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#brb setting fire to their offices
douwatahima · 5 months
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max literally cut their budget nearly in half, forced them (most likely through the lack of budget) to condense the season down to eight episodes, messed around with the plot so much that we know stuff about the polycule had to be cut (and who knows what else) and yet the cast and crew still pulled out a season that was beloved by critics and managed to stay in the top ten most watched shows on the platform for weeks after the season ended
and yet they couldn't give them one more fucking season
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koushuwu · 5 months
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the thing about me, is that i hate apples. not because they taste bad, but because of the sound they make.
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thesugarace · 4 years
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Alright
I finished HLITF season 1 for Kaga and I SWEAR TO ALL 12 ZODIAC GODS
VOLTAGE. PEAKED!!!! AT KAGA’S SEQUEL
THIS STORY IS AN ABSOLUTE 
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(Early warning: minor/major spoilers and a lot of rants/fangirling/thirst etc etc all bec I just absolutely love this story and I feel the need to share this love with everyone. Also, I keep seeing everyone hating on MC in this but I actually really liked her here and so I MUST defend her)
Okay
First of all look. loOK. LOOK AT THESE CGS!!!!
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CAN YOU BELIEVE WE GET A HOT AND SEXY KAGA CG, A LITERALLY STEAMY ROMANTIC CG AND A BOMB AF STORY ALL FOR $3 EYE-
And oh my huedhaut dont even get me started on the story. It was absolutely on point. It has everything a HLITF story promises to have:
justice in the eyes of our straightlaced MC vs the PSD ✔️
Conflict btwn Kaga and MC precisely because of that ✔️
Our girl pulling a vanishing act bec she refused to compromise her values ✔️
the refusal of each side to back down and their love for each other TEARING THEM APART INSIDE ✔️
OUR GIRL SHOWING OFF HOW INSIGHTFUL SHE REALLY IS AND FINDING A SOLID AF LEAD ✔️
MC’S GROWTH in finding a somewhat compromise between her principles and what is required of her as a PSD detective ✔️
And of course, my absolute favourite: ANGSTY ANGSTY MY-WORLD-IS-ENDING-BECAUSE-MY-MC-IS-IN-DANGER-ANGSTY KAGA ✔️
Okay, I need to address the one thing that everyone just hates about this story en masse and it’s MC. Personally, I dont agree with her about the some parts, especially the interrogation because she did hinder an investigation and in law enforcement that is one big No-No but I do see where she’s coming from, especially with the surveillance thing and the whole copping out and literally running away to the countryside. I saw reviews abt her being completely naive but seriously, put yourself in the position of the one being spied. She’s so against it because to the suspect, what they’re doing could be harmful to him, especially so if he was innocent. I think as a person, she believes in the more publically-accepted justice - the kind of justice that everyone wants but is really very difficult to obtain.
And this is where we get to the beauty of this story. As per their MO, the PSD is ready to do whatever it takes to get the culprit even it means breaking the law. They’re desperate to get the culprit because people are actually getting hurt and the longer this guy gives them the slip, the more people are going to get hurt. Even in MSB, its been established that to the PSD, the end ALWAYS justify the means and they dont give a shit if they look like criminals for it. So this is where the conflict arises between MC and the PSD guys. For the PSD, there’s an opportunity where they might get the culprit but its illegal and for MC, what the PSD wants to do is too risky for something only based on suspicion; she wants to stay on the legal path but she has no lead whatsoever and time is not on either side. People dont seem to realise the weight of MC’s viewpoint and have a tendency to think of ‘officers doing something illegal’ as something as light as jaywalking or smt. No, these institutions have a wide reach and one misstep could bring harmful repercussions onto countless innocent people not to mention the implications of their actions on their integrity as an institution of the law and the integrity of the entire justice system. However, the PSD’s side is a lot more true to reality albeit in more complex situations: their duty beyond all else is to prevent crime and there are times when there really seems to be no way. I’ve been working in law for the past few years and this is a classic dilemma that has been simplified but quite well executed in this context. Justice is not as clear cut as the right way, the right end. The law may simply be black words on white paper but different circumstances dye it with their own colours. This is where MC is lacking. She’s like a freshman at law school - someone who truly believes in the importance of justice but actually has little idea what that actually entails. She is not entirely naive but more in a sense that she’s never been confronted with these kind of complex high-stakes situations (she worked in a police box before this for Ichthys’s sake) and that inexperience disables her from seeing and evaluating the entire situation from the PSD’s pov. For her, its like playing poker for the first time and she’s already betting with the million dollar chips.
The second thing I REALLY must defend her in is the whole quitting from the academy. For the love of Zyglavis, she did NOT run away just because Kaga told her she’s not suited for PSD, it was just the trigger. Lemme put it in a different scenario (btw this scenario is not meant to mirror the situation, its only meant to evoke how MC felt in the story) Imagine you live in a city and you and your significant other are living together. A pandemic has struck your city but everyone refuses to wear a mask and the government is even encouraging people not to wear a mask. You know that wearing a mask slows down the spread of the virus and you are trying to convince people to wear one but they just ignore you. The number of cases is dropping and people think its because they dont wear masks unlike other cities but you know that people should still wear masks or the numbers might spike. So you try to convince everyone to wear a mask and people start berating you for being so stupid as to believe that masks will slow down the spread of the virus when the numbers are dropping without the city wearing them. You go home and your significant other berates you for forcing other people to wear a mask and says ‘since you wanna wear a mask so badly, get out of my house and move out of town’ That’s what it felt like for MC: the absolute frustration + sadness from the rejection of what she truly believes in by the people she’s surrounded by. Time and time again in the story, she’s confronted with the fact that the justice she believes in is not the justice PSD serves. For someone who is working towards joining the PSD, that has to be killing her inside every time. It just serves as a reminder that she is not suited for PSD nor is she what PSD wants in a detective, something she has been struggling with since MS1 but she perseveres perhaps because of her dream to become a detective or because of her aspirations to someday be Kaga’s equal or at least be someone he considers he can rely on. I really believe it’s the second one, after all, it was his rejection of her that really broke her inside and finally convinced her to quit. That’s why if you buy the ending set, you’ll see in the extra stories that Kaga gets extremely angry AT HIMSELF that MC quit the academy. He knows that our persistent Kappa doesnt give up so easily, not even when he scolded her for ruining his interrogation. Its because all these factors built up and he was the one to push her over her limit. So yes, our girl is not fragile yall. She’s just been through so much and I honestly dont blame her for leaving like one order of R&R for our MC here, she deserves it thanks. 
Okay, I need to end this soon cause its starting to get too long but what made me really love her here is the whole LIME thing. That part made love her so much because even when she quit on the academy, there’s still a fire inside her to do what it takes to achieve justice, even if it meant relying on the people she didnt agree with. Even when she was so broken inside believing that she’s not one of them, she’s not needed by them, she’s not worthy of helping them; she just wants to help!
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IM SO FREAKING SOFT FOR HER BECAUSE THIS GIRL WHO HAS BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH IS STILL FIGHTING IN HER OWN WAY AND JKASHFHASKJHAKSHKJHGA BRB CRYING
ALSO 
THAT BLOODY PHONE CALL OH MY FREAKING SCORPIO THAT PHONE CALL. I died when he told her that quitting is not an excuse to leave his side. THESE TWO EYE-
Okay, you have to read that phone call scene from both sides because then you’ll see how much these two are being stubborn because they still dont accept the other’s pov abt the case but at the same time how much they love and miss each other is gnawing at them inside AND THEYRE STRUGGLING TO HOLD ALL THOSE EMOTIONS BACK WHEN THEY HEAR EACH OTHERS’ VOICES OVER THE PHONE FREAKING KRIOFF TAKE THE WHEEL PLEASE
Anyways, I really enjoyed reading season 1 for Kaga, especially because of his MC - I see her actually growing from the small police box officer to a PSD cadet and the sequel, especially, shows promise in how she’s going to navigate the world of law enforcement and facing difficult choices. Our girl really decided to return to the academy without finding a proper middle ground between her values and what PSD requires of her but she showed determination to work on it so I really hope we get to see more of that in later seasons. Also, WHIPPED Kaga is my fav but soft Kaga is up there as well. MC SAYING HE SOUNDED SAD OVER THE PHONE AND HER TEARING UP I CANT. THESE TWO ARE BAD FOR MY HEART.
Okay, Im not sure what I’ll be reading next. I kinda wanna start on his season 2 but considering how amazing this season is for Kaga, Im really curious abt the other characters so I might start on them before starting any season 2s. Also, idk if I would make these long argumentative-ish essays a thing but just idk why, my brain is really good at spewing essays out when it comes to HLITF and I think its fuelled by the panic from all my unfinished work so yay 
Thanks for reading!!!
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peydawgz · 5 years
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Give me motivation Can I request Stu Macher with male s/o who wants to go hiking or go camping
Hiking || Stu Macher x Reader
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               The idea all started one night whilst you were laying in bed, unable to sleep. You and Stu had been texting as you lay, head under the covers, the air getting to the point where you couldn’t breathe, but you didn’t like the cold air of your room. As you two exchanged late-night love messages, you let it slip that you’d been having trouble sleeping. Stu sent you a “brb” and within the next ten minutes there was a knock at your window. You sat up, covers falling off of your clothed body, and feet padding across the cold floor over to the window. You were surprised as you saw Stu there, smiling up at you even though rain shrouded the outside world. You quickly opened it up, and let him in. He closed it behind you, and hugged you tightly.
              “I couldn’t sleep either.” He whispered, slowly leading you backwards so that the two of you now laid on your bed, cradling you in his arms, close up to his chest. He hummed, petting your hair lightly and pressing his nose against the crook of your neck, nuzzling it. “I just wanna go somewhere, yknow… Let’s get out of here for a while and do something! I’m sick and tired of this routine. Let’s go on a road trip, or camping or something.” You said in a low voice into his hair. “I feel ya, baby. I couldn’t have said it any better.” He kissed you on your forehead and almost instantly you dozed off into his sweater.
               The next morning you woke up and Stu was gone, leaving you under the covers and a sweet scent on your pillow. You lolled out of bed, and downstairs to get a glass of water and something to eat. You peered at your phone as you made toast, and Stu sent you a text. “Get dressed and be outside at 10, I have a surprise. Bring a coat.” It read, and you darted upstairs to put on clothes with the toast in one of your hands.
               At 10, you were standing on your porch when Stu’s dark blue car pulled up and he opened the door for you. “Come on!” He shouted over the music, and you followed. “We’re gonna go for a hike! I’ve got all the stuff we need, so don’t worry.” He said excitedly, patting your knee. Your heart raced, and you looked up at him and his dumb smile. “Sounds good?” He asked, now throwing his arm over your shoulder. You nodded happily, and the car sped off.
               You parked at a boat dock nearby. Stu had a backpack with snacks and you had one with bug spray, flashlights, and other necessities. Both backpacks were equipped with sleeping bags. You two got out of the car, quickly taking a spray down with bug spray and the two of you were off into the woods. There was a trail so you wouldn’t get lost. Even if you did, Stu assured you that there was service. Holding hands, the two of you walked through the woods on the trail, enjoying the nice weather. It was humid, but a nice cool weather filled the air. Stu pointed out every squirrel and bug that he saw, excitedly clapping when he spotted a deer through the trees. Almost an hour into the hike, he was nearly mauled by a badger.
               You two found a stream after around two hours of walking, and sat down by the bank on a nice grassy spot. You shared some of the beef jerky that he’d brought (or trail mix; if you’re nut free then raisins) and watched as a bunch of tiny little otters cuddled in the cool water and Stu handed one a raisin, which he spit out back at him. One of the bigger otters that was pretty fat carried a dead fish head to Stu and nudged it to his foot, and you two decided to carry on after that.
               Stu held your hand as you walked, humming a little tune and veering you away from ant hills when you’d almost step in them. He’d show you the map he found in his dad’s office and point out where you were. “There’s mountains up here!” He cooed, looking up as if he could see them over the trees. “Yeah, like twenty miles out, babe.” You laughed and kept on walking. Stu really wanted to see some mountains, so you promised him that you’d take him up there on the next hike.
               Eventually it started to get kind of dark, and you were pretty far out, so you’d just go back to the car in the morning. You set out your sleeping bags beside each other, and then the two of you tried your best to make a fire so you could roast some marshmallows. You made smores!! After some cuddling by the fire you dug out a can of diced potatoes from Stu’s bag and some tinfoil. You poured out the juices and then plopped the potatoes in the tinfoil and wrapped them up so that they would fry over the fire. (It’s really good, I do it on the grill a lot) Stu liked it a lot! Good dinner!
 Nighttime wasn’t very lucky for you.
               The two of you were fast asleep when you awoke to hear a loud, scratching sound. The fire was going, but very lightly. “Babe, wake up.” You whispered to Stu, shoving him a bit. He stirred awake with a small, “huh?” And after you explained, he chuckled lightly. “I bet it’s Jason. He’s coming for ya, hun!” He said, giving your sides a little tickle. “No, I’m serious, do you hear it? Shh!” You huffed, and he listened. There the scratching was again. He got up and you clung to his shoulder. He flicked on the flashlight, and looked around. “I don’t see anything…” He muttered, until you pointed out the trees. Huge marks against them, bark rubbed off and a weird black substance on them. “Oh my gosh, it’s a bear. We gotta get out of here-“ You said, already done. The marks were so high up, you were sure it would have been almost 9 feet tall.
               As you and Stu hurried to pack up your stuff and stomp out the fire, Stu froze up. “Babe?” You turned around, only to see a huge moose standing there in front of him, also frozen. You grabbed Stu’s sweater sleeve, and slowly lead him away from it. A few minutes later after you were pretty sure the moose was gone, it ran straight past you and Stu and he let out a loud girly scream, which you laughed at.
               Once you were on the trail back to the car, it started to pour down rain just like the night before. You used your backpacks as shelter as you ran as fast as you could, past the stream and where Stu almost got sprayed. Quickly flinging open the car doors, you both hopped in, freezing cold and sopping wet. Stu started up the car, turning on the heater and you two cuddled in the backseat for warmth, falling asleep.
               The next morning you woke up and you were sitting in the car outside of your house, Stu fast asleep in the driver’s seat. You kissed his cheek, waking him up. “Good morning, hun. I’m sorry the hike kinda sucked.” He admitted, yawning and popping his back. You only kissed his forehead, “It’s okay! I had lots of fun. Let’s do it again some time.” And you hopped out of the car with a promise to hike again next week when maybe it wouldn’t rain so much.
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ac3has6l00d · 5 years
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Shit my band director has said
I have been keeping track of a bunch of the funny shit my Band Director has been saying to us since like, halfway though the school year-last year. Here is what I have so far. If it is in reference to a person, I will put their instrument and if It's a song I'll put the song (if I remember it). He is referred to as Barr (an ironic last name). Also don't clock me for spelling I'm not meant to have my phone out during band and yet here we are.
-Highlighter of a thousand suns
-YESSS, Cole (a french horn player) no, BUT YESSSSS
-Dee dee, I'm part of a drum set
-He dead, but a surprise ending
-Haha, I am the sailor, you fell in love with
-Santas Depressed (Minor Alterations)
-Though the woodwinds I heard the buuuRR
-It's the best of all possible worlds, and then they get invaded (Candid Suit)
-harcan back to the yesterday of your, when we had counting issues
-horns, a little more, yes, I am sure
-let it ring
-no, no *disgusted face* no
-do it again!
-can I hit you with some scary knowledge
-this is good enough, thanks, this is never wrong (talking about Dr. Beat)
-the raseing of the prevorial oooohs
-goodjob Joel (a trumpet player), you rythemmaster you
-i can say this because I am one and I'm raising a girl, but boys are weird
-Alright, Angelic fruity boy (in reference to a trumpet player)
-Horns... the heroes instrument
-i actually didn't hear you at all
-did they take your triangle?
-Right notes are also important
- Teacups? It's a small world? *Ian (a french horn player)- Mt. Everest* You got sasquatch on the brain?
-morse code people
-a shade under the tempo
-woofie woofie woofie all the way around
-That isn't our Forté in the horn section to play lightly (He played french horn)
-can I get a rallintado amen
-tess (flut/piccolo player), Jordan (percussionist) - Jordan tess, Piccolo tambourine, - tambourine Piccolo
- we have plenty loud in this piece, enjoy the soft
-thats when they get invaded (Candid Suit)
-thanks trumpets... yah yeah yeahh
-flute hanger-oner
-Bold, Underlined, and in all caps
-music land
- *impersonates Kristin chenoweth* (Candid Suit)
- coming in from the basement
-were you trying to roast me? i will defend myself
-all a Twitter about arby's or something I dunno
-that was also a bold, all caps email
-unicon has a limp
-where have you been all my tambourine life
-can we agree on right notes then?
-melody melody melody, finnaly finnaly finnaly (trombones getting the melody)
-slip the surely bonds of earth
-ah please, decapitate all the invaders
-good for you... breaking norms
-christmas arrived early for you but not for anybody else
-ill write you an invitation next time
- but shut up
-stare out the window
-you may be alright young man
-seniors is theirs enough of an amen? (Chosing to Play Angel's in the Arcatectur by Frank ticheli)
-if I see that guy in a dark allyway...  I'll play him a recording of Angel's in the arcatectur (To they Guy that gave us a bad score on our MPA)
-whah whah what is like a bad joke on the trombone
-gone fishing be back in a hour 
-im just music roasting you
-i dont like this key HAAAAAAHHHH
-empty that spit
- everyone is still standing, so that's good
- im monolouging, you get that input later
- that's a really anticlimactic chord trumpets
-three f's. And your all thinking rainbows and unicorns
-Joels (a trumpet player) paying attention
- twirling the wherlys (tubes at the beginning and end of AitA)
-i dont mess with my post-its
-dropped mute isn't apart of my score
-i wanna see fire coming from your nostrils... like GOT IT
- it's muddy but we're getting there
-alive and well
-i would expect guys from he middle school band .... that's the only roast I have
-rob (a percussionist), we need to do spinning practice
-the devils intervals
-we can end on an amen
-it's like a great dane with crippling anxiety, its scared of everything. So what do you do, you put it on a treadmill and start popping balloons around it... this is training
-if I cant trust you then give it back to me.
-it's about me not you, me not you.
-for trombones, not toilets
-im going to let the trombones use their new toys (some trombones got plunger mutes (I was not one if them, Bass trombone life, bro))
-like... poof
-the devil in band
- satan himself... in the form of your phone
-welcome to band
-it's kinda hard, if you havent noticed.
-please hold for your next representative
- you are playing the elevator muzak version
-some of you are counting... and some of you play the alto. Sax (actual shade ngl)
-the best bond song from one of the stupidest bond movie (this nerd had us playing James Bond music at the end of the school year)
-jordan, finally, a use for your whistling.
-the first thing ella (his daughter) said to me, was flower
-impeckable german
-im going to save you all from this and mute it
- for those of you unitallans
- they chuck 'em
- bread and butter band keys
-there is no humor in marching band
- the fads you kids are into these days.
- our boiiis
- instrament of mass destruction
-ahoy mates
-is there a pre malone
-the newest version of mac... high Ciara (a chick in my Music Production Class)
-your in your pre stages
-thats a great beat son
-were on a bus my child
-if you don't music speak
-where is the beat, I am trying to adjust accordingly
-Ich Bin confused
- if you use the word angelic I will come back there (One of the Horns said it as a joke)
-it's like the piccolo of the percussion section
-mr. Barr is now in his office
-boys, why and no
-why are you whistling Hawaii 5.0?
- yeah, I need a highhat to subdivide too
-we got new old bessy back there (about the new bass drum frame since the old frame broke during the MB season)
-oh I've used dumpsterfire, I've seen quite a few in my day
-dumpsterfire? (I used it and he picked up on it)
-you went even alive, why am I telling you?
-do I sound hip?
-thats the right answer
-if I don't do that to yours, it doesn't mean you are not a great person
-you found 8th position (I'm pretty sure this was him talking to me about bass trombone stuff)
-i see what I did there
- don't get old, you wake up and then you can't feel your leg.
-the sparks were there but it's not raging yet
-long live the king
-i will brb
-thats annoying
-its quitten time y'all
-Barb Peterson (Our lovely Colour Gaurd instucter) Hotline
- please escort this out, I hate it
- is Seth's (Clarinet and Pit) head one of those two way mirrors?
-that's incredable seth
-should I not make spinal tap references?
-nevermind a reference I will put away for this class.
-i now live in fear of that.
-this is bumpen
-im having some real memory issues.
-death star trench run
-think the towel, be the towel
-dont poke the barr
-my wife watches garbage tv when I'm not there
-the most dramatic little people show
-soundtrack, moving on
-twiggles (there is a teacher with the last name of Twig)
-saf to say
-i like you, but not that much
-im going to give you the confused dog look
-this is not open roast time
-zing
-i love how it creeped into your subconscious
-nooooohhoo
-what a quick roast of me annie (a very, very, very good clarinetist)
-it's like the end of the commercial where they add all the legal stuff.
- the flex tape tape
-am I going to have to sound really aloof and do commercials
-i love how you are all responsive
-let me finish!
-don't juule
-i have my box o' toys (MTP we were recording sounds for a project so he pulled out a bunch of percussion stuff)
- if i squint I can hear the right thing
-I feel like hot garbage
-if only we lived in the information age
-were hitting the gym annie... I don't know what that means
-the gong is in the room
-i blew up the death star
-25% of people who conduct this come down with this crazy illness
-your like the studio aduiance for like QVC, "what do you do?" "SCRATCH IT OUT!"
-i dont understand your generation
-youve poisoned me. I hope you are happy
-weight not wait
-oh wow
-shut up
-you just lead your sled into a ditch (Midnight sleighride)
-i love his vocal signature, like "I did this song and I'm jason derulo"
-the power of pan
-wait, what's tic-toc
-shut it
-its like a hippo with Ballarina shoes on
-it's thick with a whole bunch of K
-im trying to throw him a gong bone
-Trombasusaphoneabone
Yeah I have no clue if he knows he is saying that stuff
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roleplaylogs · 5 years
Text
Mythea
A hot little Mythea texting log!
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You both like Mythea.
Stranger: You're staring very intently today, Mr Holmes. A
You: Am I? My apologies. I didn't mean to. M
Stranger: What's on your mind? A
You: Everything. The weight of the world. M
Stranger: What's happened? A
You: Moriarty exhausts me constantly. Trying to keep my brother safe. M
Stranger: You know it's not your responsibility to take care of everything. Sherlock is grown man. A
You: Who cannot take care of himself. M
Stranger: And he will never learn if you do it for him. A
You: No, he'll die. M
Stranger: You need a break. A
You: You know I can't. M
Stranger: One night. Yes, you can. A
You: And waste a whole night? M
Stranger: Oh yes. A
You: And do what, my dear? M
Stranger: How about a massage and a glass of wine? A
You: Now that, is incredibly tempting. M
Stranger: Good. Let someone take care of you for once. A
You: [long delay] Alright. M
Stranger: Tonight then. Your night off. A
You: Alright, I'll agree to it. My house? M
Stranger: Your house. We'll go straight there. 5pm. A
You: Yes, ma'am. As you wish. M
Stranger: You must be tired. Doing as you're told. A
You: Exhausted. I don't know how many knots you'll find in my shoulders. M
Stranger: I'll let you know. A
You: I know you will, vocally. M
Stranger: Would you rather I didn't? A
You: No, I like it, a lot. M
Stranger: My being vocal? A
You: Yes. You have a good sense of humour, and you aren't afraid to tell me like it is. I believe is the expression. M
Stranger: Well, if I'm being truly honest, I hate that tie. A
You: Oh no, really? M
Stranger: That colour doesn't suit you. A
You: Then what does? M
Stranger: Deep reds. A
Stranger: And dark blues. A
You: I'll remember that. M
Stranger: Good. A
You: You look good in everything. M
Stranger: You haven't seen me in pale pink. It's awful. A
You: Oh god, yes. Pale pink would be horrendous. Totally the wrong colour for your skintone. M
Stranger: The colour of your shirt would look nice on me. A
You: It would. You should wear it. M Unbuttoned. M
Stranger: Flirting again, Mr Holmes? A
You: Guilty as charged. M
Stranger: So unprofessional... But I do like that shirt. A
You: Well, if you're coming straight home with me after work, I don't want you to be uncomfortable in that tight skirt all evening. M
Stranger: That is a very good point, Mr Holmes. I probably should take it off if we are both to be comfortable. A
You: Exactly. You can borrow my shirt to save some of your modesty. M
Stranger: Just some. A The zip is a little hard to reach, you might have to help me. A
You: I will always help you, my dear. M Whatever you need. M
Stranger: You're far too busy for little old me. A
You: Never, Anthea. M
Stranger: Yes, you are. A
You: Don't be silly. You're the only one who looks out for me. M
You: I'll do the same. M
Stranger: Mycroft, if you weren't too busy for me, you would have asked me to dinner five years ago. A Of course. I will always look out for you. A
You: It wasn't that I was too busy. M You are just way out of my league. M
Stranger: Don't be ridiculous. A
You: You are. That's why I never asked you out. M
Stranger: And you're too busy. A
You: Not tonight. M
Stranger: Only because you're too exhausted to argue. A
You: That may be true. M
Stranger: Exactly. A
You: Hush now. M
You: [brb!]
Stranger: You know I'm right. A
You: Just this once, my dear. M I have a fine bottle of Cabernet I've been saving for an occasion. M
Stranger: And a night off is an occasion for you? Sounds perfect. A
You: Of course it is. I'll set the fire burning, put on an old record. M
Stranger: Anything that will relax you. A
You: And what would relax you? M
Stranger: It's not about me. A
You: It can be both of us. M
Stranger: I'm fine. I get regular massages. A
You: If you need anything else, do tell me. I know other things relax other people. M
Stranger: What other things? A
You: Oh, I don't know. Food, orgasms, watching films. M
Stranger: Orgasms? A
You: Hm? Did I say that? M
Stranger: You did. A
You: Interesting. M
Stranger: Very interesting indeed. A
You: You can forget I mentioned it. M
Stranger: I don't want to. A
You: Good. M
Stranger: Is that something you have thought about often? A
You: Yes. My mind wanders often in meetings. M
Stranger: Oh? Do tell. A
You: How lovely you would look up from between your thighs. M
Stranger: Oh, my. A
You: I can be quite obscene. N
You: *M
Stranger: I like it. A
You: Well then. I'm sure I'll be able to relax you this evening with my skills. M
Stranger: With your tongue? A
You: Yes, my dear. It's a pastime I enjoy. M
Stranger: What else do you enjoy? A
You: Pleasuring a woman any way I can. M
Stranger: How selfless of you. A
You: It's the one area of my life I am. M
Stranger: Have you passed a lot of time pleasuring many women, Mr Holmes? A
You: When I was younger, yes. M In my days as a field agent, I was quite the rogue. M
Stranger: That's hot. A
You: I used to be very attractive. M
Stranger: You still are. A
You: Questionable. M
Stranger: You've managed to turn me on in this meeting just by staring. A
Stranger: You're delectable. A
You: Have I really? Oh, now I feel rather smug. M
Stranger: I can tell. A
You: How aroused are you? M
Stranger: I might have to remove my knickers. A
You: What a good idea. M Go and do so now, and slip them into my suit jacket pocket on your way back in, pretend like you're giving me a message. M
Stranger: As you wish, sir. A
You: Good girl. M
Stranger: Anthea cursed a little under her breath before she did as she was told, exiting the board room and returning a few moments later. She moved to Mycroft's side and bent down, glad she too was wearing a jacket. She allowed her breasts to brush against his arm as she slipped her knickers into his jacket pocket. "The gift you requested, Mr Holmes..." She breathed before going back to her seat opposite him innocently. What do you plan on doing with them? A
You: Mycroft gave no indication of anything having changed, just nodding once when she whispered to him. He was glad for his poker face, so nothing looked amiss between them. That would be telling, my dear. I did just put my hand briefly in my pocket and, my my Anthea. M
Stranger: Don't my, my me, Mr Holmes. That's all your doing. A
You: Perhaps. Are you more comfortable now? M
Stranger: No. I'm still wet. A
You: Are your thighs slick? M
Stranger: Yes. A
You: Good. I'd get used to it, you're waiting until tonight. M
Stranger: What?! A
You: Tonight, dear. M
Stranger: That's cruel. A
You: You may have to try and convince me to soil my office. M
Stranger: Well, I'm sure your desk is much comfier to sit on with my legs spread than this chair. A
You: I bet it would. M
Stranger: Then I think I shall work from your desk this afternoon. A
You: Clear my schedule. M
Stranger: (Slight delay) Done. A
You: Wonderful. M
Stranger: I do hope no one drops their pen under this table. A
You: Won't that be a nice surprise. M
Stranger: Perhaps they'd want you to sack me. A But you're just going to fuck me. A
You: I am. Hard, over my desk. M
Stranger: As soon as this meeting is over. A
You: If I wanted to, I could take you in front of them. M
Stranger: You wouldn't. A
You: I could. M
Stranger: They couldn't do a thing, could they? A
You: No. They'd just have to watch, and enjoy the show. M
Stranger: You'd let these men see me like that? A
You: Just so they'd know they couldn't touch. M
Stranger: And why's that? A
You: Because you are mine. M
Stranger: All yours. A
You: Good girl. M
Stranger: How long is this fucking meeting? A
You: Impatient? M
Stranger: Yes. A
You have disconnected.
2 notes · View notes
thecrotchhand · 6 years
Text
health class >:(
-ug
-did somebody say rick of suicide
-”ooh, there’s a laser!” -student teacher
-good ways to manage stress- “punching a hole through the wall”
-”do you have a long-term goal?” “dying”
-”we should deport justin bieber back to canada”
-”if you say you're gonna do something, then do it" "i'm gonna kill myself ;))"
-"i'm busy singing Africa by Toto" *off-key singing continues*
-"when you lose weight, where does it go?" "it goes to weight heaven"
-the guy next to me started playing Africa quietly from his phone
-"i'm talking to bowl cut. just kidding chris. i love you." "...i'm getting a haircut."
-"you don't lift to get swole" -st
-"that sounds not good for you" "i'm gonna try it"
-"during pregnancy, the women in here are gonna need more folate, iron, and calcium" "no, i'm gonna need a coathanger"
-"liar liar pants for hire"
-"is eustress good stress or bad stress?" (long silence) "it's good stress! yay!" -st
-good ways to relax- "11 hours straight of anime"
-"everything's gonna be ok" lmao good joke
-"precipitation... wait i mean perspiration. it still counts, it's raining from your body."
-ways to manage depression- "kill yourself :D"
-help the teacher (flynn) has been yelling at us for the past five minutes
-uh oh she said damn it's gettin' wild
-she went back into her office after and all of a sudden we hear a quiet "oh, happy Wednesday"
-"is it possible to have an abortion 700 weeks late?"
-"what's the r-word we talked about?" "rawr XD"
-"what does autonomy mean?" "it's like grey's anatomy but for cars"
-alcoholism is a good sims trait
-guy: sneezes
guy's friend: "god bless... america"
-”what do you say to your sibling during an argument?” "you should've been aborted" “no”
- "your personality might be kind of boring" "like a potato!" "yeah"
-"what does down to earth mean?" "it means you're like the lorax, you speak for the trees"
-"he was happy?" "yeah! put him working with me and larson for ten years and... we fixed him!"
-the student teacher generally has a habit of sarcastic yaying and it entertains me
-"jason (chris) move your head" "just throw a rock at it, it'll move"
-someone was trying to come up with weird phobias and someone suggested genital herpes
-"sir you've been diagnose with hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia " "aahHH"
-"if someone comes up to you and says a mean word, you're gonna be upset" "hey sam" "what" "fuck"
-"i found a big circle"
-"*cough* flynn"
flynn, out of nowhere: "i heard that"
-"have you guys seen cabin in the woods?" "wait, the one with the cabin in the woods?"
-:(
-"let's say you don't have a gun" "pft, not in america"
-we were talking about miscarriage and cody goes "fetus... deletus"
-examples of anger- "when mcdonald's doesn't have ice cream"
-video from the 80's: "depression isn't talked about"
-a seal saved this guy's life and he just: 'ah yes it was all because of god' ¿¿¿???
-80's commercials are the weirdest shit
-yepperdoodles
-"...gonna get addicted to xanax"
-"you guys all did a really good job on your tests" "i got a C" "i got a D+" "yeah there wasn't a single person i was not happy with"
-"you say you see really good scores, but what i'm seeing is a D"
-examples of compromise- "i got a D+, but i feel i deserved an A, so let's meet in the middle with a C" "but what do i get out of it?" "if he passes the class, you don't have to see him anymore"
-"oh no my one feeling"
-"what are some ways to resolve conflict?" "killing yourself"
-"put away the candy this is health class"
-(talking about conflict) "...then the fire nation attacked"
-(softly) "yo what the heck dawg"
-"if they started a rumor-" "kill them"
-"when i was-" "a young boy"
-"you got two more weeks with the student teacher, then you get me back" *high pitched screaming*
-"they never broke out, and then one of them broke out"
-"wrestling uniforms are skimpy"
-(across the room) "hey man, can i touch your butt?" "i don't mind, dude"
-"let's say my wife is going to leave me and i'm... celebrating! oh wait"
-"they're fat and skinny, they're white, black, pink, purple, and orange-" "trump"
-"listen, idiotface"
-"do you think... the government is hiding the cure for cancer...?"
-i love government conspiracy theories during health
-"i... declare... bAnkrUptCY"
-"are we watching a movie?" "maybe if we're lucky it's the ring and it'll kill us"
-lmao i don't need drugs to feel numb
-"aww, flynn, we know you're drinkin' a bottle in the back room" "yeah, just look at ya, why wouldn't i?"
-The Weed™
-"weed stops your sperm from being produced correctly" "perfect, it's birth control too"
-"weed might shrink your... parts" "i think i'll just stick to meth"
-"weed might give you a special needs child" "it's wilson 2.0!"
-"i'm gonna be a drug dealer but not a mean one like a nice, happy 'eyy, wanna buy some drugs? :3'"
-oh no, grandma's growing weed in the basement
-"ahh, the weed's on fire"
-"guess that's how they caught the drug dealers. the deer were high"
-teacher: "ooh, i just sounded like yoda: don't smoke The Weed™"
-"hey, where can you buy a still? asking for a cousin"
-"raise your hand if you want to watch hentai"
-this guy keeps responding to people with "yes, my child?"
-"they put aborted fetuses in vaccines" "oh honey no"
-"how do you keep yourself from getting sick?" "stop breathing"
-examples of painkillers- "cocaine"
-"i know elvis presley is still alive because the king never dies"
-biggest drinker in our grade: "am i gonna be an alcoholic?" class: "you already are"
-c o m p r o m i s i n g  p o s i t i o n
-"trick question, i am hentai"
-"what would you do... if i said i could put you in your own hentai"
-"you're gettin' a hole in your nose oh my goodness"
-"depression" "nope" "wait... depression"
-"I can't remember the happiness i felt before drugs" "i can't remember feeling happiness at all"
-"oh you're back! just in time for meth"
-"oh my garage"
-"lotta meth in that town" "nah just incest"
-"it kills your brain cells. which some of you can't afford (staring directly at the class alcoholic)"
-"why do dentists have the highest suicide rate?? probably because everyone hates the dentist, i dunno"
-"that's accusations" "uuuuuhh no" "oh"
-"oh my gads. you got some meth?"
-"in the puss!" "terms" "sorry. vag!"
-"there's a pretty good chance that drug came out of someone's anal cavity" "that's why i don't do heroin"
-"hey, whose buttocks did this come out of?"
"i'm gonna go shoot myself with some dog food, brb"
-"oh my chicken pie"
-"i've been told we're gonna draw a penis"
-help they're genuinely discussing giving babies steroids
-"most of the female reproductive cells are useless" "just like my brain cells"
-the teacher keeps referring to developing babies as "little rat" and "alien creature"
-"if you eat my period snacks, i will eat you"
-*chiming* "is that santa??"
-"what's the only fluid that doesn't go to the baby?" "water" "no" "air" "no" "earth" "..." "fire"
-"you're supposed to snort those calcium pills" "don't snort the calcium pills"
-"mr. o'reilly, when'd you miss your period?"
-"is it true you puke the day after you get pregnant?" "no, if you puke the day after, it's from the alcohol the night before"
-fetus = jumbo shrimp
- i too, am a very sad lookin' heart
-"no, you cannot throw up your baby"
-"now that we've taken the baby home, we need to figure out what to do with it" "flush it down the toilet"
-"if you wear a hat all the time, all your hair is gonna fall out and die" "ha ha kevin, you're gonna die"
-"since i was 14. and i'm 112"
-"big dumb"
-"what do you want to be when you grow up?" "dead"
-"my parents say: 'hey... whatcha doin' with that 24-pack?'"
-"did jeffery dahmer's mom love him?" "hope not"
-"ohh i love the smell of babies *sniff sniff*"
-"they can be found in places that are... places"
-"why are there rotting apples under here?" "no you gotta let those ferment"
-"what's something you lose by age 3?" "hope"
-the guy in front of me had marvel porn on his phone????????????? hentai hulk's bright red ass is permanently ingrained in my mind
-"what am i supposed to do to live 2 more years? wrap myself in bubble wrap and eat brussel sprouts?"
-"for every 10 pounds overweight you are, subtract 1." "-50"
-"you're wearing a flamingo shirt, you're no one's favorite"
-"you don't snort viagra"
-"how do you feel about having guns in our home?" "how do you feel about how quickly i'd use it to kill myself?"
-"hey, 2 seniors walking down the hallway! wanna give her your papers?" "outta my way. hey! get back here and gimme your papers, ya bums."
-"it's not just the genitals that transfer STDs" "left calf"
-"what if they got an STD some other way?" "drinking sprite"
-"...serial monogamy-" "cereal is for mornings"
-"...trading sex for-" "chicken nugget"
-"you wanna try sex wearing a hazmat suit, go ahead" "don't kinkshame me"
-"STI: spaghetti time infection. it's an epidemic"
-"g- ross"
-"AIDS didn't come from sex with a monkey" "it's definitely about sex with monkeys"
-"what kinds of drugs do i need if i have AIDS?" "nothing, you wanna die"
-"do you know what they do to get rid of genital warts?" "chop your dick off" "mix wart cream with water and drink it"
-oh no they found out what they do get rid of genital warts
-"they shove a q-tip in your penis" "iiiiii'd rather die"
-"is that what tinder is? swipe right if you want crabs?"
-"i would suggest not setting your genitals on fire"
- "your penis doesn't do tricks"
-"do you have a driver's license? *nod* "do you have a car?" *nod* "are you a big boy?" *unsure nod*
-"i know it's only the last day but i will make you suffer for every last minute" "then i'll just do what i always do *sleeps*"
-our resident alcoholic was washing the board and people were jokingly flirting with him so he tied his shirt into a bikini and continued washing so the teacher docked him points for it. don't worry he was already failing
22 notes · View notes
canaryatlaw · 4 years
Text
heyyy, well today wasn’t as bad as yesterday at least so that’s something I guess? same deal, up at 8:45 for court, of course my laptop has decided it won’t play sound right on this specific zoom call when it worked perfectly fine on Zoom for our staff meeting yesterday and our whole small group session tonight....ugh, but I just pulled out my phone and did it from there. I had to dismiss two cases but they were in different courtrooms, so I hop on the one that has the dude gonna come first and tell them, they’re generally pretty good with it given that we’re pretty much the only lawyers they see consistently so I guess they like us or me at least haha they’ve always been chill. so it takes a bit but we get in there and do the thing, no big deal. I hop over to the other one and now I have to wait in the queue for a while because I’d only logged into that room at like 9:30. so it took a little while but I got in, this was the weirdest fucking case and the order like, didn’t actually solve the situation and it was solved by a different thing like two days ago, and the order’s about to get set for a full two years and instead the case gets dismissed lol. but that was done, I was a bit tired so I was able to nap for like an hour, but was only asleep for like half of it haha but then I had to be on alert for my instacart delivery and like shortly beforehand I get a super panicked phone call from a client and the service was shitty and I couldn’t even hear her name like 3 times. and basically it’s this whole clusterfuck where the goddamn clerks, once again, fucked up and had put in the system that my client’s case had been dismissed when she’d been granted a 2 year order, and when she’s trying to get a police report they told her her order was dismissed because she didn’t come to court (which she did) and she had to file a motion to reinstate now and it was this whole thing so I was basically brb I’m gonna talk to my boss to figure out wtf we’re doing, so then I tried to reach my boss somewhat fervently and I did hear back from her but she was like can we talk in ten minutes so I said sure. I knew one of the answers might be filing the motion to reinstate, and I had just filed one a few weeks ago so I just pulled up the draft and started typing furiously, channeling all my rage into the motion with just polite enough words telling the court just how much they fucked up, and because I’m fucking good by the time my boss called me back I had the motion finished haha. but basically we’re going to see if they can fix it without us making motions, but we might end up having to do that anyway, which also sucks because I have two other clients who are in the same situation (they’re not aware at the moment and I think as long as they can live safely without knowing making them panic is not a good idea) so that’s gonna be a lot. so that was a whole big thing haha so we’ll have to see how it goes, we do still have the pending lawsuit against the clerk’s office about the orders (which is how this all started) so depending on how this goes we might be bringing this stuff as evidence for the case and MAN, there is pretty much nothing I would love to do more than that haha that is my jam. so we’ll see, but  I just hope they fix it, one way or another. but yeah, all of that happened and the groceries had been delivered and I said it was fine to just leave them at the door and I could grab them in a bit, so I go down like 20 minutes later (stairs are ok today, I fucking hate all of this) and of course they’re not at the side door where they’re supposed to be so I had to like, leave the door slightly open and run to the front of the building which I can’t access from my apartment so I have to go outside and walk around to it. but I got them, a guy was coming out as I was walking back and I was like oh please leave the door open! and he was like oh yeah it’s open, I didn’t know who needed to do, what so I appreciated that. worked for a bit more before our case acceptance meeting at 3, wasn’t terribly exciting and the rest of the day followed that but there was still a lot to do and we had small group at 6 so I can’t take too long, I managed to get away at like 5:45 and just had time to get everything together. we were doing fish tacos using tilapia but they said we can sub whatever other protein we wanted and I don’t really like straight fish, my mom cooked it a lot when I was younger and I very much did not like it then, so it was basically just reinforced, so I grabbed a bag of frozen shrimp with my instacart grocery run. it’s nice, they kind of put together the overall thing and then I pick what I do and what I do not want to do out of it and it worked very well! The shrimp were raw since pre-cooked ones wouldn’t be much fun, and they were shell-on but you couldn’t like pull it off when it was frozen, it had to be cooked to take it off, which I’m sure probably makes it more delicious and everything, so I just peeled those off before eating, and they were all very good. we all just talked on zoom afterwards for a while, a lot of laughing and casual talk, my skills as a lawyer were involved for a good amount of the conversation as people were talking about their various issues and I’m just like hey do you want to sue them we can sue if you want and you should, and on from there haha it’s just a skill you pick up in law school kind of just as a side effect of everything, you can always tell when there could be a potential lawsuit in the situation, which is always fun. but yeah, we logged off eventually and then I turned on the debate with the new york times live commentary up in my browser and watching the commentary for some of the time but also just watched the tv while I was on other sites. this things are so goddamn dumb. like I thought we talked about muting mics, it’s not hard if you say they have two minutes after two minutes MUTE THEIR FUCKING MICS it really does not take a genius to figure this out, and watching it was all such a hot mess and I can’t wait to be done with this election (though I’m counting on a Biden victory for that because if he gets 4 more we will never leave this hell). so when it ended I put on Chicago Fire and watched that for a bit, then turned over to Jimmy Kimmel at like 11:10 and watched him and the opening monologue from Seth Meyers before calling it a night, showering and getting ready for bed, now I’m here and it’s past 2 am because of course it fucking is! ugh. so yeah, Imma go to sleep like, now. Goodnight friends. Happy Friday.
0 notes
swearronchanel · 7 years
Text
IT’S BEEN A WHILE
I haven’t actually watched Call the Midwife in so long ahh! The end of the semester has been kicking my ass but good news, this is my last week of class & I only have 2 finals next week! So I’ll be able to relax a bit and go back to being ctm trash™ later next week + I also convinced my mom to buy the books so I can read those when I get home too. Anyways, I have a break in between my second and last class & instead of being productive/working on all the assignments I have due this week I’m going to watch 4.06 (I closed my eyes and picked from the episode guide lol) because it’s been far too long! 😭👏🏼📺 ✨ here goes nothing, I’m officially back to annoying you all with my commentaries™ 💁🏼
Sister Mary Cynthia! 💔💛 miss her
“The religious life isn’t one I could’ve chosen”  LOL me neither,  I’m too much of a degenerate
Sister J tucking in Sister Mc’s hair, bless
“..Poisons my brain and contaminates my dreams” poor sister MJ! She’s ill😭 what does she have a uti or something?
PHYLLIS!!
Omg sister Evangelina is coming back, my heart 💔💔 I’m still sad about it
lol Phyllis telling Tim he’s shooting up, what a Phyllis thing to say
Growing pains, lol shut up Tim
“Pass me the Rolodex” You know Phyllis is about to get shit done
Paulette sitting in her dressing gown lol, she’s a little angsty & bitchy I love it
Since you know that’s more accurate representation of a teenager than Tim is😭😂 or at least me
Peter out here policing, guess we’ll see some irrelevant constables next series if needed since he’s out, lol bye 💁🏼
Ah yes the square dance!
“Hello pats!” They’re precious
SISTER E😭💔💖
Aw Shelagh! She was so excited to see sister E
Also she just looks angelic as always
I MISS THE SISTER E & PHYLLIS INTERACTIONS !! They were both so head strong & they clashed sometimes but I loved it.
Now I’m sad..
Sister Winifred with the best cringey faces as always
Look at the gremlins playing with Phyllis’s hubcaps 😂
Fred with the cdc squad 😂
Violet and Fred’s relationship is so pure !! But they’re not *really* together yet right? Whateves I love it
Aw baby Angela
“Hello Nurse” 😘😍😉  same Patrick
We all know Patrick quickly discovered a kink for a uniform he never knew he had 😏
Don’t we all though😂 Some uniforms just make people look more attractive😏😂😂
“We have half a dozen ulcer patients..” ULCERS COCKBLOCKING THE TURNERS SINCE 1960!!
Bet Shelagh didn’t remember dismissing that comment in the tent though
Trixie & Sister MC going out to patients together >>
Attracta is such a COOL NAME
Like it sounds fierce 😂 like Tiberius. Or Severus Snape
BUT ALSO I GET ANNOYED LOOKING AT HER BECAUSE SHE PISSED ME OFF AS VERA IN DOWNTON !!  
Anyways..
The grandmother is so cute omg 😭
Trixie and Patsy smoking in their pyjamas is my aesthetic
Still want all of Trixie’s pyjamas & whole wardrobe!
Aw the nurses laughing at phyllis😂😭 mean af
Omg she hears them! my heart😭💔
BUT DONT WORRY BECAUSE EVERYONE LOVES PHYLLIS AND TAKES HER ADVICE SOON ENOUGH
#DontFuckWithPhyllisAndHerAdoptedNurseChildren
“I go off my food when I’m upset and you keep upsetting me!
Ugh the worst is when you’re just dry heaving and spitting up bile😖 **I’ve never had morning sickness/been pregnant so I don’t really know but it’s prob just as bad or prob worse than drinking too much liquor 😂
Shelagh in her uniform holding Angela 😭😍 they’re both adorable
Are shoelaceless to Fred & Violet what cigarettes were to Dr Turner & Sister Bernadette? 🤔
So Fred and Patrick were both in WWII, why is the only conversation we’ve seen between them about it was on the shorts? 😂😂
SISTER E’S FACE EXUDING SALTINESS WHEN DR TURNER ASKED FOR PHYLLIS ON THE PHONE😂😂    
lol why do I think “in the family way” is a funny phrase?
Damn she’s pregnant though, like she really needs birth control so she doesn’t die
Her mum really called her a slut like *kelly from the office voice* number one how dare you?? & number two that was a bitch move
What’s borstal? Is it like Juvi ?
“You might benefit from a cigarette” same probably, the stress is real
I felt smart knowing it would be dangerous for Paulette since she’s diabetic (also: i learned it young watching steel magnolias😂 I hate that I cried in that movie)
This cute grandma aw 😭😭💖 she’s dying
Same though, I feel like every Hispanic girl gets gold earrings when they’re like babies. But for no real significance 😂 had my ears pierced since I was 6 weeks old and been wearing gold earrings foreves
11th pregnancy diablo, I’d die
Phyllis addressing herself as a spinster bc she’s so badass and gives 0 fucks – I love her
He brought back the hubcaps 👏🏼
Phyllis is legit a gem, she doesn’t judge & she actually cares
“When somebody thinks the worst of a person because of their background, such a lot can be lost”
PREECH PHYLLIS 🙌🏻🙏🏼 SO MUCH TRUTH
“It didn’t stop me from making something out of myself” I LOVE HER SO MUCH 💖
Fred asking out Violet, so pure. They are so cute😂😭
        Oh shit brb I have class in 5mins😂 gotta blast                   *Please pardon the interruption*
        Ok I’m back
Paulette’s pink suit is cute af tbh💁🏼
“I’m not your mother kid, if I were, I would do some things differently..” PHYLLIS ADOPT ME PLS
aww my bby shelagh is tired 😭💔
Remember this nightgown though? Yea neither did I😂 why is it so long? Whateves, glad she upgraded to the bri-nylon😏
“No one is invincible” “No, they aren’t” 😭👏🏼🙏🏼 they both know that ahh😔
Aww the nun squad pulling through to help Shelagh out
“I think my eyes will not permit it, indisposition has dimmed them” LMAO SISTER MJ IS LITERALLY ME WITH MY FINAL ASSIGNMENTS
“Thank goodness I am used to the vow of obedience.. I still have hard days with it even now..”
“You Mark my words, the joy of midwifery never dims”
Omg there’s something in my eye or I’m freaking crying I miss sister Evangelina!! remembering she died after tending to one last baby ugh my heart it was great but also not bc hello she died💔💔
I JUST REMEMBERED PEGINE DIES, I’M GOING TO BE MORE SAD
“..until I give my permission!” YES SISTER MC YOU YELL AT EVERYONE!!
So you’re gonna tell me no one saw Paulette leave the maternity home or that no one snitched on her?
After giving birth 11 times wouldn’t they just slip out by now😭😂 yikes I can’t imagine that pain 11x.. or imagine having 11 kids😂
This old woman is so precious
this montage >>
Shelagh singing in chapel with the nuns makes me so happy😭💖
Also where did this dress go cause I don’t remember ever seeing it again?
Is it a British thing or just a thing of the past that little boys always wore shorts?? Like it gets cold! 😂
PEGINE is dead 😭
Did Paulette not think about this before hand?? Like you know you’re diabetic and need to keep your blood sugar up??
My bby Trixie looking good™ even in that big skirt😍 haven’t seen much of her this episode 😔
“I brought bourbon, sort of an American Scotch”  Delia is my kind of gal pulling up with a bottle😂
But I don’t drink bourbon like um I’m not a middle aged business man who cheats on his wife 😂
“Do call me Phyllis.. just for this evening!” 😂 I love her. But seriously look how far she’s come! They were laughing at her and strictly on last name basis, now she’s been hanging out with the nurses and was Babs’s bridesmaid😭💛
Why didn’t Vaughn just bring Paulette with him back to town?
Vi defending Fred from the Cubs is cute 😂
Square dance lit, why is it the funniest but greatest thing to me though??
My other bby SHELAGH LOOKS SO GOOD TOO!😍 we were cheated of a closer shot
I approve of the dress! It looks like gingham but I’m not sure, maybe houndstooth??. Either way - Where is it!? Bring it back out in summer!
“I want to dance with you” aw deels
They’re setting the cart on fire 😭 rip pegine😭
Vaughn used his one call in jail on Phyllis, like same
SHE’S SO GREAT
So does she have the abortion or not? I’m confused.
Okay I think she does never mind
They gave Sister MC the tea cup😭💔 my heart
aw Shelagh putting on Tim’s hat and sending him off to school, so pure
“We are shaped by the hands we hold in ours and cherish and gently let go”
Ah Vanessa always ending the episodes right with the feels😭😭
I’ll forever love the narration/writing of the show 👏🏼👏🏼💛💛 literally the best.
The end 😭💔 wow I’ve missed this
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michaeljtraylor · 6 years
Text
Michael Is *Such* A Millennial Antichrist And 7 Other Thoughts We Had During Episode 8 Of AHS: Apocalypse
Happy Halloween, Witches. This week’s highly anticipated actually-falls-on-Halloween Halloween episode delivered more antichrist backstory with a campy, kind of kooky hour of television.
The episode kicks off with Michael Langdon having a real Monday kind of day.
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He finds Mead’s charred body and howls with rage and grief, then whirls to see Cordelia behind him.
“It’s over, we know who you are. Your allies are all dead. You’ve failed.”
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Cordelia also lets slip that she’s hexed Mead’s soul so that Michael can’t find it and bring her back. For some strange reason, none of this endears her or her coven to Michael—so when she suggests he give up the whole Antichrist thing and join her on the side of the light, he tells her to piss right off. In a very Wicked Witch of the West-esque style he promises to kill her, and all her little friends too.
Michael is peak millennial antichrist.
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Michael decides to pout inside a pentagram circle in the woods for days, refusing to eat or move until his Dad delivers some guidance. But he doesn’t, or maybe he does? Honestly, I’m not sure. Michael experiences hallucinatory visits from a little boy with a grape Fanta, an angel wearing a diaper, and a creepy goat, before eventually giving up on his teenage temper tantrum.
Oh, what, you’re a white, cis man and you can’t navigate the world made for you? Walk into the river, you’re useless.
“I’ve seen bad facelifts that are more evil than you!”
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Having decided that the forest thing isn’t working out, Michael finds himself at the nearest satanic church, where preacher Sandra Bernhard is extremely unimpressed by her congregation of underachieving sinners.
Brb, making a t-shirt that says: I sold my soul to the devil and all I got was a La-Z-Boy, cable tv, and my back blown out by Ryan Reynolds on Fridays.
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No judgment to this girl. I would kill for this life.
Michael when they made fun of his name
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We love a kween who’s not afraid to show his emotions despite masculinity’s prison.
American Horror Story: Silicon Valley Tech Bros
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Michael arrives for a meeting with some maladapted Patrick Bateman types and promptly proves his bona fides by setting the office prostitute (yes, they have one) on fire with his mind. These guys have already sold their souls to the devil, and are happy to help his spawn—building Robo Mead—finally giving us the backstory we’ve been waiting for forever since we discovered she wasn’t human.
The spookiest part of the episode was Evan Peter’s new character’s hair
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Ms. Venable is the feminist icon we need rn.
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She’s basically a modern version of Charlotte Pickles from Rugrats.
Thoughts & Predictions
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Okay, I’ll be honest, this wasn’t my favorite episode. I might be a broken record at this point, but the witches make this show infinitely more exciting to watch. They were what we were all complaining about on Twitter about at the start of the season—anticipating the coven’s long-awaited return to AHS—making their absence this week all the more jarring.
You guys, there are only two episodes left this season! Are we ever going to jump back-forward to the post-apocalypse timeline? Were the whole first 3 episodes just a vision that Cordelia had that never comes to fruition, because they manage to stop it in time? Can the last two hours of this season just be dedicated to Coco and Queenie hanging out at the academy, practicing the mystical arts of bitchcraft and wigatry??? So many unanswered questions!
More and more I am hoping that the rumors online about this season being a jumping off point to more ongoing storytelling, and less anthology style are true. So many great characters have already been set up these past eight seasons, I would much rather see Sarah Paulson and co. get the chance to settle into these various roles, and really live in them for a while.
Okay, if the apocalypse happens, and it’s not just a vision of what could be, I have an idea about how it’s fixed: it’s been established already that our good sister Mallory has abilities far more advanced than simple “Vitalum Vitalis,” or “Resurgence”. Myrtle described what she could do as turning back what time has done, when she reverses the death of a deer, restoring their health and vitality to when they were much younger. She does this again in front of Queenie and Zoe, when she telekinetically (???) slices open Coco’s throat to retrieve some food she choked on, and then reverses her death and the incision, bringing her back to life (sidenote: Zoe is a professor now, how does she still not have the agency to calmly perform a magical Heimlich maneuver—or just the real one—instead of having a panic attack? I digress). Maybe, Mallory uses this power to reverse the damage that the nuclear attacks have caused, thus restoring the world, and humanity, to what it was like before. I would also go as far as to predict that pushing herself to do that much magic may lead to the young woman’s death, as a common theme to AHS is the bittersweet endings. PS: I’m not on board with the theory that Mallory is actually an angel—don’t @ me.
Guys, this season has really been setting up a hero’s journey for Madison, giving her a chance to make amends for her season three antics, and show the humanity we only caught glimpses of previously. She’s far and away a fan favorite, and I would not be surprised if she was the new Supreme. We saw in her visit to Murder House that she was able to use “divination”—the one power she failed at during her Seven Wonders test. If they can give her the screen-time necessary to redeem her in these last two episodes, I think it could be the perfect note to end on.
Read more: https://thoughtcatalog.com/nick-moutvic/2018/11/michael-is-such-a-millennial-antichrist-and-7-other-thoughts-we-had-during-episode-8-of-ahs-apocalypse
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rparchiveblogxoxo · 7 years
Text
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You both like Seblaine, Kurtbastian, and Huntbastian.
Stranger: It had taken everything in Sebastian to escape the grasp of his controlling parents and start a new life in New York City. He'd arrived with very little money and found himself a job in a small gay bar. It may not have been as glamorous as what most Smythe's had but he was happy, he was popular amongst the regulars and got along well with the staff, he made enough money to rent a small apartment close-by while providing for himself. However, there was one man in particular that kept trying to change all that, one of the bar regulars, an older man with a lot of money who had fixated himself on the boy. Sebastian didn't mind, if anything he was flattered. So, when the man showed up at the bar, as he often did on a Friday night, he offered him a small smirk, "The usual, Sir?" He asked, tone flirtatious.
You: Hunter hummed as he went up to the bar, leaning forward against it to hear Sebastian better. He had no problems with making as little a secret as possible that he had his eyes on the bartender, and it was one of the better parts of his week when he got to come here and spend a few hours unwinding and flirting with the younger man. "Of course," he answered.
Stranger: Sebastian nodded slowly, fixing up his drink and sliding it over the bar to him easily, "So, how have you been?" He asked him with genuine interest, "Working hard?" He would be lying if he said he didn't find Hunter attractive, of course he did, but he also made a point of not getting involved with customers that visited the bar so often, preferring short flings.
You: Hunter took the drink, bringing the glass to his lips and taking a sip. "Perfect, as always," he said with a nod of approval. He shook his head slightly at the mention of his work, but just set his drink down on the bar, leaning against it more. "Ah, yeah, work's been busy, as per usual," he said. "It seems some days like most of the people I hire turn out to be completely useless."
Stranger: Sebastian gave him a pleased smile when he complimented the drink, starting to clean some glasses so he didn't look like he was doing absolutely nothing if his manager came through to the bar; not that he tended to. "That bad, huh?" He replied with a laugh, shaking his head, "If you ever want to stop making mega-bucks then let me know, I'm sure I could get you a job behind the bar. You'd be pretty good too, after watching me make drinks all the time." He added playfully.
You: "As tempting as that sounds, I think that I'll have to pass," Hunter said with a laugh, rolling his eyes at his words and shaking his head. He paused for a moment, taking another sip from his drink. "If for no other reason than working here would mean I have to watch other guys flirt with you."
Stranger: Sebastian shook his head at Hunter fondly, continuing to clean the glasses while they spoke, "So, you're the possessive type?" He commented, raising his eyebrows with intrigue, "I can see that."
Stranger: (brb, dinner!)
You: Hunter chuckled at Sebastian's words, nodding. "Well, I certainly can be, when I need to be," he said with a small shrug, looking at him with a small smirk.
Stranger: Sebastian let out a laugh, patting Hunter's shoulder and excusing himself so he could serve a couple that had come up to the bar for a drink. offering them a charming smile as he asked for their order, glancing over at the older man a few times while making their drinks.
You: Hunter let out a soft breath as he watched Sebastian make their drinks, his eyes not leaving the other man for a second. He couldn't help himself but to be a little bit drawn in just by watching him do his work; something about the way he looked when he was mixing drinks made it almost an art.
Stranger: When he was done serving the couple, Sebastian found himself wandering back over to Hunter, who he'd noticed had watched him the entire time, as he often did, "You're very distracting, you know that?" He teased.
You: "Oh, am I?" Hunter said with a soft laugh, grinning and raising an eyebrow at him. "I'd apologize if I felt like I needed to be sorry. But I don't. I like to think that I'm a good distraction."
Stranger: Sebastian bit down on his bottom lip, leaning against the bar, "Mm, you most definitely are," He replied, enjoying that Hunter was so unforgiving and unashamed of the attention he gave him, "And I never said it was a bad thing... But you might get me into trouble one of these days.."
You: Hunter chuckled softly and nodded, looking at him with a grin. He looked at Sebastian, for a moment tempted to reach out and touch him, but holding himself back from doing so. "Get you in trouble, hm?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "What kind of trouble?"
Stranger: Sebastian hummed, his tongue unconsciously going over his lips, "Well, if my boss walks through here and notices that I'm giving one customer more attention than any of the others, I might get a warning.. Or fired..." He explained.
You: Hunter nodded slightly, his eyes drawn for a moment to Sebastian's lips. "Well, if that happens, rest assured that I'll make good," he said, shaking his head. "Help you find a new job, take care of you in the meantime."
Stranger: Sebastian rolled his eyes, "Of course you would," He answered, shaking his head a little, "You're just desperate to take care of me, huh? Have me all to yourself?"
You: Hunter chuckled softly, shaking his head. "Well, I mean, I wouldn't be opposed to that," he said with a shrug.
Stranger: Sebastian laughed, "Or do you just want to see me get told off?" He asked, tone teasing, noticing that he'd finished his first drink and immediately fixing him another.
You: "No, actually, I'm not really into that kind of weird shit," Hunter said with a soft laugh, grinning at him. He hummed, thanking him when he placed his new drink in front of him.
Stranger: "Hmm, nice to know," Sebastian replied, raising his eyebrows, "I am slowly but surely figuring you out, Mr. Clarington."
You: "Yeah?" Hunter asked, looking back at him with a raised brow as he took a sip o his drink. "Do tell, what have you figured out about me so far?"
Stranger: Sebastian hummed, still leaning against the bar, "Well, you work far too hard, you're a little impatient, don't dance, very stubborn and focused," He told him, "Which I say purely based on the fact that you've been coming to this bar for months, and ignore any guy that comes over. Today, I've learned that you can be possessive but you're not too kinky."
You: Hunter chuckled softly and nodded slowly as he listed out the facts. "Mm, not too bad, Sebastian," he said with a nod. Smirking, he went on, "However, I wouldn't say that I'm /not/ kinky. Everyone has their things, I think."
Stranger: Sebastian smirked at that, glad to have him talking, "Oh, yeah? Care to tell?" He asked playfully.
You: Hunter laughed and paused for a moment to consider it. "Sure," he said. "But first, I'd like to hear what you think I might be into. Just out of curiosity."
Stranger: Sebastian pursed his lips for a moment, glancing Hunter over as he considered it, "Well, I know you like younger men. Maybe you like the whole 'daddy' thing," He replied with a small grin, "You're definitely a top, you scream that you're the more dominant type when you walk into this bar, so confident and unafraid to express what you want."
You: "Pretty good analysis," Hunter said with a soft laugh, nodding and grinning at him. He hummed, bringing his drink to his lips again and drinking from it slowly. "I do, in fact, like to take control over my partner."
Stranger: Sebastian raised his eyebrows, unable to help the pleased smirk on his lips, "Thought so," He responded easily, "Anything else I ought to know, Mr Clarington?"
You: Hunter hummed as he looked at him, a small smirk on his lips to match Sebastian's. "Well, aside from how impressively endowed I am, I think you've got the essential information," he said.
Stranger: Sebastian couldn't help but look Hunter over again after the last bit of information, "Is that right?" He asked, though he was quickly brought back to reality when he felt a hand 'discreetly' grab his ass from behind the bar, immediately causing him to stand up, looking at his manager. "Stop flirting with the customers and get back to work, Smythe. You've been warned," His manager, Jerry, uttered, causing Sebastian to roll his eyes and bat his hand away.
You: Hunter let out a huff of air as the man came up behind Sebastian, watching him with a small frown. Watching him as he left, he raised an eyebrow, asking, "So, I take it that's your boss?"
Stranger: Sebastian let out a heavy sigh, glad to see the man go, turning his attention back to Hunter when he spoke and nodding slowly in response, "That's him, beacon of joy," He answered, "Don't worry, he barely ever comes through to the bar. We can still talk, I just need to be a little more cautious."
You: Hunter nodded, still watching the man for a moment before turning back to look at Sebastian again. "Alright, if you're sure," he said. "You don't /have/ to get in trouble on my account."
Stranger: Sebastian offered Hunter a small smile, excusing himself yet again to serve a customer that had approached the bar. When his manager came back through to go to the side of the bar his office was on, he threw Hunter a wink before placing his hands on Sebastian's hips, pressing close to the bartender and whispering words into his ear while he made a drink, to which he shook his head and made a hand gesture for him to leave.
You: Hunter's gaze had been resting on Sebastian while he made the other customer's drinks, a scowl forming on his face as he watched the way that Sebastian's manager was acting. His fingers went tense on his glass, watching the man with a frown.
Stranger: Sebastian's manager left with a chuckle, leaving him to continue serving before he took the few steps back over to where Hunter was sat, "You want another?" He asked him, pointing towards his glass.
You: Hunter looked down at his drink, nodding slightly. "Yeah, thanks," he said. He glanced over in the direction the manager had gone, saying, "I don't like that guy."
Stranger: Sebastian began making him another drink, knowing exactly who Hunter was talking about, "Jerry?" He asked with a slight shake of his head, "Don't worry about him. He's harmless. And like I said, he doesn't come through very often so you won't see much of him."
You: "I'm just not sure about that," Hunter said with a frown. "He gave me this look... I don't like him." He said, letting out a long breath as he watched him. "And, I don't like the way he touches you."
Stranger: Sebastian sighed, blinking at Hunter for a moment before speaking again, "Hunter, it's okay," He insisted, placing his drink on the bar and reaching out a hand to squeeze his shoulder, "I know how to handle myself."
You: "I'm not suggesting that you don't," Hunter said, shaking his head. He took his drink, wrapping his fingers around it. "But just because you work in a place like this doesn't give him the right to touch you the way he does. He acts like he owns you."
Stranger: Sebastian stood up straight again, shaking his head, "Well, he kind of does. He's in control of whether I work in 'a place like this' or not, so..." He retorted, holding his hands up and letting out a breath, offering him a slight smile, "Look, don't get worked up about it, alright? Jerry just has a bit of a thing for me, I'm used to it and I know how to deal with it. You don't need to make it your issue."
You: Hunter just looked at him for a moment, a frown still on his lips. Ultimately, he knew, he wasn't going to be able to change Sebastian's mind, much as he would like to. "Whatever you say," he said. "It's still fucked up."
Stranger: "Don't look at me like that, please?" Sebastian asked, raising his eyebrows, "Not once have you come in here and ever frowned at me. Give me that charming smile I know and love?" He tried to move them back into their easy, flirtatious flow, unsure if the other man would take it.
You: Hunter couldn't help but laugh softly at that, something about Sebastian rendering him incapable of doing anything that made him upset. "Well... Just know where I stand on this, and know that I'm around if you ever decide you want a change."
Stranger: Sebastian raised his eyebrows, "A change? We're back to that again, huh?" He questioned, "Usually you wait until you've had about five or six drinks before you start offering to change my world."
You: Hunter chuckled softly, glancing down at the drink in his hands. "Well, what can I say? Maybe tonight I'm feeling a bit more bold," he said.
Stranger: Sebastian rolled his eyes fondly, grabbing a cloth so he could clean the bar, "Maybe you should use that boldness to finally hook-up with one of the sorry men who have been eyeing you up tonight?" He suggested.
You: Hunter shook his head slightly, glancing around him before looking back at Sebastian. "Unfortunately, I'm not too much of a hook-up kind of man," he said, shrugging.
Stranger: Sebastian hummed, "More a 'set your sights on one man and never give up' kind of guy, huh?" He teased, shaking his head a little.
You: Hunter chuckled softly and shrugged, giving him a grin. "Yeah, it's more along those lines."
Stranger: Sebastian bit down on his bottom lip, he couldn't say he'd never been tempted by Hunter's offers but he didn't want to use the man that way, "I'll never understand why you're so determined to have me, Mr. Clarington."
You: Hunter chuckled softly, shrugging. "Well, what can I say? It's not every day that I find a man who can make me a drink just the way I like it," he said teasingly.
Stranger: Sebastian couldn't help but smirk at Hunter's response, "Is that what this has been about all along?" He played along, placing a hand on his heart, "My drink making talents?"
You: "I didn't want it to come out like this, but yes, of course. All my life, I've been on a quest for a guy who knows how to make a cocktail just right," Hunter said with a laugh.
Stranger: Sebastian laughed too, glancing down at his feet for a moment, "You're a regular James Bond. Shaken not stirred," He insisted, glancing around when he felt a tap on his shoulder, indicating that another member of staff had appeared to help, "It's time for my break. I'll be outside having a smoke if you can't bare being without me," He told him playfully, before going to grab his things from the office, deliberately swaying his hips as he went because he knew the older man would be watching.
You: Hunter watched Sebastian go, pausing for a moment. The part of him that didn't want to appear too needy thought it would be best if he stayed where he was, but ultimately he decided that he didn't care, getting up and following him to go outside to find him.
Stranger: Sebastian made his way outside, lighting up a cigarette, a small grin coming over his face when he noticed that Hunter had followed him outside, "You really do only come to the bar to see me, don't you?" He teased.
You: "After the first couple of times, yeah. You're pretty much the motivation," Hunter said with a small shrug, not ashamed to admit that fact. "You're the best part of the damn place."
Stranger: Sebastian leaned against the outside wall of the bar, blowing smoke between his lips, "You build my ego up far too much," He insisted, "How does it feel to not have a bar between us?"
You: "Maybe, but I think it's rightfully so," Hunter said with a grin, shaking his head. He hummed, looking Sebastian over. "Pretty great, actually. Knowing I could just... step in closer, and have you right there."
Stranger: Sebastian glanced Hunter over too, knowing that he shouldn't encourage him, especially not during working hours but it was far too tempting, "I'm surprised you're not doing it," He told him.
You: Hunter raised an eyebrow at him, looking at him with a small grin. "Is that an invitation?"
Stranger: Sebastian took another drag of the cigarette, their eyes locked, before speaking, "It might be.."
You: Hunter let of a soft hum in approval, stepping in closer into Sebastian's space. One hand found his waist, leaning in and pressing his lips to the corner of his mouth.
Stranger: Sebastian felt his breath hitch, even at the light touches, immediately dropping the cigarette, placing his hands on Hunter's chest, "Now, now, don't get too carried away... I have to go back to work in 15 minutes," He told him.
You: "Fifteen minutes is enough time for plenty of things," Hunter pointed out with a soft chuckle, humming and kissing him properly.
Stranger: Sebastian was stunned for a short moment before kissing him back, one hand finding its way into the older man's hair. This went against all of the things he had told himself he wouldn't do but he couldn't help himself.
You: Hunter hummed against his lips, tasting the cigarette on his mouth. His arms wrapped around him, pulling him in close against him as their mouths moved together.
Stranger: The kiss only intensified, their lips moving together so easily. However, the moment Sebastian heard other people coming outside, he pushed him back gently, offering him an apologetic smile, "They can't see their bartender making out with a customer..." He murmured.
You: Hunter let out a huff of air when he was pushed back, but allowed them to part, taking a small step back. "Right, right," he said, nodding slowly. "Well... Maybe we can pick that back up another time."
Stranger: Sebastian pressed his lips together, tugging gently on Hunter's shirt, "And when do you plan on us doing that?" He asked curiously.
You: Hunter glanced down at Sebastian's hand holding his shirt, humming in thought. "Well, maybe I give you my address, and you swing by sometime when you're not working."
Stranger: Sebastian's eyes searched his face, "You're inviting me over?" He questioned, "To make out?"
You: "If you want," Hunter said with a small shrug. "Potentially more than make out, too, in the interest of full disclosure."
Stranger: Sebastian bit back a grin, shaking his head a little, "I thought you didn't do hook-ups, Mr Clarington?"
You: "Well, it takes a very special kind of guy to get me to go against my norm," Hunter said with a shrug.
Stranger: "And what's the norm? Whisking me away? Letting you look after me?" Sebastian questioned, raising his eyebrows.
You: "Well, in recent history, the norm has been coming here, having a few drinks, and then going home and wishing that I'd done something differently," Hunter said with a small shrug.
Stranger: "You kissed me, that's different," Sebastian reminded him with a small grin.
You: Hunter chuckled and nodded. "Fair point," he said. "But you know what that did? It just made me want more."
Stranger has disconnected.
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