#consuder my sleep deprivation in everythig i am saying here i cld wake up from a nap and be like ehy tf did i say that

[caruliaa]

the worst part abt tumblr is sometimes ur mutuals will start just postinf stuff that u feel is like. idk you personally feeel kinda rly off abt it but u have no idea if tgats reasonable or not so ur like well it would be weird nd potentally kinda dickish to try to tell them but also if it was just someone u followed ud prob unfollow then but nit only are they a mutual they r a friend mutual so ur not doing that but also u have no idea of this is like. smth showing a difference between u nd this person that might potentially fuck up ur friendship later on or manybe its literally just memes and jokes and/or they didnt think abt it that much and your just being weird and sensetive by caring abt it at all. and u dont know what to do abt it so u usually just vaugpost abt it. which is what im doing now

#i feel so like dumb like i literally feel so dumb. omg i feel so dunb #like bc i am being so dumb !!! omg #just like. idk maybe making fun of panic attacks and acting like someone is dumb for not wanting to watch smth w homophobic slurs in it #(NOT that a protag of a show were the point is the character arent all good ppl saying it just in regards to ppl not want to deal w #homophobia in the media they consume when its already smth they have to deal w irl) #kinda doesnt feel worth it to me to make fun of what is for the most part. a guy u made up. #like im sure ppl like that do exist but the post in talking abt literally talked abt it like a hypothetical type thing yk #but also i get that they mutual rbing and prob the op didnt like. mean any harm at all or anything like that like. #they prob just meant it as a funny meme thing or whatever infact they almost definatly did #im just like. being senetive and dumb abt this for no reason !!! #idk i think the problem is is that im just like. a lot more upset by being mean and making fun of ppl than others are #and i dont mean that in a im better than others way i meancthat like. as a dig to myself #bc im sure id be a much cooler+funner person to be friends w if i wasnt like this #but for some reasonn i am just a sensetive weirdo !!!! ell ohh ell #anywayy i slept fucking atroicusly late night im running on 3 hours sleep and i cant get abt to sleep #bur ill try so basically dont takevthis as me Being Online and also #consuder my sleep deprivation in everythig i am saying here i cld wake up from a nap and be like ehy tf did i say that #but also i kinda felt this way b4 i was sleep deprived so like. thatll prob still happen but itll b more like #why tf did i post that and/or why was i being so dramatic online #also i capatlized Being Online to say like. being active and present and answering asks and messages type deal #but it made me realsie that like. idk i hate how whenver i say shit like this a lot of ppl wld take it as me being overly online or whateve #when like. this is equivelant to hanging out with a group of ppl irl and a friend laughs at a joke that makes u uncomfy #its not some weird exculsivley online issue #that also annoyed me abt smth else that happened earlier this year like no i do not have a ‘’’’parasocial relationship’’’’’ w u #u r my bffs new friend who i dont like i am engaging in a teenage girl right of passage or being petty and worrying ur stealing me bestie #get it right !!! #okay i think i am talking too much ant bullshit #also to calrify i no longer feel that way abt that person those last few tags were abt it have been resolved #flappy rambles #also somw of my tags were eatn but im goin 2 sleep sorry for bein a creep a weirdo wat tha hell am i doin here……