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nothorses · 4 months

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hello am nonbinary 👍 i think a lot of binary trans people fail to recognize the ways they ignore or erase or are unaware of nonbinary trans issues. we are... like, rebinarized, either treated the same as transmale/transfemale or as cismale/cisfemale, when neither of those experiences are accurate or similar to ours (generalizing here, i know transmasc and transfem enbies Exist lol). i dont feel like exorsexism is taken seriously amongst binary trans people.

like... so many nonbinary people talk about having to lie and pretend to be binary trans to endocrinologists to get access to hrt, or not being able to access hrt BECAUSE of their nonbinary transition goals. but when i bring this up, my nonbinary perspective is often overrode in favor of a binary trans perspective (like, "well the gatekeeping hurts binary trans people too, youre not unique"). does that make sense? if i talk about how i feel about the english language's intense gendering and how it will never be possible for me to be "stealth", how i feel like im forcibly recloseted bc of rigidly binary gender roles and will likely die like this, im told that "everyone deals with misgendering". every time i try to talk about something specific to my own experience as a nonbinary trans person, it is derailed

i dont think "binary privilege" is like. a real thing. bc thats not what the word "privilege" means. but there is A Real Difference in how binary trans people are treated vs nonbinary trans people. its like, we should talk about that for the same reason why we talk abt the differences in transandrophobia and transmisogyny. and idk, in my experience, binary trans people dont usually want to talk about that?

I 100% agree, and I think it's a real problem. And I want to be clear that I agree with everything you've said here; I think there is absolutely a real difference in how nonbinary people are treated vs. other trans people, and I think other trans people very often do treat nonbinary folks differently in a way that is genuinely shitty and harmful.

I think we're on the same page about this one, tbh. I'm a little tired of the idea of "binary privilege", but generally for the same reasons that I think "trans male privilege" is nonsense, and that "transandrophobia" as a concept exists without implying that transmascs are oppressed by transfems.

I just think that not everything is an oppression/privilege dynamic, and it's important to be able to talk about unique experiences and lateral aggression without that conversation centering around arguments about who has it "worse", who's perspectives aren't to be trusted, who's problems aren't real, and which other trans people are the Real Enemy. Which it sounds like you agree with.

#i have some complicated thoughts & feelings about the concept of 'nonbinary vs. binary' as like a framework as well #but i dont think i have them ironed out enough to articulate well

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ghostreviewsstuff · 1 year

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Dr Stone (manga)

dr stone is.... a mixed bag. but the parts of it that are good are FAR more interesting that the parts that are bad. dr stone is "bad" in the more boring, predictable, and expected ways typical adventure shonens tends to be bad. you can probably guess what most of those issues are just from the genre.

but dr stone is good in ways ill probs be searching for a way to articulate for years to come.

i do consider it to be the greatest deconstruction of both the lone super genius archetype, and the nihilistic asshole super genius archetype. and i think it succeeds where others fail in part bc Senku is presented in a way easily mistaken for that Type Of guy, but he isnt. it doesnt matter how smart he is, he needs the power of friendship if he wants to get literally anything done. he isnt a nilihistic asshole, he's just immature and rude, and he's actually very optimistic and has an upbeat attitude. he's a great protag i have a lot of love for.

but while i can wax poetic circles about my fascination with how intellect is handled in dr stone, thats an essay for another day. lets talk about the story as a whole.

dr stone's setting is set by a mysterious light turning all of humanity to stone for 3700 years, sending everyone back to the stone age. however its less a time travel isekai so much as it is a lord of the flies caveman arms race. it primarily functions under the typical shonen formula with the notable factor that it's magic system is... real life science. altho a bit elevated for dramatic effect.

the true zeitgeist of dr stone is the back and forth problem solving to build various contraptions to achieve various goals. every character has their own skill sets and personalities that allows them to bounce off of each other and play a role in reaching goals. the cast also has pretty great chemistry making exchanges and banter very entertaining 99% of the time.

while i think the characters are very well written, i have that opinion within the context of dr stone being a plot driven story, not character driven. character arcs are subtle and take a backseat to the wider plot goal posts. i dont consider the low level of character development to be a bad thing, the story just isnt about that and the cast is charismatic and enjoyable for the roles they play.

the setting of dr stone is very well realized in its simplicity. the artist, boichi is capable of drawing some beautiful scenery. the art overall i think is much more good then bad, and the character designs are fun and distinct if you can tolerate the girls looking kinda busted (boichi.... can not draw women i fear) ironically i found the moe eyes growing on me. but ill be real, the fan service isnt that bad. annoying, yes, but not nearly as bad as it could be. you wont ever see a guy fall on top of a girl and accidentally grope her boobs, so much as the occasional jarring ass shot and weird angles around badly drawn women. that said the young girl and mascot character, Suika, is never sexualized in this way, even though she is grown up by the end of the story

i wont claim the girls in the cast dont suffer from some of the typical shonen misogyny, but Kohaku and Suika at least are very well realized characters and solid female leads i like a lot.

i always feel like i should be harsher in my criticism towards this series, i do genuinely consider it enough of a mixed bag of quality ill hesitate to recommend it to people (tho lets be real, the fan service is always the biggest barrier recommending any animanga regardless of quality despite that) but i really do struggle to make a nuanced critique. even things that are more controversial among its fans, like the way the story progresses in its final arcs, i struggle to complain about. structurally the story delivers on its foreshadowing and progresses in ways that make sense and i do think was planned out by at least the half way point of the story.

the biggest most glaring issues are... extremely basic. very typical levels of shonen misogyny and weird politics. it gets kinda weird in the middle in a way i dont really feel equipped address in detail but am grateful a lot of that.. mess doesn't carry over into the rest of story. it gets tied up in bad, but also very common and unquestioned, colonialist mindsets and tropes just as much as it SUBVERTS and DECONSTRUCTS those same bad ideas. which honestly drives a lil nuts if i think about for to long. the narrative loves to kneecap its own themes and progressive philosophies to a frustrating degree, but i do genuinely think the end product is far more good then bad.

i have a lot to say about this manga, but know are to actually articulate maybe a fraction of it. after watching enough youtubers attempt to review it, im clearly not alone in that. lots of people seem to share my struggles in expressing why they also think dr stone is so good. and i think that complexity of how it grabs people in ways that arent easy to understand, are in itself is an aspect of what makes it what it is.

its a very good adventure shonen series that i think deserves a bit of staying power

#dr stone #manga #anime

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a-luran · 3 years

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omg not to be a little bitch but.... id genuinwly love to hear you talk more about that werewolf au if you feel like doing it 🙏 please dont hold back.

i can also just imagine how much of a petty bitch arthur would be knowing that his brother came to him for help and hes depending on his knowledge, and even if he acts annoyed about it and like hes being a nuisance hes still very pleased knowing the bastard has to eat his pride and ask for arthurs help lmao

im sorry im just. brainrot 😩😩

i would love to talk more about it!! Thank you for indulging me xxxxx

--

So, I have thought long and hard about the specifics of Scotland being turned and the general gist of it is this: although in this AU he does have a measure of magical sensibility, his talents are rooted in nature. Drawn from damp, dark earth; peat and smoke. He paints a lonesome figure, near estranged from his past keeping to himself for the most part.

The wolf gets him when he is, of all things, gathering mushrooms. It goes straight for the throat, and leaves him for dead; but rather than die, Al digs his fingers deep into the rotting leaves of the forest floor and lives.

Then he wakes, covered in mud and blood and stinking of wet dog, and the first thing he thinks is oh, fuck.

Arthur was the first to live the house where they all grew up together— the four of them, later five; then only Daffy (Wales) left behind to guard the old mansion where they were all raised. And the first thing Arthur did was this: build a sturdy door and a high fence to between his home and the world. Metaphorically; or at least the fence is, the door is very much there. He runs an apothecary/rare artefact/all-around curio shop and lives in flat stacked right above it. Keeps a small garden out back and a well secured cellar (that will come in handy in a second), and has put away his ambitions and wanderlust to sit still for a moment and catch his breath. He will come and go, to source his stock and scratch the itch to dip his toes in faraway seas, but he rather does enjoy being a grouchy, lonesome shopkeep. The one person he sees most, beside the cast that cycle in and out of the shop— bell ringing over the door, /how do you do, mistletoe and myrtle tincture? Why yes of course, right over there, next to the eye of newt/— is Francis. Francis who is an absurdly powerful necromancer who runs the flower shop and herbarium across the street. Won’t find fresher wares then his! And his cooking is to die for, would you believe?

So what happens next is this: Arthur is pulling up weeds in the back, cursing Francis under his breath because surely it was him who blew the sunflower seeds into his vegetable patch, when Alasdair— estranged, longed for, vexing Alasdair— stumbles past the magic wards that line his property like they’re barely a bother. Alasdair gets out a rough “Lad,” then a wheeze, and face-plants right atop the rhubarb.

Arthur watches it happen with a look like a twit, the knees of his trousers soaked through with spring damp-earth, and in true familiar fashion thinks oh, fuck.

What follows is indeed very much a tug of war between them as they both struggle to find their footing and come to terms with the situation— and each other. Arthur does struggle at first, torn between past resentment and the growing realisation that he wants to be what Alasdair needs. And the same hold true for Scotland, who quickly realises that the Arthur is not-quite who he expected him to be— still infuriating, still himself only…

Forces of nature, the both of them. And a storm brewing between them with every passing day. Francis watches them circle each other with a kind of amused exasperation and wonders who will bite (ha!) first.

Now for the heat and turning… transformation, of all kinds, comes at a price. And it hurts. In this as much as with anything else. They’re both expecting the crack of bone, the ferocity of it, but they’re not quite ready for the drawn-out length of it. The spasms that seize up Alasdair’s body and bring him to his knees for hours before the night is even truly dark. Arthur doesn’t have the time to source anything better for the first time, so they make due with heavy iron chains and wards carved deep into the floor of the cellar.

The first full moon is a horror. It is also breathtaking. The restraints are barely enough against the awesome strength of wolf. Arthur watches him strain against them; watches him pant into the improvised muzzle that Alasdair insisted on when Arthur refused to leave him, and feels a quiet sort of awe. Torn between fear and an emotion he can’t quite articulate. Keeping his distance, both feet firmly on the ground where he sits on the second to last step in case he needs to bolt upstairs, all he can think about as the sun comes up and steals a sigh from Alasdair lungs is how it would feel to press a hand against the wolf’s chest. How hard Alasdair’s heart might thunder against him. How heated his skin. How rough the coarse fur of his scruff. He has little time to think of anything more before he has to move again, reaching for Alasdair to hold him up.

Coming down from the transformation is not unlike an Olympic marathon. Arthur is too busy trying to keep Alasdair’s pulse steady and pouring electrolytes down his throat to spare any more thoughts for the pounding in his own chest.

(One thing Alasdair soon realises after he is bitten is this: that his senses are ever heightened. More so after a shift. Arthur is helping him stumble his way up the stirs when he breathes him in and thinks oh. Just oh, and something in his chest clicks; turns upside down. Arthur is his brother; isn't, never was and always will be. He smells like sweat and fear. Smells of ink and herbs. Smells of worry. Smells of lust. Smells like Alasdair now that they are pressed close together. He’s become Alasdair’s home, precariously. Safe haven, safeguard; his throat is bare and now…)

When the next full moon comes, Alasdair gets loose.

#cliffhanger ;D #scoteng #@neon spirals #prideful sods the both of them. don't be fooled by the prose and the early concessions they are forced to make in the scramble #to prepare for the first full moon #they are both delightfully snippy and petty and angry but also tired and aching to stop #hws england #hws scotland #hhhhh rut smut facilitated by magic mushrooms to get the lad nice and loose because Ali is big on the best of days and now well...#i feel like i should also disclose that he's an ugly werewolf; think wulver #so ugly he's cute

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90sstuffidk · 2 years

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Courtney Love chooses her women of the year, December 1993

Rare Courtney Love interview December, 13 1993

I transcribed this myself from looking at a low quality pic of a magazine page so pls appreciate it lol

Rita Bobbit, folk heroine

“Shes sort of too much of a folk heroine already, but I wanted to include her because shes so damn funny. Shes the one who cut her husbands dick off in his sleep.

“He was very abusive and mean to her, and she put up with it for years and years, and then he started beating her and cheating on bher. It wasnt so much the cheating that got to her, it was the fact that shed left her family and everything behind in El Salvador or somewhere to go and live with him in Virginia. So she got this knife while he was sleeping and chopped off his penis. Then she grabbed it, got into her little Honda with his penis, drove about a block, and threw it onto this grassy ?.

“Then she pulled over and called the cops, and said, “Ive just cut off my husbands penis, and its on this grassy ?”

“Her husband, meanwhile calls an ambulance

She didnt cut off his testicals though - just his penis. I dont know how she did it with a clean sweep because youd have to really hack, wouldnt you? She mustve been sharpening that fucking thing for days.

“I just think its funny. Im not advocating it, but I bet everyones felt like it. This story really sends shivers up mens spines.”

Susan Faludi

“She wrote the award winning “Backlash” - the most well-researched, well written piece of non-fiction Ive ever read in my life. “Its totally mind blowing, totally factual, shocking, insane, evil, and not one lie, all of it true, all of it fact checked. Shes the pinnacle of good journalism, good journalism thats not boring. Its insane and a necessity, not just for women, its a necessity for anyone who wants to learn how the media really works. It shows you how to behave in a way thats acceptable. “I have a lot of friends that had a hard time getting through “backlash” because they get angry. I have one friend in particular who refused to read it past chapter four because it was making her too angry, and she was afraid she was going to turn into “a big feminist” - her own words! No matter what your politics are, whether you agree with me or not, its necessary reading. Editors of “Select” should definitely read this book, and anybody whos a sleezy journalist or who ever aspired to what good journalism is, should read this book. “Meeting her was like meeting Elis Presley, I was for sure more impressed by meeting her than talking to Madonna on the phone about stuff that Madonna knows nothing about.”

Lydia Lunch

“Her work is incredibly neglected.

“when shes articulating about her life, shes incredibly profound and intense - shes such an inspiration because she absolutely changed her life. I would call her the worlds greatest pop song writer. In terms of ?, she takes the cake - that box set she released earlier this year is a total experience. You just loose yourself to this womans incredible wit and intelligence.

“I like her for the fact shes willing to go out into the street and cut off dicks and shoot with guns. For the fact that shes willing to be a voyeur rather than just sitting around, upper middle class, whining about the press. ”Shes populist enough both to use the media and be true to herself”

Janet Billig, Evan Dando - among others

“She was referred to in a british magazine as my human sponge and a wet nurse - which was kind of ironic because, at the time, she was doing all of Nirvanas publicity.

“Shes 23 years old, and shes probably one of the most powerful women in the music industry today at that age. She put Caroline Records on the map, she signed Pussy Galore to them, she was responsible for signing Smashing Pumpkins. Shes got incredibly good taste, she can just hear things - she (rest gets cut off unfortunately)

Tamra Davis

“She directed a hit movie called “CB4″, which is the ? answer to “Waynes World”, she also directed Drew Barrymore in “Gun Crazy” which was very good.

“Recently, theres been this spate of bad girl Hollywood scripts which I got to read the parts in. Theres a Sharon Stone cowgirl movie and a Julie Davis cowgirl movie - and there was going to be this Tarantino movie, “Bad Girls”, with Madeleine Stowe, Drew Barrymore, Andie McDowell. It was an epic movie, all the actresses got 1.5 million Tamara though, was given only 6 million dollars to make the movie with.

“One of the actresses, who I wont name, was very threatened by the idea that a woman was going to direct this movie, even though there couldnt be anyone sweeter than Tamra. They waited seven days and, on the seventh day, because of this actress, they fired her.

“Not only did they hire him for no reason, they gave him 20 million extra dollars. So he got to direct the movie the way it should be directed, because of the female actress who said “I cant be directed by another woman”

“I think its incredible the way Tamra stood up to that, and, furthermore, she doesnt have a bad word to say about anyone - even the actress who had her thrown off the movie.

Drew Barrymore

“She did these incredibly sexy Guess ads. Shes like a fat little girl, but shes sexy and just gorgeous, really sweet, obviously very talented. Im praising heer visual assets, but I just think that its cool that someone can be that sexy in an era of waifs.

“Shes sexy in an individual kind of way without being a bad role modelfor people. I think that if you want to sexualize yourself and youre of age, shes kind of scummy and sexy at the same time, shes not like a fucking candy box and shes not like a mid-western girl and shes not like Kate Moss.

“Shes every girl and shes very attainable. Shes got the same kind of everywoman assets about her like early Madonna had. Any girl can look like Drew Barrymore.”

Chrissie Hynde

“Because she was responsable for one of the most perfect rock records ever written by a woman, and is still writing music and executing it and writing the lyrics.

“She uses her sexuality in a weird way, and always has done. Like the time she posed on the front of NME in black leather with some glam rocker - back when she used to write for them in the Seventies.

“She wrote a great record and I dont give a shit about anything else”

Ellen vonUNWORTH

“Shes the worlds best photographer right now. Her rates are insanely high for a video shoot. And she does these Guess ads

“She wont work for just anyone - she doesnt like rock because it doesnt give her as much freedom as fashion. Shes not looking for grit, shes looking for beauty. Sometimes shell use supermodels, but often she uses really normal girls, normal women. Shes a little plastic but thats part of her job.

“She uses color incredibly. Shes a better black and white photographer than ?, which is saying a lot. I havent seen black and white photography like that since the early Echo and The Bunnymen NME days. Those beautiful U2 covers and Ian McCulloch covers.

Hillary Clinton

“For obvious reasons, I relate to her and Id relate to her no matter what.

“I was never more relieved in my life than when that woman moved into the white house. I just felt like things are gonna be okay now. But, although Hillary and Bill are living in the White House, the right wing re still getting on school boards and banning things like taking deep breathes before tests, because “its new age religion”. They reckon Halloween decorations are satanic, self esteem for girls is feminism, and feminisms been turned into a dirty word - rather than a state of being. Like Humanitarianism or whatever.

“I really want her and Bill to stay there because her health care system is the only thing thats going to keep this country from collapse. Shes spent 67 months on it, and I dont know why America thinks its crazy. Id be willing to, even if I was poor, pay an extra dollar.

“Its pathetic that she has to pretend that she, bakes cookies, its pathetic the way that the American public demands she submerges her intellect. She used to be one of the best yop 10 lawyers in the country.

“Her scapegoating is just a really easy media tactic, because shes an easy target.”

#courtney love #courtneylove #90s #interview #1990s #hole #grunge

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gladiatortale · 4 years

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Baz Pitch Songs - Ben Platt

TL;DR: Baz’s anxious internal monologue lives in the lyrics of Ben Platt’s album, Sing to Me Instead.

I’ve been breaking my own heart for days now with this information and I need to share it with the WORLD.

Okay so I am still an overflowing well of FEELINGS after reading Wayward Son, and in the wake of this I come to the conclusion that there is no better encapsulating soundtrack for the mood of this book than Sing to Me Instead.

The entire album is a goldmine of angst and adult-ulescent zeitgeist (that shitty late teen/ early twenties age where nothing makes sense and there is no road map for anything). But I’m going focus on two song’s in particular that are so unbelievably Wayward Son Baz, that they smell like fucking cedar and bergamot. OKAY.

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Song 1: Grow as We Go

Something I needed to continually remind myself as I was reading Wayward Son is that Baz doesn't actually know that Simon is thinking of breaking up with him. Nevertheless Baz’s pain, confusion, and ongoing identity crises - built out of months of stewing silently in between the first and second book - comes through in every single one of his actions. This is especially true in the book’s early chapters.

To anyone who has been with a partner suffering from depression, the scenes in the flat and at the airport ring through as painfully familiar,

“He’s lovely. A bit of a sad mess. Dull and pale and rough around the edges. But still so lovely.” (Wayward Son, Chapter 9)

Baz loves Simon so much that it hurts him to even think of not being with him. And yet despite not actually knowing Simon’s intentions before Penny slammed a door on his face, (lol) Baz’s anxiety grows from a true fear of losing him; whether that’s losing him to someone else or to depression, the fear remains the same.

ENTER BEN PLATT.

The opening lyrics of Grow as We Go sound like they were written by Baz himself in a letter to Simon,

“You say there's so much you don't know You need to go and find yourself You say you'd rather be alone 'Cause you think you won't find it tied to someone else.” (Grow As We Go, Ben Platt)

(Knowing British people as I do, it’s a bit too much sharing all at once to be something Baz would say all at one time, but I’m getting off topic). These lines encapsulate the bleeding heart bargaining Baz feels as he worries Simon is slipping away from him, while at the same time focuses on the fact that Baz still feels they are destined to be together after everything they’ve survived so far.

“Ooh, who said it's true That the growing only happens on your own? They don't know me and you.” (Grow As We Go, Ben Platt)

Baz would say to the rest of the world, even to Simon himself, that they make each other better by being together.

“I don't know who we'll become I can't promise it's not written in the stars But I believe that when it's done We're gonna see that it was better That we grew up together” (Grow As We Go, Ben Platt)

There’s SO FUCKING MUCH to unpack so I’ll keep in brief. This entire passage links back to motifs from Carry On.

Beginning with the star motif (which I could and MIGHT write a whole separate essay about); Stars have been known to appear during incredibly vulnerable, shifting moments in Simon and Baz’s relationship. We first see the motif when Simon shares his magic with in Carry On, and the motif reappears more with a more cautious, anxious tone in the back of Shepard’s truck withWayward Son. Which is why when it so poetically appears in this verse, it feels like the perfect match to Baz’s tone.

However, the real gut punch of this song comes when we examine this line from Chapter 11, in conjunction with the aforementioned section of the song,

“‘They’re not that far apart,’ I say. ‘Not to you; you grew up in a mansion.’ ‘I grew up at the top of a tower,’ I say. ‘With you’.” (Wayward Son, Chapter 11)

The final line of this section of the lyrics are SO important because they connect to these specific lines from Wayward Son painfully well. They encapsulate Baz’s wish to grow old (as much as he can… ohhh WE’RE GETTING THERE), more specifically to continue to grow old with Simon. Together these passages highlight that, despite Simon’s gradual attempts to pull away from Baz (ironically due to what Simon perceives as kindness), Baz still has faith enough in the strength of their relationship to try and keep them together.

In essence, go listen to the song. It’ll smash your heart into a million pieces, but you’ll still thank me for recommending it.

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Song 2: In Case You Don't Live Forever

AAAAAAAAAAAAH. OKAY.

Here’s where shit reeeeally hits the fan. I’m going to get the obvious out of the way right now.

For the first time in the series, we see Baz actually confront the reality of his immortality in Wayward Son. I know there is still a question mark hanging above this statement because Baz is an semi-unreliable narrator and we only can know what he does, but his conversations with Lamb brings to light the true reality of his condition: Baz can, in theory, live forever. What is also frighteningly true - and a fact which Rowell herself hasn’t even fully articulated yet - is the fact that Simon, as far as we know, won’t live forever.

CUE BEN PLATT AND HIS SAD PIANO MUSIC.

“You put all your faith in my dreams You gave me the world that I wanted What did I do to deserve you?” (In Case You Don’t Live Forever, Ben Platt)

This self-depreciative, I-dont-deserve-anything tone is PAINFULLY in line with Baz’s own internal monologue. Throughout the majority of Carry On (as well as the just under a decade which preceded the events of the book) Baz have lived convinced that Simon is going to kill him one day. When that inevitably DOESN'T happen and they end up together, Baz cannot believe his luck.

“I've waited way too long to say Everything you mean to me” (In Case You Don’t Live Forever, Ben Platt)

AND DESPITE HIS PERCVIED SPECTACULAR LUCK, this FUCKING numpty waits until the LITERAL second to last page of the SECOND book to say how he really feels,

“I raise my voice: ‘Why cant you see that I wouldn’t be happy anywhere without you?’ He sits back, like I’ve slapped him.” (Wayward Son, p. 353)

This ties in beautifully with - so much so I was screaming at my desktop as I listened to it - the second verse of In Case You Don't Live Forever,

“I, I've carried this song in my mind Listen, it's echoing in me But I haven't helped you to hear it We, we've only got so much time I'm pretty sure it would kill me If you didn't know the pieces of me are pieces of you” (In Case You Don’t Live Forever, Ben Platt)

Baz’s hesitation, whether born culturally out of a stubborn British habit not to share your emotions for fear of oversharing, or hesitation specific to his relationship with Simon, has kept him from speaking his mind. It has kept him from speaking about how deeply his life has been changed by Simon, and how fleeting and short their time together truly is.

WHAT MIGHT PROMPT BAZ TO SAY SOMETHING LIKE THIS?? Perhaps the realization that Simon won’t live forever, that he has to say these things to him In Case You Don't Live Forever.

MIC DROP.

Aaaaaand cue the saddest line of the song, please...

“In case you don't live forever, let me tell you now I love you more than you'll ever wrap your head around In case you don't live forever, let me tell you the truth I'm everything that I am because of you” (In Case You Don’t Live Forever, Ben Platt)

The absolutely heart wrenching scene (“Simon… love… get up. We still have to save Agatha.” NOPE. Still not over it!) as they fight The Next Blood in the dead spot, when considered together with Lamb’s words from earlier in the novel, is truly the moment when Baz realises he will lose Simon someday.

In this way therefore the song connects Baz’s internal monologue as it looks forward toward the events of Anyway the Wind Blows.

Now. I would not DARE try to put words in Rowell’s mouth, but when viewed holistically with Baz’s final actions in Wayward Son (his realization of the temporality of Simon’s life against the length of his own, and his brash declaration that his life is hardly worth living without Simon in it) Platt’s song sets to music the logical trajectory of Baz’s emotional state and desires in a way I sincerely hope we see in this next and final novel.

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK.

BONUS:

THESE LINES FUCKED ME SO MUCH I CAN’T EVEN B E G I N TO UNPACK HOW MUCH THIS IS JUST THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND THE WAY BAZ SEES SIMON.

“I have a hero whenever I need one I just look up to you and I see one I'm a man 'cause you taught me to be one.” (In Case You Don’t Live Forever, Ben Platt)

GGGGGAAAAAAH I’M DONE BEING ANALYTICAL. THAT LINE JUST FINISHED ME OFF.

#wayward son #snowbaz #ben platt #baz pitch #rainbow rowell #carry on #simon snow #IM BREAKING MY OWN HEART AND DRAGGING YALL DOWN WITH ME

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death47lyagushka · 4 years

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hey tumblr, so i know that i've had this blog for... 7 years now? man it's been a long time. and i know that despite gathering like 500 peeps in my following just for reblogging bullshit and hopping on fandoms and whatnot, i think i see like maybe 20 url's in my activity, so i dont know how many will see this; not like it's something too important for the internet or anything, i'm writing this post more as a... reaffirmation? i guess?? for myself more than anyone.

so i dont know how many people actually check bios and descriptions, but i've had it up there for a while that i use he/they pronouns. tumblr is a shitshow as it is and since i use it mostly to browse the tons of posts and fanart to make time pass, relatively recent discoveries made me write that in my own bio as much as i started refering to myself with masculine pronouns in my own language(romanian is a gendered language so anything neutral is out the window).

anyway. at some point in the last... two years?? i think, more out of a joke than anything i realised that whenever someone reffered to me with feminine pronouns it would literally make my skin crawl.

long story short because i dont want to blabber on for too long is, after years(more like my entire life) of debating, gradually experimenting with gender nonconformity and countless internal battles,including life-long dysphoria,

last week my own brain put its foot down, so to say, and i realised i that i'm transgender.

so i wanted to write it down here as well?? like coming out to the internet even though i know really well that its not that much of a big thing, at least for myself? this blog is a pretty personal space to me more because i can fuck around laughing at shitposts like i do with my own friends, and ive been part of this "community" for a long time, so i just felt like putting it here as well.

its still weird to say it out loud, but i feel the best when i refer to myself as a boy, and to be honest the signs have been there my entire life, but due to me not knowing what dysphoria was in the first place and having other personal issues to work on i just went with "im not like other girls" to "gender is stupid and i dont have time to even think about this,whatever" to recently buying binders and something feeling a bit more... better despite the countless responsibilities i have.

i came out to my group of best friends last sunday as well and as expected, though it put me through a bit of anxiety just to type it out(i was in the bus home from work, actually telling them face to face would first put me through crying to even articulate it) they took it very well and were really supportive. we were, i guess of now, a group made entirely of girls/nonbinary femmes, with me having been the butchiest of them all, but being included on the femme spectrum has been bothering me for... enough time now.

anyway, before this post gets too long after babbling so much, tldr i'm a trans guy and i feel like this label fits me the best. its a bit ironic since trans rememberance day was just yesterday i think and the realization hit me during trans awareness week.

everyone have a nice day i have to finish breakfast so i can work on my homework :D

#transgender #trans guy #coming out #transmasc #this is p personal so i'd like it if people didn't reblog it tbh #i'm just throwing it out there

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kosmicdream · 6 years

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who was the hardest character to design in ffak/any of your other work?

Hm, I think that depends for a lot of different reasons. Usually when a character is hard to design is because i’m over-thinking it, or haven’t thought about it enough. (like what i want or need this character for) or, trying to remake an older character and attempt to iron out the issues with the design while still keeping them relatively the same. (or merging two characters together into a new one.) I generally don’t like adjusting designs that much once i make them because characters will naturally change so much as I get used to drawing them. it just makes it feel less genuine or authentic somehow. i like my characters to explore how they want to without me imposing too many rules and regulations on them. I’ve been recently trying to design robots for my new comic setting, Replacer, which is pretty difficult b/c I never have spent time drawing robots before so its very new to me. and I don’t spend a lot of time drawing non-organic objects in the first place. Since robots rely on a lot of simple shapes, volume, and can move in different ways than muscles, it makes it difficult for me to naturally think in these new ways and break out of the habits of what I understand best. (aka, people bodies.) that and, it takes a lot of time to understand what kind of story you’re writing so you make a lot of random attempts to see what ends up working or not.In a similar manner, actually articulating/drawing out animal bodies is difficult for me as well as I’ve also not spent a lot of time drawing animals. I don’t have many characters who are animals and I generally don’t have a huge drive to learn animal anatomy lol. IM BAD AT ANIMALS!! IM A LAZY FUCK!! I have an odd relationship with my design sense. I both really enjoy my method for approaching how characters look because its always very organic and spontaneous.. but i also fall into similar patterns and feel fickle when it comes to adjusting them to make it more cosmetically appealing and polished. it also leads to strange choices like “rainbow pube skirts” which i just go with!! because why... not...? ..????????? ????????.......... ?????????OH that leads to something else, i also feel one of my other weaker areas are clothing. I think that might be why so many of my characters end up basically naked. I barely know how to dress myself in fashionable clothes so like when it comes to characters its like “Sure, lets give them all v-necks down past their belly buttons, haven’t done that before!” i just like simple shapes that are easy to draw again and again, but my ‘fashion vocab’ is honestly pretty weak and im pretty sure ive never actually looked at a real shoe before. Oh that being said this is probably why i love aeschylus’ design a lot. he is the acclimation of many traits i think are ridiculous about my art, morphed and cobbled into one character, and yet somehow by that combination he becomes incredibly appealing for me to draw and also one of my “best designed characters.” happy accidents! whee. i very much enjoy the weird, innocent yet deeply cruel sense of humor that comes with him. its like naive yet we’re all in on the joke too. is that why he’s so loveable?? hm............Wow how did i turn this ask about aeschylus. now i dont remember what i was thinking about. well whatever! Happy wormin’! Oh right, Helix is probably one of the more difficult ffak characters because I’m trying to resist making him look too cute. he’s like .. cute yet uncomfortable at the same time and meant to evoke some feelings from uhh frank the rabbit from donnie darko. i think thats what that character was called. anyway, it traumatized me as a child. helix still looks more normal than i would like him to, so I have a feeling he’s going to adjust a bit by the time that character gets to appear in the comic for realsies. his character is narratively a bit complicated as well. Laima was also kind of hard to decide on, mostly because I had a few different ideas for her looks before actually drawing her out. but I ended up quite happy with her finished look, even if she takes a while to draw. Ok im done for real now. spins and vanishes into a mysterious mist

#ffak faq #ffak #feast for a king #lori-blogstuff

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apsbicepstraining · 7 years

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He’ll be back: why old age can’t hinder Arnold Schwarzenegger down

The man they call the Austrian Oak has brandished a sword, a shotgun and a superintendents pencil. But as he returns 70, is time eventually catching up with Arnie?

All his life, Arnold Schwarzenegger has symbolized predominance. Mr Olympia, Conan the Barbarian, the Terminator, the Governator on screen or on a rostrum he was the most difficult, the most prominent, the mightiest. Whether maintaining a sword, a shotgun or a governors pen, as a film reputation or himself, he exulted in success in victory.

Crush your opponents, receive them driven before you and sounds the lamentation of the women. Ill be back. If they dont have the intestines, I call them girlie souls. He was, and apparently ever would be, the Austrian Oak.

A preternatural position of trust, focus and passion propelled him from the forest hamlet of Thal to triumph in bodybuilding, Hollywood and US politics. The accent and a name formerly deemed unpronounceable did nothing to slow him. Even the puns, such as Clive James equating him to a brown condom full of walnuts, simply bolstered the mystique.

But as Schwarzenegger approaches his 70 th birthday on Sunday he meets a relentless, insidious foe not even he can vanquish: duration. Schwarzenegger, after all, is human. And the clock, unlike alien predators and rival cyborg from the future, cannot be stopped. As it clicks, his supremacy ebbs.

He precisely wants to be number 1, in whatever situation. He would do anything to sustain it. But the ageing process … its never welcome, said Barbara Outland Baker, a former girlfriend. I consider deep inside him there is some inconvenience: What am I supposed to do with this journey? I simply want to be number 1. If not number one, what am I supposed to do?

Schwarzenegger stands famous, popular and busy manically busy. Early mornings you are able to blot him in Santa Monica, belting up Ocean Avenue on his bicycle, winging through red lights for his cardio. He still runs iron, behaves, excursions and champions political campaigners and causes.

He is like a Terminator machine in terms of ceaseless travelling, going, moving, endeavor, striving, strive, read Bonnie Reiss, world-wide administrator of an institute that brings his reputation at the University of Southern California.

Striving, but no longer overcoming. Schwarzeneggers recent cinemas have fizzled at the box office. He stumped in vain for John Kasich in last years Republican primaries. Chatter of him moving for Senate or organizing some type of political comeback has faded. The former activity hero who passed California is greater number one.

He has invested his remaining political capital in the worthwhile if arcane issue of redistricing improve – curtailing the gerrymandering which bedevils local and position polls and gasolines partisanship. He is ginning up coin and attention for a example which will reach the Supreme court of the united states in October.

Hes a gadfly. He doesnt actually have much of a constituency in the Republican party, supposed Jack Pitney, a politic prof at Claremont McKenna College. California Republicans dont talk about him any more. Hes virtually a non-person.

Schwarzenegger used to be political royalty. He wedded Maria Shriver, John F Kennedys niece, and as an outsized GOP outsider brushed off sexual abuse charges dubbed gropegate and won Californias governorship in 2003.

It was a rocky tenure. He mocked Democratic adversaries as girlie souls, clashed with unions and other strong interest groups and watched the recession erupt a monetary crisis. He precluded meltdown and won re-election by rebooting his administration, moving to the political centre and grinding out legislative additions. Upon leaving bureau in 2011 he defiled his legacy by commuting the jail convict of the son of a political friend. His divorce from Shriver amid shows of an liaison and secret son with their housekeeper further dented his reputation.

For all his political attainments he mobilised California in the battle against climate change the loss of executive clout must hurt, responded Outland Baker. He really likes notoriety and dominance and the movie industry cant render the same degree of real fulfillment, she mentioned. Their relationship ended in 1974 but they remained in style and he gave an interview for her 2006 memoir, Arnold and Me: In the Shadow of the Austrian Oak .

Schwarzenegger, who became a US citizen in 1983, dreamed of the White House. But an effort to amend national constitutions, the so-called Arnold amendment, failed to lift the ban on foreign-born nominees. A gigantic punch, remarked Outland Baker: You want to be best available, the meridian, if youre Arnold. If he had been able to run, he would try.

The ascent of another celebrity-turned-GOP legislator to the Oval Office, nonetheless, has invoked an unexpected character, one with a global spotlight and rapt audience: needler of Donald Trump.

The two used to be on good terms but Trumps rise provoked a discord. It erupts in slug and counter-slug every few weeks. The chairperson branded Schwarzenegger a total cataclysm and pathetic as multitude of Celebrity Apprentice, which he used to host himself. He told their own nationals prayer breakfast accumulate: I want to just pray for Arnold … for those ratings.

Schwarzenegger has swung backwith gusto. Hey Donald, I have a great thought, he said in a video posted on social media. Why dont we swap errands? You take over TV because youre such an expert on ratings and I take over your work and then people can finally sleep comfortably again. When Trumps approval ratings sank he gloated: The ratings are in, and you got bog.

Speculation bristles over Trumps motivation for the trolling.

A competition with person he thinks is worthy of being an opponent, indicated Joel Fox, a taxation policies consultant who collaborated with the Governator. I think he discoveries Schwarzenegger warning because he has this deep insecurity about his maturity, suggested Pitney, the psychoanalyst.

Photograph: Allstar/ ORION PICTURES

Whatever the reason, the Terminator star has become a subtle irritant and agent provocateur to the worlds most powerful gentleman, spoke Michael Blitz, co-author a 2004 biography titled Why Arnold Troubles: The Rise of a Cultural Icon. Arnold may not be able to pump much iron anymore but he remains a prolonged whiz of pumping irony into the ludicrous position of American politics. He is the has-been who are continuing is .

Schwarzenegger is well equipped for battle in this nexus of politics and luminary, announced Reiss, of the Schwarzenegger Institute. Trash-talking and heading psyching was part of the bodybuilding world, she told. The future head sharpened his razzing knowledge against a bodybuilding rival, Lou Ferrigno, the future Incredible Hulk, in the 1977 documentary Gushing Iron.

Trump and Schwarzenegger convert the strife into publicity, articulated Outland Baker: They have enough in common that they are likely understand the psyche of each other better than the rest of us.

Schwarzenegger had more to addition, mentioned Fox, the policy consultant. If the president wants to engage with Arnold, its advantage Arnold. The former minister has expended the attention to spotlight climate change and an after-school program, both causes close to his heart.

Trump-trolling aside, Schwarzenegger labours hard to sustain his firebrand against the ravage of time. It plots to downsize him, literally: his official height, 6ft2in, has been quarrelled over the years by doubters who claim he is closer to 5ft10in.

He still works out at Golds gym in Venice, trundles around Los Angeles in his( biodiesel) Hummer and hurtles widely to promote climate change appraises, bodybuilding contests and movies.

The bankable stellar of war movies such as Predator, Commando and Total Recall, and comedies such as Twins and Kindergarten Cop is long gone. Recent activity outings such as The Last Stand, Escape Plan and Sabotage misfired. Swiveling to smaller, quieter films Maggie, Aftermath won over some reviewers( Arnie can play !) but audiences bided away. He plays a hitman in the upcoming slapstick Why Were Killing Gunther.

Schwarzenegger still brings stardust and policy comprehension to affairs promoting the environment, bipartisanship, voting improve and youth curricula. France recently recognised his climate change efforts with the Legion dHonneur.

A packed, honoring life for most people but Arnie? The meaning of life, he one told, was not simply to subsist, to survive, but to move forward, to go up, to attain, to curb.

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