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#which obviously im fucking not thats stupid im not doing this on purpose
fagcrisis · 1 month
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poppy war thoughts, aka this book was so bad it made me want to get a goodreads account just so i can shit on it in an official capacity
so what initially sold me on this book, is that despite my friend ellis absolutely hating rf kuang's babel, ive only ever seen raving reviews for it anywhere else, and a brief description of its magic system reminded me of gergő és az álomfogók. i love that mainstream fantasy is finally starting to rely on drawing from cultures other than the sort of western mainstream and i was actually super excited to get into it. well it sucked (this contains spoilers obviously)
its 11 am this is not gonna be very structured but let me start off by listing some things i did enjoy. first of all its low hanging fruit and im better than this so im only gonna shit on tpw for being so directly about the sino chinese war that the only actual interesting bits of exposition in the book was what was just a description of actual events a Little bit. listen lotr is about ww2. its fine its all fine. anyway, i had fun with the bits of worldbuilding that were yk, actually worldbuilding. the magic system was really interesting and just super not explored enough, the book handled drug addiction about as sensitively as the dare program, but nevertheless it was a cool concept. shamans who have to get high as hell do do anything and then putting those guys in a combat setting is crazy. really fun concept. speaking of shamans i loved jiang. his archetype is impossible to fuck up and he was loveable and fun till the very end. uhh what else. the fight descriptions were good its something kuangs is decent at, as someone whos watched just truly an inordinate amount of wuxia as a child i rly can appreciate a stupid convoluted fight scene. oh i found it hysterical that the west was just one country that was really fun.
NOW ONTO THE SHIT I HATED
rin is incredibly unlikeable i know its not the point of every book ok but tpw isnt good enough to have a protagonist who is just impossible to relate to this isnt 1984 okay this is contemporary ya. i GET that she sucks and thats the point but im supposed to emphatize with her and throughout the book she just seemed stupid and easy to manipulate and not very interesting. shes an incredibly shallow character which is i guess what happens when you base your ya teenage girl protagonist on CHAIRMAN OF THE COMMUNIST PARTY MAO ZEDONG. HELLO. anyway. all her personal relationships are very much carried by the strenght of the characters close to her, and because most characters in this book are not very interesting that makes for a shitty fucking protagonist.
most of the conflict in this book is extremely artificially generated until maybe the second half of part 3. everyone in rins life is unnessecarily mean to her because shes just so smart and good at things. the part where they accused her of cheating on the exams and she owned them like crazy came to define much of the book. some kind of mean cunt whose purpose in life is to cause misery is an asshole to rin bc shes so smart and strong and talented, and she owns them with a witty remark. she punches nezha on the first day of school for fucks sake.
speaking of the school, the majority of the book is spent at sinegard academy and it is an extremely predictable and dull affair. i long for the wizard of earthsea. kuang is not a very good writer on a technical level and everything that she tries to imply she ends up spelling out (usually by having a character say it out loud) only a couple pages later. you can get through 2/3rds of this book by just reading every other page and correctly guessing what has happened and what will happen. in possibly the funniest paragraph of part 2, rin thinks about how everybody thinks altan is the coolest guy and yet he has no friends and at this point shes been experiencing quite severe racism from all of her peers and then instead of leaving you to figure out the quite obvious conclusion kuang literally has her say "oh his skin is dark and mine is too. i wonder if he knows what racism is like" just, truly hysterical.
her feud with nezha is unbearable, i knew immediately that he would become a romantic interest because a ya protagonist cannot hate a boy for perfectly good reasons. it always has to be bc shes horny. anyways thankfully when she starts studying with jiang, jiang is there and the terrible dullness of it all is lifted somewhat
as i mentioned before, the actual historical elements in the book elevate it greatly and the third part is almost enjoyable in some sections. however, unfortunately, this is also the part of the book where rin and altans darkling situation begins. i have a sinking feeling altan may not have died, which sucks because i hated this bit. they have virtually no relationship to eachother except altan yelling at rin occasionally. now again there were bits and pieces of their relationship that i didnt quite hate, but honestly i still dont entirely buy the rin is a seerly thing emotionally because she is so detached from it. the revelation only seemed to shock her a little bit and then she was busy with being at war and her boss hating her, when she actually gains the power of the phoenix at the very end its her own hatred and egoism fueling her rather than any connection to her people. overall this again comes back to her being quite weak as a character, and the worldbuilding suffers as a result of that
in any case, ill mull over continuing the series. the ending was actually quite strong i love a genocide as a result of being a stupid fucking 19 year old (dont quote me on this please), so maybe the next one is better maybe ms kuang learned to write inbetween these 2.
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IMPORTANT UPDATE!!
the comic is cancelled. you probably already assumed that since i havent posted anything about it in a while but yeah the things dead now lol. mainly because i dont care much about omori anymore, the comic sucked, and it was too much effort. i feel kinda bad about leaving you guys in the dark for this long tho, so i thought id go ahead and include all the scrapped stuff for the comic that never got finished
while i was writing the comic i started a google doc that laid out ideas i had for future pages. heres that if you wanna know how the story ends
it was written over several months and (most) things are in order of where they go on the timeline not when i wrote them so it might be a little hard to follow
also some art i never posted
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(at least i dont think ive posted the last one)
i quoted not liking this comic as one of the reasons i stopped so let me explain that with a list of things id change about this if i were to remake it (which i wont)
remove the swearing that was so stupid
make omori mute (and probably use sign language)
omori does not express fear or stress in-game, thats sunnys job. quit it
he also does not cry and generally shows emotions (even the big ones) in more subtle ways (which i think i was trying to shift towards later in the doc) idk why he was so emotional all the time
literally everything about how i portrayed omori actually that was all just awful
the panic attack scene is fucking embarrassing i have no clue what i was thinking. im so sorry for writing it like that i did 0 research beforehand
make it shorter why did i think that would work out
id probably just make it a fic, comics take way too much outta me compared to just writing things
it does not need a big epic ending and probably shouldve ended not long after they escaped black space
the romance is horrible but thats the foundation of the comic so idek what id do about that
stop making everyone talk like therapists 24/7
and yeah it has a lot of problems but i still do care about this due to the ammount of effort and love ive put into it, i just cant and dont want to continue it
so yeah thats where this story ends ig. i had a lot of fun along the way, and thank you so much for all the support. bigger thanks to that one sunflower discord server (if you came from there you know which one) for being my main motivation and support throughout this journey. sucks this comic never got to see its full potential but im relieved to finally lay it to rest. the blog will stay up for archival purposes but i will not continue the comic any further obviously. the ask box will remain open if you wanna say anything or if you have a question about the story or whatever. thanks for reading.
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arsonkoobi · 1 year
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"hybe uses jikook to cover up the real ship which is taekook"
"hybe forces jk to do fanservice with jm to hide taekook"
"hybe promotes and releases jikook content on purpose to make more money"
these are all widely believed theories among taekookers.
and i think..its absolute garbage.
i was talking to an acquaintance the other day and while on the topic of bts and ships (she's an army+tkkr) she started talking abt how im "kinda dumb for being a jikooker", i asked why, she said "jikook is only used to cover up tkk's real relationship" and proceeded to carry on abt why she thinks so, and i sat and listened while suppressing my laugh bc it was so fucking funny how she wasnt able to provide a single concrete piece of evidence but continued to talk shit. knowing it would never end i got up and left. now im writing this here bc i can never think of a good response immediately lol.
"hybe uses jikook to cover up the real ship which is taekook"
suppose, you possess two gvns, one in your pocket and another at your home. but gvns are illegal w/o a license and you dont have one, the police are chasing you , so you run back home. you need to hide your gvn, you see the other gvn lying around and get a mindblowing idea.
"Let's hide this gvn behind that gvn, they'd never know!"
ofc they got to know. they found it immediately and you got your sentence.
now that you're reading this, you might think thats beyond stupid and no one would do that.
tkkrs existing: ....
bc how the fuck are you supposed to hide a gay ship with another gay ship? the backlash will be the same. the homophobia will be the same. the criticism will be the same. esp when the two ships have a common member. i have nothing else to say other than this is the most nonsensical theory ive heard.
"hybe forces jk to do fanservice with jm to hide taekook"
you guys are making out jungkook to be hybe's little puppet who cant say no to anything the company says. like are you talking about the jungkook who doesnt give a shit abt the company's orders? who will rebel when he feels like it? who will do whatever he wants, whenever he wants? the exact copy of jin? and we all know jin doesnt give a flying fuck abt the company rules lol. and neither do the other members. bts make their own rules. i thought we all established that ages ago? and what would hybe even do if they break rules? fire them? lmao, bts=hybe. hybe couldnt do anything even if they wanted to. besides yall are acting like hybe doesnt have anything better to worry about rather than getting fanservice scripts ready for jikook to follow.🙄
not to mention how yall are absolute shit at reading expressions and body language+actions.
jungkook :
*makes finger hearts and saying i love you to jimin and has done it multiple times before.*
*goes on a trip with ONLY jimin to tokyo, pays for all the expenses and makes a whole gcf abt it with "there for you" as the bgm*
*does an almost 2 hour live completely dedicated to jimin and fanboying over him*
*sucking jimins ear in front of thousands of fans to confort him*
*never forgets to reassure jimin, comfort jimin or give reassuring touches like massages and caresses*
*jungkook going all the way up to the mountain to bring snow for jimin bc he knows jimin loves snow"
*jimin travelling halfway across the world just to make it home just for jungkooks birthday* (and so much more)
yall: ITS FANSERVICE JK AND JM WERE FORCED.
like be fr rn🙄 yall only have a problem when its jikook istg.
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this speaks for itself.
"hybe promotes and releases jikook content on purpose to make more money."
this is overwhelmingly stupid. okay so obviously a company would want to make more money, i mean its basically the whole purpose. and a company would choose the most efficient way to make money.
if we bring capitalising on ships into the equation, jikook is not the ship that would make them the most money. why? bc most of the shippers in this fandom are tkkrs. but in recent years, jikook has become the 2nd most popular ship in bangtan. but even so, its still the second best option, if hybe really wanted to take advantage of a ship, then they wouldve promoted taekook as a ship more than jikook bc then more fans would buy official content, there would be more engagements and more attention in general.
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clearly these mfs decided to prioritize their ship over bangtan. if there were more taekook moments these mfs would've flocked to stores. also "why couldnt hobi get carried?" . bro. jungkook has literally kissed hobi on the neck/cheek and so has hobi. jungkook said "i never thought id fall for a man" while talking abt hobi in CNS. jungkook and hobi engage in lots of skinship. but i dont see yall calling that fanservice?? simply bc yall dont find koobi a threat to your ship and your fantasies lmao.
Anyways.
so why would hybe force out jikook content to make more money when they can make so much more money out of taekook content? the answer is they dont.
in conclusion, all ships have a lil bit of fanservice in them, be it jikook or taekook. but you cannot call an entire bond fanservice in order to fit your delusions. hiding a gay ship with another gay ship is plain stupidity and you know it. yet you will continue to make yourself believe it bc you dont wanna get your perfect little bubble popped. hybe doesnt control bts. bts are not hybe's puppets, they make their own goddamn rules.
i hope this was helpful in breaking down your delusions, have a good day now👋
edit: i cant believe im having to clarify this but this is not a post dismissing taekook's bond😭😭 i love taekook themselves, i just despise the ones who use the above narratives to "prove" their ship. im a jikooker and this is a jikook centric account, ofc im gonna mention mainly jikook moments here😭 please dont come into my asks fighting me on which ship is real PLEASE. yall only see the members for their ships god.
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star-mum · 1 year
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How Ep 7 should’ve actually happened if not for Plot™
OKAY– so I was going to write this as like a scene rewrite BUT i don't want to sksksksks soooorry :D EITHER WAY LET'S GET TO IT BABIES
posting this specially for my angels @pinkchubbiebunnie and @trice-divergent thank you so much for letting me take so much of y'alls time with my bullshit :3
For the purpose of this, I’m going to assume the accusation scene happens somewhat similarly, but the only one who's actually suspicious of Jason is Rachel, cause her thing is directly linked to him and she's more angry and upset than anything. The others will bring the stuff that happened to them but more as in a “huh… something hinky is going on here” and maybe try to investigate it properly
A day after Jason almost dies NO ONE has talked to him until Dawn asks Dick to do it, neither her or Kory seem sure he’s okay enough to do a good job at it – he's obviously distracted with something else. Which leads me to my first 2 points: 1. at least one of them would take that as a clue someone should do a follow up with Jason after Dick talks to him and 2. it's crazy to think that NO ONE ELSE in the entire team didn't even try to check up on Jason – specially Gar or Dawn – that’s stupid at the least and INCREDIBLY out of character at most.
So with that in mind, I'm going to do a character by character “analysis” to show what I think really happened, in an AU where events aren't controlled by Plot™. I'm so glad this is what I'm currently using my psychology education for !! hooray !!
Dick Grayson
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i can't say for sure how much of this is an accurate read on Dick’s personality or and how much is just wishful thinking on my part but let's get to it
Even though Dick is – clearly – going through some stuff I think he’d try to be a little more honest with Jason, like actually talk in complete sentences for one, but also actually make sure Jason at least heard him before he bolts out the building. He could've done more, this whole episode Dick is so worried about the past and its implications on him now that he completely ignores pretty obvious warning signs. There's I think 2 things he says that IF FOLLOWED UP BY ACTUAL SENTENCES could have actually meant something:
“Good thing Conner was there -> “Im sorry” SORRY FOR WHAT?????? BE CLEARER PLEASE !!!! Dick does feel responsible for Jason’s kidnapping AND the fall, he knows Conner being there was pure luck, he knows what would've happened if he wasn't – they both do – so apologize like you mean it, say where you failed and what you are sorry for, you can't just hope the other person is going to guess what you meant, SPECIALLY Jason, he doesn't feel cared for, he thinks you're apologizing just to say it, HELP HIM BELIEVE YOU
“All of this is my fault for going alone” -> “No. I don't think that” This ties into the other paragraph but FINISH YOUR SENTENCES !!! SAY WHAT YOU MEAN !!! You could just be saying that to make Jason feel better, thats what hes gonna think anyways, say the words, tell him “I'm sorry I wasn't there for you” “I'm sorry I let you go” “I'm sorry I let you go alone” HE KNOWS Jason is impulsive, he really thought if he let the teens unattended nothing would’ve happen? And YES Jason is grown enough to make his own decisions this isn't ONLY on Dick BUT he could have tried to be a better mentor to him before all this happened, he should tell Jason that
“Rest up” at the risk of sounding repetitive I'm just gonna say, Dick knows Jason is training like that to keep his mind of the bad thing that happened, he’s done it too – probably still does – tell him it that even tho it can help now it won't solve everything forever, connect with him, share your failures and bad experiences with him BEFORE he’s standing on a fucking ledge.
Hank Hall
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I fell in love with Hank while writing his part, I'm so sorry
I think Hank would be the 2nd to talk to Jason. First I thought he’d go with Dawn or because she asked BUT !! ACTUALLY !! It makes more sense for it to come from him.
His whole job before coming back to the tower was helping at-risk youth was it not? I know it focused more on addiction but suicidal ideation – and life risking behavior in general – is very linked to people who suffer from any substance abuse, not to mention emotional distress/trauma can be the leading cause for developing it as a coping mechanism (look at me and my professional lingo)
He would recognize the signs, is what I'm saying here. Hank and Jason might not be super tight friends but he cares for the kid, that's clear. I can’t decide how he would approach Jason tho, it could go one of two ways: 1. he uses the training room as an excuse – either during sparring or some other training thing (?) like holding the punching bag for Jason or something, idk im not athletic – so it feels more like a conversation than an intervention AND it would be a good bonding moment for them, to show that even tho they find each other UNBEARABLE, they can still be there for one another OR 2. i did say two ways huh well the second way could be the next morning before everything blows up, he tries – although a little emotionally constipated, cause bro dudes – to have an honest conversation with Jason about the risks of isolating himself after a traumatic experience, THAT approach however – like being more direct – might “scare” Jason a little and make him lash out
Dawn Granger
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At first, I had Dawn as the second person who’d talk to Jason, but now I think she’d be third. She's really good at reading people and social situations/cues, so obviously would notice Dick was acting very weird and probably didn’t talk to Jason as well as he could have BUT Hank did go to Jason first, so she’s gonna trust him to do the right thing and talk to the kid when she sees him in the morning – that is, if Hank goes right after dinner, when Jason is still training, which makes the most sense to me.
I think she’d probably talk to Hank first, to see how it went, so she has a better sense of what Jason needs to hear right now. Even if there wasn’t anything to add, she would still wait for him to show up in the common areas — I don’t think she’d go look for him, just wait until “he wants to be found” kinda deal — and the very least tell him she’s glad he’s safe, and offer him a space to talk about what happened. I don’t know how positive of an interaction this would be, but I think anyone — even Jason, in his current emotional state — would find it very hard to snap at Dawn, and IF he did she seems like the person to keep her cool and try and understand their side while still setting down boundaries (she’s so calm when speaking that you’d feel silly for raising your voice, you know?)
Kory Anders
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“You're making me feel helpless and I hate feeling helpless” you cannot tell me this woman wouldn't even THINK to check on her number 1 problem child, like that's stupid. HOWEVER I can’t just ignore her reaction to Jason’s death “he made a mistake and didn't learn from it, now he's dead” which is,,, well accurate BUT the problem isn't that Jason “didn't learn his lesson” after Deathstroke, he did, just not the right one – he learned not to trust anyone but himself, people betray him, leave him for dead, accuse him without proof -> instead of learning to lean on and trust others.
So because of that I think she would talk to Jason at some point but not be very nice and sweet about it, she’d be very direct, to make sure this doesn't happen again. Like not mean either, don’t get me wrong, just direct. I think after all the weird inspirational speech vibes from Dick, Hank and Dawn, Jason would appreciate someone talking to him normally and not “babying him”. I'm assuming things don’t escalate so fast at breakfast, so Kory has time after that scene to talk to him
Like I think Kory would also wait until she sees him, instead of seeking him out, and I can definitely hear her saying something like what she said in season 3 -> “you made a mistake, now you have to learn from it, make sure you’re picking up the right lesson”. Probably the most efficient out of everyone, cause she is still holding Jason accountable for his own actions BUT she’s also letting him know he isn’t a lost cause, so even tho he might still say something annoying or even mean back, he WILL think about what she said for the rest of the day
Donna Troy
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Donna follows the same like as Kory, very straightforward, although I do think she’d check up on Jason for a more “basic” line, like checking how he’s taking care of himself — if he’s eaten, drank water, also warning him about overworking himself — almost in a casual or even “acidic” way tho —> “there's leftovers in the fridge” instead of asking if he’s eaten, demanding to have the gym to herself when she notices him way too long in there, wordlessly pouring him a glass of water if she’s already getting herself some — she’s more actions than words, to me at least
Garfield Logan
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OKAY SO— I realize now I should’ve probably put Gar before Dick for what I'm about to say but idk do that right now. Gar would be the first person to check on Jason after they get back AND it’d go so bad, he’s also the reason dude’s training himself half to death— I'LL EXPLAIN !!!
So Gar is an angel who cares too much for his friends, yes? Of course. AND because of that he feels INCREDIBLY responsible for what happened to Jason: he agreed to go with him check the thing out, didn’t call Dick or tell anyone else where they’d be, agreed to get separated AND didn’t fight harder to go with the older Titans — “maybe with his powers, they’d have a better chance”.
And, unlike Dick, Gar would make that abundantly clear to Jason. But it wouldn’t be well received because Jason isn’t taking Gar’s apology as “I’m sorry I didn’t do more to help you”, he’s hearing it as “sorry I didn’t save you from yourself” WHICH would make him really mad at Gar for “implying” that AND even more mad at himself for doing what he did —> arguing with Gar and then go to the training room to let off some steam from the terrible day/evening he just had
Rachel Roth
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I don't know how to say this without making her seem like an asshole but I don't think she would actively check on Jason. There is already so much on her plate because of her powers, she’s still resenting him a bit for what he said, and the mirror thing happens so soon she doesn’t even HAVE time to go and talk to him. I can’t remember now when she argues with Gar but it’d definitely make her even more mad at the whole situation, even if she’s not completely aware she’s projecting that stuff onto her feeling about Jason.
Extra - Zephyr
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I wasn't going to, but I love to talk about self inserts/OCs SO if my self insert Zephyr – hero name – was part of this shit show, this is the role I’d want her to play !! : D
Little context: she's my on going self insert for just about anything, literally just me but with powers – if the universe demands – and cooler hair – I missed the days of having fantasy colored hair. She always has some version of “air bending” as her power, cause I noticed that a lot of main casts don't have an air bender in their groups
I imagined her having a kinda bickering rivalry with Jason, nothing too serious but also not super buddy buddy, she doesn't go with him and Gar to check out the thing – she’s not aware they left, until Gar gets back – and when Dick leaves with the older Titans, she follows him after he told her to stay in the tower, cause her powers could be useful – and they are :3 – long story short, instead of Dick catching and then dropping Jason, she manages to stop/catch him with her powers, but before she can start either pulling him back up or lowering him to the ground, Slade sneaks up behind her and knocks her tf out and Jason free falls again. (I HAVE THIS SCENE SO CLEAR IN MY BRAIN !! ITS LIKE REALLY GRUESOME AND EVEN MORE TRAUMATIC FOR JASON :D PLZ LMK IF YOU I SHOULD EXPAND ON THIS !!)
SO— because she got her shits absolutely rocked, she would ALSO be in the medical area, in a different room from Conner, I think either Kory and Dawn would switch places to watch them both OR they would stick to Conner and Rachel would be the one keeping an eye on Zephyr. Considering that the two people who did the most to help Jason got fucking wrecked because of it, I think it’s safe to say he’d feel too guilty to visit any of them.
If we go with Rachel on Z watch duty, I think she’d maybe try and use her powers to heal her, not completely tho cause she’s still unsure about them but enough for Z to be able to at least get up next morning, so after helping Kory out with Conner, Rachel would update Z on most of what happened last night: Conner saving Jason, Dick just leaving in the middle of the night, how Jason is doing, etc.
Now Jason doesn’t really goes to breakfast, and the whole thing with Rachel happens pretty early (everyone is still in the kitchen) SO I think the time Z actually goes downstairs (??? I have no clue what the fucking layout of this tower is like) is when all the yelling starts. Like I said in the beginning, the other guys aren’t gonna accuse Jason cause,,, it doesn’t make sense, so there’s not much to defend him from — maybe just help Rachel calm down “you said he was barely leaving his room for anything other than training, what would he do that,,, now specially?”
And only after everyone else starts sharing the weird things/messages they got she tries to talk to Jason, asking him if he’s okay, if he’s eaten, the basics — in their bickering way like “when’s the last time you drank some water ? your lips look chapped as hell” “why are you looking? 👀” — and then after diffusing some of the tenseness, getting a bit more serious with the questions and genuinely apologizing for dropping him (if he tries to change subject/dismiss her/even walk from her, she’s gonna play the “i'm pretty sure I’m concussed” card so he’ll at least stay put)
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rainfallbeats · 2 years
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IDK HOW EDIBLES WORK OK
*slaps my hands on the table* thats ok because i do!
this post ended up being multiple paragraphs long and contains a lot of personal stories so if youre still interested its under the cut. tw for drug use obviously
now granted i havent had that many of them and the only kind ive had were these cookies my brother made but good LORD. sweet JESUS they were strong. like STUPID strong. i remember he prefaced giving me them with "i ate one and thought i was a little worm wiggling in the dirt" and i was like ok i think i can handle it
i could not handle it. strong edibles will slonk your shit silly style. theyre a bit different than smoking because it kinda all kicks in at once, smoking is usually a milder high unless its like a bong rip. i remember one time it kicked in and i could barely get the words "guys i think the edible hit" out before breaking into a 10 minute laughing fit. i was on another plane i was shot up to the moon
and again these were particularly strong ones it really just depends on the strain of weed and the dosage, but some of the effects ive experienced are as follows:
everything is funny. like everything ever is funny. i will just laugh for any reason if im high enough, you could jangle keys in front of my face and id start cry laughing. weed kind of just makes you stupid like that. ive noticed it helps with the adhd too because ill finally have the patience to sit down and watch things or do tasks without getting irritated
pain numbing/weird funny skin feeling. ive noticed that i usually feel warm when the weed kicks in and thats usually followed by like a tingly feeling and a reduced ability to feel pain. this is nice bc im an idiot who gave myself back pain from sitting weird so this makes it go away. probably not anywhere near as effective for that purpose as pain meds but ive never been on any prescription pain meds or anything that wasnt like, ibuprofen so i dont know
food tastes really fucking good. ive considered going back on my adhd meds with recreational weed bc the meds were an appetite suppressant and thats why i had to stop taking them. weed will make you hungry as FUCK and everything you eat will taste better
lower impulse control, this one is kind of a bad side effect because if you were already thinking about doing stupid shit and you get high then youre gonna do it. one time i was on call with a friend and kept chewing on my fingers til they were bruised bc i wanted to chew on something
slowed perception of time/distorted perception of reality. this one is either scary or cool depending on the person but i find it enjoyable. time will slow DOWN like minutes will feel like hours. every splatoon match i play while high is the longest one of my life, and ive found i usually perform better in games because im less stressed and more just absorbed in what im doing. that combined with the fact that my brain blurs the line between whats real and fake so if im playing a game itll feel real to me. i will be staring at the inside of the grizzco building and feel like im actually there, its crazy. playing video games while high is fun
ive noticed that if i get too high i kinda feel dizzy and not in control of my body, my head feels like its underwater and ill be sitting there rocking back and forth waiting to come down a little. which would be scarier but thanks to the funny giggly chemicals its not that bad. but its also not pleasant when youre in a social situation and want to try to act normal
im not actually sure what me dumping all this info accomplishes but maybe someone will see it and itll help them write a character that smokes weed or something. and like granted these are only my own experiences and not everyone is gonna share them but regardless, thank you for the ask
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drinkybirdz · 11 months
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while i highly doubt the pleasure of the unauthorized fan treatise would be destroyed via spoilers as its a very well constructed story and i dont believe spoilers should be the end all be all, it is a murder mystery and therefore spoilers.
heres an essay of thoughts on unauthorized fan treatise
im so obsessed with gottie. i know we're supposed to accept the anon theory in the epilogue as fact, but are we? i love the open endedness that, while it certainly makes more SENSE gottie killed nathan, it still doesnt feel like it adds up. it makes sense with rob's dialogue during the livestream. what he notes to her after her testimony. but rob seems far too comfortable in his actions TO take the blame. additionally, murderers have been known to break down wandering/do irrational things after a murder. obviously, gottie's unreliable narrator aspect clouds the entire text. but these objective facts--rob did something common among murderers, and took on the blame for nathans murder seemingly without any objections or slightest protest--seem to imply some level of actual guilt. or is it just psychological guilt--does rob feel responsible, and it really was all gottie physically?
anyway to me, it almost feels like they both had a hand in it--ie rob injuring nathan and gottie then trapping him, killing him. "blunt force trauma" with two laptops doesnt make sense. additionally, if the case could be solved so easily by an anon that it was gottie all along, the whole BIG TRIAL thing seems like...kind of stupid. not that law enforcement is any good, but that intense scrutiny of a publicized case tends to have solutions. truly, there isnt enough evidence to convict gottie whether due to her playing the cards or the reality of the situation, so what it feels like to me is that the factor of the case that was obviated was pursued.
i love how the story asks us to get invested WITH gottie. see now im theorizing. what makes me any different from gottie? i love that kind of shit in a piece. the fact shes so unrepentant in her post-trial admission shes going to keep consuming rpf proudly and stalking people takes on a whole new meaning with her story that this was originally just revenge. also delia ending her bit with just saying "i do believe rob and nathan were dating." or whatever is so fucking awesome i absolutely LOVE it. i love how the reader is left to question was gottie really, really right or did she spin the narrative that fucking effectively?
whats particularly interesting is that, with rpf, gottie (and obsessive fangirls like her) are constructing their own realities. theyre bending evidence to serve their purposes, taking things out of context, building stories out of peoples actual lives. which is exactly what gottie proceeds to do with the whole situation. its so cool how thats bought to the forefront.
and shes so much like people ive seen during my time on the internet. ive seen thousands like her. its crazy to think about their stories, and like the anon at the epilogue says, how any number of bizarre horrible memorable people online are still living their lives. botfly lady. does anyone remember botfly lady?!!?!?! the homestuck skin sharpie dyer?!?! sure the rainbow dash cum jar has become sort of a "meme" but that users still around more than likely. still cumming. hiv aids hamilton writer. my immortal "author" fraudster. theyre just living their lives, like gottie after the events of the story. isnt that fucking crazy?
one criticism i have is it feels like 2020 is WAY too late for this story to be set. a '14 date seems much more likely. i also feel like the links totally suck balls. like flesh out the universe. if youre gonna include links, MAKE them.
otherwise, i dont own lauren james' other book but ive read what's been serialized, and loch & ness being a part (CRUCIAL part, actually) of the loneliest girl is an intriguing choice. in tlg l&n ran for 8+ seasons while the murder took place before the release of s2, so itd be cool if theres some kind of reference to an s2 replacement of fang & jaydens actors. whats also interesting is j is consistently likened to jayden, who was played by rob, who is the possibly wrongly incarcerated killer of his costar? so james uses familiarity with their other work to establish discomfort with a character intended to be nefarious. i like it.
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ithisatanytime · 1 year
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Caroline Polachek - Welcome To My Island [Official Music Video]
  by far the worst cope about the new black velma scooby doo and you are gonna think im lying but i swear to god i have seen several people say this, in fact as hard as this is to believe this may be one of if not the most common sentiments about the show here goes ready? the show was made bad on purpose in order to turn people against woke politics! scooby doo isnt even the first IP ive seen someone say this about, my sincere wish is that every leftist be confronted with this theory every single fucking morning and they be forced to think about it, because its either true or false right? either companies are making stuff obnoxiously woke to turn people against woke politics or they arent, if every leftist kept this idea in mind until they were sure it was either true or false there would be no more leftists. because its obviously fucking false, which means that the people making this shit are genuinely woke, and when the ideas espoused by leftists are givin free reign everything turns into bullshit, but more importantly it shows that the establishment is on there side.
  another stupid but slightly less stupid cope i see when leftist shit is universally reviled is the idea that the companies put a veneer of woke over a show in order to pander but really as we all know all companies especially media companies are run by conservative white men, the jews and black chicks and trannies are all there to capture the elusive woman and retard market. this idea is absurd and all you have to do is think for ive seconds. what do advertising companies and companies in general spend most of their time doing? meetings of course. meeting after meeting after meeting, and do you know what they discuss at those meetings? quarterly reports! profits! this idea that in 2022 companies would just guess about billion dollar ips like “you know i bet just any live action little mermaid would make a billion dollars, but lets cast an ugly ass black woman (the issue is as much how weird looking she is as the fact that shes black) in order to make people mad i mean money its to make money, becaue when people are mad there money is worth more! lol it makes no fucking sense,. if swapping out white characters for black in established IPs in order to piss off the right boosted profits in any demonstrable way id like to see it,. of course the opposite is true, and thats demonstrable and these companies know it because again they have meetings where every piece of minutia is discussed in relation to profits endlessly. and which is it? are they attempting to pander to a hyper minority of leftists who actually want to see this shit? or are they ragebaiting right wingers? the answer if you spend any amouint of time thinking about it is neither, leftists just have the same neocon boomer mentality about america where they think everything is about money, its not, especially not art, art is primarily a propaganda tool and a business second. again i would point out that this country is around HALF conservative, that is a massive untapped market of movie goers and television watchers, where are the movies pandering to them? yeah there is the odd kevin sorbo gods totally real movie but why isnt the massive hollywood machine putting a veneer of racism over movies in order to pander ot this massive untapped revenue source? why instead are they pandering to the hyper minority ultra leftist pink hair college e-bitch? it makes no business sense, but if you see hollywood as a jewish propaganda arm it makes perfect sense.
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thekingofwinterblog · 3 years
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It’s all for his sake - Endeavor and the Sunk Cost Fallacy
My hero academia 301 is a pretty interesting chapter, but for me, the most notable piece of it was how Endeavour reacted to the realization that Touya couldnt surpass All Might.
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upon realizing that his son might not be able to do it because of inborn physical limitations, he immediatly stopped his training, which frankly was the responsible and adult thing to do. 
This stint of real parenthood did not last long however.
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After taking the matter to a doctor, he is flat out told that not only cant Touya achive what endeavor wants, but it is a direct result of his incredibly selfish and irresponsible attempt to play god, by trying to breed the “perfect” hero into being.
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It is how you react when you lose however, that shows who you really are, and endeavor illustrates that very, very well.
Upon being told in no uncertain terms that his attempts at Breeding an heir failed magnificently, producing a child that was not capable of resisting his own immense power, but also admonished by his doctor for even attempting it, and adviced not to try again, Endeavor instead doubled down, while focusing on the child he screwed over from the start with his attempt at genetic manipulation.
It was all for him you see. Endeavor doesnt use those words, but that is how he spins it here. it was all for Touya, all for his sake. if i stop now, then Touya was all for nothing, a mistake, im doing this for my son.
if im doing this for my son, then im not responsible for any of this.
his wife however, calls him out on it, as she understands Touya much, much more than endeavor does. or rather, she sees him fully as a human being, instead of as a thing, a weapon, a failed attempt at an heir.
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Unlike Endeavor, Rei is able to see the way this all is affecting her son. She is able to see, and understand that Touya has fully accepted what Endeavor wanted him to be. a stronger, and better version of himself. however, unlike Endeavor, she only cares about him as a person.
Endeavour by comparison isnt completely uncaring about Touya. like most abusive parents, he does possess love for his offspring, but it is forever tainted by the fact that however much he might care, or not care about Touya, any familial love he has for his son is tainted by the fact that to Endeavor, he is a failed experiment, a failed heir, not his child. 
He is the golden child that Endeavor was building up as his true and only heir, who he breed, trained, and molded to for that single purpose, and now that he’s reached a point where he cant continue that legacy.
so, its time to abandon him, and start over new, despite literarily having just learned how stupid this plan was, and that it can, in fact, go completely wrong, with a quirk that will fuck over the person he brings into the world.
Of course, Endeavor doesnt use those words to frame it. there is no way to pretend to be a hero, if you phrase it like that after all. Intead, this is the words he uses.
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this is a very important series of panels for a great number of reasons, some that can be debated, argued, and we will probably never know the full truth to the questions because this is a series published in 2020′s shonen jump, and there are things that probably wasnt gonna fly with Hori’s editors, if it was the case.
but lets start with what can not be debated. Endeavor’s words here.
“If we want him to give it up, then we have no choice... Touya... Cant surpass him.”
These are very telling words, and however you believe The third and fourth children of the Todoroki family was concieved, there is not denying the meaning of what he’s saying here.
The only way that my son will stop being an idiot and fall into line, is if we have another baby. that is the only Right way to move forward. it is morally right, because if we dont do this, then he’s going to destroy himself.
there are two ways to interpret this scene.
The charitable way is to read it as the fact that he used Rei’s oldest son’s mental state as a justification of guilting his wife to have a third child, to give this attempt at a superpowered breeding project another shot, despite the fact that they now know that this can lead to a child who is essentially born crippled from his own powers, and despite the fact that Rei obviously understands the effect of them continuing this insanity will have on their oldest son.
the uncharitable way to look at it, is that he used this as justification for flat out raping her, and forcing a third, and then later a fourth child on her.
I personally believe the last one, given a number of factors shown in this chapter(the way this page is framed, the fact Rei obviously didnt want a third child, given she predicted exactly how touya would react, the way her eyes would latet turn when she looks at who is presumably touya which really brings to mind how she would later react to her youngest son’s face after her mental breakdown, etc.), but i’ll frankly admitt that withouth a direct quote from Hori, its impossible to know for sure one way or another. 
either way however, this is a very good example of Endeavor both being influenced by, and using Sunk Cost Fallacy to justify bringing another potentially crippled child into the world for his own, selfish goals.
sunk cost Fallacy, is a mental reaction to when you invest more time and resources into a project, that you becomes so emotionally invested into said project that you will continue to invest into it, even if it reaches a point that it becomes clear that the resources you put into it, far, far outweighs the potential gains you can achieve.
because if you give up after having invested years, and years of effort to breed, raise, and train a kid, and then all that effort was absolutely wasted. hence he choose to keep going, despite having learned what a terrible idea this is.
He doesnt care about the fact that his next child might be even more crippled than his firstborn, he doesnt care about his son’s actual wellbeing. he cares about the fact that if he doesnt continue this insanity, then not only will he not achieve his dreams, but everything he did to get to this point was for absolutely nothing.
and endeavor cannot accept that. and so long as he can justify breeding more children into the world, and there being any chance they might inherit both quirks perfectly, he doesnt care about anything else.
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and the moment he realised that this kid wasnt gonna cut it either, he did it again. it is not a coincidence, that the age gap between Endeavor’s second, third, and fourth children were all 3-4 years apart. because thats the age where you can usually tell when a quirk will manifest or not, as established earlier in the series.
While she isnt brought up directly by Endeavor as a justification, it is very telling that Endeavor decided on having a third child, only after his second child was old enough that he could tell that that there was no chance she could take the place as his heir instead.
So, he had his third child, and as time passed and it became obvious that he wasn’t gonna be able to fulfill Endeavor’s goals either, he dumped him, and instead breed a fourth child into existence.
and finally, he struck gold. he did it. he produced Shoto.
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everything was finally worth it, and now, everything would be absolutely fine. the cost fallacy had reached its end, and it was now all full sails ahead.
except of course it wasnt.
His oldest son, now in middle school, had been raised from birth to believe he would surpass his father, only to be thrown away, and getting to see his father try to replace him, not once, but twice.
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frankly, this scene is probably my favorite in the chapter, because it goes to show Endeavor’s mindset. Natsuo made a point that their father completely ignored his older children. and he did... from Natsuo’s perspective. however, having a more thourough picture of things, we can clearly see that this wasnt the case with Touya.
Endeavor genuinly cared for Touya, enough that once he got that child he tried to breed into existence 4 times, he genuinly wanted him to just abandon trying to be a hero. he genuinly thinks of himself as a good dad here, wanting his son to abandon the mission he set out for him before he was born. of course, with context, this heartwarming scene is incredibly sad and insidious, because we understand why Endeavor got so attached to his oldest child. because he WAS the golden child. he was the child Endeavor genuinly cared about, and invested in, and trained personally with great warmth and enthusiasm.
And not only did he abandon him as a failed project the moment he realized he wasnt gonna live up to his ridiculous standards, but he literarily created 2 more kids to try and replace him, just as his oldest son was old enough to understand what exactly his dad was doing. over the course of this chapter, we get to see Touya’s start as a 5-8 year old, his deteriorating mental state over the years, until he finally seemed to reach the breaking point with Shoto’s birth sometime in his middle school years 12-15. 
Endeavor is in this scene, just not capable of understanding why Touya so desperately wants to become a hero, when obviously he isnt physically able to do so. he isnt able to understand that he is 100% to blame for the fact that his son is having a full emotional breakdown after literaly being replaced by his siblings. 
In other words, Endeavor genuinly think’s he’s a good person. a person who has made a few mistakes along the way sure, but a person who was always justified in the end, and now that he���s having to face the fact that as dabi would later say “The past never dies” and has to face the aftermath of his inane attempt to play god for the pettiest of reasons, things simply arent going to work out.
He isnt going to have a happy family, who can now put the awful early years behind them, he put way too much effort, caused too much suffering and sacrificed too many years of his life for this not to work out as he wants.
after all, if he walks away from this project now, and lets Shoto have a normal childhood, and decide for himself, with no pressure from him, wheter or not to become a hero, then the sunk cost fallacy will have reached a negative end. it will all have been for nothing.
and we know he did eventually double down on this mentality, literarily beating into Shoto that he WAS going to become a hero, and there was not but’s or no’s about it.
there was no way that Endeavor was EVER going to let things be for nothing. His treatment of his older children could not be for nothing. His treatment of his wife could not be for nothing. His treatment of Shoto, and the way he beat him black and blue to train him, could not be for nothing.
Because if it all was for nothing, if everything he feels guilty about was for absolutely nothing, then he was in fact, a bad, bad person, who had no justification for anything he ever did.
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katsukikiss · 3 years
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FAKE DATE
SHOTO x F!READER // COLLEGE AU // CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP // MINORS DNI
WARNINGS: NSFW 18+ obviously, general smut nothing crazy, unprotected sex, semi-public?
You and Bakugo broke up not too long ago, so you try to get back at him in a way that’ll hurt…
AN: I just whipped this up and have NOT proofread whatsoever so be kind pls. I’ve been afk working on a large Kiri fic so im sorry about being unactive :( send me requests tho! Im tryna come back with a regular posting schedule
WC: 2.2k
Masterlist
“Thank you for doing this Shoto!! Your the bestest friend ever you have no idea!” you squealed, hugging his arm tightly. He had just agreed to take you to the spring formal as his ‘date’. He wasn’t extremely supportive of going together for the sole purpose of making Bakugo jealous, but he just couldn’t say no to your adorable begging over the last few days.
“Yeah no problem y/n, I hope it works out” he mumbles, his face looking distraught for a moment before returning to an expressionless gaze.
“Pick me up at 7 okay half n half?” you said, releasing your grip on his arm. He nodded with a little smile and you were off to get ready. You and Bakugo had a bitter separation not too long ago and you were determined to get back at him. Shoto was a lifelong friend of yours so he didn’t take offense to your idea of using him as a pawn, he just thought it was a bit childish but went along with it nevertheless.
“I suggest you hurry, were going to be late!” Shoto yelled, leaning against the door of his car. You had to run back inside to grab your lip gloss, you wanted to be prepared to reapply as necessary.
“IM COMING!” you wailed back. The uneven pavement had you struggling to run but Shoto was quick to rescue you, offering you and arm to hold onto as you both ran back to the car. He proceeded to open the door for you.
“Always been such a gentlemen” you cooed, quickly tapping a finger onto his nose before getting comfortable in the passenger seat. You did that to him a lot, and It drove him crazy every single time. It was your own little way of showing him affection, showing him that you cared. He walked back around the car and got into the drivers seat.
Before entering, you went over a little game plan with your date. You had wanted to really get a rise out of Bakugo tonight, so nothing was off limits, touching, dancing, flirting, even kissing, which Shoto instantly shut down. As long as they kept things realistic, there was no way they’d be caught.
You and Shoto just barely arrived on time, walking in through the double doors holding hands. You both coordinated your outfits so you two looked like a match made in heaven. You couldn’t lie to yourself, Shoto looked enticing all dressed up like that. Suddenly, your hands began to feel very warm…too warm; Shoto was nervous.
“Hey Sho, youre kind of burning me”
“Oh dear god, I’m so sorry let me just-” he tries to pull his hand from yours but you only squeeze tighter.
“Just cool down, you look amazing, and you are NOT letting go of my hand right now” you whispered, trying to reassure him. He only nodded, trying to focus on turning down the heat in his body, but your little compliment made it hard for him to relax. You both made your way to a table that had some familiar faces like Izuku and Ochako; and the table directly across the open floor was Bakugos and the rest of his friends. You all talked and drank and ate, but you kept glancing over, only to see Bakugo avoiding your direction completely. You felt a hand grab onto your thigh and squeeze gently, causing you to jump a bit.
“Y/n, can we, just enjoy our night together? I don’t like to see you all worked up” Shoto admitted. He seemed much more relaxed than before, but there was a hint of anger in his voice. Of course he was concerned about you and your feelings, but the way Bakugo had treated you and continues to make you feel is something that ignites rage within him. You placed your hand on top of his and looked back up at him.
“I’m sorry Sho, you’re right, want to go dance?” you suggested. He wasn’t really the dancing type but he couldn’t pass up on the offer to hold you close. He stood up first and outstretched a hand to you. You gracefully held onto it and allowed yourself to be pulled out of your seat. You signal for the rest of your table to join you guys, hoping that might ease both you and Shoto’s nerves. You two made your way onto the dance floor, a somber acoustic song began playing. You wrapped your arms over his shoulder and behind his neck, his hands sat on your waist just above your hips. You began to confidently sway and step side to side with one another. You laid your head on his chest, getting lost in the moment with him. His heart was beating a million miles a second, he was desperately trying to contain the rising warmth he was feeling.
“You look incredible tonight y/n, I hope you know that, even if this stupid plan didnt work” he mumbled. You felt a bit defeated, but having Shoto by your side the entire night helped you feel a lot better.
“Thank you Sho, I actually wanted to tell you th-“
“I think its my turn icyhot, thanks for holding my place” Bakugo growled, grabbing your arm and turning you to face him. You looked back at Shoto, his mouth was slightly agape, his eyes wide. He looked angry and stepped to reach for you but you cut him off.
“I’ll tell you what I wanted to say later, I promise” you said, turning back to face Bakugo. Shoto’s face went blank before turning and walking away. Bakugos hands were gripping your sides with ferocity.
“What do you want?” you muttered in a low voice, trying to keep your conversation private while dancing.
“Oh nothing, just wanted to see how my girl was doing” he said with a cocky grin. Anger started rising in your chest.
“Not your girl dumbass, and im doing just fine thanks for asking” you retorted, still swaying side to side.
“So you and Todoroki huh? You really are a slut arent you?” he scoffed at you. You shoved him away from you, tears forming in your eyes. He stood back and looked at you with a devilish smile. You scanned the room for Shoto but he was nowhere to be found.
“Go fuck yourself Katsuki” you stuttered out, before pushing your way past him and running into the bathroom. You locked the door behind yourself and leaned against the wall before sliding down onto the ground. You sat there for a moment, you had only ever been with Bakugo, but to hear him call you a slut was a slap in the face. There was no way you could forgive him now, he wasnt who he used to be anymore. You wiped your tears and made your way to the mirror to fix your face up a bit. Then you heard a knock.
“Um occupied?” you called out.
“Y/n open the door” Shoto spoke. You shuffled over to the door and unlocked it and before you could speak he had you in his arms, stepping into the bathroom with you. He shut and locked the door behind himself.
“Sho I’m sorry, I-I just wanted to see what he had to say, I shouldn’t have left you like that..” you said, your voice trembling.
“Its okay, I understand” he reassured you. He was always so rational and compassionate, two things you really needed. He held onto your arms and pulled away from you, looking up and down.
“You still look amazing y/n” he cooed. You blushed a bit before speaking.
“Thank you…I wish I felt amazing though” you whispered, looking down at your feet.
“You know I can help you with that…” he stated plainly. Your head cocked back up to look at him. His gaze was intense, he was being serious. You opened your mouth to speak but his lips were already on yours, shutting you up, and you weren’t going to object. He kept kissing you while walking you back into the sink counter. He easily lifted you up and placed your thighs onto the cold marble. Your short dress allowed him to spread you open so he could stand close. The kissing got ferocious, you both needed more right now. He moved down to your neck and began sucking all over it. You let out little cries feeling his wet tongue snake all around your tender skin. A cold hand was sneaking under your short dress and wet panties to touch your folds.
“Is this okay?” he asked you. You moaned under the feeling of his icy fingers toying with your clit.
“Y-yess its more than okay” you stuttered back. Your confirmation made him speed up, his fingers moving at an inhuman speed. Your legs shook violently as you reached your climax, gushing all over your legs and his fingers. You let out a few deep breaths before placing a hand on his belt and tugging on it.
“More please” you begged, looking up into his heterochrome eyes. That look you gave him, combined with your sweet begging drove him wild.
“Anything for you princess” he groaned. He swiftly undid his belt, allowing his pants to fall to the floor and pressed a kiss onto your lips again while fisting himself. Your tongues mingled with passion, exchanging saliva with one another creating a wet sloppy mess. He moved his hips closer to you now, his cock pressed firmly against your needy cunt. He pulled his lips from yours and looked you in the eyes as he slowly pushed himself into you. He watched your face twist and contort with pleasure as he bottomed out inside you. He grabbed you by the neck with two hands, pushing your head back to lean into the mirror as he began his assault on your cunt. He wanted to see every little face you made while he pounded into you.
“Tell me, tell everyone who’s making you feel this good” he muttered.
“Fuck Shoto ahh y-you are” you cried. Your mind was running wild at the sensation of his cock stretching your walls.
“Louder, I said tell everyone” he demanded, thrusting into you even harder. One hand left your neck and began to savagely attack your sensitive clit.
“SHOTO YOU’RE MAKING ME FEEL SO F-FUCKING GOOD” you screamed, the stimulation of his hand on your clit and his cock in your cunt made all coherent thoughts leave your body; You didn’t care who heard you at this point. A satisfied smile creeped over his face.
“Thats better baby, now cum for me” he insisted. You had barely come down from your first high and the next one was already so close. Both of your moans were filling the the tiled bathroom, along with the slaps of his balls against your bare ass. You let out long and loud cries as you came undone for him again.
“AHH fuck god dammit!” you howled out. Your hands clutched onto his shoulders with all your strength as your entire body convulsed with the waves of ecstasy washing over you.
“Good fucking girl” he bucked his hips into you quicker now, chasing his own high. “I don’t wanna see you crying over him ever again” he groaned while still pounding into you. Pleasured tears started to form in your eyes from the sensation, from his voice, from the moment.
“Now those are the tears I like to see” he gruffed. He placed both his hands on your face, thinbing away the little streams falling down your cheeks. His relentless thrusts started to let up as his cock twitched inside you, spewing his hot white liquid all over your plush walls. He leaned over on top of you, letting out deep breaths and sighs. He pulled himself slowly out of you, causing a small mewl to escape your lips. He pulled his pants back on and stood between your dripping legs that were still spread open on the countertop. You wrapped your arms around him and he pulled you close into his chest. He placed a hand on top of your head and pat.
“How are you feeling now?” he asked smiling. You removed your head and looked up at him.
“M-much better…I kind of want to ditch this party now though” you whined. Any thoughts you had of Bakugo were gone and all you wanted to do was be with your ‘fake date’ for real.
“Say no more, does my place sound okay?” he asked with hopeful eyes. You nodded and jumped off the counter, pulling your dress down. Part of you felt embarrassed for what just transpired in the bathroom how loud you two must’ve been, but you felt okay knowing Shoto was by your side, holding your hand. He unlocked the door and led the two of you out. Kirishima and Kaminari were passing by and gave you two funny looks.
“I hope you got what you wanted y/n, Bakugo left and hes prettyyyy pissed” Kirishima spoke. You looked up at Shoto who had his same stoic expression on his face. You looked back at the two boys and smiled before speaking.
“I got something a lot better actually” you retorted, holding tightly onto your dates arm as you turned to exit. Both the boys had a dumbfounded look on their face, and Shoto’s face was dusted with pink at your response. You walked out arm in arm, making your way to the exit to to back to his house.
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evie-the-kiwi · 3 years
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the discord i sent this to said i should post it. tubbo analysis pog./rp
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Description: 5 screenshots of discord messages by user Tubbo Lore On Main {evie}, some of which have reactions attached generally conveying the anguish of their server mates. messages copy pasted/transcribed below:
The Nukes. he is decommissioning them, obviously, as he's said, because he would rather not hurt anybody, but they Work. and it's not some kind of Chekhov's gun, and i'm not saying it is, but it has become a perfectly potential plot point for tubbo to completely fucking obliterate something. Now, tubbo is a distinctly not lore streamer. he doesn't act beyond semi-scripted bits, mostly. when having conversations about semi-in character plans, he'll stick to what his character thinks, but he wont really Act. so i feel as though its possible that people have not caught onto his character's current mental state so we gonna talk about that first. c!tubbo's mental state was, i believe, fundamentally altered by his time as president. of course it was it was a terrible time for him. the creation of the nukes in the first place was for the main purpose of self defense. Everywhere tubbo's ever lived before snowchester has been burned, destroyed, raided, etc. at least tommy's house has stayed and is easy to rebuild. so, obviously, hes gone for the prevention approach.  he knows he can't beat his perceived main threats in pvp. if techno or dream wanted snowchester gone, then it would be. so to compromise, he's created weapons of mass destruction. if you're going to take my home, then i will take yours, but bigger, and Worse, because its the only way he thinks he can be safe, and respected, and Allowed To Live. In his time as president, it was drilled into his head that No one could be trusted. couldn't trust the retirement, nope hes gonna come back, we have to deal with him. can't trust dream, he never actually thought you were any good and only used you to get to tommy and the disks. can't trust quackity, he's repeating the festival. can't trust phil, he's helping techno. lists go on for reasons tubbo should probably not be trusting literally anyone. but he does! but i have 100 characters left. so hold on im not done but new message
Tubbo trusts people because he knows better than to go bitter over betrayal. he's seen firsthand what that does to a person on this server. but he doesn't totally trust anyone. he needs to be able to trust them. so he's nice. and he's kind and lovely just like always, so no one Wants to betray him. but now, if they do? there are consequences. he focuses on dream because he knows that he, personally, hasn't done shit to dream, and if dream does something to him well, that's unprompted, get nuked, but i think tubbo trusts people because while he hasnt threatened anyone, he knows, that they know, that Now? Hurting him has Consequences. you don't get away with fucking with tubbo anymore, because No one can get away with fucking with the dude with the nukes. He genuinely believes i think that him being powerful makes him safe. so thats the explaination of the nukes and Why nukes. moving on to "Aha, i am completely accepting of my death for some plastic my friend wants" and then the. the actual point. we arnt even there yet god
pov you are told consistently by people who you trust and who are your friends and who you thought were your friends that you're Stupid, and Evil, And A Tyrant, And Just Like The Guy Everyone Hated, You Know That Guy? Who Drank Himself To Death And Executed You? Just Like Him, And A Monster, and Less Important Than An Inanimate Object, and A Pushover And A Yes Man And A Follower And A Pawn, now imagine that every angsty fanfic written about that compounded into a full and complete internalized self perception because the amount of those things you were told that have been argued against were,,,, the yes man one, the follower one, and the pawn one. and you might have some proof that you're more important than disks, because you got chosen over them but he still got them back and he still had you go fetch one as soon as everyone was there to protect you. so. who knows. anyways. tubbo is apathetic to his fate because while i dont think he thinks people will be better off, i do think that he's internalized the thought that really, he's not all that important, every choice he makes on his own is evil, apparently, and the rest of the time he's a yes man, so does it matter? it's not like he Wants to die, he'd rather not, but. Since When Was He Important, for anything other than being used to hurt tommy or following someone else's instructions? so that's the Fate Apathy as i see it.
Anyway the Nukes!! the nukes. Why Would Tubbo Set Off A Nuke. the answers are simple and based off of possibility alone. probability plays no role rn. 1. in some way, he is harmed. a given, because that is what the nukes are for. their primary purpose is to prevent the harming of tubbo himself as well as his home and those who live there. 2. the egg problem gets out of hand enough that tubbo feels personally threatened, or that the things and people he cares about are threatened. he's totally willing to nuke the fuck outta the egg i know it. that thing fucks with him, snowchester, or, god forbid, tommy? it's gone. 3. Tommy Dies. do not come for me i will explain. were we speaking of pre-president tubbo, or even president tubbo, this would not be on the list. but we are talking post-president tubbo. post president tubbo who thought he indirectly caused the death of his best friend, who has had everything else he cared about Die or leave him. who doesn't actually seem to care much beyond what's expected of him about things that are not tommy and Maybe ranboo, and Maybe Sort Of Possibly Jack Manifold, and Snowchester. i have not run out of fingers on one hand. just like his own fate, he's apathetic to the fates of most around him. it would be Lovely if they were alive, and it would sorta suck if they died. that's it. he's still friendly with everyone but it's clear from the way he spoke about the nukes that while he doesnt want to hurt anyone, if he has to, he will. it's taken all the worst parts of his original pragmatic viewpoints and given them a weapon of mass destruction and a disregard for his own life. Genuinely, i think that if tommy dies. and he has to die, it cant just be something bad happenign to him tommy wouldnt want him to blow it up. i think that tubbo, having lost his best friend and constant? would raze the server to the ground. tubbo is stable, but in the way a grocery bag is stable. the paper handles will rip off if the weight increases just a lil
i ended that with 0 characters [5:37 PM] im not done hold on [5:37 PM] gonna talk abt jack
Jack. underestimates how shaky tubbo's stability is, and overestimates what it would take to push him over that edge. his hatred of tommy also keeps him from seeing how much tubbo cares about tommy. Again, Tubbo Doesn't Want To Die. but he was Willing, for the disks, a chance for tommy to be happy. he spent what he thought was the last few minutes of his life comforting tommy and telling him that it was okay, and that he would be fine, and that without his tubbo, he's still tommy. "yourself." Jack says he hopes tubbo would be able to get over it, but i know. I'm Sure. he wouldnt. maybe he would have before. as president or before that. maybe he would have kept going and been happy eventually. but now? now, with how he puts tommy over himself, with how little he cares about himself? that would be it. that's the final straw before Full Wilbur. If I cannot Have What I Care About. If I Cannot Have What I Love. No One Can. [5:47 PM] AND ITS DONE IM DONE [5:47 PM] thank you for coming to my ted talk i will be here all week, there are drinks in the lobby-
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tastyykpop · 3 years
Text
𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑢𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛-Final
Pairings: jaemin x reader
Genre: smut, fluff (mostly at the end but it's short 🤠)
<previous>
Warnings: dom!jaemin, brat!reader, brat taming, punishment, overstimulation, edging, face slapping (literally slaps her once), choking (wOw iM sO sHocKeD), hair grabbing, degradation, jaemins gets angrier throughout the story, fingering, finger sucking, praising, unprotected sex, soft sex, y/ns pretty dumb but I think we knew that by now, once again jaemin calls himself nana because shut up
Tag list: @ahgastayzen @allykookiez @wooyugta @dreamlesswonder86 @taetaeismy @nanaysa @patchi-chi @simplicitysbabe @sweetjaemss @huangvibez @kaitherring @xxjaemchenct
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It was obvious how tense and awkward jaemin was the entire time you stayed at his house, which lasted longer than you thought. You stayed for two days, per jaemins request, and you thought what if he's finally angry and decides to break. No, it was the complete and utter opposite. Jaemin was sweet, something you've barely seen when he used to bully or make fun of you before all this happened. He made sure you were okay staying with him another night and took care of you when you weren't hungover.
Did anything special happen though? Nope, just you and jaemin cuddling every so often while binge watching Netflix shows while he sometimes cracked jokes here and there.
It was definitely a sight to see. Even made you wonder if this is what its like to date him.
"Nana," you spoke, jaemin lifting his head off your shoulders to give you his attention, "Get up, we need to go to school."
Jaemin groaned, putting his head down on your pillow like chest and began, "Can't we just skip school?" He whined, "Maybe play a bit too?" Jaemin lifted his chin up, placing it on top of your breasts as he pouted, waiting for you to give into his cuteness.
Wouldn't that be nice- but you weren't going to miss school to mess around with jaemin. No way. You weren't even his girlfriend yet and you were sure his little play thing, seulgi, wouldn't be too happy, shes been calling him since he brought you here.
"No." You grabbed him by his hair and peeled him off your body. Jaemin wasn't very amused by the action.
"Oh i get it." He mumbled, "You want to see jeno, right?"
The question caught you off guard. But jaemin being jealous wasn't unknown to you anymore. He was possessive, that much you knew, and he always found a way to guilt trip you about it.
"I mean, we have been talking a lot more so a lil bit." You smiled, earning an eye roll from jaemin as he got up with nothing else to say and stalked his closet for something to wear. You glanced at your clothes which were actually his. And since you never went back to your apartment to get another outfit, you had to wear what you wore at the party.
Eyes stared into your bare back after you threw off the shirt that covered your body. They lingered, but didn't settle on staying until you slipped the bralette on.
Jaemin was going to comment about it, yet kept his mouth shut because there was no use saying he could give you a t-shirt instead, youd just complain about how it didn't match.
But the skirt was a different story. It was a party skirt, something way too short for school. No wonder jeno liked it. And to be honest, jaemin didn't hate it himself, he'd just rather not have people like jeno staring at you and your thighs. You were his. At least in his head you were.
"Fuck!" You screamed, "My bags at home." Softening your voice, jaemin just about wanted to smack you for scaring the shit out of him. He actually thanked the heavens your bag wasn't here, it gave you a reason to change.
"Let's go to your place quickly before school starts." Jaemin grabbed his things and you nodded, following behind him almost speed walking because of how long his strides were. "And change when we get there too."
You looked down at your fit and hummed, stepping into the car ready for jaemin to go.
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"I don't think I can handle trig anymore." You bit your lip at the paper in hand. Jaemin looked down over your shoulder and almost scoffed. It was the homework due today, of course it was also one of the hardest pages the professor had given the class too, making it ten times harder for you to finish.
"If you had come over these past few nights, you wouldn't be so stressed." Jaemin shrugged.
It was like you knew he would say that with the way you rolled your eyes and crumpled the paper up, "Im actually thinking of dropping that class." You stated.
"Dont." He rested a hand on your shoulder, "Come over later and I'll help you." It wasn't even a question, in fact it was him telling you to do something. Its clear jaemins had enough of you ignoring him and hes also fed up with your complaining. Even wondered why you held out this long.
"But-"
"I'm not taking no for an answer anymore." Jaemin stated sternly as he sighed, stopping in front of your classroom and put his hands in his pocket. "Stop trying to ignore me," he leaned forward, just inches away from your face, "its not working."
"Just because you think its not working doesn't mean its not working...." You tilted your head to the side questioning your own words, "Anyway, you're jealous." Crossing your arms and leaning against the wall, your ego fed off of jaemins glaring eyes.
"Bullshit," jaemin tsked, "why would I be jealous?"
You smirked despite knowing you were playing a dangerous game with him. And jaemins good at playing games, he's done it to you for years.
You took a step forward, ultimately getting closer to his still leaned over figure and said, "You kept staring at jeno and I at the cafe and you had an attitude the entire time. Its obvious you know." Slithering a hand up his cheek, you pinched his smooth skin, "Nanas jealous."
It was an understatement to say jaemin didn't feel shivers go up his spine from your low voice. For once jaemin didn't have anything to come up with. Nothing crossed his mind to tell you that what you saw of him wasn't him being jealous, but that would be the dumbest of lies.
"Quiet for once? That's a first." You snickered at the small shade of red on his cheeks. It was either anger or him actually getting flustered. Either way you still claimed victory for keeping him surprisingly quiet.
Jaemin pulled your hand away from his face and opened his mouth, "Admit that you're purposely doing it then. There's no way you and jeno are magically good friends now. You hate him just as much as you hated me."
"Im not purposely making you jealous," you lied, "And I never hated jeno, just strongly disliked him for being friends with you."
The older almost laughed in your face from how stupid your lie was. "If you want my attention, say it." He smirked, proceeding to push you against the wall behind you without a second thought making you uncross your arms, "Its not hard y/n."
His hands trailed down to your waist, intensly watching your face as you looked around him, afraid that what he'd do will go too far and some students will see a not so innocent sight.
"Youre full of yourself." You inhaled sharply as he leaned forward ever so closely, just barely brushing his lips over yours.
"And you'll be full of nana soon." Jaemin almost closed the space between you with his lips, but someone stopped him.
"Jaemin!!!" Seulgi came running up to jaemin in her cute high heeled shoes. Her hair bouncing perfectly against her back as she pulled him away from you and into a hug, not before she planted a kiss to his lips as if you weren't standing right there, "I haven't seen you in so long, babe. You didn't call." She pouted with more puppy eyes than normal.
You missed the way jaemin growled at her, almost throwing seulgi off him since you were so focused on them kissing. Never did you think you'd witness it either. Something about it made your stomach churn and you couldnt bare stand there for long before walking away, taking zero notice of the way jaemin called out for you.
"Let's get some coffee before the bell rings." Seulgi pulled jaemin, but his eyes still lingered on the door you entered.
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You couldnt stop your mind from racing in class. It was like your mind was playing games on you, telling you that jaemin wasn't in the slightest interested in you and thats why he never answered you, because he was too embarrassed to be seen with someone like you.
But that was only you overthinking.
Obviously jaemin cared for you, he wouldnt have let you stay over his house, tutored you, or be possessive when it came to you. So why did he kiss her back? In front of you too? Was he actually dating her for real?
These questions ran through your head, giving you a mini headache from thinking too hard about it.
It was like you were in high school all over again where everything was dramatic for no reason, well in some aspects you made it this way, but your point still stands.
"Y/n," someone tapped the table repeatedly, bringing you back to reality, "Class is over." jeno looked at you with suspicion but brushed it off thinking you were probably tired.
You glanced around the empty room before looking back at jeno, "Oh...yeah."
"Well uh," he scratched the back of his head, "You should probably get to your next class."
That's the last thing you wanted to do. Jaemin would be there and so was one of seulgis minions that always kept an eye out for anything he did. As annoying as it was, you weren't surprised anymore.
"Im gonna skip."
Jeno grimaced as you stood up and grabbed your things, walking towards the rooms exit as he followed close behind, "You? Skip? What the fuck??"
You stopped in your tracks, jeno almost bumbing into you in the process, "Do I need to spell it out for you or something? S-k-"
"No shut up. Its just shocking that your skipping." Jeno half grinned at the way you stared at him stoically.
"What are you getting at?"
The man before you chuckled, "Im saying youre a goody two shoes and you've never done a bad thing in your life."
You can't say he was wrong, but you also have to admit that you have stepped out of your shell recently and maybe for the better.
"Everyone changes some time in their lives." You pointed out, strolling out of the class to nowhere specific. "Better run to class jeno, dont want the teacher calling you put again."
"Yeah yeah." He eye smiled, giving you a quick pat on the back before saying bye and walking to his class.
You couldnt help but smile at him as he moved further and further away. You had to admit, jeno wasn't as bad as you thought. Not anymore anyway. But as jeno soon disappeared around a corner, you sighed and sauntered to the library where you were going to do your work until class ended.
Students were scattered everywhere in the library, some typing away at their laptops or school computers while others had papers and books sprawled out in front of them. Unfortunately for you, you were going to be the ones with almost any school supply in front of them. And with a sigh and slouched shoulders, you sat at an empty desk near the front of the library, taking your homework out as well as some books.
Normally it wouldn't be a problem for you to focus, but it was stressful with so many things laid out for you. Face palming and groaning quietly at your trig paper, you attempted the first problem which honestly didn't seem too bad, but you weren't always so sure of yourself when doing these kinds of things. Mostly because you second guessed yourself making you pick the wrong answer when you were originally right.
"This is so fucking stupid." You threw your head into your hands, giving up on trying since it was useless anyway. You needed jaemin. He was the only reason you started getting some good grades on your work.
"Whats stupid?"
Speak of the devil.
"The trig home- wait why aren't you in class?" You gazed at him before averting your eyes, not trying to let them linger too long.
Jaemin pulled a chair out and sat closely beside you, raising a brow as you inched away from him. "I could ask you the same thing." He tipped the chair back a little, keeping his eyes locked on the side of your stoic face.
"Im doing something if you can't tell." You snapped, instantly regretting the way your voice raised once you noticed jaemin clenching his jaw out the corner of your eye. But you couldnt help it, you were still frustrated, embarrassed, and jealous from earlier.
"Whats wrong?" Jaemin calmed himself, not wanting to blow up at you.
"Nothing." You ignored his eyes that watched you do out the problem. Probably silently telling you that it was all wrong but you weren't trying to pay attention to him.
"Youre doing it again."
"Doing what? I'm just trying to do my work." After writing your answer down, you checked over tbe work before you smiled to yourself. This had to be the right answer.
"Stop playing dumb." he grabbed your chin, "You know what you're doing."
Wiggling out of his grasp was no use, jaemin managed to move his hand to your jaw to keep you still.
You winced at the sudden squeeze, "I dont know what you're talking about."
Jaemin had enough of this bullshit, now grabbing your neck instead. Your eyes wondered the room hoping no one was paying attention, "Im not playing games with you. Why are you ignoring me again?"
"That's a good question." You looked away and though jaemims grip was starting to hurt more each second, you still found a way to show your disinterest.
Jaemin sighed, letting his hand drop and you inhaled deeply without a second thought. "Whats wrong then?"
"I told you its nothing."
"Bullshit." Jaemin took the pencil out of your hand just as you were about to write, your hand flying up to try and take it back but he pulled away.
"You really wanna know then?" You asked sharply to which jaemin nodded, "You kissed seulgi. Happy now?"
Jaemins mouth fell at your confession. Yes he figured that upset you a bit, but he never thought it was enough for you to ignore him.
"I never even went that far with jeno."
"Never went that far, huh?" He snapped back, shaking his head in disbelief as his face once again was steaming with anger. "Need i remind you how you made out with him at the party. Or were you that wasted and cant remember?"
The new found anger overlapped the previous one with more than just anger, but annoyance. There was no way jaemin was telling the truth, you would never kiss jeno.
"No i didnt."
"Dont tell me you didn't, I fucking saw it." His hand found its way on the table creating a loud bam that startled not only you, but a few kids that even lifted their heads to see what caused the noise. "You were the first one to go that far, so blame yourself before you blame me."
Taking a deep breath, you had to calm down before you said something you'd regret. Knowing jaemin too, you already had something waiting for you at his house.
"I believe you." Jaemin was ready to open his mouth but you were quick and responded, "because i remember." The problem with this answer was because it was untruthful. You already dug yourself a whole from the beginning yet you knew what you were getting yourself into. There was something about playing with jaemins anger that made you go wild.
Determined with your lie, you kept the straightest face like it was proof you recalled that night. Jaemin too was focused only on your face, his hand balling into a fist ever so slowly.
"I remember....he was a really good kisser," you whispered, "And you looked so mad." Snickering away at your words, you placed a hand on jaemins lap and watched his expression go from anger to almost frothing at the mouth.
Bingo. He was too far gone to see through you at this point and this is where you smirked to yourself.
"You're unbelievable." He scoffed, rolling his eyes thinking about how fed up he was, "Lets go."
Despite being told what to do, you sat looking between jaemin and your sprawled out homework. "I have things to do."
Jaemin literally shoved all your papers into your bag, not caring how they crumpled in the small space as you complained and swatted at his arm. Of course though, jaemin payed no mind to it, grabbing your hand and bag before dragging you out of the library.
You fought and struggled to get out of his grip. From the start you knew what you were getting into, that's why you did what you did. Now being dragged to his house it dawned on you that it was time to suffer whatever he had in mind.
"When we get to my house," jaemin locked his eyes with yours as he led you to his car, "We'll study trig, and depending on my mood and your attitude after, I might go easy with the punishment later."
"Im not going over to study and then be punished afterwards." Your voice faltered as you saw a familiar someone walking towards you and jaemin.
Jenos eyes lit up sadistically, smiling at you, telling you to smile back for one reason: to set jaemin off.
You did without hesitation, jaemins hold getting tighter and tighter as he glared at his best friend who walked by, holding the proudest grin on his face.
Once at the car, jaemin shoved you inside the passenger seat, slamming the door before he situated himself in the drivers side. Your eyes watched in annoyance yet you were intrigued. Maybe because you haven't had any action with jaemin since about a week ago.
Resting your head against the headrest, you stared outside the window. There wasn't any way you could hold another conversation with the man, it would only drive your hormones insane.
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Its been thirty minutes and to say you were paying attention would be the stupidest thing ever. every word that jaemin said went in one ear and out the other. Some part of you was purposely choosing to ignore him, but your attention span was almost non existent in the first place. So listening to jaemin talk about trigonometry was only boring you.
You tapped out, playing with your pencil or doodling on the paper. Each time you weren't paying attention, jaemin would ask you to write down the answer or a land a slap right on your thigh. It stung and made up jump with shock in your eyes as jaemin told you the same thing each time: "pay attention." But did you? God no. It was impossible. With the thought of a punishment too, it made your mind run like it was in a marathon.
"Little girl," jaemins voice once again brought you back to reality, "what did nana just say?" You shrugged your shoulders slightly, keeping your head down like you were shy yet you were far from it, holding a small grin on your innocent face.
"I dont know, nor do I care." You finally looked up. Jaemin was none too happy, letting his chest fall.
Shaking his head, he said once more to listen and pay attention.
Jaemin took your pencil so he could write out the problem for you, deciding to be nice even though you weren't returning it. You watched the way his pretty hands flexed with every number or letter he wrote. The subtle veins showing every so often too made you almost drool at the sight. Oh what you would do to have him wrap his hands around your neck again.
"Solve it." Jaemin threw the pencil down in front of you, resting his head in his hand to watch you. But you didn't move, not even a simple budge.
"No."
"Y/n its not that fucking hard, just solve it."
You glanced at the paper then the pencil that laid on the table before grabbing it and snapping it in half.
"Im not doing it." You faked a smile, ready for jaemin to snap just like the pencil.
"You need to pass this class, y/n. Stop messing around and pay attention."
You shot up from your seat, "I. Dont. Care. I'm going home."
It wasn't long before he suddenly stood up too, grabbing you by the hair and threw you on his bed, "Okay you wanna act up?" He hovered over you, pinning your arms down on the soft bed as he straddled your lower half. "I dont get why you continue to act like a brat when you know you're going to be punished. Unless you want it?" Jaemins face was merely inches in front of yours not until you blew into his face and smirked when he flinched and pulled away.
"Ever wonder why I act this way? Your easy to push, I can get in your head and make you get mad so I get exactly what I want." You snickered, "Not to mention its to make you suffer for not answering my question." A hand was placed on his covered chest, rubbing small circles on the fabric of the shirt.
Suddenly, jaemin laughed. Though, it wasn't a joyful one. It was more sadistic and filled with amusement, "How is it making me suffer if you're the one about to be punished?"
"Cuz i still get what I want in the end."
"My dick or my attention?"
"Both."
Jaemnn chuckled dryly, quickly sitting back and tearing your clothes off without a second thought.
You were ready to protest about your clothes until jaemin took matters in his own hands and shoved his fingers nearly down your throat to shut you up.
"Im tired of your voice." He spat, "All you talk is shit."
Whimpering around his fingers, you tried anything in your power to try and pry them out. He never moved back, sticking his fingers deeper and deeper until he heard you gag and whine the best you could. Your throat felt so tight and it was getting harder to breathe. Jaemin didn't care, deciding to just fuck your mouth with his fingers as he started pulling your pants and panties down, lifting his hips up so he can take them off all the way.
"It would be so much nicer if you weren't a brat you know." Jaemin began, easily shoving two fingers inside your dripping cunt, "Nana could've stuffed you full of his cock, made love to you, and made you happy. Instead," his fingers that were buried in your heat, curled and pushed in a certain way that made your eyes roll, "You wanted to be a little bitch."
You drew out a long hum, the pleasure felt so good after pushing jaemin for so long. All his anger was going to this one punishment and you should've felt scared, but you weren't. You were excited and loved every bit of it.
The way he fingered you was almost too surreal. It made your body crumple against his will and he wasn't even fucking you yet.
It was getting harder to breathe being filled by his two fingers. Just barely becoming too overwhelming so you tapped his hand to signal you needed to breathe. Jaemin took his hand out, watching your face to make sure you were okay as you gasped for air.
"Are y-you try-trying to kill me or s-something?" You moaned at one particular hard thrust that made your breath hitch.
"Oh shut up, I know you liked it. Probably imagined my cock down your throat." He bit his lip, taking in the thought of what you would look like on your knees for him before shaking it off.
"I-i was n-not."
Jaemin smirked devishly, scissoring his fingers to stretch you out more, but you kept clenching around him. Your hand grabbed his wrists in a death grip, moans fell from your open mouth and jaemin ate that all up. Loving how your body shook, knowing you were so close.
Right when you felt your orgasm coming, jaemin ripped his fingers out of you, essentially letting your juices flow out. But you didn't cum, no you were just that wet.
Your hips lifted up like you would get friction but there was nothing to get friction from, you looked dumb and pathetic.
"Not fair..." you mumbled, frowning at the annoying smirk on jaemins face.
"Punishments aren't supposed to be fair," he said a matter of factly, pushing your hips back down on your bed as he grazed his fingers over your wetness before pushing back in again.
This time setting a ruthless pace, taking in your fucked out expression.
"Jaemin- please im s-so close." Fidgeting and clawing at his wrists, the orgasm built back up. It got closer, closer, closer. Right there, it was right there, but jaemin took it away from you again.
"God, I love this way more than I should. Breaking a brat is so much fun." His fingers dripped with your arousal. He stared at the strand connecting his fingers. It was so much and so lewd, it should've been embarrassing to you yet it made him want more from you. "How many times should nana edge his pretty girl? Maybe-"
"Fuck you." You cried, ready to take this into your own hands and finish yourself off.
Jaemins hand made a perfect necklace on your neck, tightening his grip on the sides so you felt all his anger, "Thats the last thing I would say if I were you."
"W-what are y-you gonna do? Spank me?" Thinking he actually would if you said that, you were slapped across the face, eyes not staring at jaemin anymore but the wall next to the bed.
"Dont test me anymore, your already in for it." He growled into your ear. Leaving his hand wrapped around your neck, he slipped back inside, this time fucking his fingers into you at an antagonizing slow pace.
You wanted to scream and push him away for being a tease, but you reminded yourself that this is what you wanted, this was what you'll get. You had no idea how long this pain will continue though. All you could think about was cumming. In fact, that was the only thing on your mind as he fingered your tight pussy. The pain of not being able to orgasm was so unbearable, it just about made your eyes tear up. Were you that desperate that you'd cry over it?
"I wanna...c-cum so bad..."
The man above you stared at you in disbelief. He basically just started and you were already a mess.
"You really want to cum that badly?" You nodded hastily, tears at the brink of falling, you couldnt hold it in anymore, "Then apologize for all the shit you put us through. Starting with you ignoring me, fake dating jeno, and purposely pissing me off for the hell of it." Jaemin said with his whole chest. Being able to say it out loud reminded him of everything. From the time you started this crap, to now.
"I-im sorry- I'm so f-fucking sorry, jaemin." You forced yourself to look into his eyes, his angry red eyes that tore into your soul to find any lie, yet you had none. You meant what you said with full honesty, "Please nana, l-let me cum."
Jaemin simply gave you a nod and thats when you let everything out. You came all over his fingers but jaemin didn't stop nor slow down. He kept the same rough pace as before and you could only scream and cry from the sensitivity.
Then jaemin started rubbing and pinching your sensitive clit before giving your cunt a slap that made you jolt and cry out.
"Ahh- w-wait jae-mmm....s-so sensitive."
Jaemin rolled his eyes, "thought you wanted to cum? I'm giving you what you want, babe."
Your legs closed around his fingers though it didn't stop him from curling and fucking them inside. He could just easily push them open yet he found your sensitivity amusing which led you to cum again without warning.
"What a pathetic little fucking brat you are." He gathered the white substance that leaked from your clentching hole and shoved it back in, "Making such a mess of yourself."
Your back arched, even more sensitive than before.
The hand on your neck moved down to your breast, squeezing at your nipples and playing with everything he could get his hand on. Your nipples were so sensitive that that alone could make you cry and moan just from a simple touch.
His fingers brushed against your sweet spot where you screamed his name. Being over sensitive made everything feel more pleasurable and painful. Every small touch on your pussy brought you to a shaking pleasure that you couldnt control. It was becoming too much and too overwhelming.
"Fuck, are you gonna cum again? It hasn't even been five minutes." He watched, eyes filled with amazement as you shook and once again, came on his sheets and fingers.
Your shaking didn't stop though, it was like the kind of shake you get when your cold, though you were far from it. The intensity of this orgasm was just too much where even jaemin had to pull his fingers out and let you breathe for a moment.
"You okay, baby?" He asked quietly, kissing your temple as you nodded your head, "Can you give nana one more then?" Not wanting to stop, you nodded without a thought causing jaemin to smile and lean back.
Jaemin finally got rid of his clothing, crawling back on the bed before giving you a kiss so you wouldn't notice how he slipped his cock inside.
Surprisingly jaemin took his time pushing in, savoring your sweet little moans that drove him crazy. He started and kept a slow pace that made the overwhelming feeling dissolve away. Now you were wrapping your legs around his waist and staring into the soft eyes of jaemins that were just red a second ago.
Every vein against your walls made you feel ecstasy. Jaemin was careful with each thrust and it felt like pure love. They were passionate and he didn't fail to show it.
"Taking nanas cock so well, just like the good girl you are." Jaemin smiled at your beautiful face that contorted into pleasure. Both of your moans filled the room. More cuss words were thrown from you like it was the only thing in your dictionary.
The lewd sounds of your bodys bounced off the walls as jaemin fucked you slow and steady, grabbing your hips gently as he kissed all over your face, neck, and breasts. He sucked on your skin here and there, creating small bruises that looked like a tattoo as you grabbed the back of his head, lifting him up by the hair to bring his face to yours so you could place a kiss to his red lips.
The kiss was sloppy and slow. Neither of you cared though, both focused on your orgasms that kept coming closer.
Jaemins thrusts stuttered and his cock twitched inside you. The hand in jaemins hair pulled and messed up his locks, sure to create a messy sight later on.
" 'm gon-gonna cum." You moaned, lifting your hips up to meet his along the way.
"Cum, princess."
The final orgasm left your body feeling like it was on a cloud while all you saw were stars making jaemin coo at your fucked out face.
Pulling out, jaemin finished on your stomach before letting his body fall next to yours, wrapping an arm around your hips and pulling you into him..
You both panted out of tiredness, neither one bothering to move as you were both spent.
"Did I hurt you, princess? Are you feeling okay?"
You smiled into his chest, "no you didn't hurt me and I feel fine."
"Good." Jaemin smiled, petting your hair before laying his head on top of yours, "Wanna go on a date?"
You swear your heart stopped as your face heated up, "Jaemin, you're doing everything backwards."
"So is that a yes or no?"
"Of course its a yes!"
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It was a peaceful restaurant that jaemin brought you to, saying it was supposed to be a place a lot of couples went to which you thought was absolutely sweet of him.
"So...uh." jaemin looked anywhere but your face like he didn't just have sex with you for the second time.
You snickered and sipped the drink in your hand, "Why are you so awkward all of a sudden? Its just me."
"I know it's just- I feel like I can't say what I wanna say because I'm afraid." Jaemin sighed.
"Of what exactly?" You placed the drink down, watching as jaemin fumbled with the menu before he covered his mouth and mumbled something you coulsnt quite grasp, "What did you say?"
"...nothing."
"Jaemin."
His doe eyes stared into yours like it was some sort of contest, wanting you to look away first but you and he did, "Alright fine. I said I'm a bit nervous if I were to ask you out."
Tilting your head to the side, you puffed your cheeks out in confusion, "Why?"
"The last relationship I had, the girl cheated on me. Afterwards she said it was because i wasn't good enough." He frowned, returning his attention back to the menu where you presumed was his hiding place for the time being.
"Well she's a bitch and is missing out on an amazing person." You pushed the menu down, "Is that why you acted that way when you saw jeno and I at the cafe? Did you think I thought you weren't good enough?"
Jaemin nodded slowly, "Kind of. I didn't want to lose someone I loved again."
"Loved? Na jaemin-"
"Dont say it." He groaned.
"You've gotten soft! Does this mean what I think it means?" You quirked a suggestive brow at him causing him to put his head in his hand.
"Yes, ill be your boyfriend." He said in his hand before you took it away and grabbed his face to kiss him. "I- princess when did you become do confident?"
"When did you become so shy?"
"Fair point."
Everything felt right all of a sudden. No more of jaemin being your bully. No more coffee being poured on your head. No more stupid high school drama that wasn't even drama in the first place. It was all right for once. And you couldnt say you could complain. After weeks, you got what you struggled to have before; na jaemin.
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dropoutparty · 3 years
Text
shurara corps ark fix-it concept babeyy!!
under a read more bc this shits long LOL
also this is kinda rambly but whatever
when it comes to shuraras motivations here, maybe he could have been another childhood friend of keroros. idk how they could have been introduced, maybe through pururu or just by meeting in school, but ig that part doesnt rlly matter. what DOES matter though is that shurara decided to tag along with keroro, giroro, zeroro, and pururu on one of their misadventures and he gets hurt during it. BADLY. pururu patches him up, and zeroro apologizes like crazy (since he knows how much this sucks), but shurara is left with a strong dislike of keroro and friends. except for pururu, who he still likes (but im not keeping the crush bc it serves no purpose here) and zeroro who he kinda forgives a little bit but just because he apologized so much. maybe this could have resulted in some major physical injury that affected how he lived for a while, or maybe it spawned a phobia, but either way it left an impact.
putata and mekeke are sent in first with the goal of beating up the platoon a little bit and taking the star because they are the most skilled team. shurara doesnt want the star because of some stupid bandaid, but he wants to take it in order to both deeply hurt keroros pride and also to potentially have his platoon no longer be officially recognized, taking away something that means a lot to keroro. they actually succeed in taking the keron star kinda. when they get back to base, they realize that the star is fake, its just a piece of fabric or paper with tape on it (like what happened in the original arcs ending). this way the shurara corps will be established as an actual threat and also the ending will have actual stakes.
gyororo sends word back to base that the keron star putata and mekeke got was fake, so giruru is sent in to ACTUALLY get the real star, as well as punish the platoon for embarrassing the corps like that. this one plays out kinda like the actual episode (bc im too lazy to think of anything else), but all that matters is that he still ends up captured.
after this, the platoon is like ok this might actually be serious so they go on high alert. one day dororo notices gyororo (who was sent in a little before putata and mekeke to scout the place out and gather info) bc hes the only competent member of the platoon and confronts him, outing his presence to everyone. gyororo fights back but he is also captured in the end.
after the platoon has captured giruru and gyororo , shurara plans to capture and torture a member of the platoon as revenge. before he can do this though, dokuku and nuii decide to rescue giruru and gyororo in secret. nuii serves as a distraction to everyone while dokuku goes to rescue the fellaz. theres some minor conflict but in the end the four of them escape. after that happens, shurara is furious about his subordinates disobeying him and doing things behind his back, but he keeps his goal the same.
im gonna change yukikis powers bc they kinda suck and hes confusing. anyways yukiki isnt actually a snowman, but hes the hat! kinda like in mario odyssey, you put the hat on anyone or anything, and it will immediately be controlled by yukiki. he was an experiment done to try to make a sentient object, and he got his name because he was first tested on a snowman (which also makes it the form hes most comfortable taking). anyways, shurara sends in yukiki to capture someone by taking control of them, but hes defeated somehow and returns empty-handed.
im also gonna change robobos powers a bit. with robobo i dont think that he should have the ability to turn people into electronics because thats dumb and doesnt make any sense, so im gonna give him the ability to just control other machines. he also doesnt have a giant form, and can switch his hands between their magnet form and their drill form. anyways, at this point shurara is furious and decides that he doesnt care about capture anymore, he wants the platoon dead. he decides to send robobo for the job because robots dont have the same margin of error that living things do, or at least theyre supposed to. turns out, they totally do bc robobo also comes back with a failure.
after this, shurara somehow lures the platoon to his base (just like in the anime) but this time everyone is waiting for them there in a big empty room together. shuraras disembodied voice gets a monologue like in the anime and the roof opens, lighting the room up because its a bright spring day. kagege then appears and takes control of the platoons shadows like in the anime! all of the shadows are used to fight the platoon, as well as the corps themselves fighting. its an epic fight, but just when it seems like the platoon is all gonna die, the corps suddenly decide to stop fighting. they all tell the platoon about how shurara has been acting worryingly erratic and obsessive, so they agree to spare the platoons life as long as they confront shurara. the platoon obviously agrees, and theyre taken to a holding area so that shurara thinks that theyve won. they give them this offer because theyre not personally invested in killing these nerds, they dont really care. they ARE worried about shurara though, seeing how obsessed with this hes become.
anyways kagege reports to shurara (in my headcanon hes like shuraras right hand man or something like that) and is like "we beat the platoon, but we didnt kill them. theyre our prisoners right now and were gonna torture them before we let you do the honors" and then shuraras like "poggers!!! thats a great idea!!" and then proceeds to drink his choccy milk and play minedcraft. meanwhile, some of the others are actually patching the platoon up and telling them what to do with shurara. they tell the platoon to try to hurt him as little as possible, and DEFINITELY dont fucking kill him, but just try to knock some sense into him and restrain him or something.
the platoon asks why shurara hates them so much and whoevers patching them up doesnt know, but kagege comes down soon after and tells them shuraras motivations. after this, some understanding can be felt by giroro and dororo (bc they were there, even tho dororo is the only one who remembers shirara like at all) and keroro feels kinda guilty but not too much bc head empty. later, the corps has a big celebration feast and shurara declares that hell painfully kill the platoon bright and early tomorrow. in all the commotion, nuii convinces gyororo to sneak down into the platoons holding cells to bring them some leftover food.
the next day, the platoon is brought to the same room that they fought the corps in, and theyre tied up. shurara is talkin abt how hes gonna kill them all super painfully and stuff but little does he know that the ropes holding the platoon are actually not secure at all (on purpose), so the platoon all escapes their bindings and a fight with shurara ensues. when the platoon is in a tight spot, one of the corps will show up real quick and help them out, kinda like a support in a fighting game. eventually, shurara is tied up and defeated technically.
shurara is whining and stuff and calling the corps a bunch of traitors, but the corps talk to him about how worried they all are about him and that this whole thing has gone too far (you rlly think these goobers are worth all this effort??). shurara says something about how keroro hurt him before, so he wants to hurt him and his platoon back. the corps are like ya i get that but killing them is wayy overkill no pun intended. keroro apologizes and maybe dororo can say something about how keroro also hurt him in the past but hes been able to move past that or whatever and shurara is like bro ur right and he starts crying like da babey he is lmao and there u have it!!! the arcs over and everyone is ok and happy!!! found family trope pog!!!!!!
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transsexualhamlet · 3 years
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okayokayokay i have like. Q U E S T I O N S because i have *wanted* to read no longer human but have been afraid to SO -
1) what's it like? what do u think of it? im sooo curious 👀
2) do u think that asagiri-sensei based bsd dazai sorta off the book more than off the actual authour? i seem to remember reading that once but i dont remember if it was speculation or not
3) .......just infodump as much as you want, really; im Curious™️ and it looks like ur having fun with the book XD
p.s. - have fun with crime and punishment; thats a book ive DEFINITELY been meaning to read (but i havent had time to yet djfjdjfjf)
AHHHHHHH HI TYSM I WAS HOPING SOMEONE WOULD ASK. I read the entire book in 2 hours before going to bed like four days ago, though it probably wasn't the best time to do it, that shit is nightmare fuel
I'm just gonna preface this with I know basically nothing about the actual author other than what's in the book, also I read the manga version (the junji ito one, yeah) so yeah I'm not sure how much that differs from the original text.
So for how much he based it off of the book vs the actual author, I couldn't really tell you- no longer human is somewhat of an autobiography, so I'd say that those work together. (it's complicated, bc the main character of no longer human is not actually dazai, but dazai is there, and they like??? basically say that that character and dazai are like actually the same person???? and they like, switch places at the end?? its really confusing, but basically, I'm treating the mc of no longer human as dazai himself.) The important stuff about the author that I know of worked into dazai's character is all in no longer human too so,,, yeah. I think saying that it's based more off of that book is probably true, though I don't know what asagiri was thinking.
But about the book itself- Yeah uhhhhhh seriously, I don't really recommend reading no longer human if you have much of a sensitivity to basically anything, especially the graphic novel version because when i say graphic novel i mean Graphic there is so much nudity, sex, s/a, addiction, violence, Mental Illness of all types, religious trauma, obviously suicide, and frankly just visually horrifying stuff
So everything under this is gonna be under a cut just cause Uh Yeah It's A Lot and i do not want to subject everybody to it
But reading it was certainly something I am glad I did, because it did teach me a lot about dazai and how he was created, as well as confirming a lot of theories I had about him that can't be confirmed or denied in bsd canon.
Like me and my friend were just like examining his character and kind of coming up with ideas about him- like we both agreed that he had Motherless Energy TM and that his dad had to have been an absolute fucking piece of shit. Also, we thought that he definitely had to have had A Lot of csa trauma and probably issues having to do with his neurodivergency when he was a child.
Literally all of that ended up being true within the canon of no longer human, so I was kind of impressed that we were so right?? It makes me feel better for thinking a lot of those things, especially since they're just Pretty Fucked Up.
But yeah its. No wonder he turned out that way when he was So Autistic and Masking So Much And So Badly and with absolutely no guidance as how to deal with his neurodivergency other than just fucking let anything anyone wanted happen sooooo he got raped, as a kid, like. A lot. A LOT. And basically ended up thinking that because of this all humans were just horrifying awful monsters and yeahhhhh things pretty much went downhill from there
I don't have a ton of time so you can send me more asks about it lol this is just barely scratching the surface this thing is pretty intense
A lot of other things that I think I can apply to bsd dazai as well, tho they're not gone into that much in the canon:
-This dude is like always fucking drunk or high, cause he just cannot stand being sober that much. He's a serious alcoholic and actually addicted to opioids and I cannot think that much differently about dazai. He's got issues.
but there are a lot of differences between Dazai and the no longer human mc, though there are enough similarities that this is definitely the dude he was based off of.
The main difference is that the no longer human mc is actually just a good guy. He's made a shit ton of stupid fucking mistakes, but he's trying to be a good man and he feels awful for the things he's done, which, I really cannot say Dazai has. Dazai is not a good man, I think everyone knows that. He doesn't really care that much lol
-both of them are like. Weirdly popular with women. Which is hilarious but like, with Dazai he doesn't really take it seriously, and he actually flirts with women. The no longer human guy like. He doesn't hes just like Tragically Attractive and women want to be with him and he has no clue how to say no so he just ends up being a whore bc hes socially useless. It causes a lot of problems bc hes like constantly cheating because of this lol.
-Dazai has a much more poetic view of it all? The no longer human guy is just fucking suffering and hes like why is this happening to me im so awful and i bring misfortune to everyone around me and its not fair and he wants to die and everything but it's not at all in the same way that Dazai does. Dazai acts more like an author than him, in the sense of his "I want a death that is narriatively satisfactory and I want to know the meaning of living by seeing the worst of it and observing how it is to be a human" yeah that's not the same at all. No longer human man really just doesn't understand them and is just. Not having fun
-Also, it's really the thing about Dazai having such an utter lack of religion compared to his original counterpart. Like, the main thing that kept this dude alive for so long was the fact that he had so much religious trauma and was constantly guilty and worried he would go to hell and basically scared of everything. Bsd dazai is like, nearly the opposite, he's the kind of dude who was born and raised atheist, and in the kind of way that he's trying to basically come up with his own meaning of life and religion to follow, whereas the original is struggling to live with one that's been perscribed to him. Both are Very Neurodivergent but it was, handled differently
And yeah i really do have to keep this short, you can totally ask me more and I have a lot more to say but one thing I want to bring attention to is the fact of something they do have in common- their masking. It's a big part of no longer human, about how the mc doesn't understand social customs and what is acceptable or how to talk to people or seriously be happy, so he basically comes up with this "clowning" which is basically, make a fool of himself on purpose all the time so people will never take him seriously or think he's good or smart. That's something dazai completely does, wholeheartedly, and something that fucks him up bad in no longer human. And I think that could be examined a lot more deeply, this dude has issues and so many of them are related to autism. God, I have so many thoughts but aghhhhhhhhhhhhh i hope u enjoy
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zontiky · 3 years
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okay so i tried to save this ask as a draft and it got deleted because tumblr is just such a functional website like that <3 but the prompt was “the hargreeves as ghosts in the apocalypse with five” or something like that i’m going to scream
this is SUPER long so i’m putting it under the cut hfkjsd
pre-five: the hargreeves siblings are dead. wait i feel a drabble coming on ooh
The Hargreeves siblings are dead.
Ben isn’t very aware of this at first. He’s been dead since 2006 -- he’s quite used to it, by now. What he is aware of, first, is light. Blinding white light. And Vanya, in the middle of it. He doesn’t close his eyes because he can’t feel pain, but if he could he thinks she would have made him blind. There’s light, and heat, and power, and then he closes his eyes anyway because the ceiling is collapsing around him and it’s instinctual.
When he opens them again he sees ash. Ash -- and Klaus.
He’s gotten used to Klaus, too. Klaus has a memorable sort of face; even if he didn’t, Ben has seen it every single day for almost twenty years. He doesn’t know if it’s actually been twenty years, for him. He doesn’t know how time moves for ghosts. Klaus has assured him it moves the same as it does for the living. Ben isn’t sure Klaus, stoned out of his mind, bleeding sluggishly from his arm, knew what he was talking about.
Anyway.
Klaus.
He’s wearing the coat he’s been flaunting around for the past week. His shirt is see-through, with little stars on it, like a pale imitation of the sky. Ben remembers his pants had laces on them, he’s sure they did not a minute ago, before the brightness that threatened to wipe out his very soul -- his soul is all he has left, really. His gaze drifts down anyway, to check.
Yes. Klaus’ pants have laces up the sides.
“No,” Ben says. Klaus is laying in a heap on the ground, his fingers curled like his tendons have been cut.
His lips feel numb because they always feel numb. Because Ben can’t feel at all. He takes a step. “No,” he says again, louder, surer. “No!”
Klaus looks up at him. His makeup is smudged, like it tends to be. His lips are bitten raw, like they tend to be. His hair is a mess, like it tends to be, and like it will be, always, because Klaus isn’t breathing.
Klaus is lying in a heap on the ground. Klaus is standing above his own body. Klaus is reaching for Ben like he’s hoping to touch him for the first time in years. Just when Klaus’ cold, dead, fingers brush his face, a voice from behind says, so quietly, dripping with disbelief: “Ben?”
Ben shuts his eyes and wishes desperately he could cry.
He feels a hand on his shoulder, for the first time in so, so long, but he also doesn’t feel it at all. He feels-but-doesn’t-feel someone turn him around, until they are saying, “Ben? Ben!” and he has no choice but to open his eyes and face the music.
Diego is gripping his shoulders like he is a dying man and Ben is the answer. Behind him, Luther and Allison watch them, stunned silent. Allison’s hands are pressed to her mouth. She looks like she wants to cry. 
And Vanya. Little Vanya, painted white. Her head is hung as her shoulders shake with the weight of the destruction she has so inevitably caused. (Ben would say he always knew she was destined for great things -- but he can’t, because he didn’t.) (Nobody ever said great things had to be good.)
The Hargreeves siblings are dead. Their bodies are strewn across what is left of their childhood home, smouldering and burning, and Ben is very aware of that fact.
righto anyway. so they have an emotional reunion but its also kind of bitter? id have to actually write this for it to make sense so lets skip it for now lol
five shows up
he cannot see them obviously bc theyre all ghosts
god if i did write this it would be such a monster of a fic and would take me like 2 years to finish i already know fhkjdsk
somehow ?? they manage to influence the world around them maybe? idk maybe now that klaus is dead hes sober
or maybe hes high for all eternity?
for the purposes of this au lets say he died sober or in the late stages of withdrawal, and bc ghosts cant feel pain in action hes sober
so EVENTUALLY they figure out how to corporealize bc klaus is like blam wham ghost powers
asdlfk that sounds so stupid im sorry
he would say that tho imho,,, it sounds like something hed say,,,
if i DID write this it would be alternating povs also,,,
ok so out of all of them klaus and ben have the most experience homeless
and while being stuck in an apocalypse is not at all the same thing as being homeless it does help to have some knowledge
five doesnt eat the twinkie!! good for him
dammit okay. theres 2 options we can take here. in the comics five couldnt get back bc he fucked up his math and spent 15 years doing the wrong thing, but if u apply that here, with 6 other ppl checking his work this could be avoided and they end up skipping the whole assassin shtick and just hopping straight back to 2019, ready to prevent the apocalypse
OR five still gets hired for the commission but the sibs are tagging along
i think bc five isnt completely alone in this au unfortunately dolores doesnt exist :((
for each other the 2 paths tho theres also options?? bc they (ghosts) can go back in time and inhabit their past selves bodies? OR they could just,,, cease to exist
IM JUST NOW REALIZING HOW MANY PATHS THIS COULD TAKE,, AAH FUCK
okay gonna split this into parts. this is gonna be so long brace yourselves.
1) they go back in time because math checking and the ghosts swap out for their past selves
after multiple years of being stuck in an apocalypse together i think they would learn to get along with each other. like at least a little bit
which would make it easier for them to prevent the apocalypse
bc theyd:
trust each other more
already know abt the apocalypse and not have to wait for five to grace them all with his knowledge
are working as a team from the very beginning
have open lines of communication
yeah uh. so there
vanya is also already aware of her powers so the whole harold goading her into turning against her family and snapping to wipe out all life on earth thing? yeah that doesnt happen
oh and harold wouldn’t know how to do that in the first place because klaus wouldn’t throw out reggie’s journal! this solves so many problems wtf
there’s still commission issues bc they (and by they i mean five) are on the commission’s radar
so there’s still dope fight scenes sdlkfd pinky promise
okay idk. they stop the apocalypse and everything is okay the end hfkjd
2) they fix the math but only five can go back and the ghosts cease to exist
this is just sad! it would be sad okay! im sad! lets move on
subset of the past one: ben CAN go back with five because he was already dead and time travel affects them differently or something idk
aaaaaa
five & ben dynamic duo would be dope as shit BUT five would not be able to see him... so they use klaus as a middleman fjsdsfd
is there 2 bens? is one ben deleted in favor of the time-traveling ben? i dont know! i dont know my brain is melting
either way shit is happening yall!! obviously klaus is clued in, directly or indirectly it doesnt matter but he is on board the ‘don’t let the entire world end in flames’ train
3) they join the commission and then when five goes back in time they all go back
this is fun because now five is a highly trained assassin who is also lowkey a complete marshmallow for his siblings and once again TEAMWORK WOO
basically the first path but now five has a gun fhsdjk
4) they join the commission but five has to leave them behind and they cease to exist
five with a gun but hes sad now
i didnt go into how much losing his siblings would suck in the prev path but like. it would suck so much. he’s already lost them once if you think about it when he time traveled the first time and yeah he found the adult ghost versions but,, its different
and now suddenly hes stuck with these strange adult versions of the people he knows and he KNOWS them but also he doesnt? at all? they dont have all the years of shared experiences together? and theyre all grown up from the first ‘set’ of siblings he had which for five was like 40+ years ago??
SCREAMS
i have losing my mind disease (self-diagnosed)
subset: five has to leave them behind but they still exist because the commission is out-of-time kind of? idk but they’re still floating around somewhere and come back to impact the plot later or something
yeah idk. literally just wrote them down bc i didnt want them to die^2 hfkjwehd
subset: they still exist but instead of being just Somewhere they’re specifically at the assassination of JFK onwards because thats where five left them and they either go on ghosting and make an appearance in s2 OR they cease because them-wise they havent died yet but that doesnt make sense because ghosts can time travel so nevermind
i dont have the brain energy left to explore this one aaaa
okay jesus christ i think that’s all
I DON’T KNOW. i don’t know. i might write some more of this because honestly it is a very fine flavor of angst + hurt/comfort <3
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heyjude19-writing · 3 years
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Im the list anon again and boy do I have more for you but this time I also have some questions as well if your time allows and you are willing to answer of course. First with the other things I loved:
1) the fact that Ron warmed up to Draco so quickly! I genuinely think thats so much in character. Ron is not a distrustful person and as a middle child as they come is very easygoing and would for sure make stupid jokes at Draco
2) The patronus. My god the Patronus. I seriously put the phone down and made a small slow clap during that chapter. At first I was like hmmmm *insert unsure kombucha girl face* because almost all fanfics have him with a dragon patronus and leave it at that (and lets be honest at this point my expectations of you were quite high dont blame me blame your bloody brilliant writing) but then, and I dont know if you did this on purpose or not (I have a feeling you did) but the fact that the dragon was the same (pale white) wounded but still feral dragon that Hermione FREEED (!) from a bank (£££) dungeon, malnourished and used for its nature, surrounded by darkness, wealth and misery!! And it was Hermione who broke its chains!!!!! Is just *chefs fucking kiss* slow clap*
3) the way you describe sex scenes are so natural! Ive never read a fanfic or book that doesnt make me gag a little bit (I am not a fan of smut at all but ill go with it because of a good story) until I read yours. Its so simple but yet intricate and you make the entire act so intriguing and normal and intimate. Bravo.
4) I LOVE SASHA. I love that Theo fell for her head over heels and the way you portrayd her reminded me of a friend of mine who works as a sous-chef in London so I always pictured her when reading it!
5) Dracos inner voice is ON POINT. Like I genuinely think you shoud own the rights to that character now.
6) Ill say it again. I love Ginny. You should also own the rights to her character too.
7) my interest for Quiddich (even when reading the books/wathcing the movies) was on par, if not lower than Hermiones. You managed to get me interested in that too so yes another slow clap to you
7.1) Also such a clever career for Draco!! Made si much sense!
Now to some questions
A) What was the deal with Malfoy referring to Ginny as Weasly and refusing to aknowledge her Potter surname. And why did everyone kept correcting him? It was hilarious granted but I wanted to know whether the reason you included this time and time again had to do wih something deeper? Or was this included as just a funny recurring joke?
B) Why did you choose for Draco to have a “fantasy” to produce a patronus and not for example for him to have had to do that after theyd exchanged “i love yous”. Very interesting angle and i liked that it was sort of a loophole to all the ‘death eaters cant have patronuses’ but quite curious on the thought process
C) Why did you opt for Draco to remove his mark? Do you think that stands as reward for him more or for Hermione? Very smart solution by the way
D) if you have the time- Could you please elaborate a tad more on what the soul-bonding means? Why was it so taboo? At furst hand it seems like a very romantic/amazing thing to do with your partner right?
Lastly- Do you ever itch to make a second part to this? And in the most acceptable case that you dont, I always wondered what you had in mind for them in the future- because of the soul bonding thing, you mentioned that the generational curses will be erased, which means I guess that the Malfoys can have more than one child now, and girls as well. (I cannot believe im asking for this as I am the one to avoid any pregnancy fanfics but) do you imagine them with children and if yes, how many? How do they integrate muggle devices(I know youd agree wit me that Hermione would definitively bring some muggle stuff over!) and which devices would Draco really secretly like?
Pleasewriteasecondpartwhereyouelaborateyourthoughtsonthisthankyou.
Ok rant done. :D
List anon! You’re back with another amazing ask. I’ll do my best!
1.) I like to think Ron matured a lot post-war (not enough to stop making terrible jokes, though.)
2.) Regarding your beautiful analysis of my specific dragon breed for Draco’s patronus: How many points would you like for your Hogwarts house of choice? I will add that according to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, the Ironbelly’s scales are normally a metallic grey. I will also add that I subscribe more to book canon than movie canon. In the book version of events of the Gringotts escape, Harry breaks the chains and Hermione (with eventual help once the boys catch on) destroys the ceiling so it can have a way out. The partially blind dragon does the rest of the work on its own.
3.) Thank you, that’s very flattering.
4.) Does your friend also get you into fancy restaurants and can they make salted caramel bread pudding???
5.) Thank you, it was one of my favorite aspects of writing this story.
6.) Thank you, she’s so fun to write and flesh out from her book portrayal.
7.) Haha, I felt so validated by that line of dialogue in Cursed Child when Draco tells Harry he wanted to play quidditch professionally, but wasn’t good enough.
Now to some answers:
A.) It’s definitely a recurring joke. It’s up to the reader to interpret Draco’s actions here: is he doing it to be a massive troll? Or is he genuinely not retaining the information of her married name because he considers this fact so unimportant that he does not bother to keep it in his brain? Troll, snob, or both, you can decide!
B.) I’ll address the second part of this first, because it was not intended as a loophole. I 1000% do not understand the “death eaters can’t have patronuses” thing. It makes absolutely no sense. Snape has a Patronus. But beyond that… Umbridge has a Patronus (a cat). If we’re letting that woman have a Patronus, then yeah, I think Draco can cast one. As for the vision that Draco used to conjure it… up to you whether that’s a fantasy or a glimpse of a certain ritual actually working. Draco’s thoughts on the matter: “An image of such striking tangibility that he might have already lived it, or perhaps experienced time in such a way that he lived it now.”
C.) I wanted Draco to have a choice, obviously a recurring theme for him in RN. For my characterization of him, that symbol on his arm causes him nothing but shame and self-loathing (see the end of chapter 36 during his heart-to-heart with Hermione). He’d already exercised almost every known avenue to rid himself of it before Hermione entered his life (he lists these in chapter 44). Hermione already loved him (and has told him so) by the time she’s figured out how to remove it: “I love the man you are today and I will love that man tomorrow, bare forearm or not. I simply wanted you, for once, to have the choice. It’s your body.”
D.) Ooh anon, you are tempting me here. I really hate to be coy, but you might see some future writing on this very topic.
I can at least answer the taboo part: I think soul magic in general (horcruxes, the use of unicorn blood) is quite taboo in the HP universe. As no one knows what happens after death (not even ghosts, Nearly Headless Nick says as much when Harry asks him point-blank in OoTP) I think most magical folk would think the intense ritual (blending magical cores) an unnecessary thing anyway. As Draco explains in chapter 48, since no one actually knows the effects or if it works, it’s considered a bit over-the-top since it’s probably futile anyway. It is also not a Vow with a death component; Narcissa is obviously alive in this story even though Lucius is already dead. I wrote the generational curse protection theory in as a dig at Cursed Child for the way they handled Astoria’s character.
The idea of it I think is romantic, but I will stress it is very dependent upon the intent of the two participants. To quote Draco in chapter 48 again: “To twine one’s soul to another showed a willingness to not only physically tether one’s self during your time here on earth, but to commit to a blending of your magical cores, putting faith in your magic to recognize its bonded counterpart in another life. Should other lives even exist.”
If you re-read Draco’s experience during the bonding ceremony in chapter 51 (starting from this bit: “The cognizance of his own powers never felt sharper, more familiar, but suddenly another power pulsed within to join with his.”) you might find it bears a resemblance to the trajectory of their relationship.
Lastly- I’ve left Draco and Hermione to their wedded bliss. I’ve got nothing planned for them beyond where they are in the final lines of chapter 51. I don’t have that itch to write more into their future because it would feel forced. Draco laid out his two envisioned futures with Hermione in chapter 48 when they discuss having or not having children. They are happy and content in the life they chose together. That’s all I ever wanted for them.
You will see more from this story though. I have an entire series of one-shots and outtakes from the published Remain Nameless timeline that I’ll start posting soon.
Thank you so much list anon! These were fun to answer!
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fucnhg-slee-p · 3 years
Text
Hard times
Robert Pattinson x liza
prompt: something stupid leads to something epic
___

This was it, the stupidest idea you’ve ever had.
“We can call it... uh, No cum december”
“What? That’s the worst name ever!” Rob laughed.
You and robert were having game night and having the oh so normal conversation about how you’ve never actually participated in no nut november and for some god forsaken reason, wanted to try it out.
This conversation would have been quite weird with anyone else but you’re known robert your whole life, and when college came around ended up being roommates, the luck was unbelievable. He was your closest and practically only friend so of course you could talk about things like this without it being weird.
“Okay, well I’d like to see you come up with something better then!” You retorted, laughing.
“Uh...well I don’t know, no cum December is fine i guess” he said chuckling, obviously not being able to come up with a better name
“Ha! Uno!” You said putting your last card down.
“What! That’s not fair, you definitely cheated” rob said jokingly
“Yeah yeah whatever you say.” You laughed while putting the cards away and pull out another game.
—-
By now the games were put away and the two of you were watching tv, cuddling.
“Hey! It’s almost 12. In 20 minutes you wont be able to cum for 31 days” you stated, pointing at the time on your phone. Robert looked away from the tv in order to look at you. “In that case ill be right back..” he quickly got up and you both laughed. “I guess I should take advantage of it too”
Both of you were very open with each other so mentioning that you were going to masturbate wasnt really that weird. the only issue was that right now all you could think about was him.. for most of your life you’ve been in love with him, you’ve been in other relationships but it never felt as good as being around robert so of course none of them lasted. It felt wrong to think of him while you were doing this but you couldn’t help it, especially when you knew what he was doing in the next room.
——
11:59
by now you were both back in the living room as if nothing had happened, talking about how dumb this episode of fresh prince was.
12:00
“It’s twelve now, if either of us fail we have to tell each other” robert said, reaching for the popcorn on the coffee table and eating some. “Yeah we have to be honest about it, no cheating” you replied, taking the bowl from him, leaving robert with just a handful. “Hey!” He exclaimed, mockingly upset that you took his popcorn, he threw his handful at you, laughing.
You retaliated by dumping the bowl on his head, “alright, thats it” robert said moving from his spot on the couch to get closer to you, he put his hands on your waist and started tickling you until you had tears in your eyes from laughing too much and begging him to stop. He was laying above you laughing from how cute you looked.
———
It’s been 6 days and you feel like you’re going crazy, everything he does is the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. You feel like hes doing it on purpose, what an asshole.
After a long day (or week) of studying going from class to class, you just needed to relax but you were constantly on edge and robert was making it much worse. Right now he was just standing by the fridge drinking water but it was somehow the most sexual thing you’d ever seen
“Robert?” You sounded kinda pissed off but you really didn’t mean to
“Yeah?” He took a deep breath after completely finishing the bottle, with some water dripping down to his shirt, what the fuck
“What the fuck are you doing?” You were done with his bullshit, yeah it had only been a week but it was torture especially with the way he was acting
“I’m.. drinking water..” he answered with a confused expression, throwing the empty bottle away and walking towards your spot on the couch
“Ok well stop being annoying” you looked back at your notebook to continue with your studies. “Hey! I didn’t even do anything,” he laughed “i think someone needs to get laid, you’re getting a little frustrated huh?” He teased, only making it worse.
“No im completely fine” you lied “I’m just frustrated with all this shit” you said gesturing to your pile of books. you put your head in your hands “god this is just so hard” you were talking about both situations but if you were being honest the main reason for how stressed you felt was because of this stupid challenge it wasnt even for money or some prize, its literally for no reason.
“I’m sorry Liz, i can help out if you want”
“What?” You quickly looked up at him with a slightly shocked expression that you’re sure he didn’t notice “if you need help with your classes and stuff I’m here for you”
“Oh.” you sighed in both relief and disappointment “no its okay”
“Well if you need me I’m here” he put his hand on your shoulder and it sent a spark through your whole body. “How are you doing with this challenge anyway?” You changed the subject back to the only thing you could think about
“I’m okay, it was really hard for the first few days but now its kinda fun, especially when you think about how it’ll feel at the end of the month, you know? Waiting so long and then finally-“ “ok shut up!” You cut him off, this was all too much. He laughed “uh, do you wanna play Mario kart?” He asked softly, rubbing your back “yeah sure, i think i need a break from this anyway” you smiled at him, making sure not to stare too long.
——
After about 2 hours of playing and him winning almost every time, you ordered pizza and played uno while you waited. The whole time you were stuck on the way his hands moved and how his arms looked so good in the shirt he was wearing, he knew you were half zoned out but he figured you were just stuck thinking about school again.
The knock at the door pulled you from your haze “ill get it, you put the cards away” you said getting up to open the door.
You both ate in a comfortable silence for a while, little did you know he was suffering just as much or worse than you were. At this point you were both shamelessly staring at each other without the other even realizing.
Eventually you realized he was looking you up and down as if you were the only girl in the world and hes been waiting his whole life to have you, you slowly looked away as not to startle him or let him realize you were staring too, or even caught into the fact that he was looking at you with such hunger, which by the way was extremely painful to see from how hot it was.
the tv was quietly playing avatar “if you had a flying bison what would you name it?” You broke the silence
“Hm? Uh.. I don’t know, maybe Bryan”
“That’s an ugly name” you laughed
“Okay well what would you name a flying bison?”
“I would name it robert” you said, forgetting that you were talking to robert
he smiled “aw you’d name him after me?”
your eyes widened subtly “no.. i would just name him robert”
“Yeah ok” he joked, his hand brushed your outer thigh, for a little too long
You inhaled sharply at the sensation. It was only a short moment but it felt like forever and as wild as your thoughts were running it was much much worse now.
You don’t think he even realized how intense that was for you, it must’ve been all in your head, you need to calm down.
———
Now it’d been 10 days, you’re surprised you lasted more than 24 hours, really. But god these last few days have been hell, you’re sure roberts teasing you on purpose, trying to see how long you’ll last when he ‘bumps’ into you or takes his shirt off because ‘it’s too hot’ even though it was freezing. If one more thing happened you were done. You were at the library, trying to catch a break from the stress, listening to music and reading a short novel that caught your attention, sitting in the library always made you feel good. After a few hours of being there you decided it was time to head back to your dorm, on the way there you got a hot tea from the local bakery.
Walking into your dorm you were greeted by robert, sitting on the couch watching some documentary about something stupid. “Hey, i got you a muffin” you said putting your stuff down and taking your coat off. “God its so cold out there”. You handed him the muffen and sat next to him, silently watching the documentary and drinking your tea, figuring out it was about aliens. Without your knowledge he wasnt watching the tv, he was intently watching the way you drank the tea, the way your lips wrapped around the cup was addictive to him. And then it happened, he stretched and you glanced at him from the sudden movement, right then you knew it was over, you took a second look and you could’ve died, his stomach was peaking out from the hem of his shirt and his head was tossed back, showing off his collarbone, and his arms stretched above his head showing off his muscles. You were done. You were completely lost in a trance, staring at him for far too long
“What?” He asked sounding worried.
“I cant do this anymore” you let out a breath you didn’t know you we’re holding. Your eyes trailed down to his lips for a moment and he realized what you meant.
“You need me, don’t you?” You almost whined when he said that, he knew exactly how badly you wanted him, there was no denying it.
You both leaned in slowly, testing the waters before your lips finally crashed together, your whole body felt electric, you were on fire.
Pulling away for a moment, you felt dizzy. Resting your forehead on his to let your lungs catch a break. All you could do was smile “you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that” you said leaning in to kiss him again. It felt just as intense as the first time, he pulled you into his lap without breaking the kiss, your hands gripping into his hair while his hands roamed over your whole body.
He pulled on your bottom lip with his teeth and deepened the kiss, if that was even possible. He rubbed his hands up and down your thighs taking his time to get where you wanted him. “Please” you groaned, desperate for more
Obliging, he started to rub his fingers over your underwear delicately, gradually building pressure “mmh fuck” you moaned into his neck. “I’m already so close”
Suddenly he stopped and pulled away to look into your eyes. “Wake up”
“What?” You asked, voice laced with confusion
“I said, wake up” he said more aggressively this time, reaching to pinch you.
Your eyes opened and you were in bed, out of breath and covered in sweat. “What the fuck” you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes and got dressed quickly.
Walking into your shared living area you grabbed a snack and headed out to class — you were running late so you kind of rushed out. On your way there you texted robert, making movie night plans for when you both got back to your dorm.
Every time you closed your eyes you could see everything from your dream so clearly. You were barely hanging on at this point
Walking back home was dreadful for a number of reasons, one, it was freezing, two, youd have to see robert and be the way you always are with each other and not accidentally let your feelings slip out
Your phone buzzed
You got a text from robert
“I got Wendy’s, get home asap! I’m gonna eat your food >:)”
Smiling to yourself you sent a quick response warning him not to and started walking faster. Forgetting how hard it was to keep your feelings down, you were just excited to hang out with your best friend for the night, even though you spent most nights together, you were never tired of each other
You opened the front door and walked inside “Robert! You better not have ate my food” you yelled through the small apartment
Robert walked out of his room half naked, his only covering being the towel wrapped around his waist. clearly he’d just gotten out of the shower. “Dont worry i waited” he laughed. There’s no way this wasnt on purpose.
“Go put clothes on so we can eat and watch our movie!”
“Why am i distracting you” he smirked, his tone changing drastically. Still standing by the front door He walked up to you caging you between the wall and his body “is it hard for you to focus when I’m practically naked?”
It felt as though all of the air left your body, you closed your eyes for a minute to try to keep your cool— “liza?”
You opened your eyes again and robert was standing in front of you, at a normal distance — fully clothed
“You okay?”
“Yeah sorry, just stressed. Everything’s fine”
These daydreams are fucking brutal
You both ate in a peaceful silence and watched Scott pilgrim. After it was over you were having a regular conversation on the couch
“I think I’m gonna head to bed, its getting late” you said, about to get up.
“Wait” rob stopped you, “i have to tell you something”
He said nothing, just stared at you while trying to figure out the best way to get the words out. “You failed didnt you?” You teased, knowing whatever he had to say was more serious than the stupid bet “no no, thats not it” he chuckled, getting lost in your eyes
He moved a strand of hair out of your face and kept his hand on your cheek. Both of you just staring, too scared to make the first move. “Rob?” He hummed in response, eyes flickering to you lips “what did you want to tell me?”
He leaned in and softly kissed you. Before he could pull away you held onto his face.
“I have a crush on you” he whispered into the kiss, deepening it.
You moaned in response, climbing into his lap “is this real?” You said with desperation. “I hope so” he said putting his lips back into yours, pulling himself off the couch and walking into his room with you in his arms, not breaking the kiss
he gently laid you on his bed and held himself above you, moving his lips down your neck and sucking on a sensitive spot. He tugged at the bottom of your shirt, you sat up to help him get it off and he continued kissing down your body, stopping here and there until he made it to the waistline of your pants, he looked up at you while slowly pulling them down “please” as much as you loved how gentle he was being it was torture to go this slow “patience baby girl” he said kissing over your panties softly, moving them to the side he swiped his fingers through your folds then bringing them to his mouth, licking them clean “so wet already, how long have you wanted this to happen huh?” He said putting his fingers on you again. “Too long” you moaned.
Stopping his movements he pulled his ring off and put it on your finger, then continued his work, sliding his fingers inside of you now, slowly pumping them. “faster please” you cried out, grabbing into his hair. He thankfully started going faster, and faster and holy shit “fuck I’m so close don’t stop” your words were slurring together and you could hardly concentrate on anything going on beside the way his fingers felt “pleasepleaseplease” at this point the only thing coming out of your mouth was a string of cursing and pleas to keep going, and finally after two weeks of barely hanging on you felt so good it almost hurt, but he didnt stop there. He kept going, keeping up with his fast pace and now licking and sucking on your clit, you felt so sensitive it hardly took much to fall over the edge again and he still didnt stop until your third time and you couldn’t feel your legs.
“Holy shit” you said out of breath as he moved up your body to kiss you softly “did i hurt you?” You shook your head in response, moving your hand down his body, “no, you don’t have to”
“I want to”
He stayed hovering over you as you stroked him at an agonizingly slow pace. After a while you pushed him down to lay beside you and you continued to take your time. It felt so intimate. “I love you” you whispered onto his lips as you kissed him. “I love you too” he said with so much admiration in his eyes. You moved your lips down his body and kissed his tip gently “I’m close” he pushed his head into the pillow and squeezed his eyes shut “please. Faster”
You obliged, moving you hand faster and taking him in your mouth, matching the pace of your hand. “Liza” he moaned quietly. You hummed around him in response. “I love you so much”. With a few more strokes he finished and you pulled off oh him, “i love you too” you said laying down on his chest “i cant feel my legs”
“Good” he said, wrapping is arms around you.
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