#but on the other hand like 90% of that playlist is olivia (as it should be) and I wanna draw jackie too | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

darling-dontforgetme · 4 years

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the whole list

I’m sorry that I took so long, and I’m so boring, but here you go!

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Coffee mugs

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolate bars

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Eww, no to both.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

My mom worked at my elementary school, so I was very much a teacher’s pet.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Plastic cups

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Pastel or boho

7. earbuds or headphones?

Earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

I really want to say tv shows, but I’m awful at finishing them. I still need to watch the last few episodes of Apocalypse. Don’t at me.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Is it weird if I say my cats? It’s weird, I know. They all have different smells, and it’s comforting to be around them when I’m stressed or upset.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Nothing, literally nothing. I was that kid who always had their nose in a book, so you can imagine how awkward I was in p.e.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

A peanut butter and jelly sandwich or pancakes

12. name of your favorite playlist?

The only playlist I listen to is my own. I listen to a lot of country, some musicals, and a handful of older songs.

13. lanyard or key ring?

Lanyard

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Gummy bears

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

The Handmaid’s Tale

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Why sit when you can lay down? I usually sit with my legs crossed.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

My work pair of tennis shoes

18. ideal weather?

WINTER. All the cold.

19. sleeping position?

On my stomach

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Laptop

21. obsession from childhood?

Books. I read so many books as a kid.

22. role model?

I don’t know. My therapist is pretty cool. Sarah Paulson maybe?

23. strange habits?

I eat soup with a fork. I have to put on my right sock and shoe before I can put on the left. I eat pop tarts upside down.

24. favorite crystal?

I don’t know. Rhodochrosites and amethysts are pretty.

25. first song you remember hearing?

Queen of the Silver Dollar

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Stay inside, lol. I play a lot of animal crossing, try to write sometimes. Read.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Also, stay inside- still playing animal crossing and writing or reading.

28. five songs to describe you?

I honestly have no idea.

29. best way to bond with you?

Just hang out and talk with me. I like to stay home, or go on simple dates. I love, love, love aquariums.

30. places that you find sacred?

Churches, cemeteries

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

I’m not very confident in myself, so I tend to stick with t-shirts and shorts or leggings.

32. top five favorite vines?

I do not watch vine.

33. most used phrase in your phone?

Sorry or what’s for dinner

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

Those lawyer commercials that come on all of the time

35. average time you fall asleep?

Between 11:30 and 2:30

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Probably something with SpongeBob

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Duffel bag

38. lemonade or tea?

Tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Hear me out, what about no lemon?

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

These kids started a metal band, and our administrators thought the student body loved it, so they got to perform a lot.

41. last person you texted?

@grilledcheeseandguavajelly

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

Pants pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap?

Some sort of berry

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Shorts and a t-shirt (wasn’t kidding when I said I only wear shorts and a t-shirt)

47. favorite type of cheese?

American

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

@grilledcheeseandguavajelly says "something unique but sweet but with a lot of depth to it, so like a kiwi or a honeydew or a prickly pear.”

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

Do no harm, but take no shit

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Probably something my sister has said or done

51. current stresses?

So much. I lost my job recently, and there's just a lot going on in my life right now.

52. favorite font?

Can I pick people’s handwriting as my favorite font? I know it’s dumb.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

Well, I should use more lotion

54. what did you learn from your first job?

That the whole world is going to expect you to know things without you actually ever being taught those things

55. favorite fairy tale?

The Little Mermaid?

56. favorite tradition?

Getting cake for birthdays because I love cake

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Me, myself, and I

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Writing, caring for others. I don’t know.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

Don’t fuck up

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

I don’t really have any anime knowledge

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“You want to tell her that there are between two hundred and four hundred billion stars in the Milky Way, but when you look up, you could only ever see, like, twenty five hundred of them. You are one of the ones that no one can see. She is one of the ones that’s even visible in the city.”

-The Moment by T.C. Anderson

Guys, this is my favorite book. I highly recommend checking it out.

62. seven characters you relate to?

Alice Macray, Maura Isles, Temperance Brennan, Regina Mills, Callie Torres, Olivia Benson, Rachel Stevens

63. five songs that would play in your club?

She’s a Rainbow, Free To Be You and Me, Defying Gravity, Goodbye Earl, Queen of the Silver Dollar. My club would not be very cool.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Webkinz

65. any permanent scars?

I cut the side of my thumb off with a pair of scissors once.

66. favorite flower(s)?

Zinnias, Passion flowers, sunflowers

67. good luck charms?

I don’t know that I have any?

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

GRAPE

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

I am so bad at thinking up answers on the spot. I’m sorry I suck at this.

70. left or right handed?

Right handed

71. least favorite pattern?

Any sort of animal pattern

72. worst subject?

Science

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

Peanut butter and chocolate on ritz crackers

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

Depends on the type of pain. Headaches- I usually take it pretty soon, but for other things, I tend to wait.

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I would assume kindergarten or first grade?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

fries

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Flowers

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Neither

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

I no longer have a school ID, but that definitely looked better

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Earth tones

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Fireflies sounds so much better, but I say lightning bugs

82. pc or console?

Console

83. writing or drawing?

Writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Fairy tales

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

I’m going to be single and alone for my entire life

88. your greatest wish?

To fall in love

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My sister

90. luckiest mistake?

I don’t know

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Fairy lights

93. nicknames?

Kat, Kate, Backpack

94. favorite season?

Winter

95. favorite app on your phone?

Tumblr

96. desktop background?

It’s a sunflower drawing

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Maybe 15-20?

98. favorite historical era?

I don’t know

#asks #anon

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musicgoonmail · 4 years

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Out of the Old

In This Edition

In this week's edition, I share thoughts on online music worship, recording video content for Sunday School, influencer culture, HSMTMTS, The Imagineering Story on Disney+, what's new with my book reviews, church social media, and what's coming soon across my creative projects.

I know there's a lot of content to consume these days. It seems like everyone is pushing harder and harder to make an impact during isolation. So as always, thank you for your support and taking the time to read my newsletter.

Walnut Notes: Trusting God with Endora Pan

Walnut Notes: Remembering God in All Things with Jon Ng

Dive In Dig Deep: IGTV Guide

Book Reviews

Playlists

Extended Play

Coming Soon

Weekly Review

Walnut Notes: Trusting God with Endora Pan

Endora Pan is a worship leader and small group leader at our church, FCBC Walnut. We talked bout her exhortation from our online worship service, recording her vocals for video worship, and small groups during the time of COVID-19. This episode was recorded LIVE on IGTV and you can watch the video on YouTube.

Endora and I have been about the music ministry since the first day we met, so it was good to see her on screen during our online worship service. We talked about how she was still raising her hands in a recorded video, and I was honestly very encouraged. I have been trying to grow in my physical expressiveness during musical worship, and maybe COVID-19 is what it's going to take to make me go all-in when we get back to church.

Walnut Notes: Remembering God in All Things with Jon Ng

Jon Ng is a Sunday School teacher at FCBC Walnut. Due to COVID-19, we moved our Sunday School class online. We shared a devotion with our students and I saved it to share with the rest of our church. We recorded LIVE on Zoom and you can watch the video on YouTube. Here's his main point: Keeping God at the forefront of all actions and thoughts is wise, but when we forget about God, everything is worthless.

I think recording these videos works well for my Sunday School class, and I am happy to share them with the rest of the church. I teach the 11th and 12th grade class, but we also invited the 9th and 10th grades to join us when we have the live class session. Over on Facebook, I've been playing with adding captions - and the 10-15 minute video length is perfect for me to get the job done.

Dive In Dig Deep: IGTV Guide

I have been recording unboxing videos of the books I receive to review over on Instagram. I wanted an easy way to keep track of them, so I created an IGTV Guide. I group my episodes into different seasons, and they are rather arbitrary, but in my mind they are based off of the waves of books that I get in a certain time period.

What I hope to do is introduce more video content. Of course I still plan to be book-based. But experimenting with live interviews and sharing some music on my stories has seemed to work well. In my feeds, it seems like the LIVE trend is starting to wind down. But I still see more and more people - and Christian ministries for that matter - trying to make an impact. This Twitter thread from NYT Styles reporter Taylor Lorenz has some great insights into what's currently going on in influencer culture.

Book Reviews

This week I reviewed two sets of books from The Good Book Company. These books read like a commentary but feel like a devotional. Check out my reviews of Luke 1-12 For You by Mike McKinley, Luke 12-24 For You by Mike McKinley, John 1-12 For You by Josh Moody, and John 13-21 For You by Josh Moody.

Reading has been difficult for me during quarantine, so this week I made it my goal to read and review one book per day. They were shorter books, so I made sure to pick them up instead of surfing on my phone. Writing reviews came easily sine the books were still fresh in my mind. I should be able to take it easier next week, and I'm looking forward to having a clearer calendar.

Playlists

I kept playing the HSMTMTS soundtrack, and it's been growing on me. There's a lot of filler tracks from the movie, and I think only a few of the tracks can stand on their own outside of the context of the movie - but that's okay. Unlike the original HSM, I don't quite care to revisit the actual film. In this case, the songs will suffice.

MUSICGOON: 10 songs I enjoyed this week.

SVRGNLA: Jess and I love these songs.

ETJ: Music that inspires my band.

DIDD: A crowd-sourced worship playlist.

TGIF: Crowd-sourced for SOLA Network.

This is FCBC Walnut: Sunday setlists.

Extended Play

Speaking of Disney, we watched all episodes of The Imagineering Story on Disney+ and I highly recommend it for any fan of Disneyland. As a child of the 90s, the series started picking up for me at Episode 3 where former CEO Michael Eisner came into the picture. Before we had kids, Jess and I were blessed to go to every Disney Park in the world, so it was nice to revisit them and see the story behind them.

The article that impacted me the most this week was Churches, You Don’t Have to Compete with Disney+ by Vermon Pierre for The Gospel Coalition. As the social media officer for FCBC Walnut, I can give my input, but the pastors are the ones controlling the big pieces of content. Overall, I think we're doing a good job. We need to be wise, adjust for our church context, and be flexible to change. This Twitter thread from DesiringGod's Tony Reinke offers some great advice regarding content strategies for pastors during the COVID-19 crisis. I don't agree with everything, but it's definitely a good place to start.

Throwback: They Do All Their Deeds to be Seen by Others: 4 Resolutions for Creative Christians

Movie: The Imagineering Story

TV: HSMTMTS

Article: Churches, You Don’t Have to Compete with Disney+ by Vermon Pierre

Book: Gentle and Lowly: The Heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers

Song: Out of the Old by Olivia Rodrigo for HSMTMTS

Coming Soon

I'll be recording my friend Joyce Ho's Sunday School devotion this weekend, and I'm scheduled to give the next one. I'm a bit nervous about being recorded, but if my Sunday School teachers are open to doing it then I should be willing to join them. I've actually been thinking about how I can better pivot to video across different platforms, and after next Sunday I'll be carefully considering my options.

I have book reviews lined up and ready to go for next week. I've been shying away from hosting my own book giveaways, but I'm working with IVP right now to try a partnership for something fun soon.

Weekly Review

SOLA: How Chinese Pastors Developed Their Theology for Suffering / The Sanctifying Grace of Inefficiency / Goodnight Chinatown.

Thank God it’s Friday: The new issue of Themelios / A new hymn from Jane Kang and Heidi Tai / God does the magic in disciplemaking / What sins disqualify a pastor for life?

Book Review: John 13-21 For You by Josh Moody

Book Review: John 1-12 For You by Josh Moody

Book Review: Luke 12-24 For You by Mike McKinley

Book Review: Luke 1-12 For You by Mike McKinley

Dive In Dig Deep: IGTV Guide

Walnut Notes: Trusting God with Endora Pan

Walnut Notes: Remembering God in All Things with Jon Ng

Recommended Reading: The Sanctifying Grace of Inefficiency / Four Ways to Build and Sustain a Healthy Worship Ministry / Goodnight Chinatown / Jeremy Lin on the Coronavirus, Hate, and What he is Doing about It

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veridium · 5 years

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(don’t) take me to church

foreboding chapter title, yes? well I had to continue Isabella’s ( @bitchesofostwick ) trend of titles being songs. and, in the spirit of procrastinating and needing a pick me up, here is part 4 of our ongoing shits-n-giggles dragon age modern au.

on this episode, we follow Liv as she takes a chance on seeing Cassandra again, this time one-on-one. the meet-up has a promising start, but old habits die hard -- especially the fight or flight kind.

part one // part two // part three

She walks the long way to the shop, which is not the ideal option considering her combat boots rub her ankles wrong after she wears them long enough. No matter, because she has her headphones in up to an unhealthy volume. It’s the playlist Ellinor sent her last week of old classics so she stops playing the same five songs on blast.

When she shows up to the little corner hole in the wall shop, there’s no sign of her. The place is cute, cookie-cutter, but cute. Chalkboard menus on the walls and hanging plants in the windows. A backroom people use for meetings or study groups.

Pulling out her phone, she resolves to text Ellinor a proof-of-attendance while she finds the bathroom:

Here at coffee...gonna find out if it was a mistake.

Once again she goes to the mirror to check her face. Ever since she fixed her lipstick from having kissed Ellinor on her worried, sweaty head she’s been paranoid there’s a smudge out of place. All the while she dances in place, having scoped out the bathroom stalls for feet and finding herself conveniently alone.

It’s that one song from that 90’s bad, Garbage, the one she’s been jumping on her bed while singing out loud. The one she can’t resist singing out loud while she’s digging in her shoulder bag for her MAC lipstick.

“....My only comfort is the night gone black I didn't accidentally tell you that I'm only happy when it rains...”

She’s rocking back and forth when she finds the tube. She then looks pouts her mouth in the shape of an “O” while she’s singing along with the chorus of “ooh’s.” It’s then that she looks in the mirror and sees a face, confused but not horrified, standing behind her. Not just any face. Her face. That face that said goodnight and walked away with the manners of a nun. But nuns weren’t supposed to be that hot.

Olivia shrieks, and tosses the lipstick up in the air as she flinches like a frightened woodland animal. Garbage is going off in her ears about only being happy in the rain while she falls back, her combat boots failing her as one of them slips on a piece of tissue and a puddle.

She swings back, but right before she goes full horizontal, two arms hook under hers and break her fall. They do more than that, they damn near throw her in the opposite direction, they’re nothing but muscle. How is that possible? Olivia huffs as the wind is knocked out of her. She doesn’t lament or soak it in -- as quick as she can she shuffles her feet underneath her, turning around in her hold and pushing off her. In the blurriness of it all there is Cassandra, letting her go, hand pulling her white sweater down.

White. Oh, no.

“Shit!” Olivia yanks out her headphones, butt against the porcelain standalone sink. Her eyes can’t decide on whether to lock on Cassandra’s widened ones or the black smudge that is now on her pristine sweater. Like, really pristine. Does she iron her clothes?

“Shit, Cassandra,” Olivia grimaces and grabs for one of the paper towels from the outdated dispenser. “I’m so sorry, I-I didn’t...I didn’t see...shit, I’m so--”

“Olivia,” Cassandra says, calm and decisive as she holds her hands up to chest level, “It’s alright, are you okay?”

“I…” Olivia is preoccupied as she’s watering down the towel. “I’m fine, I was just...I meant to do that…”

“You...what?”

“I meant to...dammit, on your white sweater!” She bites her lip and turns back around, holding the crinkled, wet towel in her hands.

Cassandra blinks as they come to a stare-off, and she looks down at herself. Pulling her shirt out, she lowers her brow but doesn’t scowl like Olivia expects her to.

“Oh...that. It’s alright. I don’t really wear this sweater all that often, anyways. My Uncle bought it as a gift, but it’s...not really my style.”

Olivia holds her breath. “You...you don’t have to explain to make me feel better. I was being ridiculous.”

“You were what? No, that is--”

“I suck, I’m so sorry,” Olivia holds the towel out to her with a stiff arm, keeping her distance.

Cassandra pauses, but takes the towel from her. It’s like a reverse hostage situation: take the towel or else. The mortification level couldn’t be any higher.

“...Thank you?” Cassandra replies, but then grins crookedly. “But I think you need it more than I do.”

“What? Oh, nah,” she chuckles anxiously, “I’m wearing all black, I--” While she’s busy looking at her own outfit, Cassandra comes closer. Effortless but gentle, she reaches and wipes away smudged lipstick on the side of her chin. It’s quick, but just enough for Olivia to freeze like that same scared woodland creature, only now in headlights. A few strokes, and Cassandra steps back, crinkling the towel up and tossing it into the trash.

Olivia releases the breath from her chest, her knuckles having turned white as they clamp on the rim of the sink behind her. She didn’t have to get that close. She didn’t have to stare at her lips while she did that. That was not heterosexual. That was not...wait, shit. She has to say something.

“Uh...thanks.”

“I’m sorry if that was forward. I tend to see things that need to be done and just do them.”

You should do me then.

Olivia shakes her head to free herself of that visceral train of thought before she goes completely off the rails. “Uh, no, it’s fine. I just...I’m still a little dizzy from the...the thing I just did…”

“...the slip?”

“The...yeah, that.”

“That’s okay. Um...how about we go and order? If you haven’t already. I just got in.”

Olivia softens her grip on the sink but doesn’t move. Part of her wants to push her out the way in run. Another part of her wants to slide back onto the sink and pull her in, and really ruin that damn sweater. It’s the prime time of sapphic panic. Ellinor would be laughing her emotionally constipated ass off.

“Order. Yeah, hah,” she breathes, stepping forward. “Right. Let’s do that.”

They make it out the restroom and Olivia manages not to put her other foot in her mouth while they order and find a seat. She orders a chai, and to her surprise, Cassandra orders a mocha. Sweet and frilly when she expected her to go for something rugged and unaffected, like a cup of dark roast black with no cream, no sugar.

“I wanted to thank you again for inviting us to the concert,” Olivia says, holding the mug to her chin with both hands, having settled a bit since her slip. “But then again, maybe the true show were the geeks we were with.”

Cassandra laughs softly and sets her cup down on the dish that came with it. “That’s a good point. I don’t know what’s gotten into him. He won’t stop texting me about her. She really doesn’t give a lot of leeway, does she?”

“Ellinor?” Olivia smirks, “well, let’s just say one year for Halloween, I wanted us to have old timey costumes. I showed up wearing a princess dress, and she showed up in a furry vest and whiskers drawn on.”

Cassandra tilted her head. “What was her costume?”

“Oh...uh, she went as the rat that carried the plague,” Olivia slipped out before pressing the mug to her lips.

That wins a heart chuckle of disbelief, which in turn makes more butterflies flurry in Olivia’s stomach. Not a good sign. Cassandra then leans onto the table with her elbows, her forearms stacked on top of one another. Her body language and confidence is inescapable and slightly infectious.

“Let me guess, your dress was black?”

“Hah! How did you know?” Olivia mocks.

Cassandra blinks softly and grins some more. “Just a hunch.”

Olivia looks up and finds herself lost for words despite the simplicity of the conversation. She tucks her ankle behind the other and puts her cup down, all the while Cassandra is staring at her. It’s not entirely unfamiliar to be the center of ogling attention, but with her it is different. Scary, but different.

She stares back, finally courageous enough. But then, a ‘ding’ goes off. Then another. Then a third. Olivia looks but her phone screen is black. When Cassandra rolls her eyes and sighs, the source of the sound becomes clear. She pulls out her phone from her back pocket and starts scrolling. She frowns and loses all brightness from her face.

“Everything okay?”

She shakes her head and starts typing. “It’s fine, it’s just...my family.”

“Oh, hah, I know how that goes.”

“They’re just...busy, and won’t stop group chatting about every little thing. There’s an event today. I have to run youth group later.”

Shit. Church stuff. Olivia swallows, trying not to look phased. “Oh? Youth group?”

She sends a message and locks her phone, setting it on the table corner. “Yeah. Today’s discussion is supposed to be about chastity and virtue. They want a woman to be able to discuss it with the girls, because, of course,” she says, matter-of-factly, like it’s just everyday stuff.

Olivia nods and rolls her lip. “Yeah, of course. I mean, it makes sense. Someone who can be realistic and approachable...someone who knows. Like, it’s good to hear from someone like that that you don’t have to be perfect.”

“...Yeah. Kinda like that,” Cassandra’s expression goes a bit off for a moment. Olivia, of course, fixates on it with all of her anxiety. Her hold on her mug tightens, but otherwise she keeps her composure.

“Listen,” Cassandra blinks, looking off over Olivia’s shoulder before focusing back in on her. “You should come around sometime. I think you’d find th--”

“What...wait, you mean, go to your Church?”

“Well, yeah. If you want. I know it sounds kind of corny. But you...I mean, from what I know of you, you’re really booksmart, and I remember you saying you take philosophy. I see your parents at our services sometimes. The people are really nice, and I know everyone says that, bu--”

“Hah, Cassandra,” Olivia rubs her own arm, “I said I take political philosophy and marxist theory. I don’t get into theology much. And my parents...they...”

Cassandra shrugs a bit. “I think you’d find the categories are less isolated than you think.”

“I know they aren’t. But I study what I study.”

“And I study what I study. I think you could learn a lot from my side of the tracks, just as--”

Olivia chokes on her mid-gulp mouthful of chai, eyes going wide as she sets down the drink and coughs into her sleeve. Fucking fantastic. All the happy-go-lucky white noise music in her head fades to silence. This was all that she was after: convincing the scary girl who looks all lonely and pretty by herself that she needs the Holy powers that be to rectify her false logics. For as much as she has tried to keep an open mind, the trap doors lock in place quicker than a downtown crosswalk signal.

“Me?” she manages to cough up as her reopens her eyes, finding Cassandra leaning forward and looking concerned. “Me, learn...learn from...”

“Uh, yeah,” Cassandra reaches and offers her a napkin, which she takes quickly, and presses it to her mouth. “You okay?”

Olivia has the sudden desire to shove the napkin in her mouth and shut herself up. Yet, once again, she must answer. Wiping the corners of her painted lips and then her stained shirtsleeve, she tries not to blow steam from her ears.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just breathed wrong. Uh, Cassandra, listen” she smiles joylessly, tossing the napkin to table. “I...I really have enjoyed myself. You’re really nice, but, I’m not...I’m not in need of…” she looks over either shoulder before leaning in, voice going low. “I don’t need saving. Or...or proselytizing. I know I have a reputation, or whatever. My parents try to hang out with yours at whatever swanky, stuffy, pastel clubs they both get into. I’m the kid in the gated neighborhood who didn’t drink the kool-aid. But tying me down in a back room and putting a crucifix to my head while some guy name Trevor plays an acoustic guitar while...wearing acid wash jeans and drinking kombucha is...is not my thing. So, if you’re just trying to save my soul, I got news, you can…” she stutters while she stuffs her lipstick in her bag, along with her wallet that had been resting next to her elbow. “You can...just...not do that, okay?”

She gets up, and Cassandra stands with her, but she does not step in her way.

“Olivia, I didn’t m--”

“No, just...just let me go, I’m late for something. I’m sorry about your sweater,” she blurts out before rushing past her, leaving a half-filled Chai and way too many indulged daydreams behind. Finding the closest door, she escapes with her dignity barley intact, and rushes down the block until she finds a corner store to dive into and hide. Just in case her runaway initiative is followed.

She pulls out her phone again. Texting won’t do. She has to call. She tries, but Ellinor goes to voicemail. Typical. Who calls anymore?

She groans, staring at a store aisle shelf full of breads. Another call attempt, but nothing. Did she actually go to class? Or work? Or do something besides wallowing?

She decides to text again.

Abort mission!!! It was just the Churchie shit. I’m dying. Going home to hide.

With shaking thumbs she types and hits send. It’s still mid afternoon. Crap, had they been there that long? there’s a possibility Ellinor could be meeting up with Cullen already. If her day has gone south, she can at least hope hers stays on the up and up. Giving herself one more minute of precious hiding, she presses herself against the bread shelves, her forehead falling into a soft loaf of sourdough. She lets out a dreadful, aggravated whine, and hugs her arms to herself.

“Ma’am, can I help you?” a store clerk peaks around the corner, looking a mix of both concerned, tired, and scared.

Olivia doesn’t pull away, but simply responds with her voice muffled against the bread plastic. “I’m fine. Just...just...finding little options for gluten free…”

“Oh. Okay.”

#dragon age modern au #adventures of ellinor and olivia #modern au #happiness in a bottle #meant to be corny

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maddie-grove · 6 years

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Bi-Monthly Reading Round-Up: July/August

Playlist

“Mama Tried” by Merle Haggard (The Mars Room)

“Summer of Sam” by Lana del Rey (Sharp Objects)

“Keep Searchin’” by Del Shannon (Those Girls)

“No One Knows” by Dion and the Belmonts (Fortune’s Lady)

“Unpretty” by TLC (90s Bitch)

“Everybody’s Got the Right to Love” by the Supremes (Fool Me Twice)

“Loving Arms” by the Dixie Chicks (East)

“Spare Parts” by Bruce Springsteen (Joe College)

“You Said You Loved Me” from Bloody Blackbeard (Tomorrow and Forever)

“Hot in Herre” by Nelly (Miss Wonderful)

“Growin’ Up” by David Bowie (The Charm School)

“Somebody That I Used to Know” by Gotye (The Beggar Maid)

“Henry Lee” by Georgia Fireflies (Fairest)

Best of the Bi-Month

Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn (2006): Troubled journalist Camille Preaker returns to her claustrophobic Missouri hometown to report on the brutal murders of two teenage girls. The gruesome nature of her assignment is only matched by the cruelty and senselessness that fills her childhood home. Flynn marries a beautifully constructed plot with a wealth of distressingly vivid details, and the result is unforgettable. It’s like if V.C. Andrews had cared about being a more conventionally “good” writer. (No disrespect meant to V.C. Andrews, who didn’t really need to be any better, but she very much did her own thing re: plot and style.) Also, I love Camille a lot.

Worst of the Bi-Month

Fairest by Marissa Meyer (2015): In this prequel to The Lunar Chronicles, Princess Levana leads a luxurious existence on the moon colony ruled by her family, but lives in fear of her sadistic sister and believes she can never be loved because of the terrible scars hidden beneath her glamor. Her desperation for affection and validation eventually turns her into the Evil Moon Queen of the series proper, or something like that. Levana is probably meant to be a lonely, misguided girl who slowly descends into evil due to a barrage of disappointments, or else a conscienceless rapist (yes, rapist) whose suffering renders her somewhat pitiable. I honestly can’t tell, but the result is incoherent, to say the least.

Rest of the Bi-Month

The Charm School by Susan Wiggs (1999): In 1850s Boston, painfully awkward spinster Isadora Peabody decides to leave her stifling, shallow family and work as a navigator/translator on a clipper ship, much to the frustration (at first!) of its raucous captain. This is a rollicking romance with a nice Old Hollywood feel, partly because it owes a lot to Now, Voyager. Isadora’s character development is engaging, and there’s some interesting social commentary about the damaging effects of being forced to perform femininity.

The Beggar Maid by Alice Munro (1977): In this collection of short stories, Rose grows up poor and unshielded from the sordid realities of her mid-century Canadian town. Education and marriage change her life almost beyond recognition, and then she changes it again of her own volition. Munro’s descriptions are so perfect that I barely ever had to make an effort to imagine what anything looked like, and her observations about people are uncomfortably accurate. The stories become a little too sedate in the last quarter of the collection, though.

Joe College by Tom Perrotta (2000): Working-class Yale student Danny, equally at sea with his carelessly rich classmates and hostile townie coworkers, runs into even more trouble during a spring break spent driving his father’s lunch truck. Although the story takes a while to get started, it features several terrific setpieces (notably a dinner hosted by a classmate’s personally charming, politically heartless father) and has a thought-provoking ending.

Fortune’s Lady by Patricia Gaffney (1989): In 1790s England, Cass Merlin’s father is hanged as a Jacobin traitor, leaving her disgraced and practically alone in the world. Recruited/blackmailed into acting as a honeypot for a suspected Jacobin ringleader, she doesn’t expect to fall for Philip Riordan, her fellow spy, but you know how these things go. This is probably my favorite of all the Old School romances I’ve read. It has a fun if overly lurid plot inspired by Notorious, a compelling if occasionally idiot-ball-carrying heroine, and a hero who is only occasionally terrible. On the other hand, the villain is a bisexual who hates Edmund Burke, which (a) is kind of offensive and (b) makes it really hard for me, a bisexual who hates Edmund Burke, to hate him.

The Mars Room by Rachel Kushner (2018): Romy, a single mother and stripper from San Francisco, ends up serving two consecutive life sentences in maximum security prison after killing her stalker. This novel pissed me the fuck off, not because it’s bad, but because it showcases the blatant unfairness of the justice system for indigent defendants and the proudly heartless attitude that many people have towards prisoners. Kushner has a terrific style and makes lots of references to 1960s country music, which I appreciate, but she loses steam about two-thirds into the book.

90s Bitch by Allison Yarrow (2018): Pushing back against the wave of nineties nostalgia, Yarrow details the sexism rampant in the decade’s politics and media, covering topics like the Clarence Thomas sexual harassment controversy, the downfall of Tonya Harding, Dan Quayle’s war on Murphy Brown, and the watered-down feminism of the Spice Girls. Yarrow’s account is entertaining as the subject matter is infuriating, but I wish she’d spent more time establishing how the eighties were any less sexist, because that doesn’t sound quite right.

East by Edith Pattou (2003): Ebba-Rose grows up happy with her large family on their early modern Norwegian farm, until poverty, illness, and the exposure of a big lie threaten to end it all. Then a polar bear shows up at the door and offers to fix everything in return for Rose coming to live with him--an offer that Rose feels compelled to take not just out of desperation, but out of wanderlust. I’m not that familiar with “East of the Sun, West of the Moon,” but this seems to be a fairly straightforward retelling. It’s charming, though, and it really picks up after the candle incident.

Miss Wonderful by Loretta Chase (2004): Threatened with financial consequences if he doesn’t marry an heiress within a year, Napoleonic war veteran Alistair Carsington says “fuck that” and goes into the canal-building business with a friend in order to come up with the necessary cash. However, going into the canal business brings him into contact with the bewitching Mirabel Oldridge, who fucking hates the idea of a canal running through her village. This Regency romance turned out to be a lot sadder than I thought it would be--the hero and heroine spend just as much time dealing with PTSD and grief for a parent, respectively, as they do bantering--and it was a richer story for all of that. The start was pretty slow, though, and I could’ve done without the disdain for the lower class.

Fool Me Twice by Meredith Duran (2014): Desperate for safety, Olivia Holladay cons her way into a housekeeping position at the Duke of Marwick’s house, hoping to find letters that will keep her murderous stalker off her back forever. Then she becomes way too invested in the welfare of the duke, who has become agoraphobic and borderline feral after his wife’s sudden death. This Victorian romance had an even slower start than Miss Wonderful, and I never got a coherent sense of the heroine’s personality; she’s a combination of prim goody-goody and wily con artist, and those two sides never really gel. I did like the conclusion, and Duran’s style is excellent as ever.

Tomorrow and Forever by Maud B. Johnson (1980): Tricked into boarding a bride ship and brutalized by Blackbeard’s pirates, New England girl Marley Lancaster finally finds love with Captain Bates Hagen after they’re set adrift in a dinghy together. They start a new life in Bath, North Carolina, but can it survive the fact that Bates is kind of a dirtbag? I rather enjoyed this Old School romance, partly because of the unusual setting and partly because I just liked the heroine. She’s kind of weak-willed and not very good at solving problems, but she struggles through life anyway and I really rooted for her. Bates, for his part, is...not a rapist. He’s actually the least rapey man in the story, which is how it should be, right? Still, he’s a dirtbag who ditches his common-law wife in a hostile colonial town and seems affronted when she doesn’t stay put. Plus I feel like only half the rapes in the story were narratively necessary.

Those Girls by Chevy Stevens (2015): Three sisters flee their rural Canadian home after the youngest kills their abusive father, only to face more horrible violence from men. Years later, after they’ve started a new life in Vancouver, the past reemerges and, you guessed it, there is more horrible violence. I finished this book and asked myself, “Is a woman made to suffer?” Like, I obviously read a lot about women suffering (see: most of this list), but this whole story is just women suffering, briefly trying to get revenge, and suffering more because of the revenge.

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