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strangelyokay · 4 years

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Everything's Fine, Slumps happen, Here's what to do.

Sometimes slumps happen, everything is moving, everything is not exactly going right, but also not bad, but everything still sucks. The days are quick, long, everything is just not worth doing, what’s the point, and if there is a point, the point is too far away to actually matter at the moment. Everyone has slumps, depression periods, everything sucks kind of vibes, and getting out of them can be a pain in the butt.

I’ve noticed a week ago that I was suffering from this annoying occurrence, I’m not doing much, but somehow, I can’t feel relax and refresh, instead, this super “ugh” mood is hanging over my head. However, this isn’t my first time in a slump, and I have mastered a couple of tips for anybody in school who has realized that they have too much time on their hands and are losing it or life just sucks. Don’t get me wrong, classes are hard and the homework piles on, but I’ve noticed that sometimes depression periods occur, all on their own and usually the school stuff suffers. Sometimes these periods occur while maintaining a job and school, that’s a nightmare, it's like the day ends too quickly and nothing productive seems to ever get done, all you want is the break time, the “me�� time.

So, based on my experience alone, I have a list that might help indicate that you are in a slump. These are my personal tells, everyone is different, but I’m sure that someone else has had these specifically.

Here are some signs that you might be in a slump:

You overdo it on sleep, you stay up all night, then sleep all day, constantly.

So personally, I sleep late, I won’t say I have insomnia, because I know I can sleep, I just choose not to. Sleeping will get me closer to waking up and starting my stressful day, so I stay up, it's like running away. Also, if I have a lot to do, and I feel like I don’t have enough time for myself, I’ll stay up because I feel less guilty like I’m not wasting time doing things I actually want to do.

You eat once a day. I mean you eat properly one meal and then snack all day.

Honestly, if I have the money, I’ll buy nothing else but fast-food, I won’t cook. I’ll overeat in one sitting then have snacks for the rest of the day. If I don’t have money for quick junk food, I’ll cook one meal, and again snacks, sometimes I’ll make a late-night sandwich if snacks aren’t filling me up. Personally, the snacks are always sweet, and bread-like.

You have seen too much T.V.

I usually watch too much tv, it gets to the point where I start seeing things that I would never consider, just because I can’t find anything, I haven’t seen. I get so sick of it that I can feel my mind is melting and I start to think that if life is worth living, it can’t be to do this. I’m usually broke, and TV is free, and it’s too much work to do anything else. When you do try to do anything else, you feel like it’s too uncomfortable, and it was such a stretch to come up with something else to do that you just don’t want to do anything else.

You clean or maybe you don’t, but when you do clean, not often enough to keep the “house” tidy.

Suddenly your home is a pigpen, and you hate it, but its overwhelming to actually start picking things up. I feel great when my home is clean, it helps me feel on top of things, however in these slumps, I clean, but it gets dirtier.

You hate how you look, but working out seems pointless, you’ll quit anyway and then you’ll feel worst.

So, this one might be specific to me, but most of the time if I am in these slumps, I don’t feel great about myself. I focus too much on appearance and it really hits my self-esteem. I try to work out but feel so disheartened, even if the exercise made me feel great, I just “know” I’ll quit and find myself feeling silly for even trying or like a failure.

Here’s the worst about the whole thing, it’s a f****** cycle, everything connects and it’s impossible to actually get off the suck train, without actually constantly trying. If you stay up all night and then wake up at 3:00 pm you’re not really thinking about eating property, so you eat one meal, because you’re starving and then snack all day. You just woke up, you watch tv, its 5 pm and the day is gone, you don’t clean, or exercise by default, because it’s too late. When you decide to actually do better, you notice it’s hard to sleep early, you’re not tired, and since you have nowhere to be, you don’t find the urgency. It's honestly annoying because you want to do better, but its SOOO hard and there’s absolutely no motivation. When there is urgency it's even worse, you start feeling the guilt.

So, I wouldn’t just talk about the terrible side-effects of a slump, without offering some sort of solutions. I will remind the reader that getting out of a slump is way harder, I mean it is so annoyingly more difficult, that it makes you not want to do it. That is ignoring the fact that in these slumps you already aren’t motivated to do anything.

Here are some solutions:

Go for a walk, preferably with a friend, but by yourself with music works well too.

So, this is the first one for a major reason, it sounds like the dumbest, but trust me it works. The reason is that in a slump you get sad, depress even. Someone told me once that a walk a day gives you the same effects as taking depression medication. Plus, the walk helps, you breathe in air, it forces you to actually think, instead of numbing yourself, and the scenery is different. I will say this one is just annoying to start though, especially if you become a hermit in the midst of the slump.

Exercise.

Yeah, this one is generic and in sucks, but there is a reason for it. Working out makes you tired, and it relaxes you, it honestly makes you feel good about yourself. You don’t have to be a pro on this, even 30 minutes helps, just do it more than once a week.

Clean one section at a time.

Even if the house is a mess, clean five dishes, then stop or maybe do one load of laundry, do small amounts, make it possible. It pushes you to progress, and eventually, doing all the dishes is possible. You can use this method to finish your homework.

Wake up earlier than usual.

This one can be hard, hopefully exercising can get you tired enough to start sleeping earlier, but the waking up is the main goal. Like with the cleaning, you don’t have to be extreme, if you’re waking up at 3:00 PM, try 11:00 AM, then keep going. You will wake up less tried, less in a bad mood, and more likely to feel like a better person if you’re rested and alive in the morning (aim for 8 hours).

Find anything else to do besides T.V.

Read, paint, do puzzles, do anything that isn’t watching the screen, its easy to fall into a trap of technology, and it is numbing. You don’t want to keep numbing yourself with tv, it really makes you stay addicted to the cycle. If it’s a relaxing pass time, sure, but if you’re watching, just to watch, to not think, then do something else.

Basically…

It's not easy to actually get out of the everything sucks period, you’re basically changing your mentality, and that is the hardest to do. You have to stay positive, even when you’re not, and when you’re by yourself it's daunting and it seems impossible. However, even though it’s easier with someone’s help, sometimes they hinder the change and you make them your crutch. This change can be tricky, you have to be aware, but don’t pressure yourself, its hard already without making yourself feel like a failure.

As I said, I am basing all of this on my experience alone, so I’m not an expert, sometimes the slump has no rules, and self-help isn’t actually curing anything. Obviously, at that point go see someone professionally, it doesn’t make you weak. If you think it does, don’t tell anyone, just make sure to go anyway, try something once especially if what you were doing wasn’t helping.

Stay positive, acknowledge the small accomplishments and tell everyone to f*** off if they want to judge, everyone struggles at one point, just keep moving. You can do it, and if no one else does I believe in you.

Here are some links to articles on the benefits of exercising:

Exercise is an all-natural treatment to fight depression

Running From the Pain

Comment Below!

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russellthornton · 6 years

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How to Make Your Husband Love You Again and Rekindle the Romance

Have you and your husband drifted apart or perhaps, you broke his trust? Here’s how to make your husband love you again and turn your relationship around.

Relationships always require work, even from the beginning stages where it feels giddy and effortless, you still make sure to impress someone and fight to keep them. Then, when you get more comfortable the effort required takes a different turn. You must find new ways to excite one another, remain interested in one another, and stay attracted. If you don’t feel that same connection, here are some steps for how to make your husband love you again.

It’s no wonder many marriages end up in trouble simply because the couple stopped making an effort. Living with someone for years and feeling completely comfortable with them is wonderful. But often you begin to take one another for granted. Conversation which used to carry on excitedly for hours, sharing interests, passions and dreams, is now no more than talking about what to cook for dinner or arguments about whose turn it is to take the trash out.

Has he fallen out of love?

If you noticed your husband acting differently towards you, you may feel he is distancing himself from the relationship and fallen out of love with you. It may be you simply noticed the signs, or he has actually come out and said it directly to you.

This can be a deeply troubling and upsetting revelation, especially if, until now, you felt happy and secure in your relationship. However, no doubt when you start to think about the things that may have gone wrong, you’ll soon realize there were many wrong turns that led to you growing apart. [Read: 12 subtle signs of a loveless, unhappy marriage]

How to make your husband love you again

Before you throw in the towel, there is plenty you can do to save your marriage and rekindle the romance and spark. Unless you husband is adamant that nothing will change his mind, and refuses to let you try, then it is worth you both making a concerted effort to become as close and in love as you were near the beginning of your relationship. [Read: 13 signs of a disrespectful husband that must not be ignored]

It may seem a difficult, almost impossible task, but if you are willing to fight for your marriage then it is certainly worth doing everything in your power to save it.

So, what can you do if your marriage has got to this point? Here are 12 ways to make your husband fall in love with you again.

#1 Stop nagging him. It may be that you don’t even realize you are doing it, but now is the time to step back and really look at your own behavior and how you act towards your husband. Maybe you get frustrated when he doesn’t make an effort. For example, leaving all the housework to you. But when you talk to him about this, are you doing it in the right way?

If all you talk about is him doing the washing up, cleaning the bathroom, spending more time with friends than with you, never paying attention to you, being out of shape, not getting that promotion, and so on it’s no wonder that he just wants a break from it all, and so begins to close off and distance himself. [Read: How to fix a broken relationship]

#2 Be strong—but not dramatic. If you’ve been letting your husband get away with murder he’ll start to lose respect for you and this can turn the relationship cold very quickly. By all means, stand up for yourself in arguments and talk through your problems. However, do this in a reasonable way, and always allow him to talk, try to see things from his point of view, and be prepared to compromise.

If you keep throwing a massive hissy fit when you disagree with him, he’ll soon find this tiring and close himself off from you. Bursting into tears doesn’t help either. Strong, independent women are the most attractive to men, so remember this and don’t be a doormat, but don’t be hysterical either. [Read: How to be a strong independent woman that men love]

#3 Be more than just a mom. If you have kids, it’s understandable to find that your relationship often gets pushed to the back burner. The problem is if this continues for too long your man is going to feel hurt and left out, and start to find his own things to do such as going out with friends. Looking after your children should be a priority, but so should your marriage.

Make sure that you make time for your husband. You need “grown up” time just the two of you. You need a lock on your bedroom door. You need to go on dates. Make sure you do all of this to keep the romance in your marriage alive. [Read: The 7 deadly sins of relationships that ruin romance for good]

#4 Listen to him. If he has complaints about your marriage, or things that he isn’t happy with don’t just brush them under the carpet. It is easy for us to think that our worries and issues are the most important, and yet be completely dismissive of others. Make sure you pay attention to your husband when he wants to discuss problems. It may be simple things that you can fix easily and makes all the difference.

#5 Be independent and happy. If your husband is acting as though he doesn’t love you anymore, it might be a good time to take a long hard look at yourself. Are you happy? Do you love yourself? It is hard to make others love us if we are constantly negative and down on ourselves. Learn what makes you happy, change the things that don’t, and you may see a dramatic improvement in your relationship too. [Read: How to feel happy: 13 proven strategies for instant happiness]

#6 Appreciate him. When you’ve been together for a long time it is easy to stop appreciating one another. If you want to know how to make your husband love you again, pay attention to the little things he does to look after you, and tell him how grateful you are. Whether it is making you a cup of tea in the morning or sorting out the car tax, showing him appreciation makes him feel special and loved. He’ll want to do the same for you in return.

#7 Be romantic. You might complain that the romance is dead in your relationship, but what have you done lately to rekindle it? Its antiquated to think that men should be the ones to make all the moves when it comes to romance. Show him how much you care and take him out or do something special for him to make him go weak at the knees.

#8 Make an effort in the bedroom. Sex is a huge part of any relationship, and one of the hardest parts to keep alive. Most couples experience a drop in the frequency and passion in their sex lives. However, it is all too easy to let it slowly dwindle until your sex life is barely there at all. It requires effort, but it is so worth it.

Keep things interesting in the bedroom. Don’t get lazy, and make an effort to try new things. Being physically intimate is closely linked to how you feel emotionally, so don’t forget it. [Read: 17 of the best naughty ideas to spice up married sex]

#9 Go on adventures. Make sure you do exciting things with him where you really let your hair down once in a while. Going on trips and adventures together remind you of when you first started dating and everything was passionate and carefree.

#10 Be affectionate. A hug. A kiss. Holding hands as you walk down the street. Physical intimacy isn’t just about sex. Being affectionate helps to put the spark back in your relationship too.

#11 Try new things. Sometimes relationships just get into too much of a routine. Do something different together or take a up a new hobby to bring you closer together once more and revive stale conversation. [Read: 10 steps to reignite the lost spark in your relationship]

#12 Forgive him. You may be harboring feelings of anger and resentment towards your husband. Whether it is because he has betrayed you in some way, or simply that you feel neglected. If you want to make a fresh start you must forgive him, wipe the slate clean, and try again.

[Read: Marriage advice: 11 tips for a happily ever after]

Just because you feel as though you and your husband have fallen out of love doesn’t mean it is time to throw in the towel just yet. Try these 12 tips and you could be back on track in no time!

The post How to Make Your Husband Love You Again and Rekindle the Romance is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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