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#binary doesnt mean your gender is 'simple' it just means that you are comfortable within a binary system even of you dont personally identi
transmaverique · 26 days
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gonna be honest I see anyone talking about this "my gender is more complicated than yours" shit as someone who genuinely cannot comprehend that other people that don't share certain traits with them can still in fact have rich interior lives. as an agender trans woman who uses she/her I've never had anyone say it to me who wasn't (usually unknowingly) transmisogynistic
see but im not talking about "rich interior lives" and the assumption that i am is exactly what im talking about. i am talking about the actual physical way that reality treats and percieves me in comparison to the way it treats and percieves you. saying my gender is "more complex" means to me that i am physically incapable of existing in a strictly binary world and that there is no thing i can pass as bc "binary man" and "binary woman" are both incorrect for me. and the Cisiety in question does not allow androgyny to exist - it is exclusively the timeframe people have to decide whether they think you are a cisman or a ciswoman, or a failure and a freak. i dont subscribe to that "binary privilege" shit, thats not how privilege works. but there are differences in the ways both you and i can navigate this strictly binary Cisiety!!! and those differences deserve to be named, imo
like. again. i dont have to comfort you about your own internal sense of gender before youll listen to me about my experiences in the real world as genderqueer. as a different sort of transsexual than you.
(and bc i Know what binary ppl love to say: i know not everyone is 'capable of passing'. what i am talking about specifically is the difference between being unable to pass as a cis woman or a cis man vs being unable to pass bc what i am does not exist AT ALL in a binary society, and both of those things are incorrect ans unattainable.)
(anyways if that language is too imperfect for you thats like fine but. its just confusing to me, i dont get why its hard to understand what we are talking about here. our experiences w our nonbinary genders are completely different! why do i have to discuss them like theyre the same?)
#do you consider yourself transfem first or agender first on an internal level?#do you feel like you are predominantly treated as a trans woman in your day to day? does that hurt the part of you that is agender?#< not trying to grill u or anything im genuinely curious#ive had similar convos w my transmasc and transfem nonbinary friends as well as like. my gnc binary trans friends#i am just curious bc. like i said 'binary' isnt a bad thing to be and frankly since u identify urself as agender ur not really the target a#dience here anyways?#the idea that theres no such thing as a binary trans person just#fundamentally misunderstands the extremely broad swathe of nonbinary experiences and treatments#my passing transmasc enby friends dont particularly feel touched by transphobia unless theyre clocked or unless our areas laws changed#but some DO feel like they r effected by exorsexism on a day to day by being assumed to be binary men and having the other parts of their i#entities erased#while others are completely comfortable being percieved as strictly men and moving through life strictly as men#which is sounds like. i would guess youd have a similar position since u exclusively use she/her?#like.. it sounds to me like your 'rich interior life' doesnt really have an outward effect on the way people percieve and treat you and the#way you react to it which is very different from my experience#binary doesnt mean your gender is 'simple' it just means that you are comfortable within a binary system even of you dont personally identi#y with it. and maybe this is a case of 'political identity vs personal identity'??#and all of this is FINE its just. literally every time i talk about my own unique positioning my transandrogyny or whatever gives me#people crawl out of the woodwork to tell me my experiences are not actually unique#do u see what my issue is? my own trans experiences are erased bc other people 'disagree' with . what. my perspective as an 'unaligned' enb#? when its like. literally none of us are gonna have the same needs or experiences as trans people#and if 'binary' works to show that you are fine and comfortable being percieved exclusively as a woman#and 'nonbinary' works to show i am not#i dont really see what the issue w using the word 'binary' is#like i said. its not a slur. its not a bad thing to be.#and tbh i think this insistence that 'unaligned' nonbinary ppls perspectives arent actually unique to binary or 'aligned' nonbinary ppls is#directly contributing to like. lateral bigotry coming from said 'unaligned' enbies. like if u put urself in my shoes for a second and u gre#up being constantly told you were either a cis invader who didnt actually have any trans experiences and that only people who want to 'full#transition' were REAL transsexuals then. youd be kinda jaded too right? and im sure you ARE kinda jaded lol.#anyways. sorry for rambling at you i dont have any more tags left lol
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hualian-blessing · 3 years
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why mcyttwt does not think some (if not most) of the time when it comes to mcc
if i post this in twitter, i’d surely get hated upon but someones gotta have to say this one day. also this does not target to mcytblr!!! this rant is more of towards mcyttwt!!!
remember how mcyt was so chill before all of this shit? how we would watch our favorite minecraters when the community was so small? or how mcc was an event that both ccs and fans can have some fun and entertainment once per month? and that was only last year too. now look at the new generation of mcyt fans and see why some of the old fans dont really associate the new ones.
as a fan of the old gen mcytbers like DanTDM, SkyDoesMinecraft, Aphmau and CaptainSparklez. heck im a fan of pewds’ minecraft series before dream or tommy or ranboo or the new gen of mcyt ccs blew up (a year before them if im correct), and we dont see drama or bad shit all the time when it comes to their content.
now compare that to the new gen where every single fucking day, a bored fan or anti would post shit drama in twitter where some of the people from twitter moved to tumblr just to not get a headache from the batshit craziness mcyttwt brought forth. and it just snapped more when the mccp21 rolled in.
heres some of my takes about the mccp21 issue:
1) “there’s a lack of representation of lgbtq+ in the teams!!!”
heres something to tell yall about that. scott doesnt have a fucking choice. scott smajor has told time and time again, WEEKS before the announcement of teams, that there are certain requirements and limitations to mccp21 thus there will be difficulty in choosing whos entering or whos not. limitations and requirements such as it will be streamed on youtube or how streamers with twitch contracts aren’t allowed to stream or (god bless scott’s good heart) scott not allowing some of the lgbtq+ streamers in joining the special event due to wanting them to have a chance to stream and experience their first mcc (so to those who said that ranboo should have been in mccp21, shut up ‘cuz scott wanted genderman to have fun streaming his first mcc but cant due to ranboo being a well-known twitch streamer). to those who complained that ant and velvet should be in the mcc, stop being selfish and do some actual research on why scott didn’t include them. a simple question to those two’s fans would answer that they can’t make it due to them camping for a week which within those days is the mccp21. they’re having time to themselves, not wasting it on a minecraft championship. 
take in the consideration that, oh i dont know, not a lot of lgbtq+ ccs applied to the event? its not a free invite championship (in fact, mcc has always been like that), it’s an applied with the sufficient and correct requirements kind of event. the artist who created the icons from the previous mcc for the teams said that scott let in some of the new ccs in last minutes due to lack of applicants not meeting the requirements thus not having custom artworks for the teams if they want to announce the teams in time.
2.) “there’s no lesbians or trans in the teams >:(((”
sadly enough, there’s not much of the players from the lgbtq+ community but to say there’s no trans people in mccp21 is utterly false. by definition, trans mean  denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex. other genders such as non-binary, genderfluid, androgyne, bigender, gender expansive all fall under trans. you define yourself with the gender you personally chose and comfy with from you birth gender. so saying there’s no trans in the teams when there are players from the event like eret or sqaishey who are nb and genderfluid respectively are there to also represent not only the sexuality but also the gender identity of others??? like c’mon, please make sense mcyttwt. 
also, while its sad to not see lesbians, please know that lgbtq+ doesn’t strictly be defined by lesbians. ffs, lgbtq+ literally means Lesbians Gays Bisexuals Transgenders and Questioning (or Queer but im not too sure about that one) which means that there are still other representatives for the community in the event.
3) “technoblade is in the event?!!! WHAT THE FUCK, HES A HOMOPHOBE/LESBIPHOBE-”
utter clowns, toxic twitter users are. do you really think that scott smajor, an openly gay man, would let a supposed “homophobe/lesbiphobe” in an event that focuses in supporting the lgbtq+ community? do you hear yourself? do you even do research where the joke he made was when he was the same age as me and it was based on a historical article back in WW2? or how he passionately supports the community especially the lesbians because a lesbian couple complimented him to which kickstart his confidence? the man willingly went to this mcc event despite being flamed a lot in twitter because he (and everyone) knows that his chat, his fans and supporters, are literal millionaires. if you saw a stream from foolish where he auctioned canonical characters for funs, a techno fan donated thousand of dollars to get technoblade, and that’s only one fan, now imagine a hundreds of thousands of them.
like it or not, technoblade has always been open about his support to the community, especially that majority of his fanbase are from the same community that mcyttwt allegedly swore that technoblade hates.
4) “since this mccp21 is pointless because theres no dteam, quackity, punz or (insert cc name), let’s have a watch party of the previous mccs to spite mccp21!!!” “let’s hope (insert cc name) stream on the 26th so mccp21 doesnt have the same amount of viewership like before!!!” “where are (insert cc name)??? gosh, this mcc is so boring without them!!!”
shut up shut up shut up shut up shut the actual fuck up. are you really seriously hearing yourself? are you willing and proudly boycotting a once in a year special event that is seriously needed by the lgbtq+ community? are you that cruel and selfish to sacrifice a project that helped tons of people just for your sick entertainment and desires? are you that evil to stop others from enjoying and donating to the trevor project? are you that inconsiderate of other ccs that aren’t part of dsmp and calling them boring? and for what? because your favorite cishet streamer isn’t there? oh booofuckinghoo! you’re so fucking petty to even post about this kind of tweets in public.
(edit: did yall honestly thought that without your favorite streamers that the mcc is not worth watching because they aren't there? well let me tell you, im a ranboo fan. ive watched him when he first entered the dsmp and watched him spinning in his unicorn chair for 5 minutes. the boo community waited for so many months for genderman to join mcc yet we didn't even do that kind of disgusting action and behavior every time he isn't in mcc. 8 months. that's how long ive watched him. ive waited 8 months for him to be in the event yet i still watch other povs like tommy's, puffy's, wilbur's, and etc., because it's fun and entertaining to watch them despite the beloved not participating in the games.
if you're that spoiled to not even watch mcc because (insert cc whose not part of mccp21 name here) isn't part of the roster then you most likely have a one dimensional humor because there will always be someone more funny and entertaining than them. i like dsmp don't get me wrong, but i found parrot's school smp funnier than dsmp yet you don't see me insulting both series, do you? learn to keep yourself if you're calling ccs as boring or dull or not entertaining enough due to not having the same big platform as the dsmp members.)
you don’t deserve to call yourself a fan if you’re doing this kinds of actions. in fact, people like you should be kicked out from the mcyt community because your kind of people are the reason why we look so bad from the outside. your toxic and self-entitled to these content creators are the reason why famous ccs like sbi, purpled, tubbo and almost ranboo left twitter/implied strict rules to their subtwts. you drove out an entire friend group that tons of fans found comfort in from the platform and you still have the audacity to this kind of shit? honestly, just leave before you give me a headache.
what im sayin’ is that mcyttwt is one of the worst, if not THE worst, subtwts out of the other subtwts in twitter. having no actual research or evidences or spreading false information is common in twitter where you would have to take what they said with a micro size grain of salt. mcyttwt already ruined the fun and spirit of mcc during its comeback in mcc14 due to the glitch and beta testing shit (ey i still stand for the ranboo beta testing but i know that will be worthless since theres hints of him joining soon in mcc15). if you’re still in mcyttwt, i suggest to get out of there while you still can. we’ll never know if there’s a bigger shitstorm than this in the mcyttwt that may happen in the future.
edit! hi bella again, ive been told by a polite and cool user that not all people from mcyttwt are toxic and/or cruel. im going to clear something up here. ive written this during the heat of the announcement of mccp21 teams. so there's a lot of complains and/or entitled people in the app (you can even see it in my previous post too if you want evidences!) that gave off mostly negative vibes towards the event.
ive seen the cool ones who actually took the consideration for scott's side and the criticism of the lack of representation of other communities within the lgbtq+ umbrella (ive even share some parts of it above so im also a bit upset to the lack of numbers in the community). and some of them are correct about recruiting lgbtq+ creators in youtube but! like i said, it's an applied event and not invitational one, so its up to that content creator if they want to join or not. the amount of cishet in the roster are just those who want to support the cause and/or backups/stand-ins in case scott and noxcrew can't find enough ccs in time!
just wanna clear this up because mcyttwt these days are covered by really cringe fans (ive noticed a pattern of them mostly new ones but there are still awesome new fans (like my irl friend who just joined this year) within the community) that covered the good ones where they enjoy, have fun and share some neat ideas and thoughts to the community within the platform!
when i said to get out of the mcyttwt while you still can, i meant to get out of there to avoid drama (that is really small contrast those who really need to address the issue) and take a break from it. it's still your choice if you want to be surround by it or not or if you want to come back to the app. all im saying is to buckle up for the shitstorm cuz this is not the last time that the twitter side of mcyt will cause negativity to the community.
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helloooooo!! can i request some headcanons for the demon brothers with a MC that is Non Binary but is afab and insecure about being afab and doesnt feel like they are Non Binary. platonic or romantic either one is fine. thank you. also Jaehee is a Queen period.
I haven’t had Mystic Messenger installed on my phone for like a year and this blog is mostly, if not exclusively Obey Me rn, but I refuse to change my url because it remains true. Jaehee is the best and deserves the world <3
Also don’t mind me casually throwing in some Devildom/Celestial Realm gender headcanons as an intro~
Warnings: Mentions of gender dysphoria, internalized transphobia, insecurity gang rise up. I’ll try and keep it more general since this is meant to be a comfort/fluff piece.
The Brothers With an Insecure (AFAB) Nonbinary MC
As a whole, the Devildom doesn’t really do traditional gender. The variety in demons’ and fallen angels’ appearances makes for such a diversity of body types that markers of femininity and masculinity are easier to disregard. It’s commonplace to provide one’s pronouns along with their name when meeting someone new, and any changes in a demon’s presentation are noted with little more fanfare than a new haircut.
Even angels don’t really get preoccupied with gender: in fact, as MC discovered one day while talking with Luke and Simeon, most barely grasp the concept of what a gender is. Simeon had mentioned that this occasionally resulted in him forgetting the genders of his characters, resulting in TSL being extremely popular among transgender and nonbinary fandom communities.
But MC is not from the Devildom, nor are they from the Celestial Realm. They’re from the human world, with its reductive views on bodies, presentation, and identity. A year in the Devildom can’t erase a lifetime of cissexism.
Some days, it wears on them more than others.
Lucifer
Lucifer is always aware when MC’s self image starts wavering
As someone who has fought tooth and nail to remain true to himself, he understands the struggle of facing resistance to this
But the idea of it coming from within is somewhat foreign to him
Nonetheless, he’ll do anything within his power to make MC feel better
Will calmly, but firmly assert that MC is the only one who can determine their identity
It’s not about how they were born or raised, but who they know themself to be deep down
If it’s their gender dysphoria making them feel invalid, he’ll try and minimize it however he can
Need a different RAD uniform? No problem. Worried about being perceived a certain way? Anyone who stares at MC for too long or even dares to make a comment about their presentation is getting the Lucifer Death Glare.
Physical/body dysphoria? The Devildom has tons of temporary and permanent solutions for that, they can try whatever they’d like
It is vital for the success of the exchange program that all the students feel comfortable and well-accommodated
Also MC is very dear to him and he hates to see them suffering
Mammon
As soon as he notices MC is upset, he is READY TO FITE
Who’s been messing with them?!
What? They don’t feel like they’re really nonbinary? Are they questioning again, or—
Oh. Oh…
Well that’s stupid! What do you mean you don’t “look nonbinary”?! What’s there to look like? Humans are so weird about this stuff, look: you want to know what someone’s deal is, you ask! And their answer? That’s it! End of story, there ya go!
It’s not so simple in the human world, MC tries to explain
Mammon huffs and mumbles something about how it should be, but he can see this avenue isn’t making MC feel better
It seems whatever junk ideas the human world has about gender really gets into people’s heads…
Well, whenever Mammon wants to take his mind off of something, he opts for something exciting! Hitting the casino, making new plans that’ll definitely work this time, maybe even try and pull a prank on one of his brothers…?
But if MC just wants to cuddle and watch some mindless TV or play video games he doesn’t mind doing that either…
Leviathan
Levi knows, without fault, every single TSL characters’ pronouns and identities, if and how they change through the series, and between different media adaptations
He can (and will) list all the nonbinary characters like a gender Pokemon Rap, with special attention on those who match MC’s presentation and/or AGAB
(Not that AGAB is essential or even always available information, but dysphoria is not a rational creature, and Levi is very familiar with irrational emotions)
Would MC say that any of these characters aren’t really nonbinary because of how they look or how they started out? Then why are they any different?
But if something about their appearance is really bothering them, he might have a solution
Cosplay
Well, sort of
Crossplayers use all sorts of techniques to masculinize or feminize their appearance when necessary, and Levi’s pretty familiar with most of them
So if MC wants to try some out to see if it makes them feel more comfortable, he wouldn’t mind showing them! You know… if they’re… interested…
Also double-checks to make sure it’s okay that he calls them his “Henry” and assures them that it’s about the character’s role and personality, and not some sort of gender-based comparison
Unless... they like the comparison? andwouldliketocosplayasHenrytohisLordofShadows??
Satan
Who said this to you, MC.
Names. Now.
Boy gets frothing mad when MC explains it’s a societal and cultural problem, not an individual one, that fuels their insecurity.
If they don’t want to hear an hour long rant about the rich history of human gender expression and identity, they need to cut him off fast
If he could maim the concept of transphobia, he would
But alas, this is not a problem that can be solved (entirely) with violence
So he has to find other ways to show his support
Ask him about any notable trans, nonbinary, or otherwise gender nonconforming figures from human or demon history. He’ll happily tell MC all about them.
But, at the end of the day? In his opinion, there’s one person that shines above the rest
Someone who braved the longest odds, who persisted against the fiercest enemies and even turned them into their closest friends
Who saw others at their worst and sought to bring out the best in them…
*stage whispers* He’s talking about you
If there’s anyone who’s going to believe in the right to self determination and the irrelevance of your origins to your present identity, it’s Satan
And if anyone ever does try to tell MC that their doubts about themself are true?
Just give him their name and don’t ask questions
Asmodeus
So they’re worried about being too feminine? Is there such a thing?
If that’s the case, they can be “too feminine” together
Asmo’s gender nonconformity has earned him praise all throughout his life, so the idea of being ashamed of such a thing is alien to him
But he does know what it’s like to have an audience who expects a specific image from you
And the fear of disappointing them
But gender isn’t a performance
Well, it is, sometimes, poor choice of words: but it’s a performance for you
Asmo presents the way he does because it’s what makes him happy, same with the rest of the brothers
MC shouldn’t be any different
If they’re looking for a more masculine wardrobe or just want a change of pace, he’ll happily help them find clothes that make them feel more comfortable, but his main concern is that they know they’re free to wear what they’d like, act how they’d like, and it doesn’t change who they are
Whatever image they want to make of themself, he can get them there, but only if it’s because they want it, not because it’s what they think they’re supposed to be like, okay?
Beelzebub
When MC first confesses to Beel that they feel like they’re not really nonbinary because of their body, he kinda looks around and gestures as if to say “really? Down here?”
Has MC ever noticed that RAD doesn’t have gendered sports teams?
Yeah, if they separated people by something as irrelevant as gender or Diavolo forbid, sex, people would get seriously injured or worse
There are so many ways to be a man or a woman or a nonbinary person, and they’re not always what you’d expect
Some of Beel’s best teammates and scariest opponents look and act nothing like you’d expect them to
If they’re feeling disconnected from their body, Beel is totally down to work out with them, keep them grounded in all the good their body does for them and that they can do for it
And yes, also the good food their body lets them experience
He also definitely reaches out and gives their hand a lil squeeze if he ever notices them feeling down while they’re out together
He cares for them a lot and just wants them to be happy at the end of the day
Belphegor
Oh yeah, that’s one of the stupidest things about the human world
Belphie remembers being mistaken for a woman a lot when he used to visit the human world, and how confused he was when people got into such a tizzy over his gender
Why waste all that energy on something that doesn’t matter? If you must know, just ask the person and be done with it
It doesn’t matter what they look like
MC is MC
If they say they’re nonbinary, that’s good enough for him
If they don’t want to be touched, especially in certain places tiddy pillow naps, he might get pouty, but he’s all bark and no bite, he’ll respect their wishes
His approach to making MC feel better is more geared towards normalizing their identity
If he accepts it as a fact, then maybe they’ll catch on that people will respect them if they know what’s good for them?
Also, if they hear him mumbling about correct pronouns and punching transphobes in his sleep… No they didn’t. He’s not dreaming about them, he swears...
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dogsplayingpoker · 7 years
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ehromantic
It is unfortunate that my post disappointed you. That said, you can be angry that awful people continue to be awful, and still celebrate the fact that she trounced them so hard on a cultural level they can no longer safely be quite as awful as they used to be. Heck, you can even be happy for nonbinary aspirants to legislature at the same time! Trust me, it's doable ; )
cool i wasnt specifically referring to you, that post is like everywhere, also yeah like...her being the bigger person about a transphobic dude a while ago is a separate entity from people being transphobic? like good for her, i know i can think thats mature of her while also not being ok with transmisogyny, thanks for reminding me??????????????? doesnt really have anything to do with what i was saying
in a greater sense though “trouncing them so hard they can’t be as awful as they used to be” is not what happened and thats like what i was saying. i was expressing disappointment at people thinking representatives doing something transmisogynist is progressive or somehow “transmisogynist but also ironically and accidentally progressive” because it is not. refusing to call a trans woman a woman is not in any way a thing to be happy about. it is not funny and it is not them being so backwards they accidentally did something right. there has been a weirder problem in the lgbt community for quite a while and people, mostly and especially trans women, expressing the issues and transphobia that have come about from the on-its-surface well-intentioned switch to more neutral language. for example, asking people what pronouns they use is nice in theory but irl is usually only asked of people who aren’t ‘‘passing,’‘ defeating the purpose and serving to other them or make people feel uncomfortable or dysphoric. another example would be the whole “women and femmes” thing, and some peoples stalwart campaign to only say like “lgbt” when they mean trans women and are talking about problems specifically faced by trans women or rights that were won for the community specifically by trans women. using neutral language in a ‘progressive’ way that subtlety pushes the most vulnerable part of our community out of the conversation. neutral language in and of itself isnt progressive.
neutral language definitely isnt progressive or good when it is very overtly being used so that transmisogynists can continue to be transmisogynists. they are changing the language for their comfort, not for yours. it is not a good thing. they are changing the language specifically for transmisogynist reasons. In what way are they being less awful than they used to be. thats like my whole point. for danica, this is just a continuation of prejudice against her. if you take some kind of side-effect victory from that like good for you i guess but i dont see a cause for celebration in it, yknow what i mean? they arent saying “we will use more gender neutral language because the hosue of representatives is becoming More Diverse” they are saying “We don’t want to call this trans lady a woman, and so are refusing to.” that is not progress. that is not good. it is not something to be happy about. it is not something that we as lgbt people are gaining from in any way. it is the continuation of people refusing to recognize trans people for who they are. very very plain and simple. they dont want to call her a woman. im trying to be as clear about this as possible because i want you to understand where im coming from here.
as for being “happy for nonbinary aspirants to the legislature”...im like, A Socialist, so i’m generally not into people wanting to be in government honestly but thats complicated. im happy for danica and i am able to see the progress like, within the system as it is now, but im not really excited about the big revolutionary changes that are gonna come from our government just as soon as we got a few more gays in there. its eh. i dont get excited about More Women CEOs either. this is kind of a different point so moving on nonbinary Aspirants would benefit from the option to be referred to by neutral language...only if they prefer to be referred to by neutral language. this i think is kind of the core misunderstanding. progress would be recognizing and respecting the language an individual wants to be referred to by, which is the exact opposite of what we’re discussing. we’re talking about elected officials directly refusing to respect a trans person’s identity, and you’re saying that this is in some way good for non-binary trans people. who like, importantly to note, don’t even all use or want to be called by nuetral names. i am an example of a non binary person who doesnt use like neutral pronouns. it wouldn’t be progressive for someone to forcibly call me by neutral language either, and thats WITHOUT the like years and years and bullshit specifically targetted at trans women that makes this actual issue much worse. she is being misgendered. elected officials are trying to exact like real codified change so that they can get away with misgendering a woman. that is not pros and cons, that is solely a bad thing.
i understand that if you were assuming i was like directly vagueposting about you and trying to talk shit that you would be annoyed, but your reply was smug and entirely missed the poitn i was making, to the point of like showcasing the issue i was taking with the whole thing. a trans woman being misgendered in and by our government isnt a victory for trans people, like in summary. i can’t ‘be happy about the unintentioned benefit at the same time’ because there is no real unintentioned benefit, only a misunderstanding of progress and a willingness to allow trans woman, like always, to be thrown under the bus
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gettin-bi-bi-bi · 7 years
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Hi I just wanted some advice. Bc im friends with this girl, and i found out shes Pan. So I was like cool im Bi. But the issue is, she immediatly rebuked that 'well im Pan cuz they are trans inclusive and Bi is just being in love with two genders, which is not how love work and its excluding'. So i dont know what to say or think...I identify as Birocace/Bisexual but it doesnt mean i cant love people who are trans? I had a gf who was and I loved her. Should I change label or?
Your friend is wrong. It’s as simple as that.
Bisexuality does not mean “attraction to binary cis men and binary cis women”. The definition fo bisexuality that is widely agreed upon within our community is “attraction to more than one gender”. This can include all the genders including non-binary people! Guess what? There even are nb people who identify as bisexual.
But let’s just assume for a moment that bisexuality only means “attraction to two genders” (which again: IT DOESN’T!) then it would also include trans people because binary trans men are real men and binary trans women are real women. So why the fuck would the outdated “bi means two”-definition of bisexuality exclude trans people in the first place? It doesn’t! That’s the answer. Bisexuality does not and never has excluded binary trans people!
Yes, pansexuality was invented to challenge the gender binary and to include non-binary people and that was a justified and valid move - however, that’s exactly why the bisexual community changed the definition of bisexuality to “more than one gender” to include non-binary people. We saw the flaw in the definition of our sexuality and we reacted.
If your friend thinks that her (pan)sexuality is somehow “better” than bisexuality then that’s not just biphobic it also sounds like she has some very fucked up twisted transphobia going on if she thinks that it’s necessary to emphasise how inclusive of trans people she is - that is literally so othering of binary trans people. Ugh!
Maybe show her this list of reasons why people choose one label over the other - or just don’t talk to her anymore because she honestly sounds like an asshole and you don’t need that sorta negativity in your life. You stick to the label(s) you feel comfortable with. Don’t let this uneducated biphobe tell you what you can or can’t do!!!
Maddie
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