#cricket.chatterbox

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thinking a lot about the phenomenon of celebrities going through their "baby gay" phase in the spotlight. idk i know it's funny to joke about jojo siwa and "gay pop" etc etc and there's so much valid criticism there. but i also think there's something to be said about how pop culture forces queer people out of the closet which means that if celebrities try to work through their baby gay phase on their own they're considered "traitors" or "liars" or "queerbaiting" etc etc for trying to keep their sexuality private, but if they decide to come out as soon as they know "what they are" they become cringe in the eye of the public bc they're still figuring out what it means to be queer. idk. like even with chappell roan, i know she's a pop culture darling rn and i adore her. but sometimes she says stuff in interviews that feels so baby gay and i have to remind myself that she's just. a young person who is in the spotlight and figuring herself out still. and even with the jojo siwa thing like. again obv she sounds so ignorant when she talks about wanting to "invent gay pop" but it's also like. god. figuring my gender/sexuality business out was stressful enough when i was sitting alone in my bathroom at age 13. i cannot imagine growing up in the spotlight with hundreds of cameras and millions of eyes on me. and then having to be my "cringe" newly out queer self to the masses. idk lots to chew on. i've just been thinking about this a lot recently.

#there's also something to be said for the reception of other young celebrities' queerness #like lil nas x and kit connor etc #but i've specifically been thinking about the contrast of jojo siwa and chappell roan bc like #ok obviously chappell roan is making good art and jojo siwa's is just kinda... pop flop #but i think it's so interesting how like. when i watch both of them in interviews they're both #so clearly baby gay. and i think it's fascinating how jojo siwa's exploration of her queerness #is often coupled with her bad art like they're inherently interlinked #idk. idk man. idk #cricket.chatterbox

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cant talk rn obsessed over the design concept of this 2017 production of pinocchio as a stage play where pinocchio is the only character played by a human actor and the rest of the cast are portrayed as puppets ,,,

#cricket.chatterbox #hold on. i need aminute . hold on . wait a asecond #theatre

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lisa frankenstein was so fun because it follows the slasher movie formula really closely, actually. it's just that instead of the main character being the final girl, you're seeing everything from the perspective of the slasher villain. and the slasher villain thinks she's in a romcom.

#cricket.chatterbox #ITS SO . #lisa frankenstein

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antiques roadshow guests will really say the most chilling sentences on live television and not realize they're creating 3 sentence horror stories.

#images described in alt text #i tried to describe the painting by noting things that the appraiser mentioned #cricket.chatterbox #antiques roadshow #greatest hits

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lost phineas and ferb episode where perry is called to investigate what dr doofenshmirtz is up to because carl the intern got ahold of some intel that doof has been seen speaking to lawyers and looking up the endangered species act at internet cafes and as major monogram says, "something fishy is going on"

meanwhile phineas and ferb's subplot of "i know what we're gonna do today!" is that isabella needs her environmentalist fireside girls badge so they start researching which species are in urgent need of help in the tri-state area so that they can use new cloning and gene therapy technologies to bring at-risk animals back from extinction

(yes there is a c-plot where buford and baljeet argue the ethics of this idea, i don't have time to explain it all for you rn)

we cut back to🎵doofenshmirtz evil incorporated🎵where we see perry carefully maneuvering around doofenshmirtz's lab scared he might fall into a trap but he hasn't set off a single booby trap and it's clear something is off

he runs into doofenshmirtz and goes to kick him in the gut action movie style but doof steps back one overly confident and says, "nuh uh uh, you see perry the platypus, you are TRAPPED! by the danville section of the endangered species act of 1973!"

doof goes on to explain his tragic backstory: "you see, perry the platypus, when i was a child my parents did not show up for my own birth! but you know that already, yadda yadda yadda they did not love me and then they loved roger more, ANYways i was raised by ocelots! i had a lovely foster mother who took me in and made me one of the pride, and so you see, perry the platypus, i am still legally considered an ocelot. did you know that there are only 50 recorded ocelots still alive in the continental united states? very sad for me as a member of a near-extinct species. it would be immoral for you to hurt someone critically endangered... in fact, you have made many attempts on my life this summer"

[montage of doof's security camera footage of their battles]

"which is why i have decided to bring you... TO COURT!" we cut back to phineas and ferb's back yard where they've decided to start cloning ocelots in their kiddie pool

candace storms outside enraged and says, "phineas and ferb are you cloning ocelots in my duckie momo kiddie pool!?"

ferb's one line of the episode is "well, i guess it's more of a kitty pool, now"

candace storms away saying, "i'm going to tell mom!" and isabella turns to phineas and says, "oh, does your mom have experience in wildlife conservation?"

we cut back to the doof and perry plotline where the two are now in the danville hall of justice and we learn that doof has spent his monthly alimony check on a defense lawyer and perry turns and sees the lawyer and then vanessa helping her organize her briefcase and perry chitters at her and vanessa shrugs and says, "i'm thinking about going into legal defense. sorry perry."

the rest of the doof and perry b-plot is spent in court and perry is about to ask for a public defense lawyer when carl runs into the room and explains that he's owca's official legal defense and perry looks at him like, "uhhh is that even allowed?"

it doesn't matter because apparently the judge is out sick today but because it's danville roger's the judge now because he's the mayor and everyone loves him.

the court case continues.

meanwhile phineas and ferb have successfully cloned multiple ocelots from the original ocelot dna they had on hand and isabella asks phineas if these clones will experience health problems like premature aging, phineas casually explains that ferb figured out the problem while they were experimenting with stem cell harvesting.

back in the courtroom, doof's ocelot foster mother has been brought to the stand along with an ocelot to english translator. doof gets emotional seeing her after so long. she says that he was one of her favorite child and he was as strong a hunter as anyone else in the family. it's incredibly sweet. the jury's in tears.

meanwhile, isabella has established connections with a group in texas who are going to release the ocelots back into their natural habitat and, using the cloned ocelots to prevent inbreeding, help establish an ocelot breeding program. the group explains that they are going to send a helicopter to retrieve the cloned ocelots from danville and bring them to texas soon.

isabella gets her fireside girls badge.

candace manages to get mom to see the backyard only after the ocelots have been helicoptered off to coastal texas, their primary habitat.

mom makes it into the backyard as phineas stares wistfully over the fence and says, "if you love something, you have to let it go." candace goes, "look mom look look look!" and points at the ducky momo kiddie pool, devoid of cloned ocelots, where baljeet and buford are now chilling out, having settled their philosophical debate about the ethics of animal cloning.

back in the courtroom drama, doof looks like he's about to win when an attendant walks into the courtroom and whispers something in roger's ear.

roger looks up, grinning, and says, "good news, everyone! my attendant here has just enlightened me that ocelots are no longer considered critically endangered!"

this settles the case, with perry being decreed not guilty and the entire affair being called off. the courtroom cheers, roger walks over to doof and personally congratulates him on his species' return from the brink of extinction.

doof shouts, "curse you endangered species classification system!" at the ceiling of the danville hall of justice.

perry arrives back home just in time for mom to say, "who wants pie?"

the end.

#cricket.chatterbox #phineas and ferb #pnf #dr doofenshmirtz #perry the platypus #phineas flynn #ferb fletcher #greatest hits

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#cricket.chatterbox

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the only ""mature" scooby doo cartoon i would allow warner brothers to make would be an r rated version of the 13 ghosts of scooby doo. nothing changes the animation quality is still shit. but scrappy's allowed to say fuck.

#cricket.chatterbox #scooby doo

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this really doesn't make any sense. but at the same time. when we found out that fiona created levi and thats why they share a voice. well. this was all i could think about. whoops.

#scavengers reign #scavenger's reign #sr fiona #sr kamen #sr azi #sr levi #scavengers reign fiona #scavengers reign kamen #scavengers reign azi #scavengers reign levi #cricket.chatterbox #undescribed

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today i was talking with some friends and i said "wendy's wrecks you like a delicate lover and mcdonald's wrecks you like a one night stand" and they lost it and started workshopping it and joked about me posting it online. all i could think about was how i feel like that's just not a viable statement in today's tumblr post economy. i feel like that might've been, like, a ~200 note post in 2016 or so but i think we're past that now. the shitpost economy has shifted. sure, the pinterest screenshot community would probably enjoy it, but their understanding of tumblr culture is inherently rooted in the past, akin to how the québécois dialect is closer to 1600s french than it is to modern french. its a relic of another time.

#cricket.chatterbox

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i walk into the across the spider verse spider society lobby right as everyone starts trying to kill some teen. i walk past whatever weird chase scene shit is going on. i walk directly into the free gender clinic and talk to the spider physician about starting hrt.

#atsv #cricket.chatterbox #MIGUEL'S FUCKED UP LITTLE CLUB OFFERS FREE THERAPY IT BETTER HAVE FREE HORMONE THERAPY TOO #they're all transgender so it'd make sense. in my humble opinion. #if you were to look at miguel's chart of ''canon events'' in every spiderperson's life there's one that takes place somewhere in between #starting middle school and watching uncle ben die. and it's called the gender crisis. #spider man: across the spider verse #across the spider verse

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I BIT THE BULLET AND FINALLY GOT STEEL TOED BOOTS AND THEY'RE SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#cricket.chatterbox

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just felt a profound sense of sadness settle over my entire being upon realizing that there will be a year 8008, and that i will likely never live to see it. a year 80085, even further off. and a year 8008135, even. the world is beautiful and cruel.

#i will never live in the year of the boob.... #when i am reincarnated multiple lifetimes from now i hope i am born into a place #that follows similar time-keeping conventions with similar numerology #as the world i currently live in #so that i may at least in another life experience the year of the boob. or the boobs. or the boobies. #cricket.chatterbox

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i just bawled my eyes out over this fucking book. girl wtf was that. GIRL.

#cricket.chatterbox #you cannot imagine. the pure WHIPLASH it was to read this book entirely in one sitting. omfg. #the darkness outside us #books #eliot schrefer #undescribed

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[ID: A picture of a page in a book. Its contents show a poem titled "Doggerel for My Cat" accompanied by a small illustration of a black-and-white tuxedo cat standing below the poem's text. The cat stands facing the reader with a pleasant smile, his tail curled slightly. The text of the poem reads: "His paws are white, his ears are black. / When he isn't around I feel the lack. / His purr is loud, his fur is soft. / He always carries his tail aloft. / His gait is easy, his gaze intense. / He wears a tuxedo to all events. / His toes are prickly, his nose is pink. / I like to watch him sit and think. / His breed is Alley, his name is Pard. / Life without him would be hard." /End ID]

"Doggerel for My Cat" by Ursula K. Le Guin from page 154 of her collection No Time To Spare: Thinking About What Matters

#ursula k le guin #poetry #poems #cats #doggerel for my cat #cricket.chatterbox

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if your go-to thing isn't up here im sorry thats just how road trip stops are sometimes. it sucks but you make do.

make sure to take your bathroom break now before we're back on the road for another 6 hours <3

#buckle up!! #cricket.chatterbox #road trips

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two polycules, both alike in dignity, on this college campus where we lay our scene, from ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean

#cricket.chatterbox #stuff is happening i think #the dyke drama tag