#cpd!ss2020

[fromiftowhen]

fic: i want your midnights (an Upstead secret santa one shot)

A little New Year’s Eve Upstead fic for the @chicagopd-secretsanta Secret Santa exchange! I got to write for @bleedinghearthalstead who prompted “New Year’s Eve in the emergency room.” I hope this is what you were looking for, and I hope you’re having a wonderful holiday season! 

Rated T | 3300 words | Title from New Year’s Day by Taylor Swift

“Hailey, I swear, this is a waste of time,” he groans. “I’m good.”

“Yeah, you look really good. Your knee is three times the size it’s supposed to be, Jay,” she says, gesturing to the ice pack barely covering his right knee.

“You don’t think I look good?” He lifts the corner of his mouth in a smirk, and she rolls her eyes.

“Shut up. Obviously, I think you look good, that’s why we’re in this situation.”

“Oh, I remember,” he grins, letting his eyes roam down her body and back up slowly. “But we’re gonna miss Kim’s New Year party.”

She nods. “She’ll have one next year. Maybe you’ll learn to keep your hands to yourself by then and we won’t end up sitting in the ER waiting for the ball to drop.”

“Excuse me, I'll learn to keep my hands to myself? Pretty sure you started it.”

She just rolls her eyes and adjusts the ice pack on his knee.

He watches her for a moment until she glances up and narrows her eyes at him. “What?”

He shakes his head, grinning. “You want to spend next New Year’s Eve with me,” he says, fighting to keep the laugh out of his voice.

“Shut up,” she says again, but there’s a tiny hint of a blush creeping across her cheeks. It’s the first New Year’s Eve they’ve spent together as a couple and he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t been looking forward to Kim’s annual party, where he’d spent the last few years ringing in midnight with Hailey beside him.

This year, though, wouldn’t find him awkwardly swigging his beer to keep from reaching over and kissing her as the clock struck midnight. He’s not one for tradition or resolutions, doesn’t believe things magically change because the calendar flips over again.

This year, though. Well, her cheeks are still a little pink, and he’s finally gonna kiss her at midnight, hospital room and bad lighting and knee pain aside.

He just grins, and of course, she rolls her eyes again. “Try not to get any more stupid injuries this next year, and we’ll see about spending another New Year together.”

He finally lets himself laugh. “I’m sorry,” he says, incredulous. “Stupid injuries? You were a willing, enthusiastic participant.”

“Don’t give yourself too much credit there, pal,” she mutters. “You can shower by yourself next New Year’s Eve.”

“I was trying to,” he laughs, cringing a little as he shifts, and his knee protests with sharp pain.

She frowns. “See, it does hurt.”

“I’m fine,” he insists, but he lets her reach behind him and adjust his pillow so he doesn’t have to shift back too far in the bed.

Jay watches her pace the small hospital room, her arms crossed over her chest. She’s worried, and it’s honestly pretty damn cute.

“I’m sure you are,” she says, but it sounds like she’s just placating him. “I’m just saying, you made a very weird noise when you fell.”

“Yeah,” he rolls his eyes. “That’s because I was about to--”

The automatic whir of the sliding door sounds and Will’s voice interrupts him.

“I’m all for a full medical history, but please, god, don’t finish that sentence,” he says, hugging a chart to his chest. He looks gleeful and Jay wants to punch him.

“Isn’t there some rule about not treating family members?” He asks, eyeing Will suspiciously.

Will rolls his eyes, and beside him, he watches Hailey try to hide a smirk.

“Hey, I don’t need you two ganging up on me right now. I’m injured here.” He’ll never admit it sounds like a whine.

“Sure,” Hailey says. “The doctor comes in and suddenly you’re injured. You were fine two seconds ago.”

“Don’t call him the doctor, please,” he groans. “He’s already gonna be insufferable.”

“They worry we might become too emotionally invested,” Will says, shrugging like it’s another rule he’s about to disregard. “Pretty sure that’s not gonna be a problem.” He grins, flipping open the chart.

“Any chance you can get us out of here by midnight?” Jay asks, watching Will’s smirk grow a little as he reads over the chart.

“Bro,” he groans, glancing back up. “I already pulled the only strings I have to get you back here without a long wait. No promises.”

“We’re good, Will,” Hailey says. “We can wait.” Her voice sounds pointed but her fingers on his shoulder are gentle.

“Thank you, Hailey,” Will says. “Seriously, Jay, the right knee. Again?”

He shrugs, but Hailey lets out a little choking noise next to him, and he turns to her.

“Again? This has happened before?”

He starts to shake his head, but Will cuts in. “Oh, yeah. What, you were 13 the first time? And then high school, and your first year on patrol?”

Hailey looks like she's going to lose her mind, and Jay tosses Will a look, silently begging him to shut up.

“Baseball, Hailey,” Jay tells her, trying not to laugh. “Rounding the bases the first time and sliding into home the second. And chasing an offender on patrol.”

She nods slowly. “Okay. That makes more sense.”

Jay watches Will glance between them and then down at the chart. “This just says you fell. What did it this time?”

He doesn't say anything, but he can see pink flares dance across Hailey's cheeks. His brother is an idiot, but he's not an idiot, and Jay watches him put the pieces together.

“Ah,” he nods, smirking, and Jay can hear the laughter trying to fight its way through. “Well, sounds like you were at least rounding the bases this time too.”

“Oh, my god,” Hailey whispers, running a hand down her face.

Will sets the chart down and lifts the ice pack on his knee, pressing lightly around the swelling. “One to ten?” He asks, glancing up as Jay tries and fails not to hiss.

“Two,” he says.

“And if your girlfriend wasn't two feet away?”

“I hate you,” he whispers. “Four. Maybe five,” he admits.

Will steps back, grinning. “You worship me. You're gonna be fine. Doesn't seem like anything's torn, but I want a scan to double-check.”

“You can't just--”

“No,” Will sighs. “I can't just wrap it or let you leave or whatever other malpractice you were about to suggest.”

Jay rolls his eyes, but nods. “Fine. But no--”

“No needles, we know,” Hailey and Will say together, and honestly, he's not sure when his idiot brother and his sarcastic girlfriend became BFFs, but he's not into it.

He grumbles out a thanks but smiles when Hailey's fingers tangle with his on the edge of the mattress.

“I'm gonna go order your scan. How's the pain, really? Need anything for it?” It's Will's concerned doctor voice, but it sounds a lot like his protective brother voice and something in him tugs with appreciation.

“I’m good, but thanks.”

Will smiles. “Okay. But don't be a hero, doofus,” he says, picking up the chart and heading for the door. “Someone will come to get you soon.”

He nods.

“Oh, and Jay?” Will’s caring brother voice is gone, and Jay steels himself.

“Next time, let the girl shower alone.” Jay shoots him a look because they hadn't said anything, but Will just grins.

“I see this way too often. Plus, both of you have wet hair and I'm pretty sure your shirt is on backward.”

“Jesus christ,” Hailey whispers.

“You good, Hailey? I don't see any visible injuries. Escaped unscathed?”

She nods, but Jay's pretty sure she might murder both of them if given the slightest chance.

Will laughs. “Good. Oh, to be young and stupid and in love.”

He rolls his eyes. “For the record, I was in the shower first. By myself. This is barely my fault,” he says, but Will just gives a sarcastic little wave as the door closes behind him.

The room quiets as Hailey's fingers tug at his collar, little sparks of heat lingering where she touches.

“He was right,” she groans. Her fingers trail down his arm and he smiles.

“Well, don't ever tell him that,” he says, leaning forward and reaching for his collar to tug the shirt over his head. He glances at her, her eyes tracking his movements as he's turning it around, and smirks.

“Yeah, you probably shouldn't look at me like that right now. That look is the reason we're sitting here,” he grins, pulling the shirt slowly back down his chest.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, smoothing back her ponytail. When she glances up, her smile doesn't reach her eyes.

“Hey,” he whispers. “I was joking.”

She nods. “I know.”

“C’mere,” he says, reaching out an arm for her and pulling her up onto the narrow mattress with him. “It was an accident, babe.”

She nods again, reaching up to thread their fingers together where his arm rests over her shoulder. “I am sorry, though.”

“I’m gonna need you to stop apologizing for surprising me in the shower,” he laughs, pressing his lips to the top of her head. “Not ever gonna be mad about that.”

She laughs against his chest, and things feel like they're righting themselves again. He barely feels his knee.

“I'm not apologizing for that. That was fun,” she says. “Just. You know, the part where you fell.”

“Yeah, that wasn't the ending I was hoping for, but I'll survive. And still, not your fault.”

“Still,” she says. “I feel bad.”

“Gonna need that to stop, too. And I'm gonna be really mad if this keeps you from joining me in the shower in the future, just so we're clear.”

She rolls her eyes. “We'll see. Let's give you some time to heal first.”

He shrugs. “Not necessary.”

“Right, I forgot, you're fine,” she says. “I'll get you one of those shower chairs, maybe a handrail installed?

He wrinkles his nose slightly, shaking his head as he leans in to kiss her. “I mean, you can get me a shower chair if you're planning to--”

A knock sounds on the glass and he groans slightly when she pulls away as the door opens and a transporter with a wheelchair comes in.

“You must know someone,” he says. “Dr. Halstead had me skip you to the front of the line.”

“Aww,” Hailey says. “That’s a good brother.”

Jay laughs, shifting himself off the mattress and into the chair quickly. “That’s an annoyed brother,” he tells her. “He wants me out of here before I remind him how much I hate hospitals.”

She shifts so she’s more comfortable on the mattress where he was stretched out. “Yeah, I want you out of here too, I’m gonna stretch out for a bit.”

“What, too much exercise earlier?” He smirks as he’s wheeled out of the room.

“Bye, Jay,” she calls, and he watches her until she’s out of sight.

——————————

By the time he’s wheeled back in the room, it’s a little after 11PM, and Hailey is stretched out on the mattress on her phone.

“Go okay?” She asks, sitting up as he slides onto the mattress beside her, shifting to put his knee back up.

“‘Bout as good as anything in a hospital can,” he says, leaning over to press a kiss to her shoulder. “Think we’ll be out of here by midnight?”

She bites her lip. “I saw Will and April run by for a trauma a little while ago, so…”

“Probably not,” he fills in. “Oh well, good company at least,” he says, knocking his shoulder with hers.

“Mhmm,” she murmurs.

“You gonna make it to midnight, pal?” He asks quietly, watching her yawn.

She nods. “‘Course. I just didn't plan on being in bed before midnight. Got a little too relaxed.”

He winks. “I didn't plan on it either. Or, at least, not a hospital bed,” he grins, leaning over to press his lips to her cheek.

She lifts her lips in a small, easy smile and reaches for her phone when it lights up a moment later.

“Kim says hi,” she says. “And also, that you're an idiot.”

“Ouch,” he laughs. “Does she… know why I'm an idiot?”

She gives him a please look, raising her eyebrows. “Does anybody?”

“You're mean in the hospital,” he teases. “I like shower Hailey better, injuries and all.”

She rolls her eyes, holding out her phone to show him a picture of Kim, Kevin, and Adam, a ridiculously large box of fireworks in the frame.

“Oh, they are very drunk, that's a horrible idea,” he laughs. “Might wanna warn Will to look out for them later.”

“Warn Will about who?” Will asks, sneaking in through the still-open door.

“Our very drunk coworkers,” Hailey says. “Everything going okay out there?”

Will glances over his shoulder and Jay watches him closely as he turns back. It's not, he can see it on his face. But Will just smiles.

“It's New Year’s Eve, and it's still early, really. But look,” he sighs. “Radiology is backed up, it's gonna be a while before I can see your scans. Sorry, man.”

He shrugs. “I figured. Could be worse.”

Will nods, glancing at his watch. “Hey, we have a little tradition here at midnight. Give me like, half an hour and I'll come to get you.”

Jay nods. “Okay,” he says, a little unsure.

“Trust me, bro. And in the meantime, don't do anything stupid to injure yourself further. Hospital sex isn't that cool.”

“Okay, that's my limit of hearing the wrong Halstead brother discuss my sex life,” Hailey sighs.

Will points to himself, cocky grin in place, and Jay prepares to have to leverage himself up onto his bad knee to punch him.

“Wrong Halstead? I'm the right Halstead. Best Halstead,” he says, grinning.

“You know what, you both suck,” she says, and Will laughs as he leaves the room, which feels like a little bit of a win.

Jay leans into her when they're alone again, his chin on her shoulder. “I'm the best Halstead, right?”

“Ehhh,” she says, shrugging.

“Mean,” he whispers. She laughs, her shoulders shaking under his chin.

“Fine,” she laughs. “You’re the best Halstead for me.”

He presses his lips to her jaw slowly. “That feels like a cop-out, but I’m gonna take it.”

“Good,” she says. Her phone vibrates next to them again and she picks it up, stifling a laugh as she swipes it open.

“Five bucks one of them is missing an eyebrow on Monday,” she says, showing him a video Kim sent, fireworks blasting in the background, and a voice that sounds suspiciously like Adam yelling over the music.

“If by one of them you mean Adam, that's a sucker's bet.”

“True,” she laughs. “How's the knee feel?”

He shifts back on the mattress, guiding his arm around her waist and bringing her back with him. “Once you've been shot, everything else is like an annoying paper cut,” he downplays, and her look tells him she knows he's full of it.

But she doesn't say anything, just settles in against him, yawning again.

“Sorry we're spending our first New Year’s Eve at the ER,” he whispers.

She shrugs. “Best New Year’s Eve I've spent in the ER.”

Something inside him clenches because it probably should have occurred to him. It's been years, but he knows she still carries the Booth stuff around with her, and he can still picture her face from that whole week so clearly, the anger and fear and determination.

He presses his lips to her temple and breathes slowly against her, in and out. He searches for something to say that won't be pointless or trite, but by the time he thinks he's found the words, her breathing has evened out against him and a quick glance down tells him she's dozed off.

His good knee is cramping a little where her thigh is resting over his, but he just smiles and lets her doze, letting her relaxed features ease him too.

——————————

He distracts himself with his phone and Hailey's quiet breathing in and out against him until a light knock sounds on the glass and Will sticks his head in the door.

“You annoy her to death finally?”

He rolls his eyes, but Will just smirks.

“Wanna wake her up?”

He pauses for a moment, considering. She looks relaxed and comfortable, and really, that's all he ever wants for her on the nights when sleep is hard to find.

And he wants to kiss her at midnight more than he'll admit, in the cheesiest way he can imagine, fireworks between them if not in the sky. But he knows he can kiss her whenever, and it'll be just as good then.

But a loud crash sounds in the hallway before he can make up his mind, and as Will turns to check on it, Hailey shifts against him, waking up.

“Hey,” he whispers quietly.

“Hey.” She runs a hand across her eyes, stretching her back slowly. “I didn't mean to fall asleep.”

“You're good. Wanna get up and go with Will?”

She nods as Will turns back to them.

“And she's alive,” he says. “Maybe you're less annoying than I thought, Jay.”

“Doubtful,” Hailey says, sitting up. “Where are we going?”

“That's a surprise,” Will says, turning to wheel in a wheelchair.

“Dude, come on. At least get me some crutches.”

“Nope,” he says, Hailey's voice echoing right behind his. “Come on.”

——————————

“The roof, bro? This isn't gonna be like when I was seven and you tried to push me off, right?”

Will rolls his eyes, easing the wheelchair to a stop near the edge of the roof. “For the thousandth time, you slipped, Jay. Plus, Hailey would probably stop me.”

“Depends on the day.” Her voice is quiet and her fingers are pinpoints of heat against the back of his neck in the cold. “This is really nice, Will.”

And it is. There are lights strung and it's as quiet as the city gets on a night like this, traffic down below painting the night in red and gold moving lights.

“Figured if you have to be here, you may as well get the good view. Usually, there’s a little crowd, so you lucked out.”

They chat for a couple of minutes until Will's pager goes off and he groans quietly, glancing down at it.

Jay glances at his watch. 11:57.

“Gotta run. I'll call you when I see your scans,” he says, clapping Jay on the shoulder, shaking him a little. “Don't freeze to death up here please.”

“Happy New Year, man.”

Will grins, leaning in to give Hailey a quick hug. “You guys too. Seriously, though, no dying, this is probably against all kinds of rules. I don’t need that hassle.”

“Go, dude,” Jay says, laughing.

Will waves and heads back toward the roof access door and Hailey turns to him.

“I dunno, your brother might be my favorite Halstead right now.”

Jay just shakes his head. “Absolutely unacceptable,” he says, holding out his hand to bring her closer, pulling her down to sit on his good knee.

“Okay?” She asks quietly, settling in.

“Think I'll survive,” he whispers, his hands coming to rest on her waist. “You know, they say how you ring in the new year is how you spend the rest of the year.”

She bites her lip. “So, on a hospital roof, injured? Gotta say, not all that promising.”

He rolls his eyes. “Or, you know, together with me could work too. Maybe minus the injuries.”

She scrunches up her nose but grins. “That might be okay.”

He glances at his watch behind her back. “Yeah?”

“Could be better, probably,” she whispers, already leaning in.

His lips meet hers and he kisses her slowly, mentally counting down until he hears fireworks and cars honking below on the street.

When she pulls back, she’s smiling, and yeah, he could definitely spend the year exactly like this.

He thinks about pulling away, looking for fireworks in the night sky, but she leans back in and he closes his eyes, and he doesn’t need to look anywhere else to find them.

#cpd!ss2020 #my fic #upstead #upstead fic #chicago pd #chicago pd fic #jay halstead #hailey upton #will halstead

[ruzek-halstead]

sparks fly

written for @fromiftowhen​ to celebrate chicago pd secret santa 💛

pairing: jay halstead x hailey upton

prompt: fake dating, i don't care how or why... just make them fake date for whatever reason. obviously, it should turn into real dating. 

masterlist 

special shoutout to @haileyyanneupton​ for coming up with the fic idea, collaborating and editing (and also talking me down when i was hella stressed i wasn't going to finish this on time). i appreciate you more than you know!! 💛

i hope i did this prompt and fic justice. i was very intimidated when i first got this because you are such a good writer!!! so i hope this is okay, please enjoy!!

💛

Hailey hadn't gone to many weddings in her life. It wasn't entirely surprising, given her childhood. Her mother would have to furiously cover up her bruises, as would her brothers. Then there was the chance of her father exhibiting questionable behaviour in public after he'd hit the open bar, and they couldn't have that. So, instead, the Upton family always marked the 'politely decline' option and sent the RSVP with a cheque instead. But now that Hailey was an adult and old enough to have friends who were getting married, weddings were becoming the new normal. The months of May to September are the classic wedding months, and Hailey knew that better than ever. She had attended three weddings within the past few months and truth be told, she was exhausted of attending them solo. She thought about finding a date, but it honestly seemed more trouble than it was worth. However, this time, things were slightly different. Her childhood friend, Raquel Sousa, was getting married this weekend. Hailey and Raquel had grown up on the same street, gone to all the same schools, and even attended the academy together. When they were assigned to different precincts, they hastily grew apart, and when Hailey went undercover, they weren't able to contact each other for months on end. They tried to keep in touch with random little messages every once in a while to alert the other that they were thinking about them, but it wasn't the same. But when Hailey received Raquel's wedding invitation in her mail a few months back, her blue eyes teared up instantly in blinding happiness. She was incredibly happy for her friend; so much so, that she took out her phone to message her, and hadn't stopped since. It was how she knew Raquel was incredibly stressed about planning, especially about the seating arrangements. "You need to bring a plus one!" Raquel had said to her two weeks earlier when they met up for coffee. It had been a long day and Hailey was utterly exhausted, but coffee with one of her oldest friends seemed to help. Hailey took a sip of her coffee, narrowing her blue eyes. "Uh — why is that?" "Because my tables aren't even! Specifically your table isn't even, and it would be if you brought a plus one!" Hailey was still confused. "Your argument seems flawed. Why don't you just add someone to the table?" "Because then it would just unbalance another table!" Raquel explained with a dramatic huff. "And I don't want you sitting alone at the table, Hails. There aren't going to be a lot of people you know there, and I'm going to be a little busy." "I won't be alone. I have the rest of the table," Hailey replied, enjoying the way her friend's eye twitched in frustration. Raquel took a bite out of her croissant. "What about that guy you're seeing?" "What guy?" Hailey snorted. "Do you mean the guy I just arrested a few hours ago? Because that's about the only action I'm getting lately." Raquel rolled her eyes, but there was a hint of an amused smile. "No! The one that's all over your instagram. He's cute! Why don't you bring him?" It took Hailey a moment, but she finally figured out who she was talking about. "Oh — oh, Jay? No, I'm not seeing him. He's just my parter." "Well, whoever he is, you should bring him. Or someone, I don't care who, just do me this one favour and bring someone." Hailey stared at her for a moment, before breaking into a small grin. "Fine. I'll bring a plus one." "Yes!" Raquel cheered excitedly. "Just let me know their name by this weekend so I can include it in my display!" She took another bite from her croissant, before raising her devious eyes back up to Hailey's face. "Tell me more about this Jay though..." 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛 The next day following her coffee date, she was receiving hourly messages from Raquel to make sure she actually found a date. Honestly, her friend's confidence in her dating skills astounded her. She spent the day with Jay, but couldn't bring herself to ask him; she just found it so embarrassing. So, instead, she found discreet opportunities within the day to ask her fellow Intelligence members. Kim apologized but said she had already devoted the entire day to her niece and she couldn't back out, not that Hailey would let her anyway. And Vanessa had a date, and no matter how much she loved Hailey, this was a very special date that she couldn't miss. Kevin looked frustrated when he informed her it was his little sister's birthday and he couldn't miss it, but assured her in any other circumstance, he would absolutely love to be her date. Hailey's second last option was Adam and unfortunately for her, he was as subtle as a car alarm. "You want me to be your date to a wedding?" He echoed her question, in a loud voice that travelled from the break room into the bullpen. Hailey noticed from the corner of her eye as Jay's head peeked up from where he was sitting at his desk, working on paperwork; of course his desk was closest to the break room. Hailey instantly slapped Adam's bicep. "Shh!" She admonished, but didn't really have an excuse to share with him when he glared at her in confusion. "Yes, I do. If you're available. Please tell me you're available." "I'm always available for you, Hailey," he replied with flirtatious lilt, but Hailey could see in his eyes it was all just fun and games. They had their fun little run together, but it was clear to both of them, more than ever, that they were better off as friends. Flirty friends, maybe, but nothing more. For a moment, Hailey was hopeful her begging journey could end here; but then Adam frowned. "But I can't," he replied, "I'm helping my sister move this weekend. She'll kill me if I try to bail." Hailey's shoulders sagged and she took a long, deep sip from her coffee mug. "Oh," she responded sadly, "That's okay. Thank you anyway." "Sorry, Hails," he nudged the top of her head, as he waited for her to catch up. "If it wasn't for that, I totally would. Any place with an open-bar and a dance floor, you know I'm there." At this point, they were passing Jay's desk and Hailey was positive he could hear their entire conversation, but she couldn't be bothered anymore. Hailey took a seat in her chair, while Adam took his seat behind her. Before devoting his time to his paperwork, he leaned back and whispered to Hailey, "You ask Halstead already?" "No," Hailey hissed back. "You should," he replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Hailey whipped her head around, completely nailing Adam in the face with her blonde locks; he disgustingly removed her curls from his mouth. "Stop talking about this before I stab you in the carotid with my pen!" Adam's eyes flashed dangerously. "You really know the way to a man's heart, Upton." Hailey rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help but smirk at his words. As she turned back around in her seat, she noticed Jay peering at her from behind his computer screen. Hailey avoided his captivating eyes.   💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛 Hailey was walking to her SUV in the district parking lot, debating whether she should turn around and beg Jay to accompany her to the wedding, when she was stopped by Jay himself. "Hey," he greeted her gruffly. He was wearing his puffer jacket over his dark blue Henley (one of Hailey's favourite shirts on him) and his eyes were darting around her face, almost as if he was nervous about something. "Sorry, I just have to ask you something." Hailey looked on expectantly. "Yeah, sure. What is it?" Jay's eyes danced around her, before finally settling on her blue ones. "Were you going to ask me?" He blurted. "What?" "To the wedding," he added, meeting her eyes assertively. "You asked everyone else to be your date, but you didn't ask me. I just want to know why." Hailey's brain was starting to short-circuit. "Uh — well, I thought about it. I definitely thought about it, but I wasn't sure if it was your thing." "We face bullets everyday, Hailey," he smirked. "It's just a date to a wedding. If you want me to go, I'll go." He was clearly leaving her an opening, and Hailey wasn't stupid. He obviously wanted her to say it out loud; say that she wanted him to go. "I want you to go," she said definitively, meeting his eyes. It wasn't often they did things outside of work, except go get a drink, so this was new territory for both of them. But they've been partners for years, and if there was anyone Hailey trusted to accompany her to such an event, it was Jay. An excited smile broke out over Jay's features. "Great! Text me all the details. I'm excited." "Yeah," Hailey answered with a soft smile, "Me too." Jay nodded his head, stuffing his hands into his front pockets. "Okay, well that's all I really wanted to say," he replied, his excited smile fading into a sheepish grin. "I'll see you tomorrow then. Drive safe, Hailey." Hailey could feel her insides melting and it was merely over the fact that he said 'drive safe'. She wanted to hit herself, but that would just make her look crazy. "Yeah, you too. Night Jay." She watched him walk away, completely aware of the butterflies trying to escape under her ribcage. God, he was going to be the death of her. 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛  Raquel was delighted when Hailey informed her she was bringing a date. She was even more ecstatic when she found out it was Jay; Hailey ignored the "I told you so!" Instead, she busied herself with finding the perfect dress for the occasion. She wasn't one for fancy dresses or fancy events (usually she had her blues to wear to fancy events), so choosing a dress proved to be challenging. She could only assume that Jay was going to blow them all away with his suit, because he was already naturally breathtaking. That man in a suit? Lord help them all. Hailey ended up choosing a burgundy dress she hadn't worn in ages. It was tucked in the back of her closet, but when she pulled it out, she knew it was perfect. It was a floor length gown, with cutouts above the hips and a long slit up the side, and if she was being completely honest, she knew it would look amazing on her. Plus, she had to compete with Jay somehow. Hailey already looked fancy enough with her dress. And she wasn't one for hair and makeup, so she kept her curls natural and applied a decent  layer of mascara. She was attempting to distract herself from the unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach; it was almost time for Jay to meet at her house, and she was unbelievably nervous. It seemed to work because as she was pulling on one of her block heels, the doorbell rang. Swearing, Hailey hobbled to the front door, attempting to not step on her dress. She hastily opened the door and headed straight for the stairs so she could sit and put on her other heel. "Hey!" She yelled out when her back was to him. "Shit, sorry," she mumbled as she stepped on her dress and nearly fell up the stairs. "I just need to put on my shoe and I'll be ready, I promise!" When she didn't hear an immediate reply for him, she glanced up. Jay had one foot through the threshold of the door, but his gaze was solely focused on her. His jaw was slightly open, and his green eyes were wider than usual. He seemed as if he was staring off into space, but he was staring at her.   In any other circumstance, Hailey would have averted her gaze nervously. However, once she caught sight of how he looked in his black suit, she couldn't look anywhere else. He looked captivating in every way possible; she could see his white dress shirt peeking out from under the lapels of his jacket, and her gaze travelled down his body all the way down to his dress shoes. God, he looked gorgeous. "Hailey," her name dropped from his lips in a ghost of a breath; Jay didn't realize he had even said it until her eyes snapped up to meet his. "You look amazing." She knew she was blushing before she could even feel the heat in her cheeks. So, she looked back down at her hands where they were fastening the claps on her heel. "Thanks," she mumbled. "You look great too. You clean up nice." "Thanks!" When she looked up, he was smiling proudly. "You ready to go?" Hailey nodded her head, standing back up and grabbing her clutch. "I am ready!" She followed him through the door and locked it. Turning back to face him, she stopped and said fondly, "By the way, thank you for doing this. I don't know if I've thanked you already, but I really appreciate this." The bright smile that formed on Jay's lips brought butterflies into her stomach. "Of course, Hailey. The thought of an open bar is nice, but just getting to look at you in that dress all night is reward enough." Out of all the things she was expecting him to say, that was definitely not one of them. She was so thrown off her game, that she managed to trip over her own feet. He easily grabbed her arm because he was smooth as hell, and Hailey truly hated he was using that to his advantage and to her demise. "You alright?" Hailey pulled away from him to make her way to the passenger side of his truck before he did something ridiculous like open her door. “Yeah, of course,” she brushed off his concern. “It’s been a while since I wore heels.” “Well, you look great in them.” Hailey huffed, observing him as he started the drive over to the venue. “Okay, you have to stop.” “What? Stop what?” “You have to stop complimenting me.” She was expecting him to look sheepish or mildly apologetic, but when she spared a glance in his direction, he was smirking wildly. She didn't have to explain; Jay knew. The venue was close by. It was an outdoor wedding; Hailey peered over to the side where there was a rustic looking arch, complete with delicate flowers, placed at the end of a bed of flowers. There were elegant white chairs spread out amongst the ground, and Hailey could see a number of guests had already taken their seats. Over to the other side, was a multitude of tables decorated beautifully in white and silver aesthetic colours. There was also a dance floor in between all the tables, and a stage where instruments were neatly laid out. "This place looks fantastic," Jay commented in awe, "Your friend did an amazing job planning." Hailey nodded in agreement. “She really did.” Before Hailey got the chance to do anything else, she was stopped by a hand on her elbow. “Hailey? Hailey Upton?” She turned to see Jake Patterson; he also attended the academy at the same time Hailey and Raquel, and god, she couldn't remember the last time she saw him. They had run in different circles, mostly because Hailey liked to keep to herself, whereas Jake was more of an entertainer type. She remembered him as energetic and slightly chaotic, and looking at him now, she could see why. "Holy shit! It's been a minute!" Jake greeted her, pulling her in for a hug before Hailey even knew what was happening. "How have you been? Where are you working now? What's new with you? Tell me everything!" Hailey merely blinked, overwhelmed by all the questions. To her left, Jay snickered and earned Jake's attention. "Shit, man. I'm so sorry. I'm Jake, Hailey and I went to the academy together!" Jay extended his hand to meet Jake's in a firm handshake. "It's no problem. I'm Jay, Hailey's partner." "Oh!" Jake's eyebrows reached nearly up into his hairline. "That's awesome! How long have you two been together?” Hailey’s brows furrowed and she glanced at Jay quickly. It took her a moment, but she understood what Jake was getting at. “Oh — no, Jake, that’s not—” Jake’s attention was pulled elsewhere when someone came up behind him and clapped him on the shoulder. They promised to get him a drink from the bar and Jake’s eyes lit up. “It was nice to see you again, Hailey!” He nodded at Jay before he hurried off. “Did he—” Jay nodded. “I think so.” Hailey couldn't help but stifle a laugh as she met Jay's eyes with a shake of the head. Neither of them addressed the issue any further  as they went on about their night, quickly finding their table after catching up with a few other friends. Being the first to arrive at their table bought a flock of others to follow their lead as the seats slowly began filling up, including the ones around them. "Bride or groom?" Both Hailey and Jay's heads snapped up at the sound of another woman speaking in their general direction. "Bride," Hailey smiled in response as she shook the hand of the woman before her. "I was in the academy with Raquel, actually. What about you?" "My husband is the groom's cousin — speaking of my damn, husband — where is he?" The woman craned her neck around in search for the man who clearly, was nowhere to be found as she settled down in her seat. "Well, at least you can keep tabs on your husband, right?" "Well actually —" "Oh! Richard! There you are! Sorry, dear — talk later? It was lovely meeting you!" For the second time that night, Hailey and Jay turned to look at each other, this time stifling a laugh at the apparent ridiculousness of the concept that they could be in any way romantically involved. Many thoughts were bouncing around in Hailey’s head but she pushed them all aside when the organ started playing and the flower girl and ring bearer started making their way down the aisle. Hailey wasn’t usually an emotional person, and she really had no idea how to react at a wedding, considering she hadn’t been to many, but she couldn’t held the proud smile accompanied by the tears that filled her blue eyes. She watched Raquel walk down the aisle with an almost bursting sense of awe, and she couldn’t be any happier for her friend. When she sat back down, she hastily wiped away the tear that escaped. She wasn’t expecting Jay to notice, but he was an observant detective, so of course he did. He hesitantly grabbed her hand and laid them in her lap. He gave her the opportunity to pull away if she wanted to, but when she looked up at him with a grateful smile, he relaxed in her grip. The ceremony was short and sweet; the reception to follow was the real party. Hailey and Jay were sat at a table with numerous other young couples, most of whom Hailey didn’t recognize. She saw the odd familiar face from back in the day but for the most part, Raquel was right; she hardly knew anyone there. Which is why she was more grateful than ever that Raquel forced her to bring someone, and that Jay was more than willing to accompany her. “So, how long have you two been together?” Hailey turned her head to meet the gaze of the friendly looking blonde to her left. The majority of her table had left to the dance floor or to mingle, but the blonde stayed in her seat while her partner chatted with another man who stopped by their table. “Oh,” Jay chuckled, deciding to intervene. “We actually—”

But frankly, Hailey found it hilarious that somehow, they’d been mistaken for a couple three times that night. So, what was the harm in having a little fun with it? Hailey turned to intertwine her arm with Jay’s and she stared up at him with fluttering eyelashes. Her actions seemed to cut him off mid sentence, and he looked down at her as if she’d gone insane. “Two years,” Hailey replied, leaning her cheek against Jay’s bicep and returning the blonde’s perky smile. She hadn’t gone undercover in a long time, and this gave her a little taste of what she’d been missing. “I’m Hailey, this is Jay.” Jay still looked bewildered, but he plastered on a smile to hide his confusion. “I’m Spencer, nice to meet you both!” She replied cheerily. “Sorry if I sound nosy, but you two are just so adorable! How did you meet?” Hailey glanced up at Jay, throwing him a tiny smile that only he could see. “You want to answer that, babe?” Jay’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second before he composed himself. “Uh, no babe, this is all you.” “Okay,” Hailey giggled, pulling away from him and facing Spencer. She stayed close to his side and even went as far as to grab his hand as she spoke. “I used to be a detective in robbery-homicide. I found him messing with my crime scene so naturally, I had to rip him a new one.” Spencer’s blue eyes were sparkling in excitement. “Feisty! So, not love at first sight?” “Actually, it was my crime scene,” Jay interjected, finally feeling comfortable enough to step into his character. He shot a smirk at Hailey, who raised her eyebrows. “Plus, you were late. Finders keepers.” Hailey scoffed. “That’s definitely not how it works. And like I said before, it was a robbery and there was a homicide; therefore, my scene.” “But it was a highly important case, so the commissioner wanted Chicago’s most elite unit to take over the case,” Jay shot back, eyes twinkling in amusement. Spencer’s gaze was jumping from Hailey to Jay, giggling at their banter. “And that meant me. Sorry, babe.” Hailey’s jaw dropped. She started this as a game, but Jay was here to win. Hailey turned back to Spencer with pursed lips. "Joke's on him because his boss recruited me a day later." "So, you two work together?" "We're partners," Jay explained, "She always had my six, and now she has my heart." Hailey choked on her glass of champagne, and one look at Jay's smirk, she knew he was just trying to mess with her now. He really drove it home when he stretched his arm along the back of her chair, fingers lingering on her bare shoulders. "That is absolutely adorable," Spencer cooed. Her eyes flickered up behind Jay. "Raquel! Caden! Congratulations, I'm so happy for you two!" Hailey turned to look behind her, spotting Raquel and her new husband. Immediately, Raquel's eyes dropped to Jay and Hailey's intertwined hands and an instant smirk made it's way to her lips. "Thanks, Spencer! I see you've met my friend Hailey." "And her boyfriend Jay!" Spencer tacked on with an excited smile; Hailey wanted to die at Raquel's amused expression. "They're the sweetest."

"Aren't they?" Raquel replied, trying but failing to hide the slight sarcasm in her tone. "I'm Raquel, it's nice to officially meet you, Jay." Jay happily shook her hand, moving onto her husband next. "I've heard so much about you! And congratulations on getting married, it's a beautiful wedding." "Thanks, man," Caden responded, holding onto Raquel's hand. "We need to finish the rounds. But thank you both so much for coming!" "Thanks, babe," Raquel said, leaning down to press a kiss to Hailey's cheek. "You owe me a conversation later!" She whispered. As they walked away, Jay looked at Hailey with soft eyes. "I think it's time for a drink. What do you think?" "I think it's time for a bottle," Hailey muttered, but turned to Spencer with a small smile. "We'll be back soon. Nice to meet you!" As they walked to the bar, Jay placed a low hand on the small of Hailey's back. "You want to tell me what that was all about?" Hailey ignored him until she successfully asked the bartender for a gin and tonic for her and a rum and coke for Jay. "I thought it was funny we kept getting mistaken for a couple, and I thought we could mess around with it for a bit. I wasn't expecting Raquel to show up." At his questioning expression, she continued. "Now she's going to be all I told you so and I'm going to have to hear about it for ages." "Why is she going to say 'I told you so'?" "Because she originally wanted me to bring the guy I was seeing as my date. She thought it was you because you're all over my Instagram," Hailey admitted. Jay nodded his head quizzically, a slow smile spreading across his face. "You always did like to post beautiful things." Hailey's eyes narrowed and without a second thought, she punched him in the shoulder. "That was gross, please stop." Their attention was brought back to the front when the MC announced it was time for all the single ladies to gather on the dance floor to catch the bouquet. Jay and Hailey watched as a swarm of ladies took up the entirety of the dance floor, and when Hailey didn't move, Jay shot her a curious glance. "Go on, Hails. It's your time to shine." Hailey turned to him with an incredulous expression. "I'm sorry, but do I look like the bouquet-catching type? No, thank you." Jay held his hands up in defence and turned back to the crowd. The ladies had backed up so much, they were only a few feet from where Jay and Hailey stood at the bar. The MC counted it down, and Raquel threw her bouquet on three. At the last second, Jay placed his hand on Hailey's back and shoved her forward, straight into the group of ladies who savagely fought each other for the bouquet. But as luck would have it, it landed perfectly in Hailey's unsuspecting arms. Hailey whirled around to glare angrily at Jay, but was distracted by all the congratulations from the other ladies. Raquel smirked wildly in Hailey's direction and held up her glass in cheers. Hailey really wanted to die now. A nudge from Jay's right tore his gaze away from Hailey's blushing figure. "Guess that's as bold of a hint as any, isn't it?" An older man, cradling a glass of whiskey, commented while glancing at Hailey. "You thinking of popping the question?" Jay instantly paled. "Oh, no. It's — it's too early for that." As he looked on at Hailey speaking to Raquel, he realized it wouldn't actually be the worst thing in the world for this relationship to be completely authentic, because honestly, it felt much too real to argue against it any longer. "Maybe one day." "That was ballsy, Halstead," Hailey hissed when she finally made her way back. "I have half a mind to shove this bouque—" "Dance with me." Hailey stopped, blinking in surprised. "What?" "Dance with me," Jay repeated, shrugging like it was nothing. He placed his now empty glass back on the bar and took Hailey's hand to guide her to the dance floor. His hand settled on her waist while hers hung onto his shoulder, while simultaneously holding onto her bouquet. "I was just thinking." "Yeah?" Hailey hummed. "About what?" Jay pulled her closer so he could look over her shoulder as he spoke his next few words. "Someone asked me if I was planning on proposing soon, after you caught the bouquet." He almost laughed when Hailey stumbled and accidentally stepped on his foot. "But the idea didn't totally horrify me." "Jay, what are you saying?" Hailey pulled away to look at Jay; his words were only confusing her even more. "I think you're beautiful and I always have. I think I've known for a while but I couldn't bring myself to mess up another partnership. I like you, Hailey. And to be honest, I was really glad Adam wasn't available to come with you tonight, because I don't think I would've been able to keep my cool. I like you, Hailey, and I'd really like to take you out on a date. A real date." Hailey expected many things from tonight, but a full-blown confession from Jay I-Don't-Talk-About-My-Feelings-Ever Halstead, was definitely not one of them. 

"I — I would love that." A wide smile spread across Jay's features. "By the way, it was totally my crime scene." "Oh, shut up, Halstead."

💛

thank you for reading & i hope you enjoyed! x 

#cpd!ss2020 #chicago pd #one chicago #upstead #upstead fic #upstead fanfic #upstead fanfiction #jay x hailey #hailey x jay #halstead x upton #upton x halstead #chicago pd fanfiction #cpd fic #jay halstead #hailey upton #adam ruzek #kim burgess #vanessa rojas #kevin atwater

[odd-birds-and-booksellers]

‘my love will clothe your bones’

Part of the Chicago Pd Secret Santa, my lovely recipient was @puckluck28 I hope you love it, it’s honestly kinda scary writing someone a gift who you don’t know but I tried and it’s only my third time writing for Upstead.

Jay was lost in the chase, his surroundings going past in a blur as he zeroed in on the suspect heading a mile a minute down through the park. The heavy snow blanketing the ground didn’t stop him for a moment as he chased him down, he didn’t have to look behind him to know Hailey was there following closely along behind him. She was always there.

That was what having a partner was about; he never had to check she had his back.

He's so busy focusing on the offender he doesn’t even realise they’re on the ice until it’s too late watching as the offender stops dead at the sound of ice cracking under his feet as he turns back towards the detective with wide eyes.

“JAY” Hailey’s voice calls out from behind him.

It all happens to quickly, the sound of his pounding heart ringing in his ears and he can just hear the way the ice breaks away under her feet, the path is worn from where he’d just been as he spins around just in time to see the way her bright blue eyes find him, the panic reflecting in them as she disappears below the surface with a scream.

Everything around Jay blurred as he listened to Hailey’s panicked scream escape her lips just before her body was engulfed by the shockingly cold water. The chase is long forgotten as he tried to keep his head straight, ignoring the way his heart felt like it was being ripped from his chest. He should call it in, get help before making his way over to the cracked edge but all the training and protocols go out the window as the image of her scared face from moments ago flashes through his mind and he finds himself diving into the icy depths without a seconds thought.

The water felt like tiny, little daggers piercing her skin all at once. She intended to swim up, back to the hole she had descended from, but it was nowhere in sight. Just solid ice lay before her. The panic burned her throat as she met the surface, her hand pushing against the solid ice above her. She was trying to stay calm, stay focused and find her way out of there but she felt the heavy weight of her winter boots and coat begin to drag her down with every frantic move.

Just when everything started to get black, she hears a second splash. Feeling two strong arms wrap around her.

She knew instantly that it was Jay, the way his arm grabbed her waist pulling her back towards the break in the ice. Hailey began to splutter as they broke the surface, Jay's arms never leaving her as he hoisted her up effortlessly onto the ice beside them, carefully guiding her over to the edge of the lake, keeping her close to his own body as he dragged them to safety.

“Hailey...” Jay's eyes scanned her for any injury as he pushed back the wet hair sticking to her face so he could get a good look at her. He was soaked, his skin turning bright red in reaction to the below-freezing water as he kept one arm around Hailey holding her close to him.  “Hailey are you okay?”

His eyes never leave hers as he catches his breath beside her, waiting for her to answer. She tries to ignore the way heat spreads through her from his body is pressed tightly against hers, she's trying to respond but the words seem trapped in her throat that still burning from the icy water. Before she knows what’s happening she’s being lifted up into his arms, and she feels his lips press to her forehead.

What happens next goes by in a blur, she can hear Jay's voice as he barks out orders to bystanders. She’s not sure where she is, her eyesight fading to black, the only comfort being that she’s still wrapped tightly in Jay's arms, he’s there, he's there with her and so nothing can ever be really that bad. At least that’s what she tells herself as she drifts out of consciousness.

When Hailey comes around a while later she finds herself in the familiar rooms of Gaffney Chicago Medical Center. She winces as she adjusts to the bright lights of the hospital room, she still feels frozen, her brain seemingly functioning in slow motion as she attempts to sit up, moving ever so slowly, she spots Jay instantly curled up in a chair far too small for his tall stature by her bedside.

His eyes are already on her, his intense gaze looking a little lost as he realises that she was awake. He seems to shake off the trance he was in making Hailey’s heartbeat pick up as he shuffles closer pressing his lips to her forehead, brushing her hair back as he scans her face.

“Hi”

“Hey…” Her voice is croaky as she speaks, she tries to wiggle out of the blankets that have been placed tightly around her.

“How are you feeling?” Jay sits back in the seat beside her but his eyes never leave hers, making Hailey squirm slightly, it was all still a little foggy, she couldn’t even remember getting here.

“Like I ate way too much ice cream...major brain freeze.”

“Yeah, I bet…” Jay laughs, letting out a breath he’d been holding in pretty much since the ice had broken, he’d tried to keep himself in work mode, stay focused, stay on task but it had been hard, his brain had been overdrive for the last few hours imaging every worst-case scenario. He’d felt uncomfortable when the rest of the team had shown up, Kim had praised him, even called him a hero for saving Hailey so quickly even with him being an idiot and risking his own life. But he hadn’t felt like a hero, he should’ve noticed the lake, he should've seen they were on ice before he led Hailey there. This was his fault.

“How are you? Are you-“

He shook his head, he was fine, he’d already been checked out, the adrenaline had kicked in before he’d hit the water, it pretty much shielded him, he was fine, the physical pain was nothing compared to the pain he’d felt as she's gone limp in his arms. “I’m fine Hailey, seriously all good and warm.”

She stares at his smiling face for a moment, she knows his smile is all for show by the way it doesn't quite meet his eyes and it makes her heart hurt to knows he holding back from her.

“You wanna know what I was thinking when I fell?” Hailey croaks swallowing hard as Jay leans forward in his chair, grabbing hold of her hand. They weren’t usually this touchy, they'd barely even hugged before, but she can’t seem to stop the words tumbling from her mouth, maybe she wasn’t thinking straight or maybe it was almost death experience but she really couldn't stop herself from telling him, especially if it would wipe that sad look from his face.

“What?”

“For a moment I thought it wouldn’t be so bad if your face was the last one I saw.”

“Really?” Jay raises his eyebrows in surprise as he scoots closer. He ignored the way his chest swells at her words because hell he's had that same thought so many times over the last couple of years, while he laid there bleeding out her face, those blonde locks and blue eyes lit up his dreams. They make him feel safe when he's not, they let him know show him the way home when he's lost.

“Mhmm”

Hailey just smiles and he’s pretty sure it’s not his Hailey talking, or maybe it is, he knows they’ve had moments especially since she returned from New York, they both always seemed to just skate around the idea not wanting to risk losing what they already had.  “I think that’s the drugs talking.”

“No…” Hailey's eyebrows furrow as she shakes her head before the pain hits her again, winching which makes Jay chuckle as he helps her sit back, shifting her pillows behind her head. “No, I think I’m talking.”

“Oh, you most definitely are...you should get some rest, I’m gonna go tell someone you’re awake.” Jay stands carefully, his body still aching from its own frozen adventure as he moves towards the door.

“Hey, Jay.”

“Yes, Hailey.”

“I love you…” The words fall from her mouth effortlessly, like she’d said them a thousand times before as her eyes flutter shut, leaving Jay frozen in the doorway, his cheeks flushed as he stares at her, he hadn’t been expecting her to say that. That really must be the drugs talking. “I...erm”

“You don’t have to say it back just because I did,” Hailey mumbles her eyes still closed as she snuggles further into the bed, pulling the blankets up around her neck.  “I’m gonna go back to sleep now.”

Jay sighs stuck in the doorway, frozen. He couldn't have heard her right, there's no way Hailey Upton just muttered an I love you without being sarcastic. He makes his way back over to her bed, a slight smirk across his face as he looks down at the blonde, she has no clue just how many times she’d made his heart stop today. “I love you too...now get some sleep.”

-

“You good?” Jay hadn’t stopped fretting over her, since she'd been released. Even now as they made their way up to Hailey's apartment, Jay was hot on her tail, so close she could practically feel his hands just hovering around her waist ready to grab her at any moment.

“Jay you don’t have to keep fussing over me I’ve got this. You heard Will I’m good, you can go home.”

Jay scoffs as he pushes past her in the doorway, making himself at home as he plops himself down on the couch throwing his feet up on the coffee table. “Yeah, I’m not going anywhere...”

“I’m serious Jay.”

Hailey narrows her eyes on him as she leans against the kitchen island. He’d been way more overprotective then usual, he was always checking on her, making sure she was alright that's just how their partnership worked but this...this felt different, his hands were always on her, and while his touch filled her with a warmth she desperately needed right now, it also made it impossible to think straight.

“Hailey there’s no way in hell I’m leaving you right now.”

“Okay...thanks”

“Of course...I’m always gonna be here Hails”

She settles beside him on the sofa letting herself relax beside him like she had so many times before, trying to ignore the unspoken tension between them as she closes her eyes, the exhaustion of the day finally taking over.

“So…”

Hailey peers over at Jays who’s looking at her expectantly pulling at a loose thread on one of her cushions. He almost looks nervous which makes her heart plummet in her chest, she knows that look and she was hoping...praying actually that the words shed slipped out in a daze he’d just let be, maybe when she was feeling better he’d tease her and she’d be able to talk them away but right now...right now she had no excuse, right now she was tired of excuses, and it wasn’t helped by the fact that he's giving her that stupid puppy dog look, his hand reaching out for hers like he had no idea what his touch does to her.

“So?”

“You said something in the hospital.”

“I did?”

“You did.”

“Well, what did I say?”

“You said that you wouldn’t mind my face being the last thing you saw.”

“What? That face?” Hailey exclaims gesturing towards him, her face scrunching up in mock disgust. “Must’ve been on some strong drugs I was on because nobody wants to see that stupid face.” She laughs awkwardly staring down at their intertwined hands, hoping her half deforested brain wouldn’t let her down as she made her excuses.

Jay feigns being hurt as he clutches at his chest dramatically, falling back against the sofa. “God if I was fragile guy Hailey you’d hurt me.”

Hailey laughs, relief flooding through her because this feels like them, this is what she knows...what she loves. What she loves. He’s what she loves...and she hates this, this standing on the edge being too scared to jump. What if she had died today? She’d have never have known, he’d never have known, they’d both have been standing on the edge of something great and they'd just never know.

“Was that it? Was that all I said?”

“You also said…” Jay trails off, his gaze averting to the floor. Her blue eyes always seem to see right through him, and he knows right now she can read him better then anyone else can. He doesn't know what makes him bring it up, logically he knows she was drugged up, she wasn’t in her right mind she probably didn’t even mean it like that. He already knew he meant a lot to her; she probably meant she loved him like family.

“Jay?”

“You know it doesn't really matter now.” He shakes his head, standing up abruptly, swallowing the words. “You need some rest…come on.”

“You sure?” Hailey grabs hold of his arm as he tries to pass her because quite frankly she’s tired, she’s tired of dancing around it and she wants to say it, she wants to say it when one of them isn’t almost dead.  “You sure I didn’t say anything about being in love with you.”

Jay recoils, whipping around as Hailey keeps a firm grip on his arm, his eyes finding hers, that same scared look from earlier today staring back at him. “What you know?”

“Yeah I mean of course I did, I said it.”

“I thought you were out of it.”

“Well, you thought wrong.” Hailey looks little teary-eyed as she stands letting out a shaky breath. “Look I’m not expecting you to say it back but I made a promise that if we were ever back in that hospital I’d say it...I wanted to say it that day after you’d been shot and I chickened out then and I just...I don’t want something to happen to you and never say it, I just wasn’t anticipating for it to be me laying in the hospital bed.” She laughs quietly, her gaze falling to her feet.

“But I did...I did say it back then.” Jay mumbles his hand reaching out to grab her chin lifting up because if he's gonna say it, he sure as hell needs her to look at him.

“But you don’t have to, I mean you were  just being polite…”

“Hailey shut up..." Jay cuts her off, grabbing hold of her waist. "I love you." The next second is the longest second of his life, he watches as that wide smile spreads across her face, making her eyes sparkle as she looks up at him. He can't wait another moment, his lips meet hers frantically as he feels her hands tangle at the back of his neck and he’s sure it’s never felt like this before.

“I love you,” Hailey mumbles against his lips a while later, an uncharacteristic giggle falling from her lips as he continues to pepper kisses around her face like he can’t get enough and he's not sure he ever will get enough. “Damn...I should fall through ice more often.

Jay groans, pulling back in horror as he shakes his head. “Oh no, never ever to do that to me again...my heart won’t survive it.” He jokes, laughing as Hailey rolls her eyes, before pulling him back down until his lips find hers again.

#cpd!ss2020 #chicago pd #upstead #whump #one chicago #chicago pd fic #hailey upton #jay halstead #upstead fanfiction #upstead fanfic #secret Santa #jesse lee soffer #tracy spiridakos

[upsteadhq]

snowy surveillance

prompt: “if i hear you complain one more time about being bored i’m going to shove you outside and lock the door. there you can be bored and cold”

for @cpdfan231. happy holidays! from your secret santa :)

The one thing Hailey didn’t expect to be doing on Christmas Eve was sitting in the surveillance van in the middle of a very dodgey alleyway.

They had gotten a lead in the case Intelligence was working, one they were so close to finishing, and after losing a bet with Adam and Kevin over who would do the surveillance, she found herself sat there next to Jay, watching over at the building across the street.

It was nearing midnight, the dimmer light of the alley allowing them to sit up the front of the van to watch, rather than in the back - which was only a little helpful because of the heater, even though it was basically busted because had been used so much the last few hours.

There was no movement from outside the building, or inside the building, or anywhere around the building and Hailey could feel herself getting bored, and she could tell Jay was feeling the same.

“We could play a game to pass the time?” Hailey suggests after hearing Jay groan under his breath for the third time.

Jay shoots her a quizzical look, raising his eyebrows slightly. “We’re not kids, we don’t need to play a game.”

Hailey shrugs her shoulders. “Well then what do you suggest?” She asks, “Because I’m not listening to you complain any more.”

She can see him wiggle his eyebrows beside her and she already starts rolling her eyes before his verbal response could leave his mouth.

“I mean I have one idea.” He responds coyly.

Now it was Hailey’s turn to shoot him a stare over her shoulder, this one a mix of being slightly unamused as well as trying to hide the blush creeping on her cheeks.

They stare to each other for a beat before Hailey turns away, letting out a breathless chuckle as she puts her eyes back on the building.

Since Hailey’s job offer with the FBI the two of them had acknowledged their feelings toward each other and they had acted on it a few times, spending the night at the other’s place on more than one occasion, but they both were still trying to figure out the grounds of where they currently stood, relationship-wise.

“Very funny,” Hailey mumbles under her breath, keeping her gaze locked on the building, waiting for any signs of movement around it, “I’m being serious though, if I hear you complain one more time about being bored I’m going to shove you outside and lock the door. There you can be bored and cold.”

Jay puts his hands up in a fake surrender. “Alright, I won’t bring it up again.”

“Thank you.” She says with a slight smile creeping up on her lips and then the van goes into a silence again.

The next few minutes go by before the door they were watching swings open, one of their targets stepping out into the cold Chicago winter and it makes them sink down in their seats. Jay brings the camera up to his eye, snapping a few pictures of their man leaving the building whilst remaining as hidden as he could. As fast as the guy appears though, he disappears around the corner and out of their eye line.

“Should we follow him?” Jay furrows his brows, putting the camera back down from where he had picked it up.

Hailey shakes her head. “Hang low for a few more, just in case someone else comes out.” She instructs and he nods, them both putting their full attention back on the door again.

Just as they fall into a silence again it’s broken suddenly by Jay banging his fist against the heater. “Is this thing on?”

“Jay, you know the thing’s busted, hitting it won’t help.” Hailey sighs but despite this, Jay throws another fist at the radiator.

He huffs. “It’s freezing in here.”

Hailey’s response was almost immediate. “I’m well aware of that fact.” She mumbles as she swears she can see her breath.

Another beat goes by before Jay starts talking again, his words yet another complaint. “Can’t they just all leave the building? It’s boring one by one.”

Hailey swiftly turns her head to face him. “That counts as bringing up you’re bored.” She says, leaning across the seat and trying to reach for the door handle beside him.

“What? No it doesn’t, I didn’t say those specific words!” He shouts, trying to fight against her shoves to get him out of the van.

He doesn’t fight against it for much longer, either that or she regains feeling in her fingers enough to be able to actually shove him out of the van. She quickly slams the door shut before he can climb back in and shoots him an innocent smile as he stands on the other side looking very unamused.

He taps his finger against the glass. “Okay you made your point, ha-ha-ha very funny, now can you please open the door?”

Hailey takes her gaze from the window and shakes her head as she looks back to the door in front of her. “Nope.” She replies, emphasizing the ‘p’.

“You do know it’s in the low 20’s at the moment, right?” Jay asks, and Hailey gives him a knowing nod in response, “Good, so you know it’s freezing right now, please open the door.”

“I told you not to bring it up again.”

“I know and trust me, I deeply regret it, now can you please let me in before I freeze?” He asks.

Hailey watches him drop his face into the best puppy-dog eyes he had and she can’t help but feel a little sympathetic for him, knowing how cold it really was out there today. She almost caves but then changes her mind half way to the door, shaking her head to him once again.

It was only another ten minutes or so before they got called back to the district so he wasn’t out there that long but she doesn’t hear the end of it for a long time.

At least he never brought up how bored he was whilst doing surveillance again though.

#cpd!ss2020 #upstead fic #jay halstead #chicago pd #hailey upton #upstead #one chicago #secret santa #chicago pd fanfiction

[samantha-chicago]

Catching Bullets - Secret Santa

Summary: You and Adam are chasing a suspect when he gets shot

Pairing: Adam Ruzek X Reader

Based From: Chicago PD 08X02

Prompt: Fanfiction with either Kevin or Adam; angst or hurt/comfort

Recipient: @sonsofeorl

Warning/s: Mentions of Gunshots, Guns, Paedophile 

A/N: Hope this is what you wanted. Have a great Christmas!

I'm really not feeling to great and because it's Christmas day I had to post this but hopefully the rest of my Christmas prompts will be up tomorrow

You and Adam were chasing a suspect through the streets. Well suspect is a nice word you were chasing a paedophile through the streets.

"Split up we'll catch him faster" Adam said and you nodded

"50-21 Frank going North on Halstead St" You called in splitting up from Adam. You were running along with guns drawn until you heard a gunshot

"ADAM" You shouted running towards the gunshots

"Adam" You spotted him as he took a giant breath before groaning

"50-21 Frank 10-1 10-1 we have shots fired officer down roll an ambo to the corner of 2412 Halstead St" You radioed in before crouching next to Adam

"Where is he? Where is he?" You asked keeping your gun raised

"He's gone" Adam whispered and you holstered your gun quickly before pulling his vest off

"Let's get this off" You panicked

"I'm good I'm good"

"No you're not shut up" Pulling his shirt up you saw the giant bruise on his ribs

"It didn't go through" You said taking his hands

"I know I know. Walace kept going you should go"

"No it hit your ribs you breathing alright?"

"Fine winds just knocked out" Sirens arrived and Sylvie jumped out with Mackey

"What we got?" Sylvie asked

"Gunshot wound to the ribs didn't go through"

"Ruzek really? Come on let's get you to med" You, Mackey and Sylvie helped Adam up and into 61. Sitting in the back with Adam you took his hand in yours

"You had me scared for a second there"

"I'm sorry baby" After Adam was checked out you drove him home and got him on the couch before going to get a bag of peas for his ribs

"Are you feeling ok? Do you want anything?"

"I want my girlfriend to stop worrying and to lie down with me"

"Ok fine" You sat down on the couch next to Adam's good side as he pulled you into his side.

"Are you sure you don't want anything?"

"I'm good baby I promise all I have is right here"

"What that bag of peas?"

"Yeah that and you" Kissing him deeply you let your emotions out

"Hey baby what's wrong?"

"When I saw you lying there you were unconscious and I thought the bullet had missed the vest"

"I'm here baby and I'm not going anywhere."

#Adam Ruzek #reader x adam ruzek #adam ruzek x reader #adam ruzek imagine #adam ruzek x you #christmas #christmas prompts #christmas 2020 #samanthaschristmas2020 #cpd!ss2020 #secret santa

[puckluck28]

A Merry Upstead Christmas!

This one is for my lovely Chicago PD Secret Santa recipient @upsteadhc for the prompt: “any prompt from an angst or fluff list” so I figured what’s better than an Upstead pregnancy oneshot. A little bit of angst, a little bit of fluff, I hope you enjoy it! Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday Season!

*The prompts I’ve used are highlighted in bold. 

For Better or For Worse, Even When Pregnant

Hailey glanced at their front from her spot on the couch in their dimly lit living room before checking the time on her phone for what felt like the hundredth time. At reading the numbers that read 1:28 AM plastered over her background that was a photo of her and Jay from their gender reveal party a few months ago, she sighed and took another sip from her now semi-cold tea. Fighting the urge to close her eyes with each passing moment, she’d been hoping for a voice mail, a quick text, something, anything that would give her enough relief so she could at least attempt to sleep, but there was nothing, and the wait was driving her crazy. Since their last call, there was an uncomfortable feeling eating at her insides, something in the pit of her stomach that had been growing for a few days, and she knew it wasn’t just her nerves growing from being only a week away from her due date. She’d gotten this same feeling a few times in the past few years, and she prayed to God that this time wasn’t like those other times. 

Where the hell are you, Jay?

The unit had caught a big case a week ago: a dead pregnant girl that led the team to an international human and child trafficking ring smuggling young girls from all around the world into the States, forcing them to get pregnant, and selling the babies to God knows what kind of people. It was an understatement to say it was a rough case, even for Intelligence’s standards, and from the limited information Hailey knew about it from her lunch dates with Jay at the precinct, and the occasional calls and visits from Kim and Vanessa so Hailey wouldn’t actually lose her mind staying at home, it wasn’t going to be a walk in the park to solve. 

On a regular night, Hailey wouldn’t worry about Jay staying late to go over evidence or to work on paperwork, especially while they were working a new case, but this time felt different. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but there was something about the way Jay had been especially quiet at home the past few days, those days that he had actually made it home before Hailey went to bed. It was almost as if he had been trying to avoid her, and successfully so. Then there were his texts: one word answers after taking forever to respond, that was if he responded. It wasn’t like she was expecting immediate responses or constant texting either. She knew that whenever a big case, especially something this big hit, it was all hands on deck with no room for distraction, but she at least expected a response, any response, when she asked if he’d be coming home for dinner, or if he was okay.

Now, having been partners with Jay for seven years, dated for two of those and married for one, Hailey could tell when a case, or someone, was irking him. So when he had started acting a little off the first time, she had given it to the combination of the caseload and having to work with a new partner now that she was officially on maternity leave, and done with desk duty, as per Voight and Platt’s orders. Jay’d been looking to find something to complain about his new partner from the day Voight had brought in Detective Aiden Thomas, a freshly minted detective from narcotics, as Hailey’s temporary replacement. Whether it was the way the young detective tabbed evidence files or the way he sipped his coffee during stakeouts, Jay found an excuse to text her, whining about being stuck with the new kid. So when the texts got more staggered and eventually stopped, Hailey had started getting suspicious and when she hit absolute radio silence the entire day that day, with no luck during the night either, Hailey knew it was time to call in back-up.

Around 10:00pm or so, Will had been the first person on her call list, not wanting to alert anyone on the team just yet if the older Halstead could reassure her enough to get that sleep she oh so craved. It also helped that she knew that Will was on call that night, him having shared his work schedule with Hailey since she was so close to her due date and who knew where Jay would be if she went into labor. Unlike his younger brother, Will had picked up Hailey’s call in two short rings. “Hailey? What’s up? Are you okay? Is it the baby?” He had asked in doctor mode. 

“Yea, we’re good. I was calling to see if you heard anything from Jay today?”

“Jay? He was here this morning to talk to an injured suspect but that’s about it.”

“Did you realize anything off with him?”

“Not that I could tell. He and his new partner were in and out. I didn’t even see them leaving.” Hailey sighed in defeat at her brother-in-law’s response. She had really hoped he would say something that would ease her growing nerves. “Hey, is everything okay?”

“Yea, yea things are fine.” Hailey took a deep breath. “I just haven’t heard from him the whole day and he hasn’t come home yet and…” Her voice trailed off as her words died.

“I can-”

“No, that’s alright.” She cut him off, turning down his offer. “I don’t want him to worry if they are working.”

“You sure?”

“Yea, knowing Jay, he’ll think I’m in labor or something and freak out.” She attempted at a joke to hide her worry. 

“You know, it would teach him not to ignore his pregnant wife.” That even earned a soft chuckle from Hailey.

“Thanks, Will. It’s not even that late, I’m sure it’s just me being paranoid.” She tried brushing it off. “You know how much I love staying home all day.”

“Don’t I know it?” Will went along even though he knew that for Hailey to be calling him, she must have a good reason to worry. “You and Jay are the worst people at enjoying doing nothing.”

“Yea, I’m ready to go back to work once your niece finally graces us with her presence.” She told him, her hands instinctively rubbing her 38, almost 39, week along belly at the thought of finally getting to meet her baby.

“I’d be careful wishing on that this close to your due date, Hailey. It might happen any day now.” He jokingly warned her, hoping he was providing some comfort with this distraction.

“I think it’s safe to say when it happens, you’ll be one of the first ones to know. I guess the first one to know if it happens during this call.” Hailey responded, though the only thing she could think of as silence fell was what she’d do if she were to go into labor now and Jay was nowhere to be found.

“Regardless, you know I’m here if you need me.” Will broke the silence.

“Thanks, Will. I’ll let you get back to work.”

“Alright, but seriously, call me if you need anything. I’ll be up all night.”

“I will. Thanks, again. Good luck with your shift.”

“Any time. Now stop worrying about that knucklehead and try to get some sleep.” Will jokingly ordered and with a mumble of agreement, Hailey hung up. Sleep… She really hoped she’d be able to get a little bit of it that night.

She’d given him about an hour after calling Will, called and texted a few times, but when those had gone unanswered once again, she’d moved to the next person on her list and called Kim, really hoping that they were really just working late and she wasn’t waking her up. “Hey, Hails, everything okay?” Like Will, Kim picked up the call in a few rings. It was almost as if everyone who knew Hailey was on call to answer her calls except for her husband. 

“Hey, sorry I’m calling so late. Am I interrupting anything?”

“No, no, actually Kev just came back from a coffee run so I was taking a break.” Kim answered, followed by a yawn. 

“Case wearing you down?”

“It’s a bad one. We found two of our suspects, who of course didn’t go down without a fight. One of them took a bullet to the knee so we are waiting for Med to release him into our custody when he’s done and the other’s downstairs.” Another yawn. “But looks like it’s gonna be a rough night. Well, I guess morning.”

“Everyone okay?” Hailey asked after hearing that their suspect had put up a fight. If he had gotten shot, it meant that he had started the shooting, and her heart started racing thinking all the worst case scenarios. Surely she would have been notified if something serious had happened to Jay, but with the way he had been so distant lately, maybe that had been it: he had gotten injured and was avoiding her calls. 

“Everyone’s good, came out without a scratch.” Hailey released the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “Hey, is everything okay with you?” Kim asked upon hearing Hailey’s loud exhale of breath. “Oh my god are you in labor?”

“No, everything’s good here. No baby just yet.” She answered quickly, getting that out of the way. “I was calling to see if Jay’s around. I’ve tried calling him a few times but his phone kept going to voicemail, but I guess you guys are busy so I’ll let you go.”

“Ummm, Hails, Jay left a while ago.”

“Oh?” Kim’s answer took Hailey by surprise, an unpleasant one. She lost her train of thoughts and stuttered as she tried finding the words to ask her next question. “Did he- umm, did he say where he was going?”

“No, sorry. We all figured he was gonna go home and get some sleep. It’s been a rough day for him.”

“What happened? Is he okay?” It felt weird to not know that Jay’d had a rough day. It felt weird being the one to ask what was happening with him. 

“One of the suspects we caught turned out to be ex-military. Someone Jay knew back in the day.” Kim told her. “I think Jay was hoping the lead would turn out to be bogus since his name came up a few days ago but…” The rest was obvious. Finding out an old buddy involved in such a disgusting case must have taken a toll on him, and understandably so. What Hailey couldn’t figure out was why he hadn’t talked to her about it, and the question hurt her more than she thought it would. “Jay must have gone on a drive or something. I’m sure he’s on his way home though.” 

“Yea, yea, you’re right. I’ve probably just been losing my mind from having to stay home.” She tried laughing it off again, just like she had done it with Will, but this new found

“Oh, tell me about it! A few days is enough to drive you insane.” Kim commented, as bittersweet it was, remembering having to stay back during her short lived pregnancy so many years ago. 

“Oh yea.” Hailey tried acting her usual chipper self but the fake smile plastered on her face failed to reach her voice. “Anyway, I should let you enjoy your break.”

“You sure everything’s okay?”

“Yea, yea, everything’s fine. I’m getting pretty tired anyway and you guys are busy.” She added a fake yawn to her sentence which made Kim yawn as well. “Thanks for the conversation.”

“You want one of us to drop by? I know Kevin’s about to head home for a quick nap and-”

“No, that’s fine.” Hailey cut her friend off before she could finish the sentence. “It’s pretty late.”

“Alright, well Adam, V and I are gonna be staying here tonight if you need anything. Just give us a call, alright?”

“Thanks, Kim. I really appreciate it. Enjoy your break and good luck!”

“Good night, Hails.” The line went dead, leaving Hailey to her thoughts, wondering where her husband was, worst case scenarios running through her head. The last time he had gone awol, he’d gotten kidnapped, shot and almost died. She couldn’t go through that again. Not now. Not when they were about to have it all. With tears in her eyes, Hailey swore he would never forgive Jay if he left them alone.

About another hour or so later, the clock almost hitting three in the morning, Hailey was just about ready to give up, go to bed. She was exhausted, achy, and really, all she wanted was to know that Jay was safe. They could deal with this, whatever it was, in the morning. Hell she didn't even care if it meant that he’d continue avoiding her, and she’d have to wobble to the precinct in her pajamas. That being said, she knew sleep was her enemy tonight and the moment she would decide to go to bed, the oh so tempting sleep that had been trying to pull her into dreamland would disappear the moment her head’d hit the pillow. Not that sleep was really an option with their daughter kicking up a storm in her belly either.

“It’s okay, munchkin.” Hailey rubbed the spot she kept feeling the kicks. “It’s all gonna be okay.” Realizing she had no tea left, she threw her blankets off and stood up to stretch. If she was going to stay up, she needed to keep herself otherwise occupied. “Let’s get mommy some tea and you some of those cookies you crave so much.”

Hailey was about to head to the kitchen to get herself another cup of tea and get a snack when the sound of the door opening startled her. Her head instinctively turned towards the source of the noise, and watched frozen as Jay’s silent silhouette moved in the foyer. She held her breath as her eyes followed his every move: The way he snuck into his own house, the way he took his jacket and shoes off as quietly as possible, thinking Hailey was already asleep, the way he tiptoed further into the dark house.  Watching his arm reach for living room light switch, Hailey prepared herself to face their current situation, and when the lights turned on, bringing the couple face to face, a loud silence surrounded them. “Hails? Why are you awake? Everything okay? Is it the baby?” Jay listed his questions, alarmed. 

“Yea, yea we are fine but I guess I should be the one asking you that.” Hailey shot back, needing him to know that what happened today was NOT okay. “What’s going on, Jay?”

“Nothing, nothing. I’m fine.” He gave her his staple bullshit of an answer as he walked further in and towards her in the living room. “Just a long day at work.”

“Well, I know for a fact you’re not “fine”, so wanna try again?” Hailey crossed her arms over her chest, her words stopping him on his tracks to walk over to greet her.

“I-” He started but seemed to be at a loss of words. 

“Jay, I’m worried about you.” She cut him off at the realization that he needed a push before he’d really open up. “You haven’t picked up your phone or answered any of my texts and I had to find out from Kim that you had a rough day. What’s going on?”

“Hails, I’m just really tired and just want to go to sleep.” He was hiding behind an excuse, but at least it was an honest one, and Hailey considered that a good start.

“Alright, if that’s what you want, we can go to bed. I’m glad you’re safely home.” She told him with a flat yet soft tone. She didn’t want to discourage him from opening up, but his actions had terrified and hurt her, and she couldn’t just pretend that it was all fine now that he was home. “But we are gonna talk about this, Jay.” She added, letting him know he wasn’t off the hook. “What happened today, the radio silence… The last time that happened, I almost lost you and the thought of losing you, especially while I can’t even be out there,” The memory of what Angela Nelson put them through hitting her straight in the pregnancy hormones and feelings, she could feel tears welling in her eyes, but she wouldn’t cry. She refused to. “It, it terrified me,” She looked down her body in an attempt to avoid his eyes and blink away the tears as she protectively put both her hands on her bulging belly. “It terrified us.” She sighed. “We, we have to talk about it.”

“I can’t do anything right, can I?” Jay muttered more to himself than Hailey, disappointed in himself. He knew he was in the wrong. He knew he shouldn’t have pushed Hailey away, but this case, these past few days, then what happened in the morning… It had brought up so many painful memories, so much rage, so much fear that he simply hadn’t known where to start. “You must hate me for what I put you through today, huh?”

“I don’t hate you, Jay. I will never hate you.” Hailey’s voice softened. “But I hate that after all this, you’re still trying to lie to me.”

“Hails…”

“Yes, Jay?”

“This case has been terrifying.” He started to confess. “When we found that pregnant girl, the way her body was left behind, all I could think of was you and what I would do if I found you like that.” He was finally opening up. “Then we found out that one of the suspects is an old army buddy of mine and when we interviewed him today…” He shook his head, the memory of the interrogation room replaying in his mind and he collapsed on the couch in defeat. “He looked me in the eyes and said “You’d make pretty babies. Should consider changing careers.” with the smuggest smile, and Hailey, the things I wanted to do to him for bringing our kid into it… And then all my anger turned into this fear of failing you and Aislyn and, God, Hailey, it paralyzed me. I couldn’t think of anything else.”

“Jay,” She got it. She really did, but the silence and distance had hurt. “Holding everything in doesn’t help you know.” She told him as she walked over to take a seat next to him and put a supportive hand on his back. “Why didn’t you tell me what was happening?”

“I know I should have.” He looked at her with tear sheathed eyes, his greens tired and broken. “I mean I know I could have come to you. I trust you more than I ever trust myself, but I didn’t want to worry you especially with how close you are to your due date. It felt like by burdening you with my worries, I’d be failing you two before we even became parents.”

“I understand, Jay, but not knowing what was going on with you and having to call our friends and family only to find out from Kim that you’ve been having a rough time with this case worried me so much. I felt like an outsider and not your wife and best friend.” She took a deep breath, giving Jay some time to process her words. “Your worries and fears and rage will never be a burden on me, Jay. We said for better or for worse when we said I do. Being pregnant doesn’t change that.”

“God, I love you and I’m so damn sorry.” Jay pulled Hailey into his body and apologized with a broken voice upon realizing how much he had hurt her. The last thing he wanted to do had been to hurt her, but he realized trying to not be a burden was more hurtful to their partnership than anything. “I promise I’ll do better.”

“I know you will.” Hailey snuggled into his embrace before turning in his arms to be able to look him in the eyes again. “I love you, Jay.” She cupped his cheek in her one hand, and grabbed and guided his hand to rest over her belly with her other. “We love you. Unconditionally. Just remember that the next time you feel overwhelmed and I’m not there.” Feeling their daughter’s kicks under their palms, Jay leaned down to press a kiss on her lips; a kiss meant to seal his promise, to show his love, to give them both hope that they were stronger for facing their challenges. 

Their last few days had really taken a toll on both of them, but with everything out in the open now, and promises of love and hope had been made, they knew they could tackle anything as long as they trusted in each other, even when they didn’t trust themselves. 

So when they finally got into bed, tightly holding one another close, their daughter’s soft movements between them, they finally got the relieved rest they had been needing that day.

- @puckluck28

#cpd!ss2020 #chicagopd #chicago pd #upstead #one chicago #hailey upton #jay halstead #haileyupton #jayhalstead #jayxhailey #haileyxjay

[cpd5021]

Secret Santa Fic!!

Happy Holiday’s! I am so excited I got to participate in this Secret Santa event with some of the coolest Upstead peeps I know! I was given the prompt:

“I just tripped and fell face first into your crotch. End my life now, please.”

For @ruzek-halstead!!!

Hopefully this fic works for what you wanted with that hilarious prompt. I had lots of fun writing it! A special thanks to my secret Santa helper for the proofread/editing...you know who you are 😉😁. 

      Hailey and Jay’s relationship had evolved ever since she returned from New York. Their usual friendly banter had turned somewhat flirty recently, not that either of them had drawn attention to that fact. It seemed as though they were both aware of what the other person was thinking and for now they had settled into this new normal. That didn’t stop Hailey from experiencing the occasional blush at something he said or his eyes from lingering longer than they normally would. But this new status quo was something they were both seemingly okay with. Hailey couldn’t help feeling like she was back in high school, experiencing the throes of a first crush. Noticing all the little details about him or the way he would stand just a little closer now, linger at her desk just a little longer. And certainly something that wasn’t going unnoticed by her was her own reaction to these little things. The way her heart rate would increase when he would smile at her, the way her palms would slick when he sat to close. It was overwhelming and amazing all at the same time.

     She did her best to keep her own distance though, resisting the urge to place her hand on his shoulder when she was looking at something on his computer, clenching a fist at her side when all she wanted to do was brush her hand against his as they stood in line for coffee every morning, wanting to pull him into a hug at the end of a long day while they did their thing that worked over drinks. Hailey feared if she crossed that line, if she let that wall down, she might explode. And there would be no going back from that moment. So instead, she settled into the new normal and allowed herself to enjoy it as much as possible. 

    Today was like any other, started out slow but quickly picked up pace when they caught a case. What had appeared to be a straightforward home invasion had turned into something much bigger and the team ended up uncovering a history of hidden abuse within the family. The details of the case were leaving Hailey frustrated as she dealt with her own emotions the scenario had brought up. Jay, of course, had picked up on her tension and was doing his best to support her from a distance. He knew enough of her history to realize this case would get to her but he also knew her well enough that it was better to not push too much. So he did what he could to help, but from a distance. 

   Little did he know, his lingering looks and warm smiles were filling Hailey with an entirely different type of tension and it was wreaking havoc on her internally. She did her best to focus on cracking the case and putting this dirtbag behind bars and away from his family. After staring at her computer for over an hour, Hailey let out a sigh and pushed away from her desk, leaning back in her chair and rubbing at her eyes. Jay sent her a smile when their eyes met and motioned for her to grab her coat. Having nothing better to do, Hailey obliged and followed him down the steps and out to his truck. 

“You need lunch.”

He stated, jumping into the drivers side and grinning as she climbed in next to him. She rolled her eyes at him and shook her head in mock annoyance. Jay grinned again as he started the truck and pulled them out of the lot.

“Okay, well I need to eat.”

Hailey let out a chuckle and they fell into an easy silence. Jay drove them to one of her favorite diners not too far from the precinct and she happily followed him inside. It was slow on a Tuesday afternoon, leaving Hailey and Jay as only the third occupied table in the place. The young waitress came to take their drink order and Jay surprised Hailey when he answered yes to an appetizer. She watched as he quickly flipped through the menu before ordering a basket of fried pickles. Hailey raised her eyebrow in question, scrunching her face up in disgust at the thought. 

“What? You can’t tell me you don’t like them?”

Hailey, still grimacing, shook her head slightly and then laughed when Jay scoffed at her answer. The waitress returned with their drinks and the basket of the offending food. Jay picked up the tiniest piece he could find and handed it to Hailey, who skeptically took it from him and popped it into her mouth. She was pleasantly surprised to find that it was actually really good, not that she was going to admit that to Jay. She sipped at her drink, watching as he devoured the food in front of him and when he took a break to check his phone, she seized the opportunity to snag one from the basket, quickly popping it into her mouth. Jay’s peripheral vision was too trained for her own good though and he instantly whipped his head up, pretending to swat at her hand as she went for another. 

“Hey, hands off my pickles!”

He threatened, but his eyes glistened with amusement and his tone was teasing. She chuckled at him but rescinded her hand, holding his gaze for longer than she cared to admit. Hailey simply couldn’t look away from his eyes, the way they lit up when he laughed made her heart beat faster. Jay made no move to break the gaze either so both were surprised when the waitress cleared her throat beside them.

“Ahem, here’s the burger and then the chicken wrap.”

She set the food in front of them, looking like she wanted to roll her eyes but managed to keep the customer service smile plastered to her face. Hailey felt her cheeks flush slightly and quickly focused on the food in front of her. They settled into their meal and finished it in a hurry, needing to get back to work. As they pulled out of the diner’s parking lot, Jay took a turn she wasn’t expecting and she shot him a look. 

“I just need to swing by the bank real quick for a deposit, if that’s cool?”

She nodded when he glanced over and found herself thankful for the momentary break from his presence as he jogged into the building. Hailey tried to pull herself together, still reeling from the long look they had shared. Just as she managed to calm herself down, Jay returned to the truck and she was right back where she started. When they were almost to the precinct, Jay’s phone rang and it was Adam letting them know they had a lead. The two raced back up into the bullpen and gathered around to take in the update. Once Adam had clued everyone in, Hailey got to work at her desk and was thankful for the task to distract her from Jay. Kevin walked over to Jay’s desk, showing him something in a file he was holding. 

“How was lunch?”

Kevin asked nonchalantly while Jay jotted down the information. 

“Good. Except Hailey couldn’t keep her hands off my pickles.”

Hailey, who had chosen the absolute worst time to take a drink, choked on her water at his words. Her face instantly burned bright red as she patted herself and her desk dry. Kevin laughed at Jay’s joke and headed back to his desk. Jay stood from his chair, giving a quick stretch, but before he could go anywhere Kim walked in, instantly scrunching her face up. 

“God what is that smell?”

She glanced around the room, eyeballing everyone to find the offending odor. 

“Jay and Hailey had a pickle for lunch. Well, Hailey had Jay’s pickle. Or something like that.”

Adam rambled off, paying no attention to the room around him or the response his words received. 

“Fried pickles. I had fried pickles.”

Jay tried to clarify, moving out from his desk to stand in the open. Hailey’s face still burned and she wanted to be anywhere but this room. 

“Oh, I liked my version better.”

Adam teased, waggling his eyebrows slightly before returning his focus to his computer. Hailey couldn’t take it anymore and stood up from her desk, bolting around it and heading towards the break room. Except in her rush, she didn’t notice the loose cord sticking out from her desk which promptly tripped her and sent her flying towards Jay. He attempted to reach out and catch her but he was too slow and instead his step forward caused her to crash into the front of his jeans. Jay’s strong hands gripped her upper arms, hauling her back up into a standing position and she was pretty sure her face couldn’t burn any hotter. She darted around him and into the breakroom, collapsing into a chair and laying her forehead against the table. She heard him follow her in but couldn’t bring herself to look up.

“You okay?”

He asked, his tone sounding a little more timid than normal. 

“I just tripped and fell face first into your crotch. End my life now, please.”

She never looked up but heard him pull out the chair next to her and she could feel him sitting close. 

“Come on, face first into my crotch isn’t the worst thing in the world…”

He trailed off and she groaned into the wood of the table. She definitely couldn’t look up now. 

“Okay, that came out wrong. I just meant…”

He stuttered out as she groaned again. 

“Jay, stop talking.”

Her voice was muffled by her arm but he heard her loud and clear. 

“Will do.” 

He nodded, even though she wouldn’t see it. What she also didn’t see was the blush spreading across his own face. Hailey kept herself firmly planted against the table, pushing away all the thoughts of their new normal and what could happen if she pushed it just a little farther. If she met his eyes, she would have been surprised to see the same line of thinking behind his look as well. Maybe someday...

#cpd!ss2020 #upstead #jay and hailey #upton #Halstead #ahem

[sylvies-chen]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Chicago PD (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton, Jay Halstead & Hailey Upton Characters: Hailey Upton, Jay Halstead, Kim Burgess, Adam Ruzek, Kevin Atwater, Vanessa Rojas, Intelligence Unit (Chicago PD) Additional Tags: Upstead, cpd!ss2020, Christmas Party, Christmas Fluff, Found Family, Fluff, Unit!Family Moments, jay being a dumbass (again) Prompt: Upstead Fanfiction! I’m not going to be specific, I’ll leave it up to the writer, but any Upstead family Christmas theme. Preferably fluff but I’ll take a little angst as well. 

Summary:

Hailey has a secret to tell Jay on Christmas Day-- a little, nine-month secret-- right as their friends come over for their annual Christmas Day feast.

Part of the Chicago PD Secret Santa gift exchange for @haileys-jay, I hope you like it!! Happy Holidays <3 

#chicago pd #cpd!ss2020 #upstead #jay halstead #hailey upton #jay x hailey #hailey x jay

[onechicago-upsteadrhekker]

Hi everyone!

Here’s my submission for the Chicago PD Secret Santa gift exchange! Yes, I entered myself in my own event and I am not ashamed. 

My recipient was @odd-birds-and-booksellers. I’m so glad I got to write for this amazing writer and upstead fan and I hope this lives up to your expectations! 

The prompt was ‘Having a baby’. I put together a mood board for this fic that I hope you enjoy this as part of the fic! 

Link to fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28322244

I hope everyone has a very merry Christmas!

#cpd!ss2020 #secret santa #chicago pd #one chicago #upstead fanfiction #hailey x jay #jay x hailey #hailey upton #jay halstaed #gift #merry christmas #source: Walt Disney’s Dumbo lyrics to ‘Baby Mine’ #source: pinterest #source: instagram

[cpdfan231]

Secret Santa Fic

My Secret Santa recipient is @malrunaway. They requested an Upstead or Burzek fanfiction. Hope, you enjoy it!

I chose the prompt : Trudy organizes the guest list for the 21st District Christmas Party. 

Who’s Your Date?

It was a cold and windy morning like normal in Chicago, Trudy was working on some paperwork, when Jay walked into the district.

“Hey, Detective Chuckles come over here”. Jay sighed, he had not even had a cup of coffee to deal with whatever Trudy was going to ask of him.

“Yes, Sarge what can I help you with?” He said while trying to smile, but it didn’t quite reach.”

“Chuckles, you could put a little more effort into that smile, eh?” Trudy smirked

“Sorry, Sarge. I need some of this coffee.” He nodded his head in the direction of the two coffees in his hands.

“Don’t we all chuckles, don’t we all…” she mumbled looking at her empty coffee mug.

“So, what did you need, Sarge? I’m going to be late here in about five minutes.” Looking at his watch.

“I have not gotten your rsvp yet for the upcoming 21st District Holiday party. I need to know if you were planning on bringing a plus one.” She kept a straight face staring at him. 

“Sarge, have I ever brought a plus one?” Looking super confused at the question.

“Chuckles, I don't keep track of your love life or lack of one, I guess.” Jay rolled his eyes, “Thanks for the reminder.” 

“Fine, we can put this conversation on the back burner for now. But...it’s going to cost you.” Looking at the extra coffee he had in his hands. He sighed and looked down at it.

“Trudy, it was always meant for you, here you go.” He handed her the cup of coffee and headed up the stairs to join Intelligence.

Once, he got to his desk. He looked over and saw Hailey looking at him. She mouthed to him, “You’re late.” and Jay just whispered back looking annoyed, “You can thank, Trudy for that. Also, for your lack of coffee.” Hailey quirked her eyebrow and asked, “Do I want to know?”

“Nope. What did I miss?” Jay asked 

We got a case and Sarge wants us to do some canvassing, “You ready to head out?”

“Sure.” Jay grabbed his coat and keys and they headed to his truck.

Hailey walked past Trudy's desk, staring at her coffee in Trudy’s hands. Trudy noticed and smirked and pointed the coffee in her direction. “Hey Upton, you should have told your partner to bring you one. It’s like heaven in a cup.” Jay saw Hailey about to react, when he pulled her down the stairs out of the precinct. He whispered in her ear, “I promise next stop is the coffee shop, before we canvas. Let’s go.”

------

Back from canvassing, Jay and Hailey walked into the district and Trudy called out to Hailey, “Upton, can you come here for a second?” Hailey looked at Jay confused, “Hm.. I guess it's your turn.”

“Wait, my turn for what? She turned to look at Jay, but he had already bolted up the stairs to Intelligence. She turned to face Trudy, smiled, and slowly made her way to her.

“Sarge, what can I do for you?”

“Well, someone must have stopped for coffee. I see you're in a better mood. You RSVPed for the Christmas party, but I did not see a plus one on it. I just wanted to make sure that wasn’t a mistake.” Hailey looked shocked at the question, “Um, nope. I did not forget to add a plus one. Also, my coffee was hijacked by a desk Sergeant” 

“Really, who? Because I know you are not talking about me. Also, you know I have a nephew about your age. I could ask him.” Hailey was trying to keep her emotions in check throughout the conversation. “Really, I appreciate the offer. But, I’m good.”

“If you say so, well let me know if you change your mind. He’s got just as good of dance moves as myself. You definitely would not be disappointed” Trudy responded, raising her eyebrows up and down.

Hailey tries not to laugh, but it slips out a little bit. “Upton, what’s so funny?” Trudy just stared at her wanting a serious answer.

“Oh, sorry nothing. I was thinking back to when Kim and Adam started dancing on the bar at last year's party.” Hailey really hoped that Trudy would buy it and make her escape for the stairs.

“Nice try, Upton. Don’t ask for my help next time.” Hailey was about to respond back, "But, Sarge…" Trudy just kept blankly staring at her. She quickly pulled her cell phone out, “Oh, text from Jay, sorry Sarge, they need me upstairs.” She retreated to the stairs and headed up.

Trudy called after her, “Upton! I didn’t hear that phone go off.” But Hailey was long gone. 

----

Hailey walked back up to Intelligence and headed to her desk and sat down. Jay was about to ask her how that conversation went when Kim walked up to Hailey.

“Hey, Hailey. Got a second? Coffee?” Hailey shot Jay a quick smile and followed Kim to the break room. Once inside, Kim shut the door.

Hailey looked confusedly at Kim. Kim went over the coffee maker to grab herself a cup. “So, are you excited for the Christmas party coming up?”

“Um, yeah I guess.” Hailey answered not sure where this conversation was going after the one downstairs. She had her guard up.

“I’m excited to be going this year with Adam. At least if we end up dancing on the bar together this year, it won’t be so weird… They both started to laugh thinking back to that scenario, where Adam ended up shirtless on that bar top.

“Do you have a date for the party?” Kim asked curiously while sipping her cup of coffee.

Hailey was in the middle of drinking her coffee when Kim asked and almost choked on it.

“Sorry, are you and Trudy working together on something here?” Kim looked at her shocked, not expecting that answer. “Um...no? I was just trying to have some girl talk, but if it's a touchy subject we don’t have to talk about it.” Hailey sighed, “No, of course not. Let’s just say it was just brought up by Trudy downstairs. Kim chuckled and completely could picture that conversation. “So… How did that go?” she asked. 

“Kim, she was trying to set me up with her nephew!” Hailey replied and Kim just started laughing. Suddenly there was a knock on the break room door. Kim walked over to open it and behold, Trudy was standing there, looking annoyed.

“Ladies, do I need to remind you that those vents carry conversations.” She said while pointing at the wall.

Hailey and Kim just stood there speechless, and finally responded in unison, “Sorry, Sarge.” Trudy just huffed and stomped back down the stairs to her desk.

---

When Hailey and Kim came out of the breakroom. The guys were staring at them.

Adam asked, “What did you do to Trudy? Like what damage control is needed? I do not want to work any patrols shifts coming up." Jay and Kevin stood next to him nodding in agreeance.

Kim and Hailey looked at each other and Kim responded to the guys, “It’s a girl thing. Don’t worry about it?”

“Don’t worry, you gals know when Trudy is not happy, all of the 21st District is not happy. That's no bueno,” Kevin replied before Adam could say anymore. Hailey looked nervous and was quiet. Jay has been watching Hailey this whole time trying to read her.

“Hailey, what happened?” Jay asked.

Hailey quietly responded back, “Trudy was trying to set me up with her nephew for the Christmas party.”

Jay looked shocked and Adam replied, “Wait, what? You are going to have to repeat that a bit louder, I don’t think I heard that correctly.”

Hailey glared at him, “You heard me. I may have laughed slightly at her downstairs due to a dancing moves comment and then she heard me up here talking to Kim. “Those, damn, vents.” She mumbled.

Adam walked over to Hailey and put his hand on her shoulder, “Hm, well I think the only way you're going to be able to fix this is actually going on that date.” Kevin standing back nodded, “Sorry Hailey, I’m going to have to agree with Adam here. You're going to have to take one for the team.”

“Absolutely not!” She said loudly and then quickly quieted down and finished, to avoid another Trudy sighting, “I am not going on a date with her nephew…” Hailey, the whole time, tried to avoid looking at Jay.

“What it’s not like you had an actual date to the party, Hailey. Just do it.” Adam replied.

“Now, just because she does not have a date, does not give you guys the right to tell her what she has to do.” Kim replied trying to help Hailey out.

All of the sudden they heard a loud bang and heard Trudy yelling at some patrolman downstairs. Kim looked back at Hailey, “I love you girl, but I cannot deal with that the rest of the week. It’s only Monday.”

Hailey was speechless, she looked at her at the group of co-workers, and just threw her hands up in the air and walked to the locker room. She could not believe they were suggesting the only way to fix this was for her to go on a date with Trudy's nephew. Also, she could not believe that Trudy was taking it so personal, but again Trudy was protective over people she loved. Hailey knew that from many life-death scenarios they had all gone through in her years at the 21st.

“Bro, you need to go talk some sense into your partner.” Kevin told Jay. Jay slowly made his way down the hall following Hailey to the locker room.

--

Jay closed the locker room door behind him, and approached Hailey, who was sitting on the bench by her locker. Before he could say anything she noticed him and immediately started talking, “Can you believe them? I am not going on a date with her nephew.” She stood up and was pacing while explaining to Jay.

“Maybe, it’s time we tell them about “us.” He replied quietly. “It would definitely get Trudy off both our backs.” Hailey stopped in her tracks and turned around to face him.

“Wait, that’s why you were late this morning and without coffee? Didn't she have any nieces for you?” She asked. 

Jay just shrugged his shoulders and smiled back, “Lucky me?” Hailey playfully swatted her arms at his chest. All of a sudden Jay noticed Hailey's facial expression change. She replied, “If we are going to decide to let them know about “us,” I think we should have some fun messing with them all first.” 

“What did you have in mind?” Jay asked very curiously wondering where this was going to go. He definitely did not think it was going to be this easy to convince Hailey to come clean to the group.

“You are going to tell the group out there,” pointing out to the hall, “That, I went to talk to Sarge to fix it. We are all good.” Jay listened and asked, “What are you going to tell Sarge?” 

“A really good friend reached out and now I have a date for the Christmas work party. So, I can’t go with her nephew, and apologize.” She shrugged her shoulders, making it sound so simple.

“Oh, a really good friend, huh? Jay said teasingly, “Does he happen to have a name?” 

“I will call him, Jacob.” She slipped her arms around his waist and looked up and smiled at him.

“Think we can pull it off?” She asked. “I do.” He kissed her quickly before someone walked in, they separated and went off to handle their tasks individually. They had managed to pull off their little white lie that day. Hailey definitely did have a date, and no his name was not Jacob. It was Jay.

----

It was finally the night of the work party. Hailey and Jay decided to show up a little late, so that everyone would be there before they arrived.

At the party, the group of them were all talking. Trudy said, “So, apparently Upton has a date tonight?” The rest of the group looked at Trudy smiling. Kim replied, “I cannot wait to meet your nephew!” Trudy had just grabbed an appetizer of the plate from the waitress and dropped it on the floor. “Damn it, Burgess, my snack! Also, what do you mean my nephew? She isn’t coming with my nephew.”

The group all exclaimed, “Wait, what? Jay said, she was going down to talk to you and make things right." Kim commented.

“Goldilocks told me she has a date with a good friend named Jacob”, Trudy responded.

Kevin responded, “She never mentioned Jacob, did she?" Looking at Adam and Kim.

They responded in unison shaking their heads no.

Trudy was about to say something, then she stopped dead in her tracks staring at the front door. Kim asked, “Sarge, are you ok?”

“Turn around, Burgess. I think we all have been played like a little violin.”

“What are you talking about, Sarge? Kim asked. Trudy grabbed Kim's shoulders and turned her around pointing at the front door.

There stood Jay and Hailey at the front door, holding hands. The two of them saw the reactions from their team. Hailey smirked and just before she turned Jay, to lead him toward the bar, he sent a wink to the group.

“Well, damn we definitely got played.” Adam said.

Right at that moment, Voight walked by looking at the group and back at Jay and Hailey, “Wait, you guys didn’t know? You better start studying for the detective exam now. Because that was way easier to figure out, than any of the questions will ever be."

#cpd!ss2020 #chicago pd #cpd #secretsanta #upstead

[imagines-for-the-unpopular]

Christmas Lights

Pairing: Vanessa Rojas x Kevin Atwater

Warnings: fluff

Request: contribution to the @chicagopd-secretsanta event

for @gilbxrt-blythe

Prompt: a fic for Rowater where Kevin spends the Christmas break with Vanessa and her family as her fake boyfriend

Word count: 1.5k

A/N: Happy Holidays!✨🎄🎁  I hope you like it! It was my first time writing character x character, so I really hope it’s not too bad. Gif is mine.

Vanessa put down the phone with a somber look. She didn’t know why she had to lie to her family earlier, that she had a boyfriend. She felt like they wouldn’t worry about her that much if she wasn’t alone. Here was Christmas approaching and she couldn’t escape spending the holiday at her family, and of course they wanted to meet her boyfriend. She had to figure out a solution and fast, or things would tumble out of her hand.

Vanessa slowly set down her phone on the desk, the file of her last case before the holiday in front of her. With a loud sigh Vanessa closed the file and got up from her desk. She was about to put on her coat when Kevin appeared at the top of the stairs.

“Hey, you still here?” he asked, heading for his desk, grabbing his wallet, he must have left here.

“Yeah, just wrapping up my last case. But I am going now.”

“Cool. Wanna come to Molly’s? There is a Christmas party going on today.” he offered, looking at Vanessa with a hopeful gaze, which of course she didn’t notice, because she was too lost in her thoughts. An idea came to her mind, a smile lighting up her face as she looked up at Kevin.

“Sure” she agreed, her new plan of solving her problem starting to take a form in her head. “Wait” she called after him before he could go down the stairs. “I need you to pretend we’re dating” she blurted it out, before she could really think it through. Kevin froze in his place, his jaws dropping.

“What!?” he asked, confounded.

“Please” Vanessa pleaded with him “My family thinks I have a boyfriend and they want to meet him over the holidays, and I just don’t know what to do” she stepped closer, desperate for a solution. Tears gathered in her eyes, her family can’t know how she lied to them.

Kevin collected himself upon seeing her distress and didn’t hesitate to agree. She was his friend, his college, he would do anything for her.

“When are we leaving?” he asked, a smile gracing his lips, as he looked down at Vanessa. Relief spread in her as she matched his smile.

“Tomorrow” she grinned, thankful for his friend to do this for her. Her brand new plan to get a fake boyfriend for the holidays came into motion more quickly than she could hope.

***

The day of their trip to her parents Vanessa anxiously waited for Kevin to show up in front of her house, she started to question her plan and their acting skills in front of her family. Will they be able to convince them?

Her thought process was cut short when Kevin arrived at her place, Vanessa quickly picked up her pack and headed for his car. She wanted to get over with this as soon as possible. Vanessa felt awkward about the whole situation as they drove out of Chicago and by the look of it Kevin wasn’t feeling more comfortable than here either. She started to regret her rushed decision to ask him to be his fake boyfriend for the holiday. They were good friends and now she fears their relationship will be tainted after this little acting.

Vanessa turned up the music in the car to close out the deafening silence the whole trip was spent in. Kevin reached out and turned down the music, and glanced at Vanessa, with a sigh he started to ask “What is our story? How did we start dating?”

Vanessa looked at him, as she quickly gathered her thoughts. “Uhm… I didn’t really tell them anything about ‘my boyfriend’, so we could stick to the truth as much we can? We work together and went out a few times and here we are?” she cluelessly shrugged her shoulder.

“Alright” he nodded, glancing at her every few minutes in the remainder of their trip. Vanessa did the same, she felt awkward, but couldn’t help to look at him every now and then.

As they neared her home, she started to remember all the memories she gained in the countryside. When she was young she was changing foster homes every few months, but this place right here, became her real family, this was the last place she got to and Vanessa spent here the most time. This was the first place where she really felt loved and found a home she could get back to no matter what. Her foster family became her real family and she didn’t want to fail them.

A farmhouse came into sight and Vanessa could feel the warmth inside her, she already felt carefree and a smile spread on her lips. She didn’t notice, but Kevin looked at him right in that moment and couldn’t help himself, but to copy her grin. He loved to see her happy and he decided he will do everything he can to see her like this more often.

Kevin parked the car in front of the house, as a woman barged through the door, Vanessa quickly got out of the car to meet the woman half way.

“Vanessa” called the woman with joy in her voice “I am so happy you two made it!” the woman looked expectantly at Kevin, almost getting out of her skin in her excitement.

“Mom, this is Kevin, my boyfriend” Vanessa introduced him hesitantly, all her lies weighing her down. “Kev, this is my mother, Sarah” Sarah immediately went for a hug, not caring about Kevin’s reached out hand.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you! We started to think Vanessa just made you up!” laughed Sarah, but Vanessa and Kevin couldn’t feel any more embarrassed, they faked a laugh, not too convincing, but Sarah didn’t notice it. “Come on in, it’s cold outside” her mother beckoned them in.

Stepping into the house left Kevin in awe. The house was full of warmth and twinkling Christmas lights. The living room was full of people and all eyes turned to them as they stepped in. Sarah pushed them forward, then announced their arrival.

“Vanessa is finally here with her boyfriend, Kevin!” Murmuring spread through the whole room, everybody was curious of Vanessa’s mysterious boyfriend. Vanessa felt embarrassed from all the eyes looking at them, all her foster siblings and aunts and uncles stared them down. She wasn’t sure how to act, so she just smiled and hooked her hand into Kevin’s pulling him closer. The tension disappeared from the room and everybody started to act more carefree, they turned back to their previous conversations and Vanessa felt like she could breath again.

Kevin must have thought the same, because she heard a relieved sigh leaving his lips. He looked down at Vanessa and they shared a knowing smile, so far their plan was working.

***

At the end of the day a tired Vanessa wandered outside to the porch to get a breath of fresh air. Pretending was tiring, but she couldn’t be more grateful for Kevin to do all of this for her.

The weather was freezing outside, but she enjoyed the cooling effect of it. She needed to clear her head out. She took a deep breath, the cold air sobering her up. The door opened behind her and a voice disturbed her thoughts.

“You left me inside with them, they won’t stop asking me questions” came Kevin’s playful complaint. Vanessa chuckled slightly as she turned to look at him.

“Sorry, I needed some fresh air” Vanessa apologized with a smile. Kevin grinned back as he stepped next to her.

“You know after this, you owe me big time” teased Kevin, bumping his shoulder into hers.

“Oh yeah I was sure, I won’t get away that easily after this” smirked Vanessa, as she looked into his eyes. The time seemed to stop as they gazed into each other’s eyes. They both gravitated towards each other, their lips only a breath away.

Vanessa came to her senses and slightly pulled back, searching his eyes for some kind of reassure. Was it really almost them kissing? Maybe this fake dating could turn into more? Kevin looked just as flustered as her. Maybe it was cold outside or the eggnog they drank earlier, but Vanessa just wanted to act on her feelings. So without a second thought, she closed the distance between them as her lips found his.

Kevin didn’t hesitate much to kiss her back. They got lost in each other, outside on the porch, under the twinkling Christmas lights as the snow soundlessly fell around them, covering the countryside with a white blanket.

#cpd!ss2020 #chicago pd #one chicago #rowater #vanessa rojas #kevin atwater #chicago pd fanfiction #rowater fanfiction #vanessa rojas x kevin atwater #ch: kevin atwater #ch: vanessa rojas #f: one chicago #mv: chicago pd

[chicagopd-secretsanta]

The Gift of Giving 🎁

Secret Santa Participants!

Starting tomorrow, December 23rd, you may start posting your gifts! Feel free to do so anytime from then until Christmas!!

Remember to tag your recipient and use #cpd!ss2020!

We're so excited to see everyone's gifts!!

🎅🎅🎅

#cpd!ss2020 #secret santa #chicago pd #one chicago

[bleedinghearthalstead]

Chicago PD Secret Santa 2020 🎅 ↳ wishing @samantha-chicago a very merry Christmas!

#cpd!ss2020 #jay halstead #jesse lee soffer #chicago pd #bhhedit #to everyone: merry christmas happy holidays happy thursday whatever you celebrate

[onechicago-upsteadrhekker]

One last submission for the Chicago PD Secret Santa for @fictionismyforte

Jay’s had a rough day and Hailey is there, just like always. Title taken from ‘Soldier’ by Fleurie

Hope you enjoy!

keep marching on

The apartment was dark, only the light of a baseball game playing quietly on the tv illuminated the living room where he sat staring off into space.

Today had been hard. Really hard.

It had been one of those days that would stay with him for the rest of his life, reappearing during nightmares, going onto the mental list of innocents dead he kept in his head.

Seeing those two kids with bullets in their heads made him want to go out and kill every gang banger terrorist between Chicago and Afghanistan. It had made his blood boil, confused and furious at how anyone could take another’s life—a child’s life.

But he’d had to compartmentalize the emotions that had hit him full force when he’d walked into that shabby living room, not prepared for the sight that greeted him. No one could prepare for a sight like that, but he’d had a job to do. A case to make.

It was just another scene. Just another call he’d responded to and now it was just another crime to solve.

He couldn’t focus on the memories that flooded his head or the immense grief or the crippling guilt or the profound regret that threatened to overwhelm him at that moment and the moments that had followed since.

He’d had to put his head on straight. He had to solve the double homicide of two tender age victims.

And he was able to lock that part of himself down with an ease that scared him. Was he getting desensitized to the violence he was met with every day? Was he finally getting used to witnessing the deaths of children?

He wasn’t sure but that wasn’t the part that bothered him most.

No, the part that bothered him most was how the world kept spinning like nothing had happened. How life just carried on, no different from any other day.

But Jay knew better. He knew that two mothers were out there right now, numb and wondering how they were going to face another day without the child they had protected and loved and reared since birth.

He knew that there was a woman named Kimona Williams whose world did stop spinning three years ago when her little girl was shot.

When he shot her little girl. A little girl who never recovered and would never smile or dance or play again because of him. The guilt eating him alive at times.

He knew there were parents in Afghanistan who were still grieving the loss of their children, the price of living in a war zone.

He could still picture their faces, hear their screams when he’d delivered the news that he’d found their missing child, dead, thrown behind the trash heap or out in the desert buried under sand.

So yeah. Jay knew better than the millions of blissful people who carried on with their life spending the day doing trivial things such as shopping or playing on their phone, having no idea that another innocent life had been taken so cruelly.

A sharp knock on the door startled him out of his despairing thoughts and he didn’t even have to go to the door to know who it was.

He knew that knock but more importantly, he knew the person knocking.

Hailey had never left him to struggle on his own. In fact, she could almost tell that he was struggling even before he knew it himself.

Was she always so perceptive of everybody? Or was it just him? Jay quietly, bashfully hoped it was just him, not that he would ever ask her.

“Jay,” He heard her muffled voice shout through the door, “if you don’t come to this door right now, I’m gonna use the spare key.”

Rolling his eyes, he pushed himself up off the couch and hoped that he didn’t look too depressed as he reached the door, unlocking it and swinging it open for an anxiously waiting Hailey. She rushed in, her cheeks rosy and a bottle of his favorite whiskey in her gloved hands.

“It’s freezing out there,” She exclaimed as she made her way into his kitchen before he could say a word. He followed her, watching as she stood on her toes to reach the shelf where he kept his drinking glasses.

She didn’t say anything further, busying herself with pouring them whiskey, moving about his kitchen as comfortably as she would in her own.

He took the glass she slid across the counter as she hopped up on the barstool with her own glass, settling in before she gave him an expectant look out of the side of her eye, tilting her head ever so slightly.

He knew what that meant. Just like he always knew what she meant or thought with the way she would give him side glances and charged stares across the bullpen.

She was waiting for him. She was letting him know he could do this in his own time, but she was also making it clear she wasn’t going anywhere until he talked to her.

Following her movements, he settled into the barstool next to her, taking a sip of his drink to fortify himself before sharing his thoughts with her.

“I’ve seen a lot of dead kids, Hailey,” He started softly, looking down at his glass, “Watched a lot of them die.”

She didn’t say anything, letting him take his time as he fiddled with his drink, “I see each and every one of them in my dreams at night. Their young eyes dimmed with death, their bright smiles disappearing forever.”

“Those two boys I found today? That image will never go away, adding to the dozens of other kids I’ve seen killed in the line of fire. And when I think about how it happened. How someone shot two little kids just for some dope,” He trailed off, clenching a fist, “God, Hailey. It makes me want to tear this city apart until people get it. Until every murderer, gang member, drug dealer, junkie, etcetera is off the streets for good.”

Jay shook his head in disgust, “Those two kids should still be alive Hailey but instead they’re laying on cold slabs in the morgue and their families are wondering how they are going to get up in the morning. How they’re going to carry on with life without them,” He paused again, “It has to change. We’re not doing enough.”

The words ring out in the silent kitchen for a few seconds before Hailey softly responded, “We never do, Jay. All we can do is our best and hope that we’re doing some good, making some change, even if we can’t always see it.”

Her slow, steady breaths were comforting, “Today, our best wasn’t good enough and more often, that’s the case but that’s the job. There isn’t much room for happy endings in our line of work, and you know that better than anyone.”

“Our best didn’t save those kids but our best sure as hell can find the person responsible and we’re going to make sure they pay for their crimes,” She said it with absolute certainty as if that would make everything alright, the balance of justice being restored but he knew that still wouldn’t change the fact two kids were dead.

And Hailey knew that, but she also knew that if they dwelled on those cold, harsh facts then they would never be able to do their job. To move on with life.

Everyone had to deal with it in their own way. Make some sense of it in their head and then lock it away, only to revisit it alone in a manner that wouldn’t make their heads swim and their minds drown.

His and Hailey’s way was to talk about it over a drink. Or maybe two.

Sometimes it required the other to stay the night, to be on the lookout, to remind the other which way was up and then help them deal with it in a way that wouldn’t eat them alive constantly thinking about it.

Seeing Hailey tonight didn’t change the fact that two boys were dead or any of the other kid’s deaths he’s seen but she had helped. She had this way of telling him how it was, matter of fact but always being so right because she got it. She understood because she’s been through it too.

Yeah, maybe she was never stationed in Afghanistan like he was but that didn’t change the fact that she was fighting a war.

There was a war going on right here in Chicago.

One they were both a part of, right in the thick of but there was one difference between the war here and the war he’d fought in Afghanistan.

Here he had Hailey, and that, he knew, made all the difference.

It didn’t change all of the horrible things he’d seen or done but he knew now that he would get through it with her by his side.

Thanks for reading!

#cpd!ss2020 #chicago pd #secret santa #onechicago #jay halstead #hailey upton #army #war

[chicagopd-secretsanta]

Secret Santa: Submissions

Hello again, everyone!

It’s November 1st which means submissions are now OPEN! The link to the Google form is at the bottom of this post!

We ask that you take a look at the ‘Info & Guidelines’ post before you fill out the form, and start creating your project, so you are familiar with everything you need to know!

REMEMBER: Submissions will NOT be accepted through personal PM’s or ask boxes! To be valid, they must be submitted by Google form only, no later than 10pm EST November 15th.

You will be contacted by either @thetwit or @onechicago-upsteadrhekker about a week after the form closes through your PM’s to receive your recipient and their gift prompt!

If you have accidentally submitted a response in error or think you’ve made a mistake in submitting, please contact @thetwit or @onechicago-upsteadrhekker ​ before trying to submit another response. 

As always, if you have any questions please message either @thetwit or @onechicago-upsteadrhekker or send us an ask through this blog!

We thank you for your participation and we’re so excited to get the Chicago PD Secret Santa underway!

CLICK HERE TO SUBMIT YOUR SECRET SANTA FORM!

#cpd!ss2020 #chicago pd #secret santa #one chicago