#being vulnerable on the internet... scary... but my beautiful wife deserves it

[dreamwinged]

soooo hi everyone!!! today , the 24th (nevermind im posting this like HALF A DAY LATE but life got in the way yk... just pretend ok...) marks my one year anniversary with my f/o; 🔮, The Mystery Man u all know (and possibly?) love LOL <3 so i just wanted to talk about it and him a little bit 💗

to be honest it's pretty much impossible for me to say everything i want to say and express just how deeply i feel while still maintaining the level of anonymity that i'm comfortable with on here. but i did my best! <3 this character means quite a lot 2 me and i hope i described that properly even without details dhjfnsdjfnsdf. alright disclaimer over time to yap

warning this is SO LONG ❤️

🔮 is a character that i liked from the moment i saw him which is so corny but true im afraid . a little over a year ago there was a tiktok of him on my for you page out of the blue, and i was genuinely just like 😦 ... WHO IS THIS! .. i guess it's time i get into [insert media name]😁. i instantly felt a connection to him, before i even knew his name!!! it sounds SO SILLY but when i'm feeling particularly indulgent about the whole thing i imagine it was a sign from the universe ;3

although i was attached to 🔮 pretty much immediately, i started to really feel emotionally invested when i learned more about him as a character. the way he was written was so poignant to me, and i could sympathize with a lot of aspects of his personality . . . i Mustn't Speak too much here for the most part, but he became super special to me, and i just wanted to see him happy ya know :'3

from there on out, things were super cool!! i started collecting merch, got really into 🔮's source media and its community (i have him to thank for like. at least a dozen online friends... i was always "the [charactername] mutual" LMFAOO). he became a major part of my life, and was pretty much the only thing i thought about, happy or sad. and when i was feeling down, he was hands down my biggest solace. last year was really not great for me, yet thinking about him was like a reprieve from all the Terrible Shit. i'm still in disbelief at the level of comfort he brings me, it's honestly insane /pos and i never wanna live without it now . < 3

so yk of course a lot more has happened over the course of a year, but in general, i feel like i owe a lot to 🔮!!! i learned what selfshipping was through him, and as a result, have gained so many lovely friends and great experiences in this community. <3 he gives me so many extra reasons to be happy; i cant help but smile when i see things that remind me of him out in the world and stuff like that, nd like i never wouldve had that added joy if not for him yk? and even though he's not real , 🔮's given me something to care for, an escape from everything and somewhere safe to put all the Love I Have To Give. which can be really hard to find!!! i hope in some alternate universe i make him feel even half this happy LMAO ^__^

anyway that was sooo sappy and i edited it like a thousand times to try and make it less so because i am so very very uncomfortable expressing a single Emotion but like It Just Is What It Is. bottom line isss I Love My Wife so much, i've loved him for a year and will probably love him for a lot more years idk i cant tell the future but that's what it's lookin like folks. AND I LOVE ALL OF YOU TOOOOOO/p thank u 2 all my lovely mutuals 4 being my friend and stuff <3333 hugging u heart emoji

#THIS IS SO FUCKING LATE IM GONNA CRY . AIUHLSIFDJHGASFG #. 🔮. ⋆₊˚⊹♡ #.gush #.anni #WASEHFAUSDHFASDGHH.... TEARS UP #. . . if You Know please dont look at this im so embarassed . /j #being vulnerable on the internet... scary... but my beautiful wife deserves it

[tinajaxen]

This man has perpetuated insecurities in me where I now feel really unloved, unwanted and it was very important for him to use the word “insecure” on Twitter 2022 like it’s easy to get success or fame and that any work isn’t about hard work on someone (at that point) ready for a mental health home. I am working in an opposite direction but I come from thy reality. I have had a vulnerability not ready for work before as in a full independent way (have now done massive progress in the opposite direction) or living in an apartment. People notice something vulnerable and fuck with that. I don’t fuck with that. We know this is more serious than any of his issues.

This man encourages suicide, narcissism and schizophrenia. As fucking sad as it is he’s just in a soup ppl having picked up on the same shit. As much as we can get that off of pop culture the luckier we would be to live in a safer world. All of that shit is like the worst crap to bring into a household (mom dad me) and others. Fuck everybody for believing schizophrenia is something beautiful. To have sometimes been paranoid in the real world is one of the shittiest experiences. The believe fully a thing is another than what it is SUCKS.

There’s a (honestly trendy) toxicity in men to isolate young women, make them want to be fat, take away what feels special and wash them out to be ready for a settely downy life. I will always talk about that and toss the songs of true fairytale and truly erotic energy at y’all who can’t live up to that. Girls want intensity and massive affirmation in a way more charming than ready to get boring way than you. If girls feel boring honestly it’s mostly guys making them feel that way. I think girls also fucking hate men who don’t tell girls how to suck dick right. Y’all will just expect really cringy international dissolved scary general sexy porn shit that also feel really outside of a specific context and fantasy where I think men and women could meet. From my last two exes the way they watch porn feels middle aged Swedish man not satisfied ready to cheat on a curvier woman whatever the look. That comes from something. Not just my own insecurities seriously but like a real world of the internet. Fuck ALL of that, it ain’t a young girly woman’s youth. I think my exes have been watching really shitty 9gag porn boredom shit that obviously isn’t girlhood. Fuck off.

In whatever way we can take down his career we will and friendly people in his life to separate themselves from him when he isn’t deserving of anything that is not this perpetual idea that he doesn’t deserves to sit on his ass comfortable in an apartment, do drugs and do a hobby he called hate watching on young women that deals with almost prepared to quit their lives and give up.

Do not give Drew Monson love, he deserves therapy only in the way where he starts treating his family friends and relationships as regular ppl and gives up some sort of idea that he’s even interesting being talked bout. I’m very bored.

I wanted true love in 2016 like that. Why didn’t that happen then. You are not fun enough to want someone then or now. Whether that’s depression that’s too boring for girlhood. Not good enough. Get the fuck off of the internet. Honestly all ppl like this. Stop thinking you are a safe person around other people. Get yourself off of everybody. I’m not wife material in that boring way. I will only run around irresponsibly now, that’s what I’ve always wanted. What I’ve always been like. Don’t romanticize underdeveloped girls with delayed puberty sucking your dick. You “loving” this from a far isn’t true love to me. All my true loves are in the DMS right now in my youth and they aren’t. I don’t “get to know” anybody. I run into it. It’s all power play. My real men have always been in the DMs and in the bars and in the parks and in the spontaneity, clearly you’re not good enough. As dad says he is absolutely narcissistic and needs in the best of both worlds to be locked up from the emotional danger he will continue to do on other people. But the biggest relief is that his existence is just pointless. I don’t care what happens to him.

I want the worst eftects on him and only seek revenge. I hope my tweets, posts have made its way to his sphere and other people watching where people take steps away. It’s the kid that wants to do harm you have to stay away from.

I hope this pain lasts for you and that you never come out of this. Truly. I hope for nothing less than a life lasting effect to always have brought you down.

#thoughts #spilled thoughts #tina jaxen #tumblr thoughts #thought #tinajaxen #singer #words #artist #tumblr thought