#but i feel like i get v better now

[princekirijo]

Damn Visions of V was so good, really made me appreciate V more as a character

#dmc #really just that man 🐴 picture right now thats what im feeling #the illustrations were gorgeous too really liked the style #but i feel like i get v better now #i knew the plot of it but i decided id try find it and actually read it and im really glad i did #the last chapter especially... ough #i GET vergil even more now #and ngl i kinda love griffon 😭 #i liked him in game but was kinda eh about him but honestly his personality won me over #love that jackass chicken <3 #oh we know we in the dmc hyperfixation now im reading the mangas #idk what ill read next but i know there are more

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

#my characters #waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit #deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee #and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name #deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c #man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while #he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair #ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so #its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons #but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me #and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not #fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew #and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable #while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts #and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed #so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en #so you know maybe its that idk #and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now #and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it #and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad #that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal #and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it #the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer #anyway story time in the tags again #im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note #its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him #he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times #and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea #and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you

[airborneice]

hey guys I wanna try a thing

#these are from like 3/4 years ago I feel old #I’ve been wanting to do some proper redraws for a while #it’s super nice getting notes on old posts but now I spot the mistakes and agh. I wanna Fix Them #and i have some ideas for how i could make some of these way better now #bc I think for most the concept is nice but the execution is bad #sooo help me out? 👉👈 I’m v indecisive #also i prob wont do this immediately but itd be fun to have something on the backburner #hilda the series

[mewkwota]

Shortly following my previous session, I continue with the main protags of XC3. I’ve always wanted to give a go with Noah when the game got revealed, but never bothered to try that until now. I kept flipping back on how foofed I wanted his bangs to be.

#no matter how many times I draw that pose I can never get the dynamic feeling quite as I like #oh well #I won't get better unless I keep trying >:V #okay now that I got that cat out of my system I can sleep #doodle-daas #xenoblade chronicles #xenoblade 3 spoilers #noah #matthew

[octopus-doctor]

not them 1) even including my boy in the first place but 2) giving him the glow up of the century 3) giving him literally the coolest introduction of all time as well as the coolest battle scenes and 4) giving him a genuinely heartfelt resolution to his story. they did that for me for real ;v;

#mgadd #molecule man #moon girl #like this might not be my og boy but i love so much what they did with him #and was so glad he got to be included in literally anything at all especially since the beyonder is already there dgjfdgihg #i have a lot more i wanna say but later hopefully #I've been semi absent for a bit bc I've been feeling utterly dead inside and hopeless #but at least getting to see him made me happy ;v; #i am watching thru the rest of the show still lol but you better believe i went ahead and watched the 2 eps he's in already #i hope we somehow get to see him again in 2b or if there gets to be an s3 and/or s4 ;0; #i also need to see the beyonder again but he's like assuredly coming back vs MM here who i feel it's nebulous #sorry gonna post about this show here now too lol yes it's mainly spidey but my love for Molecule Man has been in my bio from the start lol #also funny how he's still called Molecule Man even tho he's some kinda alien now afhfdfjd like what's this versions real name i wanna know

[rotzaprachim]

*breathes in and out through mouth* everyone is scared and grieving and still waiting for news of their families everyone is scared and grieving everyone is scared and grieving*

#Jewish communal leader hurt me very and I mean VE TU deeply today #I mean very #I think in what was to her mind a not passive aggressive way she felt the need to explain the Israeli Side and Israeli history #But like the nail in the coffin was implying that I don’t feel as deeply for the people in Israel #I don’t understand the depth of suffering of the people in Israel #Because I was bothered on Saturday zoom Torah by how Netanyahu has used this for more war crimes #That the fact that I care about Gazans means I don’t feel enough grief or a normal Jewish grief as she sees it for Jews #To me this is jsut unconscionably cruel #Also that the majority of Jews don’t support a ceasefire or at least local Jews #Well if that’s true I want no part of it. Not now or ever again #I can’t believe she felt the need to like. Explain the news cycle to me #I didn’t get this off a tiktok ma’am #I read yo@v g@llant in fucking haaretz. I heard what he said #*no one in Israel is calling for mass death* clearly they are #Anyway she told it was whataboutism to care about the reprisals on a civillians population from what Hamas did #And to feel better being part of a community or doing soemthing active. Maybe read this book on feminism I’ve already read #I’m just so hurt by it all! #Telling another Jew they don’t feel or care enough for ‘am yisrael is the deepest cut there is

[kartana]

I feel so sad this sucks i can't stop thinking about doing everything wrong with v I feel like im gonna cry I hate going to sleep early the day after I stay up it's just hours of laying down with stupid train of thoughts that come at night and I can't sleep I just want to sleep I don't want to feel so awful in the morning I don't want to feel awful right now I wish I could just get my thoughts in order get to the point and cry and be done with it. Nothing is going to change from yesterday to today to tomorrow I will just have been miserable and things won't change because of it I wish the world was kinder I wish the world wasn't so cruel I wish things were different I want to cry and now I can't even feel that anymore.

#i was going to save this in drafts but fuck off its my blog and the only time posting my feelings bled into real life it was with v #and it was a good thing i wish i had the fucking guts and wisdom to recognize and talk about #godddddd i feel like ripping apart my body thinking about things i did why couldnt you have been smarter better why were you you #i want to go back and be a different better me than the real me #i need to have been better what the fuck was wrong with me #big lungful of air later i will not be cruel to a naive and inexperienced younger me but god i wish i was better #theres more life theres more time its fine live with it and continue #jesus christ #i wish i could just cry my whole body feels stuck #im physically holding in the emotions out of instinct #out of old habits borne from doing anything to avoid the pain and now its stuck in my fucking chest #get out of meeeee #let me sleeeeeeep its the AM now these emo feelings are lack of sleep bullshitttttt #god i want ti call off work im quiting soon anyways #and i wont #fuck

[gibbyslounge]

things im still not over (as someone who was mostly inactive since mid 2021):

mask and change my clothes!! i dont think i was active on tumblr when change my clothes was released, but the way i ascended when i heard his soft sweet singing voice <33 mask is my favorite song of his and it still makes me emotional to think about what the song meant to him. his creativity is one of his greatest strengths and i am endlessly happy that he found a way to share more of himself in a way that he really enjoys

DREAM TEAM MEETUP tbh i really did not know if these days would ever come. its so so so crazy to think that florida man dream texas cowboy sapnap and british george are really all living together and existing in the same space. seeing them be THEM irl is still very surreal and makes me pause for a second without fail. so so much of the community centered around them not having met each other irl

DREAM FACE REVEAL!!!! this one i REALLY HONESTLY didnt know if it would ever come, just because the courage it takes to face reveal after building one of the largest audiences is fucking crazy. i thought that even if they did end up living together, dream might’ve found that he is happy to just be with them and not want to face reveal anymore. ig never doubt dream- he’s such a “go big or go home” type of person. i love him regardless but now he is also a big bear who wears cat beanies and has the prettiest eyes and im emotionally attached

dream pics before his face reveal with a big emphasis on suit pics, swt halloween, and strawberry dream. his white hoodie posey pose and the ones with the blanket and patches have a permanent home in my heart but these had me convulsing and i didnt get to gush about them here </3

#long tagsss #why does it feel like no time has passed yet SO MUCH has changed #i feel very very late to everything i think in some ways i am still kinda stuck in the past #it was just today where i officially really matched dream to his voice and that was rlly cool #he has always been very cute and dorky kind generous and open hearted #and you can see that when he interacts with people in irl streams too #ik i kinda left wo saying anything and sometimes i wish i had still been active to freak out abt everything w everyone #but basically it just got more stressful than fun bc my hpfx became unhealthy and i had to move for college and learn to be on my own #im back home now after transferring and my mental health is a lot better #sm has changed in my life too!! #being active here still makes me feel nostalgic abt all the old times though #however it really is just the beginning and i keep thinking abt how dream spoke abt things speeding up and im v v happy that i get to tunein #dreamblr

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#just an observation bc im avoiding working on stuff but i draw a lot and post basically everything i draw thst gets finished #and its v funny to me how u can tell how out of focus i was based on the quality of the drawing #or like when i post something and its like ok some of that was good but u def gave up halfway thru one of those lol #inconsistency i funny like that. its also funny to me that now a days i get comments like COLORS!!! #which is funny bc i notoriously haaaaaate coloring. like i will sit around whining and complaining when im home with my parents bc i dont #wanna color. its just so easy to fuck things up when u draw traditionally and it takes a million years so its a big ask lol #but i guess i dont hate is so much right now bc i kinda just slap whatever colors i want together like fuck it we ball #and thats kinda fun. reckless i suppose #its agony when u wanna try to do shadows and lights tho. like finding references ugh #or wanting to draw big ideas but then its like oh god its gonna take so long and if i dont do it all in one sitting i might die #im a lil better abt thst now bc it would b impossible but in my head i still hate it #ugh. all i wanna do is draw. theres another universe where i went to art school. or just like took art classes. and i wanna say id b happier #but thats def a lie XD i like learning too much and i dont have the attention span to hardcore learn genetics outside an academic #environment. and i got way too excited abt exploring the genetic traits of my cyano species #like i can make genetics trees for traits and look for. fuck. i forgot the word. how tf did i forget the word. oh god. horizontal gene #transfer. jesus christ its like theres a hole in my brain. well. i guess i did get only like 4hrs sleep. ugh im rambling. #i need to finish getting ready for Monday so i dont have to tomorrow and ill have time to draw. prob wont stop me feeling nauseous abt #teaching tho. OH FUCK. i just remembered i have a new office space now to decorate. fuck i need to hang up pictures and stuff #what would b the funniest way to put narut0 on my deskspace? idk ill have to think abt it. oh god im not ready #my head is like a handbell. one of the big ones when u ring it and it hits soft and u can feel the vibrations. someones wrung my head lol #unrelated

[moeblob]

Today.............. has genuinely. Been. A Day.

Have some OC doodles I started yesterday before tragedy struck and are like the bare minimum effort for today to finish. Since the two princes were originally not /in canon/ for another plot but rather made for a mafia AU as cousins to one of the main characters for the base plot. I was like. Huh let's give them a happier life. So here they're just princes and instead of the police department/detectives that most of the main cast is in base plot, those are the royal guards around the twins' castle.

#my characters #the funny thing is that the princes are like......... made for an au of another plot #and here they are in another au of the plot #so like yeehaw everyone i love my ocs and i love putting them in situations #also idk what its worth but hey happy pride atticus is trans im proud of him #it has zero relevance to the plot but its important to me that hes trans #he also is like.... an absolute bundle of friendliness which is a huge contrast to the twins cousin #who is extremely stoic for the most part and finds it hard to feel emotions and thinks #everyone feels the same way all the time like him - WHICH IS DEPRESSED BY THE WAY #but he learns that ah nope thats just him and oh hes better by the power of love #and he doesnt actually get it ?? like in canon or mafia or as a prince hes just like #huh i like this guy and he makes me want to smile which is really odd im gonna stay by him if i can #and doesnt even realize right away hes fallen in love #atticus and caspian however are very aware of their emotions and are v happy to see their cousin feel things #and are constantly there to tease him but support him and help him and theyre all good boys #ill shut up in the tags now bc the tags are taking me as long to type as the art took to doodle

[scorpiothesaint]

sorry i ain't post new WIP stuff yet chronic illness & schoolwork got the best of me but also im feeling so inspired to polish some stuff after i finish my assessments this evening

#inspiration is surrounding identity #cuz it's so weird i used to feel v rigid abt my identity but yknow having known i was some flavor of lgbt for the better part of 20 years? #well obv some shit will morph and evolve over time #basically: i used to not get why ppl would ID as queer when there are so many specific labels #but now as sb whose identity beyond 'ik i function as a BW in many settings' is so nebulous im like. ppl eye am so sorry #for acting so ... confused abt it when theres clarity in that ambiguity #my attachment to nicknames in my work is also a big thing i hope some future reader picks up on re: identity #ik a lot of queer westerners/western adjacent ppl love the exoticism of 'weird' fantasy names but as sb who grew up w a #'weird' exotic name in the west i take sooo much comfort in the fact that you can be called whatever you want

[ev1lmorty]

feel v mean calling out soecific meta but im still kindve fuming over a post i saw w a bit too much engagement a few months ago implying erick couldve never gotten physical w emorty bc if he had emorty wouldve not put up w him as long or wouldve easily been able to defend themself actually it was a poll like. rallying abt what kind of abuse everyone thought emorty had endured like placing bets on how badly rick brutalized him. have we lost the fucking plot lol

#the way u can tell a lot of meta treats morty abuse as some sort of voyeuristic hobby #god i have bitched abt this on my priv so often i forget if ive said it here but i wish ppl could go #yeah i want to fuck rick n i acknowledge he is an abusive figure in his familys life or he didnt ysed to be this bad #but he allowed himself to let go of reality n become this person #like rick isnt just abusive in bed dominating ur reader in planned consenual dom settings. lol. anyways #idk i wuv rnm for having a portrayal of an abusive relationship i can actually fully relate to including the complicated codependent #feelings n having to navigate when things improve n the person gets better n what ur supposed to do when yr basically #left to pick the pieces up urself n how much of the tradegy behind their actions help n how much doesnt matter #im rambling now bc its v v late #also like enabling family when ur created in abuse it keeps going n going ppl no longer are able to acknowledge beths complicity #n jerrys apathy despite being the family scapegoat n at a similiar position to morty but its the quiet parent who tries to stay down #who enables it the most etc #summer loves her brother but gains something from the dynamic if she engages in the toxicity i could go #on #but it still comes back to rick.

[arklay]

DANI HAINES x CLAIRE REDFIELD / template.

#mine. #pair: dani x claire #oc: dani #click for better quality ♡ #i was originally going to upload both the claire and carlos ones in the same post but their colours clash together i feel so i'll leave it #for now (i mean i still need to get a picture for him cause it's hard finding hd ones of his face model) #anyway!! the cooking one. i've talked about dani and cooking lmao but i also feel like claire is like... they are microwave chefs. or order #takeout. they are not good cooks lmao and good for them honestly!! like i have many thoughts with claire but i won't ramble too too much in #the tags because we all know how i get!! also they both spoil each other but dani is like. a lot. she's... she's a lot. font is supposed to #be similar to made in heaven logo on her new classic costume and jacket but ya know. just the vibes!! you understand!! and helicopter icon #for dani will be used on carlos template me thinks but butterfly for now. couldn't find nice bird ones but i mean. they are both her lil #motifs so it's fine!! but yes now you know what i mean when i was saying their colours are like a watermelon and i'm kinda obsessed with it #OH also dani's jealousy level is higher than both claire's and carlos' which is so funny to me because like they are in a v polycule so #those two are just friends and she's the one with two partners and yet she's the more jealous one. okay dani. i love her #the shut up kiss makes me go insane though... looking at first to confess and first to kiss and gestures vaguely. i'm normal about that!!! #and first thing in my edits tag that isn't blue... this is weird this is so so weird oh my god #posting this now even though people are busy and such but if it stays in my drafts any longer i'll lose my mind soooo goodnight besties hope #everyone is having good holidays!!

[violet-dragongirl]

...so sadly I'm back in the Bethesda Caves....again...[angrily] chasing shadows and modding FO4... So far things work...but knowing how that game is...*sigh*

Anyway main thing is I've been really into overgrowth/forest environment mods lately for that game and I decided to take my old one out since it was giving me so much trouble last time and try another, but there's another out there that's actually more overgrowth AND trees than just...trees.

But it's still in beta and requires so much reading (reading the process to get it in the game ain't the problem btw) that I decided to just sit in the discord, read, and wait.

The one I have now should suffice with the theme of the game I got going so far but yeah...for a while I got tired of the Scorched Apocalypse look cos seriously that's been over done for games/stories that start like...200+ years (basically Post Post Apocalypse) after the Post Apoc started and like...I'd like to think that nature is a LOT more resilient than we'd like to write about in stories sometimes so having a mod that reflects that...ish...not perfect or scientifically accurate, but enough to where like...it gets the point across that you're in a world that's been through a lot worse nature wise and is now "healing"...even if that healing is just...Not Good for your chances of survival in said Post Post Apocalyptic Story.

#irrelevant babble #approximately 14 work hours on getting the mods in and doing basic tweaking; engineering; and testing #that has spanned a total of about 3 days since the re-installation of FO4 #CP77 is better in the sense of it's process because it is indeed faster to get the whole process done and play a lot more #but for now I've played so much of CP77 that I decided that I just...need a long break from it... #Still pissed I can't romance Panam as Fem V without mods #and the one mod that can get it done...I feel like it needs to cook a bit longer...

[heyitsphoenixx]

.

#personal vent incoming to just get off my chest don't be weird about it #i've known since i was a kid that my dad was overtly abusive but #just in the last 3-5 months i've learned my mom was and currently is almost just as abusive #but she's just covert about it instead #all of my adolescence was about surviving my dad who was so obviously a monster that he was almost easier to deal w in a way by comparison #this is. what an utter mind fuck #there's also like. no member of my family that i can turn to for help #bc they're either just as bad or my mother has ruined any relationship i might have w them over time #and i also fear being a burden #so i'm making a plan to get out but god it's overwhelming thinking about doing it all alone #and the thought that it might take years to actually get out or get healthy #she's kept me isolated from any support for so long #and im afraid any family that could possibly help wouldn't fully understand or they would be just as bad as her #and it feels impossible to progress at all bc im living w her and literally filed as her dependent on taxes #like ik this is gonna be the hardest thing to escape in my life and i've already escaped a lot #but this time i have to largely on my own #is v scary #and she's conditioned me to believe that i can't make any right decisions on my own without her #and that anything i do is always 'backwards' #makes it that much harder to make a clear plan #her work schedule is so inconsistent that it makes getting therapy online (since i don't have a license or car yet) nearly impossible #to do it without her or my brother listening #that i've just felt trapped for years #but. i can Tell i'm getting better now and rapidly. more than i've been for a v long time #so the process is just beginning and i think even she can tell #which is also dangerous #but ik i can do this its just the amount of time and effort and organizing behind her back and doing it alone thats v overwhelming #but anyway #we stay silly

[fiendishartist2]

guys what if i want to make my own apollo justice game.

#i need to write a prequel to aa4 pls pls pls pls pls #okay get this: so phoenix isnt disbarred yet and he doesnt have trucy. hes still taking and winning cases #one day he gets a call from edgeworth and hes all like ''wright i need your assistance'' and hes like what for and edgeworth goes #''ive been given the most ridiculous case and i think youre the only man in law who can take care of it'' #so phoenix bikes his ass to the detention center and boom. child behind bars #and phoenix is like ??? hey kid what are doing here. and this kid is the most surly mfer on the planet like you couldnt get- #-a word out of him if you tried. hes kinda giving phoenix the stink eye too but hes just the littlest guy on earth #and phoenix feels bad for him so he tries to get a rundown of the case (maybe edgeworth gave him an autopsy report or smth beforehand) #but get this. the kid still wont speak. he hasnt even moved a muscle. and after some prodding you find out this little dude- #-doesnt speak english (i dont love aa6 but i think apollos tragic backstory can be interesting so we're going w that but taking it seriousl #anyways so maya is like omg this kid is speaking khurainese but hers is kinda broken bc shes not from the mainland and only knows it- #-from like prayers #so you only get bits and pieces of the kids testimony. plus he still doesnt wanna talk bc ''dhurk told me not to talk to you'' #so you start following the new lead but you ask too many questions and apollos like oh shit i said too much and wont talk to you anymore #but now you have two leads: khur'ain and a man named ''dhurk'' plus the fact that this is kid might be new to america since- #-he cant speak english but is smack dab in the middle of california. its all v curious and phoenix wants to get to the bottom of it #for the rest of the case i feel like it would go in the direction of ''we dont know exactly whats up w this dhurk guy or where this kid- #-came from but we do get him acquitted and phoenix is able to save him from the dark path he was heading towards'' thus steering apollo- #-in the direction of law and giving him a wayyyy better reason than aa6 gave him <3 #i kind of like the interlinked nature of ace attorney's storytelling. like everything leads into smth else and everyone is impacted- #-by another person before they even become properly entangled w each other's lives #like how mia faced dahlia years before she met phoenix but dahlia was the one to connect them #or how trucy gave phoenix the diary paper but she's also the one who ropes apollo into the waa. even before they know they're siblings #or how lamoire left apollo and trucy as children and when they reunite as adults they cant recognise each other but they all find each- #-other anyways #i could go on but i think this could be cool yknow esp bc i think the most interesting thing about apollo's aa6 backstory is his life- #-post dhurk. like where did he stay? was he a foster kid? was he put into the system? how did that affect him? what kind of ppl took him in #i just wanna know how that whole thing would have effected him bc like when yiu think about it how did he even get to america?? his dad's #-considered a terrorist. idk man i think its interesting and apollo and dhurks interactions are one of the only good parts of aa6