#but then my ex sometime last week sent me what was essentially a love letter saying how he's still in love with me and how badly he's messe

[rosymiel]

idk guys my life has turned into a messed up romcom so i haven't even looked at sims 4 i'm sorry

#like the guy that i've been seeing is just so incredibly sweet to me and caring and i've been having a good time with him #but then my ex sometime last week sent me what was essentially a love letter saying how he's still in love with me and how badly he's messe #up by walking away from us #so i'm in a lot of emotional turmoil. alexa play screaming noises from hell #non sims

[ourimpavidheroine]

Okay, @peoniequeen, here are your stories.

How many people do you know moved across the world for love? 

Well, you all know about this one. I met my late wife online in late 1998 on an X-Files message board, we emailed and then called, etc. until she came to the U.S. from Finland in September of 1999 to live with me for a year. After the year was up we relocated to Finland, in part because she could not legally immigrate to the U.S. during that time as a same-sex partner (Finland was a huge fucking pain in the ass about it but eventually they let me immigrate there based on our relationship status) and in part because we thought Finland would be a better place to raise kids due to healthcare, schools, etc. When I arrived in Finland it was the first time I had even been to Europe, never mind the country I was going to live in and the airline accidently left my two dogs in Amsterdam instead of putting them on the plane to Helsinki and I spent my first moments in my new home sobbing about my dogs until the very nice airline lady called for my late wife over the loudspeaker and let her come back and take me in hand (much the way Mako takes Wu in hand, if you must know). (Don’t worry, the airline put us up in a hotel next to the airport and the dogs came on the next flight and came to us there in a taxi the airline made arrangements for. They were completely fine and in fact weren’t sure what the fuss was about.) It was kind of a big culture shock. The end.

Or worked as a college radio DJ? 

I did! I had a show on Tuesday mornings from 4-6 am that nobody listened to but about 10 loyal people. (Kind of like my blog here, come to think about it.) I played a lot of old blues and jazz stuff that I’d grown up listening to. My Dad worked part time as a DJ at a local radio station so I knew how to work all the equipment and such thanks to him. (I also had a two hour slot on Wednesday nights there in high school where I played stuff teenagers wanted to listen to and not the never ending country western that the station owner and manager wanted played 24x7.) Yes, this was in the late 80′s-early 90′s when I was at university so it was all vinyl. I still have a collection of albums that have the gold stamp on them saying they are not for sale, that they are for radio station play only! (Some of them the aforementioned station manager gave me since they were not country and he was basically going to toss them into the trash and some of them were albums that I might have gotten through less altruistic means.)

Or was a makeup assistant to Drag Queens? 

I took a stage makeup course while I was majoring in theater at University and did so well with it that the guy who gave the class asked me to come and assist him at the San Francisco opera while they were essentially painting all of the singers brown in a classic racist move that was pretty well accepted in the 90′s but, thankfully, would be extremely frowned upon now. As I was doing it I struck up a friendship with one of the chorus tenors; it turned out he was a drag queen who sometimes did performances when he wasn’t doing opera. He was a Madonna impersonator (not a very good one, sorry to say) and he wanted me to help him design his makeup for it. So I went to the club he performed at a few times to get a better feel for how drag queens worked and then hung around backstage and ended up doing some designs for some of the other queens. The pay was basically me getting to see their performances for free and getting fed afterwards at whatever was open at 4 am but God it was fun. Also, now I am the most Judgy McJudgerson of ever when it comes to drag makeup on RuPaul’s Drag Race. The end.

Or wrote a letter to their Archbishop when they were twelve and got a personal answer in return? 

I was very put out by the fact that boys could be altar boys but girls got shit (I was Catholic, in case you haven’t guessed) and I was talking about it to my Grandma one time and she told me I should write a letter to the Archbishop and ask him why. Now see, my maternal Grandmother was married to a labor union president (my grandfather was still the president when he died of a heart attack when I was 8) and she was a good old fashioned liberal rabble rouser. Like, she got arrested with nuns protesting nuclear power plants in her muumuus and Birkenstocks, okay? She wrote letters to EVERYONE. So I sat down and very carefully wrote the letter and my Grandma made a few calls and got me the address and we sent the letter. I don’t think my Grandma actually thought I’d get a letter back (it was more of a teaching moment, if that makes sense) but he did send me a letter back! He was very kind, although his answer was the usual Catholic BS. I still have the letter but it is packed away in storage so I very sadly will not be producing it at this juncture in time.

Or drove from Los Angeles to Philadelphia in a 20 year old Volvo? 

My friend from university was going to Grad School at Temple University and her parents didn’t want her to drive the entire way by herself. So I drove with her in an orange 1971 Volvo sedan. (In fact, I drove about 90% of the trip because she didn’t like driving.) The air conditioning fan died as we were driving through the Mojave Desert on the way to Vegas and I realized that if I floored it the cool air would actually move itself and so I floored it all the way through the desert and we are lucky that fucking ancient hulk of Swedish steel did not die and leave us stranded to be baked to death. We stopped in Vegas (which was not as impressive in 1992 as it is today, trust me) and found a guy who could actually fix the fan and spent the night in one of the casino hotels before continuing on. We did stop in Chicago to stay with her grandparents for two weeks (where so many elderly Jews kept responding to my last name with confusion as they assumed I was Jewish that I eventually started to do genealogy and found out that I am, indeed, Jewish on my father’s side) and also we saw the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer film in Des Moines and went to a cowboy bar in Cheyenne (I learned how to line dance and my friend got completely trashed and I had to practically carry her back to the hotel) and many other adventures until we finally arrived in Philly and her parents flew me back to California. It was a great road trip and short of the reeeaaaally sketchy and filthy motel room in Salt Lake City that had both a half-empty Chinese takeout box and a soiled condom under the bed we had a grand time.

Or was part of a thruple? 

I have been part of two thruples. Well. Sort of. One thruple and one wanna be thruple. The first one, with my first husband and my girlfriend was a huge mistake from the get-go. (Oh god, she was so hot and the sex was so fucking good but she was really an awful person and my ex kept trying to control the entire thing and basically forced her into living with us instead of being just my girlfriend with benefits and the entire thing blew up and while it wasn’t the reason why I divorced him it didn’t help either.) The second one was with my late wife and our mutual boyfriend and it worked very well but he had a little boy from a former relationship and his son got very ill and died and he didn’t handle it at all and he disappeared out of our lives. It’s been 20 years, give or take, since I’ve talked to him. He asked us to no longer contact him and I’ve always respected that. And before you ask, he knows where I live and my email address is the same as it was all those years ago. If he wanted to find me it would be very easy for him to do so. He clearly doesn’t and I respect that. I wish him love and peace, wherever he is. I miss him still.

Or beat up the drunk lady in the hallway to get back a little girl’s keys?

Ah, I’ll tell this one tomorrow.

#impavid storytime #long post #do you guys really find these interesting? #I'm not fishing for compliments #I honestly never think of myself as being that exciting

[szopenhauer]

What was your last dream about? pamiętam tylko tyle, że M. powinna uważać na jej byłego

Would you like to build/design your own house? yes

Do you have a cherished childhood teddy bear? it’s not really a teddy but yeah

Are you psychic in any way? it seems

Are you a good dancer? meh

Are you a good singer? nooo

Are you a good cook? not the worst

Are you a good artist? maybe

Are you a good listener? try to be 

Are you a good public speaker? but don’t like to 

Are you a good babysitter? might be but hate that

Are you a good dresser? have my own style

Are you a good comedian? I’m funny :P

Are you a good cleaner? not good enough

Are you a good actor? I am

Are you a good writer? just like to write

Do you ever get chills & goosebumps when you listen to music? tell me about it...

What was the last song that had that effect on you? not sure which was last

Do you know what any of your siblings did over the weekend? I don’t care

Was the last book you read a hardback or paperback? paperback

What was the last thing you required the use of a spoon for? I was eating breakfast

The last time you ate something, was it in a bowl or on a plate? neither XD

Can you recall the last time you held hands with someone? I can

What was the last thing that made your heart melt? hmm...

Can you recall the last time you visited a bookshop? not the exact day but yep

Did you purchase anything? I don’t think so

Have you been wearing homemade masks or store-bought ones? both

Do you call yourself stupid a lot? sometimes

Are you listening to music right now? not rn

What is your newest favorite website? aliexpress?

Do you have a headache right now? had before today

What month is your birthday, and what month would u change it to if you could?  February and would like June, July or August that’s why I will spend my name day during summer instead of spring with my sister

Have you ever had to use an epi pen? not yet

Do you know the names of 3 of your neighbors? (list if you can): personal

What was the last grocery store you shopped at?

Do memories from your past come back to haunt you ? frequently

Have you ever seen an angel? or a ghost

Have you ever seen a demon? that time in a mirror?...

What color was the last sweatshirt you wore? grey

What was the last act of creativity you displayed? Vinnie’s tiny bird next to her signature?

Do you ever find yourself just writing/typing out your feelings? my tumblr is full of this shit

Whose house were you at last, besides your own? my current partner’s

Do you like your teeth? not really

Does piano music tend to calm you down? wouldn’t say so

What’s something you need to get done soon? ugh...

Is your best friend awake right now? they are

If I came to your house, could I find any kind of chocolate? ask my mother

Who was the last person to upload a picture with you in it? M.

Do you ever wear sleep masks when you sleep or shower caps when you shower? neither

Don’t tell me lies, so where’s your man? where’s Nat? XD

Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? dad

Has anyone said they love you in the last week? yasss

Have you ever kissed under water? hell no

Have you kissed anyone whose name starts with a M? hahaha

Would you kiss the last person who texted you, on the lips? done and I hopefully will

Camping with a ton of friends or hotel with a few friends? hotel 

Could you go the rest of your life without a cigarette? absolutely

Have you ever wanted something you couldn’t have? like health

How is your boyfriend/girlfriend doing and where are they now? she’s angry, has a flu and she’s working

What was the last topic you read about? DID?

Do you prefer Windows or Mac? Windows

What’s the best amusement park ride you’ve ever been on? I’m not a fan of rides tbh

Would you know how to read a house blueprint? partially?

Do you keep notes on your phone? What sort of things do you write? used to on my old cell

Do you remember much from high school? tought so

Has anyone ever come out to you? yup

What was the last album you listened to in full? Red army choir or Anastasis?

Do you have Disney+? we don’t

Have you ever sent a package or letter to a foreign country? postcards

How many jobs do you have on your resume? 0

Are you comfortable with leaving the house without any makeup on?: I don’t wear makeup

Do you have any expensive hobbies?: if I had money...

What length do you like to keep your nails at?: short

Have you ever felt physical pain in a dream?: but not as much as Nat 

Have you ever had Christmas carolers come to your house and sing for you?: when I was a kid

What’s your favorite Studio Ghibli film?: Porco Rosso?

What did you learn from your last failed relationship?: can we not talk about it...

What’s something on your to-do list that never actually gets done?: I’m a huge procrastinator

Have you ever been really passionate about something but then lost interest? If so, what was it?: collages

What’s the worst thing about being male/female (whichever you are)?: period, being able to get pregnant and have female kinds of cancer etc.

What movie has the best special effects?: I’m into practical special effects more than cgi but... there’s too many to name

When did you last have a vision test?: ages ago 

[ancientbrit]

Natter #3 24th June 2020

So, on  Saturday morning, I took part of my breakfast (yogurt) from our backup  fridge in the garage, but when I put the first spoonful in my mouth I noticed that it was warm. Strange that. So I checked the fridge and found that everything in it was warm. The freezer contents - weren't.This was a disaster as I had been to QFC a couple of days previously buying frozen and fresh foods including four half gallons of milk. Jean had been out the day after for the first time in 12 weeks and part of her haul was more milk and ice cream.I imagine that the excitement of being out again at last and back to her old stamping grounds overcame memory. So here we were rushing around trying to save what we could by rearranging everything in the kitchen fridge and then trying to close the door.The old fridge was possibly down on refrigerant and I was a bit annoyed for a brief moment until I remembered when we bought it. It was when we lived at the 'old house' way back in 1970 and it was already a year old when we got it! My word - 50 years old. I should have remembered as it's color is 'Harvest Gold' which hasn't been seen on store shelves in donkeys ages. I tend not to date things by color though, as modern colors mean little to me - 'Taupe' for instance means less than nothing. My lexicon runs in terms of the spectrum. But forgetting it's date made me think back to those 'Old House days' and what we were about then. Those days and other old days that preceded that time.  My memory of 'then' is perfectly clear  - it seems just like it was yesterday even though I know how long ago it actually was. So many friends and relatives who are no longer around to share those times with, One of the things that have remained constant is our phone number. Of course, then we had an exchange name -  Adams 2, which has now been transmuted to numbers - 232, and I think doing this has lost the feeling of romance that it seemed to have for me. When I was a kid many of our dairy and grocery items were delivered to the door by horse-drawn carts - very few people or businesses had a sufficiently high priority during the war to have a petrol ration. Mum had joined the "Co-op" for convenience and of course, there was the benefit of a bonus payout at year's end. I loved these horses and would meet them outside and feed them apples, carrots and whatever else I had to hand. Still firmly in my mind is the Co-op number I had to recite to the driver when we had milk or groceries delivered - 157376.Being horses they would leave proof of their passage along the road and my Dad would pay me a shilling per bucket full of 'Golden Apples' as my Dad referred to this natural function It seemed like it was too demeaning a job for a full-grown adult  and using his term was sort of distancing himself from the unpleasantness.It used to embarrass me a bit too, but you couldn't argue with the reward. it was all grist to the mill, and it did do the roses a power of good. In 1956, I had been out of the RAF for a year and had also just recently returned home from a  very long sojourn in hospital, and my Dad was persuaded, against his will, to have a phone installed. Phones were not then usual to find in most houses and my Dad's reluctance was based on the very real belief that his company could too easily find him at inconvenient times. I told him that it was an absolute necessity in that day and age and so at last it was installed. Our phone number was Fairlands 4725 and as I said, I remember the old exchanges with affection. Others in our neighborhood were Derwent and Vigilant and my favorite Aunt had the best I always felt - Silverthorn - lovely. The Fairlands exchange was essential to me as when I was discharged from the hospital I had left behind a lovely German nurse with whom I had developed special feelings.When I had become sufficiently fit to allow me to leave the hospital and walk around the grounds, I used to collect any outgoing mail from other patients who were still confined to bed and take it some distance up the road, through the snow to a mailbox. Just to make sure I would be okay, Irmgard, for such was her name, would accompany me and we would find a need to indulge in long hugs and exchange lip locks - just to keep the cold at bay you understand? Shared bodily warmth is a great way to defeat the weather! Later, returning to the hospital, which had been a big old private house standing in its own grounds, we would split up at the circular drive with a last goodnight kiss. Irmgard would go round to the kitchen door and I would go the other way to the front door. Knowing that our companion runs were our secret, I was surprised to find the youngish Matron just inside the door. With a twinkle in her eye, she asked if it was cold out and I acknowledged that it was. She told me that I should be careful that I didn't get chapped lips, but then added that lipstick was a sovereign remedy - and departed with a grin. So much for secrecy! Irmgard's phone exchange name at the hospital was Coombe Wood - not exactly what might be termed 'romantic' but association made it so. Our association was quite intense and a forthcoming proposal, whilst welcomed, was at that time impossible for Irmgard to accept. Her sister was soon to marry, another Englishman and they would be returning to England to live after their honeymoon. She would not leave her parents alone just like that. She had been sent to England for a couple of years to improve her English and was soon to return home to Bad Canstatt, just outside Stuttgart. As I was about to return to my studies we were parted and unlikely to meet again any time soon. So our contacts were limited to letters and very rare and expensive phone calls and so the Canstatt exchange also lives brightly in my memory. Unfortunately, long-distance relations tend to strain circumstances and over time our contacts became less and less,     Sometime later I reached a point where I was able to take a trip to the Continent. I wrote to Irmgard to tell her that at last I was able to come over to see her, not being really sure of my reception as I hadn't written for ages.Within days I had a reply and although she was totally delighted that I was coming she told me that she had become engaged. I couldn't really blame her as I had been very lax, but she wanted me to come and meet her family when I arrived. She was really very good and took me all over the city and ended at her parents' home in the evening to a party for her sister and new husband, just returned from their honeymoon on Lake Constance. It was a really nice evening and I got on very well with her parents, but of course, I didn't like her fiance at all! After all this, although I had been given her brother-in-law's name and address back home I was never able to contact him. I would love to have kept up to know how her life proceeded. I still have her framed portrait photograph she sent me when she had first returned home, inscribed "Zur stehten Erinnerung" Deine Irmgard. I have been occupying some of my evenings on the computer lately sorting and printing out the Natters that Jo & Tom and Janet have been good enough to get to me. As they all seem to have been listed well out of order I am busy trying to see what I have and what might yet still be missing. The job has been compounded by the difficulty I have experienced in opening the Flash Drive. Sometimes it allows me to zip along, opening files, but then will stop and nothing will work. Next day I try again and I am off to the races again. But I am getting there slowly and tonight (Monday) I completed taking off hardcopies, Now I can sort through, putting them in chronological order and see what I shall see. Much more later, but there seems to be nothing before 2012 so I guess that was when I started. As I mentioned last Natter I have been attacking Lily of the Valley and I am almost finished - at least with what was visible. Along the way, I have also removed Sword ferns, Cedar seedlings five feet high and Jasmine. The Jasmine was an insignificant rooted cutting, from where I have no recollection. It had been placed in a pot on the ground and had been overgrown by all sorts of stuff and over the last year had gone nuts. It was to be used at the Plant Sale and now there are five separate plants threatening to strangle you on the approach to the greenhouse so of course, they have to go. The final gap in my deer-proof fencing was completed a week ago but I forgot to mention it to the deer and my hostas have now been browsed off on three separate occasions. As soon as it looks like there might be leaves on Empress Wu that might be reaching terminal size, they disappear and I am beginning to think that I will have to curtail totally growing the items they obviously consider their personal snack bar. 'Doesn't really leave much selection but at least, so far, my cardiocrinums don't feature on their menu. 'Have to be grateful for small mercies I suppose. One good thing has come out of this. My neighbor (ex MG Jill) who has allowed me to use three raised beds to grow veg, has been getting worried that I might fall from the area where the raised beds live - on a raised part of the garden with a six-foot-high rock wall as it's western boundary. She sees me stepping back to admire my work and then bailing out over the edge. So she is having a large bed prepared at the bottom of the wall, which will be enclosed by a deer-proof cage. It will also benefit from the heat held by the rock wall - all sorts of interesting possibilities there. She is a good friend. So next year we might actually be able to eat something we have grown. 'Haven't been able to do that for the last four years now, except for Onions and Garlic! Got started on removing existing plants today and I think it was the hardest day's work I have done for ages.I had to have a nap in the afternoon, but I couldn't tell whether that was because I had two early start days or the sheer grind of lifting heavy plants.You have likely realised that I am just stumbling along here so I will finish and get to bed.

Your fearless and weary leader.Gordon

[gvbejvmesmichaels]

Drabble: Reflections - One Year Later

Title: Reflections - One Year Later Or the update/remix you asked for Rating: R for language Relationships: Gabe/Johnny, past Gabe/the Russian Warnings: None? Summary: A remixed version of Too Old to Text and Reflections. Notes: For you.

January, 2020

This was not a call he wanted to make, but he’d done everything he needed to do. He’d had papers served, and he'd gone back and forth with the lawyers -- nothing worked. And he knew what this was, what this really was. It was a fucking powerplay. He was still pissed that he’d been dumped and was purposely making Gabe’s life more annoying than it needed to be. It should have been easy - one and done. 

All he legally needed was for Gregor Rasputin to sign off on using his likeness. It was a standard contract for artists, and it was designed to protect artists from having their subjects sue for half their commission. He didn’t think that Razz would sue, but Gabe wasn’t willing to chance it, and neither was Sully, his agent. He had a show at the end of February and there were pieces he wanted to show, but he couldn’t if Razz was going to be a dick.

It was with that thought in mind that he settled in his studio and called his ex-lover (boyfriend was never a term he had used for him). The clock said 12am, which meant it was 8am for Razz. Unless the other man was determined to dodge Gabe entirely, this was his best chance to reach the other man. If he refused to sign the papers, he was going to need to rethink the entire theme of his show, and the thing was -- he didn’t want to. He had a vision and he was determined to see it come to life.

“Yashcheritsa!” Razz greeted, sounding far too pleasant for 8 in the morning, and for the fact he was on the phone with his ex. “You’re up late, no? Is Printsessa still keeping you up at odd hours?”

He closed his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose. This was not a game he felt like playing. “Razz.” He scolded, rolling his eyes, even though he knew the other man couldn’t see him. “I’m half-asleep as it is and I don’t have time for this. You know why I’m calling.”

The other man didn’t respond right away. Maybe he was looking for the right words; maybe his English was getting rusty. Gabe didn’t exactly care; all he wanted was to get his answer right from the source - fuck lawyers (‘aren’t you trying to?’ the Georgie voice in his head helpfully supplied). “Yashcheritsa, I don’t like the idea of pictures of me just existing for others to see.”

Gabe scrubbed a hand over his face. “It’s not like that…” He promised. “No one is going to even know that it’s you. It’s not exactly a picture of your face.”

There was a sound of surprise from the other end of the phone. “Gabrelle.” Razz sounded scandalized. “What body part will people be seeing?”

He couldn’t help the snicker that escaped. Sometimes all he could think about was the fact that he was essentially a thirteen year old boy. “Not the body part you’re thinking about.” He frowned as he thought about it for a moment. “Okay, part of the body part you’re thinking about, but not that actual body part.” 

It was quiet again, but this time Gabe knew that Razz was thinking. “This is important to you?” He finally asked.

“Very.”

Razz sighed. “I will sign tonight.” He promised.

The smile that spread across his face was genuine. “Thank you.” He said and he found that he meant it.

February 2020

Gabe paced the length of his bedroom, the dogs laying on the bed watching his movements. He was pretty sure they were waiting to see if they needed to get off the bed and follow him out of the room. Scrubbing a hand over his face, he stopped and stared down at his cell phone. “You can do this. It’s not fucking rocket science. Just stop being a pussy and do it.” He closed his eyes, the phone feeling heavy in his hands. “Fuck. Why is this so hard? It’s a text. It’s just a text.” 

He jumped as his phone went off in his hand. Had he accidentally sent a voice to text? Horrified he stared down at his phone, but it was just an incoming text from The Russian. 

Updated release signed. Sent to Sully.

It was strange to think that part of his show was so reliant on his ex-lover signing particular documents. He didn’t respond to the text message and instead stared down at his left hand or rather at the inside of his hand where there was an ugly gash running up the palm. The stitches had come out the day before, but his hand still looked nasty. Sighing again, he looked back at his cell phone and swiped away from the text from Razz. He scanned through his incoming texts. He’d been pretty shitty at replying to his texts as of late. There had just been so many coming in and he just didn’t want to deal with it.

He scanned through the texts, looking for anything to do other than the thing he’d told himself he was going to do. They were basically the same thing, but from different people.

It’s been awhile since you’ve done a show. Are you nervous? Are you sure you want to do a showing?

It was strange. How long had it been since the last time he showed? It hadn’t been that long, had it? Why was it such a big deal now? Had his show right after the divorce really been that much of a shit show?

Sighing, he scrolled past the texts until he got to the person he was looking for. His finger hovered over the name for a moment before he finally clicked on Jay, and, boy, was it fucking weird seeing his name as something other than Do Not Answer.

Before he could talk himself out of it, he tapped out a message: I have a gallery opening next week, and I’d love it if you came.

“I sound like a fucking fifteen year old girl.” He whined out as he deleted it and tapped out a different message.

My new exhibit is opening at Nik’s gallery next week. Did you want to come?

“God, this is fucking stupid. You’ve known him for like 14 years. Just send him the fucking text.” He deleted the text again, and swore under his breath. “Stop being such a fucking chicken shit.”

Next week my new exhibit opens at Nik’s gallery. Would you like to come to the opening with me?

This time he actually sent the damn text. “I still chickened out, didn’t I?” He asked the dogs. “Shit.” 

To be clear – as my date.

And then because he always seemed to freak out when it came to Johnny, as soon as he sent the text, he threw the phone onto the bed, earning yelps and growls from the dogs as it landed too close to them.

“Sorry, sorry.” He bit his lip, and closed his eyes before tilting his head up towards the ceiling. “You happy, G?” He asked as though the dead could hear him. “I did the thing. I asked my ex-husband out.” His eyes widened. “Shit, I asked my ex-husband out… What the fuck am I doing?”

Friday, February 28, Opening Day of Reflections

7am

“Gabe?” Nik’s voice echoed through the gallery. “I really hope you’re in here and someone didn’t break in.”

Using a creeper, he was laying on the floor of the gallery, installing rods to support one of his pieces.  It was an intricate installation piece and he was terrified that due to the nature of the base, the glass bits were going to weigh down the base, break, shatter all over the floor, and he was going to be a disgrace in the art world.

“I’m in the inner chamber!” He called out. When she had left the night before most of the temporary display walls he’d set up to separate the sections of his show hadn’t been completely installed yet. Now her gallery was one giant maze.

There was no response for a moment, and Gabe figured that she was trying to orient herself. “How do I get there?” She called out in response.

“What room are you in?” The thin rods were weaved inside of the base to blend in so they weren’t noticeable to the viewer. He wasn’t sure how many rods he was going to need, but he figured if he weaved in at least ten, it would be strong enough.

“I think I’m at the circus.”

Gabe groaned. “Yep, I’m changing the lighting in there. I knew the lights were too bright.” He huffed out. “Either walk past the wedding rings or come in through the back and come through the looking glass.”

It was quiet so Gabe figured she was maneuvering through the exhibits and got distracted. He went back to weaving another rod through when suddenly a hand was on his foot, and he startled so badly that he almost broke the damn thing he was trying to fix. “The fuck.” He snapped out as he was rolled out of his piece. “You break it, you buy it. And my shit isn’t cheap.”

Nik just raised an eyebrow at him. “Did you sleep at all last night or were you here the whole time?” She asked, even though he was pretty sure she knew the answer to that. 

“It just needs to be perfect.” He said as he sat up. “All my shows are personal but this one is…”

“A love letter. I know.” She told him, giving his knee a gentle pat. “Go home and sleep. I’ll fix the lighting for you.”

Gabe shook his head. “I need to get that done, and I need to put the hands in this piece and-”

Taking his hands, Nik pulled him to his feet. “I know, Gabe. I’ve seen the footprint you provided.” She said pushing him towards the back. “I have to set up for the cocktail portion of the evening, too. I’m perfectly capable of finishing the things up here. You need to sleep.”

“I still have-”

Nik shook her head. “I’ll call DJ on you.” She threatened. “Or worse. I’ll call Katie and watch her drag you home by your ear.”

Gabe groaned. “And you’ll follow my directions exactly?” And he regretted the question as soon as he saw the look on Nik’s face. “Fine, fine. I’m going, I’m going.”

9:51am

He was lying face down on his bed, George and Gulliver asleep on either side of him while Scully lay on her bed, snoozing away when his phone went off. Still more asleep than awake, he blindly reached for his phone and answered it with a tired, “Uh-llo.”

“Briel? You never responded to my text. What time am I picking you up tonight?” 

Still more asleep than anything else, he let himself drift back towards sleep. He knew that voice so it was okay to fall back asleep.  That was a good voice, a trustworthy voice. “Mmhmm.”

“Let me guess. You were up all night doing finishing touches on your show and you’re just now sleeping.” The other man theorized. He really did know Gabe well.

Gabe snuggled his face deeper into his pillow as he listened to Johnny talk. “Got kicked out.” He slurred. His whole life he’d talked in his sleep, and offered out pure gibberish in response to questions when someone woke him up. Chances were that he wouldn’t even remember this conversation. It wouldn’t be the first time he had a full conversation with Johnny and didn’t remember a single word. It probably also wouldn’t be the last time.

There was a warm laugh. “Briel, are you awake or asleep?” His ex-husband asked him, knowing very well from first hand experience what he was like when he was asleep.

“Yes. The sirens call to me to lull me back to the place of dreams.” Another laugh. “Briel, who are you on the phone with right now?”

“JJM.” He mumbled out, letting sleep wash over him, going back to his habit of referring to people by their initials. He’d done it a lot when he was younger, which was how the kids wound up with their nicknames of CJ and DJ.

There was no response at first. “Who is JJM?” And there was a strange hitch to the other man’s voice.

“Jonathan James-Michaels.” Gabe responded like it was a stupid question.

It was quiet and Gabe was almost fully asleep again before: “What time am I getting you tonight?” He asked tentatively.

“5:30.”

“At your place?”

The phone felt really heavy in his hand. He was going to be non-responsive any minute now.

“Mmhmm. GB wants to see our pretty clothes.”

He never heard Johnny’s response; he was already fully asleep again.

11:15am

Gabe’s arm was lifted and a little warm body slithered underneath before Bella put her head on the same pillow that Gabe was using. His granddaughter usually ran warm, but she was warmer than usual. 

“Old man.” Drew touched his face until his eyes opened and he was actually awake and blinking up at his oldest child. “Old man, I gotta go pick up the shit for tonight. The kid’s running a fever so I’m leaving her with you.” He kept his hand on his face until he was sure that the words made sense to him.

Yawning, Gabe sat up and laid on his back, Bella immediately readjusting and snuggling onto his side for warmth and comfort. “W’a ‘ime issit?” He asked tiredly, an arm wrapping around Bella so she wouldn’t roll off the bed. He had no idea where the dogs wandered off to.

“A little after eleven.” His son told him. “But go back to sleep. You got a couple of hours to sleep yet.” He reassured him before slipping out of the room.

“Family should respect my vampirism.” He mumbled out incoherently.

“I res-ped.” Bella agreed before they both fell back asleep.

4:45pm

“I don’t know what to wear.” Gabe whined as he ransacked through his closet. He was already fully dressed in an outfit that Juliet had both picked out and had pressed for him. The dark slacks would hit the tops of his shoes just right, and the light blue button-up fit just right. He trusted his former stepdaughter’s judgement when it came to clothes, but that didn’t stop his nerves from spiraling out of control.

“Aren’t you already dressed?” Drew asked in complete and total confusion. He and Maxxie were both in his bed with Bella. They’d been dating for a couple of months, but he wasn’t sure when he would get used to his son dating his friend. Sure, Maxxie was only a couple of years older than Drew, but it felt like his two worlds colliding; he wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

Their backs were pressed against the headboard, and Bella was strewn across their laps. She had already liked Maxxie, but now that he was dating Drew, who happened to live with them? She was constantly in a state of happiness being surrounded by the people she liked best in the world. She was still warm to the touch, but her fever wasn’t high enough to make him nervous enough to cancel. “Because you look dressed.” His son continued.

Bella blinked sleepily up at him. “GG, you look pretty.” She said before yawning and burying her face into Maxxie’s stomach.

“You’re stalling, which is totally adorable.” Maxxie chimed in. And he wasn’t sure why Maxxie was getting ready at his place instead of getting ready at his own place and picking up Drew later. All he knew was that his friend had shown up carrying a bag and wearing nothing but a silk robe. He was really hoping it wasn’t some sort of weird sex thing.

He made a face at Maxxie. “I’m not stalling. I’m just nervous about tonight.” He corrected, pulling himself away from his closet and sitting on the bed with the kids.

Drew shrugged, but it was Maxxie who spoke. “I don’t know why you’re so nervous. It’s just a date, and you guys were married for like 10 years.” He said nonchalantly. 

Gabe blinked. “I meant about the show.” He said, giving him a weird look. 

“Oh. I don’t know why you’re nervous about that part. I would be more nervous about going on a date with my ex-husband.” His son chimed in.

He groaned. “Gee, thanks for that.”

5:30pm

“Why is he picking you up so early?” Drew asked as he held onto Bella so Gabe could put medicine in the two year old’s ears. She always tended to be slightly more agreeable when her uncle was involved in her medicine-giving, but only slightly. She would have been more agreeable if Maxxie was holding her, but he’d disappeared into the furnished basement which was essentially Drew’s apartment.

Gabe shrugged. “I got a text when I was sleeping telling me he was, but apparently I was on the phone with him for five minutes when I was asleep so I probably told him to get me early.” He admitted, petting Bella’s hair to keep her from squirming too much. “I probably figured I needed a chaperone.”

His son rolled his eyes as Gabe scooped Bella out of his arms once he got the medication in her ears. “I don’t want to be your guys’ chaperone.” He practically whined out.

There was a knock on the front door, and suddenly Maxxie was standing on the stairs that led from the living room to Drew’s lair. His hair was done up in rollers, which elicited a giggle from Bella. “Your date is here!” Maxxie announced excitedly before flapping his hands in Gabe’s direction. “Go put the baby down-”

“Not a baby, Maxxie Mouse.” Bella complained.

“Of course you’re not, baby.” Maxxie soothed before turning his attention back to Gabe. “Go. He needs to see the effect of you coming down the stairs in those pants.” 

He rolled his eyes, but still did as he was told. As he set Bella down in her bed, he could hear Maxxie open the front door. “You have a party.” Bella snuggled into her bed, Scully already on the bed with her, a protective paw on Bella’s leg. “You sleep here? Or you sleep there?”

“I’m not sure yet.” Gabe admitted, thinking more about how parties tended to go with his friends, not so much about how things could go with Johnny. “But Grey is gonna spend the night here, and Kid and Abby are going to look after you both. You’re gonna be good for Abby, right?”

Bella nodded. “The best.” She promised before pointing at her cheek demandingly. “Kiss, now.”

Laughing, he pressed a kiss to her cheek before passing over her LeapPad and stepping into the hallway. He ran a hand over his slacks, making sure they were wrinkle-free and dog hair free. Unable to stall any longer, he walked down the stairs, pausing midway at the sight of Johnny standing in the living room with Maxxie and Drew. He wasn’t sure who looked more uncomfortable: Johnny or Drew.

Seeing Johnny in a suit would always make his heart skip a beat. Now he knew why Juliet was so damn determined to get him in light blue; she wanted him to match her father’s eyes. “I feel like we’re fucking going to prom.” 

Johnny’s hands were stuffed into his pockets and when he looked at Gabe, really looked at him, Gabe found that he needed to hold onto the handrail for support. “You look better than going to prom.” His ex-husband murmured out, looking uncomfortable, like he didn’t know what to say or what to do in this given situation and then… “How are you feeling? You always used to get so nervous.”

A smile slid onto his features, all previous thoughts immediately dismissed. Years later and the other man still knew him better than anyone else in the world. “I still do.” He looked down at his feet, once again feeling like a teenage girl about to go to Prom with the Quarterback. Hearing Maxxie clear his throat was what prompted him to continue down the stairs and to his date. “I’m feeling a lot calmer now.”

7:00pm

They’re sitting in the car outside of the gallery, and it’s taking everything in Gabe to not run away. This was probably the most nervous he’d been for a show in a very long time. When he first got out of prison, he’d opened every emotion he’d ever felt for other people to see, but lately he hadn’t been as raw, as open, as intimate with his art as he was in the beginning of his career. Hell, this is probably the most intimate and public he’d ever been.

“You’re terrified of what everyone’s going to think.” Johnny told him, staring out at the gallery, instead of looking over at Gabe. “What’s so different about this one?”

He ran a hand over his mouth as he thought about an answer that wouldn’t ruin the truth of what Johnny was about to walk into. When it came to his shows, Gabe liked to generally keep Johnny in the dark. His reactions to Gabe’s work was always one of the rare times where his features weren’t schooled, when his emotions showed all over his face. Those were his favorite reactions. “It’s more personal than usual.” He finally admitted. “My heart is spread out there on the walls. Every ounce of it.” 

“You’ve gone through a lot. You used to tell me that’s what made the best pieces.” His ex laid his hand over Gabe’s and gave it a squeeze. His hand lingered over Gabe’s for a couple of extra moments, and Gabe wanted to grab his hand back when he pulled away. “I’ve wanted to ask how you are after… everything. After coming back from Russia, after everything that’s been happening with Connie, but I’m guessing I’ll get my answer in there.”

Gabe couldn’t help but to close his eyes, his hand already feeling cold. “I’m… probably less broken up than I’m supposed to be. It’s not really anything to do with Connie in there. There’s a bit about him, but he’s not exactly the focal point of my show.” He swallowed and glanced over at Johnny, chewing on his lip as he did so. “There’s stuff about you in there.”

The other man swallowed and then took a deep breath before making eye contact with Gabe. “Whatever it is, I’m not going to be upset.” He promised. “Unless it’s my ass again.” 

Gabe’s laughter filled the car.

7:15pm

The nerves returned as Gabe and Johnny stepped into the gallery. These were his familiar pre-show jitters. The ideas he had in his head didn’t always translate to other people, which was the risk that came from being an artist. Opening night meant translating his mind onto a canvas of some kind. Not everyone would understand his vision, which was so fucking nerve-wracking. Taking a deep breath, he took Johnny’s hand and they walked into the gallery.

He’d taken over the entire gallery, something that Gabe was incredibly grateful to Nik for allowing. She said it helped her more than it helped him, but he was still grateful for her and everything she’d done for him. As soon as anyone walked through the front door, they were greeted by a white display wall. Mounted on the wall were 15 mirrors, each surrounded by iridescent painted metal, surrounding the varying sized round mirrors like a cage. A 6”x6” sign was on the far right corner: Inside the Mirror, 2019, metal on mirrored glass. Gabe watched as Johnny detached his hand from his and wandered along the path, his fingers hovering over the caged mirrors, as though he was doing his best not to touch them.

Inside the Mirror was the beginning of the little maze that Gabe had created. If the person walked to the left, they were led to a small room. One side of the room had a white wall with lights playing against it that made it look like it was snowing. The whole room actually was designed to mimic a frigid cold environment. Everything was stark white and silver. It didn’t look sterile so much as it looked as though it should be below zero.

In front of the white wall was a half-wall of blown glass onion domes, backlit by lights. It was supposed to mimic how Gabe had felt when he was walking down the streets of Saint Petersburg, alone with a toddler. A 6”x6” sign was on the far left corner: Candied Onions, 2020, glass. 

It didn’t look like they were at the circus any more. Nik had shifted the lights down so the room was bathed in what Gabe would only describe as stained glass magic. It almost felt like the cold sun was shining through the glass, and not like a clown was going to jump out from around the corner any minute.

On the display wall opposite the glass wall of onion domes, there were three paintings. The first painting was mascara painted on a faded out mirror.  The was a 6”x6” sign to the right of the painting: Homo/Hetero, 2019, glass.

It was a man’s muscular leg and thigh, as seen from profile. Instead of being biologically correct, where his dick should have been was a shredded Pride flag. Nerves ran up his spine as he watched Johnny study his piece, but he didn’t stay at that one for very long before moving onto the next piece. 

The sign to the right of this one read: Iced Out, 2020, canvas. There were two families drawn in charcoal on canvas. One family was the outline of a father holding his daughter. Their bodies were painted out in watercolor earth tones. The father was holding the hand of another man, and this man’s outline was painted out in cool tones. The side closest to the father was a light blue that turned into an icier blue, which turned to look like ice as he got further away from the father. Next to that man was a man and woman painted to look like Matryoshka dolls.

The third painting was on what used to be someone’s oak dinner table. A hundred different wedding rings were painted out in melted chrome. Some were embedded deeply into the wood, while other ones were just barely on the surface. This one had taken months to get right. The sign for this one read: Wooden Rings, 2019. Of all the pieces in this room, this piece was the one that had Johnny’s attention. He stood in front of it for what felt like a long time, his fingers tracing over the rings. Sometimes Johnny was worse than the kids when it came to his work; he needed to be reminded to touch with his eyes. Something about seeing him with this piece though… He didn’t have the heart to tell him not to touch.

“There’s more.” Gabe murmured out, not wanting to speak too loudly in the quiet atmosphere he’d created. “This room leads to a bigger room, but I don’t want you to see the middle room yet. I need you to go back the other way.” 

He didn’t know how to explain it, but Johnny didn’t look like he was listening to Gabe, like he was in the current moment. It was like he was hypnotized by Gabe’s work, which left him very proud. “Why?” The other man finally told him, even as he was wandering back the way they had just come. “Stop worrying.”

The room to the right was laid out similarly to the left room. Instead of onion domes, there was a wall of blue ocean waves made out of blown glass, back lit the same as the other room. The sign for this one read: Cool Blue, 2020, glass. As an opposition to the piece in the other room, this one made the person feel like they were standing in water, like it was lapping gently at your feet. This room also felt warmer than the other room had. Winter vs Summer.

Seeing Johnny standing in the middle of this room made his stomach do little flip flops. The lighting brought out the blue in his eyes just right, which almost took Gabe’s breath away. God, that man was gorgeous.

On the opposite wall, there were three paintings, same as the other room. The first painting motor oil painted on a sheet of translucent blue glass. There were strong thighs, like the other room, but this was painted as a front view. This time, however, the space where the dick should have been was blank. It was an optical illusion making it appear as though the viewer was giving head. Seeing Johnny stand in front of it, gave Gabe a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. It just looked… weird seeing him standing like that in front of his own legs. The small sign next to it read: Masculine Vulnerability, 2018, glass.

Thankfully Johnny didn’t stand in front of it for very long before moving onto the next painting. If Gabe was totally honest, this painting was probably his favorite of all the paintings he had on display. The plaque for this one read: Ocean Dreams, 2019, canvas. For once one of his paintings was actually on a traditional canvas. It was layer after layer of blue and white paint, giving an ocean effect. In the beginning he hadn’t actually known what he was doing, but when he realized what effect the layers of paint had, he kept going. It turned out quite good, if you were to ask him. Johnny’s fingers hovered over it, like he wanted to touch, but he behaved himself this time.

The third painting was done on an old wooden glass window with four panes. He’d acquired it last year during one of his wandering through antique shop adventures, but he’d been hanging onto it for months, not sure what to do with it. A few weeks ago it had hit him, and he’d worked on it feverishly until it turned into what his mind had wanted.  In each pane was hand drawn burned out divorce papers. He’d painted carefully onto the backside of the glass so that if someone touched the front, the paint wouldn’t smear or flake. The sign for this one read: Burning Regret, 2020, glass.

Johnny stood in front of this one for a very long time, and when the meaning behind this piece, behind the show hit him, it was like watching a light bulb go off over the other man’s head. “I…” He watched his ex-husband swallow. “What’s next?”

It took Gabe a stupidly long moment to realize that they were holding hands again. When had that happened? The only place left to go was the room in the middle - to the piece that Gabe had been working on in the morning. To be fair, there were three pieces in there, but Gabe was only really worried about one of them. “You can’t touch the piece in there.” He reminded Johnny, knowing the other man too well. “You’ll know the one I’m talking about when you see it.” He whispered out. “I didn’t do a weight test on it yet. Eventually it’s going to be interactive, but I wanted it to be ready for this show. There’s a lot of starch, and glue, and magic holding it up.” He gave his ex’s hand a squeeze. “You go in first.” 

The first piece in the room was his latest piece in the Mythology of Muse series, Hades & Persephone. It was glass painted into wood. Like all of the pieces in this series, the subjects were seen from behind, and they weren’t wearing any clothing. This time it was two men, seen only from behind from the waist up. They’re holding hands, but their hands are burnt. One man was made to look like fire and ash while the other man was made to look like water with water lilies. The men balance each other out: fire and water, seemingly very different but necessary to the other to stay in check. Their bodies are tilted away from each other, but their heads are bent towards each other. 

Johnny stood in front of this piece for a very long time, and Gabe couldn’t help but to find himself wondering if Johnny understood what he was trying to say. As much as he loved his ex-husband, the man could be incredibly dense when Gabe’s art was about him. He never seemed to understand why Gabe found him so fascinating and why he was constantly a feature in his art. He hoped this time, he’d get it. Gabe thought it was pretty clear what the painting signified, but he was also the person who made it, so what did he know? 

The next piece in the room was a last minute addition. This was the piece he’d been obsessed with and made in the last week. He’d had inspiration after a conversation with Johnny and hadn’t been able to get the imagery they’d created during that conversation out of his head. It had been a couple of weeks ago, and Gabe had broken a mug. They’d stood in the kitchen of a house they’d designed together, but now belonged to Johnny. Blood had been pouring freely from Gabe’s hand while Johnny had stood between his legs, a cloth in hand as he tried to stop the bleeding. 

The sheer imagery of that moment, nothing longer than a few minutes, had bounced around Gabe’s head for days before he finally figured out a way to bring it to life. It had been his obsession this whole week. This was the piece Gabe had been the most nervous about. Every ounce of who he was and what he wanted to tell Johnny was poured out into this piece. 

It was an art installation piece, and there was a small stand with the plaque displaying the name: String of Fate, 2020, sculpture. It was a sculpture of two hands made out of glass, and it looked as though they were balancing on nothing but red string. 

One hand was made out of white glass and the other hand was made of black glass. The black hand was holding the white hand, forming imagery of yin and yang. It went along with his theme of two things balancing each other out. The white hand had a cut in the middle and red string poured out of it like blood. The string wrapped around both hands and the string twisted around and around in circles forming a stand that held the two hands up. The metal rods he’d been weaving into the string that morning seemed to be holding all right, which sent a wave of relief over him.

Unlike his other pieces, Johnny barely looked at this one before he was turning away from it. For a moment Gabe was terrified that the other man hated it, but then he saw his face. His face was flushed and tears were on his face. Before Gabe could process what was happening, Johnny’s hands were on his face and he was kissing him.

It was like coming home after a long time. The nerves were melting away. They still had a ton of shit to talk about and work through, but all that mattered in the given moment was that Johnny was kissing him. 

When Johnny pulled away, all Gabe could think to do was wipe the wetness away from his ex-husband’s face as the other man gently cupped Gabe’s jaw. “This is my love letter to you.” Gabe managed out when he was able to say words again. “I take it that you like it?” 

Johnny laughed. “Yes, I love it.” And his lips were on his again. “I love it.” He repeated, his hands moving to straighten Gabe’s shirt. “And everyone else will, too, but not as much as I do.” 

And that was all Gabe needed to hear for the stupid smile to slid onto his features. That was the only critic that Gabe ever cared about anyway.

“There’s another piece.” He murmured out, glancing back at Through the Looking Glass, an interactive piece that guests needed to literally walk through to get to the party in the other part of the gallery.

His ex nodded, and tugged Gabe against him. Suddenly Gabe forgot what they were talking about. 

9:30pm

The party was in full swing, and Gabe had long since been separated from Johnny. That wasn’t to say that he didn’t know where the other man was; he’d been able to catch his eyes from across the room all night. No, now came Gabe’s least favorite part, where he was being passed around from person to person. Weirdly enough, it reminded him of prison - that feeling of too many people in too small of a space. 

“Gabriel,” The art critic from the Times brought Gabe back into the present. “There seems to be an ongoing theme of duality in your pieces this evening. Is there a reason why you chose to call this show Reflections?”

He took a sip of champagne, if only to buy himself some additional time to think of his response. Why did these guys always assume that he had some sort of hidden meaning and philosophy behind his work? Thankfully over the years, he’d mostly gotten good at throwing random shit out there that the reporters tended to buy. 

“The duality theme is in reference to me and my exploration of who I am and what I wanted out of life. In general, every piece is a study of my own self-reflection. The past two and a half years have been about me figuring out who I am, what I want, and where my heart lies. Sure, there are mirrors. I’ve always enjoyed using mirrors as a canvas, but really all of this is a reflection of who I’ve become as a person.” And Jesus fuck. He needed to stop drinking soon. He always waxed poetic when he was buzzed and drunk.

The art critic ate up Gabe’s words and Gabe glanced around to see where Johnny had wandered off to. However, the next question had Gabe’s head whipping back to the critic. “Your break-up with D.A. Michaels was pretty public. Divorce tends to be messy when both parties are in the limelight. The political world and the art world are two very different scenes, but it was a pretty public breakup by New York standards nonetheless.”

Gabe didn’t know where the reporter was going with this, but he found himself finishing his drink and nodding anyway. “Yes, but we handled it maturely.” If anyone called one party losing himself in bottles and going to Hawaii with his legal secretary while the other got very very high at an artist’s retreat and then burning pictures from said Hawaii trip mature.

“I can see that.” The reporter said slowly, and Gabe just knew he was going to hate the next words out of the other man’s mouth. “Does your ex-husband usually come to all your shows? Or only when they’re about him?”

And suddenly Gabe wished he hadn’t finished his drink. What was it that Johnny had said when Juliet found him and Johnny kissing near String of Fate earlier and wanted to know what that made them? “I won’t be answering any questions about Jay- D.A. Michaels at this time.”

10:15pm

“OLD MAN!” Drew crashed into him, his brown hair smacking Gabe in the face. His arms looped around his neck, and Maxxie was staggering right behind him. Yep, someone had definitely been dipping into the free booze. Connie trailed behind them, which was a shock. Usually she wanted nothing to do with him and his art, but maybe she was sober and playing nice. Or maybe Drew had asked her to come because he knew how much it would mean to Gabe for both his children to be at his opening night. 

“There you are!” Drew announced. “I can’t believe you made all that stuff!” He leaned into him, and Gabe just laughed and gave his son a hug. “It’s so shiny!” 

“I think someone should be cutting you off soon.” He said with a laugh before turning his attention over to his daughter. To be fair, he wasn’t sure what his daughter was going to think about this show. “What did you think of the show?”

Connie shrugged and he realized now just how uncomfortable she looked. “You being good at art had never been your problem. You prioritizing your relationships and your art over us and mom was your problem.” She snapped out.

Her words made Gabe’s stomach turn, and he took a gulp of his fresh glass of champagne, watching as Maxxie and Drew wandered off. Being left alone with his daughter wasn’t exactly comfortable.

“Are you really getting back together with him?” And Gabe must have made a face because his daughter rolled her eyes. “You’re not a subtle person. Besides, I saw you guys holding hands earlier. You have a weird thing about holding hands. What was it that you told me once? It’s one of the most intimate things two people can do?” 

Gabe found himself blushing, but he didn’t break eye contact with his daughter. “It’s like someone pressed pause on an old cassette tape. It’s a little warped, but it still picks up where it left off.” He told her, his gaze searching across the room to find Johnny again. “Excuse me. You should probably keep an eye on your brother anyway.”

10:30pm

His back was pressed against one of the walls in the gallery, the light from the ocean room the only light. All he knew was that it was dark enough in the room that no one would find them, unless they were really looking for them. There were lips on his neck, a leg wedged between his, and a hand on his hip. For his part, he had one arm wrapped around Johnny’s neck and the other one on his ass.

“Think anyone will notice if we run away?” And at this point he’d had too many glasses of champagne and just wanted to be away from all the people.  

His ex was saying something, but Gabe wasn’t paying that much attention since he was kissing him, pulling back only to say one word before kissing him again. He was in sensory overload. All he could smell was Johnny, all he could feel was Johnny, and all he could taste was Johnny. In the back of his mind, he found himself wondering if he could taste the half a pack of cigarettes he’d smoked prior to Johnny picking him up. 

“Come home.” And Johnny wasn’t kissing him any more, but they were sharing the same air. They were so close that all Gabe needed to do was tilt his head up just right to kiss him again. The other man’s words caught Gabe off-guard. Home. That was such a foreign concept to him at this point. It was strange to think that after these years, Johnny still thought of the house as theirs. “Just for tonight, just so I can keep kissing you. Say yes and I’ll stop dragging you away from your party.”

Maybe it was the emotions of the day, or maybe it was the alcohol, but Gabe couldn’t imagine giving him any other answer than the word that poured easily out of his lips. “Okay.” And his mouth was on his again. “Okay.”

11:05pm

“Seriously?” Juliet groaned as she got a good look at Gabe who’d slipped out of the back part of the gallery before Johnny did. “What are you guys? Teenagers?” She wasn’t faring any better than Drew and Maxxie in terms of dipping into the free booze and her shoes were long since abandoned somewhere. “Can’t take you anywhere.”

Her hands straightened out Gabe’s shirt. “I really don’t want to know what you guys were doing in there.” She murmured out before trying to tuck the tail of Gabe’s shirt back in. “But you have a hickey on your neck.”

“I do not.” He said with a half laugh, twisting his head to see if he could see what she was talking about. There was a small flash of purple, and he groaned. “Okay, I do. I’m going to kill him.”

Juliet laughed. “It’s good to see you happy, Papa Bear.” She said, hugging him tightly. “Both of you.”

He sighed. “Jules, we still have a lot to work through.” He tried to tell her, but his step-daughter just laughed and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll check on your dogs tomorrow.”

“That’s awfully presumptuous of you.” He called after her as she moved through the crowd of people for another drink. “And I’m already paying people to do that!”

1:38am

Stumbling into the bedroom, he toed his shoes off and dropped his jacket on the floor before flopping face-first, ass-up onto the bed. Johnny had taken Felony outside, and between the booze and his weird-ass pre-show sleep schedule, he was fucking exhausted. Blindly he reached out for Johnny’s pillow and buried his face into the fabric, inhaling the familiar and comforting scent. He was halfway asleep when the bed dipped and there were hands on his hips. 

“Take your pants off before you fall asleep, Briel.” He was being manhandled onto his back, and if it was anyone else, Gabe probably would have fought them on it, but it was Johnny and he trusted him. Johnny straddled his legs and unbuttoned his pants for him as Gabe laid there, watching him. “Really? You’re not going to help me at all?”

Gabe shook his head, sliding his hands to Johnny’s ass and pulling him down on top of him. “Uh uh.” He said, hugging his ex to him, nuzzling at his neck. “Shouldn’t have drank so much. Wasted a good opportunity.” He slid his hands under the back of Johnny’s shirt to pull him closer to him.

“This isn’t the last time you’re sleeping here.” Johnny said with a laugh before freezing and pulling back to look at Gabe. “It isn’t, right?”

Gabe rolled them over so he was straddling Johnny’s stomach. “Not even close to the last time.” He murmured out before kissing him. 

They were both too buzzed for it to lead anywhere else, but if there was one thing Gabe had always liked, it was kissing Johnny.

4:45am 

“Briel.” The bed dipped and Felony yelped from where she had been curled up next to Gabe’s hip as he slept. She jumped off the bed at the intrusion and wandered out of the room. 

“The rabbits have escaped the compound, babe. I need to find them.” He mumbled out, trying to stay asleep. “I can’t go to school yet.”

Laughing, Johnny pushed him into a sitting position, despite Gabe’s groans of protest. “Wake up.” He slid behind Gabe, leaning against the headboard and pulling Gabe against his chest. Kissing the side of Gabe’s jaw, he smacked his thigh with a newspaper. “I have today’s Times.” 

Now Gabe was awake. “I don’t want to read it.” He whined out, burying his face against Johnny’s chest. “I don’t want to know what he thinks of the show. He hated it. I’m sure he hated it.”

Ignoring him, Johnny flipped through the paper until he found the section he was looking for, and then pulled Arts and Design out so both he and Gabe could see the article. “It’s tradition.” He said, which was why he had a paper copy and not a digital copy. “Now shush and let me read to you.”

Unable to look at the page himself, he closed his eyes and let Johnny read the article to him. “The Duality of Reflection: GRT Gallery reopens with the hottest show in town.” Johnny nudged him. “That doesn’t sound bad so far.”

Gabe groaned, and opened his eyes. “Keep reading.” He whined out.

“There’s a sense of quiet upon walking into the GRT Gallery. The gallery has been sectioned off into four main rooms, which is Gabriel James’ style - transporting the viewer into the dreamscape that is his mind. The lighting is low lit, forcing calm over anyone who enters the gallery.

“The first room is nothing but a white wall with a series of mirrors mounted onto it. The mirrors set the stage for the other rooms in the show. It’s at this point where the guest gets to choose their own path. If they venture off to the left, they find themselves in a Russian themed room. Despite the harsh white lighting in the room, James’ signature style is more than evident in each piece, including his habit of sprinkling vulgarity and crudeness into his pieces.”

“Ugh.” Gabe rolled his eyes. “Ever since the penis tree, suddenly my style is vulgar.” He whined out.

Johnny laughed, the sound and motion making Gabe’s body vibrate. “Briel, you have a painting in this show that make it look like people are rounding third.” He pointed out, and Gabe didn’t have to turn around to know that the other man was smirking at him. “Anyway, where was I?”

“I have a vulgar style.” Gabe prompted, settling back against his ex again.

There was a kiss pressed against his shoulder before the reading continued. “According to James,” there was a nudge at his side as though to point out that the critic was now quoting him. “‘I was in a strange state of mind after moving back home from an extended stay in Russia. There was something cold about living there, and I’m not just talking about the snow.’”

Johnny laughed. “How drunk were you when they finally found you?” He asked, the paper shaking in his hands.

Gabe flipped him off. “Do I need to take over reading or are you going to do it?” He asked, half-turning his head to look at Johnny.

“If the guest goes to the right, they find themselves in a blue-themed room. Everything is soft and cast in shades of light blue. In spite of the soft colors, it’s very obvious that this room represents masculinity. The pieces in this room all have a theme, the jewel of this room being the overly textured Ocean Dreams.”

The sound that escaped Gabe’s mouth wasn’t entirely human. “Overly textured???? It’s just the right amount of fucking texture.” He hissed out, but Johnny ignored him and kept on reading.

“The pieces in the main room are the reasons for coming to see Reflections. ‘The middle room is the equivalent to my soul.’ James said in explanation to why the most striking pieces are the ones tucked away in the middle of the show. ‘These pieces are the most personal pieces I’ve ever created. As much as I overshare when it comes to my personal life, I like to keep some emotions bottled up and hidden. I finally came to a point in my life where I realized how stupid that was. I’m not ashamed of how I feel, and I need to share my feelings with the world.’”

Johnny stopped reading for a moment, and Gabe turned his head up to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Keep reading.” He breathed out. “I need to know what he thinks of the other pieces.”

“The latest installation in the Mythology of Muse series is by far James’ best work in the series. The only other piece in the series that features a portrayal of James himself is Apollo & Artemis. James has said in interviews before that he doesn’t like including himself in his art so when he does, the pieces carry a deeper meaning than the ones without him in it. There’s a sense of awe that comes from seeing an artist included in their art - especially an artist like Gabriel James.”

Gabe closed his eyes, not wanting to see the paper any more. “I don’t want to know what he thinks about String of Fate. You liked it; that’s enough. I don’t need to know.” He said, almost nonsensically. 

Another kiss on his shoulder. “Yes, you do.” Johnny said before straightening the paper out again. “If you need one reason to see Reflections, go only to see String of Fate. Though all the pieces in Reflections are well-thought out and beautiful in their own right, String of Fate is James’ masterpiece. When art historians talk about James in the future, String of Fate will be the piece most associated with James. This will be the piece art students study.”

He couldn’t breathe. His eyes were open again, and somehow Gabe’s hands were clinging to Johnny’s arms. When had he even grabbed his arms?

“Reflections will be on display through the end of March at the GRT Gallery. Can’t make it before April? Don’t worry. String of Fate and Hades & Persephone will be on display at the Metropolitan Museum of Art where Gabriel James will be the artist in residence throughout the summer season.”

Johnny hit Gabriel with the paper. “You didn’t tell me you were going to be at the MET this summer!” He accused.

Shaking his head, Gabe turned his head to look at Johnny. “I didn’t know.” He breathed out, looking at him in complete surprise. “Pants!” He scrambled out of the bed. “Where are my pants at?”

“The hamper.” His ex told him, before flushing as he realized what a married thing that had been to do. Gabe didn’t live there any more, but it seemed like Johnny had forgotten when he’d tossed both their pants in there. The simple gesture shouldn’t have made a grin appear on Gabe’s features, but it did none-the-less. “But I put your phone and wallet on the dresser where you usually, uh, used to put it.”

With shaking hands, Gabe unlocked his phone and scrolled through his texts, looking for the one from his agent, Sully. It felt like the air had been punched out of him as he read the text out loud. “Congratulations, G! We’ve gotten more than a dozen offers on your pieces, and a few museums that would like to purchase the rights to Ocean Dreams and Iced Out for both display purposes and to print reprints for sale. We also received a generous offer from the MET for Artist in Residence. I know how you feel about the MET and your relationship with them so I told them yes, pending a contract review. I know you’re probably celebrating so I’ll call you on Monday. Congrats, again!”

He set the phone back down on the dresser and in a daze walked back over to the bed. “I… they… I…” Once again he was experiencing sensory overload. Not knowing how to form words, he instead crawled onto Johnny’s lap, straddling his thighs. Only knowing one way to express the sheer amount of emotions that were washing over him right now, he pressed his lips against Johnny’s, kissing him as hard as he could until he couldn’t breathe any more. Then he buried his face into the crook of his neck as he struggled to catch his breath. And was he crying? Fuck, he was crying. 

“I told you they were going to love it.” His ex-husband soothed, his hands trailing gently up and down Gabe’s back. “Not as much as I did, but I told you they were going to love it.”

He nodded against the other man’s neck, still unable to talk. Maybe it was the sheer amount of emotions put into the show, or from the stress of reading the review, or the lack of normal sleep he’d gotten over the past couple of days, but within minutes he was asleep, still clinging to his ex-husband like he was the only thing keeping him anchored to the world. And maybe in this current moment in time, he was.

[shadcatmastered]

Kid x Law - Fanfiction - New Year's Eve

Law knew why he was sitting here alone. Which did not mean that it depressed him less. The people in the small bar all looked at the clock. Laughing, roaring, drunk and especially in each other's arms. 10 minutes to go. The black-haired man tensed his shoulders and drained his cocktail before trying to order one more from the bartender. However, he was so involved in a conversation with two women, that he would not even have noticed a thirsty. Law sighed as he forced his gaze to the small TV in the corner. He had previously looked too far in the bar to find he was surrounded by a sea of ​​couples. Of course, who spent New Year's Eve alone? Except the forsaken? No, Law had no break up. Not in the classical sense. He had just realized that he had missed something. Something essential. He noticed it only a few months ago and now he couldn’t do anything about it. The black-haired had enough friends and enough acquaintances. One would think that he would not have to spend a single minute alone, which he did not want to spend alone. However, it was this darn old age. At least he blamed it. Three of his friends had been married in the last two years. Two sat with little children at home. Another of his friends spent New Year's Eve with the family of his fiancée. And the other two celebrated with their respective partners. When the demand came, what he was doing on New Year's Eve, he had shrugged at first, meaning he would still see. When he had now received pitying looks and politely declined the half-hearted invitation he had begun to lie. He told his friends that he had been invited to a party of a new friend. He did not want pity or anyone who forced himself to spend time with him. Only there was no party. There was only him and that cocktail he had drunk. Then he spent New Year alone. How bad could that be? ...very bad. With an evil eye, he looked to the bartender, but he ignored him as skillfully as if he had never had guests before. Law looked down at the hanging tits of the two women pejoratively. At one you could even see the chest. But as drunk as she was, she would not even notice if she was naked. Probably even not when a guy just pushed his cock into her overly wide hole. Guaranteed she wanted to go to bed with this bartender. And took the girl friend with her, who knew where the XXL dildo was hidden, that this worn hole could be filled anyway somehow. That was mean. Damn, he wanted a drink! Law had no relationship. Honestly, he had never had one. He could not even say exactly how it had happened. He probably had missed that, too. He had felt the last hints of falling in love with his school days. Yes, indeed. At the age of 14, he'd been terribly in love for the first time. In a good-looking boy, who only sat in front of him. That was also the year when his grades were worse than ever. Law did not watch in the classroom. No piece. He just sat there, dreamily watching the boy from behind. Imagine what it would be like to touch him. And my god, what it would be like to kiss this one. Now and then little giggles came over his lips and he painted his block full of hearts. Bandaged their initials and wrote love letters at home, carrying them in his satchel. If he was brave enough, he would eventually give the letters to his chosen one. Law had never bothered to be gay. He was enlightened enough to know even at this age that there were homosexual people. This was nothing special, just a fact. Although he was aware at that age that there were far fewer gay than heterosexual sexual men. But what that really meant, Law had not understood at the time. His head had simply not understood that it was very unlikely that the other boy was also interested in the same sex. The end of the song was, that he was staring at his mobile number in one of many nights. His class had a WhatsApp group and his number was the first one he had saved. Marius. Right. That was his name. Now he remembered again. With exciting trembling fingers and his stupid boy's heart, which almost jumped out of his chest, he sent a message, whether he wanted to come visit him. And Marius agreed. Law did not sleep that night. No, he was happy, wept with excitement and had the first 'real' erection of his life. Marius came by two days later. They gambled his favorite PC game with Splittscreen. A stupid car game, as he remembered today. They drove a taxi and had to get the customers to their destination as soon as possible. There were points for the fastest time and for the most destructions. Marius had smiled at the game but played along. Law remembered how happy he had been. His mother... YES, his mother had brought them two little Pepsis and with these in their hands they wanted to go to town. Until his mother solemnly ordered them to take Lamy with them. She was thrilled to be crazy because her big brother had recently spent much less time with her than ever through all his daydreaming. But Law was just horrified. His little sister on a date?! Of course, the look of his mother had not allowed a contradiction and so they had gone to three in the city. There was a pool table in a squalid internet café in the city where you could play for little money. There they went. And in Law's memories, It was a nice afternoon. Marius often smiled, though his gaze seemed to say even more often that he had somehow imagined it all more as a shooter play among mates. After half an hour this indicated that he would rather take the earlier train and go. Of course, Law and Lamy brought him to the train and Law was very close to him. Nothing happened. Of course not. Still carrying the Pepsi bottle in hand, Marius came home by train and Law's heart could not beat right for days afterwards. He wrote Marius many WhatsApp messages with inconsequential content and got... really never an answer. Of 50 messages he wrote, perhaps 4 were answered. And yet his heart of love could silence his protesting brain. Two weeks later, Law wrote a message in Marius in the middle of the night. 'I do not know how to tell you... but I fell in love with you.' Exactly three hours later he got the answer: ,I love you too.' Law could still remember the feeling right now. This pure, irrepressible happiness, which wanted to break all tracks. These suppressed screams and cheers and how his heart finally beat happy. At least until the next day of school. That school day that brought pure horror. Within that one day, the clever, nice law with which to steal horses became the biggest joke. They all knew. And they all laughed at him. Marius told everyone how Law's little sister was mentally retarded because she had come up against the wall with the billiard rack. The whole, in Law's memory so beautiful, afternoon became a pure spiteful parody against himself. It may sound ridiculous, but Law was sure that this formative event had determined his whole life. In a certain way. His love for Marius did not go away easily. She tortured him to graduation. It was no longer beautiful and innocent. It was a single ordeal that he hoped every day she would finally die away from, and no longer mind him when compared to the others. But no. It held until the last day. And then when the principle "out of sight from the mind" began and that terrible love finally passed away. Since that day, Law had managed to never fall in love again. He forbade it. Now the comments may come that one could not choose where and in whom one fell in love. But that was not the whole truth. If you locked away those emotions, deep down and erased every approach, you no longer fell in love. Although he had been so young and that love was so stupid and childish, the subsequent years of school had hurt so badly that he did not want to allow that pain under any circumstances. Who needed love and a partner when having friends? Two minutes left. The measurements of people became more restless, some already shouting out the new year. Law still had nothing to drink. Well, no relationship did not mean he had never had sex. Oh no. The black-haired man learned more than to appreciate gay bars. You drank together, you began to fumble and you had wonderful sex after and you never had to see the other again, if you did not want to. Sex without love. Perfect for the man who had given up love completely. And damn, he had had some really fantastic sex. But no, he still did not want to fall in love. What he actually wanted right now was a bit of company. Not more. He missed his friends. Even those who would promise their female partners equal to a fabulous orgasm and then fall asleep somewhere drunk before. Or not. What did he already know? He was not there. He had often lied about partnership and love. Whether with his friends or work colleagues. He did not even know why he did it. It just so happened to his blood that he kept doing it. Sometimes he told the story of a long distance relationship. Sometimes that he had recently parted with his ex because he was an asshole. Sometimes the story that he had just met someone, but it was not serious. That's what society wanted to hear. Then there were some grinned comments and the topic was forgotten again. The eternal bachelor would be talked about. But not about the man who, like everyone else, had relationship problems. It was that easy. 00.00 clock. Loud screams came through the bar. Crashes and thunder of rockets and the like roared in from the streets. Law smiled briefly. Very briefly, just for a moment. "Do you want anything else?" The black-haired man's gaze fell on the bartender, who had actually managed to move his ass towards him a few seconds past midnight. A pretty ass, admittedly. "Yeah. Give me a whiskey. " The bartender smiled and Law noticed that he had a beautiful smile. Just white teeth that shone from behind his lips. Hm. Generally, the bartender did not look bad. He was tall and muscular, and when his pants pushed against his crotch, the promise of something "big" shimmered through. And Law admired his hair color. He was wondering if they were colored. They were fire red. But as pale as his skin was, it suited a born redhead. He could not see the color of his eyes in the darkness. If the man were not so obviously oriented to women, Law would now have considered whether this one should not fuck him into the new year. The bartender put down the whiskey for him, smiled briefly again and then disappeared. Serving the celebrating crowd with such expensive liquor that she accompanied a proper bill into the New Year. Law finished his glass and went home. Alone. He had lost the desire for sex for today. He did not want anyone to vomit in his bed as soon as he woke up. In his apartment he turned on the light, took a shower and then sat down to bed with a good book. The crash of the rockets continued for hours before his windows. But Law did not care. No. He read in his book until he was tired and then lay down to sleep. And wondered why he was so depressed. He had had a nice evening. Quiet but beautiful, and he had made every decision he made today. He was not lonely. He had enough friends and most of them had found nice relationship partners too. Some of them had even fathered very sweet children. Damn annoying, but cute too. So what bothered him? Nothing. He was just tired. And who was tired quickly became sad. What the hell. Only one day off, then he could go back to work. Law slept long, although he woke up several times. The first time he opened his eyes at eight. He had a dream. Something black. He did not want to think about it, so he closed his eyes and quickly fell asleep again. At ten, he woke up next time. He could get up now... wash his hair, buy something for lunch, maybe make an appointment for the evening... well, he could. Pulling the blanket higher, the black-haired turned and fell asleep again. When he finally sat down at 12 o'clock in his bed, he sighed. He still felt depressed. This unfathomable sadness. He just explained to himself that he was not lonely and that he could prove it to himself. Even before Law was out of bed, he picked up his cell phone and called his best friend. At the other end of the line, childish preaching awaited him, and he closed his eyes as if the noise would be less. "Yeeeah?" Shrill up and without a polite performance, a bright girl voice answered and Law thought to himself that three year old was too young to answer the phone. "Can I talk to your dad?" Trying gently, Law spoke his words, whereupon silence sounded. "Hello?!" The voice repeated itself, as did Law. Another beeping: 'HELLO ?!' and the black-haired man grimaced annoyingly. Could not she even use a telephone receiver? Suddenly the child 's noise stopped and the familiar: Beep - Beep - Beep, an attached lead sounded. Law sighed and left the phone on the bed as he went to the shower. He considered who else he could call. Maybe he should try it with someone childless. Maybe it would be a sensible idea. Still with wet hair from the shower, Law went naked to his cell phone and called first the delivery service. He had found that he had no desire to go shopping or cook. He ordered spring rolls and fried rice from the Chinese before dressing, sitting down on the sofa, and then calling his friends list. Anyone for a nice last night out. One had to have time. Only one, that was enough. They used to be five or six. Most of his friends he had met during his studies. Aspiring students with high goals and even greater celebratory mood. He had never lowered himself to something like a student apartment. Honestly, most people had found him grubby, and he had no interest in completely giving up his private life. He had lived with his parents for a long time before he had had enough money to afford an apartment alone. Which did not mean he did not spend most of his student life in student residences. He was drunk, it was celebrated and then he went his way again. Just as he wanted. There had been no long phone calls back then. No hours of planning. Five minutes before going out, they wrote a message to the WhatsApp group and everyone was ready. What had happened? Nobody had time. Nobody. He got many apologetic refusals. Many excuses presented and god, Sachi even shouting joyously in the phone when answering that his girlfriend was pregnant! "Imagine that, Law! Imagine! I’m going to be a father! I’m going to be a father!" Law grimaced. So much that he did not like himself. "Congratulations.", was his dry answer. But in his pure joy Sachi did not notice this dryness. He cheered a few words and Law hung up. Great. The doorbell rang and Law took his food. The hunger had passed him by a long way, but he gave a generous tip before he set his food on a plate and sat down in the dining room. He and five empty chairs. Did not he want to prove sadness that he was not lonely? Lifting his plate, Law walked into the living room and turned on the TV. Of course, there was no television program that interested him. He watched a court show and ate apathetically his food. Unmotivated slipped after this deeper into his couch and looked at the clock. It was already half past one. Law sighed as he devoted himself to the television program. Why not? He did not want to do anything for work these few days. His thoughts slipped into his childhood. He thought of Lamy. He loved his little sister very much. He had always loved her. After his departure, the contact with her had only become stronger. Constantly they had made an appointment, constantly seeing each other. In the meantime, Lamy was 24 and engaged to a guy who, in Law's opinion, did not fit a single piece to his upset, bubbly little sister. He was quiet, well-read, working in a library and apparently knew everything. He himself found this absolutely uninteresting. Lamy loved the man, who was so small he was barely taller than herself, and allowed her heels to be banished from her wardrobe forever, idolatrously. For whatever reason. In a sudden anxious thought, Law wondered if she also wanted to get pregnant. And hoped it was not like that at all. It was four o'clock when he called his mother. Oh yeah. His mother. And asked if he could not come over for dinner. They had not seen each other for so long and he did not want her to miss him too much. "Oh Law, I always love to see you, you know that. But just today, your dad and I wanted to go to the opera. How about tomorrow?" Law could not believe it. By God, he really could not believe it. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and said as kindly as he could that it was not bad. And unfortunately he could not tomorrow, because he had to work again. His mother sounded truly sad and Law knew that she would feel guilty the whole evening at the opera. Suddenly he saw the picture in front of her. As she stood with two Pepsi bottles in her hand, smiling, she said he should take Lamy with him. The beginning queasy feeling in Law that he had ruined his mother's evening disappeared. That's how Law spent his day off at home. He watched mindless television. Leave in his book and surf the internet. With his laptop over his lap he hung over a brokerage. The first month was free, then 24.99 euros per month. Law had read customer comparisons. This should be the best brokerage of the big wide internet, also with many same sex mediation possibilities. ...but he did not want a partner! Completely frustrated, Law closed his laptop, pulled on his jacket, and left the house. Just sitting at home would drive him crazy. So what?! Then nobody had time today! The next time one of them called, maybe he had no time! Bloody hell! But when he walked alone through the streets and again had the feeling that in the early evening hours only couples went to a walk. At that moment, Law admitted it. He felt lonely. But not lonely in the sense of: I really want a partner, but lonely in the sense of: I want someone to hang out. So he went back to yesterday's bar. After all, he could look at the bartender's pretty ass while he was getting drunk. Oh yeah. Get drunk! That sounded good! Law sat down in the same chair from yesterday while ordering the same cocktail from the same bartender. He smiled, with the same white teeth and Law smiled back. Today was far less busy than usual and the bartender stopped in front of him while he took the cocktail glasses from the dishwasher and polished clean. Yes, that was really a handsome man. "May I ask you what your name is?" His voice came dry over his lips. Scratchy and way too deep. Law wanted to roll his own eyes over himself. If he wanted to make a flirtation with him, he had just screwed it up. No one wanted to flirt with illness voice vocal cat. The bartender smiled. Charming, or even happy surprised. "Certainly. My name is Kid Eustass. Just say Kid." The latter reached out and as Law struck, the handshake was warm and firm. His posture and his eyes... they were golden. Really and truly. His smile was so genuinely interested that Law felt a tingle running across his skin. Sales strategy. That was a sales strategy. Pull yourself together. You really are not that desperate. Law accepted that. Called this his name. "Do you work here every night?" The black-haired man had cleared his throat. His voice was smooth and soft again. He whispered softly. And smiled. "Every Thursday until Monday. On Tuesday and Wednesday I'm free. But if it was up to my girlfriend, I would have quit here long ago to have a decent weekend like normal people. " He laughed. Honest and joyful, as if he wanted to cheer Law up. But Laws smile just faded and the cocktail was tipped down in a big train. Of course he had a girlfriend. Naturally. If anyone had observed Law yesterday, told those colleagues about its tribulation, nobody would have believed that. Law was a completely different person at work. He smiled, laughed, joked, and was probably one of the most committed and pleasant colleagues the hospital had ever seen. Overtime was no problem, difficult operations a pleasure instead of a burden and teamwork the nuts and bolts. The black-haired was not aware about it, but he had many admirers. Oh, too many envious, but above all, many admirers. What was due to its absolutely reasonable, professional way in every situation. When Law was appointed Senior Physician within a very short time, no one had wondered. When the position of department head of cardiac surgery was up for debate, his name fell everywhere again. The decision was still pending, but Law looked confident in his future. Oh yes, he loved his work. It was exhausting, tiring and often frustrating, like any work, yet he loved it. It was proven that every person had several faces. One was the face shown in his work, the other only the friends knew, one for the family and one that nobody knew except himself. If Law had to put her in a chronological order, he liked his working face the most. Nothing could shake him, throw anything off course. There was only the forward. And with that orientation he was successful. Law loved life at work. After that ...well. Instead of having more time again, Law felt as if his friends had less and less time for him or for each other. If he were angry, he would have said that they all behaved like old men. His thoughts kept circling the bar, but he had not gone back since talking to Kid. He really did not need another friend to tell him about his happy relationship. Of that he had enough conversations the day. It was a Saturday, about a week after New Year's Eve, when he was sitting on the balcony of his apartment. He crawled under the railing and leaned from the wrong side against the columns of the balcony. His feet hung in the cold, nocturnal winter air, five floors above the ground. The black-haired man took a deep breath and leaned his head against the wall. It was a nice night. A really nice night. And he lived in an equally beautiful house. He moved the top floor of an apartment building, newly built and apartments in the purchase price of single-family homes. His apartment and the area was undisturbed. In front of the building was a large lawn designed, clean and well-trimmed. The look of his blue eyes slid down. If he let himself slide down now, he would not die, but come to the hospital with serious injuries. He snapped his tongue snappishly and closed his eyes. If he were dressed in the building next door, there would be no turf under his balcony, but hard asphalt. That would be deadly. Stop, you could misunderstand Law right now. It was not like he wanted to kill himself, oh no, no way. But sometimes he just thought about the possibility. There was something strangely reassuring about it. Just like the thoughts of what it would be like if he died of a sudden accident. So completely the black-haired could not explain those thoughts themselves. It was a mere thought. Something that made his sometimes whirling thoughts calm and matter-of-fact. Almost like a good swig of whiskey. The black-haired man sat for half an hour in the biting cold, before he got up, crawled over the railing and cooked himself a warm tea. In fact, he felt very calm and drank in a sip. Oh, he was hungry. Mh. No, he was not only hungry, but really keen to cook something fine! Oh, a salmon lasagne, that would be just right! And indeed, a little exercise as well. The black-haired man put on loose jogging clothes, put his purse in his back pocket and jogged to a supermarket. He chooses the one that was furthest away. He plugged his headphones into his ears and grinned as ‘Freude schöner Götterfunken’ rang out. His footsteps adjusted to the melody and he sang along those unconquered passages. Loud, roaring, but full of good mood. When he arrived at the supermarket, he was totally sweaty, but of such a good mood as a long time ago. Cozy he bought all his ingredients for the lasagna. Grinning and humming a bit, before his cap was suddenly pulled off his head, baring his black, sweaty hair. At first scared, then angry at the prank, Law turned around before literally opening his mouth. There was Kid in front of him. And grinned, very broad and amused. "Good evening! I already missed you in the bar! " Close your mouth! Law closed his mouth and tried a smile as he took the cap from his hand and suddenly realized how irrationally fast his heart was beating. Probably with fright. Or the fact that he was sweaty and in jogging clothes, standing in front of a well-dressed handsome man. "G-good evening. Yes, I had late work. Unfortunately, I had to work instead of drinking." Actually, Law smiled, even if it was a half-lie. His late shift was over at 22 o'clock. Just then was the perfect time for a sip after work. The redhead nodded in understanding before this smirk: "Luckily. I thought I scared you off. " Law tried in that moment extremely to ensure that his thoughts could not see. The thought that he would have come more often, if he did not have to start immediately with relationship narratives. "No no." He smiled. Kid smiled. "Do not you have to go to work today?" It was Saturday. Especially on Saturdays there had to be more than enough work in a bar? And the black-haired man remembered that he had vacated on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. "Oh, yes... but I took my time off. Today is the one year old between me and my girlfriend. But I would have preferred to work afterwards. " The smile made a sigh and he grimaced. Law's keen eyes had seen only too well that his cart was previously stocked only with beer. He skillfully ignored the sting he felt at the word 'one year old'. "Why?" Well, but why he wanted to work rather than a well-loved partner together, he was interested. Kid grimaced. So amused exaggerated that Law had to smile amused. Without knowing what it was about. "I cooked with eggs." What? "What?" As irritated as his thoughts were, Law spoke his words and Kid looked at him. "She has been vegan for two months. Be healthier and so. And I cooked her favorite dish today. Spaghetti Napoli. With homemade spaghetti. And now, I used eggs for the spaghetti. I just did not think about it. She only noticed that when she saw the package in the trash and had already eaten half. She then screamed me as if I tried to poison her. That would be a sign that I was not interested in her live and her interests at all. Such a bullshit. As a result, I left, from my own apartment, mind you. But I do not feel like quarreling. I actually thought that we would be busy with completely different things tonight. It was a really nice evening until then. She also had a really cute gift for me and I bought her a gold necklace, which she probably liked a lot. And then that. Because of stupid eggs.” The redhead sighed and looked at him sullenly, as if he expected a comment like: The women! You can make nothing right! But Law just looked at Kid. Well, he actually could understand that. Although not why she freaked out just like that, but if she had opted for this lifestyle, she did not want eggs in her food. "I'm sorry." Yes, it really did. Quarrels were always unpleasant. Kid shrugged. Before he smiled again and rattled with a six-pack of beer, which grabbed this from the next shelf. "What do you think about? We two and this, and another six-pack, beer, at a cozy TV evening at your home." Law's heart was buzzing. Yes, it used to be that easy. They met, made an appointment, and left together. Just a drink. He smiled. That would save his boring evening at home. Indeed... "With pleasure. Very much. But not today. You buy chocolates, beautiful flowers, egg-free spaghetti, go home and reconcile with your girlfriend. At least you have one year today. His relationship is not risked because of chicken eggs. " Bloody hell. Damn it. For a few moments the redhead was silent before he sighed and then smiled. "...you're right. You really are. Even if I and my girlfriend have been quarreling lately. Maybe it will be better today... Thank you. Come to the bar tomorrow, huh? You get the most expensive drink we have on the house. " The other man's smile was wide and honest. At Law's approval, he gratefully put his hand on his shoulders and did the same as he said. And Law just stood there and watched this nice butt and was pretty sure that Kid would still get his planned night. But heaven, this had been the only correct answer He plunged the headphones back in his ears before he jogged back home. He felt very good. Not depressed or anything. He just found himself feeling like he was jealous of Kid’s girlfriend.

written by Shadcatmastered

- I’m sorry for mistakes. English is not my native language. -

#New Year's Eve #A depressed law #today out of laws view #kid x law #alone #sad #depressed #new hope #KidxLaw #KidLaw #KidLaw FF #KidLaw Fanfiction #Kid x Law FF #Kid x Law Fanfiction #KidxLaw FF #KidxLaw Fanfiction #Kid #Law #Kid Eustass #Law Trafalgar #one piece #one piece ff #one piece fanfiction #yaoi #yaoi ff #ff #fanfiction #same sex

[lalka-laski]

If you have a job, how long is your shift? I do have a job though I’m not working at the moment. My shifts are either 6 hours or 10 hours, oddly. It’s very rare that I work a typical 8 hour day.  What was the last thing you received in an envelope? A super sweet card and gift card from my mom. She is a lifesaver! Do you ever wear your hair in a pony tail? Actually no. I either wear it in a messy bun or piled up in a big claw clip. I have’t worn a true ponytail in ages. When was the last time you got a new phone? Years ago Do you wear your watch on your left or right arm? I don’t wear a watch

What was the last kind of pop you drank? Diet Coke that I spilled over ALL the contents of my coffee table and the rug underneath it. I was very close to tears. It was just the icing on the cake of an already shitty day. (But good news: today has been much better!) Do you think you’re single because you repel the opposite sex? I’m not single What language did you take up in high school? I took French every year Why are you home? Well we are all quarantined to our homes except for essential trips so WOOHOO! Do you like sunflowers? They’re pretty but they’re not my favorite. Whose bedroom were you in last? Besides my own it was my sister’s, but that was a couple weeks ago now. Are you counting down for anything? This pandemic to be over? Whenever that may be.  Are you watching TV? What’s on? For ONCE the TV isn’t on. It’s a nice break! Have you ever been bitten by a mosquito? Mhm  Do you have a sweatshirt on right now? Yep Where is your ex? Don’t know or care in the slightest Have any pictures on your dresser mirror? Two actually Did you hang out with anyone today? What did you do? I’m not sure if it counts as “hanging out” when I spend time with Glenn now since we live together. Have you had any beer this week? Nope just wine. It’s the official drink of my quarantine, apparently.  What channel did you last watch on tv? NBC to watch a press conference with Cuomo  What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed? I’m having a glass of Sauv Blanc right now. Surveys and wine seem to be my wind down time. Currently waiting on something/someone? I’m wait for the clock to hit 5 so I can get started on dinner. That’s really it. Last time you painted your nails? I haven’t painted my own nails in YEARS. I was never good at it. But with salons being closed it looks like I may have to learn...  What was the last thing you watched on television? Didn’t I just answer this? Is your shirt yellow? Nope How old will you be in 12 months? 28 *throws up into mouth* What did you do last night? The same thing I’ve been doing every night.  What woke you up this morning? An obnoxious bird outside the window. So I had to get out of bed and close it shut.  Do you sleep naked? Sometimes. Always pantsless though.  What should you be doing right now? I’m about to start making dinner but that’s it Looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now? Never in a million years did I envision I’d live through a global pandemic. Such is life! Does the person you have feelings for start with any of these letters: B, L, D, or M? Nope Do you have make-up on? Nah  Have you kissed anybody in the last 4 days? Sure have Have you ever held hands with someone in a car? Yep  The last person you kissed name started with a J or R? Nope Are you taller than 5 foot 7 inches? I’m about 5′7″ exactly. Although Glenn is convinced I’m 5′8″ because I appear taller than him and he thinks he’s 5′7″. Lol. Would you rather be called honey or baby? I love them both! Honey feels best coming from an older, caring figure and baby is best coming from a romantic partner. So for example, I love when my aunt calls me honey and when my boyfriend calls me baby. The person you have the most feelings for calls you right now, what do you do? I’d ask him why the fuck he’s doing that since he’s sitting three feet away from me.  Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? Because ^^ that  Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? I intend to. Cigarettes are naaaasty.  Your last kiss meant nothing to you, right? Absolutely wrong Where is your phone? Right next to me  Will you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yes, probably in a few minutes.  What if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? Well we’re actively avoiding that until we’re financially ready but if by some chance I got pregnant, we’d go through with it.  Where did you get the shirt you are wearing? Well technically Plato’s Closet but it’s PINK.  Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years time? Most likely Would you ever try being a vegetarian? I’ve been one for 13 years! Did anyone call you babe yesterday? Yep  Did you ever slam a door on someone? Yes Have you ever walked on the beach at night? It’s one of my favorite activities  I bet you’re thinking about someone right now? Not particularly  Are you in love with someone right now? I sure am What have you watched so far today? The news and Bojack Horseman What is the weather like right now? It’s beautiful. Warm but with a slight chill, and sunny skies Are you talking to anyone on AIM right now? Who? GIRL HOW OLD IS THIS LOL What is your favorite card game? I don’t care for traditional card games but if we’re talking just games that involve cards- I love this new game “Buzzed.” It’s a drinking game, go figure.  What kind of pet do you have? Any certain breed? None What color shirt are you wearing right now? Black  Do you wish someone was dead? No way  What’s your favorite ice cream? Creme Brulee! I’m still enraged at Ben & Jerry’s for discontinuing theirs, but I like other brands too.  Have you ever given a toll collector 75 cents in pennies? Fuck no Give me the link to your favorite Youtube video: I don’t have a single favorite  The last time you hurt yourself-how did it happen? Who knows? I run into shit all the time.  What’s the name of dance you can actually dance to? I can do all the cheesy step-by-step dances they do at weddings and parties. (And I love them, sue me!)  If you could have any pet you wanted, what would it be? I’m not much of a pet person. Maybe a cat or a bunny. Did you ever have an invisible friend? That’s.... not healthy lol.  How many emails were you sent today? I had one work email and a few personal emails (confirmations for online shopping I just did).  Favorite sleeping position? I sleep on my back and sometimes in the fetal position.  What are you drinking right now? Sauv Blanc What’s your favorite alcoholic drink? Beer- Red ales, specifically Smithwick’s Wine- Dry whites like the Sauv Blanc I’m enjoying right now. Although if I could, I’d drink sparkling wine every. damn. day. Prosecco is my go-to! Liquor- Vodka, usually with diet ginger ale or soda water.  How many hours of sleep do you get each night? It varies night to night. Last night I got about 8 maybe? Are you a good morning person? Actually, yes! Have you ever been on a diet? I’ve had my share of dangerous crash diets. Right now I’ve been doing OMAD although I don’t consider that a diet. Annnnnd to be honest, I haven’t been sticking to it anyways during quarantine. It’s too easy to snack! What’s your favorite dessert? Cookies! I’m not a fan of cake/cupcakes but I’d throw down for a good chocolate chip cookie. And a glass of milk, of course! What was your favorite Christmas gift you got last year? I got an air fryer and a crockpot and I use them both religiously  What have you thought up yet for this year’s list? It’s only April so, definitely not. What’s the best activity you’ve done so far this summer? See above^ What baseball team do you root for? I couldn’t care any less about baseball 

[ancientbrit]

Natter #3   6/24/2020

So, on Saturday morning, I took part of my breakfast (yogurt) from our backup  fridge in the garage, but when I put the first spoonful in my mouth I noticed that it was warm. Strange that. So I checked the backup fridge and found that everything in it was warm. The freezer contents - weren't.This was a disaster as I had been to QFC a couple of days previously buying frozen and fresh foods including four half-gallons of milk. Jean had been out the day after for the first time in 12 weeks and part of her haul was more milk and ice cream. I imagine that the excitement of being out again at last and back to her old stamping grounds overcame memory. So here we were rushing around trying to save what we could by rearranging everything in the kitchen fridge and then trying to close the door.The old fridge was possibly down on refrigerant and I was a bit annoyed for a brief moment until I remembered when we bought it.  It was when we lived at the 'old house' way back in 1970 and it was already a year old when we got it! My word - 50 years old. I should have remembered as it's color is 'Harvest Gold' which hasn't been seen on store shelves in donkeys ages. I tend not to date things by color though, as modern colors mean little to me - 'Taupe' for instance means less than nothing. My lexicon runs in terms of the spectrum. But forgetting it's date made me think back to those 'Old House days' and what we were about then - those days and other old days that preceded that time.  My memory of 'then' is perfectly clear  - it seems just like it was yesterday even though I know how long ago it actually was. So many friends and relatives who are no longer around to share those times with, One of the things that have remained constant is our phone number. Of course, then we had an exchange name -  Adams 2, which has now been transmuted to numbers - 232, and I think doing this has lost the feeling of romance that it seemed to have for me. When I was a kid many of our dairy and grocery items were delivered to the door by horse-drawn carts - very few people or businesses had a sufficiently high priority during the war to have a petrol ration. Mum had joined the "Co-op" for convenience and of course, there was the benefit of a bonus payout at year's end. I loved these horses and would meet them outside and feed them apples, carrots and whatever else I had to hand. Still firmly in my mind is the Co-op number I had to recite to the driver when we had milk or groceries delivered - 157376.  Being horses, they would leave proof of their passage along the road and my Dad would pay me a shilling per bucket full of 'Golden Apples' as my Dad referred to this natural function  It seemed like it was too demeaning a job for a full-grown adult  and using his term was sort of distancing himself from the unpleasantness. It used to embarrass me a bit too, but you couldn't argue with the reward. it was all grist to the mill, and it did do the roses a power of good. In 1956, I had been out of the RAF for a year and had also just recently returned home from a  very long sojourn in hospital, and my Dad was persuaded, against his will, to have a phone installed. Phones were not then usual to find in most houses and my Dad's reluctance was based on the very real belief that his company could too easily find him at inconvenient times. I told him that it was an absolute necessity in that day and age and so at last it was installed. Our phone number was Fairlands 4725 and as I said, I remember the old exchanges with affection. Others in our neighborhood were Derwent and Vigilant and my favorite Aunt had the best I always felt - Silverthorn - lovely. The Fairlands exchange was essential to me as when I was discharged from the hospital I had left behind a lovely German nurse with whom I had developed special feelings. When I had become sufficiently fit to allow me to leave the hospital and walk around the grounds, I used to collect any outgoing mail from other patients who were still confined to bed and take it some distance up the road, through the snow to a mailbox. Just to make sure I would be okay, Irmgard, for such was her name, would accompany me and we would find a need to indulge in long hugs and exchange lip locks - just to keep the cold at bay you understand? Shared bodily warmth is a great way to defeat the weather! Later, returning to the hospital, which had been a big old private house standing in its own grounds, we would split up at the circular drive with a last goodnight kiss. Irmgard would go round to the kitchen door and I would go the other way to the front door. Knowing that our companion runs were our secret, I was surprised to find the youngish Matron just inside the door. With a twinkle in her eye, she asked if it was cold out and I acknowledged that it was. She told me that I should be careful that I didn't get chapped lips, but then added that lipstick was a sovereign remedy - and departed with a grin. So much for secrecy! Irmgard's phone exchange name at the hospital was Coombe Wood - not exactly what might be termed 'romantic' but association made it so. Our association was quite intense and a forthcoming proposal, whilst welcomed, was at that time impossible for Irmgard to accept. Her sister was soon to marry, another Englishman and they would be returning to England to live after their honeymoon. She would not leave her parents alone just like that. She had been sent to England for a couple of years to improve her English and was soon to return home to Bad Canstatt, just outside Stuttgart. As I was about to return to my studies we were parted and unlikely to meet again any time soon. So our contacts were limited to letters and very rare and expensive phone calls and so the Canstatt exchange also lives brightly in my memory. Unfortunately, long-distance relations tend to strain circumstances and over time our contacts became less and less,     Sometime later I reached a point where I was able to take a trip to the Continent. I wrote to Irmgard to tell her that at last I was able to come over to see her, not being really sure of my reception as I hadn't written for ages. Within days I had a reply and although she was totally delighted that I was coming she told me that she had become engaged. I couldn't really blame her as I had been very lax, but she wanted me to come and meet her family when I arrived. She was really very good and took me all over the city and ended at her parents' home in the evening to a party for her sister and new husband, just returned from their honeymoon on Lake Constance. It was a really nice evening and I got on very well with her parents, but of course, I didn't like her fiance at all! After all this, although I had been given her brother-in-law's name and address back home I was never able to contact him. I would love to have kept up to know how her life proceeded. I still have her framed portrait photograph she sent me when she had first returned home, inscribed "Zur stehten Erinnerung" Deine Irmgard. I have been occupying some of my evenings on the computer lately sorting and printing out the Natters that Jo & Tom, Carin and Janet have been good enough to get to me. As they all seem to have been listed well out of order I am busy trying to see what I have and what might yet still be missing. The job has been compounded by the difficulty I have experienced in opening the Flash Drive. Sometimes it allows me to zip along, opening files, but then will stop and nothing will work. Next day I try again and I am off to the races again. But I am getting there slowly and tonight (Monday) I completed taking off hard copies. Now I can sort through, putting them in chronological order and see what I shall see. Much more later, but there seems to be nothing before 2012 so I guess that was when I started. As I mentioned last Natter I have been attacking Lily of the Valley and I am almost finished - at least with what was visible. Along the way, I have also removed Sword ferns, Cedar seedlings five feet high and Jasmine. The Jasmine was an insignificant rooted cutting, from where, I have no recollection. It had been placed in a pot on the ground and had been overgrown by all sorts of stuff and over the last year had gone nuts. It was to be used at the Plant Sale and now there are five separate plants threatening to strangle you on the approach to the greenhouse so of course, they have to go. The final gap in my deer-proof fencing was completed a week ago but I forgot to mention it to the deer and my hostas have now been browsed off on three separate occasions. As soon as it looks like there might be leaves on “Empress Woo” that might be reaching terminal size, they disappear and I am beginning to think that I will have to curtail totally growing the items they obviously consider their personal snack bar. 'Doesn't really leave much selection but at least, so far, my cardiocrinums don't feature on their menu. 'Have to be grateful for small mercies I suppose. One good thing has come out of this. My neighbor (ex MG Jill) who has allowed me to use three raised beds to grow veg, has been getting worried that I might fall from the area where the raised beds live - on a raised part of the garden with a six-foot-high rock wall as it's western boundary. She sees me stepping back to admire my work and then bailing out over the edge. So she is having a large bed prepared at the bottom of the wall, which will be enclosed by a deer-proof cage. It will also benefit from the heat held by the rock wall - all sorts of interesting possibilities there. She is a good friend. So next year we might actually be able to eat something we have grown once more. 'Haven't been able to do that for the last four years now, except for Onions and Garlic! Got started on removing existing plants today so we might have the new bed up and running before too long with any luck.  I think it was the hardest day's work I have done for ages and I had to have a nap in the afternoon, but I couldn't tell whether that was because I had two early start days or the sheer grind of lifting heavy plants.You have likely realised that I am just stumbling along here so I will finish and get to bed.

You fearless and weary leader.Gordon

PS Jill had a change of mind just following this and the bed we cleared was ordered replanted - and not with veggies or fruit either. Got to find another place - perhaps a PeaPatch again?