#but im not 13 anymore so idk how successful i will be

[rowanfalls]

Man, seeing people around me engaging in minecraft Fandom makes me wish for the old days when I had the time and patience to sit through huge videos of people mining in order to experience Plot and Lore and Feels. It almost makes me want to give the newest SMP or whatever a try. I want to scratch that itch that old yogs content left behind. I want to be able to appreciate all this beautifully detailed and emotional looking fan art to the fullest extent.

But like. That requires effort /hj

#who knows #maybe ill try #but im not 13 anymore so idk how successful i will be #minecraft

[single-malt-scotch]

aauuughhhhghgh trying so hard not to make myself nostalgia sad watching the old videos again. but i am aching.... getting to the videos around the 2012 minecone, the meetups, etc. that was certainly around the time where them making videos was a serious Thing. more of them were living w only youtube as their job, and bdubs' video from after the bteam meetup (a good watch for some talk on yt as a job, how it was before, etc)...reminds me of how much of a huge change it was.

it was so new, and as he says in that video, it was hard to shift his perspective to realize how people looked at him, and that he realized it was important that he was in a good mental place when recording. internet popularity from an online job was new and when youre doing something as casual as making videos and playing a game, youre not really put in a position to think you are any different from anyone else you've been around online.

being 13 watching these guys play minecraft- it was a big thing back then, and the excitement for it was unreal. youtube has been more normalized in time, watching a guy play games is not a niche interest anymore. the success and size of the following is unfathomable compared to 2012. and yet 2012 still feels unreal in my head.

it was just like, idk. watching it unfold in real time. there is something strange about living through such an intense evolution of the internet, i guess. it feels like all that was so so long ago. its hard not to miss when things were "smaller". but its also just missing the hype of riding along for something New. watching these guys slowly go from hobbyists, to making it a job, to them realizing their popularity has a much bigger reach than they realized. following someone for ten goddamn years is wild. i really just watched ten years of their life through minecraft videos... its a LOT. there are 10 year olds who could have been born when one of them started making videos, who is watching them now.

anyways. im not fucking old im 23 but it feel like its been 50 years for some reason goddamn

[moebits]

enough

one day, when i reached 60.6 kg, and almost underweight, my dad invited me at sushi. I was anxious bc i wasn't prepared for those cals (at the time i was just consuming 700) and i just had some for a coffee with milk for dinner, but I accepted it anyways.

He told me that he was concerned about how i was getting more thin, how i was eating that little and he asked me if i was into "that anorexia thing". I just said i wanted to stay healthy and idk, i said "maybe the aerobics are doing something" and things like that.

He said "please, don't starve yourself. You aren't fat. If i was a stranger, i would say you have a slim body."

The next day, he bought me a lot of caloric dense food and made me promise him that i will be eating good.

I agreed.

2 months have passed, i gained 13 kg and have a "good" bmi.

I haven't felt this worse

i see my body and i want to throw up

i want to cut every part of me bc im so repulsed

i can't anymore.

My mom doesn't stop reminding me how im not skinny/so huge and big, my sister skips almost every meal, how fat i look in every photo

i want to die

i want to feel skinny again

i want to be lighter

i want my bones to poke out

i want to be cold everytime

i want to see the scale go down every morning

i want to feel my stomach crawling so hard

i want to look vulnerable

i want my hair falling more every day

i want to look sick

i want people begging to start eating more

i want to look at the mirror and see

a thin body, a deteriored body, an unhealthy body

i want control

i want success

i want satisfaction

i want to feel worthy

i want my happiness back

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

continuing my train of thought from here. im imagining all the ways they might be moving around each other here:

theres a battle for dominance of course but thats far from the only thing i think for these two at this point thats like, the background chatter, they do the dominance displays in their sleep it’s their relaxing theyre basically just dancing at this point. theyve got a whole entire like

but then in addition to that theres this big looming spectre of H O M E in this scene/between them in general. i think thats gonna influence the way the master looks. and hes very hurt and i dont think he’d try to hide that. i havent watched s12 in a while so im not sure if i agree with what im about to say or if i come back on it next time i rewatch but i think it might be interesting if 13 can See that hes in pain, and she engages with his performance anyway. there are probably so many reasons that would be underneath that decision, like

1) she respects their mutual performance enough to engage only with the script, not with anything else she might be seeing

2) the fact that hes in pain and hes doing this to deal with it is as much proof as him like, returning to his former habits, as the ‘im just evil ive never been good’ that he tries to sell her is.

i had some more points to add to that list but i got distracted and forgot them but im actually very much into this interpretation and im definitely taking this as canon. i like it better than that she just believes his lie. it’s different but similar with what i believe she does with yaz. which fits. but with yaz it’s mean and with the master it’s not. because this is just what they do.

oh! yeah some other things that i think might be going on here: i think if the master’s regeneration was on the colony ship, then it was close to a black hole, then that must have messed with the regeneration and his time sense. and i think the master already has a very like, unconventional squid shape because of the untempered schism and the drums etc and i think the squid shape is tied to the time sensitivity. so the way he looks now to the doctor is different to how missy looked. like, more... injured? and i think the master already looks plenty injured, but like, some new scars or new twists in their tentacles or new like, weird stuff.

like the way the doctor looks at him in that scene is like shes trying to figure him out. and if he looks like, idk, like hes got tentacles that are tied in a knot and hes got a couple more half ones and one thats like all stretched out and doesnt really move anymore. and shes trying to read him and also trying to reconstruct what the fuck happened to him and also he keeps doing all these weird things like hes not Doing The Normal Shapes the way they do it’s like, halfassed

a little bit of this but then he keeps dropping it just to spell out GRIEF GRIEF GRIEF GRIEF and then hes like half doing stuff as if they were back home as if they were 8 years old but then he keeps slipping into doing stuff as if hes locked up and she has the key only to confusedly interrupt himself to be like

like hes having five different conversations with her, in four languages, maybe as three people

and she cant really make sense of it but she gets the basics which are that hes hurt and that hes doing their old script, which she knows, and she respects the game, and theres not much she can do with the rest anyway even if she wanted to disrespect him and their game by acknowledging it, so she just,, says her lines like shes supposed to.

and then the “:D you dont know! youre not in control of those creatures” is like. no of course he isnt hes not in control of anything like if the tentacles are all these senses they use to manipulate stuff, timelines, luck, minds, etc hes sort of useless at the moment. like hes trying to do stuff but hes not being super successful because he has way more brainspace dedicated to just feelings at the moment than any plan

#someone come play with me in this spaaaaace #octopusblogging #dont knw if i make sense i guess i only focused on the master i'll do the doctor another day #or maybe i wont #it's bedtime #im also thinking about like #how the doctor would look when shes sick #to missy

[briggsz]

* LUCY BOYNTON, CIS WOMAN + SHE/HER  | you know DECIMA MARNIE BRIGGS, right? they’re TWENTY-SIX, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, THEIR WHOLE LIFE ON & OFF? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to STARS ARE BLIND by PARIS HILTON like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole MUFFLED SCREAMS INTO SILK PILLOWS, GOING NUMB AFTER ICE BATHS & THE BELLYACHE YOU FEEL COMING IN SECOND PLACE thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is SEPTEMBER 15TH, so they’re a VIRGO, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( b, twenty-two, gmt +3, she/her )

hellur...im back with My second baby . do i hav the brain cells 2 write them both ? no <3 bt im delusional n sexy like tht . here’s her . awful pinterest board ! hmu here or on discord if you’d like to plot . u want to plot bc u love me n decima so much . ( gentle godmod )

the much needed update: basically decima is an ex Olympic athlete tryna change her whole life n become an influencer / youtuber bc it’s all she cn do at the moment. everything she does, she gives her 110% .. doesn’t mean she succeeds either. struggles w the change bc shes so used to Living one way ( waking up @ 4 am , practicing fr 8 hrs a day , etc. ) 

ok so decima’s a new muse n if i fuck up . no i don’t <3 i’ll figure her out eventually pls dnt leave skjdhfj i lit rally tried to write this intro 3 times n i hated it each time so this is probably the Worst out of 3 bt here u go.

inspo: rachel reid (the wilds), kendall roy (succession), astrid sloan (the politician), monica geller (friends), haley keller (crawl), kat baker (spinning out), gracie hart (miss congeniality)

ok mr briggs is an ex pro-athlete n he’s the coach fr the town’s .. sports team i dont know Shit abt sports so u nod n look away 

he n his wife, alana adopted decima when she was 13 . she has two younger siblings . always felt like she cldn’t be the Responsible older sister bc had Hard time adjusting to the briggs household. not because she wasn’t welcomed, no, because she was simply trying Too damn hard. 

her life before briggs fam .. she never talks abt it , involves a deadbeat father n a teenage mother. cried for three hrs when she first called alana mom . 

thought sports would be the best way to connect with her dad, so she joined every sports club until she settled on skating . 

juggling school work n such a consuming , competitive activity .. yea ... she started to crumble under the Pressure bt asking for help ? with Tht much virgo on her chart ? nt happening </3

isolated herself from her friends n peers bc the path 2 glory is lonely .. so she thot .. 

channelled her 110% to figure skating, but something was .. missing. she no longer enjoyed skating, only did it to prove herself she cld, because her family expected her to be perfect . delusional . her parents only wanted her to be happy bt she was blinded by her ambition rip .

21, no uni degree, still skating, she met archie while on nationals.

they hit it off , for a while decima ws doing really good bc it was healthy , she had a life outside her practices , made new friends .. didn’t last for long : ) 

the highs were high n the lows .. they were . bad . ABUSE TW: he was mentally n physically abusive , decima started 2 skate more bc she just needed an escape and didn’t think of breaking up . why wld she ? she loved him , and he loved her .  : /

stayed with archie for almost 3 years, on & off. anyone cld see the damage except her .. until their last argument before The most important night of her life . TW END

she made a rookie mistake and fell while performing a quad toe loop, which was her way to the olympics. 

ironically, the death of her dream opened her eyes. she broke up with archie while she was still at the hospital, recovering from her fall

still skates , got her teaching certificate bt irving isn’t the best place to do so sdhjfk

is an influencer / youtuber . posts abt literally nothing important bt she’s using her pretty priviledge so shush

UhMMmM high pitched screams i cnt write it anymore i hate it here This makes no sense im so sorry

PERSONALITY WISE.....ok so . shes the Opposite of frederica </3 hard 2 please. finicky. aloof bt like ??? actually really warm n welcoming jst doesn’t know how to Present herself the best way .

v disciplined n sometimes feels weird abt it . as a skater it ws necessary bt now she’s only vlogging herself n posting shit online so ?? ?? cant balance idk . omg miss congeniality vibes . 

volatile .. i think .. tries 2 be nice n calm bt one off remark n she loses her shit

extremely ambitious n feels like a failure 99.9% the time rip

wears elaborate make up looks .

my body is my temple <3 vibes .... my ass

the Mom friend

cnt hold her drink . one beer n shes out

has her schedule n doesn’t like being late .

p much in l*ve with the idea of l*ve

uhm

ok so basically shes a mixture of babydoll n the jock if tht makes any sense if it doesnt . same

i hate it here

bt love her song and yes she listens to it regularly . paris follows on her insta . her biggest achievement .

#irvingintro #this ws so hard....fr what.....i did this 2 myself fr what..im asking u.... #le shité im . sorry #bt shes a new muse so . pats myself on the back its ok #abuse tw #injury tw

[yeoldontknow]

15 questions tag game

tagged by @chillingtae to do this fun game. thank you so much bright angel!! <3 i dont think ive ever seen questions like these around here so this is fun <3 

placing this under a cut because it is long !

1. It’s your birthday! What did you ask for and did you receive it?

uhm...im an old bean, and ive found that over time ive stopped asking for things necessarily and request more experiences. time spent with people matters more to me than items - i can pretty much buy things on my own if i want them. if im asking for anything id ask for money to put towards bills or savings or trips. this year i asked my parents for some money to convert to yen before i went to japan, which they gave me. of my friends, i asked if we could go for dinner and drinks which was a lovely evening <3 

2. What was the last song or album you listened to?

song = Kvrt in Space by Fraunhofer Diffraction

album = 1 Billion Views by EXO-SC

3. What is your go to snack when you’re hungry or bored?

depends on my energy level. usually chips and veggies with hummus because i dont have to make anything. my ultimate snack is popcorn so i have to be careful about how often i have it because i could eat an entire trucks worth and not feel the least bit guilty.

4. What is your morning routine?

check emails. text parents. catch up on group chats. roll out of bed and wash up. feed the cat. start the day!

5. What mythical/cryptic creature would you be?

god probably some bog witch or oracle on a mountain

6. How do you interact with someone that you don’t like?

i dont. if they are interacting with me i will be polite but the conversation will be curt and brief. 

7. How do you define a toxic person?

=> habits of  dishonesty, manipulation, gaslighting, deflection of blame for wrong doings  => reacting to criticism or conflict rather than responding => engaging or meddling or perpetuating drama simply for the attention, thrill/endorphins of it => someone who drains your energy in their company rather than heals it => inability to admit they were wrong or let situations go

8. Have you ever been to a concert or fan meet type of event? If not, would you want to?

ive been to a significant amount of concerts in my life. i love love love concert going and, before quarantine, i would list this activity as one of my favorite hobbies. while not a fan meet event, ive wound up meeting and becoming acquainted with a number of musicians - either by running into them on the street, working with them in some capacity, waiting in the queue before doors, waiting after a show, etc. i once was able to attend an after party of a show with @queenoftheimpala because i knew what a tubulum was after a band member jokingly posted about it on twitter and we started talking. one of my all time favourite bands provides ticket packages which are both a ticket to the show and an earlier event in which there are panels with therapists discussing the importance of mental health etc etc. 

regarding kpop, i have not attended a fanmeet and tbh i dont think i would. the set up feels unnatural, and it is not that i want to spend hours talking with an artist but it feels very rushed and not entirely personal enough for me to express what id truly want to say. this is just my opinion. i know many fans have attended these events and have had a wonderful time. i just dont think this would suit my energy as im quite introverted and feeling rushed would make me anxious.

9. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?

oh for sure i do. when you research charts, planets, alignments, etc etc it can be quite revealing when it comes to personality traits, needs, expectations. while i dont believe it accounts for every single thing about a person (upbringing and societal/cultural influence matter too) it can account for the fundamentals. astrology, tarot, and light work have seen me through some extremely difficult situations in my life and reading tarot/charts has helped me understand why i feel what i feel on certain days.

10. If you had only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), what would you want?

i rely so heavily on all my senses that i just...dont even know how to pick this. i think id go with touch. taste is a sense omg you mean i cant taste food anymore? oh god. ok uh yeah im still gonna go with touch. touch helps you feel the connection with other people - hugs, hand holding. sounds have waves which you can feel on the body. the earth has texture. touch is how the body relates spatially to other and to itself so yeah i would go with touch.

11. Who is your favourite celebrity or idol?

non kpop = prince, david bowie, chris corner, maynard james keenan....mostly its women. rihanna or sabrina claudio or rosalia. women in the root of their power and sensuality. they are unforgiving in their bodied expressions and i respect them so much. they are unforgiving in their femininity. 

kpop = chanyeol lmao like....unfailingly so

12. If you could talk to your favourite celebrity(s) for a limited time, what would you tell them?

for the non kpop celebrities = im usually just really supportive of women in the entertainment/arts industries so id love to just hear their stories. in this instance i dont think me saying anything is beneficial, more that its important we listen to their journies and their path to success. they have a lot to teach us. chris corner ive met several times and have had many amazing conversations with so in this instance, id just ask if hes doing well, how california is, how his dogs are, give him the update on my tattoo plans etc. for maynard...idk just cry because hes the celebrity ive loved since i was like 4 years old.

kpop = if i had the chance to talk to chanyeol i think like...id just like to talk about his music, thank him for having women as his video editors/videographers, ask his genre tastes, talk about the sheer amount of retro/nostalgia modes on the recent sc album. maybe talk about astronomy. thank him for his power and remind him to eat and that he doesnt need to master everything. achieving perfection is a pursuit of pain, all he has to achieve is happiness within himself. again, remind him to eat.

13. I’m taking you out on a date and it’s your choice. Where are we going?

oooo lets go to an arcade and for dinner. theres some really great barcades in lower manhattan and on LES we can get some amazing dumplings for really cheap and just have a night of talking, playing games, drinking. then maybe walk along the river before we catch the trains home

14. Do you like sweet or savory foods?

my sweet tooth has a limit so while i do like sweet im more into savory

15. Do you have any band merchandise or merchandise from any of your favourite artists? If so, what?

i have a lot of band tees, signed posters, albums of theirs theyve signed for me. i have some drum sticks given to me by a few bands, signed set lists. one band gave me a turntable slip cover. i have a few first press or numbered records that ive framed. i have some lightsticks from when i attended some kpop shows. ive got lots of stuff!

tagging: @yehet-me-up @queenoftheimpala @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @j-pping @yoonia @jamaisjoons @ditzymax @jiminiethot @blackberrykai @hkynm @ninibears-erigom @readyplayerhobi @imdifferentshadesofpurple @red-exo and anyone else who wants to do this. as always please only do so if youre comfortable <3 

#about me #15 questions tag

[thewritingstar]

I would ask you 1-100 but that's a huge request and doubt you'll do it, UNLESS🤔🙃

UNLESS....

1. Name- Deanna or as everyone knows me, Star

2. Nationality- American

3. Age- 19

4. Birthday- April 5th

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign)- Aries

6. Gender- Female 

7. Sexuality- Bi/Pan (im fine with either)

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself)- Dark brown hair, greenish eyes and body of a 12 year old boy

9. What do you/did you study?- Animation

10. What’s your current job like?/What job would you like to have?- I work in an ice cream shop just as a job but i wanna be an animator or writer for shows

-

11. Your birth order- Youngest of 2

12. How many siblings do you have?- One

13. Do you have good relations with your family?- for the most part

14. How many friends do you have?- I would say I have about 8 close friends and then just a ton of other friends

15. Your relationship status- single but accepting applications 

16. What do you look for in a SO?- usually a pulse and good hair 

17. Do you have a crush?- kinda but also no

18. When did you have your first kiss?- haven't yet :(

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands?- prob meaningful

20. What are your deal breakers?- smoking and drugs and how they treat others

-

21. How was your day?- well i just woke up so i guess good. 

22. Favourite food & drink- Raspberry iced tea/Vanilla Lattes and Chowmein or burgers

23. What position do you sleep in?- either on my side or stomach. Im usually curled up in a ball so prime cuddle position...just saying 

24. What was your last dream about?- I think it was about cake..

25. Your fears- bugs and the overwhelming thought of me being a failure

26. Your dreams- being someone where others can be inspired by 

27. Your goals- to live a life with no regrets (i know typical right?) but also have a successful career. 

28. Any pets?- 2 doggos 

29. What are your hobbies?- drawing, painting, writing, video games, reading 

30. Any cool places in your area?- kinda but you gotta drive to them so not really 

31. What was your last awkward situation?- me stuttering over my words at work

32. What is your last regret?- idk 

33. Language/s you can speak- English and barely any French 

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.)- hell yeah

35. Have any quirks?- i can make a guinea pig noise and can stand on my head for a while. 

36. Your pet peeves- having my neck being touched and mouth breathing

37. Ideal vacation- Any disney park

38. Any scars?- only mentally 

39. What does your last text message say? “Shes being a big girl and taking 5 classes.” 

40. Last 5 things from your search history- im to lazy to check but prob youtube or fics

41. What’s your [device] background?- Phone background is a painting from a museum and my computer is a bunch of Nintendo items

42. What do you daydream about?- being a voice actor or a pirate 

43. Describe your dream home- one that looks like a castle

44. What’s your religion/Your thought about religion- I was raised Catholic but i really dont practice it anymore. I think it its a beautiful thing and alot of good comes from it, however i dont like it when it is used to harm others or defend evil people

45. Your personality type- So i took a test based on the 16 different ones and I am an Advocate type which apparetnly is very rare and less than one percent of the pop are it. https://www.16personalities.com/ heres the link if you wanna take it!

46. The most dangerous thing you’ve done- I used to suck on batteries as a child

47. Are you happy with your current life?- for the most part 

48. Some things you’ve tried in your life- Snorkeling in Hawaii (which i almost died), Crystal Cave tour and donuts which i hate

-

49. What does your wardrobe consist of?- hoodies and graphic tees 

50. Favourite colour to wear?- black

51. How would you describe your style?- comfortable and sometimes i look good 

52. Are you happy with your current looks?- ye

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be?- I want blue hair one day 

54. Any tattoos or piercings?- have my ears and now my nose pierced but i do want tattoos in the future

55. Do you get complimented often?- usually for my hair and i find it happens often 

56. Favourite aesthetic?- Gothic and pastel 

57. A popular trend that you dislike- crop tops 

-

58. Songs you’re currently obsessed with?- “Good Night Moon” by Go Radio

59. Song you normally wouldn’t admit you like.- My Little Pony and Sofia the First songs slap

60. Favourite genre?- pop punk or pop 

61. Favourite artist/band/genre? -Panic!, Taylor Swift

62. Hated popular songs/artists?- I wouldn’t say hate but im not really a fan of Billie Ellish, maybe i need to sit down and really listen but its just not my jam. I think shes a cool person and i love watching her on tv and what she stands for. By i hate Drake and Chris Brown for sure. 

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5- Head above Water, Happy when im sad, Love bug, Casual affair, I believe. So Avril Lavigne, Jonas Brothers and Panic!

64. Can you sing or play any instruments?- Im not the worst singer but im also not fantastic and i can’t play

65. Do you like karaoke?- sometimes

66. Own any albums?- like cds then yes

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations?- not anymore

-

68. Favourite movie/series?- Any disney or pixar 

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc- YA like adventure books 

70. Your fictional crush/es- oh here we go. Juvia and Gray (Fairytail), Catwoman, Danny Phantom, Captain Hook and Regina Mills and Henry (Ouat), Steve (stranger things), Riddler (gotham) and Molly Hooper (Sherlock) and prob more. 

71. Which fictional character is you?- prob a mixture of Momo and Deku from My Hero and Honey from Ouran 

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so. Am I a shipper? ha. aight Gruvia, Nalu, Gajevy, Jerza, Kiribaku, Kacchacko, Todomomo, tododeku, LadyNoir and the love square, Captain Swan, Outlaw Queen, The powerpuff girls and the rowdyruff boys (respected partners) and like five thousand others

73. Favourite greek god?- Hades and Persephone 

74. A legend from where you live that you like- literally nothing from where i live

75. Do you like art? What’s your favourite work or artist?- love art and i cant just pick one

76. Can you share your other social media?- i mean you can follow me on twitter at StarsnShortcake but all thats there is my shitty tweets and interactions with my friends and Voice actors lol

77. Favourite youtubers?- Mikes Mic, Macdoesit, Twamiz, Larri, Dan Howell, Amazing Phil, Jenna Marbles, Shane Dawson, Steph Inc, Garret Watts, and like a ton more

78. Favourite platform?- Tumblr or twitter

79. How much time do you spend on the internet?- too much

80. What video games have you played? Which one’s your favourite?- I love anything Nintendo

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts)- Kingdom Keepers, Suicide Notes and the Selection Series to name a few

82. Do you play board/card games?- Yes

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema?- nope

84. Favourite holiday- thanksgiving for the food

85. Are you into dramas?- ye

-

86. Would you use death note, if you had one?- haha ye

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to?- no racism, sexism, homophobia and legal marriage everywhere. Also that no one goes hungry and everyone has a nice place to live.

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse?- probably 

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be?- a hot demon

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death?- I turn into a goddess

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick?- ooo Celeste is a cool name 

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week?- hmmm Tara Strong 

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo- either the stars or the black heart or the fireworks

94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true- Ive never eaten a chicken nugget, I can do the splits and I have cat

-

95. Cold or hot?- hot

96. Be a hero or be a villain?- oooooo um im a sucker for villains

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme?- Rhyme

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time?- Shape shifting, i could be a plant

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?- bold of you to assume i would wanna live forever

100. ….. or …..?- :0

--

HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS ANON CAUSE IT TOOK FOREVER. 

[survivorhephaestus]

CAPTAIN’S LOG, DAY 31: Immunity Challenge #13

Come on in, y’all.

Well, here you are. The Final Five. It doesn’t get much closer to the end than this - except, of course, the end. But you’ve made it to the finale, so a sincere congratulations from all of us at Goddard who have been cheering you on!

(Or, you know, conspiring against you. Depends on your perspective, I guess.)

Anyway, you’ve only got a couple challenges ahead of you, so let’s not waste any more words. Welcome to your next immunity challenge.

As you all know and have undoubtedly been thinking about these last few days, one of the more important elements of this game is relationships. Your relationships with everyone are essential to your success, but especially with the jurors. If you’re going to win this game, you need to know how to appeal to the people you voted out in a way that will gain their respect. So this challenge is a little warmup for that: we’re going to test how well you’ve gotten to know the people sitting on the other side of that Space Council room.

Below, there are a few quotes which have been pulled from confessionals and PMs with these jurors. Your task is to identify who said which one. Pretty easy, right? Two things though - first, keep in mind that not everyone has the same number of quotes in this list. Some people have one quote, some people have two, maybe someone has three, who knows? One person doesn’t have any at all, and there’s a space at the end of this list for you to guess who that person is.

The second thing you need to know is that within this list is one impostor. That is, there is one quote here that isn’t from a jury member at all. So you’ll also need to identify the impostor.... and will get a bonus point if you figure out who actually said it.

You’ll get one point for each correct answer, and the person who wins will guarantee themself a spot in the final four of this game. So be careful. Think hard. And be quick about it, as I’m not giving you a full day for this challenge. You’re just writing out a list and we’ve gotta get a move on with all these tie votes that have been slowing us down. We’re coming up to the Red Line, folks - the point of no return.

The deadline for this is tonight (March 21) at 9PM EST. If you have any questions, let me know. Your list of quotes / questions to answer is below.

Which juror did not send in any confessionals this season?

Which juror said the following: "But for better or worse, I can't just kick my paranoia to the side when it's convenient. I'll just have to listen to my gut and act if something feels off."

Which juror said the following: "it looks like it's impossible for me to put the vote on [REDACTED] tonight which sucks for my game bc im going to be pissing off someone just who's it going to be??? idk bc we're less than 2 hours from tribal and no one is around!!!!!!"

Which juror said the following: "Dear Listeners, I don't like all this lying i am confused and I feel bad about it"

Which juror said the following: "And this isn't Minkowski vs. Lovelace anymore – now I'm a Cook in a world of Archuletas. Time to win this."

Which juror said the following: "Hopefully we dont swap anytime soon. Wouldn't that throw a WRENCH in the plan? Haha get it, because of the tools? I'm fucking hilarious, please clap."

Which juror said the following: "there’s this one cluster of stars i like that looks like a butt but i don’t think it’s official."

Which juror said the following: "i'm definitely doing too much and i'm going to draw attention to myself but i'm manifesting a [REDACTED] boot... im speaking it into existence and doing the work to make it happen"

Which juror said the following: "Why is it so hard to be a goat? I assumed it would be easy......."

Which juror said the following: "I am adorable, it's true, you just don't get to say that to me."

Which of the above quotes is an impostor?

Where did that quote really come from?

#survivorhephaestus

[woozi]

twt being no.1 on updates, true that <3

not jaebeom speaking abt the mark, hui, btob youngjae fight on youngk's radio show at the time i was typing away abt temper 😭 dhdjdkkdks it's so funny whenever these guys meet someone has to mention abt it and then everyone starts talking. it's like that one story in your friend group you all just can't let go of and some might be like ' how long are you gonna talk abt it?' & next thing you know they're also talking about it at some other time djdjsksk. (but also not him saying he hugged mk to stop him 😔🥺 this was new info to me) i get what you're trying to say hdjdke <33.

oh no alexa pls play you can't sit with us by sunmi. sorry jaebs you are not allowed in our club anymore </3 dhdjdk. RIGHT?? need some silly things to hang on to, to make life interesting jdjdkdkd. naur <///3 i love yugs' smile and laugh sm. i like calling him, chan and seungkwan(even tho sometimes this one makes me want to fight him) ' babu ' (it's a cute term of endearment in my language djjdd idk how to describe it in eng it's something btwn bub and cutie but tbh comparing it to these two makes it a lil bland djdjdk also i feel like sharing this will give away my identity bc i use these a lot in tags 😭😭 also idk if you got the notif but i accidentally liked & then unliked last ask jdjdkd) anyway all 3 of them make me very happy 🥺.

im starting to l*ve u and ur taste too 😿💗. i'll be honest i don't know which bsides have choreo from old albums ( i only know of current ones bc i was there during cbs djdjk 😭) unless someone tells me abt it, i haven't seen it yet but that's what i'm gonna do after sending this. also samee i dont wanna get my hopes up but since jus2 are basically from same agency i am also looking forward to them being in one track in future.

gotsvt chef's kiss 💖. i think ppl just start naming songs they personally dislike, flop these days djjdke. maybe it's just younger ones or just those who listen to title tracks only. there used to be this one song i listened to, of jamie, it was also a feature can't remember name of it, but other than that i haven't listened to her discography much :3. tasteee it's a banger! on the rocks makes me want to miss my non existent s/o djekdkdl. the lyrics </3 the vibe </3. i think drive you home comes close to it for me. after on the rocks that's another one i love with capital L.

dhdjkdjdek that's okay i tend to repeat same phrases too, and trueeeee live performances hit differently.

it's funny how you say i'm keeping up w g7 bc i have no idea where jackson is or what he is doing and until his 2nd bday live i thought mark was in china but then got to know he was in hawaii 😭 i've given up on keeping track what they're doing off stage/irl unless i get update via ig stories through them. keeping up what their releases is still somewhat easy so i'm just doing that. ( i had no idea jaebs was gonna be on eric nam interview but finally today i got the chance to watch it 🥺💚) also!! yes i had didn't know what or how bam's agency is like but everything abt bam's cb i was content with and loved it, i'm impressed.

omg you're chan's age??? i'm a 97 kid :3 and yeah same that's what i thought too, couldn't really find any answer as to why he wasn't :/.

also no worries abt playlist jdjddk i'll slowly start listening to their discography here and there. BUT ALSO i saw there is slchld on the playlist you linked, I LOVE THEIR SONGS OMG. NO IDEA WHO THEY ARE BUT I LOVE LOVE LISTENING TO THEIR SONGS, yerin baek too!! after woozi's cover i started listening to some of her songs <333 also kehlani 💖 i love her voice. thank you for sending in just that too <3

also did you notice seungkwan's ball which got stuck om roof, is still there in same place in 4th ep of in the soop djsjskslsl 😭 i found that so funny for some reason. no one bothered to bring it down.

i hope this week is being kinder to you since last weekend was one rough (else i'm fighting it), stay hydrated <3 yza 💗 goodluck w uni - 🪂

WAIT HE DID????????????? I DIDNT GET TO WATCH THE THING THATS SO FUNNY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

literally how many times have they talked abt this... AND EXACTLY FDJKFJDKFD it's the predebut fight bond for me <3 ok but i can see jaebs hugging mark so he won't beat the living shit out of the other boys that is So Him 😭

YOU LISTEN TO SUNMI... EVERYDAY U GET SEXIER.. WHAT THE HEAL.. it's like that w astrology to me too KJKJDFKJFDKJ i would also fight seungkwan no hesitation tbh it'd end up w me headlocking him im just so sure of it <3 OHHH I THINK IM FAMILIAR W UR NATIVE LANGUAGE THEN??? filo???? im not so sure though fdkjfdjkf and no u don't have to worry abt that i don't check my notifs anymore JKFKJJKDFKJ i just check mentions replies and asks <3 i know i'm missing a lot by doing so but it just takes up too much time for me now :/ and i will pretend to not know even though i have def seen those tags KJFKJDJKFDKJFD

dw i don't know most of them either KJFJKJFDD i just come across things!! i don't even know A Lot of things abt the groups i liked ever since i came back from my kpop hiatus jkfdkjdf i dont feel like i need to know Everything anymore just to like things lol 😭 im hanging on to this frail hope... jus2.. BLEASE....

ik :/ and there's no reasonable.. idk guideline anymore for "successful" songs which is also weird to me.. i think thats bc of streaming and shit :/ JAMIE IS SOOOO GOOOD!! i knew her from her reality competition days and when she eventually debuted in 15&. jype fucking sucks though she could've been v big now :/ the vocal chords on that woman.. incredible. <3 JDSKJDSJ WITH A CAPITAL L!!!! jacks' latest songs are always abt heartache what is he going thru 😭 how did u feel abt LMLY?

i know like.. only 13 words max nowadays so 😭

i think jacks is just always busy so we both cant keep up with him 😭 AND MARK IS IN HAWAII?????????? I THOUGHT HE WAS IN LA WTF 😭 i actually am not keeping up w them as much as i used to i just still have a lot of g7 moots and i follow update blogs so JKFJKDKJFD i still love the boys sm though it's just that im becoming a svtpoppie now 😭😭😭

yes i am <3 he's just a few months older than me!! ALSO WAIT we're the same age as g7 and svt's maknae lines 👁️👄👁️

HELL YEA!!!!!!!!!!!! i actually don't know who they are either i just listen to them too fdjkfjkkjfd lately spotify's doing most of the work for me <3 ALSO U KNOW ABT JIHOON'S COVER... UR SO- ok we're besties 4 life now <3 CAN I JUST SAY... WHAT THE HELL IS UP W JIHOON.. DOING IT IN THE ORIGINAL KEY.. HE HAD NO BUSINESS SHOWING OFF LIKE THAT OK UR TALENTED N IM A LITTLE IN L*VE W U WE GET IT 😭😭😭

AND NO DFKJFDKJJKFDFDKJDF WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY TO ME 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HOW DID U EVEN NOTICE!!! NOW IM GONNA HAVE TO LOOK FOR CLIPS OF IT JKFDFJKDFD 😭 they're truly relaxing they cant even be bothered lmaoooo

looks like it'll be much better!! i'm kind of excited for uni ngl <3 i hope everything's well w u as well and that all ur endeavors are bussin <3 u stay hydrated too and get lots of sleep!! <3

#u are always so sweet what if i cry #and get diabetes #ily <3 #🪂 anon #anon #y.ask #long post

[bingeeatingihatefoodruinedmylife]

I wanna talk about the emptiness inside me that I tired to swallow, the black hole that started my downfall into the pits of eating and mood disorders.

1- My dad isn’t my father.

2-I don’t know if god exists.

These are the two things that are the bane of all the shit in my life.

My parents divorced when I was 3 and my mom and I and my sister lived with my grandparents and my messed up uncle. We were dirt poor (now we’re just poor thank god lol) so my childhood was sad mostly with an absent father who would show up once every many months to abuse me emotionally and give me abandonment issues. I’m sad to say I will never know what it’s like to have a father. He is trying to make it up to me now but only mildly. But I’m 22. His presence and support were needed when I was little and my teachers were telling him that I was very bright and that I should go to a better school, or when people told him I am a great artist and that he should buy me art supplies to hone my skills. He never even got me A4 papers. Now I’m burned out and bitter. I know I had insane potential but he only ever gave me issues and made my life more difficult that surviving was more important that any imaginary “potential”. And now I see people who were not as half as good as I was and they got the support and attention of their parents and have got far in life. My mother was a good parent growing up but the poor woman could not be blamed for not signing me up in fancy schools or drawing classes or whatnot because she was too busy being a single parent of two children working all sorts of jobs because the alimony is worth 250 dollars. What a joke. I’m broke now and I got through 250 in a week if I’m careful. What man would let his children go through poverty when he’s very wealthy. I love him and I understand that he has his issues to but I will never forgive him for what I had to go through. At 15 no one wanted me thats when my ED started. My mom was working in another city and she didn’t want me to live with her anymore. She send me back to my grandparents house where my uncle pulled a butchers knife on me. Who pulls a butchers knife on a 15 year old child ? My aunt instead of defending me gave me a talking to and told me to not tell my mom. I couldn’t believe my ears but I still didn’t tell my mom. Then I moved in with that aunt because I couldn’t stay in that house. But because my mother had body shamed me so much ( I was going through puberty and started to grow the tiniest little boobs and the tiniest little hips) and my other aunt who was pregnant the year before and had to also live with my grandmother as well as her husband and children would shame for whatever I ate. Soon her children followed suit. I was the tiniest boniest little thing but she shamed me nonetheless because food costs money I guess. At that time the only thing I snacked on were apples because I loved them so much and we again we were poor so we didn’t have delicious snacks lying around so apples were the only sweet thing there. How much were 1-3 apples a day gonna cost you ? Cheap yellow apples.. I could never do that to a 13 year old or anyone for that matter .

Does god exist ?

Are you there ?

Do you see me ?

Why am I here ?

Am I doing good ?

Am I not doing good ?

What’s the point of it all ?

If you’re god and you control everything did I do something to you to offend you ? Cause my life feels like a maze and I’m a rat and the maze is also a wheel and I’m just running but I’m still in my place. Im not even moving in the maze. If you wrote my life why isn’t it making any lyrical sense ?

Can you talk to me ?

Can you lend me a hand ?

Because I haven’t felt like the main character in my life for four years now… that’s a lot for someone to not fell like the MC in their OWN life.

So I was raised Muslim and questioning the existence of god in the Muslim community is a big no no. When I was a kid at least I knew for was there and if someone bullied me or did me wrong they were gonna get what’s coming for them sooner or later. But people who have wronged me so badly are thriving so what if this is it ? Also all the injustice in the world the racism sexism sex trafficking slavery that still exists countries that bully other counties and leaders that sell their own people. Sadly third world countries are enough to make you doubt gods existence. I just don’t want to be duped. Also what is up with the homophobia ? Religion to me seems like a big pretext for sick people to beat kill rape others. And this whole holier than thou attitude religious people have is such a peeve. So god, are you there ? Do you love me ? Or are you mad that my faith is weak and this depression and eating disorders are your way of getting back at me ? Because which are you ? Are you living and merciful ? Or are you scary and dishonoring sub-doing ? Because if someone told me they love me and were kind to me but at the same time messed my life behind the scenes and when I confronted them they said oh I’m punishing you because I live you and I want you to get closer to me I would just call them toxic and be like why the f ??? I’m not gonna lie the idea of being an atheist is so tempting but my brain can’t Handle the possibility of a god not existing because whenever I’m in trouble I go inwards and I talk to him god allah the universe u know I just know someone is listening and you wanna tell me it’s just me talking to myself ? Ouch And what is up with everyone assigning god the male gender ? That’s some sexist stuff right there. Also aren’t divinities supposed to transcend the concept of gender and genitalia ?? The religious inside me is freaking out right now over everything I wrote and I’m scared god would strike me or something over what I’m saying but I’m also tempted by the possibility of god just up there like good girl don’t trust what those misogynistic men have twisted religion into. Good on you for using the brain I GAVE you ! And he’s be like of course I love you I love the women I live the in between I love the gays I made you ! Of course I love you even the most broken ones are so beautiful to me. So If you were real how do I not make you mad at me cause I don’t want to piss off the all encompassing all knowing obviously do you see gif how so much of religion is fear. I don’t get it. So how do I do it without going crazy ? Also I’d you didn’t know us Muslims aren’t a allowed to leave the religion then go back etc like I see a lot of white people try everything out there and it’s just like isn’t that what we should do not be raised in a certain religious but like sample everything then decide based on how we are like some exchange program or as simple as a buzzfeed quiz. Because I didn’t choose this so It’s not an informed decision. Wondering if god exists probably stems from my fear of dying. Like everyone on this planet I don’t know when or where that’ll be so I have some unexplained anxieties. So I wonder what’s gonna happen after I bite the dust. It’s like sitting in the waiting room of a dentist you’re scared shitless you see people go in and you try to distract yourself you read some magazines or mess around in your phone etc. You know you avoided the call to the dentists office as much as you could but it was inevitable. Idk what I’m saying. Anyways so I’m sad because I’m unfocused in life school career like the driven overachieved millionaires Elon musks Angelina Jolies and Oprah’s out there so I’m not successful but when I try to focus I can’t because I’m reminded it’s only a few years and blinks until it’s my turn to go into the dentist office so what’s the point and a big majority of my life had been shot so far so..

[shakingsphere]

i just like doing these

1. Do you like who you are? no ive never liked myself very much

2. What would people say about you at your funeral? i don’t know probably something about being smart and honest

3. What would you regret not doing in your life? i dont like thinking about my past but many not trying hard enough the first time i tried to od...

4. What’s the wisest thing you have ever heard someone say? idk 

5. What lessons in life did you learn to hard way? it took me a long time to learn when to quit

6. How often do your biggest worries and fears come true? they dont and i take too much lexapro to worry these days

7. If you had one year left to live, what would you try to achieve? i’d probably just travel

8. Do you serve money or does money serve you? i don’t think about money a lot as long as i can buy nic and coffee

9. Are you afraid of being your true self around others? Why? no. i dont thinks there’s a thing as a ‘true self’ just different versions of yourself

10. What are you grateful for? financial stability and being able to go to college 

11. Have you done anything you are proud of lately? nope! 

12. Have you made any recent acts of kindness? i doubt it!

13. If you knew that you would die tomorrow, what questions would you ask yourself? i’d just go to bed no point asking questions

14. If your biggest fears came true, would it matter in five years from now? yes. 

15. How would you describe yourself? depressed. but funny and smart ig

16. Do you take people’s advice? sometimes but i think taking advice is hard because im so bad at giving the full picture

17. Do you get quickly offended? not really, it depends

18. Do you consider yourself to be a likable person? no lol

19. ‘We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give’ – What does this mean to you? hard work i dont know

20. Are you enriching the lives of others? i doubt it

21. Are you living a meaningful life? no

22. What makes a meaningful life? contributing something and being happy

23. Would you ever give up your life to save another? depends on the person 

24. How much would you be willing to sacrifice for people in poverty? what do you mean? i’d pay higher taxes and stuff

25. If you could live one day over and over again, what would you choose to do? i wouldn’t want that

26. Do you think you are important and worthy of affection and love? no. 

27. What would make you feel more worthy? What do you believe needs to be different about you? i need to stop being sad

28. What brings you down the most often? boredom 

29. Would you rather work less (and do the things you enjoy) and have less money? yes

30. Where do you find peace? sitting by streams

31. What is the most important quality you look for in another person? sense of humor

32. What is your biggest dream in life? to be successful and respected

33. What is your biggest fear? failure

34. How would the world be different if you had never been born? it literally wouldn’t. my parents wouldn’t have daughters i guess. 

35. What life lessons do you wish you knew 10 years ago? i was a child i needed to learn first. 

36. If you could tell your younger self one thing, what would it be? join the track team

37. If your life was a movie, what would the title be? bedtime

38. If your life was a movie, would you enjoy watching it? depends on the director

39. What does success mean to you? i feel like i already answered this

40. If you could be a different person, who would you be? yes

41. What was the best day of your life? Why? i dont know probably my last real date with my ex...

42. What do you look forward to most in life? being happy one day

43. What bad habits do you want to ditch? i want to start keeping my room clean

44. Who do you look up to and why? my mom, shes just really hard working

45. Do you know your partners love language? i dont have a partner

46. Do the people you love most know how much you love them? im sure they do

47. Are you satisfied with the depth of your relationships? yeah

48. What do you owe yourself? sleep

49. Based on your current day-to-day life, what do you expect to achieve in 5 years from now? a MA!

50. Do you say ‘yes’ too often when you really want to say ‘no’? Why? yes, i dont get offered things very often so sometimes i feel like i have to say yes

51. What did you learn yesterday? i think my childhood friend is hot and we like the same anime lmao

52. What do you like about yourself? im smart

53. Would you consider yourself to be a generous person? yeah

54. Do you really listen when people talk to you? yes ofc

55. What is the number one change you need to make in your life this year? ugh i should probably quite vaping but maybe start working out again

56. How many hours per week do you spend on the internet? too many

57. What are your most common negative thoughts? Are they logical? im literally suicidal 

58. Do you think it’s too late to do certain things in your life? Why? yes because they’re things i would have had to start when i was younger but thats not important anymore.

59. If you could be the most influential person in the world, what would you change? redistribute wealth probably 

60. How much time do you spend with your family and friends? like a few hours a week. im not very social

61. Where do you want to be in 5 years from now? the east coast :)

62. Is your life complicated by unnecessary things? everyones life is

63. How can you simplify your life and focus on the most important things to you? bitch idk

64. What stresses you out? my sister

65. What makes life easier? having stuff i have to do

66. How often do you give without expecting anything in return? occasionally 

67. What is your greatest challenge? mental illness luv

68. What is most important to you in life? Are you giving it the time it deserves? idk idk

69. If you could send a message to the world, what would you say in 30 seconds? i dont have anything to say to the world. maybe redistribute the wealth?

70. What do you most regret never telling someone? that i loved them. 

71. When was the last time you tried something new? sucking balls 

72. Are you afraid to speak your own opinion? no

73. Do you give into others too often and feel resentful because of it? no

74. Are you holding onto something that you need to put behind you? probably

75. How often do you let your fears hold you back? i dont

76. Do the people in your life bring the best out of you? some do some don’t

77. How often do you make excuses? i try not to

78. What is one mistake that you will never do again? dating someone who couldn’t really commit then

79. Which is worse, failing or never giving it a shot? never trying

80. What has grown you the most as a person – your challenges and trials or the comfortable yet enjoyable moments in life? the challenges

81. If you could choose to have no more challenges or obstacles in life, would you? no what a pointless life. 

82. In one word, what is standing between you and your biggest goal? time and hard work!

83. How often do you go to bed feeling angry? i dont

84. Would it be wrong to steal in order to feed a starving child? no 

85. If you paid more attention to the sad things in this world, would you feel more conflicted about it? no

86. If we learn from our failures, then why is it so bad to fail? because its a sucky feeling and its embarassing to want something and not be able to get it

87. What could you pay more attention to in life? my cats

88. Why do we think of others the most when they’re no longer around? sad maybe

89. What does it look like to make the most of your life? idk i’ve never tried. maybe ill start a vlog channel on youtube

90. What have you given up on? eating more than 2x a day

91. How many people do you truly love and what are you doing for them? 4 or 5 and idk not worrying them

92. Do you ask enough questions, or are you happy to settle for what you already know? i think asking questions is a good thing

93. What were you doing when you last lost track of time? tiktok

94. Do you think you would be happy if you never had to work again? i think i would be bored

95. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? a baby

96. If you could ask for one wish, what would it be? to be good at math

97. What inspires you in life? idk art

98. What can you not live without the most? water

99. What do you enjoy doing over and over again? sleeping

100. When did you last laugh so much it hurt? i dont know

101. What is stopping you from living the life you want to live? the actual life i live

#personal

[mrcatlion]

vld s5 spoilery thoughts

hey, so, I know that I dont usually post stuff like this on here(or anywhere else), but some of it is future fan comic ideas that I want to test, and I need to vent.

Also, does anyone have any suggestions on when is an ok time to post fanart based on s5? I’m thinking of putting a spoiler warning on top of some works, but I’d still like to know everyones thoughts before I post anything.

but yeah, spoilers under the cut

So, I’m just going to preface this that I still feel an intense emotional reaction to thinking about Sephiroth’s downfall in Final Fantasy VII. Like, I made an AU where Cloud or Zack just give a little bit of emotional support to Sephiroth during his time in the library and because of that, he has a better time dealing with learning about all the bullshit surrounding his linage. And after seeing The Last Jedi and Black Panther, there was this hole in my heart for a good, interesting villain redemption that I was craving.

And its because of this that I dont know if Lotor’s arc in this season was actually good, or if I just really needed him not to be Sephiroth.

THEY LITERALLY HAD A SCENE WITH OUR LONG WHITE HAIRED BOY LOOKING THROUGH AN INFORMATION ARCHIVE THAT HAD LIFE CHANGING INFO ON HIS MOM and they didnt pull a sephiroth

Im still ready for anything to happen to everyone at this point, but I just really like that they could have gone down making him a backstabbing fuckboy. Like when Allura got the Altaen Alchemy magical chosen whatever, Lotor’s response to his own shortcomings was not a tantrum, or even an envious grimace, but instead he was really supportive of her. Like, he was happy for her? and genuine??!?!? And he felt comfortable enough to tell her about some really intense abuse from his racist dictator dad???? AND SHE WAS SUPPORTIVE BACK!?!?!?

I just didnt know I really needed Allura and Lotor being supportive friends. He could backstab her the first episode of season 6 and I’d still be like “at least I got to enjoy it for a few months”

Going backwards tho, It was kind of weird that Haggar/Shiro/Kuro had to sneak Lotor a weapon during the hostage exchange. It was a great fight scene, but I feel like they could have at least given him a communicator to talk to them in case something went wrong? The one solid thing in season 5 is that Galra culture has evolved to include a lot of backstabbing and power play, and its kind of a miracle that they had the real Sam Holt on the ship at all. I was not convinced that Sam was not another hologram until Pidge touched him. That episode had a lot of weird moments(Matt’s hair loop skips in one scene and I died). I also feel like if they gave a little more time at the end to let Zarkon’s death sink in a little bit too. Even just a moment for someone to walk up to him and be like “yeah he’s dead. Kill confirmed” would have helped.

Also I cant stop thinking about how bored Lotor would get in that cell, but the minute he hears Shiro and Allura coming, he’d jump back to his feet like “ive totally just been standing here the whole time”

I also doodled a comic where Allura hugs Lotor and afterwards Lotor attempts to hug everyone else. I dont even care if its in character or not, I’m making it an no one can stop me. I just really need to make it.

I’m really hoping for Lotor to just be able to be a nice leader with Voltron as political and emotional support. The galra get to start working on getting that colonizing out of their system, Lotor gets an actual family. He’s probably going to be usurped next season, but I’m still content imagining that his reaction to the Garrison trio’s antics as a light scolding followed by “invite me next time”

I dont know why, but I find it funny that, the one thing Sam Holt did was suggest hacking the tree virus, and then leaves.

Also, Sam Holt is the best space dad. Coran is best space uncle, but Sam is best Space dad, no contest.

ALSO I CANT GET OVER CORAN’S RANDOM PARASITE GAG WHAT WAS THAT JOKE WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT

I realized watching the Galra fighting each other, and going back to the tree planet, and just the succession of power in the Galra while the blades set up to destroy the Galra elite, Voltron scratches that need for interesting alien species and cultures and variety that I always craved watching Ben 10 as a kid. I wish vld existed when I was a 13 year old so I could get into it when I had time and energy.

Pidge and Hunk were good. Pidge was the best achieving her dreams. Hunk could have done more, but at least he had some good lines and might have joined the ‘lowkey concerned for shiro’ club with Lance and Allura.

Speaking of Lance, I’m kind of unsure how I feel about him? I was really into his arc with self doubt and identity as the team sharp shooter and being a great second in command, and the sword thing kinda felt like a weird side step on all that buildup. On one hand he had genuinely good interactions with Allura, but still devolved into unwarranted jealousy at times? w/e. At least he ended on a good note, but I feel like all the stuff that I was getting into with his character isnt there anymore? idk

Actually, rereading this over, I’m hoping that that ending note with Lance and Shiro kinda hinted that Lance is still a really good second in command, and he can be support for both Keith and Shiro as leaders.

Keith was there. Im kind of disappointed that no one talked about Keiths actions at the end of the last season, but oh well. Kolivan had to have known who he was sending Keith to, right? I cant tell if this is going to be some Marmora loyalty test, if Kolivan was knowingly orchestrating that family reunion, or if he just didnt know. I’m also hoping to see if they touch on how the more Keith learns about his bio family, the more he seems to be drifting away from his adoptive brother...

Also tho, I have no idea what Haggar’s actual motives are, but this season had a lot of cool stuff for her? Like, I think they’re implying that Haggar genuinely wants the best for Lotor, but knows that if he takes the thrown, the weight of Galra empire will destroy him. But she also hasnt told Lotor who she really is for some reason, and I’m still scared that that knowledge could also mess with him, because it sounds like Haggar has also done some traumatic stuff to Lotor despite/because the struggle just to get her zombie baby. It seems like she’s trying to look out for him with project kuron? IDK??? I love Haggar so much but I’m also so scared at what she could do to everyone???? I’m still full force ready for Kuron to be confirmed tho.

Actually, I think that by the end, there were some other fancomic ideas that I have in production that are still technically in character? So as long as I can get them done by July, I should be good!(of course one of them was the Halloween fancomic...)

So yeah, all in all, s5 had a lot of things that I really needed emotionally, however I am  prepared for dreamworks to rip my heart out and smash it into the ground.

#season 5 spoilers #vld season 5 #season 5 #vld s5 #vld s5 spoilers #voltron legendary defender season 5 #voltron legendary defender season 5 spoilers #voltron legendary defender s5 #voltron legendary defender s5 spoilers #if theres any other blacklisted spoilers taggs #let me know and I'll add it to the tags! #I just really needed to get that out of my system

[vitos-ordination-song]

i look back on horror at who i was as a child a lot bc it was bad and i did bad things. but just now i felt kind of fond of little me and proud. bc i did survive and i was smart. 

i got sparked thinking about this bc i was thinking back to being really little. really little, potty training and earliest memories. i was so motivated to be perfect and actually i was good at getting approval. it’s sad bc thats what shaped the bad part of me. at this deep level i learned i did not want to be punished or disapproved of and so i tried to distance myself from my brothers who were punished and compared negatively to me. 

it’s weird bc for so long i felt shame about this. when i was in high school i apologized to my brothers in tears bc theyd often been resentful of me when we were young and i felt guilty for being the baby who got away with things while they were punished. from like age 2 to age maybe 10 i had a p bad superiority complex borne out of this and i just felt like a bad person for it for a long time. plus i didnt fully break out of the mindset til i let go of inferiority/superiority. 

i do see that i was just a child but thats kinda the part that feels like a horror movie. if i think of it being a child who was in situations i was and doing things i did, it feels horrifying. so most of my thinking back on being a kid are kinda disturbing. 

but im kinda getting back in touch w the part of myself i love for the past few years. and you know i survived for a reason. bc i love life and there are parts of me that are strong. what i was thinking about that started all of this was the kind of two-sided split nature of my childhood. what actual form did it take. 

i was absolutely obsessive about adult approval. to a degree that was v annoying to other kids but worked. i didnt necessarily SHOW that i was obsessed w it and i dont think i was even thinking consciously about it. a lot of my memories go in this vein. like i was good at memorizing bc that was asked of me. i could intense laser focus on things and memorize them. i remember frantically memorizing Bible verses at age 5 to win the Bible verse memorizing competition which the adults put on.

all of my strengths i had to be best in and all of my weaknesses were sources of shame i tried to improve on. i took very seriously morality as it was taught to me and made a great show of following it. i was often what you could consider teachers pet and basked in any positive reinforcement thrown my way. 

i was addicted to avoiding punishment and seeking reward. it was a response to my highly behaviorist, authoritarian upbringing. my emotional state in relationship with adults could vary wildly depending on how they treated me. i had a teacher in fourth grade who seemed to dislike and undermine me, like she wanted to break me, and i internalized my idea of her to help shape myself into someone who she would like. and it mostly worked. 

the intensity of my ability to do stuff like this cannot be understated. i learned to totally supress my sensory problems because they made adults annoyed with me and might lead to punishment (also i had to learn to deal with them alone because i had no help). i learned how to present a certain type of acceptable personality. 

i should note that i learned to do this first because of my parents. i learned later, but very young, that i had been easy to potty train. i was often praised both for being intelligent but especially for being “easy” and obidient. the perfect child. as compared to my brothers who wet the bed and had to be punished for it. ive thought for a while that the reason i was so obsessed with being perfect in school is that my mother homeschooled me and my brother for kintergarden. she screamed at him for being stupid. never me. 

being better was being safe. so i became this person who had to follow all the rules and be best at everything and i always wanted to be assured that i had earned love by my behavior. 

but the oddest thing about this is that i was a totally anti-authority, rebellious, and single-minded child. this is how the split in my personality manifested when i was little. any time i sensed any kind of unfairness i was livid. i undermined authority figures behind their backs with other kids. i got around rules however i could. 

the thing was, i think, even when i was very little, was that i knew it was arbitrary. the authority my parents wielded over me and my siblings was incomprehensible. i couldnt follow it. i just knew that they were in charge so they could do what they wanted. they were inconsistent in their punishments and rewards. sometimes they punished you for nothing and sometimes you got away with doing something actually bad. they weren’t fair. they just made it up as they went along. 

i wanted to do what i wanted to do and really i felt no attachment to their judgment on it--at least this side of me didnt. and it goes back just as far, maybe farther, than the feeling of superiority or desire for approval. i think that came more as i became afraid of punishment. 

i have very young memories of defying my parents authority. i just wanted to get away with it. and i almost always did. 

it’s funny because my entire family has always judged me for that but now i look back with some admiration. i mean i was obsessing with how to get away with things in my youngest memories, like age 3. all throughout my childhood i broke the rules to do what i wanted. 

when i was thinking earlier, what came to me was that i always acted to get approval so that i could get away with things and do what i really wanted to do. my main occupation as a child was reading. i was approved of for it. i read so much! i was such a smart little girl! and i could get away with spending all my time away from people in another world, the world of my books. i was quiet and out of the way so i was a good child. and that was one of the main sources of happiness in my childhood, reading, escaping, learning, being somewhere else. 

i waged a warfare against authority quietly. i learned to give them what they want and then do whatever i wanted when they looked away. i did it all the time. the side of me that wanted approval and the one that wanted freedom were somewhat dissociated so i didnt even fully realize i was doing it. 

i think what caused a lot of the change was falling from grace. in my own eyes, in my projected, perceived vision of God, and in the eyes of adults. it happened around age 10 and 11. i went from a very high to very low opinion of myself quickly. i think some of it was having a teacher who simply did not and would not like me, who wanted me to be smaller. she didnt like that i was disorganized and said i had terrible handwriting. she wasnt cruel but she wanted to destroy me for my own good. she constantly put me down and made me a subject of ridicule in class. 

i was also thinking more about Christian morality. the more i learned about God and heard about sin the more i felt i was a sinner. i felt bare and stripped naked, disgusting before God. 

i had humbling experience after humbling experience--internally as i reflected on my behavior and externally though rejection by peers, failure in school, and adult disapproval. it wasnt possible for me to feel approved of, perfect anymore. i could only be bad. 

i kept going further and further with this until i was reborn and rejected all of it. i stopped being Christian and rejected God’s authority. Christianity was the only worldview i had ever been allowed to imagine. once i stopped believing in it i was separate from every person around me. i could not, as a human being, have anyone’s approval. 

i wasnt the golden child at school or at home any more. i started getting in trouble in ways i never would have before because i was more defiant openly. a teacher took my kindle from me in 8th grade and i was punished for stealing it back. i had used to never talk back to my parents but i started to. i was angry. the dynamics in my family shifted and sometimes i was the scapegoat, sometimes i was the one being screamed at, punished, hit the most. me and my siblings played hot potato for it. golden child shifted around too. but i would never be the favorite again. by the time my parents went back to fawning on me, when i was a successful college student, i had no taste for it. 

starting around age 13. i had to become my own internal source of approval, authority, and being. i started to parent myself. i developed an internal parent who nurtured me and i sought out a lot of media about good and loving parents. i cried alone all the time but when i was calming down, i would stroke my own hair and talk to myself. i thought for myself and made up my mind about things. i had my own internal sense of morality that wasnt based on punishment and rewards. that made me a better person. before i had broken any rule with no guilt. i did not consider right and wrong of the action, only likelihood of punishment or reward. when i was giving myself approval, /i/ had to approve of my actions. 

idk ive just rambled a lot but i guess ive been thinking tonight about how ive reacted to environments and how ive changed myself as a person. i have these moments, shorter periods in my life, where something totally shifts in me. but that doesnt make long term effects just go away. i still worry about approval and punishment. i still punish and reward myself. these things are ground into me. inferiority/superiority too. but i saw through them and i have changed. 

[ravnclaw]

Many Questions

Thank you @sakura-studyblr for the tag!

LAST: 

1. Drink: Water

2. Phone call: Dad

3. Text message: Mom

4. Song you listened to: I forgot but it was instrumentals from a movie

5. Time you cried: I don’t remember when, but I remember it was because of stress LOL

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: I’ve never dated and I don’t plan to until im older but you never know

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Never kissed either ahahah

8. Been cheated on: my dog ran to my friend first and i felt pretty cheated that day

9. Lost someone special: luckily i haven’t 

10. Been depressed: idk

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: i have never gotten drunk, and i hope i never will because i don’t like the idea of me doing something out of my control

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 

12. Blue 

13. Purple

14. Grey/Silver

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yes

16. Fallen out of love: I don’t think i have fallen in love?? like i have had crushes but never love

17. Laughed until you cried: yeah

18. Found out someone was talking about you: nope

19. Met someone who changed you: nah

20. Found out who your friends are: i’ve definitely realized who my true friends are

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope

GENERAL: 

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them, some i don’t talk to anymore, but i have met them all irl before at one point (i hope)

23. Do you have any pets: i have a dog & i love him so much

24. Do you want to change your name: yeah i’ve been wanting to change it since i was in elementary!! i would probably just swap my first name (doah) and middle name (esther) since the second one is a more common name.

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i combined my birthday with my friend and we just inv people & ate food 

26. What time did you wake up: 9 AM because i slept late reading ;-;

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: reading

28. Name something you can’t wait for: ok this sounds so lame but im actually pretty excited for school

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 20 minutes ago?

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my appearance

31. What are you listening to right now: silence

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yeppp I have a childhood friend named Tom and the first time we met I bit him (we were like 4 ok don’t judge)

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: when people in your group projects don’t do anything, when people say they have OCD just because they don’t like when things are messy, when people don’t try to listen to you, etc.

34. Most visited websites: google

35. Mole/s: a lot

36. Mark/s: birthmark on my arm and a mini scar on my leg

37. Childhood dream: i wanted to be a teacher but not anymore

38. Hair color: dark brown

39. Long or short hair: short but not too short

40. Do you have a crush on someone: at the moment, no

41. What do you like about yourself: my responsibility and my value of education

42. Piercings: ear piercing

43. Blood type: is it bad that i don’t even know my own blood type

44. Nickname: do, dola, doluh, etc.

45. Relationship status: very single

46. Zodiac: libra

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV show: sherlock, hands down

49. Tattoos: none

50. Right or left hand: right handed

51. Surgery: none

52. Hair dyed in different color: i had highlights in the fifth grade LOL

53. Sport: i don’t play anymore but before i used to play tennis, basketball, and swim

54. no question so i will just 

55. Vacation: i’ve been to korea but i really want to go to japan and london

56. Pair of trainers: i have one if that’s what this means

MORE GENERAL: 

57. Eating: food

58. Drinking: water or tea

59. I’m about to: finish answering these questions

idk where #60 is

61. Waiting for: nothing

62. Want: to be successful, happy, and thankful. i want to help others and be able to support and give back to my parents.

63. Get married: depends. i would ideally want to get married, but if my education or work gets in the way, marriage will have to wait.

64. Career: i want to go into medicine and become a doctor. i’m not completely sure what type of doctor i would like to be, though.

65. Hugs or kisses: i do not enjoy physical touch too much, but i guess hugs

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: if this is talking about an ideal partner, i would say taller

68. Older or younger: older because i tend to enjoy talking to people who are older than me

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: what i would like in a partner: i really don’t care; what i would like for myself: nice stomach i guess

71. Sensitive or loud: sensitivity

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: no

75. Drank hard liquor: nope

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: not permanently lost, but i have had moments where i can’t find them and i’m freaking out but they were on my table the whole time or something

77. Turned someone down: i’ve turned down offers/requests & i’ve turned down bois if that was what this was asking LOL

78. Sex on the first date: nope

79. Broken someone’s heart: i mean i guess if i did if any of the guys that liked me that i didn’t like back actually liked me a lot ?? i hope i never broke someone’s heart though

80. Had your heart broken: nah i’ve never confessed my feelings for someone or anything

81. Been arrested: lol no i hope i never am either

82. Cried when someone died: maybe fictional characters

83. Fallen for a friend: yep but i never told him

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 

84. Yourself: i believe i will get the results that match the amount of work i put in

85. Miracles: i know people in my family that experienced miracles so yes i do believe in them but i do not rely on them

86. Love at first sight: nope

87. Santa Claus: nope i was that one kid who doubted his existence since i was young HAHa, but i faked my belief so i could get gifts

88. Kiss on the first date: nope

OTHER: 

89 is missing too

90. Current best friend name: tbh i don’t really have a best friend but i have many close friends that i would rather not name (is it just me? i consider a best friend only one person)

91. Eye color: same as my hair

92. Favorite movie: hmmmm this is hard. maybe la la land since it was different from many movies i watched or big hero six bc dang it was such an emotional movie

i’ll tag everyone who wants to do this! you can say that i tagged you if you want to answer these !!

#tag game #personal

[ohallows]

tagged by @timbarts (matthias ily ur a #icon)

Rules: answer these 85 statements & tag 20 people

the last:

1. drink: sprite

2. phone call: fed ex i think? and im still mad abt it

3. text message: probably jess

4. song: wonders by the script

5. time you cried: i honestly don’t know? i had some angry tears on wednesday but thats about it. 

have you ever:

6. dated someone twice: nope

7. kissed someone and regretted it: nu-uh

8. been cheated on: i’d have to um have a relationship for that to happen lol

9. lost someone special: yes

10. been depressed: lol probably *finger guns*

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: sadly yes. know your limits kids

favorite colors:

12. maroon

13. blue

14. that nice dark olive green

15: gray/white

16: black

in the last year have you:

17. laughed until you cried: most definitely

18. found out someone was talking about you: uhhh not really?

19. met someone who changed you: YES

20. found out who your friends are: i’ve known since freshman year but yea i guess?

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: ... yes?

22. made friends: yup

23. fallen out of love: would have to be in love first lol

general:

25. what did you do for your last birthday: i went to class and also a meeting and then had ice cream. dont grow up

26. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all but like, 1 i think

27. do you have any pets: i have a chocolate fish

28. what time did you wake up: 11am

29. what were you doing at midnight last night: reading loaded march :’)

30. name something you can’t wait for: turning! 21!

31: what are you listening to right now: quantum immortality by crywolf

32: have you ever talked to a person named tom: yea thats my dads name and my grandpas name

33: something that’s getting on your nerves: people dismissing my role on a team because its ‘less important’ than what they do

34. do you want to change your name: sometimes i guess. but not really

35. hair color: blonde? strawberry blonde? ash blonde? idk

36. long or short hair: long

37. piercings: just ears. i never wear jewelry so

38. tattoos: check back with me in a year or so

39. blood type: ???? fuck lol idk

40. nicknames: bri (and from my grandmother: bri-la, bria hamm, bri-tzi)

41. relationship status: single llmao rip

42. zodiac: libra

43. pronouns: she/her

44. most visited website: tunglr dot hell or twitter

45. right or left handed: right

46. surgeries: yeah - tonsilectomy

47. sports: SOCCER BORN AND BRED

48. favorite tv show: brooklyn 99 and gravity falls

49. vacations: we go to florida every year and we used to go to my cousins cottage on lake ontario but //// we dont do the last one anymore bc they sold it :(

50. sneakers: do vans count

more general:

52. eating: chinese food soon

53. fave drink: soda

54. what you’re up to: doing this (also making edits for tim drake week)

55. waiting for: people to EMAIL ME BACK so i can DO THINGS!

56. want: to be successful

57. get married: yes

58. career: public relations

which is better:

60. hugs or kisses: depends on my mood but por que no los dos

61. lips or eyes: eyes

62. shorter or taller: taller

63. older or younger: older but im not like picky

64. nice arms or stomach: hmmm depends but probably arms

65. hook up or relationship: again depends on the mood but rn relationship

66. troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker

have you ever:

67. kissed a stranger: yea i was drunk and at a pizza place it was great

68. drank hard liquor: hell yes

69. lost glasses/contacts: yup rip

70. turned someone down: would uh.. i would have to be asked out to turn someone down lol 

71. sex on the first date: ppppprobably not

72. broken someone’s heart: very doubtful

73. had your heart broken: not really

74. been arrested: no im a good citizen tbh

75. cried when someone died: obviously?

76. fallen for a friend: kinda but in that middle school way where it was more puppy love than anything else

do you believe in:

77. yourself: hahahahahhahahahahahah good one

78. miracles: im a firm proponent of seeing is believing so at this point no

79. love at first sight: depends i guess

80. santa claus: nope

81. kiss on the first date: sure

82. angels: ...not really lol

other:

83. current best friend’s name(s): jess, joe, lily, darcy, crystal, katie, the entire ecocar team basically, idk, the dickwallynet bc y’all are great...

84. eye color: blue

85. favorite movie: this changes daily but rn treasure planet (harry potter is the eternal favorite tho)

im tagging: @timotydrake @theblackbat @stephoniebrown @bludhavan @bludhavenz and anyone else who just wants to do it feel free

#it was so long omg #also i didn't look to see if matthias tagged y'all so if he did im sorry for taggin g u again rip

[arrowfanderp]

Tag meme

I got tagged by @cry-cats, thanks dude :0 I havent done one of these in years lmao.

I guess i just tag all my mutuals who can be bothered to do this?? or just anyone really.

the last:

1. drink – orange juice 2. phone call – heck idk I haven’t called someone in ages bc anxiety  3. text message – My cousin  4. song you listened to – Some Starbomb stuff 5. time you cried – eh I cant remember that shit. I cry a lot but not recently I guess?? 6. dated someone twice - haha nope fuck that. 7. kissed someone and regretted it – noooo. 8. been cheated on - nah 9. lost someone special – I guess? 10. been depressed – I don’t think so?? 11. gotten drunk and thrown up – I don’t like drinking :0 I haven’t even been tipsy lmao

favourite colours: 12. Sea green 13. Other shades of blue 14. Also faint violet colours idk I like colour combinations more than just one solid colour.

in the last year have you:

15. made new friends - yep  16. fallen out of love - nah 17. laughed until you cried – maybe?? I cry when I do impressions of people so I guess? 18. found out someone was talking about you – yep. 19. met someone who changed you – idk? Probably. 20. found out who your friends are – certainly.  21. kissed someone on your facebook list – lmao nah

general:

22. how many of your fb friends do you know in real life – idk I don’t really go on that cesspool anymore tbh. 23. any pets – One bearded dragon called Hermes. He is my grumpy pancake son. 24. do you want to change your name – Not really. 25. what did you do for your last birthday – Nothing I think. Planning stuff is scary. 26. what time did you wake up- half eight, I was expecting to sleep in longer seeing as tho I fucked up my sleep schedule. 27. what were you doing at midnight last night – reading angsty fanfiction bc im sad. 28. something you can’t wait for – Going to uni 29. when was the last time you saw your mum – an hour ago lol  30. what are you listening to right now - My dad has some music on downstairs does that count. 32. something that is getting on your nerves: my mind I guess?? I hate how anxious I am with adult responsibilities  33. most visited website – Flight rising maybe? This hellsite and youtube too.  34. hair colour – currently a dark blue/black!! Im gonna dye it again soon tho  35. long or short hair – short!! 36. do you have a crush on someone – nah.  37. what do you like about yourself – I guess my drawing skills?? My personality is shit lol 38. piercings – Just my ears. Tattoos>piercings!! 39. blood type – idk who keeps track of that shit  40. nickname – Don’t have one I guess. O me n one of my friends call each other Disney bae just bc we go watch Disney together when we are sad lmao 41. relationship status – single pringle fuck that relationship bullshit thanks  42. zodiac - Capricorn 43. pronouns - she/her 44. favourite tv show – Lucifer, Voltron, I’m might start watching Game of Thrones bc I’m procrastinating doing my work,, 45. tattoos – none but I can get my first one in like less than six months so that’s pretty cool. 46. right or left handed – left. 47. surgery - Nopppe 49. sport – I used to like basketball and archery, but none of that shit anymore. I just have weekly dance classes now. 50. vacation – Went down south for a few days this year :0 51. pair of trainers – not trainers but I have a pair of combat boots and ive worn them to death.

more general: 52. eating – Pizza soon 53. drinking – orange juice still lol 54. im about to -  actually do work I swear 55. waiting for – something worthwhile. 56. want – to go to bed. 57. get married - maybe  58. career – I wanna be an animator or artist idk how successful thatll be.  59. hugs or kisses – hugs pls  60. lips or eyes – eyes :o 61. shorter or taller – relationship wise??? Same height or taller. But im like almost 6 foot so thatll be tricky. 62. older or younger –  idk?? A little older maybe. 63. nice arms or nice stomach – idk?? I care little for either of these. 64. hook up or relationship – idk?? Im a child pls don’t ask 65. troublemaker or hesitant – hecking hesitant pls  66. kissed a stranger - no 67. drank hard liquor - no and I don’t want to currently. 68. lost glasses or contact lenses – I only lost my glasses like once and it was cause I was sat on them. 69. turned someone down – not to someones face I think. I cant remember this shit. 70 - sex on the first date – nope.  71 - broken someones heart – idk? Probably once or twice. 72. had your heart broken – Lmao no. 73. been arrested – Nope. 74. cried when someone died – duh yeah. 75. fallen for a friend – no.

do you believe in: 76. yourself – fuck no 77. miracles - nooo 78. love at first sight - no 79. santa claus - nope 80. kiss on the first date – heck idk 81. angels - nnah

other: 82. current best friends name - 83. eye colour – brownish hazel 84. favourite movie – aaaa I love httyd?? And so many other animated films,, but dragons are my shit.

#long post #tag meme #this was kinda fun tbh