#bc when im not in an intense intrest phase i cant draw for shit. thatd be a perfect time to draw my ocs right?

[the-knife-consumer]

I feel lame for not having many ocs tbh. Whatever i do what i want forever

#idk i feel like my entire art is only ever used on drawing pre existing characters #usually from popular ips i feel so shallow. #any ocs i make i never get attached to. and if i do im too nervous to post them #or like with my fandom intrests i love them so intensely and then a month or so later #i dont give a shit anymore. i wish i wasnt so reliant on pre existing characters with pre existing personalities to draw #my attention. and draw in general. #bc when im not in an intense intrest phase i cant draw for shit. thatd be a perfect time to draw my ocs right? #but i need to be intensely intrested to draw in the first place. and they aren't fleshed out they dont have content #yhere is no book or movie or show or game. ive gotta do all of that. but that passion isn't there #i get no big ideas for stories of my own. no characters with compelling backgrounds everytging i do #just feels like a rehash or repackaging of something else. #and insult to injury. usually i can pinpoint exactly which pre exosting character im ripping from #which nothing wrong witg inspiration. if it was anyone else i'd be like fuck yeag dude thats awesome #but because its me it feels like stealing stealing stealing i cant think of anything on my own so i must steal #idk. whatever. #i mean i do have ocs but i havent drawn them in fucking forever it feels like. and i love them ig #for once i cant really pinpoint where i pulled them from. but too nervous to post them on #this blog and also again. drawing them feels like a chore because the obsession isnt there #vent #whateverrrrr my interps are baller my lines are swagular. im gonna make it whatever #and also i feel like a flake with my intrests and its not deliberate but sometimes i feel like im #pullibg people in from fandoms then pulling a switcheroo gotcha on them by being invested #in something else #which obviously im fucking not thats stupid im not doing this on purpose #but it still feels so yuuuuucky like im sorry ik this isnt what you folloed me for. sorry #SJATEVER i win at art wbatever whatever