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#chief shanks
shanksthepiratedilf · 9 months
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Luffy is now my adopted son!✌️😗
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succoallimone · 1 month
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imasimpforshanks · 8 months
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romantic epiphanies
aka. when they decide to marry you
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ft. zoro, shanks, ace, sanji, sabo
part 1 | part 2
a/n: in the words of Rosa Diaz and Jake Peralta “romantic epiphanies are dope”!! this just a bunch of fluff about when one piece characters decide they want to marry you/what makes them have that “aha!” moment?
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the moment zoro decided he was going to marry you was on a random thursday night as you were brushing your teeth. it’s something the both of you do everyday. it’s mundane, it’s normal, it’s routine. but for some reason, something in his mind or his heart felt different - a good different - and suddenly he couldn’t stop thinking about how nice it would be to see a ring on your finger.
shanks never really saw himself being tied to one person. that is until he lets one rip in front of you for the first time and you simply combust into a fit of laughter so uncontrollable you actually snort. the sound is music to his ears and he decides right then that all he wants for the rest of his life is to make you laugh.
for ace, the moment he decides he’s going to marry you follows an intensely emotional conversation about his true background - who his blood relatives were. he went into the conversation expecting you to leave him, but instead a pressure builds behind his eyes as you state very matter-of-factly, “it doesn’t matter who your family is. you’ll always be my ace.” the way you utter those words with such certainty has ace wanting to propose on the spot.
sanji was always so sure he’d propose in an extravagantly romantic manner - anything less would be unacceptable. but as he wandered into the kitchen he was blessed with the sight of you in an apron, face and hands covered in flour (and god knows what other mixture of ingredients). upon hearing him, you’d turn to face him with a smile that made his knees weak “i was trying to make you a snack!” and then he steps forward to wipe some of the flour from your face and the words slip right out of sanji’s mouth before he’s even realized what he’s said (before he’s even had the chance to plan a proposal), “will you marry me?”
for sabo, the end of your third date was the deciding moment. your lips lingered on his a little longer than the other kisses you had shared and the instant you turned around to toddle back into your home he races off calling for koala to help him pick out a ring. though, he’s not an idiot, he knew your relationship had to grow more before he popped the question, but there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that you were the one he was going to marry.
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lapizeui · 2 years
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Op Men React to the Phrase "Clap👏 them 👏Cheeks👏" Slight N/SFW
Hello loves, this idea has been on the back burner for a while I decided to finish it c: The gaming term 'clap them cheeks' means you are going to beat someone in a game. I know it sounds wrong but it is hilarious. I hope you enjoy!
TW: suggestive language, lots of humor
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Stop what they are doing and look at you with a curious expression  (They are rather confused on why all of a sudden you want your cheeks clapped “I’m sorry but did you want me to cheek clap you… like right now?”)
-Marco, Pell, Izou, Juzo, Vista, Rosinante, Jean-Bart, Benn, Iceberg, Katakuri, Denjiro,Rakuyo 
They know it is a gaming term and will challenge you ( Very cocky in those challenging words “I’m afraid I’m going to clap  dem cheeks of yours babe” as he says it has is clapping his hands, grabbing the controller, in the end, he does clap your cheeks in the game.)
-Ace, Haruta, Yamato, Penguin, Shachi, Kaku, Sanji, Heat, Wire, Kidd
Perverted mind  (giving you a cocky grin “Kinky are we today? How about this I clap them cheeks each time you call my name out.” holds you closer)
-Thatch, Shanks, Limejucie, Bellamy, Doflamingo, Yassop, Hongo
Doesn’t understand what you are saying, they are from a different Era ( “back in my days that meant something totally different from what you explained to me.”)
-Garp, Sengoku, Kaidou, Rayleigh, Roger, Whitebeard, Gaban, Jinbe, Zeff, Oden, Momonaga
Makes a perverted bet with you (giving you a sly grin, raising his brow “let's make a little bet if I win I get to clap your cheeks, Deal?”)
-Sabo, Kidd, Vander, Sasaki, Duval, Apoo, Paulie, Aokiji, Kuzan, Caesar the Clown
Ask his cards for advice (Looking at the cards “it appears if we play the game your cheeks will get clapped 98% chance of it happening.”)
-Hawkins
 Lets an annoyed sigh out (“I don’t have time for those foolish phrases you keep saying…If you keep it up you will have more then your cheeks clapped….”)
-Crocodile, King, Akainu, Lucci, Daz, Daifuku,Oven, Perospero, Arlong, Kuro
Challenging you to the games not backing down ( “I will show you whose cheeks are getting clapped.” he would be determined to beat you at the game.)
-Luffy, Yamato, Bartolomeo, Buggy, Usopp, Wyper, Cracker, Franky, X-Drake, Koby
Who reverse the question on you (“how about you clap my cheeks~~”)
Ivankov, Bon clay
Will completely not pay attention to what you said ( “what was that again?”)
-Dragon, Zoro, Mihawk
Overly confident in his game abilities (“you think I will let you clap my cheeks well your wrong haha!)
-Enel, Cavendish
Cannot see what you are playing (“I’m afraid I can’t play your game”)
-Fujitora
Will win the game against you ( “I believe you got your cheeks clapped…. Badly.”)
-Killer, Law, Smoker
Gasp at your comment ( “sadly my dear I have nothing for you to clap , i’m a little…butthurt YOHOHOHO”)
-Brook
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that-cloud · 2 years
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story? is a super-Halloween-candy-treasure-hunt Luffy name it
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randomzfandomz · 1 year
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I was watching some arcane edits and then went to pinterest and went to my one piece buggy saves and thought about that one chapter I forgot the number of when it showed buggy's perspective of shanks at the execution of their captain the pirate King and my brain went like 'wow angst, perfect thing to add on to that iiiiiiiiiiissssssss more angst!'. And yeah, fanart dump of a one piece x arcane crossover that is very confusing but interesting in my so yeah
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ravarui · 7 months
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"shanks-san", sabo waves his hand with his friendliest expression. "miss makino always told me and my brothers, family shouldn't fight and since foosha village is somewhat of a family," he nods to himself, "i'd appreciate if you do not yonko conquerer haki my girlfriend too hard, yes? a little is okay... she's strong! but she works for the marines,that's kind of punishment enough, they're all... most of them, crazy." the blonde whispers: "she's not even allowed to drink! that's so sad, right? how do you even have a good time if you cannot drink here and then?" (very not serious chief of staff asking for his girlfriend not to be kicked over board too hard, just gently, ty -runs-)
A worried chief of staff Always Accepting @isutoburu @kugiuchi
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"Your girlfriend? I didn't know you were involved with a marine, guess that changes things a little then." He gave a serious nod, agreeing to the request of the blond. "You're right kid, not being allowed to drink and working for them must be horrible enough. No wonder all of them are always so tense and grim."
"So a little bit of haki is alright yes?" It would cause no serious harm at least. "But in my defense: I did ask her to surrender without a fight, your girlfriend is kind of stubborn in this regard."
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grandline-fics · 5 months
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All That I Need
DESCRIPTION: When your presence is all they crave
WARNINGS:  Just fluff
CHARACTERS: Sabo, Sanji |Luffy,Zoro,Shanks
WORD COUNT: 1,107
A/N: Hope everyone has a wonderful and happy New Year. Be safe however you celebrate.
*REQUESTS ARE OPEN*
MASTERLIST
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SABO
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The role of Chief of staff to the Revolutionary Army was one Sabo would never give up. To even consider that would be laughable to him. Yes it was dangerous at times and hard work but a difference was being made and it was rewarding. However on long missions like these that took him away from you on extended periods of time his resolve did get tested. On the one hand the growing agitation of being away from you could at times make him distracted but on the other hand the anticipation of being in your presence again was a very strong motivator to get the mission finished as soon as possible.
It was a blessing in disguise that the events on Dressrosa greatly intensified for Sabo just when his need to hurry things along was reaching its limit. Reuniting with Luffy and the chance to get Ace’s devil fruit steeled his mind to keep on track enough until everything was completed. Satisfied that he had done all he needed to and that Luffy was safe he finally made the return to the Revolutionary base. When he set his feet on the island he considered home he couldn’t keep the grin off of his face, knowing that finally seeing you would be only minutes away and no longer days or weeks.
Knowing he had one more duty to conclude he ran as fast as he could to Dragon’s office, the small line of line coming from beneath the door telling him his commander was still awake. Sabo barely knocked once before entering and rattled through a condensed and hurried summary of the mission and its success in record time. Dragon was used to this by now, all too aware of the childlike giddiness that took over his second in command when every fibre in his body was being pulled to wherever you were in desperation. “Just go Sabo, but just be mindful that they’re sleeping.”
Sabo’s face fell into a heavy pout as he left the room and walked to the living quarters he shared with you. Logically he told himself that you’d both been apart for long enough that the rest of the night wouldn’t be too long of a wait by comparison. Then again logic wasn’t his priority. He needed to be with you, his whole body compelled him to be near you now. When he entered your shared bedroom he took in your peaceful sleeping form and felt his heart race just a little faster. Quickly shedding his coat, gloves and boots he climbed into the bed instead of doing his usual nighttime routine and wrapped his arms tightly around you, pulling you as humanly possible against his chest while he nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck. 
“Welcome back Chief…” he grinned at your greeting, slurred and heavy with sleep. Lightly he pressed a kiss against your shoulder as your fingers found their way into his blond hair and curled against the nape of his neck. As you felt Sabo’s body relax on top of yours as sleep finally claimed him you let your mind linger just a little longer on the edge of consciousness. As much as you wanted to go back to sleep your body needed to anchor yourself to him too, to keep him close and take in his warmth and the feel of him again for as long as possible.
SANJI
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Cooking was his passion and he’d never want to do anything else. However on a day like this he did resent it just a little. With a feast to beat all other feasts needing to be made it meant he was practically a prisoner in his own kitchen with no end to the meals he had to make in sight. Damn Luffy for making such a huge declaration with very little time to prepare and after such a long battle it meant he hadn’t seen you in what felt like a lifetime. With a heavy pout he tried to make the food as quickly as possible while still ensuring it was the best quality as always. The only problem was he couldn’t stop thinking about you. 
He wanted to see your face, hear your voice and laugh, embrace the feeling of your presence that he just could never get enough of. When he first met you he fell hard and knew that what he felt for you was far different than any other passing infatuation he’d experienced. Something told him that this was real and he made sure to enjoy every day with you being on the crew. It was just a shock but a very pleasant one that you also developed feelings for him too during the adventures on the crew and not once did he ever take it for granted. 
At the sound of the door opening, Sanji turned ready to yell at Luffy to get out and wait patiently for the feast he was so desperate for only for his anger to die at the sight of you entering the room. Immediately he felt his legs carry him away from the stoves to meet you halfway, the excitement on his face unshakable and infectious as you returned the grin he had. His arms slipped around your body and pulled you close, kissing the top of your head and letting out a soft hum of contentment when your arms tightened around him. “Need any help?” You offered, looking up to smile at him. 
“Just having you here is all the help I need, love.” Sanji told you gratefully, pressing one more kiss against your temple before reluctantly pulling away to tend to the mountain of food that still needed to be made. Having the brief moment would be enough to keep him sated until he was done. His heart skipped when you followed closely behind him and tucked yourself against his side. “Everything okay?” He asked, glancing down to see you look over his food in appreciation and a content smile on your lips. 
“I’m great, I just know how Luffy’s spontaneity for this feast ruined any plans we had for today.” You told him, leaning your head against his chest. “Plus I missed you.” Sanji couldn’t help but beam at your words. He knew out of the two of you, he could seem the more invested one and sometimes clingy or overly affectionate so it was rewarding to hear you missed him just as much as he had been missing you. Overwhelmed with his rush of emotions he abandoned the food for another brief moment to lean down and kiss you deeply.  
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alexa-fika · 5 months
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Subheaders by @firefly-graphics
Dividers by @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more
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Kitchen Menace (Thatch x child!Reader x Marco)
Hungry for truth(yandere!Thatch x Reader) Inspired and written by/with @quinloki and 💧 anon
Fists for Family (Rayleigh x child!Reader x Shakky)
Special Treasure (Rayleigh x child!reader x Shakky)
Embracing Feelings and Family (Rayleigh x winged!child!reader)
Tree Escapades (Rayleigh x child!reader x Shakky)
Adventures in the past ( Roger pirates x child!reader)
Midnight Lessons (Mihawk x child!reader)
Papa to the Rescue (Mihawk x child!reader)
Teasing Distractions (Mihawk x child!reader)
Picky Eaters, Tricky Givers ( Mihawk x sick!child!reader)
Baby Feathers (Mihawk x winged!child!reader)
Failed Takeoffs (Mihawk x winged!child!reader)
Tough Swordplay (Mihawk x Winged!Child!reader)
New Begginings (Mihawk x Winged!Child!reader!), Part Two~
Escape, Friend, Return (Mihawk x Winged!child!reader x Zoro, Sanji)
Fruitless Negotiations ( Mihawk x blind!child! Reader)
Baking Fails (Mihawk x winged!child!reader)
Repercussion Stance (Mihawk x child!reader)
Sandy Bonding (Crocodile x Dracule!child!reader)
Circus Escapade (Cross guild x Dracule!child!reader)
Ghastly Cuteness (Perona x child!reader)
Clumsy Ghostly Guardians (Law x child!reader)
Breaking the Cycle (Law x child!reader)
Lost again? ( Heart pirates x child!Dracule!reader)
Thiefs in the making (Chopper x child!reader x Nami ft Sanji)
Unexpected Visit, Unexpected Family (Ace x child!reader x Luffy)
Sleeping Techniques (Shanks x child!reader x Beckman)
Wandering Dragon (Whitebeard pirates x dragon!reader x Revolutionary army) Part 2
His One-Piece (Whitebeard pirates x reader)
Stolen Help ( Whitebeard pirates x child!reader)
Parties and falls ( Whitebeard pirates x child!reader)
Claws out (Whitebeard pirates x Cat!Reader)
Stuffy Meetings (Whitebeard pirates x child!reader)
Puppy Love ( Shanks x child!reader x Whitebward pirates)
Enemies Yesterday, Babysitters Today (Whitebeard pirates x Dracule!winged!child!reader)
Lost Birds ( Red Haired Pirates x Dracule!child!reader)
Monkey Sitters (Dracule!child!reader)
The tale of Cats and Birds ( Zoro x reader)
Secretly Lost ( Zoro x child!reader)
Delivery for One (Crocodile x pigeon!reader) , Part two Part three
Rise of the Usurper (Doflamingo x pigeon!reader)
Guide in the Darkness (Smoker x blind!child!reader x Fujitora)
Eyeliner (Eustass kid x sibling!reader)
Killer Timeouts (Eustass Kiddx sibling!reader x Killer)
Soaked Set-up (ASL x sister!reader)
Revenge and Teasings (ASLx sister!reader)
Sickly Cuddles ( ASL x sick!sister!reader x Shanks)
Chiefs and Brothers (Sabo x Sibling!reader)
Lasting Memories ( Shanks x child!reader)
Pest Problems ( Shanks x Mouse!reader x Benn Beckmann)
Bye Family, Hello Family ( Luffy x brother!reader)
Bombs Beware (Ussop x sibling!child!reader)
Instincts or Recklessness (Marco x reader)
Cure for Inflictions ( Marco x Reader)
Chilly Prisoner ( Kuzan x hellhound!reader Part 2
Lost Sight ( Sanji x child!blind!reader)
Ghostly Mishief ( Sanji x ghost!child!reader)
Hunger and solicitude (Brook x ghost!child!reader x Sanji)
Insubordination and Cynophobia (Smoker x Kitsune!Reader)
Lost ways, Found people (Smoker x reader)
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Little Gardener's Pirate Odyssey (oc!child x one piece characters platonic)
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3,Chapter 4
Little Stowaway Wanderer (Oc!child x whitebeard pirates)
Chapter 1
Little Stowaway Wanderer (child!Reader x Whitebeard pirates)
Chapter 1
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imasimpforshanks · 8 months
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“We need to talk” text prank
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ft. buggy, luffy, zoro, law, ace, sabo, shanks, usopp
a/n: a little suggestive in zoro’s and pregnancy mentions in shanks’ !!! other than that, enjoy 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 complete crack
oh also… not me posting three times in a week or so????? catch me not posting again till December 🤣
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gold-rhine · 3 months
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What the guard dogs are for
There are some things you never want to hear your secret years-long crush saying, such as “I’m getting married,” “I think we should stay friends” or “I’m the destroyer of the present order, the one who shall judge all gods, and the foe of humanity.” Wriothesley’s very bad, no good day of trying to unravel conspiracy theories, fumbling a tea party with Chief Justice and learning Teyvat’s ancient history and vishap lore from the leading expert lector.
Genre: angst and misinformation campaign
Characters: Neuvillette\Wriothesley, Enjou
Warnings: sfw in a sense that nothing even remotely sexy happens, but there is dissociation, ptsd episode, brief mention of self-harm, and Enjou doing same thing he does in canon, which is not quite gaslighting? Anyway, let me know if you feel any other warnings need to be added.
Chapters: 1 out of 2. Wordcount: ~8k
With his morning tea, Wriothesley riffled through the reports as usual. Nothing was marked urgent, so he started with the most boring part, - the official ones. The production numbers, coupon consumption statistics, everything is prepared for Neuvillette’s upcoming inspection, which was mostly a formality, but he would want it to go as smoothly as possible. 
Reports from the surface informants. Traveler stirring up a ruckus with the research institute… Well, about time, that pit couldn’t go on forever pretending that massive explosions are just a part of science routine. 
Next, creatures called “vishaps” appeared recently in Erinnyes Forest. These vishaps are apparently a lesser form of dragons, and connected to Liyue vishaps, also lizard-like creatures, though in Liyue they are aligned with geo, not hydro. Non-hostile to humans, aside from one accident. But in that one they fought back against the hunters sent by nobles to capture them as novelty pets. So the only regrettable part was that they didn’t get the nobles, only their lackeys. For shame. 
Next, there are gangs with new lingo going around, which generally was a good thing to pay attention to as they usually ended up in Meropide. Wriothesley frowned, reading the lingo translations, as he suddenly felt old. “Trendy Zaytun Peach” was something he’d got called for taking it up the ass a lot in his days, but now it’s a hip and cool nickname with the youngsters. 
Informal internal reports. Victims of beret society are rehabilitating fine, preparations for the wedding are underway. Good. Albert, a new guy from the shop, is sending him tea. Quite good tea at that. Obviously a bribe attempt, though he didn’t ask for anything as of yet, so it was basically free. Everything was fair in love and bribes as far as Wriothesley was concerned. You could throw everything at the feet of your beloved as to the feet of your targeted bureaucrat, and receive nothing and you would have no claim to complain. Now, the fact he wouldn’t take it into account when making decisions about their proposals, and sometimes would even consider it a negative, was a different matter altogether. 
He perked up reading the last report. There was a new conspiracy, whose agenda was not very clear, as they were more careful than the others, but the gist was something against Neuvillette, so Wriothesley was tracking it for some time. It was hard to get anything concrete though, as they were pretty good at keeping a low profile, but now apparently one of the members by the name of Jacque got into the Fortress on unrelated charges, and he was reportedly not the brightest shank on the block. 
Wriothesley made the arrangements. 
Half an hour later, he happened to stroll by when Jacque was being beaten up by three guys in the shadowy corner. 
“Hey, what’s going on here? Leave him alone!” he said, walking up to them.
“Oh yeah?”, said one of the bullies, turning to him. “Well, make me!”
They were paid double for the pretend fight. It might have been an overkill, usually Wriothesley would go for just scaring them off without combat. Especially because anyone who’s been in the Fortess for some time or had a head on their shoulders would understand that nobody would try to openly fight the Duke outside of the fight club arena. But Jacque was as fresh as they get, allegedly stupid, and it was Wriothesley’s first chance at any info in two whole months, so he decided to make it as impressive as possible.
He went as easy on the guys as he could, they theatrically threw the fight and retreated. 
“Hey, are you okay?” he asked, kneeling next to the guy in the corner and putting his hand on his shoulder for emphasis. 
“Yeah, yeah, I think I’m fine,” Jacque muttered, shaking his head. 
“Why did they attack you?”
“They don’t want me to spread the truth...” Jacque said with heavy emphasis. “But uh, thanks for helping me out.” 
“No need to thank me. I feel bad enough that honest folk like yourself get picked on in MY Fortress. That’s not how I want to run my place, so it’s only natural that I stand up for you.”
It took a moment, but finally the guy gasped.
“Your fortress? Are you… the Duke?”
At least he knew what “Duke” is.
“Yeah,” Wriothesley grinned, turning up the charm. “And allow me to get you a couple of drinks to compensate for the rude welcome you’ve received so far.”
He got them to the Coupon Cafeteria, where best meals were already arranged, and generously poured alcohol into the poor guy, listening to the story of his life and misfortunes that brought him to the Fortress, nodding empathetically. He didn’t ask about Neuvillette at all, to not spook the target, trusting that he will come to this anyway, and finally his patience was rewarded. 
“You know, you’re good!” the guy said drunkenly after some time, clasping his hand on Wriothesley's shoulder, which he beared stoically, grinning with all friendliness in the world. 
“You know, they say we can’t talk to you because you’re bought by that lizard, but I think you’re a good guy. You just don’t know all the facts!”
“Which are?”
The guy leaned closer to him and lowered his voice to a dramatic whisper. “Neuvillette is an evil dragon!”
Wriothesley choked on a laughter, which was way too obvious to turn into cough even for the dunce this stupid. 
“No, you don't understand! Dragons were enemies of humanity that Celestia conquered. But they come back when killed! They reincarnate! He is a hydro dragon who was reborn in a human form so he could more easily trick us!”
Wriothesley blinked, remembering Neuvillette standing under the rain, and the old children’s song. “Hydro dragon, Hydro dragon, don’t cry….”
“He put our rightful archon Furina on that trial, right? No one else saw the verdict, so he pretended she was declared guilty. He forced her to abdicate and took the power for himself!”
Wriothesley realized long ago that Neuvilette, of course, was not human. It was clear to any idiot who talked to him for longer than a minute in an informal setting, not to mention a lifespan of at least five hundred years. But there were a lot of options other than “evil dragon”. There were old gods who did not receive archonhood, but instead decided to serve the archon, like Liyue’s adepti, and he always assumed Neuvillette was of the same kind. But the idea that Iudex was some kind of evil monster with a grudge against humanity was ridiculous. Especially when he showed up at the Fortress and saved the entire Fountaine and Wriothesley’s own hide from the flood.
“Really?”
“Yeah! We should restore our true archon Furina to her rightful throne!”
Furina’s insurrection? Interesting. Wouldn’t peg her for someone capable of this type of conspiracy.
“And did Furina herself give us her blessing?”
“She can’t speak publicly, as this monster threatens her.”
Hmm, inconclusive on Furina’s involvement.
He spent more time with the drunk Jacque, trying to get more details, but couldn’t get much more than unhinged ramblings on how evil the dragons are and how insidious it was for a dragon to pretend to be a human. He had to leave to prepare to Neuvillette's arrival the next day.
_____
Neuvillette stepped out of Opera Epiclese into the rain and slowed down his pace to prolong the sensation. It was a bit of what humans called guilty pleasure, as he felt guilty from inflicting rain on humans for his own pleasure. Though from his understanding, humans felt guilty because they saw this pleasure as something bad for themselves. Even if often this supposed harm made no sense to Neuvillette. Eating too much food until a human's stomach hurt was at least understandable to see as such, but he heard one of palais’ secretaries say that romance novels were her guilty pleasure. How could humans feel guilty for something as simple as reading? He stopped and asked her why she would feel guilty for reading, because melusines kept telling him that socializing with humans is very easy, you just need to ask them questions about themselves and let them talk about what they like. Well, it didn’t seem to work, as the secretary stumbled, started hyperventilating and emanated levels of panic and anxiety comparable to someone in the defendant’s chair. Sensing human emotions did not actually help Neuvillette in communicating with them, as he could not discern the reasons. He asked her if she perhaps came into possession of any cursed texts? He could generally sense the stench of corruption and there was nothing on her, but there was always a possibility that it was a curse he could not register. She panicked even more and vehemently denied. At this point he decided to give up on socializing, as it was obviously very distressing for humans, but felt obliged to tell her that if she ever did read anything she felt was cursed, to inform him. He hoped it would assuage her fear of reading. She thanked him, stuttering, and after that day avoided him at all costs. 
The rain was a compromise solution in any case. Neuvillette always felt a bit strained and uncomfortable in his body, but after obtaining full dragonhood and most of the memories of past lives, the human shape felt downright stifling. He now remembered thousands of years of being something much bigger, long coils that could easily crush the spire of Opera Epiclese. Now, when he looked at his own reflection, it was hard to comprehend that this small and ridiculous frame was actually him. In addition, all of his memories and instincts called him to be submerged in water. But even with his poor understanding of humans, he realized that seeing the Iudex floating in the river would alarm humans much more than him standing under the rain. So rain was the closest solution he could get at his position. 
He summoned rain instinctively, to be as close to engulfed in water as possible. It was a bit embarrassing that even humans noticed it and composed a rhyme, even if that rhyme was inaccurate. He didn’t cry, as vishaps didn’t cry at all and even his current human shaped body didn’t have tear ducts. The closest he could pinpoint to human experience, as he understood it, was being stressed and desire to be comforted, for which water was his best remedy.
And currently he was quite stressed, looking over the Fontaine laws in an attempt to revise them. The current system that treated justice as theater was clearly imperfect, which he realized long ago. But he never saw himself as authorized to change it, as humans were the responsibility of the archon and even without it, he was well aware he didn’t understand humans, so he knew it wasn’t his place to question the human justice system, to which he was only a temporary guest. But now, as fontanias became part of Teyvat after his decision, and so, a part of his responsibility as Teyvat’s god of life, even if the usurper tried to deny him, he couldn’t ignore the need for change any longer. The problem was that he did not understand humans any better, so it was very stressful to try and restructure their systems of governance. 
He extended a hand, catching raindrops on his palm, when he noticed a silhouette near the elevator to the Fortress, and stopped himself from visibly controlling the weather. 
Wriothesley caught his eyes and grinned, approaching him at brisk pace, umbrella over his head.
“Greetings, Monsieur.”
“Good morning, Your Grace.”
Wriothesley always somehow managed to make a “Monsieur” sound more impactful than Neuvillette could “Your Grace”, despite one being a noble title and another just a polite greeting. 
“Would you like to…?” Wriothesley extended his arm with an umbrella, without actually covering Neuvillette with it. In the past, as a part of playing a role of “normal human”, Neuvillette accepted such offers, though there were not many aside from Wriothesley who dared to approach him with it. But now, as he was a full-fledged dragon, at the height of his power and influence in this land, surely he could afford to discard this role? Surely he could afford to be himself at least in this?
“No, thank you,” he said, smiling and trying to sound as cordial as possible, so that Wriothesley would not think it was a slight against him personally. “Don’t take it as offense, but I actually like being under the rain.”
The Duke smiled back, shaking his head.
“No offense taken, but why didn’t you say it last time? I felt like an idiot forcing you under an umbrella.”
“Really?” Neuvillette perked up, falling in step with the human. “You could tell that I…”
“Hated it? Yeah, for sure.”
“....prefered not to have an umbrella.”
Wriothesley let out a low, guttural bark of laughter that somehow got to the dragon despite him not being interested in humans in general.
“Not only I could tell I disturbed you, but I had to walk on the flowerbed to get to you, and then I trailed dirt in the Palais while everyone here glared at me for the audacity. Meanwhile you walked on the same dirt, but stayed pristine!”
“I’m sorry for…”
“Hey, don’t apologize. I’m just kidding, don’t worry.”
Neuvillette met the greyish blue eyes of thawed ice directly and sensed that he was truly not bothered, which didn’t make much sense. But Wriothesley was one of the very few humans who was not scared in the dragon’s presence. He was, probably, the only one who emanated only positive emotions at their meetings. Neuvillette mostly encountered negative reactions in his daily life at the trials, so he could not tell apart which positive feelings exactly that he read from Wriothesley due to the lack of exposure. But perhaps…
“I wouldn’t want you to feel unwelcome at the Palais,” Neuvillette said after a short pause.
Wriothesley grinned with a careless shrug.
“Then I will be there, even if the rest of your bureaucrats make faces. As I said, don’t worry.”
Neuvilette frowned, but didn’t see much point in pressing this further. After a confrontation with Navia, the dragon realized that his lack of understanding of humans hindered him, instead of making him truly impartial. Especially now that he was de facto in charge of the entire Fontaine government. And practice showed that only direct interaction with humans could give valuable experience, as watching from the Iudex seat did not allow him a nuanced understanding. 
So perhaps, if Wriothesley was a rare human who was not scared of him, and he proved rational and trustworthy in the years they knew each other, Neuvillette could confide in his true nature and maybe ask for advice in understanding humanity?
“Perhaps staying for some tea would make up for this past offense?”
Wriothesley stumbled for a moment.
“Seriously?” He sounded as casual and ironic as usual, but the surprised burst of positive emotions from him was bright and obvious. “After all these years you finally decided to deign my humble office with your presence?”
“It’d be a completely unofficial visit, of course.”
“Sure, sure. It was never my secret plot to bribe you with a tea party, trust me, even I realize my tea is not that good.”
His voice was ironic, but for a moment Neuvillette could see his crooked grin turn into a genuine smile. So, reassured that he was not imposing, Iudex nodded and followed the human into the Fortress’ entrance.
_________
The inspection itself was mostly a formality. The Court of Fontaine technically had no direct authority over Meripode, but it provided guards and substantial resources, and so it had a right to oversee the use of these assets. The actual budgeting was done on the regular in behind the scenes reports though, as the data was not visible in the in person visit. Still, it was a time honored tradition that got Neuvilette to show up regularly.
“Take a seat. It will take me a minute to make tea.”
Neuvilette gracefully sat down on the visitor’s chair In Wriothesley office, folding his hands on the cane. He still sat with a ramrod straight back and perfect posture, but there was a certain lightness to him today, which was hard to put into words. 
“The inspection is over, yet you are still nervous.”
Wriothesley knew he had a poker face good enough to cover it, yet Neuvillette saw it anyway. He had theorized for a long time that the Iudex could sense emotions, but usually he would not acknowledge it directly like this. “I wasn't nervous about the inspection to begin with. But inviting a high and mighty Iudex himself to the tea for years and then disappointing him when he finally accepts would be a devastating faux de pas. They will mock me on the first pages of all the papers tomorrow.”
Neuvillette frowned slightly.
“I must underline that I’m not here in any official capacity, and I would hope I’m talking to Wriothesley, not the Warden or the Duke. If you agree, I would ask that we leave the titles at the door.”
“No, of course,” Wriothesley, who had fantasized about leaving titles at the door and then clothes on the floor for actual years, said quickly, frantically recalculating how he could turn the tea party to wine tasting, which best wines he had confiscated in his storage and how he could make turning on the gramophone and then maybe leaning against the edge of the table in front of Neuvillette look natural and smooth. “Absolutely. I was just joking anyway, don’t mind it.”
“Ah, I see. I apologize, I’m unfortunately prone to missing humorous intent, so I appreciate your clarification.”
With how far the Iudex went out of his way to assure people of his good intentions in informal situations, Wriothesley really didn’t understand how everyone found him so intimidating. Especially because he very often had to interact with assholes in positions of power who did try to intimidate him on purpose and the contrast was very apparent. Neuvillette projected an aura of power without really wanting to, and then tried to over-explain himself to make others feel at ease. His earnest awkwardness was something like the clumsiness of a huge beast like an elephant trying not to step on the gaggle of kittens at his feet.
“In any case, there is nothing to be nervous about. After all, tea is liquid, and it’s really hard to make liquids unpleasant. So far I think only Fonta truly managed it.” Neuvillette drummed his fingers on the table and glanced at Wriothesley. “To be frank, if crimes against water could be prosecuted, Fonta would receive life in prison.”
Wriothesley snorted. “So no sugar in your tea, I take it?”
“No, thank you,” Iudex said politely and then, after a short pause, “And to clarify, I was not serious. There is nothing wrong with people liking sugary drinks, of course. I was just making an attempt at a joke.”
He really was horrendously bad at pretending to be a human. How could anyone hear him talk and still believe he’s a scheming manipulator was beyond ridiculous.
“No, I got it. It was a good joke,” The Duke grinned, placing a teacup in front of Neuvillette and sitting down across the table with his own.
Neuvillette gave him a graceful nod with a little smile and picked up his cup, giving it a swirl before tasting.
“Hmm. Interesting. Poignant. Bitter,” he said thoughtfully, tilting his head. 
Wriothesley was about to mention that this sort was not usually bitter, but Iudex continued. 
“Not by nature, but forced by circumstances. Not nearly enough water to be nourished, so it had to adapt and conserve strength, letting leaves seen as unimportant to die and concentrate on survival of the main branches. But there is not just hunger… there is a dream of rain. An ache of something not ever known, but yearned, longed for, without realizing what it is. But then…” Neuvillette closed his eyes for a moment. “It happened. There is a memory of luminous joy of water not gathered by mere drops, but drank in full, overwhelming, a feast after a life of fighting for scraps of morning dew. It had tasted rain at least once in the end.”
Wriothesley put his own cup down, leaning forward in disbelief.
“No way. This was a harvest from a drought year and it’s normally a mild sort, considered unusually strong in this season. How could you know this? Are you cheating?”
“You’re welcome to test me with other samples,” Neuvillette said with an air of a magnanimous ruler granting a boon and put the teacup down with a delicate clink. 
“Oh, I’m taking you up on your word, trust me,” the Duke grinned, but then paused. He didn’t want to spoil the mood, but he remembered how strongly Neuvillette felt about the perceived melusines conspiracy. Wriothesley had to tell him about the evil dragon idiots just to make sure he’s not thrown off balance later. That’s what the guard dogs are for, after all.
“Actually, before we move forward with testing your psychic tea reading abilities, there is something concerning official business that I think you should know. And then we can forget it completely.”
Neuvillette inclined his head with a small smile.
“There is a small group of conspirators, - and I must reiterate, it’s very small - who operate on the ridiculous idea that… uh, that you’re some kind of an evil dragon who schemed to overthrow Furina.”
Neuvillette's smile froze.
“You don’t have to worry about it, really. It’s negligibly small, and well, anyone with a working brain would not believe that you’re a monster in disguise.”
Iudex was silent for some time, not meeting Wriothesley’s eyes.
“Are melusines implicated in this?” he said finally.
“No. No, there’s no connection to them in this stupid theory.”
“Good. That's good. They do love living with humans so much.”
Wriothesley suspected that Iudex was taking things kind of out of proportion again.
“Listen, it’s really nothing…”
“No, no, I understand. It would be so unacceptably horrifying for humans to learn their ruler is a… monster.”
Neuvillette's voice wavered, but his face was impartial, strict, previous lightness gone completely. Wriothesley saw his hands tighten their grip on the handle of his cane a moment before he abruptly stood up.
“I must apologize for impropriety, but I have important business in the Palais which was inappropriate for me to neglect for so long. I must beg your leave to depart.”
Wriothesley stood up too, scraping to understand what he did wrong.
“Wait, it’s not…”
“Thank you for your time, Your Grace.”
Wriothesley shut his mouth, the title feeling like a slap for the first time in his life. The formality and politeness somehow only made it worse. He took a deep breath and willed himself to sound calm.
“I hope you have a nice evening, Monsieur Iudex.”
Neuvillette left in what for his usual dignified pace could be considered a hurry. Wriothesley followed him without being seen, partly to make sure he doesn’t get bothered by inmates and partly on an instinct to investigate. 
At the Fortress’ entrance, he watched Neuvillette walk under the rain, lifting his head upward. The blue strands of his long hair glowed and so did his coat-tails. They extended, shining brilliant bioluminescent blue, trailing behind the Chief Justice, in a moment looking like fish’s fins, then the next - as colossal snake’s coils. Sea waves crashed against the ridge without any wind, rising high, reaching to a lonely glowing figure of Iudex. With bated breath, Wriothesley watched Neuvillette extend a hand, as if catching raindrops - and rain stopped mid-flight in the air, lingering over his palm, waves frozen cresting over the earth. The raindrops gathered in a shuddering spheres, and then stretched upwards, against all laws of gravity.  Wriothesley’s heart skipped a beat as Neuvillette closed his fist and the rain flew backwards to the skies.
Wriothesley stormed back into his office and frantically searched through the reports, pages flying about, until he found the one about vishaps. He looked at the photos, seeing similarities he would never look for before. The dark blue color of vishap’s hide was nearly identical to Neuvillette’s attire, but that was small beans, easily written off as coincidence. Their eyes, bright magenta with white vertical slice of a pupil, resembled Iudex, but there was room for debate, as his eyes were much paler, lilac merging into gentle blue instead of a bright pink, even as white vertical pupil was so similar. What really struck Wriothesley after all this, was actually the little blue feather at the side of the head of both vishaps and Neuvillette. It was identical and looked so… deliberate. It had to be chosen and placed precisely like this. 
Still, this was not enough. He needed more evidence. He needed… he needed answers.
He walked to Jacque's block as quickly as he could without alarming inmates, but when he got to the conspirator’s room, Jacque was sleeping on the bed and a man was sitting on the chair next to him, reading a book. He looked up when Wriothesley walked in and stood up, clumsily dropping the book. He was tall and gangly, had dark hair, Inazuman features and light brown eyes behind the glasses. 
“Who are you?” Wriothesley was really not in the mood for playing games.
“Well, my organization caught wind that you are interested in learning some… historical information, and our poor Jacque is really not the best source, which is why I’m here to answer any questions you have,” the man gave him a groveling smile. “You can call me Enjou.”
“Not here. In my office. Follow me.”
When they got there, Enjou whistled musingly.
“Uh, what a nice office! Must be a pretty sweet gig. I wish I had an office instead of slinking in dump ruins all the time.” He sighed theatrically. “So, I assume your main questions are on the vishap situation. I…”
“Wait,” Wriothesley said, walking up to one of his wall cabinets. “You can’t expect me to just believe you on your word.”
“Oh, of course, of course! You’re free to rough me up a bit first. Maybe a little bit of torture? But only a little bit, I’ve got a glass jaw, haha!”
Wriothesley didn’t live so long as an undisputed champion of fight club to not recognize a freak who gets off on pain. He grimaced, walking up to the table where Enjou was already trying to rifle through the papers. He stopped with an apologetic grin and put his hands up. Wriothesley put a glass vial on the table.
“Drink.”
Enjou raised his eyebrows.
“Are we dining and wining first or?...”
“It’s a truth serum,” it was a secret project of the Sumeru Akademiya, before the sages were overthrown. Dendro Archon reportedly could read the thoughts of people, and sages were trying to replicate the effect at least partially. Wriothesley came into possession of it after using his network to get the sages connected to the needed people in Fontaine institute, as Fontaine was at the cutting edge of mech technology and the sages were apparently building an artificial god. Didn’t pan out for them, but the serum worked. Wriothesley was sure of it, because he tried it on himself first.
“Oh! How exciting! How does it work? Will it perhaps burn my insides in agonizing pain if I lie?”
“Drink,” Wriothesley said through gritted teeth.
Enjou smiled and drank the vial in one shot.
“Well, nothing is burning so far, but the evening is young, haha,” he said, smacking his lips.
Wriothesley took a deep breath.
“Why are you here?”
“Huh? What do you mean? To explain the history to you, as I said.”
“Because of the goodness of your heart? What’s your agenda? Your goal?”
Enhou cleared his throat.
“Well, first of all, I do believe in uncovering and spreading so-called “forbidden” knowledge. But with your particular case can you really question my agenda? I didn’t come to you first. You were the one who sought us out. I didn’t even want to be here! I was doing my own thing without knowing about you, to be honest! But, well, I am in an organization with some unfortunate morons who thought that recruiting a convenient idiot and then sending him into underworld prison to make sure he isn’t heard is a great plan. And then when the Warden takes note of the idiot and gets him to blabber, these same morons go, Enjou, you have to get there, because you’re a vishap expert! Ugh.” 
Enjou shook his head in seemingly sincere frustration.
“But um, yeah, I’m not trying to recruit you or anything. We know how you’ve disposed of House of Hearth agents and how you generally obstruct Fatui’s activity, and we just don't want you to do the same to us. Because we’re not your enemy! So I’m here to provide you with the necessary context to see that.”
Wriothesley drummed his fingers on the table.
“Okay. Start talking about Neuvilette and vishaps.”
“Well, Neuvilette is a Hydro Dragon, that should be obvious. To clarify, Hydro Dragon here means Hydro Dragon Sovereign, because technically all hydro vishaps are hydro dragons. If you didn’t know, which is understandable, as you’re more of a fighter type and not a bookworm like myself, haha, vishaps are primordial elemental creatures, original rulers of this land and mortal foes of humanity. Long before Archons, there were Dragon Sovereigns in charge of each element. Then there was a war with Celestia, specifics of which are not widely known, but we do know that Celestia won, dragons were largely eradicated and the huge chunks of powers of Sovereigns were taken from them and given to the Archons. Hydro Sovereign was killed.” 
Enjou made a dramatic pause, before leaning forward with a grin. “But you see, vishaps reincarnate. Neuvillette is a Hydro Sovereign reborn in a human shape. There was actually an Inazuman prophecy about it, recorded in the Byakuyakoku Collection. That Hydro Dragon will descend in a human form, and it specifically mentions a cane. This really baffles me, to be honest. How could they predict the cane? Why does he even need a cane? Surely not because of any weakness, he’s an immortal dragon, 500 years is very young for him. And the records say when Neuvilette took his position as the Iudex some 400 years ago, he already had a cane. Was he born with it? Like, had he sprung fully formed, with a cane? Did he pick it up as, I don't know, honorary agreement with a prophecy? Or were his fashion choices actually predetermined to the degree that the prophecy knew them millenia ago?”
“Get back on track,” Wriothesley growled.
“Oh, sorry. Hmm, this serum works by forcing you to spell your thoughts out loud, yes? Well, then it’s not my fault I’m even more blabbering than usual!”
Wriothesley clasped his hands together and said slowly, carefully watching Inazuman’s reaction. “Even if he is a hydro sovereign dragon, as you say, this alone does not make him evil, as your conspiracy claims.”
Enjou fixed his glasses. He really had the hands of a bookworm, no work calluses or fighting scars. But there were spots of reddened, peeling skin that looked like burns that didn’t get to fully heal before getting burned again.
“Did you miss the “mortal foe of humanity” bit? But okay, sure. This is Fontaine after all, presumption of innocence and all that. I mean, I can’t read his thoughts to tell you under oath that he’s evil, so don’t take me to court, hehe!” Enjou grinned, clearly pleased at his own joke. “But I can tell what I know and ask some questions. My first question is why, after losing a war and presumably being killed by Celestia, would an ancient dragon god want to serve a servant of Celestia? The Archon, who rules with what is actually his own power? Unless he had some sort of agenda, perhaps? And come to think of it, why would Hydro Archon put a mortal foe of humanity into a position of such institutional power?”
“Are you implying Neuvilette forced Furina to give him the position of Iudex?”
“Well, I wasn’t here!” Enjou raised his hands defensively. “But why else would he become the Iudex?”
“There are higher beings and gods serving archons in other nations. Like Liyue adepti serving Rex Lapis.”
“Morax was known as the prime of the adepti. None of them could compare with him at strength. Same with yokai and Baal in Inazuma, she was the strongest by far. It’s natural that they would accept servitude. But here…” Enjou glanced at Wriothesley with a sly smile. “If you had to make a bet on a direct fight between Neuvillette and Furina, who would you bet on? Come on, I know tales that her own court would not listen to her until the Iudex tapped his cane.”
Wriothesley couldn’t really argue with this. When the Primordial Sea started breaking out, he himself sent for Neuvillette and didn’t even think to ask the actual Archon.
“In that case, why didn’t he just kill her immediately? Why would he play the judge?”
“Well, you see, he would not get his power back from just killing her. It would just pass to the next Archon. No, the Hydro Archon had to destroy her own throne. And running out the ruler requires a long game, as you know very well yourself, You Grace.”
Wriothesley kept a calm face, but something must have given him away, as Enjou grinned predatorily.
“Next set of facts and questions. You know of the infamous Archon trial, of course? When it was revealed that fontanian people are actually oceanids, given human shape by the previous hydro archon, Egeria? And the prophecy of the flood works because Primordial Sea waters dissolve fontanians into their oceanid forms. Well, the flood actually came. Why were fontanians not dissolved?”
“I’m sure you’ll tell me that.”
“Hehe, yes. It was because Neuvillette turned them into real humans with his powers of Hydro Sovereign. How generous of him, yeah? The question is, why did it take him so long? It’s been 500 years, and yet fontanians were made human only minutes before the flood.”
Despite a feeble bookworm posturing, there was a shadow of unhinged madness in his eyes, dangerous enough that in any other case Wriothesley would cut contact. But the stakes were too high right now. He needed to get all the information he could out of this lunatic.
“You might also remember that on the same trial it was proven that Furina is not a Hydro Archon. And I can tell you that the actual Archon, Focalors, was in the Oracle machine the whole time. Sorry, I’m not even trying to pronounce that full name, haha!”
The urge to punch this bastard was overwhelming, but Wriothesley kept himself in check, mostly because he could tell he was being baited into it and he didn’t want to give the piece of shit the satisfaction.
“Anyway, Neuvilette had an audience with her right after a trial, and as result she killed herself and gave him power back. You see, Hydro Archon doesn’t have the ability to turn oceanids into real humans. All of you were just… things, playing at being humans,” Enjou said with a smirk that looked more fascinated than mocking. “But Hydro Sovereign, the original god of life, does have the power to do so. And he also, conveniently, has control over the Primordial Sea, which you, Your Grace, already know as he stopped the flood in your own Fortress.”
Wriothesley raised an eyebrow and Enjou smiled with a shrug.
“Again, I was not there! But I do know Hydro Sovereign controls the Primordial Sea, and that there is an entrance to the Sea in the Meripode Fortress. I also know that there was some emergency in the Fortress, where inmates were told to run as close to the surface as possible, and then Monsieur Iudex visited and the disaster was somehow avoided.”
Wriothesley frowned. 
“If he was really a mortal enemy of humanity, why wouldn’t he just let the gates of Meripode break and the flood happen right there and then? We would all be gone and he wouldn’t need to lift a finger. Instead he ran to help when I… when the Fortress called.”
“And what would that achieve? He still wouldn’t get his power back,” Enjou shrugged dismissively and then smiled, almost wistfully. 
“No, you know what I would do if *I* was the Hydro Sovereign with an ability to take human form? And if the Archon who held my power hostage was relatively weak AND had the prophecy involving a flood of the Sea I control? Well, I’d infiltrate human society, take a position of high authority and make sure the humans not only see me as the personification of law and justice, but also respect me more than their own Archon. And when the prophecy deadline is coming up, I’d make sure I have people loyal to me in some key positions. Such as Royal Duelist… and the Warden of the Fortress.”
“He didn’t make me the Warden,” Wriothesley gritted out. 
“No, but he did make you the Duke, didn’t he?” Enjou smirked with a wink. “Our sources say the Court was not thrilled to give the highest noble title to you. And if the Iudex did not throw his own weight behind it, it would have never come to pass. How generous of him.”
It was true, Wriothesley’s own informants reported that the Court loathed to give him a title, let alone as high as the Duke. Neuvillette was the only one who fought for him and fought hard, because usually Iudex’s one word was enough to make a decision, but here the stalemate lasted for two months. They wanted to compromise and give him the viscount, but Iudex wouldn’t budge, so in the end, they caved.
Wriothesley never asked Neuvillette for the title. Neuvillette never mentioned what he did for the Warden and never dropped anything even as close as a hint of asking anything in return.
Unless you see it as a part of centuries long game, where mundane favors didn’t matter, but being called first to the access of the Primordial Sea did.
“Ah, you’re starting to get it, don’t you?” Enjou sensed blood in the water, like a proper shark would. “Then I would orchestrate a public court hearing to absolutely discredit the current ruler and corner the actual Archon. And when Focalors is forced to talk to me…. I would make a bargain. Saving the lives of all fontanians in exchange of getting my full power back and Focalors dying. Isn't it ironic that the dragon playing human was the one to turn human-shaped water things into actual humans?"
Enjou leaned back against his chair, grinning with satisfaction.
“And then I’d have an entire country loyal to me as a ruler, which would make a great foothold to use for attacking Celestia.”
Wriothesley took a deep breath.
“You really expect me to take you on your word? You might believe it yourself, which will pass the truth serum, but the word of a lunatic is not evidence.”
“Oh, of course not! I would never expect you to take my lowly word for it. Instead, why don’t you take Monsieur Iudex’s word?”
Enjou made a dramatic gesture of spilling a heap of conches onto the table. Wriothesley raised his eyebrows, when the other man poked one of them awkwardly.
“Now that I have reclaimed one of the Seven Authorities from the hands of the usurpers, I have regained my true form,” a calm voice that was undoubtedly Neuvillette, said out of nowhere. “I am now a fully fledged dragon, powerful enough to judge the rest of the gods. My final destiny is to judge the Usurper-King in the heavens above.”
“This could be faked,” Wriothesley said automatically, just to argue, but his heart already fell.
“You wound me! These are his words, and I spent an entire night fishing them out for you, I’ll have you know. It’s quite hard to capture this. You’re welcome to listen to all of them and see for yourself.”
Almost against his will, Wriothesley reached out and touched one of the conches.
“…I shall fulfill my vow to judge all of The Seven in turn, even if the sky should fall and the ground give way.”
Wriothesley took an abrupt breath through his teeth. Enjou sighed and stood up.
“I think it’s better for you to listen to this alone. After, you’re welcome to reach out to us, but please don’t make any hasty decisions. I’ll see you soon, Your Grace!”
Enjou walked down the stairs, and by the time Wriothesley got to them, there was no one there. The Duke couldn’t bring himself to focus on that though. Instead, he walked up to one of the wall cabinets and took out a bottle of whiskey he was saving up as a possible gift.
He didn’t bother with the glass. He fell down into the chair in front of the conches and clenched his fingers on the bottle, icy veins springing up from under them. He took a sip and touched another conch.
“…my grievances with the usurpers have yet to be settled... They owe a debt of blood that shall not be forgotten.”
He drank, staring blindly into the distance, and listened, and the quiet words burned worse than whiskey sliding down his throat. He caught himself on a familiar thought. “This can’t be happening. This is too monstrous.” The same feverish thoughts he had when he discovered the truth about his foster parents.
As if by now he shouldn’t have learned that nothing is too monstrous in this world.
“As a survivor of the dragon race who has regained my full dragonhood, I must fulfill my oath and obligations even if it means returning all the water in the oceans back to the heavens.”
It really did sound exactly like Neuvillette. Wriothesley tried to find the lie, something that sounded fake, but not only the voice, but the cadence and word choice fit. And it sounded calm, impartial as usual too. And then there were hydro vishaps appearing in Erinnyes…
Fuck, was it really that easy to fool him? Was he really this big of a fool? He learned to distrust sweet words and warm smiles, and he was so sure that he wouldn’t get caught in the same lies ever again, even if he sacrificed his ability to love for this. But all it took was a seeming opposite, direct and harsh, too cold and intimidating to appear manipulative, but endearingly awkward just sometimes, just enough to make him believe that… That there was something true and clear in this rotten world. That he could trust in *someone*.
“Nothing will stop me from rendering judgment on each of The Seven.” 
He went through all of the recordings, frantically at first, wanting to find contradictions, then, when none were found, numbly re-listening to the few that hit the worst.
“…also the destroyer of the present order, the one who shall judge all gods, and the foe of humanity. “
Wasn’t it too obvious in hindsight? Why would the Iudex stake his own reputation on Wriothesley’s title? How could you not see it coming? Oh, because you thought you “deserve” it for turning this dog-fighting pit of a prison into something with a modicum of fairness? Because you thought he recognized your redemption? Gods, what are you, fucking fourteen again, did you learn nothing, why would anyone ever care about you, you naive goddamn idiot?
Soon, the bottle was somehow almost done. At this point he was running one recording on repeat, mindless and purposeless except for repeating slashes of pain, familiar rhythm like the knife on his wrists years ago.
"Hydro Dragon, Hydro Dragon, don't cry." Whoever had penned that rhyme, as well as the Fontainians who came to believe in it, must not have known the Hydro Dragon all that well, considering that they thought the Hydro Dragon could cry. What did they take said Dragon for, some sort of bleeding heart who grieved for humans and the heavens alike?”
If this was true… If this was true, then Wriothesley didn’t just get fooled himself. Then he helped a monster take control of the country and potentially use it in war against heavens. 
He clenched his hand and it took him a moment to realize he broke the bottle he was holding in it. That pain from glass pieces in his palm felt small and distant now. But at last, it spurned him into action.
If this was true, he only had one shot. He’d already told Neuvillette of the dragon conspiracy, like a good little idiot eager to please. And any tyrant worth his salt would make sure to take him out after his, especially now that he outlived his purpose in giving access to Meripode vaults. He might have some time because of how oblivious he was, dismissing the conspiracy openly, but it couldn’t be long. 
He couldn’t take his time. He couldn’t hope for the better. He had to act like it’s the worst option possible. More than anything, he needed to confront Neuvillette, dragon Sovereign or not. He had to fix this, no matter the cost.
He realized he needed leverage. Brute strength was out of the question. Even before the flood, Neuvillette absolutely destroyed Fatui Harbinger in one flash, quicker than anyone in the audience could see what happened. Wriothesley would put himself against Harbringer with no hesitation, but he wasn’t an idiot. If this was how powerful Iudex was before, then after allegedly gaining his full power, there was no way Wriothesley could threaten him. No, he needed something else.
He took out the paper and wrote a note, taking care to not stain it with blood. Fortunately, he held the bottle in his left hand, so he could keep it out of the way.
“....and so confess that I, Wriothesley, Warden of the Fortress of Meripode, killed Chief Justice, Iudex Neuvillette.”
He finished the note and carefully put in his signature, then folded the paper into an envelope and closed it with his personal seal. Then he walked up to a safe, one of the hidden ones, and punched in a code. When the safe opened, he rummaged in it for a moment, until finally taking out two vials.
This was sold to him as the poison that could kill a god.
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blacklegsanjiii · 5 months
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Sanji would have made a good Shirohige Pirate.
I genuinely believe that.
If a subordinate captain rescued him and Zeff and told Sanji all about Thatch and his cooking and how much care he puts into his food? Sanji would have liked to meet him and Zeff having just lost a leg and realistically he's in no shape to take care of the brat. He loves him and Sanji loves him back so the captain promises to come back with whoever's denden number because there might be a quick scuffle over the kid.
Marco gets first dibs on the kid as the Chief Medical Officer and first notes that he's too skinny for him to have just been starving on the rock. He writes up a meal plan for Thatch to make for the kid and goes to pat Sanji and notes the immediate flinch. Now Marco has to figure out how to do a psych eval without the kid knowing it's a psych eval because Sanji is tight lipped except for talking about Zeff.
White Beard would love the kid because he's got a mouth and even though he's scared shitless he's not afraid to bite. He's so desperate for love and White Beard is known for making kids live him but Sanji needs comfort and held and he's just small that he fits so wonderfully on White Beard's shoulders.
Thatch gets a new shadow in his galley. Sanji is talented and hard working. He tells Sanji all about being the fourth commander and the head cook for the fleet. He follows Marco's meal plan for Sanji and explains to him the reason he's making it the way he is, the care he's putting into it, the nutrition behind it. Sanji hangs onto his every word.
He visits Zeff, helps him out as he grows but he's a Shirohige Pirate and wears a patch on all his chef coats and has a tattoo on his hand that's how devoted he is. He doesn't use his hands to fight, still takes after Zeff with his fighting style which is encouraged.
When he meets Ace he's not happy he's being held prisoner but he did try to assassinate the old man. He hates the memories it brings up so he makes sure to feed Ace plenty and Thatch teases him about flirting with the enemy. Sanji is flushed and stuttering and White Beard is absolutely laughing at him and leave him alone, old man!
When Ace joins officially finally they throw a party. Again when Ace comes up as the second commander. He tells Sanji all about his brothers, Foosha, meeting Shanks. Sanji tells him about Zeff and growing up with the fleet in exchange.
He actually becomes the main cook for Ace and when Thatch dies? He's absolutely bitter about it and joins Ace in his hunt, he gets dropped off at Baratie suddenly half of Baratie is destroyed and there, in all his straw hat glory is Luffy. Sanji is worried about the New World. He knows Ace and having just seen Luffy he calls Marco to update his will immediately.
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soft-mafia · 8 months
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Meeting Shanks Headcanons [Buggy x Reader]
warnings: fem reader, fluffy crack, Buggy screaming
a/n: ok enough with my shenanigans, here’s some real Buggy content from me since I’ve been slacking and shit posting.
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I’m a firm believer that Buggy would not want Shanks to meet his girlfriend bc he’s convinced he’d take her from him.
It would start off as just a regular morning, Buggy waking up all groggy, stomping up to the deck while scratching his lower back.
He goes up to Cabaji and asks him where Y/n is, usually she’s laying in bed sleeping next to him— she’d always wake up later.
Y/n was a heavy sleeper and no matter how many times Buggy tried to wake her up she wouldn’t budge so he eventually just let her be. But today she wasn’t there.
“Oh yeah, she’s talking to your pal Shanks over there.” The pirate chief of staff said, nodding his head over to Y/n. “Hm?” Buggy grunted lightly as he looked over, “Alright.” At first Cabaji’s words didn’t process in his mind, but before he took a step, he had to double take; his eyes suddenly widened when he saw the red head in particular.
“SHANKS?!” Buggy screamed, all of his parts becoming detached at one time, his floating hands then grabbed Cabaji by the shoulders and began shaking him violently, “HOW DID HE GET ON THE SHIP?! AND WHO THE HELL LET HIM NEAR Y/N?!”
The acrobat felt like he was getting whiplash with the captain shaking him around so much, “He said he was your friend!!”
“WHAT?!” Buggy growled, his parts popped back into place again as he glared back in the direction of Shanks. They were talking.. he couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but that damn Shanks was making Y/n laugh. Buggy began to panic.
“Hard to believe that out of the both of us it’s Buggy who managed to bag a girl.” Shanks laughed, “Are you sure you’re not being held hostage?” He joked, making Y/n laugh some more. “Oh no! Buggy is so sweet, you have no idea!” She giggled, “I was actually the one that came up to him first and he- Buggy? AHHH!!” Y/n screamed as Buggy quickly threw a potato sack over her, completely engulfing her in it before throwing it over his shoulder.
He growled and stuck a finger into Shank’s chest, his torso detaching so he could look down at him, “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TALKING TO MY GIRL?! You’re trying to steal her from me aren’t you?! Just like you stole my chances at becoming the richest man in the world!!!”
Shanks just laughed at Buggy’s accusations, “Still haven’t changed one bit, huh? Y/n’s a real looker, you’re a lucky guy I’ll tell you that!” Shanks grinned and playfully slapped Buggy on the shoulder.
Y/n was thrashing around in the potato sack, screaming and cursing, “BUGGY WHAT THE FUCK?! ARE YOU CRAZY?! LET ME OUT, IT FUCKING STINKS IN HERE!!”
Buggy snarled at Shanks, “Don’t play that game with me, I know what you’re trying to do!! Don’t think for a second I’ll let you anywhere near Y/n!!”
Y/n finally found a way to bust out of the sack, she then growled and grabbed Buggy’s floating torso, turning it to face her so she could yell in his face, “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!” She yelled. “WHY THE HELL WERE YOU TALKING TO SHANKS?!” Buggy growled back at her.
“AM I NOT ALLOWED TO TALK TO PEOPLE ANYMORE?! You’re acting like I sucked his dick or something!!” Y/n shouted.
“OH SO YOU WANNA SUCK HIS DICK NOW?!”
“THATS NOT WHAT I SAID, BUGGY, AND YOU KNOW IT!!” Y/n and Buggy’s foreheads were pressed together as they bickered at each other.
Shanks just ran a hand through his hair and snickered, “C’mon Buggy, I didn’t mean to cause any trouble.. Why don’t we have a few drinks and we can catch up?”
Y/n and Shanks agree on the drinks, but Buggy is still grumbling and wary of Shanks’ intentions with his girl.
However, once Buggy is drunk enough, he loosens up, sitting on his throne with Y/n on his lap, Shanks sitting in a chair across from them with a table loaded with food right in the middle.
The two men reminisce about their adventures from the past(Buggy obviously exaggerating some parts to impress Y/n, insert Shanks butting in to correct Buggy and embarrass him.)
As it gets late, Buggy drunkenly let Shanks rest on the ship until morning.
However, as soon as Buggy got over his hangover and found Shanks still on the Big Top(no memory of him letting Shanks stay here), he immediately kicked him off and told him to never come back.
“And stay away from my girl while you’re at it!!!”
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milfhawks · 6 months
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dracule mihawk. greatest swordsman in the world. former warlord of the sea. cross guild chief officer. mother of red-haired shanks’ baby.
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secretpostsposts · 4 months
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The craziest thing came to my mind. Imagine your obsessive brozone au mixed with the one piece anime! Like the bergens are marines and trolls are pirates. Poppy would likely be luffy, and I see branch as maybe shanks or whitebeard. I seriously imagine that this au, the brothers are reunited like in the movie, maybe floyd was captured and nearly executed but they save him. What happens when brozone finds out that branch is a literal yonko? And how do they take the knowledge of his strength, power, and title?
THE ONE PIECE IS REAL!
I don't know much about One Piece if I'm honest, but I'll try to answer with the little knowledge I have.
But I understand that a yonko is something like an aspiring pirate king, right? or something like that?
(and if Branch were Shanks, and he was missing an arm, the brothers would be crazy about it, and Kismet would be the chief officers of his crew)
and well I don't know what to say, but it came to my mind that Clay may be a member of the Navy, one of the great Generals, and he knows about Branch, so he is risking his neck so that his little brother doesn't get caught and he has a book about Pirate Captain is very proud of his little brother's achievements, although he would prefer that he be with him as a Marine or just a civilian, he hates not being able to have him around. Bruce could be Sanji, or well have a similar role, working in the restaurant only being the owner, so he has seen Branch, but he can never get close because of his crew, he only manages to obtain information about him from Poppy and her crew, The first time he saw him and tried to make him stay, he almost received a bullet in the head from the second in command. Floyd is a pirate, only a member of Velvet and Veener's crew, he is like Coby on Alvida's ship, threatened to be part of the twins so that he can be part of their crew (Floyd was going to join Clay as a Marine, but he caught before arriving with Clay)
John Dory, yes, he is Pirate Captain, and they were always at war with Branch so that his little brother would resign his position and come with him (his crew knows that he is crazy, but they are afraid of Captain John or they are very loyal to him and well, John has a big loot), John Dory has a room on his ship for Branch (there is a chain there and JD is the only one with the key to that room), John will not stop until he gets his baby brother back.
Do you know if you have more like this idea I would like to explore it it's crazy haha
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