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phil-lesterfan · 4 months

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4, 22, and 61 for the ask game

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

“a pleasure to have in class.” also creative :) i was quiet and bookish and usually writing stories or making comics when we had free time. i used to make my own books and my teachers would read them and put them in our class library ^_^ (copy+pasted from prev ask sorry haha)

22. role model?

amazingphil / phil lester !! i’ve looked up to him ever since i was a kid, like <10 years old. i just think he’s so cool and creative. back when youtube was at its peak, i feel like he and jenna marbles were kind of the brains behind all the “challenges” and “tags” that existed. i also like how he keeps to himself and values his privacy — i have a bad habit of oversharing, but i hold that same value. especially bc in the past i have had a very strong online presence, so it’s good to know what to keep personal and to yourself and what you just… put out there.

and then there’s the fact that he’s driven and gets what he wants; dan jokingly calls him a “sell out”, but it’s like to me if phil wants to do something, it will get done one way or another. and how he went to got his masters for video editing, and also when you can tell he enjoys things. plus, he sticks strongly to his, like… image, which can seem shallow, i know, but when he wanted to keep things more pg, he was so careful about it, and he’s so considerate of his viewers (i’ve made a post abt this in the past, how he reassured the audience he and dan are friends, when i know, if i were a creator, i wouldn’t have even thought abt that fear ppl have).

i know i’m getting parasocial, and phil could be an absolute menace off camera (i’m choosing to ignore what others have said abt him — that he’s really just a decent person 😭), but what he does choose to show, i really respect and admire. also, him coming out and having pride just really makes me happy, especially as a lesbian who has struggled with her sexuality. he makes me feel like things can get better, and seeing gay people older than me be happy and successful is really fulfilling.

61. favourite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

GOD. asking this of a past english and creative writing student is just. cruel.

“dogfish” by mary oliver has inspired my own poetry.

“I wanted / the past to go away, I wanted / to leave it, like another country; […] You don’t want to hear the story / of my life, and anyway / I don’t want to tell it, I want to listen / to the enormous waterfalls of the sun.”

and a certain scene in rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead helped me work through shit about 5 years ago

“… [T]hat isn’t what makes it death. It’s just a man failing to reappear, that’s all — now you see him, now you don’t, that’s the only thing that’s real: here one minute and gone the next and never coming back….”

lastly, and i’m really limiting myself here as i could go on about quotes all day, a quote from the best manga of all time, the cat proposed (化け猫かたって候) by hayane dento

“… Someone, somewhere in this city, is getting ready to take a plunge. Somewhere, a child is crying. Someone has come to a stop, so weighed down that they can’t go any further. I’m holding Kihachi’s hand. He is telling stories again today, stories that may or may not save someone else. And I … am thinking about writing my own story. I’ll start by writing the first letter / of the first word.”

i did not mean for these answers to get so long but one question let me talk about phil (favourite person) while the other let me talk about quotes (i’m in love with writing and language). like. oops but also not really. AUGH. thank u for the ask ^_^ <3

#ask #aq-uatic

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foundthe8wing · 4 years

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Okay, doing this over here because my main tumblr is usually a place for me to vibe and I don’t want all the bullshit tied to that account, but basically: I’m really angry and disappointed with the dndads cast for how they’ve put a lot of the minors in their fanbase in danger. Everything below is a repost from twitter (with permission from the OP, crypticjoy), and I’ll link the thread in a reblog.

Under a cut because it’s long and potentially triggering (content warnings for grooming, sexualizing minors, and sexual assault)

[OP tagged the relevant cast accounts; I added slashes here bc I’m not sure if those same urls exist on tumblr and I don’t want to be randomly tagging people over here]

5:49 PM Sep 5, 2020

“I don’t usually do this, but: the way that the cast of @/dungeonsanddads engages with their audience is actively dangerous to minors, and they need to get it together. (cw for discussion of grooming, sexualizing minors, sexual assault)

First off, there are some iffy jokes and situations in the podcast itself. I’m not going to get into all of it right here, but have a google doc: [doc will also be linked in reblog]

Yes, the kids in #dndads are fictional, but that doesn’t mean this stuff doesn’t affect real kids listening. a. it normalizes talking/joking about kids in that way and b. There’s a lot of inconsistancy and confusion on the lines they draw--

Paeden saying “baby” is weird but Ron sitting in Terry Jr’s lap isn’t? I’m confused. You know who the fuck relies on that type of confusion and unclarity? Fucking predators

And I’m not saying every in-character decision has to be perfectly moral or acceptable, but the way the cast, out of character, discuss what’s weird and what’s not sends a lot of mixed messages. And that’s legitimately dangerous.

So then you take all of this, and you add a patron discord server that lets nsfw discussions run virtually unchecked--you create a fandom space that allows adults to discuss kinks, and porn searches, and just, all this other stuff, with teenagers...

... and it becomes a breeding ground for grooming and abuse.

The creators aren’t responsible for babysitting their fanbase or for how people engage with their content outside of their spaces (though, again, I’d urge them to be very careful about what kind of messages they’re sending)

But they ARE responsible for taking basic steps to keep the spaces that THEY create and engage with safe.

“But the rules for the server say 18+!” The rules say you have to be 18 *or have parental permission.* They also say to keep things PG-13. That’s vastly different than establishing something as an adult-only/nsfw space.

“Minors shouldn’t be joining/listening anyway!” The cast can’t control who listens and neither can I, but there’s a difference between knowing teens are listening to you discuss sex with your adult friends vs facilitating conversations between teens and adults on those topics.

“If people are uncomfortable they can just leave.” First off, this situation isn’t just uncomfortable, it’s unSAFE. Second: fuck that. It’s not on minors to set and maintain boundaries about this stuff; a lot of them literally do not know how

Not because they’re stupid, but because they’re young and inexperienced. It’s the responsibility of adults to set and enforce healthy boundaries around sexual discussions, and this particular group of adults has done a fucking terrible job

(Maybe don’t encourage listeners to DM you about kinks! Maybe especially don’t do that when you’ve communicated, intentionally or not, that making and escalating sexual jokes is a really good way to get a reaction from you guys)

I get that they didn’t expect to have so many young listeners, but to be aware of that fact and make no adjustments whatsoever is irresponsible and it WILL lead to someone getting hurt. Does their “young, thirsty, female” audience only exist to them when they can laugh about it?

And let’s be absolutely 1000% clear: this isn’t an issue they’re unaware of. The stuff I’m talking about is an ongoing problem with how their server is run, but it came to a head with one specific situation very recently:

They released a bonus, patron-exclusive episode about the dads taking the bdsm test. Given the general state of the server, I was worried about where those discussions might lead, so before it dropped, I reached out to @/anthony_burch to express my concern

He told me he raised the issue with @/fwong and Ashley, meaning at least three members of the dndads team were aware of the situation, and decided it didn’t warrant any type of preemptive action on their part

(alternatively, it means Anthony lied, which would be a whole separate issue)

[Image ID: a discord DM conversation from Sep 1, 2020, between a crossed out username and reverendanthony. It reads:

OP: heyyyyy have you guys considered that releasing an episode focused on the bdsm test is almost inevitably going to lead to a bunch of 15 year olds sharing their results in your server because you might want to get ahead of that before someone gets hurt

reverendanthony: oh holy shit, really good idea

OP: thanks, I know it's easy to veer into that territory just because of the nature of your show but I wanted to bring it to your attention because I figured you don't want to create a situation that's like, actively dangerous (and for the record I'm willing to discuss what I think would make it safer but I'm also not going to assume you want/need my input, obviously you can handle it however you see fit)

reverendanthony: No, thank you for bring it up, I really appreciate it -- I just raised the issue with Freddie and Ashley

OP: Good to know, thank you /End ID]

I’m not overreacting. I have seen this shit happen, to my friends and to myself, and watching the dndads cast take absolutely no meaningful action to prevent situations like that from occurring directly under their noses makes me fucking livid

I can guarantee that the #dungeonsanddaddies fanbase includes both predators and survivors of abuse, grooming, etc (including those currently living through it), and I need them to think very, very hard about which group they’re prioritizing.

And I need that choice to be evident through more than just their words, because it doesn’t fucking matter how much you “really appreciate” that I brought up my concerns if you do fuck-all to address them.

It doesn’t matter how many times you say the word “consent” if apparently everyone was okay that “Darryl gets sexually assaulted” was almost a plot point played for laughs.

(His dare from Scam would have been rape, straight up. Just because no one said the word doesn’t mean it wasn’t coercive and gross).

I’d like to think the @/dungeonsanddads cast isn’t intentionally encouraging abuse, but they’re sure as hell enabling it, and they needed to get their shit together ages ago, because they’re not the ones their negligence hurts.”

Quote retweet by OP 6:51 PM Sep 7, 2020

“So, they updated the rules for the patron server, but I want to be really clear that from my perspective, it’s way too little, way too late.

The new rules don’t adequately address the core issues and they certainly don’t absolve the cast of the harm they’ve already caused.

[Tweet includes 2 screenshots: one of a bot asking people to click thumbs up to confirm they’re 18+ (or have a parent’s permission) and agree to the rules, and one that includes two of the rules. It reads:

“This is an 18+ space. Them’s the rules: per Patreon’s policy, you must be 18+ or have parental permission.

Use language as if you’re at your parents dinner table. Don’t get people in trouble because of your SPICY POSTS. Keep conversation polite. NSFW content is not allowed!”]

(and before anyone says I should bring up my concerns privately, a quick refresher on how well that went last time I did it:)

[links back to the “(alternatively, it means Anthony lied . . .)” tweet from the original thread]

So hey, @/fwong, some thoughts:

1.The rules are vague and unclear: what /exactly/ do you mean when you say “NSFW content is not allowed!” when the content of your show itself is so often nsfw? And how are you planning to enforce this?

Does it mean you’ll shut down the MBIC conversation that is literally just kink discussion? I need you to be clear on where the line is, because, again, predators rely on that confusion. Don’t give them a gray area to play in.

For an example of a more clear policy, it’s pretty easy to say, “yep, ‘Henry gets pegged’ sure is a sentence we said on our show and you don’t have to pretend it’s not, but if you’d like to discuss it in any more detail at all, you need to move”

2. Remember how I said I needed to be clear on whether you’re prioritizing survivors or predators? While I doubt it was intentional, the language you’re using here is prioritizing predators.

It’s not “don’t get people in trouble,” it’s “don’t make people uncomfortable.” It’s “we all have a responsibility to make sure this space is safe for everyone, especially the younger members of the community.”

You’re setting people up to be afraid of expressing concerns for fear of “getting people in trouble” or “inciting unnecessary drama.” Even if it’s not what YOU meant, it’s very easy for those words to be manipulated, so +

You absolutely have to be explicitly clear that if someone expresses their discomfort, you’ve got their back. Being safe is more important than being polite.

3. I need every cast member to take responsibility for their own actions. I’ve gotten no indication from any of you that you understand the ways in which the in-show things I brought up were harmful.

Acknowledging that harm is important not just because of the immediate effects of that content, but also because it implicitly sets an example for how similar complaints should be dealt with going forward.

When someone says “hey, I was uncomfortable that you seem fine with the Glennary ship, because she reads as very young to me,” I don’t need a dissertation on how the perception of characters can evolve due to your improvisational nature

I need to hear “oh, I interpreted her differently, but you’re right, we should have been more clear, and I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.” Because your responses to your own mistakes set the tone for any other situations like that going forward.

How comfortable is someone going to be with coming to you, or Ash, or any of the mods about someone making them uncomfortable if they’ve seen that when people call YOU out, they’re argued with and shut down?

Don’t tell people you’ve “made it clear that you won’t go there” when they tell you that you ARE there. Listen to them and do better.

Set the expectation that people will be respected when they raise their concerns. “If you want to come at me you have to bring the heat” is not an appropriate response on a subject that made people genuinely uncomfortable.

In essence: set people up to be supported and protected, not dismissed.

[It’s like a matriosche of tweets over here. This one links to another thread, also by crypticjoy. That thread reads:

A non-comprehensive guide to keeping discord servers safe for minors:

1. Make designated channels for nsfw/18+ discussion. Generally speaking, this is a lot more effective than banning those discussions altogether, because it’s a lot easier to say “hey, can you move this conversation?” than “hey, I need you to stop”

In fandom spaces, it’s usually a good idea to have separate channels for talking about nsfw fiction vs discussing your personal sex lives.

2. Give everyone minor/adult roles; make sure your 18+ channels are locked to people who don’t have an adult role. It’s important that there’s more of a barrier there than just checking a box.

3. NSFW channels shouldn’t necessarily be a free-for-all; be aware of people’s boundaries and respect them (for example, r*pe jokes aren’t funny or okay, even if you’re not making them around kids)

4. Explicitly state in your rules that people should feel free to come to mods if anyone is making them uncomfortable. Actually listen to people and resolve the situation if they do approach you.

5. Make it clear that creepy behavior via DMs or other means is also not tolerated--you can’t control what people do outside your server, but you can make the choice to not allow people like that in your space

6. Make sure mods are on top of things BEFORE people have to say anything; sometimes being a mod means being willing to be the “asshole” who shuts things down before they get out of hand, even if they’re not asked.

Be generally aware of signals that people are uncomfortable or that things are escalating too far, and address those situations sooner rather than later.

*It should be noted that safety involves a lot of components beyond just containing nsfw discussions; this thread just happens to be focused on that one specific element.

oh also! It's a good idea to provide resources on grooming so people know what to look out for [links to some resources; again, this’ll be in the reblog]]

So, @/dungeonsanddads, if you’re interested in anything beyond just having a flimsy excuse you can point to to cover your own ass, I’m gonna need you to try again.

Sorry I can’t be nicer about it, but I’ve given so many benefits of the doubt I could be running a successful charity, and this isn’t an issue I’m willing to drop.

10:02 PM

Thought I was done but actually I've got a few more questions: to what extent were @/HeyBethMay, @/WillBCampos, and @/mattLarnold included in conversations about this issue/the new rules? Is this something your whole team is involved in?

Have you discussed what you're doing on a team and individual basis to keep your fan interactions safe, and are you on the same page about how much it matters? Are you holding each other accountable? Is everyone okay with where this ended up?”

#dungeons and daddies #dndads #cw grooming #cw SA #8wing

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permian-tropos · 6 years

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Ok, my issue with TLJ is the cynical-ness of it. It's written in a way that pokes fun of SW. Like, "all of this is so silly, isn't it. Wink, wink." I don't like how it took the focus off Rey. Ahch-To was filmed from Luke's POV most of the time. I'm not saying TLJ is a bad movie bc it's not! I just felt like I'd been slapped in the face w the fanboy-ness (the ego-ness) of it all. I know you'll break my whole argument down, but maybe I need that.

Can’t help but feel like I’m some kind of TLJ s&m dominatrix now like “this movie made you feel bad and you should be grateful” lmao

TL;DR: As I experienced it, the movie is actually super sappy and in love with the sincerity of Star Wars just like TFA but taking its own route to convey it. instead of TFA, it’s framed to first appeal to and then sway the minds of an imagined cynical audience, and that audience might actually be 12 year olds and if so, that’s as it should be.

A point about the cynical-ness – it’s interesting you’re talking about the poking fun at SW, since the other way people have called it cynical would be in its depiction of failures and loss. To that, I would argue that it only seems especially dark because the end of the story hasn’t come yet. Which… the movie actually addresses in its story, the “hope is like the sun” line is kind of nudging the audience like “hey the heroes are in a bad spot but they’ll win in the end, don’t forget that”.

It would be patronizing but… this movie is meant to be seen by 12 year olds as well as adults so maybe it’s okay that it’s kinda blunt about some things? Star Wars actually draws in a much younger audience than I think other PG-13 level movies do. Hiding all the messages in subtext isn’t fair to them so I think people get tripped up with TLJ thinking that it’s not saying exactly what it seems to be saying, and just communicating that message on a myriad of levels.

Like as someone who has written so many metas about TLJ – a lot of my analysis boils down to “I don’t think the movie is hiding its message very much, it’s kind of all right there, but there’s also a lot of extra layers enhancing it”.

When the movie goes, “this is so silly, isn’t it?” (and also it doesn’t do that nearly as much as I’ve seen in some franchises) I sort of imagine what a 12 year old, having grown up in this cynical age of deconstruction of sincerity, and also being right at that age where you might look at your younger childhood loves and think “so silly”, would take from it. I don’t see them being so hurt or offended. They aren’t nostalgic for the OT yet. Their nostalgia fodder is being formed as these movies are coming out. Actually I remember being 12 and being oversensitive to people bashing sincerity – because all my peers were 100% in love with cynicism and I was well uhhh neurodivergent and at a different stage of emotional development.

Older people have a very different relationship to their childhood, often longing for the simplicity of it, or cherishing the joys. But you have to have some distance to really see that. Many movies for a pre-teen or young teen audience are about reminding them not to be too cynical, while showing an understanding of their sense of cynicism. They’re about telling kids “hey I get it but don’t rush into adulthood too fast”.

The Last Jedi concludes on sincerity, really bluntly. Rose saving Finn is about rejecting the nihilism of “the only way to prove you care about a cause is to die for it” – this isn’t true, and it’s why Holdo’s sacrifice isn’t the same. Holdo is deliberately trying to save the fleet, but the First Order, when you think about it, has cornered the Resistance on Crait whether they blast open the doors right away or besiege them for days. Finn’s sacrifice would actually just delay the inevitable and that’s not worth dying for. And “saving what we love” is this deeply sincere message.

Poe getting to save the Resistance by noticing the vulptices are leading them towards the exit is super sincere, that’s so freaking corny, it’s unreal. Cute animal friends save the day.

Rey and Finn’s reunion is CORN HEAVEN it’s literally every run-into-your-beloved’s-arms scene (actually my first association with it is how the movie Madagascar parodies that trope with the zebra and the lion whose names I am not going to bother to remember). Rey lifting all those rocks is sincere, Luke mocks her earlier for claiming the Force is about that but guess what? It is about that! And it looks awesome and it saves everyone’s lives. Leia telling Rey “we have everything we need” is optimistic. It’s saying they’re not going to wallow in their losses. They will keep moving forward, they will take strength from failure, not despair.

Luke starts off the film thinking heroism is meaningless. He ends the film doing exactly what he said would be absurd – walking out with a laser sword and facing down the First Order. He starts off filmed with this shroud of overcast shadow around him, and ends with his face illuminated by nostalgic callback to the twin suns of Tatooine. Yoda even encourages him to remember his youthful dreams and desire for adventure – stop being such a cynic, Young Skywalker, I know you’re still that boy who stares at the horizon.

And of course, the entire last scene with the slave kids is painfully adoring of Star Wars and its importance to kids. It’s wretchedly corny. I’ve said it elsewhere but the slope of the floor, leading up to a field of stars, actually parallels the slope of the opening crawl. That’s how meta the cinematography went. It went there, it poked that fourth wall. The movie ends with a promise that any little child who loves Star Wars is as special as the saga’s heroes, and that’s actually the most sappy thing in the Whole Entire Saga.

So the movie basically argues with a hypothetically cynical audience. And if it feels weird, like it’s assuming you’re cynical (which is insulting because no, you unironically adore Star Wars, thank u v much)… I suppose maybe give the movie a fair shake and remember its most important audience is 12 year olds, who have all their little quirks and emotional hangups. No matter what this movie means to you, it will never ever compare to the place it will hold in the hearts of its preteen audience. That’s how Star Wars is supposed to be.

I have no idea the consensus on this film from 12 year olds but I really hope they don’t get overwhelmed by 20-somethings pressuring them to hate it.

Side note on “Ahch-To was filmed from Luke’s POV” – I’m pretty sure it’s the opposite?? people ran into this before where they thought the movie was siding with Kylo and showing his POV when he’s never the POV. Do people just have it backwards? Please okay I feel weird breaking something so simple down but…. the character that is being stared at a lot by the camera is the Object. The character who you presume to be doing the staring is the Subject and POV. Rey is the subject and Luke is the object. Rey is the subject and Kylo is the object.

The fact that the two leading white men of the movie are almost always Object is, I think, actually a point of confusion, because that’s not how it ever is, but it’s how it is in TLJ. They’re not being favored over Rey, we’re seeing her perception of them, so she’s even closer to the audience than they are. Except for the Luke and Yoda scene, nearly everything from Ahch-To is from Rey’s perspective. She seems invisible because she’s actually omnipresent. It is highly unfamiliar to have a woman seem invisible for that reason, but this is a thing I’m super confident about.

Rey is POV, as she should be of course, and actually she is more POV than in The Force Awakens because Finn gets that role a lot more and he gets that role when he’s with her. We’re probably actually used to Rey-as-Object despite thinking of her as the protagonist because she’s framed like that in TFA. I’m extremely pleased that Episode 9 will have Finn and Rey in an adventure together, but it wasn’t even that bad to have them apart for one movie because it let us get to know Rey on her own terms.

I could honestly go through the whole sequel trilogy and break down who is POV in what scene and make some kind of infographic lmao would I actually be that extra TM??? who knows

#my post #asks #the last jedi #well I'm kind of honored that you decided you WANTED me to break down your argument lol #hope I did a good job on that

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