitting in a plastic, sticky hospital chair as the steady beeps of an EGK machine torment you from across the hallway. You pick at your nails, desperate to pass time until Charlie’s family gets here. You promised you’d stay with him, why wouldn’t you after everything he’s done for you? What you don’t understand is why Spencer has stayed behind with you.

“You don’t have to be here, y’know?” you say, even though you desperately want him to stay. You nudge his knee gently when you see a small smile form on his lips, “wouldn’t you much rather be closing out this case with your team?”

“I’d rather be anywhere you are, making sure you’re okay,” he tells you matter of factly, eyes looking directly to yours.

Those agonizing big brown eyes have plagued you all day. Every time you catch even the slightest glimpse, an overwhelming ache punctures through your heart, right in the middle. You imagine it’s what being shot with Cupid’s arrow is like. A heavy silence falls between you then. You both know what comes next. Spencer and his team close the case, and he goes home. You both turn your gazes forward, avoiding the other’s sad eyes, avoiding his departure.

A sudden clapping noise jumpstarts you back to reality, and you reluctantly turn away from Spencer to find Charlie’s wife behind you. Her hands are clasped, eyes glassy and wide. You’re frozen at the sight of her, the true gravity of what you’ve experienced settling in fully. A pit sits in your stomach like a rock at the bottom of a lake. You know you must look foolish, but your body can't move, all your energy has been usurped by the otherworldly events of your day. Your red, dry eyes meet her glassy ones, and you wish so desperately you could be of some sort of use.

Spencer thankfully takes over, patting your knee like he can read your mind as he directs Charlie’s distressed wife to the room across the hall. You sit, now alone, with your back to the wall. You feel outside yourself, like you’re floating above the hospital, not actually in it. You’re not blinking, you’re pale as a ghost.

You watch half heartedly through the glass as Spencer explains to her what’s happened. You know he’s told her he’s okay by the way she gasps, pulling him into her arms without a second chance. You feel ridiculously jealous at the sight of it.

When he exits the room to give her some privacy, that same, all knowing silence dawns upon you two again. He stops in front of you, crouching down to meet your level. You keep your gaze on your loafers tapping against the linoleum floor. Spencer takes your wrists in his hands and moves them apart, leaving you no choice but to accept your vulnerability. Your now glossy eyes reach his, and it’s like you can see the ache, the longing for what never was and never could be.

“I-” Spencer starts, but his voice croaks, so he clears his throat and continues, “I had the best time keeping you safe today. I’m really happy we were able to find your boss, I know he means a lot to you,” his voice is gentle, kind, and you want to strangle him for it. Your life has been turned upside down, irrevocably changed, and this is all he’s leaving you with? You foolishly anticipated a grand confession, for him to sweep you off your feet and vow that 90 minutes isn’t that long of a flight, that you could make it work while he’s in Quantico and you’re here. That was your mind’s fairytale, though, and this is real life.

“Goodbye, Spencer,” you whisper through an embarrassing onslaught of tears, “I hope you fly safe.”

You disassociate once more, only pulled back to reality by the feel of Spencer’s soft, chapped lips against your forehead. Then, he’s gone.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fan fiction #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid criminal minds #spencer reid cm #spencer reid fic #spencer reid one shot

377 notes · View notes

starrgaziinggg · 9 months

Text

all I need is you

Hyunjin x reader, established relationship, fluff

-> 1.4k words

You almost don't notice the space beside you being filled. It had been hours, just staring at the city below you as the wind forced goosebumps to rise on your arms. Being alone had never bothered you much until today. Watching groups of friends gossiping around campus on your first day back only fuelled your desire to have a friend group of your own.

Girls you could talk about anything with. Guys that teased you lovingly. A firm body of people around you. It wasn't as though you'd never had friends, it was more so you couldn't find the place you naturally fit in. You were never any good at long term friendships, finding the forced nature of them disconcerting.

Hyunjin drops a hoodie on your lap before nestling in beside you, the make shift outdoor sofa you'd created one bored night being the only source of comfort on your rooftop. Until Hyunjin, of course. His warm aura brings you comfort even on your darkest days.

"Figured you'd be freezing to death up here," he chuckles, grabbing both of your hands in his to warm them. His freshly dyed black hair (a shame to you, since you'd loved the red, but his boss did not) blows into his face as he turns to give you a lopsided grin.

It's almost comical how at ease you feel now he's by your side, your feelings of loneliness evaporating almost instantly. He was a stroke of luck, Hyunjin, seemingly finding you when you needed him most. An art student, working long shifts in a local cafe to get by, who'd become a recluse voluntarily.

The bookstore you'd first met in was always desolate. You'd no idea how the small gem managed to stay afloat, since you were almost always the only person that bothered to give it time. It was one of your favourite places, the sole owner knowing you by name.

Six chapters into rereading your favourite book and there he was, nudging your foot with his as he flopped onto the beanbag beside you.

"Heaven, by Mieko Kawakami," he read aloud, tilting his head at you inquisitively. "Any good?"

A couple seconds after the shock of a gorgeous man interrupting your evening routine, you nod slowly.

"It's my favourite," you had replied in a small voice, confused as to why this god crafted human being was in a run down bookshop behind your apartment block, and why he was giving you the time of day.

"Tell me about it," he's said, shrugging his shoulders and leaning back, patiently waiting.

So you delved into a ramble about the basis of the book and why it meant so much to you, the premise of morality and why people do the things they do. And the whole time Hyunjin, as you'd come to discover his name, sat listening intently, nodding along without interrupting once.

When you'd concluded, realising you had been speaking much longer than you probably should have been, he raised his eyebrows.

"You know, I was never any good at English in school. I slept through every book analysis my dull ass English teacher ever attempted. And, I actually only came in here because it's one of the only stores in the area that has this art book I need, but I could probably listen to you talk about how to tie my own shoelaces and still be entranced."

The shellshock of Hyunjin's immediate interest in you took weeks to dissipate. You'd talked until the owner of the bookstore told you (lovingly) to beat it, and then some. The next day, you'd completed your summer university coursework in the cafe he worked at until his shift finished and then walked aimlessly around the area, never running out of topics to discuss.

And that was that. Within months you knew everything about each other. He took you to his favourite museum one day, explaining the intricacies behind every painting, and all you could do was watch him in awe. He walked you home, told you you were his favourite person in the universe, and kissed you because he meant it.

You'd never thought of yourself as a lucky person, but in that moment it was as though all your good karma had willed itself into existence.

"What's going on inside that head, pretty?" He says now, tilting your head up with his finger to meet his gaze.

"Nothing majorly substantial," you reply lazily, kissing his nose lightly and making him laugh. You tug on the jumper he'd brought you, a thick hoodie he'd bought recently, as he pulls an arm around your shoulders.

"Every thought you have is substantial," he says matter-of-factly, turning back to look at the view. The city noises dulled as he spoke, car horns and music white noise in the distance. "Even the ones about cats and why they're better than dogs."

"They are," you glare at him, which he just rolls his eyes at. You sit in silence for a couple minutes, enjoying his company as he traces circles on your bare legs absentmindedly. "How was your shift today?"

"Same old," he replies, pulling a hand through his disheveled hair. "You should come in after your classes tomorrow, sit with me behind the counter."

"You're lucky your boss likes you," you chuckle, bumping his shoulder lightly with yours. "I'm there every other day."

"Chan doesn't care," Hyunjin assures with a smile. "He likes you. He actually invited you along to our work night out next weekend."

"He did?" You ask, your attention piquing.

Hyunjin hums in response. "Yeah, but it will be a whole lot of Riki terrorising everyone and risking getting himself fired," he laughs. "That kid is a menace."

"Do you want me to come?" You ask sincerely, doe eyes blinking up at the man you were wholeheartedly in love with. He looks back at you with such adoration your heart physically swells in your chest.

"Of course," he answers instantly, his brows furrowed. "Everyone I work with probably likes you more than they like me. In fact, they've stated it more than once. Plus, I'd get to show off my pretty girlfriend, and I need you for morale support against Riki."

The grin appears of your face quicker than lightening as you nestle your head into Hyunjin's shoulder.

"Sometimes I think I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have you in my life, you know," you mumble. "I don't know what I ever did to deserve you."

You feel Hyunjin shake his head above you, before reaching for your face with both hands and making you stare at him.

"You're perfect, love," he smiles, rubbing his thumb against your cold cheek. "You can be a stubborn thing, but I love you for it. If you could see yourself through my eyes you'd understand why I'm so infatuated with you."

You can't help but to roll your eyes, a natural instinct to any compliment you receive. He shakes you gently as you laugh, as if attempting to rid you of all your negative thoughts.

"Now, get your ass inside your apartment. It's fucking freezing out here, and I'm shattered," he groans, standing up and pulling you along with him.

"You're staying over?" You ask excitedly, knowing he was going to classes early in the morning.

"Duh," he says sassily, leading you through the fire escape after intertwining your hand with his own. "I missed you like crazy at work today. Chan's new no phone rule is kicking my ass and I need a cuddle."

You laugh, following him down the stairs in your apartment building like a puppy. "You're cute today."

"I'm cute everyday," he counters, turning to tilt his head at you. You stop for a second, just staring down at him.

"I love you, you know?" You say, as if he's not already aware of how deep your feelings run for him. He just grins back at you, tugging you down the stairs and into his embrace.

“I love you too, angel,” he replies whilst wrapping his arms tightly around you.

Maybe you would never have the amount of friends you’d always desired. Maybe those deep rooted feelings of loneliness would never fully dissipate. But with Hyunjin by your side, you felt as though you didn’t need anything more.

I wrote this last night and wasn’t going to post it but I think it’s cute so here you go :) sorry for the inactivity, I am swamped rn but I’m trying my best!

#hyunjin x reader #stray kids #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin imagines #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin fluff #stray kids hyunjin #hyunjin scenarios #hyunjin fluff #hwang hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin imagine #hyunjin comfort #stray kids imagines

701 notes · View notes

mysteriesmuse · 2 months

Text

I need to be able to be in the car with the bnha boys just gossiping and bitching about people. Like it’s inbetween classes midweek and we’ve gone out to grab some drive through. I’m sitting with French fries in hand and a steady beat is pumping through the radio as we sit it the car. The static hum of the AC mingling with the whizzing of cars on the road. Just fully able to decompress as we playfully tilt our converse clad toes like windshield wipers sipping on the straw of our soda. Katsuki who absolutely eats that kind of shitty friendship smack talk sessons UP. He’s leaning over to turn the radio down as you continue to talk at the red light. Katsuki always immediately jumps in to your defense and gives the best grievances in commentary to your argument. The chances are he doesn’t even know this girl, but he does recall you complaining about this same classmate a few weeks back, and on, and on. He knows she’s not good news. And the man lives for the way he verbally obliterates people in your defense. Something about hearing Katsuki do it in his natural snarl and growl has you punctuating the end of his comment with an exaggerated “thank you!!”

Shoto is buckled in for the ride as your passenger princess. he’s quickly gotten a handle on gossiping without ever having mentioned a name. He’s already shoving a fry into his mouth as you drive off down the road complaining. In the other hand, Shoto is cross-referencing Instagram, Facebook, and the like to match up names and faces himself. Once he finds it to confirm he purposefully tilts his phone under your nose and shows you the worst possible photo as their reference. He lives for the moment where you give an excited little gasp. It’s his sacred duty as the “friend of a friend” to provide a dozen infallible cover stories where together you can gracefully escape any encounters with said individuals. “Of course, love.” He’s already got his notes app pulled up to get started and he’ll crack open the drawer of manilla folders when he gets home. Izuku seems to enjoy hearing you rant on and on as he nods feverishly and passes you nuggets and French fry’s that have been lightly cooled by holding them up against the AC vents. He loves to sit and hear you talk even if you’re upset while doing it. In fact, he usually ends up admiring the strength you have to ignore the other person. Internally, Izuku is hanging onto every word and always trying to figure out the best solution to your dilemma. After your long-winded ranting is complete he’ll shake off the adoring doe eyes and now he’s offering up more than just delicious food - he’s offering up the perfect kind of comeback from the literary analysis he’s been doing this whole time. Every once in a while there’s an option he rattles off that nearly makes you choke until he frantically hands you your drink. It isn’t until you finally drink and sigh, “that’s good.” That he relaxes again and puffs up his chest at the notion of him having helped you.

#mysteriesmusing #bakugou katsuki #shoto todoroki #izuku midoriya #bakugou x reader #shoto x reader #izuku x reader #mha fanfiction #Been feeling really gossipy as the semester goes on #I just need people to stop being terrible and narcissistic in every possible public situation I’m in with them

235 notes · View notes

ultr4vjolence · 6 months

Text

@ULTR4VJOLENCE MISC RECS .ᐟ

𖥔 ˑ ִ ֗ ִ AARON HOTCHNER

ᥫ᭡ a joyful future

a criminal minds big family!au where aaron gets the love and security he deserves.

ᥫ᭡ agents and asphodel

you hand in your resignation to the BAU.

there is no fanfare, no warning. one minute you’re there, and three weeks later, you’re gone, ousted at the insistence of strauss. but an unknown past holds the key to your personal horror story, one that you thought ended years before and is back with a vengeance — one set on taking you far, far away from the people you call your family.

ᥫ᭡ of terrible coffee and late-night rides

he watches you. maybe the two beers are going to his head, despite his infamous reputation as a heavyweight — all he knows is that his eyes follow as you slip through the crowds, sending beaming grins to some people you know from the office, and... you don’t know, do you? you don’t know how you make people feel. how you make every person you lay eyes on feel like they’re the only one you see; like they’re one in a million. important. you capture their attention with just one look and you keep it, too. you never go away — you burrow yourself into his brain and make a place for yourself there and—

their brains. that’s what he meant.

or: moments throughout your relationship with one aaron hotchner.

ᥫ᭡ moments

agent aaron hotchner, your boss, absolutely hated you. he was suspicious of your true intentions. but you were determined to prove yourself to him, no matter how long it took. or— the long, painful, winding road it takes for you and aaron to get your happily ever after.

ᥫ᭡ intelligence & issues

you’ve been working for the BAU for almost a year now. you know how you feel about your supervisor, but you also know it’s a lost cause. when the next case the BAU is assigned takes the team to your hometown, will it bring the two of you closer, or rip you apart for good?

ᥫ᭡ a hard day’s night

after graduation from the FBI Academy, all new agents go through a year of new agent training before becoming official agents of the bureau. by some stroke of luck, you get assigned to complete your training with the department you’ve always wanted to join— the behavioral analysis unit. you signed up for a year of profiling, case work, and catching serial killers, but you’re in for more than you could ever dream of…

ᥫ᭡ wanna be yours

professor hotchner’s criminal law class has a reputation. professor hotchner has a reputation. on your first day, you manage to draw his anger. he seems to hate you. what happens behind closed doors... that’s a different story.

ᥫ᭡ accidents

as the newest member of the BAU, you had nothing but professional respect for your boss, ssa aaron hotchner. sure, he was an attractive man, but your mind had never strayed even close to considering him as anything more than a capable and accomplished unit chief. this changes drastically through a series of “accidents” and in the end, there is nothing professional about your relationship anymore.

██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ 20%

𖥔 ˑ ִ ֗ ִ SPENCER REID

ᥫ᭡ 3

is it okay to do wrong things for the right reasons? they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions (feat. unsub reader). this is not a love story. there will be no happy ending.

ᥫ᭡ phoenix

it’d been 10 weeks since spencer died in your arms. at least, that’s what you thought. (rewrite of the emily/doyle arc with spencer taking emily’s place)

ᥫ᭡ be a rebel, be bad, stay here and cuddle with me

“i love you, i love you,” he murmured between pecks. tangled in the sheets, his long arms still enveloped your form as he peeked up at the small clock on the bedside table behind you, a heavy sigh promptly escaping his lungs as he read the time, “but i really gotta get up and go to work…”

ᥫ᭡ here to misbehave

spencer spots you at a nightclub and quickly becomes smitten. only problem is he’s an FBI agent and you’re under 21.

ᥫ᭡ domesticity

reader gets worked up watching spencer with kids. he notices.

ᥫ᭡ santa’s gift

reader asks her husband what he wants for christmas.

ᥫ᭡ sunscreen & statistics

reader asks for spencer’s help putting on sunscreen (and washing it off after).

████▒▒▒▒▒▒ 40%

𖥔 ˑ ִ ֗ ִ AEGON II TARGARYEN

ᥫ᭡ when the world is crashing down

your family is house celtigar, one of rhaenyra’s wealthiest allies. in the aftermath of rook’s rest, aemond unknowingly conscripts you to save his brother’s life. now you are in the lair of the enemy, but your loyalties are quickly shifting…

ᥫ᭡ north to the future

the year is 1999. you are just beginning your veterinary practice in juneau, alaska. aegon is a mysterious, troubled newcomer to town. you kind of hate him. you are also kind of obsessed with him. falling for him might legitimately ruin your life… but can you help it? oh, and there’s a serial killer on the loose known only as the ‘ice fisher.’

█████▒▒▒▒▒ 50%

𖥔 ˑ ִ ֗ ִ AEMOND TARGARYEN

ᥫ᭡ the pawn in every lover’s game

when you’re ten, your father sends you to king’s landing to befriend a princess and woo a prince. a lioness growing up amongst dragons is a dangerous thing indeed.

ᥫ᭡ children of the empire

you are the eldest daughter of rhaenyra, princess of dragonstone, and twin to her heir, prince jacaerys. when your younger brother assails your uncle in a childhood squabble, your grandsire, the king viserys, offers your hand in marriage as payment for aemond’s lost eye. plighted in a match that is beheld by many and desired by none, you find yourself alone in a nest of vipers, forced to watch as your mother and the queen maneuver and vie for influence within the court and the realm. despite your youth, fears, and insecurity, you know you must apply your will and wits to one claim or another, but this choice becomes more and more difficult as you find yourself further entrenched within the family who would see your mother and siblings fed to the flames.

ᥫ᭡ studious

your marriage to the one-eyed prince is not as romantic as you hoped. the wedding night is beyond awkward and confusing, and afterward, your husband seems more than content to ignore you. but you keep finding yourself drawn to him, and the strange way he makes you feel.

ᥫ᭡ to make them love me (and make it seem effortless)

you clutch the collar of his shirt. “why do you want to marry me, aemond?”

he looks down at you, and his hands twitch by his sides, no doubt wanting to feel your warmth permeate through your clothes. he can feel your heart hammering underneath your ribs, and he’s sure that if you slide your hands lower, you could feel his racing similarly. your body melds so perfectly to his, and you breathe in sync, as if engaged in a dance of their own. every molecule of your body thrums to life underneath his fingers, every second that passes between you is charged with a tension that threatens to push the both of you over the precipice, and still you do not see.

he hates that, even with one eye, he does.

you await his answer with bated breath, but he sees the way your eyes briefly flicker down to his lips.

ᥫ᭡ take me to the lakes (where all the poets went to die)

you and prince aemond hadn’t seen each other for years since you left the red keep. now, you’re back.

ᥫ᭡ comet donati

sex, drugs, boy bands. you are a kinda-therapist recruited (via nepotism) to help comet donati through a recent crisis. things are casual with aegon, very not-casual with aemond. loosely inspired by one direction.

███████▒▒▒ 70%

𖥔 ˑ ִ ֗ ִ JOEL MILLER

ᥫ᭡ i know it when i see it

it’s the golden age of porn. sex and sin are the national pastime. you fled your suffocating small town to make dirty movies in the big city. you’re paired with joel miller for your first scene.

pornstar!joel miller AU

ᥫ᭡ allowed to be happy

while snowed in on a scouting mission, you tell dina the story of how you and joel met.

ᥫ᭡ mercy.

in a dog-eat-dog world of sliced throats and broken bones in exchange for primal survival, begging for mercy should have been the very last resort.

especially when a certain survivor was holding you at gunpoint.

ᥫ᭡ mr. rattlebone

settled in at jackson, joel and reader avoid their feelings for each other for their own safety.

ᥫ᭡ guard duty

guard duty was absolutely the worst, you thought to yourself with a bitter sense of resolution, but at least it meant some peace and quiet. the watchtower was set directly above the main entrance gate to jackson, a closed off wooden structure with stairs leading to the inside and an outer catwalk circulating it.

sometimes, the town could get on your nerves with how full of life and bustling it seemed to be; but you wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. that sort of thing was a hidden oasis in a world like this, almost too good to be true, and you knew you were lucky to be part of it, even if it meant never ending guard duties at the early hours of morning, when the sun still wouldn’t be out for quite some time.

you sighed again.

“if you sigh one more time,” joel muttered in a monotonous voice, “i swear, i’m gonna throw you outta this window.”

ᥫ᭡ too early, too cold

early mornings are always slow, specially during winter.

█████████▒ 90%

𖥔 ˑ ִ ֗ ִ BELLAMY BLAKE

ᥫ᭡ sub rosa

it’s easy to think that you’re swimming in the sky. floating with the stars, weaving between them, part of the sky, the way you always dreamed you could be.

or, a clarke griffin!twin, bellamy blake x reader rewrite for the 100. complete.

ᥫ᭡ in this new light

slow, soft and sleepy morning sex.

ᥫ᭡ pretty fixation, wicked temptation

you and bellamy had spent a one-hundred-and-twenty-five years in cryosleep. a century of not touching each other catches up to both of you but finding somewhere to satiate your urges undisturbed is quite difficult. maybe a new planet will be just the place. but first, what’s a little challenge to heighten the tension?

██████████ 100%

A C C E S S G R A N T E D. . .

276 notes · View notes

majorproblems77 · 1 month

Text

Hi, Linked Maze fans! It's me again!

Ohhhh boy we are cooking and I am excited. Let's do a late-night ramble with yours truly

When I tell you I looked at these panels for a reasonable amount of time I was lying and it was longer than that.

Now a link to the comic page can be found Here! Please go give it some love :D

For the important stuff!

Linked Maze belongs to @linked-maze and its wonderful creator @frulleboi. (You should follow them, they are wonderful) And as a heads up, Linked maze is for more mature audiences! :)

As usual, you know the drill, Grab some water, Grab some popcorn and prepare for me to ramble at you for however long it is!

Here we go!

Oh lordy it's the sun (you'll see why later.)

He sniffin. Sniff Sniff

Now, Everyone remembers the first rule of exploring. Dont run off! That includes you Wolfy!

Now I have a theory. Which I'll come back to in detail later. But just, Remember the shadow behind four for me. We'll get back to it.

Warrior is the group Dad at this point. also, I love this side shot of him thank you.

Also

Warrior. Speaking to Wolfie like he is a kid rather than a wolf.

WARRIOR KNOWS SOMETHING IS UP YOU CANT CHANGE MY MIND

I dont think It'll be Sky. I think it'll be a hero we haven't met yet!

We interupt this comic analysis for unhinged analysis :D

Ready? Me too, lets go

Because, that shadow?

this one?

I dont think it's wolfy, It can't be.

Wolfie's shadow has a definition to it. It has a shape.

You can see the outlines of his tail, which is what we would see if it were him.

Where this one is a blob. Closer to a person.

Ie Winds's shadow

the blob

In fact, if I had to give you a position for Wolfy right now. It's not there. Let me explain.

Shadowssssss

Remember the sun? (Me too, I miss it;-;)

The sun can tell us a bunch about time and stuff. But also where a person is (Because fun angles and maths that I know way too much about tbh)

Anyway

So Wolfy's shadow hits another wall

This wall looks flat so it can't be a corner. (Taking the grass as reference)

And his face isn't shadowed at all, So he himself isn't behind a wall. He's approaching one tho. So in this case I reckon Wolfie isn't visible at all to wind and Warriors at the point Four turns to them.

So who is this mysterious shadow?

It ain't angel. No way.

I reckon it is another Link group. And we are either going to meet the last of the Links we are yet to meet. Or we are pulling groups together.

You know what....

I think it's World or Spirit. And we are gonna see these guys interact before they meet the other larger group of heroes.

Though im leaning towards Spirit just because of the shadow's shape. (And the lack of Sheerow)

Let me know what you think because I'm not 100% sure and I'm interested in what you think.

Okay ramble over, but to be fair that's why your here right?

Oh windddddd

the poor boy

I feel so bad for him he didn't deserve this. He probably tried to open his eye cause he was excited. :(

:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

The boyyyyyyy

He's trying to be a strong hero in front of these other heroes again. This poor kid i feel so bad for him.

ALSO THE EARS :(

They have expressive ears and it kills me to see wind sad like this.

AHHHHHH

BIG BRO WARRIOR

I LOVE HIM

And his little ear lower of worry for the small I love him sm okay.

Excuse me?

bhdjlhsafdnsajkfndas;nfdas

You can't leave it like that

Where's wolfy

Wheres four?

Will the small boy ever not be in pain?

I have questions!

Ahh okay okay I loved this update it was very fun. Im excited to see what's coming up in the next chapter.

Thats all from me!

Have a great night all! :D

#linked maze #linkedmaze #linked maze analysis #zelda au #links meet au #loz au #lm twilight #lm four #lm warrior #lm wind #lm wolfy #comic analysis with major #ramble corner with major #suitable name for these #oh lord its 3am but i love this comic i had to #worth it #forever worth it #im going to bed lmao

106 notes · View notes

anthurak · 2 months

Text

So ever since the first season of Hazbin wrapped, there’s been more and more people (myself included) discussing and analyzing the parallels that Charlie and Vaggie seem to have towards Lucifer and Lilith. However, I’ve also started seeing a bit of debate as to how these two relationships parallel; namely whether Charlie is the parallel to her mother OR her father in this relationship, and whether Vaggie likewise parallels Lucifer OR Lilith.

And what I think is so INTERESTING about this is that the more I’ve looked back over what we’ve seen of both Chaggie and Lilith/Lucifer, the more I think we’re going to have to recognize that the parallels Chaggie has to Lucifer and Lilith actually cut in BOTH directions. That Charlie parallels BOTH Lilith and Lucifer in this relationship, and that Vaggie likewise parallels BOTH Lucifer and Lilith.

Because when you start looking back at Season 1 and all the analysis people have done, you really start finding a LOT of strong evidence for BOTH interpretations:

We have stuff like Charlie being an extremely powerful (half)human woman who inspires the people of Hell through her singing just like her mother, while also being an optimistic dreamer who longs to help humanity just like her father. Or stuff like Vaggie being a fallen angel and victim of Heaven’s cruelty just like Lucifer, while also being a woman hurt and cast out for not wanting to be controlled just like Lilith.

Really, it’s actually funny just looking at the scene of Charlie’s and Vaggie’s first meeting and seeing the number of people reading Charlie as Lucifer and Vaggie as Lilith, and the number of people reading Charlie as Lilith and Vaggie as Lucifer, being pretty much equal.

Charlie finds and gives comfort and shelter to Vaggie just as Lucifer did for Lilith, and Vaggie falls for Charlie just as Lucifer did for Lilith.

And we can find that kind of duel parallelism all over the place with Chaggie.

Charlie is the taller of the pair just like Lilith and Vaggie is the shorter one just like Lucifer, yet Charlie is the super energetic, optimistic dreamer which seems to parallel more what we’ve seen/heard about Lucifer while Vaggie is the more cool, quiet and sometimes more cynical one which likely has more in common with Lilith.

We’ve gotten hints that Lilith has been working on her own plan to help her people which led to traveling to Heaven to cut some kind of deal, just as we seen Charlie attempting. Yet when Charlie goes to Heaven she winds up speaking out against them and decrying what they’ve been doing, just as Lucifer has. And as I’ve discussed in other posts, Charlie’s dynamic with Emily has some potentially VERY interesting parallels to Lucifer and Eve: Charlie gives Emily knowledge that was long forbidden to her (the truth of the extermination) just as Lucifer gave Eve the apple of forbidden knowledge.

And in this regard, Vaggie’s not-so-well-hidden jealousy of how well Emily is getting along with Charlie could easily reflect how Lilith may have felt about Eve getting so close to Lucifer (something we KNOW happened thanks to the finale), yet the entire big reveal of that episode is that Vaggie is in fact a Fallen Angel just like Lucifer.

Then we have the two iterations of the song More Than Anything: The first version between Charlie and Lucifer is all about just how similar Charlie is to her father, with Lucifer not wanting his daughter to be hurt just like he was, yet also RELATING so much to Charlie’s goals.

But then we have the romantic reprisal of the song later between Charlie and Vaggie, which has Vaggie paralleling Lucifer, which in turn hints to Charlie more paralleling Lilith.

Now one way of interpreting this could be that Charlie is meant to exhibit the traits of both her parents, ultimately representing the best of both of them. Which in turn could naturally lead Vaggie, being Charlie’s romantic partner, to parallel both Lilith and Lucifer in her dynamic with Charlie. The Lucifer to Charlie’s Lilith AND the Lilith to Charlie’s Lucifer.

Just to give an example of this dynamic from a different show, just look at Blake and Yang in RWBY in relation to Blake’s allusions to Beauty and the Beast. Because Blake is an allusion to both ‘Beauty’ (Belle) and ‘the Beast’, this has led to Yang likewise showcasing nods to both in order to compliment wherever Blake is in her development; in the early volumes of the show when Blake is very withdrawn, brooding and standoffish like the Beast, Yang is very upbeat, positive and trying to get Blake out of her shell just like Beauty/Belle. And in later volumes when Blake has become much more upbeat and optimistic just like Beauty/Belle, Yang has likewise become more brooding and withdrawn much like the Beast.

HOWEVER, I think there may be more going on with Vaggie’s parallels to Lucifer and Lilith than just being an extension of Charlie’s own parallels. Namely that a number of her thematic parallels exist INDEPENDENT of her dynamic with Charlie. Like we have Vaggie’s being a Fallen Angel giving her a parallel to Lucifer even before she met Charlie. And if it turns out that Lute has one of those hyper-repressed, homophobic ‘hate-crushes’ on Vaggie and they were kinda-sorta a ‘thing’ back when Vaggie was in the exorcists, then that also basically makes Vaggie the Lilith to Lute’s Adam.

Not to mention we have the strong potential for things like Vaggie and Lucifer bonding over their shared experiences as fallen angels, as well as parallels drawn between Vaggie’s hiding her past from Charlie and Lilith’s own secrets.

All in all, while I think it’s still too early to call where exactly the story may be going with these character parallels, I do think we should be expecting and keeping in mind that Charlie and Vaggie seem to be paralleling BOTH Lucifer and Lilith in fairly equal measure.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin analysis #hazbin theory #charlie morningstar #vaggie #lucifer morningstar #hazbin lilith #lilith morningstar #chaggie #lucilith #character parallels #relationship parallels #duel parallels

96 notes · View notes

jahayla-parker · 5 months

Text

Closure : Kaz Brekker x Reader

Description: 5.7k wc, Kaz’s wife seeks help from Nina to allow Kaz to get some closure surrounding Jordie’s death. Hurt-comfort, fluff, slight angst (turned fluff), healing.

Warnings: typical Six of Crows and Grishaverse warnings, mentions of death and funerals and related topics, mentions of trauma and injuries, etc. Again, typical SoC warnings.

Out of the corner of her eyes, y/n watched Kaz closely. She could tell her husband was trying to act as if it wasn’t impacting him. But y/n knew better. She could see the distant look in his eyes as he tried to focus on the numbers for the Crow Club’s books.

Kaz owned his family’s farm back in Lij; under an alias, of course. He’d always had eyes on the land even while he stayed in the Barrel. But once y/n was informed of the existence of the property, she had begun to take the occasional trip to the area to check on it for herself/themselves rather than relying on Kaz’s intel. Y/n often did these trips as part of a journey to visit the other crows. Y/n would always update Kaz to the state of the property once she returned home. Over time, she also began tending to the land in small increments; planting the seeds from Kaz for her favorite flower in the planter boxes she bought from a market in Ketterdam, sweeping the wind blown debris from the rooms of the little house on the property, etc.

Kaz had made the occasional trip back as well, but primarily relied on y/n’s detailed descriptions, stories, and analysis of their place in Lij. It was hard for him to go back; for many reasons. But, he couldn’t deny he missed it. He also couldn’t -though he certainly tried- ignore the way he felt when he and y/n were on the farm in Lij. It was uncomfortable in the sense that it was unfamiliar. But it was otherwise peaceful and homely. Not that it mattered. Kaz’s life was here; in Ketterdam, in the Barrel.

The couple had talked about moving at some point, but the conversation would always fade out when it came to what they’d be leaving behind. While most of their closest friends had all parted from the Barrel and Ketterdam entirely, there was still something -or someone- they’d be leaving behind. Jordie. Kaz’s late older brother who was resting under the cold harbor of Ketterdam.

While Kaz felt guilty for not being able to leave the area, he knew y/n more than understood his reasoning. Yet, that didn’t stop him from having to face his racing thoughts on the matter tonight. He felt as if his head was spinning. He wanted to offer his wife a comfortable life, a life in his childhood town, where she would be safe and free to do as she wished, where he might be able to put his past behind him. After all, he’d gotten his vengeance on Rollins. The only thing keeping Kaz here in the grungy streets of the Barrel -other than the easy influx of Kruge, which he could surely find a way to continue if he left- was his brother. It was foolish. Jordie was dead. He’d died long ago and he wasn’t coming back. Kaz’s staying here wouldn’t change that. Yet it felt wrong to leave the place his brother was, even if it was the same place that had taken that brother from him.

“I’m off to see Mila Jandersdat,” y/n said, breaking the silence.

Kaz smirked at the unnecessary use of Nina’s undercover name. “Is that so?” “Well, tell Ms. Jandersdat that she still owes me a new hat,” he commented lightly, referencing the one the Grisha had stolen on her last departure from Ketterdam.

Y/n laughed. “I’ll be sure to let the Fjerdan Prince know that their spouse is still indebted to you,” she teased, leaning down. Upon noticing Kaz didn’t react in a way that told her stop, she placed a kiss to his cheek.

Kaz looked up from his desk as y/n turned to move towards the door. He grabbed her hands in his bare ones. “Take my coat,” he instructed.

“It’s not that co-” y/n protested futilely.

“Take my coat,” Kaz echoed.

Y/n huffed lightly but nodded. “I’ll be back after the bakery, you’ll sure you don’t want to join?” She waited patiently for Kaz to answer. For the first time ever when asking that question, she actually hoped he’d say no. He usually did, and she hoped that was the case again today as she wanted to talk to Nina alone.

Kaz rewarded y/n’s kindness with a small but appreciative smile. He shook his head. “The ledger needs work,” he mumbled vaguely. In reality, he was just too in-his-head to handle anything else. He squeezed his wife’s hands faintly as he watched her depart.

Y/n swallowed another sip of her lemonade as she prepared to switch the tone of the visit she was having with Nina. She’d let her friend catch her up on everything she had done since they last saw each other. But now, y/n needed to ask her for a favor. “Okay, so…,” y/n began with an audible shift in her tone.

“Mmm?” Nina questioned knowingly as she glanced up from her plate.

“I need a favor,” y/n explained cautiously. She bit her lip as she waited for Nina’s reaction.

Nina sighed. “I don’t do Brekker favors anymore,” she reminded y/n.

“He’s not asking, I am,” y/n clarified. “Although he does want his hat back, or a new one in place of it,” she added to break the tension.

Nina laughed loudly. “Okay, if it’s for you, sure,” she accepted.

“I haven’t even asked,” y/n pointed out, “you don’t know what it is I’m asking you to do”.

“Doesn’t matter,” Nina winked.

Y/n giggled and shook her head with a timid smile gracing her lips.

“What is it?” Nina questioned, taking another bite of her cinnamon waffle.

“It involves your newly acquired skill set,” y/n mumbled quietly.

“Go on,” Nina urged, waving her fork at her friend.

Y/n bit her lip nervously and sighed. “I need nothing more than help to locate someone…” she explained, hoping to minimize the weight of her request.

“Someone deceased,” Nina clarified knowingly.

“Yes,” y/n acknowledged.

“Why?” The Grisha questioned as she swallowed another large bite.

“Closure…” y/n explained vaguely. She knew Kaz was needlessly embarrassed that he didn’t even know the exact placement of his late brother’s body in Ketterdam. Y/n had once suggested he visit Jordie to help him heal, even if he didn’t believe that kind of thing. Only, that was when she learned how deep Kaz’s guilt went. He didn’t know Jordie’s exact location and he blamed himself for that.

Y/n didn’t feel like she was crossing any boundaries. Nina already knew of Kaz’s brother; they all did by now. Plus, Y/n had asked Kaz before if he would want to know where Jordie was. In doing so, she learned he did want to know, just hadn’t initiated the process; an area where he often needed a push or assistance with.

It didn’t take long for y/n to explain to Nina what she needed from her. Nor did it take long for Nina to put her new skills to work in locating Jordie’s body. Y/n had of course gone with her, and she was pleased Kaz didn’t have to experience that part. While Nina’s skills were impressive, they were also a bit disturbing when you knew the deceased person she was calling out to. Nevertheless, Nina succeeded. Meaning y/n could now offer her husband the chance for more closure when it came to his past.

Y/n and Kaz were donned in matching black overcoats, walking with their elbow linked, as they made their way through the streets of the Barrel. Y/n had informed her husband of her discovery and offered for him to go alone or for her to go with him, leaving it up to him. Kaz didn’t directly ask her to go with him, but he made it clear that was what he wanted. So, the couple had departed from the Crow Club and were now watching as people parted to make way for the Barrel’s most powerful couple.

Y/n silently waited beside Kaz as he stood staring out at the water in the exact place Nina stated she located Jordie. It was clear he was trying not to get emotional, his eyes twinkling as he fought back tears. “You don’t have to do this,” y/n whispered supportively, “or we can break it up, I just thought maybe-”.

“No, it’s fine,” Kaz muttered shortly. After a few seconds of silence, he sighed. “You…” he began, trying to find a way to properly thank y/n for bringing him this chance. “I need to do this,” he admitted. “I should’ve years ago”.

Y/n shook her head. “That’s not how this works,” she defended.

The tears slowly trickling down Kaz’s face softened the intense sensation of drowning that filled his chest as he stared silently at the water where Jordie’s body allegedly was. The flashbacks that played in his mind were powerful, but less severe than they had been when he first started getting them years ago. And the now-comforting feeling of y/n’s hand in his kept him tethered to reality, to the moment; keeping him from succumbing to the feeling of drowning.

Y/n watched as Kaz kept his eyes closed for awhile. She didn’t say a word. She just watched his facial expression, listened to his breathing pattern, and kept a close eye on his overall state.

When he was done standing on the shore before his brother’s sunken body, Kaz turned to his wife. “Thank you,” he whispered shakily to her.

“Course,” y/n said, squeezing Kaz’s hand. She could tell he was still fighting off the rising water in his chest so she moved her hand to his jacket-covered elbow. “Let’s get you home,” she suggested warmly as she guided them back to the Slat.

“Th-” Kaz cleared his throat as he looked up from his dresser to make eye contact with y/n through the mirror. “Thank you,” he whispered gruffly. He took a long deep breath before adding, “for having me go”.

“Of course,” y/n hummed softly. She watched Kaz’s facial expressions in the mirror as she pushed her boots off with her feet. “So, it helped then?” She asked, trying to confirm she’d read through his faux stoic expression properly.

Kaz shifted his gaze back to his dresser as he stripped his outer layers off. “I know he’s gone,” he stated simply. But, his shoulders loosened and lowered as he nodded slowly. “But… yes, it did.”

“I’m glad,” y/n said and smiled tenderly as she crawled into their bed. She scooted under the covers as she analyzed Kaz as he prepared for the night. She could see that while it would still take time, today’s adventure had initiated a healing journey that hadn’t truly begun before now.

“You can tell Ms. Jandersdat that I don’t need a new hat,” Kaz mumbled as he approached the bed. He noticed y/n’s grin and small chuckle. He smirked and took a deep breath before he carefully slid into his side of the bed. “Goodnight, y/n/n,” he whispered as he uncharacteristically let his left hand cross the space between them under the sheets and rest atop y/N’s.

Y/n sighed as she searched the last possible place in the Slat that Kaz might have been. She’d already searched the Crow Club before she headed here. Yet, she still hadn’t located him. As she thought about where else her husband might have snuck off to, she thought back through what had transpired in the first place.

They had been sitting together in Kaz’s office this evening when he got word that there’d been an incident. One of his lead Dregs had informed him that this young orphan boy had somehow managed to find himself getting mixed up with Kaz’s crew. He hadn’t reacted well. The young orphan would be fine, but Kaz had set clear rules for his Dregs and this was a violation. He had stormed off to chew out his crew over the mistake. Y/n had been beside him as he lashed out at the Dregs and informed them of the sanctions for such an incident. Meaning she was there when he announced that as part of their consequences he was going to be taking their wages for the week. He’d grumbly whispered to her as he requested that she take the sum of their wages and ensure the boy’s hospital stay was paid for (and give him the remainder as compensation). When y/n had returned from doing so, she noticed Kaz’s disappearance.

Y/n knew as soon as they heard of the incident what Kaz would feel and how he’d react. She also knew why. The situation was far too familiar and personal for him. So, it hadn’t surprised her when he was not in the Slat nor the Crow Club when she arrived. However, it wasn’t until she remembered his behavior over the last several weeks that she realized where he must be.

Y/n buttoned her coat as she made her way to the harbor. She knew Kaz had to be there. It made sense when she recalled how often he’d been coming here since the day two months ago when she and Nina located Jordie. She had made a makeshift generic headstone (knowing Kaz wouldn’t want people to know the meaning or significance of the place much less connecting it to him) for the site so that if Kaz wished to return on his own he could do so easily; even if he was distracted by the emotional turmoil in his mind upon doing so. She and Kaz had went to the site together multiple times. And in the last few weeks he’d even gone by himself. It would make sense that today’s triggers would bring him back to the site that he now found some kind of connection and healing at.

Y/n saw him instantly. It didn’t matter that Ketterdam was pitch black at his hour and that Kaz was dressed head to toe in coal black clothing. She’d recognize Kaz’s silhouette and shadow no matter what. She watched him closely as she approached. He’d been getting better at opening up to her and even to himself since first coming here. But there was only so much he could do while staying stoic and keeping up his menacing image for the public. So it was no surprise that even tonight he was still keeping a wall up. He was shaking slightly, his breathing sharp and fists clenched. She could see he was still furious over what had happened, but the shine of the moon highlighted the fact his eyes were more moist than normal. It was progress, he was letting himself grieve finally. She debated about whether to approach or just say back and let him have his space. But, before she could determine what the best option was, Kaz answered it for her.

“You do not need to spy on your husband from the shadows,” Kaz muttered, his fists unraveling as he pictured the bashful expression that was likely gracing y/n’s face over his teasing comment. His back was to her as he stayed looking out at the harbor, but he heard her approaching. He extended the hand not holding his cane to the side, taking hold of her hand when she reached him. His eyes flickered over at her as he quickly scanned her to ensure she was dressed properly for the cold weather and had brought her weapon with her. After his eyes took in that she was wearing the thick winter coat he’d gotten her last year, long pants, boots, and saw the outline of her weapon in her coat pocket, he let out a silent sigh of relief. “It was a joke,” Kaz muttered as he watched y/n’s face.

“What?” Y/n questioned, her head turning to face Kaz.

“My comment, when you arrived,” Kaz explained. “It was a joke”. He squeezed her hand as he interlaced their fingers. “I mean, you don’t have to spy, but-”

“I wasn’t spying,” y/n argued.

Kaz lifted his brows teasingly as he gazed knowingly at y/n.

Y/n chuckled and shook her head. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to be alone,” she explained.

Kaz hummed. “I always want to be alone,” he admitted, looking back at the water. “Especially when… feeling like… well… feeling,” he simplified. He shook his head as his gaze returned to his wife’s presence. “Unless it’s you,” Kaz confessed, his cold cheeks thawing briefly as he blushed madly.

Y/n grinned at Kaz and squeezed his hand. “I’ll keep that in mind,” she promised. It was an indirect vow to fight off any uncertainty on how to proceed when Kaz was dealing with something. But, they both knew what it meant. Kaz was healing, he was being more open and honest, more needing of and seeking out his wife’s love and support when he needed it instead of shutting down and trying to push her away.

“What do you think would help you get closure?” Y/n questioned once she saw the faint calmness take over Kaz’s face.

“This helped,” Kaz admitted, referred to y/n having gotten Nina to help find Jordie’s body.

“I know, I can see it,” y/n hummed as she tenderly smiled over at Kaz. “And, I’m glad”. Y/n rubbed her thumb over the back of Kaz’s hand. “I know you don’t have faith or a religious belief of any kind, but,” she hesitated briefly, continuing only as Kaz squeezed her hand, “do you think a burial might help?”

“What?” Kaz croaked out in confusion and shock. He wasn’t sure what he expected y/n to say as a possible solution. But, he’d never anticipated that.

“Burying him,-” y/n began cautiously.

Kaz stiffened as he glared out at the water before them. “He is buried,” he pointed out.

“Right, yeah, no I know, Kaz,” y/n agreed sympathetically. “But, you hate the harbor, and well, water,” she frowned, “even outside of this, it’s distressing for you”. She sighed as she gazed out at the water as well. “So I thought maybe… I’d suggest that you think about an underground burial for him”. Y/n knowingly moved her hand around in Kaz’s hold when he tensed so that he wouldn’t feel as if he was holding a cold & stiff hand. “You’d still have a place to visit him, and-” she explained slowly.

“I can’t,” Kaz told y/n, cutting her off.

Y/n analyzed her husband’s face as she thought over her next words. “You wouldn’t have to see anything,” she promised. She knew he’d never admit such a vulnerability out loud while they were out in the public, but she knew it was likely one of his hesitations; Kaz already had Jordie’s dead body engraved in his mind, he didn’t need to see it again. “It would be done in secret, in the background, just Nina and I, we’d handle the-” y/n elaborated.

Kaz suddenly sharply turned to face y/n. His anxious eyes scanned her face as he tried to read if she was lying. “You’d do that?” He asked.

Y/n nodded affirmatively. “If you wanted, yes,” she promised. “I’m not expecting you to want to see, touch, or otherwise deal with any of this, Kaz”.

Kaz nodded slowly. He turned from y/n as he thought about her proposal. After a few moments of silence, he shook his head. “I can’t.”

“Okay,” y/n replied, squeezing Kaz’s hand. “That’s fine,” she assured him. “I knew you might not want to, I figured I’d offer but-”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want that,” Kaz spoke sharply. He closed his eyes painfully tight and sighed as he regretted his tone. His regret increased as he noticed the way his wife paused. Kaz took a deep but shaky breath before continuing. “It’s just…” he sighed, “Lij”.

“What about it?” Y/n questioned delicately as she scanned her husband’s profile.

Kaz’s eyes flickered off the water and towards his feet. He sighed and shook his head. “That’s where we should be.” He lifted his gaze up to meet y/N’s as he added, “you love the house and-”.

“Kaz,” y/n sighed.

Kaz shook his head softly, a silent signal for y/n to wait for him to explain before trying to confront him. “I want to be there too,” he confessed, watching his wife’s face for her reaction. “For us to be there. Together.” He tried not to cringe at how broken his words were coming out. “Not just for a trip. But for our…h-ho-….” Kaz murmured in a hushed voice.

“Our home?” Y/n clarified. When Kaz nodded stiffly, she smiled softly. This too was a big step for him, in many ways. “I love that idea, you know that.”

Kaz broke his eye contact with y/n as she looked back out at the water. His face took on a saddened expression. “I can’t ignore what happened here or move on,” he said remorsefully.

“No one says you have to forget or ignore it,” y/n commented, squeezing Kaz’s slightly trembling hand. “If you wanted to do the burial,” she began carefully.

“If we did the burial,” Kaz sighed, “we’d still be stuck here or I’d have to come back”. He shook his head. “I mean not have to, but-”.

“Kaz,” y/n spoke tenderly in order to stop his rambling. “He could come with us,” she suggested.

“What?” Kaz whispered.

Y/n rubbed the back of Kaz’s hand with her thumb. “Nina and I could get him back to Lij,” she offered. “He could have a proper burial”. She hesitated but continued with her thought, “a funeral even”.

“No mourners, no-” Kaz griped.

“Kaz,” y/n giggled lightly. She smiled faintly as her giggle made Kaz’s lip curl. “This is different,” she explained.

“No funeral,” Kaz replied firmly. Despite his gruff voice, he squeezed his wife’s hand as a silent thank you for the offer.

“Okay,” y/n accepted easily.

“But…” Kaz trailed off.

“But?” Y/n pressed gently.

Kaz took a deep breath and sighed. “Perhaps.. I do owe it to him,” he began slowly. “To finally get him out of these waters”.

“Kaz-” y/n frowned.

Kaz sighed but nonetheless accepted y/n’s unspoken response. He revised his wording as he knew why he was being scolded. “I owe it to him… to let him rest,” he rephrased quietly. “Even if just his body”.

Y/n’s lips curled minutely. “Okay,” she nodded. “We can arrange that”.

Kaz’s grip on y/n’s hand tightened unconsciously as he thought about the arrangement more. “I don’t…. I can’t see his-” he mumbled.

“You won’t,” y/n promised. She knew he meant he couldn’t face seeing his late brother’s body. And she had never intended for him to. It was an easy promise. She and Nina would get Jordie to Lij for Kaz without Kaz having to be further traumatized in the process.

Y/n’s eyes flickered between the wooden door that lead down to the cabin of Inej’s ship and the wooden casket that was being loaded on board.

Everything from their home was already packed and ready to depart via Inej’s ship to travel to the other end of Kerch; to Lij. Everything but Jodie. Y/n had sequestered her husband Kaz below deck with Wylan and Jesper to keep him company. Meanwhile, Nina, Inej, and several clueless Dregs, loaded Jordie’s coffin onto the ship. The engraved dark mahogany casket with elaborate metal hinges and personalized engraved metallic plating that was now encasing and hiding Jordie’s body had been made by Jesper and Wylan at y/n’s request. She and Nina had seen to getting Jordie’s body from the harbor to the casket undetected. Well, Nina managed Jordie’s body and ensured there was no lingering contagion nor decaying smell. While y/n had been on lookout in the immediate vicinity of the scene. And now Inej was helping them transport the unlabeled casket to Lij. It had been a full team effort and y/n was beyond grateful that her friends were so willing to help her with this.

Once the casket was secured, hidden from sight, and covered with a weather proof sheet, Y/n dismissed the clueless Dregs. She thanked the girls as she made her way down to the cabin below deck. She gave Kaz a small supportive smile in greeting as his eyes snapped towards her upon hearing her enter. She made her way over to the boys and sat down beside Kaz.

Kaz watched y/n fight her visible exhaustion as their friends chatted about their respective experiences in their new lives. He stared expectantly at her profile, waiting for her to glance his way in a silent question as to if she could rest against him. Only, she didn’t seem to notice. Instead, Kaz watched her eyes blink at an absurdly slow pace as she tried to fight a yawn. He stifled a chuckle, the suppressed desire to grin showing up as a faint smirk. He shook his head and nudged y/n. Kaz gave her a knowing look, pleased when she quickly comprehended his request and rested her head on his shoulder.

“Ready to give all this up?” Y/n asked in a whisper as her friends listened to Inej informing them of her latest adventures.

Kaz seemed to falter in shock. But, as he looked over at his wife, he nodded confidently. A smirk graced his lips as he murmured, “I’m always ready”.

Y/n giggled and playfully rolled her eyes. She leaned into his shoulder further as she smiled around at their friends. “Hey guys,” she whispered, quietly interrupting the conversation. When they turned to face her, she was greeted with several grins and knowing smirks given her current positioning with Kaz. “Thank you all for coming to help us move,” y/n hummed.

“You both helped us during ours,” Wylan commented with a smile.

“Well, y/n did,” Jesper corrected smugly, “Kaz just stood around”.

Kaz shot Jesper a light glare. “I was supervising,” he stated.

Y/n laughed loudly, covering her mouth with her hand when Kaz’s gaze snapped down at her questioningly. She giggled behind her hand as she tried to stifle her laughter. She lowered her hand and gave Kaz an innocent grin, making the corners of his lips curl up as he playfully shook his head at her.

———

Y/n made her way back down to the lower deck of Inej’s ship. She’d just gotten back from checking on the burial site. Earlier she’d arranged for one of the workers who’d been tending to the farm while they were away due a grave site prior to the crows’ arrival. Y/n had ensured that it was completed and was now returning to her husband as he waited below deck.

Y/n’s eyes met Kaz’s and she then glanced arrived the room in silent communication with him. She watched as Kaz nodded in understanding and acceptance that the others in the room, namely Jesper, was going to hear whatever she was about to say. She nodded back and walked to his side. “He’s in a casket, Kaz,” she explained tenderly. Y/n spared a look at Kaz’s hands and realized he must’ve caught on to her uncertainty as he randomly flipped his palm up and extended his hand towards her. She gave him a small smile and took his hand in hers. “We’re going to move him to the burial site,” she explained slowly, rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb. Y/n had a feeling she knew the answer to her question, but she didn’t want to not offer him the chance. “Did you want to come up and,-?” She began quietly.

“No,” Kaz replied stiffly as his body tensed.

“You don’t want to watch him go into,-” Jesper began to ask, not noticing the look y/n was giving him.

“No,” Kaz repeated gruffly. His hand tightened in y/n’s hold and he shifted his jaw. He managed a deep breath when her warm hand squeezed his lovingly.

“I know it’s hard,” Wylan said sympathetically. “But, it’s the only time-,” he argued, squinting in confusion at the realization y/n was shooting daggers at him.

“That’s enough,” y/n stated firmly. She shot her husband a subtle sympathetic look. She squeezed Kaz’s hand again, her thumb grazing the back of it as she went to move. She nodded her head at the others in signal for them to follow her.

———

“That was really beautiful, y/n,” Inej commented supportively as their group made their way back to the farmhouse.

Y/n smiled appreciatively at her friend. She and most of the other crows had all gone with her to help her bury Jordie’s casket and body. She intentionally buried him beside this one specific tree she recalled Kaz previously telling her a childhood story about. It was one of the few childhood memories Kaz actually had. While it was likely a story Jordie had passed down to Kaz, given Dirtyhands would’ve been too young to recall anything from his time here on his own, that almost made the location even more sentimental.

While y/n and the other crows respectfully buried Kaz’s late brother, Jesper had stayed behind to keep Kaz company. Not that Kaz would ever admit to needing or wanting such, even now. But his crows, his found family, knew him well enough.

As the group entered y/n and Kaz’s new home, Y/n greeted Jesper with the same appreciative grin she’d given the others after they helped with the burial. “Alright, so,” she murmured as her black boots echoed on the tiled flooring under her feet. “I say we unpack the bedroom stuff first?” Y/n asked, looking at her husband for his input, knowing Kaz wouldn’t want to talk about what she had just finished doing.

“That’s important,” Inej agreed, quickly picking up on y/n’s intentions.

“I’d say so,” Jesper smirked smugly as he winked over at the couple.

Y/n rolled her eyes. “Not like that, you degenerate,” she laughed. “I meant so that we would have something to sleep in. We can unpack over time but I kinda would like something to lay on,” she joked as she took her husband’s left hand in hers.

“Lay on… while wearing what?” Jesper teased as he wriggled his eyebrows.

Kaz used his unoccupied hand to smack Jesper upside the head as he also shot him a look.

“Whaaat?” Jesper whined as he held his head. He looked between y/n and Kaz as she parted from Kaz as she made her way over to the moving boxes.

“What do you mean what?!” Kaz remarked, his eyes scrutinizing his friend.

“Wylan doesn’t care,” Jesper defended, rubbing the back of his head. “He knows I’m joking,” he laughed with a shrug.

“I don’t care,” Kaz remarked simply as he waved the comment off dismissively. “Don’t talk about my wife like that,” he ordered. From his periphery, he saw the grin that formed on y/n’s face as the title ‘wife’ left his lips. But his scolding gaze never left Jesper.

Y/n walked back over to the bickering boys and rubbed Kaz’s back through his coat. “You heard him,” she said as she smirked at Jesper before she passed by them with a box in her hand.

“Y/n,” Jesper groaned loudly. “Help me out, it was a joke,” he whined with a dramatic pout.

“You’re on your own, Jes,” y/n chuckled from the hall.

Kaz continued to stare as Jesper turned back around hesitantly. He stifled a chuckle as the sharpshooter gave him a faux innocent expression. Kaz shook his head as he brushed past him on his way to help his wife with the boxes she had been carrying.

———

“If you keep smiling so much Brekker, you might erase your hard earned scowl lines,” Nina teased with a smug grin as she watched her friends who were snuggled up on the couch in their new place.

The group had all been making playful comments about how happy Kaz looked. But, it hadn’t caused the man to part from his wife’s side. Instead, he just teased them back or lightheartedly glared at the remarks throughout the evening.

As Kaz turned to face Zenik, his eyes caught sight of window and he realized that it was now after dusk. “On that note, I think you should be on your way,” he murmured.

“Kaz,” y/n scolded with a laugh. She shook her head and tugged on his arm she had linked with hers.

Kaz chuckled as he gazed down at his wife. “What?” He questioned with pretend confusion.

“He’s just playing coy, we know he loves us being here,” Nina winked. “But, we probably should head out before it gets too late,” she acknowledged.

Y/n smiled at their friends as they gathered just outside of her and Kaz’s front door for final goodbyes. She quickly parted from her place at her husband’s hip as she went to give everyone a hug. “Thank you all, again,” she smiled. “Please feel free to come visit, anytime,” y/n offered, returning to Kaz’s side.

Kaz gently set one of his hands on y/n’s far hip once she was back beside him. “But, write first,” he said stoically, despite the playful glint in his eyes. “Otherwise, you risk finding yourself staring down the wrong end of a barrel,” he warned.

“We know, we know,” Jesper smirked. He and Kaz exchanged knowing glances as the group all said they goodbyes.

———

Y/n watched from the window of their new home as Kaz sat beside Jordie’s burial site marker. If he’d visited before today, she hadn’t seen it. But, she was proud of him visiting the area after having only been here less than a week.

The tree and connected burial site were far enough away from the house that y/n had to squint to see much of anything from this far away. But she didn’t need to. She was simply proud he was finally allowing himself to grieve the loss of his brother after all this time.

Y/n wasn’t naive. She knew there still had a long way to go. That Kaz still had a lot to work through. She knew it might be difficult along the way but she was happy they were here. Kaz could now rest. He’d exacted his revenge on Pekka and now he’d helped his brother find rest back home. So, while they’ll still earned some income from the club, Kaz could finally have a life that wasn’t not so hard on his injured leg or traumatized mind; one where he could find closure and peace. And he deserved that.

Taglist: @dil3mma @directioner5life @ell0ra-br3kk3r @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @winstonthecow22 @alex-kazbrekkersimp @wolfmoonmusic @phoenix666stuff @kentucky-criedfricken @twlegit @valeridarkness @shara-ne @crazyhearttragedy @opheliaofficial07 @historynerd77 @missdreamofendless @nikfigueiredo @el-de-phi @adalia-jaycee

Kaz Brekker Navigation

Six of Crows Navigation

Grishaverse Navigation

Book Boyfriends Navigation

Freddy Carter Navigation

My Main Masterlist (All My Works) Navigation

167 notes · View notes

viihoff · 7 months

Text

How does Astarion and Tav's relationship develop during their romance? A little analysis and a really long post, part 1 of 2, first and second Acts.

Please note that this is an interpretation. Your Tav's relationships with Astarion might evolve in a different way, it's a mix of both canon and headcanon material. I just love analyzing people and writing stuff.

Act 1.

During this time, Astarion's in survival mode. Being thrown into the world, unknowing if he's free of Cazador's will or not, if he's being chased or not, Astarion resorts to the skeleton of his behavioral pattern - manipulation. He cannot trust Tav, both because he's a vampire (and vamps don't have a good rep, of course), and because the centuries he spent in servitude, deprived of any hope and freedom, thought him to rely on himself, only. He's lost, scared, bewildered. Astarion is drunk with the sense of freedom, but he doesn't know when or how it might end, what's out there for him, and what to do. Seeing Tav, he latches on to them, and starts to plan how to get the most out of them.

So, feeling where the wind's blowing, and seeing Tav as a solidified leader of the group, Astarion starts playing his game. He tries to appear charming and flirts with Tav (and sometimes not only them, but also Gale, Wyll, etc, he needs to have his options open) despite not being whatsoever close to them. It might appear, from Tav's perspective, that Astarion's just like that - overly flirty, promiscuous, a down to earth guy who seeks the simple pleasures. And, maybe, genuinely likes them, why not. But, of course, Astarion doesn't. He actively acts on the persona he created, not willing to share his true feelings yet. He might feel sympathy towards certain Tav's behaviors, like being self-serving, but he doesn't trust them. Again, yet. Even during the first and second sex scenes with Astarion, as he confirms in Act 3 if you didn't get his confession, it was only a transaction for him. His body for your loyalty and a faint chance of you being enamored enough not to stab Astarion in his back.

This is the reason why I don't believe that Astarion develops a crush on Tav in the 1st Act. He prayed for 200 years to the gods for him to be saved, of course they won't send an angel now who would magically sort his shit out for him and basically save him from Cazador, will they? It would be really unfair, after all these years, and totally unrealistic. So, everything he does is an act, confirmed to me by the way Petras acts when you meet him in Act 3. Same mannerism, same learned by heart 'honeyed words' Astarion uses on Tav to lure them in. The way he talks, gestures, plays with the pitch of his voice - Tav's constantly bombarded with the best tactics Astarion has developed to lure people in. There's only a number of times when's genuine - when you reject him, and when he's bitching during the cutscenes and over some of your choices. Right now, the only feeling Astarion's is comfortable to share is anger and mild dissatisfaction. All of his pain is saved for later.

I'm confident to say that spending the night with Tav was a 'duty' of Astarion's, as he himself believed, and he didn't get any initial pleasure in doing it. Of course, he did it willingly (and it was good sex, otherwise Tav wouldn't have been screaming Astarion's name into the night for everyone to hear, lol). However, it was no more than a type of physical labor one performs, totally mechanized.

Act 2.

This is when the immediate danger of being turned into a mindflayer is not a real life threat anymore and being 100% reliant on the good will of Tav isn't a survival strategy.

Genuine friendship starts to develop due to the time spent together and the good things Tav is ready to do for Astarion without asking anything in return. Everyone who's upset over not being able to start as friends with Astarion before initiating the romance - rejoice, I really believe it happens this way in the game. No matter the approval, Astarion begins to warm up to Tav and other companions only in Act 2, feeling comfortable and experiencing true camaraderie for the first time in his life. I say that because I believe that most of the bonding is happening behind the scenes, and the only thing we see is the byproduct. You cease to be a group of survivals in Act 2 and become a real team.

Thus, Astarion begins to feel safe. Not only thanks to Tav being compassionate towards him UNCONDITIONALLY, but because everyone else in your band is ready to protect him and one another. Astarion finds true safety, and, thanks to that, survival mode is finally off.

His mental capacities are finally free to start not only caring about his immediate survival (because he's surrounded by friends, and I don't care how apathetic companions act towards Astarion in his spawn ending, this shit is the result of time crunch, not the way the band would really behave, I'm sure of it), but observe. He sees the person before him, Tav, who does things and doesn't ask shit in return from him, who's genuinely compassionate and kind, and he finally stops viewing this as a weakness. Why? Because it was proven to him by Tav's actions that being a good person is a real life strategy and doesn't always leave you weaker than you were before, but stronger, with more allies and resources than before.

By observing Tav, Astarion sees and understands that there are people who can care for him, and they don't get crashed by the big bad world which is cruel and actively acts against you.

No, the world is indifferent, and shit happens because people choose to act like that. Cazador was a cruel monster to Astarion because he chose to, and Tav cares for him and stands for him because they chose to. There are people who he can trust.

This is the point when Astarion cracks. I believe that he falls for Tav not for their looks or certain temperament (this is the reason why you can romance him as a gnome who he is racist towards, lmao), but they way Tav treats him. He falls for Tav's protecting and kind nature towards him, and after that, I think, he starts seeing beauty in the looks, certain character quirks and stuff like that.

After you helped him decipher his scars and/or protected him from the blood merchant, all of his walls are down. He's a cup full of sheer admiration and gratitude, and, when he confesses, he still doesn't understand that he's in love. He thanks Tav for being there for him, and although he doesn't know what he feels or wants, he enjoys having Tav around him. Being with Tav gave him the strength to believe that good things can happen to him, too. Despite still being in danger from Cazador, he's finally hopeful enough to desire something beyond being away from his master.

He wants revenge. He wants to finally stop pretending. He wants closure. He wants to move on. And he wants Tav.

He wants to treat them the same way they treat him. He finally has the capacity to give back the kindness, because he was given enough of it for him to spare.

And then we move to Act 3, but I will do this part some next time, because this post is already ungodly long. I will also write about the way Astarion's relationship with Durge evolves and how it is a bit different from a standard romance.

Cheers, vampire lovers.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #astarion x tav #text post #next time I will also include some Durge analysis #cause the relationship there is a bit different #you're more of on an equal footing there #I must have made so many mistakes writing this #sorry English is not my first language

228 notes · View notes

triforce-of-mischief · 16 days

Text

moving forward thoughts and analysis

all art credit to jojo, read and reblog the update here

legend probably thought that ddr was a special bonding moment (which it was), and he might've wondered if anybody else knew before him (which they did), but he still doesn't seem happy that he was out of the loop at all. even if he was one of the first to know, he didn't realize that this was a shared secret among the others

it's SO good to see some warriors + twilight brotherly bonding again, they make a strong case for stealing the show today

i've got an entire post in the works breaking down twilight and wild's relationship, i think this is finally the update to finish it off so stay tuned for that

legend is still grumpy As Heck, which isn't like how he's been acting. i'm curious as to why, and i bet we'll learn before long

big applause for sky, the only one 100% focused on their actual objective

it is kinda hilarious that instead of taking the literal veteran's word for it, wild has to justify himself from the eldest (who only has 2 quests and a civil war under his belt)

we're overdue for some four + wind bonding pleeeeeeeease

what's on your mind, old man... is it so surprising that more than one zelda had to disguise herself at one point?

the four in the back have been scattered and shuffling who they walk beside, but warriors and twilight are the only two who have consistently been beside each other

not angry, just sad... four knows the dangers of shadow magic, and he obviously fears what it could do to his friend

legend hasn't seen twilight transform before, and he should at least be relieved that his brother is feeling well enough to do so seeing how fussy legend's been during twilight's recovery. something is definitely bugging him, this is more than his normal attitude

it's been so long, i forgot just how big wolfie is. i bet wind could ride him too, though it would be a bit more of a struggle than four

my guess is that they'll find dink's portal, and i still think that we're going to sky's era next. his storyline has been building up and he's the only link with a zelda and npcs redesigned so far

#linked universe #lu #moving forward #lu analysis #lu twilight #lu warriors #lu legend #lu four #lu time #lu wild #lu sky

124 notes · View notes

where-theres-smoak-2 · 1 month

Text

Paul x Chani Relationship Analysis/Thoughts

If you all thought I was done posting about Dune, I'm not, obsession is still going strong. But this time I want to talk more in depth about Paul and Chani's relationship, and by talk I mean gush and maybe cry a little about it. Their romance is so well written that it really does make you feel a whole spectrum of feelings from fluffy adorableness to heartbreaking devastation.

Right from their very first meeting this relationship is interesting and compelling because of the dreams Paul has of her beforehand, even before he ever sets foot on Arrakis he has visions of her. Because these visions are so intriguing, sometimes being very dreamy and kind of romantic, and sometimes being really disturbing where she is stabbing him and taking his life, just like Paul we ourselves are interested in Chani, in who she is, what these visions are and so it creates an anticipation within the audience for their first meeting long before it happens.

When that first meeting does happen you can see that look of recognition in his eyes. For him this meeting is very different than it is for her. This is the girl he has been dreaming about for a long time now, he tells Mother Mohiam that he has dreamt of her many times, so he's had even more visions than even we have seen. So this moment is one that for him has been long awaited, he already feels a deep connection with her because of those dreams, I would even argue that he already has some romantic feelings for her too, considering the way they look at each other in those dreams and visions. For Chani though, he's a stranger, an outsider and even a threat. I do think that she feels some connection, some intrigue towards him though. She says 'they say you are the Mahdi' so she has heard of him before their meeting and so I think that has piqued her interest, I also suspect, as she isn't a believer herself she felt some negative feelings towards this unknown outsider that people are calling Lisan al gaib. Then she meets Paul and he isn't at all what she was expecting, which I think only makes her more curious about him.

Another really interesting scene between them is right before his duel with Jamis when Chani gives him her crysknife. Despite clearly having no confidence in him, which to be fair to her it did look like a strong desert wind could blow him right over, he was tired and traumatised when they met, she still gave him that blade and I think that is really significant. That blade isn't only sacred to her people but she says that her great-aunt gave it to her, which means it is of personal sentiment to her as well. It's really interesting to me that she chose to give him the blade considering the fact that she doesn't believe in the prophecy and when he is an outsider who she clearly thinks is about to die. I think maybe the reason why is because she has some respect for him because of the way he is protecting his mother and because he stood up as her champion. It's clear that Chani has a lot of respect for fighters, she puts a lot of value in a person based on their skills as a warrior, which makes sense considering her fedaykin background. I think she recognised his bravery in standing up as champion and so she has enough respect for him to want him to die with honour. The best way she can aide him in this is by giving him her own crysknife.

After she gives him the crysknife there is a moment when she turns to leave and he calls her back. You can see that he really wants to say something to her but is struggling to find the words. I love this moment because again it shows how Paul wants to make a connection with her, because of the dreams he had and because he already feels linked to her, but he just doesn't know where to begin to explain it, how do you tell someone that you were dreaming about them before you ever even met them? I also think Paul was maybe looking for a way to ground himself, in most of his visions Chani was acting as a guide for him, she's leading him and showing him the way, so to me it would make sense in this moment when he is confronted with this duel that could end in his death, that he would search for some comfort in her.

Another scene I really love is after he has killed Jamis in the duel, we see him walking through the small crowd of fremen and they are all patting his shoulders showing him honour and respect. There is that really beautiful shot of Chani climbing off the rock, its in slow motion and the wind is blowing causing her clothes and hair to flutter in the wind and it just looks so ethereal. Then it flicks back to Paul continue his walk through the crowd and he's also in slow motion, he looks up at her and their eyes lock on each other. Paul is in a very vulnerable position in this moment, he's still struggling with the death of his father and the massacre of his friends, now he's just killed for the first time and you can see from the look in his eyes that it has effected him deeply, he's devasted. In this moment of vulnerability we are shown him walking towards Chani. In a lot of ways the moment mirrors many of the visions he's had of her, where she is standing some distance away and he approaches her, or follows her. I just love that symbolism of him walking towards her, of her becoming his way. The symbolism is then deepened when Stilgar tells Paul he is one of them now, a life for a life and when the shot switches back to Paul you see Chani at his side. When Jessica then says that Paul has to get off world and Paul tells her no, that his path leads into the desert we are again shown this image of him standing with Chani at his side, this is imagery that continues into the second movie.

The last scene of dune part 1 is Chani showing Paul a fremen riding a sandworm, desert power, before telling him its only the beginning and then continuing to lead him into the desert. I love the little look they exchange and the smile that crosses his face as he looks after her.

One thing I did notice is that throughout part 2 in particular these two are always looking for each other and exchanging these little looks, like they can't help but be drawn to the other. Part 2 is where we really see their romance begin to form and honestly what I love the most about it was how natural it felt.

For Chani the way it grows is through her respect for him as a warrior. I think this is initially what attracts her to him. In the beginning of the movie after he fights the Harkonnens she tells him that he fought well, and you can see that respect begin to grow more. One of my favourite scenes though is the one where they're at Sietch tabr, Paul and his mother are sitting separately from the rest of the fremen and Paul realises there's spice in the food they've been given. When Chani's friend begins to tease Paul, Chani sticks up for him and gives the reasoning that they should give him their respect because he's a good fighter, I just love the look her friend gives her, its so relatable, its that, girl I know what you're about and I know you like this guy, look. I think most of us have had that moment when we realise that our friend has a crush on someone and you can't help but give them that teasing/knowing look. Just 10/10 moment there.

I think another moment when Paul earns Chani's trust and respect is after Jessica drinks the water of life and the two factions of the fremen (believers and non believers) are arguing and Paul pipes up admitting that his mother is trained in poison transmutation. It's clear that Chani doesn't believe that the prophecy is true and that it is something that outsiders use to control her people. So whilst I think it takes her aback when he declares that he is not the Mahdi and that he just wants to fight beside them and learn their ways, it also makes her warm to him even more and begin to trust him. Its why later when Stilgar sends Paul off into the desert and Chani's friend asks her if she cares for him now, she replies that he isn't like the other outsiders, that he's sincere. She had become used to foreigners using her people for their own ends but she sees something different in Paul, which honestly just makes his actions in the end of the movie all the more heartbreaking. This sincerity that she sees in him is what makes her follow him into the desert and help him. This is only a little detail but I do love the little breathy laugh/smile he lets out when he realises its her sitting above him on the sand dune, its cute that he's so happy to see her.

Her teaching him to sandwalk is another really good scene. That moment when she's explaining it to him and then he's like 'well according to my info books' was really hilarious especially the look she gives him, just hush Paul, at least he had the good sense to stop himself. But what is really beautiful about that scene is again that imagery of them being side by side, not only that but seeing them move in sync with each other as he learns from her.

Speaking of beautiful scenes the next one where she is explaining to him how wind traps work and he's just staring at her completely smitten made me melt. Her opening line in this scene is also telling, she says that she is the only one who believes he'll make it to summer. It seems like such a innocent, non descript line but it shows that she now has faith in him, she believes in him, not him as the Mahdi, but him Paul, the person. I also love how it parallels back to part 1 and how she had no faith in him pre his fight with Jamis. The scene is just also so beautifully shot, how her voice fades out as their love theme begins to softly play, we are really shown how Paul is seeing her, how he's just lost in her, and I will never get over the way he looks at her in this scene. I also love that awkward but giddy feeling she clearly gets when she catches him staring at her, like awkward crush feelings where she's feeling a bit shy and overwhelmed but she is also happy that he's looking at her that way because she too is feeling romantic feelings for him. It very much gives early stages of love vibes, when you both have feelings for each other but you haven't acted on them yet, you're still feeling the other out. I could watch this scene a hundred times over and never get tired of it.

However if you told me I could only watch one scene from the movie ever again, it would have to be the scene in the tent after they've attacked the spice harvesters. Everything about this scene is just so perfect. The atmosphere is so jovial and you get such a sense of comradery, you can tell that these people have a deep bond between them and its beautiful to watch Paul find a place among them. When he makes that impassioned speech about how they should strike further north, and if he dies he dies but the others will continue on until the fremen are free, I just love the look on Chani's face, you can literally see her falling deeper in love with him in this moment, she's spellbound by him. I also love how after he has been given his fremen names and everyone gets up to hug him, Chani becomes visibly nervous, you can almost see her thinking in her head, ok girl just stay cool and collected don't let your heart eyes show. It is again playing into that early love stage of a relationship. Then when she does lean in she doesn't fully hug him because she's too nervous too, yet the moment is so charged and full of chemistry, its so obvious that they want to kiss. They also do one of my favourite things a couple can do, I call it the magnet move, when Chani pulls away, Paul instinctively follows her wanting to maintain that closeness, like two magnets on a table, you pull one away and the other follows.

Next comes the big moment, the first kiss. This is another beautifully shot scene, and I know you are probably getting sick of me saying that but I can't help that this film was filled with such artfully done scenes, especially the romance ones, they're just gorgeous to look at, especially with the golden sand lit by the golden sun. But this moment it also very significant because of what happens later in the film, as beautiful as this moment is it sets us up for the devastation that comes later. The scene starts with Paul saying 'I found my way father' which is a call back to the conversation he had with his father in part one where his father tells him its ok to find his own way even if that path isn't as the Duke. We see him remove the ducal ring showing that he is shredding that identity, stepping off that path and instead embracing the fremen way and his fremen identity. What is really interesting is that right before taking the ring off he looks back to see Chani climbing up the sand dune towards him. What follows is basically a conversation about who they each are and where they come from. Chani asks Paul about his own home world and we get a true understanding of just how different their worlds were. They talk about her secret name, Sihaya and how she hates it and its connection to the prophecy, its about claiming your own identity and rejecting the one someone else chose for you. Paul rejects his title of duke and of Madhi and instead chooses to be Paul Maud'dib Usul the fremen. Chani rejects the name that links her to the prophecy and chooses her own path, and at this moment they are both on the same path. They get into a discussion of blood, how he comes from Dukes but that here on Arrakis they are seen as equals. This moment is so important, Paul tells her that he wants to be equal to her and this is the promise that he'll later break. Despite that, in this moment I really do believe that Paul means it and that he is sincere. I also love how sweet their first kiss is, how she is the first to lean in and how she turns to deepen it and how he then wraps his arm around her shoulders to pull her in even closer, its just the perfect first kiss.

Following their first kiss we get a montage of the passing time and again its stunning visually. Just before they kiss Chani tells Paul that maybe she'll show him the way of the fremen/desert and one of the first shots of the montage is literally her showing him the way through the desert. We see them fighting Harkonnens together and we see him growing closer to the fremen. I love the shot where they are standing on the sand dune and Chani leans her head on his shoulder, when it flicks next to the harvesters being brought in, I couldn't help but notice that the balloons carrying the harvesters looked like hearts. Then you have that shot of Paul lowering the telescope and you see his eyes have now turned blue showing that he has fully and truly embraced the fremen and become fremen.

The next scene we see of them after the montage is when Paul wakes from a nightmare on the day he's going to ride a sandworm for the first time. This scene shows us not only that some time has passed but also that their relationship has advanced a lot, they are now sleeping in the same tent and its very domestic. She comforts him as he gains his bearings after the nightmare showing how she has become a source of support for him. Him then telling her about his nightmare also shows the trust they have between them, he feels safe enough to be vulnerable around her, to share his fears with her. When it comes to the moment when he rides the sandworm for the first time its really sweet how worried we see her. She knows that he's just had this nightmare, so naturally when doing something this risky Chani probably would wish he had a good nights rest and was focused. Also I think some of her worry comes from knowing how important this is to Paul and how its the final test for him to become truly fremen. She loves him so she wants him to succeed. I also love that look she gives her friend when she tells Paul to call a big sandworm, but I also love that her friend reassures her and reminds her that Stilgar has taught him well. When Paul succeeds and rides the worm you can see the pure exhilaration on Chani's face, she is so happy for him and so proud of him and you can feel the same sense of triumph she and the other fedaykin feel. But Chani's mood quickly shifts when she sees the other fedaykin go from cheering to praying to Paul, and that worry creeps back in.

Their love scene is one of those scenes that covers a full spectrum of emotions. It's a very tender moment between them and also surprisingly steamy considering the rating. There is this tiny blink and you miss it moment where right after Chani says 'will you always be with me' they both have these little smiles on their faces before Paul replies 'as long as I breathe' honestly its such a tender moment and it really pulls at my heartstrings every time I see it. But then the mood shifts and we can see Chani's fear coming through. It mirrors the tent scene where Paul has his nightmare only this time their roles are reversed, Paul is the one comforting Chani and she is the one that is expressing her fears. Their fears are the same, they both fear the fundamentalists that worship Paul as the Mahdi. Chani recognises the dangers of this blind worship and how its is being spread by Jessica who is fanning the flames. It does kind of feel like Paul is burying his head in the sand a bit here though, he is trying to pretend that he can just ignore this problem but Chani can see that its beginning to grow out of control and that scares her. I think the fact that she asks whether he will always be with her shows that she fears losing him.

The biggest turning point comes though when Paul is reunited with Gurney. For the first half of the film Paul has been adamant and steadfast in rejecting his connections to the house atriedes and instead embracing his new identity as a fremen. But when Gurney shows up he is connection back to his previous life, his previous identity and this clearly worries Chani even though she claims that she trusts Usul. Despite her worry though she still helps Gurney when Paul tells her that he is family. She knows that this new stranger is someone important to Paul and so because she loves Paul and wants what's best for him she swallows down her own concerns and helps Gurney. The situation only gets more tense though when Gurney tells Paul that he knows where the Atreides family atomics are.

Which is when we get the second tent scene where Paul tells Chani about the atomics. Honestly this is another scene that is wrought in tension but where there is a moment or two where there is this tenderness between them too. It's interesting that whilst telling Chani about the atomics Paul is studying the ducal ring, its the first time we see it since he took it off right before their first kiss. It's clear that Chani is becoming more and more scared especially when Paul starts making plans for how he could use the atomics and says the line 'he who can destroy a thing has the real control of it.' She rightly calls him out, reminding him that he promised her that he didn't want power. Then he accuses her of not trusting him and honestly even I found her response a bit harsh, telling him that he's a foreigner just like his friend. I saw some comments, mostly on youtube, complaining that Chani never saw or accepted Paul as fremen, that she always saw him as an outsider, and they use this moment as proof of that. But I don't agree with that view at all, I think Chani's biggest fear is that she will lose Paul to the fundamentalists and that he'll be unable to outrun who he was in the past, the duke of arrakis, the future of house Atreides, he would no longer be her equal, be the man she has come to love, its because she does see him as one of them that she fears him becoming someone else. I do think that this is where Chani starts to put some walls back up, she has that little feeling of doubt creep in, she's feeling unsettled. However her calling him a foreigner really hurts him and he denies it. You can see Chani's facial expression shift when she turns to look at him. At first she looks angry and like she is about to throw off another snipe at him, but then she sees his pain and instead reassures him, telling him he wasn't to her but he is to the desert. I think Gurney showing back up has reminded Chani of how they come from different places, how he was once a duke. But Paul also recognises Chani's fears and tries to reassure her, reminding her that his loyalty is to her and the fremen and its them that's behind his motivations. Chani seems to be convinced but that tension between them still lingers.

Things only get worse when Paul has that dream about Chani dying and awakes to Sietch Tabr under attack. There is that heartstopping moment where Paul can't find Chani and you can see the very real fear when he shouts out her name. His and the audience's fear only increase when we locate Chani but she's standing on a dune exactly as the vision showed and we get that mirroring image of Paul running up the dune towards her and you can't help but panic that this is his vision coming true. The look of complete relief on Paul's face when he reaches Chani and she is ok is only momentary because it quickly turns to horror when they see the artillery hitting the Sietch. But once again it is to each other that they turn for support. I think the attack on Sietch Tabr has a huge effect on Paul's motivations going forward, he says to Gurney that he never saw it coming. Despite all of the nightmares and visions he is plagued with, this was something that he didn't see coming, that he couldn't stop and that is frustrating to him, he thinks if he did see it then maybe he could've stopped it and I think its the same with the vision of Chani's death, his visions have always been murky and unclear and as he is losing more and his fear is growing it makes drinking the water of life more tempting. What is that line that Jessica is always saying, fear is the mind killer. I think the attack on Sietch Tabr and the vision of Chani's death happening simultaneously is what finally causes Paul's fear to take over and that is when he truly becomes lost.

The last scene between Chani and Paul before they leave to go south is one of the most bittersweet and heartbreaking I've seen. Chani's line 'the world has made choices for us' is really heartbreaking because of how true it is, they only have the illusion of making choices, they are being pulled by the actions of others around them, so as much as Paul wants to live happily amongst the fremen and with Chani, outside forces work to pull him off that path and onto one of their own choosing. Jessica's actions, Gurney's, the Harkonnen's, the Bene Gesserit and the Emperor's all work against Paul and force him into a choice that he doesn't want to make. So he 'chooses' to go South and drink the water, but he also doesn't have a choice in it at all in truth. What makes my heart ache is the way he is crying in this scene, his fear that he will lose Chani. She tries to reassure him that he'll never lose her but she doesn't fully understand, she doesn't know what he does, that he's going to have to drink the water. It's that line 'as long as you stay who you are' you can see the resigned nod he gives and the just pain in his eyes because he knows that he can't stay who he is, so this promise she is giving him isn't the comfort he is seeking, its confirmation that he will in fact lose her and its just awful to watch him have that realisation and poor Chani seems to be clueless to it. But something interesting that I caught in this moment is that she calls him Paul Atreides. It's interesting because whilst she has called him Paul on occasion she mostly refers to him by his fremen name Usul, but not only does she recognise him as Paul in this moment she also recognises him as an Atreides which I don't think we've seen her do since the beginning of their relationship. Also when Paul replies he says that he will cross the storms with her and help get her people to safety. Again this is a departure from his view before this when he insisted that he wasn't a foreigner, that the fremen were their people. Already we are seeing this distance begin to form between them, its subtle but the cracks are there.

The last kiss between them in this scene is bittersweet, you can see Paul relishing it, clinging to it because he knows its likely their last kiss, for him this is a goodbye in a way. The head shake he does when they pull apart and the way he keeps his eyes closed because he can't bear to look at her, knowing what he's about to do, it really does just hit you in the gut, its so painful to watch, especially because you know he is doing this because he thinks its the only way to keep her safe, to keep the fremen safe, he has to open his mind so he can see all the dangers that might come their way, so he can guide them to the future where he doesn't lose her or his friends.

One moment where I have seen alot of conflicting opinions over is the scene where Chani comes to Paul after he drinks the water of life. I've seen alot of people say that Chani was going to let Paul die, that she had clearly already fallen out of love with him, which honestly I think I may have watched a different film to them. Personally I didn't see it as her not wanting to save him or her wanting to let him die, Chani was frantic from the moment she showed up there, she is scared and confused, we see her asking over and over what happened. My heart broke for her when she realised that he had drank the water, there is also that devastating moment when she thinks he is dead and you can see her start to tremble and crumble, there's pure pain in her eyes, so I'll never understand those with the view that she had fallen out of love with him at this point. After realising what he has done she then becomes angry at Jessica in particular, she doesn't understand Paul's own actions in drinking the water, we can see this by the way she keeps asking him why he would do it. But she knew that this was what Jessica wanted and that she had been scheming and manipulating to get her way, so Chani's anger is understandable and its why she tells Jessica to fix it because she sees her as the perpetrator in this. I think the point is that Jessica never gives Chani the opportunity to choose for herself, Chani is still trying to process what has happened and still trying to work through all the emotions she is feeling, I mean girl is understandably a mess, she's scared, confused, angry, and there are people there sprouting out nonsense about a prophecy that she doesn't believe in which is only making her angrier, of course she wasn't thinking straight. So no, I personally do not think she was going to let him die, I think she was just going through it. I also think it was terrible that she was forced into playing a part in this prophecy considering how she felt about it, also because when Paul wakes up he's not entirely the same person, so now Chani must feel like she played a part in destroying the man she loves and bringing forth this new person who seems like a stranger to her in many ways. As I said earlier she also doesn't understand his actions, why he drank the waters and I think this is largely something that causes her pain going forward to, every new action he takes hurts her because not only is he betraying her and going back on everything he had previously said to her but she doesn't understand why he is, for her this has come completely out of the blue.

Another opinion I see alot is that from the moment Paul wakes up he is dead in the eyes and that he is completely changed, that from that moment forward he never shows emotion again. This is another one where I don't entirely agree with it. I do think there is a hugely drastic change in Paul post drinking the water, obviously. I also agree that most of the time he looks dead in the eyes, like there's some kind of void there now, he seems very calculating and cold and yes most of the time emotionless. But I do think there are moments, very small moments, but glimpses of the old Paul that come through occasionally and almost every time we see these glimpses its in connection with Chani, the exception being when the Emperor says that Leto was a weak man. I also don't agree with the view that Paul was dead in the eyes the moment he woke up, that it was instant like that. The way I saw it was I thought he actually looked happy to see Chani, it reminded me alot of the few times we saw him have nightmares and he would immediately turn to see Chani, would seek out her comfort, I think its the same here, he wakes up and he's disorientated and the first thing he does is search for her, he sees her there and he hears her tell him she's there. You can see and feel her relief and when she hugs him to her, he wraps his arms around her too. She needs to know that he is ok and so she asks him and its so sad the way her voice shakes when she does because it shows just how scared she was. Once she realises that he is ok and her fear fades that's when her anger comes out full swing, especially when he says he's ok thanks to her because its that reminder of how she was forced into playing a part in the prophecy she hates, he knew how she hated her secret name because of the connection to the prophecy and so again it makes her angrier. So she slaps him and walks away. For me this is the moment when his eyes go dead and he becomes emotionless, as he is watching her walk away. We see him stand as everyone bows down to him and as he turns there is just this chillingly cold look in his eyes.

If Chani was angry after Paul drank the water, its nothing compared to how she feels after the war council. This is another instance when she is forced into doing things she doesn't want to, this time by Gurney, she goes to speak up and Gurney pulls her to the ground and tells her she'll get in trouble, she pulls her blade and goes towards Paul to intervene when the Fremen get upset at him talking without being a tribe leader and pull their weapons and again Gurney stops her. When everyone begins to bow down to Paul Gurney literally pulls her down so that she is bowing to him too. But I do think this is the moment where her heart begins to break, as upset as she was when he drank the water this moment is even more hurtful and even more of a betrayal. Not only is it clear that he is embracing the role of Mahdi in this moment and using her people to meet his own ends, but when he declares himself duke of arrakis he is putting himself above her in rank, he is no longer her equal, he is her duke and she and her people are his servants. This is what is heartbreaking to her and this is what feels like a betrayal because it comes back to that scene before they first kiss where he says he wants to be equal to her. Now he is betraying that.

I said earlier that throughout the first half of the film we saw alot of imagery of Paul and Chani side by side, this imagery of unity, but from the moment he drinks the water, we see the opposite, they are always at a distance from each other, she sees him walking through the crowd from a distance at the war council, when making the plan to attack the Emperor's ship they are sitting on opposite sides instead of next to each other, after the battle when they are gathered in the hall we see Chani look for him and sees him walking at a distance surrounded by his loyal followers. Despite this one thing remains the same and that is that they still seek each other out with their eyes, they still have these little moments where they're eyes meet and they seem to say something without actually talking.

One exception to this new distance we see between them is the very last scene where we see them talk to each other. It was actually only on a rewatch that I realised that these were the last lines they speak to each other and also the last line Chani says at all. When they are gathered in the hall and Paul has ordered for the prisoners to be brought in, we see him look to Chani and approach her. The last words she says to him are 'this isn't over yet.' Now obviously she's talking about the battle here, but I also like to think that she is talking about them too, despite everything she is still clinging to him and to them with a very thin thread at this point. It's very similar to the scene before they go south and its just as heartbreaking because once again Paul knows what he is about to do and knows its going to hurt her. So he tells her he'll love her as long as he breathes, and this line just felt like a knife to the heart, its so romantic and yet even as he says it you can feel that something is coming and like their last kiss it feels like a goodbye. I've seen some say that Paul was lying in this moment but for me I think the thing that makes it so tragic is that its the truth. At this point Paul has broken so many promises that he made to her, has betrayed her in so many ways and he knows he's about to make it worse, so he gives her this one last promise, one that he will not break. She might not believe him but despite that he needs to say it, he needs her to hear it. It's this one last moment of pure honesty and love between them. You can see that it means something to her as well, that despite how angry she is she still feels his words in that moment, we see it in the way she kind of gasps and tries not to let it overwhelm her.

But then comes that moment, the one where everything comes crumbling down as Paul says he'll take the princess' hand. I mean Zendaya's acting in this moment was phenomenal, I really did feel her pain and shock and anger. But I think the part that really hurts her isn't even him marrying another woman its the part where he says that he and the princess will rule over the empire together. Again it comes back to equality, Chani was Paul's equal and that was important to her, but here he is declaring himself a lord and he is making a move for the throne of the known universe, again putting himself in a position above Chani as well as a position of power over her and her people, on top of that by saying that he will rule with the princess he is essentially making another woman his equal in Chani's place, a woman who will also have power and control over Chani's own people. Of course this feels like a betrayal for her and of course this hurts her, I mean Chani looks like she almost wants to throw up in this moment she is so distressed by it, you see her pull her anger back up and at this point I really do think she is using her anger as a shield and as something to hide behind so that she doesn't have to confront the pain she is in.

Which brings me to the duel between Paul and Feyd. I really do think this fight shows just how deeply Paul still loves Chani and vice versa. There is that moment when Feyd knocks Paul down, its a hard enough knock that everyone around gasps and even Paul himself looks frightened, it almost looks like he is beat. But then Paul looks to Chani, I think this is for a couple of reasons, one being that if he is about to die then he wants to have one last look at her, another is because she is his source of strength and right now he needs that in order to continue the fight. But this look draws Feyd's attention and he realises the connection between Paul and Chani. Feyd's biggest mistake is turning his attention to Chani, calling her Paul's pet. You can see the disgust on Chani's face here, I think it still hurts even if its not Paul's view, it's again highlighting their difference in station, Paul's a duke of a great house, she's his pet, its degrading. But this comment makes Paul angry too. This is another reason why I argue against the view that Paul is emotionless post drinking the water because in this moment you can see the emotion in his eyes as he stares Feyd down. Its pure fiery rage and protectiveness. Watching Feyd approach Chani is what gives Paul the strength to get back up and as he moves towards Feyd you can see his anger growing. If Feyd hadn't turned his attention to Chani and taunted Paul then Feyd may have been able to beat him. We see Paul thump his chest twice and you know that he's out for blood now. When Feyd does stab him we see Paul again look to Chani, drawing that strength from her, when Feyd is pushing the emperor's blade towards Paul and he is trying to stop it with his hand, its just such a tense and horrifying scene to watch, but Paul bares the pain of that blade slicing through his hand because he knows what is at stake, because when he looked at her the first time he exposed her to Feyd, who turned his attention to her, if Paul dies now then that means leaving Chani vulnerable to Feyd and there is no telling what Feyd would do to her, the fact that he called her a pet shows that he doesn't see her as human so you know it wouldn't be anything pleasant. Which means for Paul dying is now no longer an option, his main priority is keeping Chani safe, its why he drank the water and became the Mahdi in the first place. Its the threat to Chani that gives Paul the strength to defeat Feyd. There is also something symbolic about the fact that its the same crysknife that Chani gave him before his fight with Jamis that he uses to kill Feyd, a crysknife that was already covered in his own blood.

It's also clear throughout this whole duel that Chani still cares for Paul, we see it in her reaction when he is stabbed, that fear that he will die, that she'll have to watch him die, also she must be thinking, on some level, about the first time she saw him fight, right after they first met, the parallels between the two duels are so clear. The relief she shows when he kills Feyd, the way she lets out the breath she was holding and the way she trembles, its clear that she is still in love with him. There's also a moment where after pulling the knife from his shoulder Paul looks at her and her gaze just softens and she once again looks at him with tenderness. But when the emperor finally kneels to him and everyone (but irulan and jessica) follows suit, Chani refuses to. Her anger is back and she refuses to bow to him, to recognise him as someone who is above her, she will not see him as anything but her equal. She also won't follow him down this path, won't support this action and so she leaves. That last look between them is so loaded, so complex and fill of so many different emotions. Paul is looking at her with such longing and sadness and Chani is staring back at him with defiance and anger. Then he has to watch her leave, she's a part of him, a part of his soul and he has to watch her leave. He doesn't take his eyes off her until she is completely out of sight and then he looks down and closes his eyes as if he's never been in this much pain before. Something else that is so tragic about this scene is how it mirrors but is opposite to the one in part 1 that I talked about above. The one where after his duel with Jamis we see him walking towards Chani, now he has once again become champion in a duel, but this time Chani is walking away from him.

I think the thing that is so tragic about their love story was how hard they tried to cling to each other, from halfway through the film you can feel the end coming for them, they are battling against all these external forces that are bigger than the two of them and yet they still love each other, they really did fight as hard as they could to be together. Even when he makes the grab for power, he loves her, even when she walks away, she loves him. Even at the end they are still deeply in love with each other but they've been forced onto different paths, because the world made choices for them. Honestly thinking about it too hard makes me want to cry. Maybe I am being too optimistic here but I am going to take some hope that their last lines to each other 'its not over yet' and 'I'll love you as long as I breathe' means that they will find their way back to each other somehow.

I don't think I have ever come across a movie couple that has such a well written and heartbreaking story as these two, but as much as I could continue to waffle on about them this post is past ridiculously long, honestly if you have read to the end of this, I am impressed and very grateful, so thank you. But yeah that is my very long thought dump on Paul and Chani, if you can't tell yet they've completely wrecked me.

#paulchani #paul x chani #dune #dune part 1 #dune part 2 #dune part 2 spoilers #dune part two #dune part two spoilers #paul atreides #chani kynes

74 notes · View notes