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#difference between theory and practice
sunnibits · 18 days
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just realized that because I’ve left my jackass DM’s campaign (therefore giving me full control over Dimitri’s story and lore) I could totally draw Dimitri killing my least favorite NPC with hammers and NOBODY can fucking tell me that it isn’t canon
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brechtian · 2 years
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so so funny I went to read the handbook on narcissism and npd in an effort to learn more about the disorder & it’s complexities from specialists and what I learned instead is that NOBODY CAN AGREE on what it means AT ALL or anything else about it!!!!!
#rant in tags but an interesting one if u like psychology#don’t get me wrong the handbook IS from 2011 so it’s been over a decade but also it’s still considered like the primary text on npd and I#get the feeling the same debates are probably still going on#like I wish u all could understand. basically the only thing anyone seems to agree on is that the dsm IV (and considering the criteria for#diagnosis changed almost not at all between IV and V I imagine this still holds true)#is a BAD tool for diagnosing it. like the categorical model of diagnosis just doesn’t work well for personality disorders#plus the actual criteria listed for npd and many other pds in the dsm just straight up are not well grounded in actual scientific research#abt the disorders#and that’s what they agree on. as for the rest#NOBODY agrees on what inventories or models are effective & accurate NOBODY agrees on what the actual symptoms are beyond self#aggrandizement there’s a huge debate over whether there are subtypes of npd and if so what are they#and of those who DO believe in subtypes the most popular theory is grandiose vs vulnerable but THEN there’s a whole debate about THEM#bc some psychologists consider them two separate manifestations while others say that ppl with npd vacillate between the two states#and nobody can conclusively link self esteem with npd in any meaningful way other than that diagnosed ppl usually have higher surface level#self esteem but the whole concept of whether the narcisstic persona is a defense mechanism or just a delusion nobody can agree on or prove#and if ur wondering where the line is drawn between trait narcissism and npd ? buddy I’ve got bad news for you NOBODY KNOWS#like trait narcissism and npd are categorically two different things but the practical reality of someone with high trait narcissism vs npd#is just like. shrugs#and also high trait narcissism usually means scored high on the npi but hey guess what the npi has been HUGELY criticized and nobody can al#agree on how accurate it is!!#I could go on forever but u get the idea like. if you asked three different specialists in npd how they would define the disorder you would#VERY LIKELY get three completely different answers#and now. if ur sitting there wondering#hey wait a minute#but if the DSM V the official guideline for psychiatric evaluation infamously are not a good framework to diagnose pds or npd#AND if all other sources and experts have conflicting opinions#then WHAT is this disorder and HOW is it consistently diagnosed#AND IM WONDERING THE SAME DAMN THING!!!
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godhasforsnakenme · 1 month
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BOOK REVIEW 📖
This is the one for February – I was reminded of this book half way through the month and decided to reread it again because I couldn't remember how it ended; plus a short mystery is always nice to read (side note: this ended up as an ebook read bc I couldn't remember where in my storage boxes I have my copy – it's in storage because it's a paperback edition and old and I don't want it to die on me yet lol)
#ben picks up reading again#dania rambles about shit#hewehewhehehewhehw I've forgotten to upload these for the last two months LMAO#not to worry I am at least still reading :D#alrighty this is for the most part spoiler free (execpt where indicated)#it is a very entertaining mystery that feels like a game of cluedo and you really enjoy how everything comes together at different points#so much that it has you going back to see how the hell you missed a detail and going AHA#but yeah counts as a reread but it was so long ago and I'd forgotten practically everything about it that its like a new read#which is a bonus bc I like figuring out mysteries in books and going along with stuff to see if I'm right at the end#not to much analysis in this review like the last book as I feel it didn't need it#each character is pretty likeable with some unlikable moments sprinkled in#also I really love how the POV switches and flows easily between each of them which is what makes this book so easy to follow along with#insight on when i first read it#i was in fifth grade and we had a reading club sort of thing that our teacher picked us for#like a greatbooks fishbowl sort of thing instead of just our regular reading/comm arts time in class#i think it was the last one's we read for that year because I don't remember any after it#anyway we had to staple the last couple of chapters together so we wouldn't be able to know the ending nor the stuff leading up to it#that way we could play along and try to solve it ourselves#we had a betting pool sort of thing going with candy to see who could guess correctly#just a box full of sticky notes with whatever theories we wanted to include with the bet#and a whole wall with those large paper pad sheets that teacher's would have for their easels in order for us to connect the dots on things#yeah we went into it#kind of wondering if we ever got to the end or if something came up that we couldn't finish the book like i sort of remember#our tutor missing a couple of weeks and then state testing and then it was just the end of the year and we were turning in the books to her#anyway just more admin lore
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average-transdalorian · 2 months
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Hate it when classes are named misleadingly. Sir your Introduction to Ethics would more aptly be named Introduction to Moral Theory. None of these people wrote about medical malpractice. Or being an engineer working for Lockheed-Martin
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beguines · 3 months
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As a significant "feminised" category of mental illness, however, HPD [histrionic personality disorder] was superseded in the DSM-III by the introduction of the controversial BPD, a label which has been increasingly applied to women, with around 75 per cent of all cases estimated to be female. Seen as a milder form of schizophrenia and lying on the "borderline" between neuroses and psychoses, the concept has been used in psychiatry since 1938. Like other personality disorders, BPD has a notoriously low reliability level even by the generally poor standards of the DSM, and even within the profession is considered by many as yet another "wastebasket" category (though as Bourne ruefully remarks, the ambiguity of such personality disorders makes them particularly useful in policing deviance in the new century). One member of the DSM-III task force stated at the time of constructing BPD that "in my opinion, the borderline syndrome stands for everything that is wrong with psychiatry [and] the category should be eliminated". The chair of the task force, Robert Spitzer, admitted with the publication of DSM-III that BPD was only included in the manual due to pressures from psychoanalytically oriented clinicians who found it useful in their practices. Such practices have been documented by Luhrmann who describes psychiatrists' typical view of the BPD patient as "an angry, difficult woman—almost always a woman—given to intense, unstable relationships and a tendency to make suicide attempts as a call for help.' Bearing significant similarities to the feelings of nineteenth century psychiatrists towards hysterics, Luhrmann's study reveals psychiatrists' revulsion of those they label with a personality disorder: they are "patients you don't like, don't trust, don't want . . . One of the reasons you dislike them is an expungable sense that they are morally at fault because they choose to be different." Becker reinforces this general view of the BPD label when she states that "[t]here is no other diagnosis currently in use that has the intense pejorative connotations that have been attached to the borderline personality disorder diagnosis." A bitter irony for those labelled with BPD is that many are known to have experienced sexual abuse in childhood, something they share in common with many of those Freud labelled as hysterical a century earlier; a psychiatric pattern of depoliticising sexual abuse by ignoring the (usually) male perpetrator, and instead pathologising the survival mechanisms of the victim as abnormal.
By the mid-1980s, the hysteria diagnosis had disappeared from the clinical setting while BPD had become the most commonly diagnosed personality disorder. BPD is now the most important label which psychiatric hegemony invokes to serve capital and patriarchy through monitoring and controlling the modern woman, reinforcing expected gender roles within the more fluid, neoliberal environment. Nevertheless, as Jimenez (emphasis added) reminds us, the historical continuity from hysteria to BPD is clear: "Both diagnoses delimit appropriate behavior for women, and many of the criteria are stereotypically feminine. What distinguishes borderline personality disorder from hysteria is the inclusion of anger and other aggressive characteristics, such as shoplifting, reckless driving, and substance abuse. If the hysteric was a damaged woman, the borderline woman is a dangerous one."
Bruce M.Z. Cohen, Psychiatric Hegemony: A Marxist Theory of Mental Illness
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headspace-hotel · 5 months
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okay. so.
i'm reading this book The Origins of the Modern World by Robert Marks
and even from the beginning i was getting this weird feeling from it. I'm always really wary of books that are broad overviews of history that claim to explore big theory-of-everything explanations for very broad phenomena, because history is unbelievably complex and there is so much disagreement between historians about everything.
But anyway I come to this section (in the first chapter)
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This writer's opinion is that the Americas seemed so abundant when English settlers first arrived because the Native Americans had been mostly killed, and as a result, the wildlife increased greatly in numbers and forests overtook the farms, creating what appeared to be a natural paradise.
I'm immediately suspicious of this paragraph because arguing that the mass death of Native Americans was good for nature seems really contradictory to the research I've explored, on top of being just...disgusting.
But it doesn't sound right in regards to how ecosystems work either. If populations of animals had recently exploded after millennia of being limited by a major predator, it would cause the plants to be overwhelmed by the herbivore populations. The land would be stripped barren and eroded, and soon the animals would be weak and starving.
So I thought to myself, huh, a citation. I will look at the citation and see what it says.
It's a book called Changes in the Land by William Cronon, who seems to be one of the most important and respected guys in his field. I thought, I have to find this book. So I did, I found the book, and spent like an hour reading through it.
And what I discovered, is that Cronon's book directly contradicts what Marks says in the paragraph that cites Cronon?!
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So basically this entire book, Changes in the Land, is a detailed exploration of how the arrival of English settlers, the decline of Native American populations, and the slow transition to European farming and land use practices caused increasing degradation to the ecosystem, beginning very early on in colonization.
Changes in the Land quotes a great array of documents from the colonial period where settlers observed the soil becoming depleted, animals disappearing, and the climate itself becoming more hostile even in the 1600's. It's actually a really fascinating book.
Cronon tells us that Native Americans created lush and abundant conditions for wild animals by causing a "mosaic" of habitats, with different areas representing various stages of ecological succession. With this great diversity in habitats, and lots of transitional "edges" between them, the prosperity of the animal life was maximized. This was intentional, and really a type of farming.
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The book essentially explains how European settlers couldn't recognize Native American life ways as "agriculture," they thought the land was just supernaturally abundant all by itself because of its inherent nature, and yet almost immediately after settlers came, the abundance of the land degraded and vanished. The settlers cut down vast amounts of trees, which caused erosion, which destroyed the river and stream ecosystems and starved the soil of nutrients. Destruction of forest caused less rain, and more extreme temperatures. It became a vicious cycle where the settlers had to abuse the land more and more just to survive.
The spiral pulled in Native American communities too, forcing them to turn to more exploitative means of survival like the fur trade, (which depleted the beaver population, which caused the decline of beaver ponds, which harmed the whole forest). It describes how the changing ecosystems left Native Americans with no choice but to turn to European practices for survival, which in turn depleted the land even further.
Even I was surprised to learn just how early on environmental disaster set in, and the incredible extent of it. English farming practices literally reshaped the map of New Haven between the 17th and 18th centuries:
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To return to Marks, though...Marks' statement in the excerpt, where he says the "abundance" of animals continued throughout the 19th century, is blatantly false according to the source HE CITES.
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Deer were becoming scarce in New England by the 1690's. It was so bad by 1718 that deer hunting was forbidden for 3 years at that time, and by 1800, deer were almost extirpated from New England. The book explains on another page that wild turkeys became so rare that a farmer's manual from the time said their domesticated turkeys were from Turkey—settlers had no opportunity to see a wild turkey and no idea they existed.
Marks is supporting his statement using a source entirely dedicated to contradicting the exact thing he's saying! It's unbelievable.
How does this happen? Did Marks just have his own opinion and insert a famous book that seemed to be on the subject as support, without reading it?
I'm thinking now of all the times I've read a book and seen a citation on a statement and unconsciously thought "oh, well it seems there is evidence, so it must be reliable" when actually, something like this was happening. The array of ways misinformation can be propagated and never be found out is terrifying.
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yosh-iro · 1 year
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just realizing my hearing can be summed up as having a fucking nasa computer for hardware but only ever using it to play that vid of a spinning rat with a compressed version of free bird in the background
#making that comparison cuz i literally just bought a $2k desktop after my laptop shit itself and im now watching that exact video#anyways the context for this is that while my hearing capability is much better than average for my age#i have an auditory processing disorder that makes it so my actual ability to hear is dogshit majority of the time#like i can hear really high pitched things (up to 20khz still even on low volume)#but for example speech is something thats hard for me to understand sometimes because it somehow gets garbled in my brain#which i think is why i dont have a hard time with accents since im so used to needing to unscramble whatever the hell i just heard anyways#or like how i cant tell music intervals apart despite taking/being in music for like 80% of my life#i was so happy when my band teacher let me see his hands when i did the interval part of my theory final last spring#cuz i know the difference when looking at it but hearing it i cant tell the difference between a minor 3rd and a major 6th or anything#and its not a lack of practice seeing as id been doing that shit specifically for almost 8 years at that point and hadnt gotten any better#i think he realized there was no way i would pass that part normally cuz he had been helping me with interval training for a while#i could play whichever one when asked to but couldnt tell them apart audibly when i tried to#pretty sure the highest i ever got on an interval test outside of my theory final was like 60% cuz i had to basically guess all of them#even with just single notes i find it hard to tell them apart unless its a G or C#G cuz i was a emo shit in jr high and C cuz that note haunts me in my fucking sleep since i stopped piano lessons like 8ish years ago#anyways yeah welcome to tumblr where i feel its not too abnormal to have somebodys life story in the tags section as context for a joke lol#or maybe im in the minority and most people dont actually do this but i just happen to see a lot of posts that do :p#and now this is very off topic lmfao#yoshi talk
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tinyluvs · 9 months
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ok so after reading about Spencer’s first blowjob…what do you think about the first time he ever eats out? 👀 man’s all “oh I read about this hold on” like it’s fkin quantum theory and he’s intent on trying all these different “techniques” he’s read about but then he tastes reader for the first time and just goes absolutely feral like a man starved 🫣
i see the vision, i gotchu, enjoy my angel!!! this carries on from !! this prompt !! but you don’t have to read it *mdni!!*
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time moves slower as you rest your head on spencer's hip, humming deeply when his fingers press against your scalp, "you okay, angel?" he asks once his post orgasm haze passes, the fog around his brain finally clearing after god only knows how long
"i'm great baby," you reply, lifting your head up to look at him, smiling softly when he traces a knuckle over your cheek bone. he looks at you, thinking, you can practically see cogs turning behind his eyes, "out with it,"
a breath catches in your boyfriend throat, "can i return the favour?" he asks, voice barely a whisper, "please," fingers ghost over your neck, pressing only over your pulse
“spence,” you breathe a little harder, knowing he can feel your heartbeat racing under his fingers, “please, don’t think you have to,”
the insides of your thighs are already damp and sticky, coated with your arousal from your previous activities. you clench slightly, not so subtly rubbing your thighs together
spencer sits up, his head shaking slightly as he does, “no i want to, please honey,” he presses, leaning over your body to kiss the corner of your mouth, “please”
“okay,” you answer simply, words failing you as he uses his body to push against yours, pressing you down into the couch cushions
air gets trapped in between your cheeks, puffed out while you watch your boyfriend hike your shirt up, only enough to expose your stomach and hips before he dips, dragging his lips over your ribs all too slowly
“can i?” he mumbles as he gets to your hips and your head tilts, confusion taking over as you’d been to occupied watching him instead of feeling his fingers teasing at the waistband of your shorts
spencer looks up at you in time to watch you nod, eyes wide and mouth slack, the previously trapped air escaping in a gentle whimper. he lifts your hips slightly, dragging your shorts and panties down your legs, letting them drop onto the floor, out of sight
“hey, are you sure?” you ask again, knuckle hooking under his chin to turn his attention to you. he turns in your hold, kissing your palm before sliding further down between your legs
big hands slide up the back of your thighs, blunt nails barely digging into your skin as he pushes your legs apart, spreading you open inches away from his face
spencer's tongue darts across his bottom lip, his gaze focused on where you're already wet, "i, uhm," he whispers, "read about how to do this,"
you can tell he's nervous, a slight frown forming over his forehead though it doesn't stick around when you smooth over it gently with your thumb, "you read about it? angel, it's okay if you don't get it right straight away" you assure him as he looks up at you briefly
the anticipation is killing you, though you'd never tell him. having him between your thighs, eyes dark while he takes the situation and you in, has you dripping, a soft whine passing your lips as you feel it happen
your boyfriend snaps out of his state of staring at the noise, he sighs gently, happily, before surging forwards. immediately your back arches off of the couch as his lips press against your folds
"fuck, spence," you gasp, fingers tangling into his hair to hold him there. he parts his lips before dragging his tongue up your centre, circling cruelly around your clit, "oh my god," you moan, loudly
this spurs spencer on further, his body pushes up further between your legs, his broad shoulders holding your thighs apart while he eats you out like a starved man, his eyes shut, lashes tickling his cheeks
distantly you wonder if he has done this before but your ability to think leaves you and makes you helpless and completely at spencer's mercy. he pulls away from you, barely, a string of spit connecting him to your cunt.
while he uses his shoulders to keep your thighs spread, his hands become free and you feel them before you see them. his thumb dips over your sticky hole before sliding upwards, bumping against your clit
"please baby, don't tease," you whine, chest heaving and fingers tightening in his hair, pulling him back towards where you need him and he obliges, leaning in to kiss your clit before sucking on it lightly
every moan, whine and whimper that leaves your body has spencer working harder, spit dribbling from the corners of his mouth and over the inside of your thighs as he starts to hum and moan against you
spencer sucks hard on your clit, obscene noises fill the room as he leans into you, one hand on your hip holding you down and the other stroking your thigh, moving far too slowly towards your cunt
you hold your breath, feeling his fingers tease at you, your attempts to clench around the tips of his fingers don't go unnoticed. he gives you what you want slowly, barely pressing a finger into you before pulling away again
"oh god," you whimper, hips rolling underneath his forearm. spencer hums against you, sending vibrations rumbling over your clit , "this is your first time?" you question as your thighs start to shake
"yeah," spencer replies, taking a break to breathe, his eyes focused on his own fingers. without warning he presses a finger into you, his gaze traveling up your body as you cry out and clench around him
"fuck, i'm not going to last," you pant whilst throwing your head back. your nails dig into his shoulder, guiding him back towards your body as heat starts to form in the pits of your stomach
slowly spencer fucks his finger into you, pulling out and pushing back in before adding another, again, without warning. the stretch burns in the best way possible as he works you open
"i love you," spencer mumbles, not giving you a chance to reply as he delves back into you, his tongue lapping over your clit with earnest. your orgasm builds embarrassingly fast, thighs shaking, back arching away from the couch while your brain turns to mush
"oh, fuck, i'm gonna-," you cry out, letting your thighs close around spencer's body, "i'm gonna come baby," you whimper loudly, stomach clenching underneath spencer's arm
he doubles down, fingers speeding up slightly, his knuckles bumping either side of your hole as wet, sticky sounds fill the room, "uh huh," he hums against you and that sends you hurtling over the edge
you come hard, harder than you ever have before, loudly whimpering as your body shakes and your thighs close around spencer's head, trapping him there while you pant, eyes clamped shut
"baby, stop," you almost cry, pulling on spencer's hair to move him away from your body as you start to get overstimulated, "jesus,"
spencer looks incredible, his hair tousled and messy, lips and chin completely soaked with your slick and his cheeks puffed out as he catches his own breath. gently, he slips his fingers from your body, smiling softly to himself as you wrap your own around his wrist
"c'mere," you hum, eyes shutting again as you yank on him, his body toppling down onto of you, his head resting on your chest, "seriously though, that was your first time?"
"yeah," spencer chuckles, his fingers trailing up your rib cage, “definitely won't be the last though,"
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thanks for reading! remember to like! reblog! and comment! i’ll give you a smooch if you do, ily !! send prompts to my ask box!
❥ spencer reid masterlist !!
a/n tell me if you see any mistakes, i proofread but really fuckin badly !! much appreciated and hope ur having a great day, mwah
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yesimwriting · 4 months
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thinking about bestfriend!felix who's known for being touchy within his social circle, so when he holds your hand as you walk around campus and leaves giggly kisses against your cheek, your jaw, your neck after a few drinks, you think nothing of it.
especially because it comes up in conversation from time to time. everyone that hangs out with him regularly enough has at least one story: felix smoothed circles against my back until i fell asleep on the bathroom floor after a party; he's kissed the top of my head twice; i've never seen him end a hug first.
and you've seen things--at parties, while studying, while out with friends in general. so you genuinely have no reason to think there's anything strange or different about the way he treats you, and neither does anyone else.
at first.
one night, when you're still new enough to felix and his world that you feel extremely out of place at a party that he invited you to, he calls you over to where he and his friends are sitting. you walk over to them, greeting everyone politely before moving to take the available space next to felix.
he grabs your wrist before you can actually sit. you're confused, but given little time to react. felix mumbles an absentminded, "c'mere" before pulling you towards his lap. it's a little flustering, but you sit, because that's just how felix is.
okay. normal enough. conversation continues. no one thinks twice about it. farleigh thinks it's a bit of overkill, but just assumes it's a combination of alcohol and maybe an attempt at laying the groundwork to hook up with you a little later in the night.
then, someone asks about potential vacation plans over break and farleigh brings up an inside joke from the last trip he and felix went on. it's casual, but it's clear that felix is supposed to say something.
farleigh looks over in time to see felix holding one of your hands to his lips. alright. still not the most egregious display of platonic affec--felix takes his time pressing kisses to each of your knuckles.
it's not just the gesture. it's the way felix watches your reaction through his lashes and the amount of care in his focus. as if you're the only one in the room. there's a patience there that's practically devoted.
maybe farleigh had it wrong. he thought you were just one of those platonic friends that felix would cart around for a few months before getting bored. maybe it's more romantic, or at the very least sexual.
then felix's eyebrows draw together. "you're cold." you start to say that you're fine, but before you can get the words out, felix is holding both of your hands between his.
in the beat that it takes farleigh to recover from the slightly nauseating display, the rest of the group has gone quiet. they're all watching felix dote on you like you're the reason for the moon hanging in the sky. annabel whispers something about the "unsuspecting".
farleigh eventually tries again, directly stating felix's name. he finally looks up, a little confused, as if coming out of a trance. farleigh repeats his earlier comment, finally getting a reaction from felix. the group recovers because while the moment had been almost uncomfortably intimate for something so casual, this is far from the first time felix has started (casually) seeing an 'outsider'.
some time passes and you finish your first drink. when felix notices, he asks if you want another. you tell him that you don't mind getting your own, but felix is insistent. you stand so that he can get up.
a part of you wishes you could have found an excuse to go with him. the gesture, in theory, is nice, but without felix's protection, being left with his friends feels like he's thrown you to the wolves.
annabel, a little tipsy and now curious asks, "so, how long have you and felix..." she trails off with a knowing look.
you kind of get what she's implying, but it feels like too random and too unfitting of an assumption to be accurate. "oh, we've been friends since around right after syllabus week, felix ask--"
"no," she shakes her head, "i mean--" she tries again, this time asking with precise language.
your face grows a few degrees warmer. "oh." the slight laugh that follows the syllable is too genuine for it to be you playing coy. "no, it's not--we're friends."
friends. you genuinely believe it. annabel fixes you with a tight lipped smile that makes something in your stomach knot.
you decide that her question must have been prompted by you sitting on felix's lap. you've also heard enough stories about them to assume that they have an on again off again, sort of thing, and because you really don't want to make an enemy of her, you try to justify it, "that was just--you've known him way longer, he's just like that."
oh my god. he's fooled you. completely convinced you that that's normal. before annabel can really react, felix comes back. he hands you your drink and kisses your cheek before sitting down next to you. he doesn't ask you to go back to where you were sitting before, but he does keep a hand on your knee.
----
some bestfriend!reader concepts ft oliver
another bestfriend! felix blurb :)
bestfriend! felix and reader basically dating
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astarion-obsessions · 8 months
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Hold on, there is something I thought about. When Astarion approached Tav with "all his favourite lines" of flattery, leading to fake confessing his love to them, I was genuinely hurt to see that he would play with Tav's feelings like that, just for the sake of entertainment.
But now that their relationship progressed and Astarion actually confessed that he developed feelings for Tav, but still claims to not know how he would define their relationship, I get the feeling that he made the choice to fake confess beforehand for another reason than entertainment or seduction altogether. Hear me out.
Why does Astarion fake confess his love to Tav?
When I get a scene with Astarion, I always reload a thousand times to try out all the routes and see all his reactions, so what I'm about to break down will be no less than heartbreaking.
First let's take a look at what Astarion has to say. He starts the conversation with a clear goal in mind: he wants to seduce us again and he says so right away. He continues with very openly displaying his skills at charming people with honeyed words, seemingly enjoying himself while doing so. But what we have to keep in mind is that he's done that thousands and thousands of times already. I think it's safe to assume that he's perfected this mask of a smug, flirtatious man enjoying all this debauchery. 
But after giving us one suggestive line after another, he does something that does not match the tone of the conversation so far: his fake love confession. I mean, just look at him. 
He goes from completely exaggerated facial expressions and gestures: 
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When I'm with you, I feel practically alive, yet I crave only to die again with you.
To this:
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I love you
We get a closeup of his face and see that he gets serious all of a sudden despite the fact that the conversation has been all fun and flirty just a moment ago. He draws his brows together, tells Tav "I love you" and then just looks at us with this serious and almost sad expression. Completely different from before when he was just toying around. 
And yes, I just said he's very practiced in playing pretend, but just the difference between shallow and cheesy lines about craving to die together and their perfect body whispering temptation in contrast to a simple "I love you" and then on top of that the difference on how he conveys it - for me it just doesn't fit together, this isn’t Astarion pretending. And furthermore he gains nothing from adding this confession. The flirty lines would have been enough to seduce Tav once again and therefore ensure their attachment to him, so that his protection is granted. And that is all he wants, at least in the beginning. 
But then, why would he voice this fake confession in the first place? And that's where my theory sets in. I don't think he would risk the trouble of getting more feelings involved than necessary in his "nice simple plan" - seducing Tav, sleeping with them, manipulating their feelings. For doing so, he simply wouldn't need a love confession. 
With saying "How about I say those little words. Everyone's favourite" he already suggests that he's said them to a lot of people already. And this surely is a way to charm and seduce people very fast, but with Tav he doesn't need to rush. They're tied together for an indefinite amount of time, he doesn't need to seduce them in a matter of hours or days before serving them to his master. And he's already seduced Tav successfully before, so my guess is this:
My explanation for the fake confession
The real confession scene, where he admits to having started to genuinely feel something for Tav, came a bit out of nowhere for me. (And don't get me started with our options to react to his real confession. I talked about that here.) I don’t think he would just willingly tell Tav that he's grown fond of them, when a few nights before he threw the fake confession their way without giving a damn about Tav's feelings - that just felt very out of character for him in my opinion. 
But what if he started to fall in love with Tav even before the fake confession? Think about it, he has slept with Tav once - successfully seduced - so all he has to do is sustain this kind of relationship. Saying all his favourite lines at Tav and trying to get them to sleep with each other for a second time would have been just that - sustaining the relationship at present. But then he says "I love you". And I say he does so purposefully. It's a test. Having someone like you enough to sleep with you is one thing. Having deep and complex feelings like love involved is something else entirely. So he tests the waters with this confession. He hides behind all of these flirtatious lines and places the confession at their end to throw a veil over its real meaning. 
It may be a lie either way - saying it just for entertainment or saying it to see if Tav is open for deeper feelings - but I think he exaggerates on purpose to trigger a reaction that speaks for itself. Does Tav care about these words? Is Tav hurt to see that Astarion is apparently willing to play with their feelings like this? Or do they not care about such vanities? 
I want to emphasise the fact that Astarion hasn't had the luxury to allow himself anything resembling these kinds of feelings for at least two centuries. Naturally, he would not just come around and open up his heart to Tav when all he's done until then was charming them just for his plan. He would want to reassure himself that this wouldn't turn against him if he dares to show such great vulnerability in front of anyone. He says it himself when he properly confesses that it is intimidating for him to make decisions on his own again. And confessing his feelings is exactly one of those intimidating decisions.  
Interpreting Astarion's reaction
To back up my take I want to take a closer look at Astarion's reaction when we reject him after the fake confession. After he laughs the confession off in one way or the other, he insists on having sex with you again. Here he sticks to exaggerated facial expressions and gestures, just like before with his honeyed words.
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Now, as much as I relish standing around and saying all my favourite lines at you, I’d much rather we got to experience each others’ full portfolio of talents once again.
But if Tav then turns him down with saying “I don’t think I really want this”, this is his immediate reaction:
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Well, well, excuse me while I die of a broken heart.
He takes a few seconds to process what Tav said, and then instantly responds with another exaggeration accompanied by fitting gesticulation, ending with a fake smile. After that he just looks at Tav for another few seconds and his demeanor changes again:
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In all honesty, it's a shame. That time was special to me. I've gotten on my back ten thousand times or more, and forgotten half of them. 
He loses his fake smile, averts his gaze and starts fumbling with his hands nervously. He can't hide his disappointment, but he tries to keep his face neutral - even if it doesn't work all too well. He tells us we were special before giving us a scrunched fake smile once again. It's really hard to watch…
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But you… you I'll remember. 
For usually being rather quick to react and respond, we can see how difficult it is for him to react to Tav in this case.
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Have a fine evening, dear. 
He pauses yet again, lifts his gaze to the sky and just looks so lost. Mere moments ago he was flirting and laughing, and now he seems so utterly desperate. And then, he can't even keep up his attempts of masking his sadness when his expression slips in the end and his face scrunches painfully for just a second before the whole scene ends. This really broke my heart.
Conclusion
This is definitely not the reaction of someone who was turned down for just another round of sex - even if this meant that Astarion's plan of assuring his safety didn't work out. Because then he could have just tried to get Tav to change their mind with another one of his favourite lines. Or he would have at least reacted like he does when you tell him to stay at the camp ("Oh darling, I'm hurt" which he obviously isn't). But he doesn't. 
Because this is the reaction of someone who dared to get his hopes up. Someone who thought that maybe, just maybe, these unwanted, complicated feelings for Tav which had slowly crept up, nullifying his nice simple plan, could genuinely lead to a relationship he didn't know he needed so desperately. Someone who is so devastated by a rejection at this point, that he doesn't even question it. He just accepts that Tav isn't interested in sleeping with him, let alone having feelings beyond sexual desire. It's just as it always has been. It's not as if Astarion remembers anyone caring about him, so why should it be different this time… 
And that's why I think this whole fake love confession was a way for Astarion to veil his growing feelings for Tav under the pretence of flirting, and had the purpose to find out if he could more or less safely confess his true feelings to Tav. 
Gods, this is so heartbreaking. I need to pat Astarion's fluffy head in my dreams as a redemption. 
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mrrharper · 2 months
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More Loyal, More American, More The Same
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Coach had been annoyed a bit lately. It wasn't because of any singular thing - a lost game or some encounter. It was more of a... vibe, as his players would say. It's something that's been nagging him for a long time.
The whole atmosphere around college football has changed. Players can now earn money, meaning they now care only about getting rich instead of sacrificing everything they've got for the team. The craze abound 'toxic masculinity' has taken hold, and as a result many guys on the team have taken up interests and activities unworthy of real men - and they are extremely public about this!
Something has been lost - some immeasurable yet vital part of college football's spirit. And unfortunately Coach's team wasn't immune to this. He has seen his younger recruits display a variety of behaviors that differed from his view of how a college football rookie should function in a locker room filled with other football players.
And Coach's opinion becomes the law of the locker room. So after he saw a few of his defensive linemen participate in a film theory seminar, and his starting wide receiver posted a picture showing him attending some anti-government protest, he knew he had to act.
He decided to tackle these issues in a few ways. He began with working on his players' patriotism. Coach knew that he needed his guys to have this base layer - respect for the great nation that they were a part of - that he could build upon. He turned to one of his most trusted tools, subconscious messaging hidden in his videos and presentations.
you are an American
you are a Real Patriot
you play AMERICAN football
you fight for America
America is the greatest country on Earth
you preserve American traditions and values
During teem meetings, the players' minds began internalizing the importance of unquestionable loyalty to the US of A, the greatest place in the world. Coach spent a few weeks working on this, and when Military Appreciation Day came, for the first time in a long time, the whole team took active part in it. He even heard a few of them talk abut enlisting after college.
Motivated by such positive results, Coach moved to his next objective. After a bit of tampering, the speakers the players used to play music in the gym during workouts began incorporating conditioning that would align their behavior with Coach's expectations.
i am a man
i am proud to be a man
i am a strong man
i do what is masculine
my manhood needs upkeep
masculinity defines me
Alongside this, it didn't take a lot of work for coach to make sure that none of his players could sign up for any extracurricular activity through the school's registration system. Not only that, they were now barred form attending anything other than the most basic of classes.
Fortunately, the results were visible here as well. The players stopped attending seminars and lectures created by a bunch of nerds and no longer showed interest in investing much time into any sort of academic work.
The last step Coach decided to undertake was meant to address the issue of money. Players, having the ability to make deals and get income from their appearance in games, seemed to have lost the true reason for playing college football. But there was a way of dealing with that too.
The new helmets that the athletics department bought recently all include a pair of speakers for the purpose of communication between the coaches and the player. In theory this is reserved only for the QB, but there's nothing Coach can't work around.
i play AMERICAN football
i am grateful Coach allows me to play
i play football for glory and to preserve tradition
the thrill of the game is enough
i am Coach's loyal football jock
During every practice, during every workout, during every game, the player's minds were being bombarded with Coach's hypnotic message. And it was working. The guys were displaying their patriotism more often - flags hanging in their rooms, tons of pro-american posts on Instagram, they stopped attending non-mandatory classes and instead added another team session in the gym to their schedules, and Coach noted a visible drop in the number of sponsorship deals the players were making.
There might have been one side effect. As time went on the players began looking more and more similar. The same hobbies, mostly working out or shooting, the same clothes, the same views, the same drive to protect tradition. And Coach had absolutely nothing against that. Who cares if they all act the same, as long as they act exactly as he wants them to.
As Coach's loyal football jocks.
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dcxdpdabbles · 11 months
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The Royal Consort. Part 3
"Mr. Fenton! Will you be attending the Wayne Charity Gala with your husband?" A reporter demands, thrusting her mic into Danny's face.
"I-" He tries to say, but another reporter jumps in.
"Is it true Bruce Wayne is attempting to have his kids seduce your husband?"
"What?"
"Mr. Fenton, is it true that you could stop a war simply by batting your eyelashes?!"
"Hey, now that's uncalled for."
"What is the political climate in the wake of the disbanded Anti-Ecto Acts?"
Danny couldn't even tell where the questions were coming from. He tried to push through the crowd of new crews, but every step of the way, more and more people crowded him.
He should've stayed in the hotel room Mr. Wayne had rented for his family, but Danny had thought he could sneak out and explore Gotham.
After Dani had burst into the meeting room, in all her ghostly glory, the Justice League had allowed them a short recess so his parents could meet their "granddaughter."
He is still determining exactly what she told them, as he is too busy to dodge more of Batman's questions. He just hoped she could keep the ruse up in the face of his parents' smothering apologies.
His dad wrapped her up I'm his arms, sobbing the whole time while his mother was snapping pictures of Dani, crying about how much she had grown.
Thank the stars Jazz had pulled her "niece" to the side for a short conversation. When they came back, Dani had taken the princess role so well that she answered most of the Ghost Zone questions like the ambassador she was pretending to be.
Her age? Yeah, that was off cause the time zone difference in the Ghost Zone. She was only four years in human years but looked sixteen due to her half-blood and where she grew up.
The chances of war? No, her dad had appeased the war council after the United Nations called the USA on their bullshit.
Demands Phantom had? Respect the dead. Honor the rights of his people. Leave the natural portals alone, and if his subjects were causing issues call one of his to take care of it.
Did she not need an anchor? She's half-human, so she could pop between worlds at will, but only because the Ghost King allowed it.
Where had she been before Phantom took the throne? Danny was not in a stage of life to raise a child- he had only been fifteen!- so Phantom raised her in his lair. Yes, she came to visit Danny.
Did she practically say she was a child of separated parents? Yes. Did she regret it? Only when rumors about Phantom wanting to replace Danny sprung, and she had people trying to get her to introduce them to his "father."
How strong was she? Step into the ring, Wonder Woman; let's test it. (They did spar, and surprisingly, she gave Wonder Woman a run for her money, but in the end, the more experienced fighter won. The Amazonian offered to train her)
By the end of it, Danny and Dani left with stacks of possible legislation about peace among their people. They both promised to get it to Phantom.
Just as they left, Batman informed them that Bruce Wayne had invited them to the Gala. He also offered them asylum in Gotham by housing them in his family manor until the media died.
Danny had almost accepted, but Jazz had stepped in with sharp eyes and a cold smile. "Please tell Mr. Wayne we are honored by the offer, but we would prefer our own space."
Batman grunted. "Would a penthouse be predered?"
"Yes, thank you."
He loved Jazz.
His mom had whispered in Danny's ear as they were teleporting- the Justice League had teleporting technology!?- back to Earth. "Do you think the rumors about Bruce Wayne being Batman's lover are true?"
Danny had yet to pay much mind to Wes Weston's theories, but honestly, the way Batman was able just to promise things on Mr. Wayne's behalf.....well, if the Box Ghost and Lunch Lady could happen, why not a billionaire and a crime-fighting
Danny, Jazz, and Dani had been hiding in the pen house for about three days. His parents had returned home to secure their lab after the fifth time curious meddlesome reporters had tripped their house security.
Danny will admit he went stir-crazy, so using his powers, he turned invisible and went out when his sisters had been watching a show. He had made it for about five hours when someone saw him buying a coffee and tweeted his location.
His sightseeing had been cut short by the crowds of people that swarmed him.
"Mr. Fenton, what do you say about parents criticizing how early you married?"
Danny was pushed up against the wall by the crowd, wishing he could just turn ghost and drop this whole thing. He felt a burning sensation in the back of his eyes, and for one horrifying moment, he thought they were going to record him bursting into tears when a man broke through the crowd.
"That is far enough!" The man placed himself in front of Danny, shielding the eighteen-year-old. His British accent made the sharpness of his words even more scorching. "You all know that a press conference will be in a few days and that surrounding a royal could be an act of war! Get back!"
Danny had a moment of relief until someone snatched his arm. He flinches away, going for a punch, but it gets caught by the person tugging him through the crowd.
Danny could only blink at the smiling face of Dick Grayson until the man helped him into a car. The British man quickly came back, jumping into the driver's seat and speeding off as the crowd of reporters tried to get one last photo.
Danny's breaths were coming in short, fast puffs. He wasn't very sure what was going on. He couldn't think. There were so many flashes. So many voices. So many people-!.
A hand pushed his head between his knees, rubbing his back. "It's okay. You're okay. "
Danny gasped, tears finally falling as he tried to explain why he had done something stupid. "I-i just wanted to see- the landmarks- I didn't mean- I- I."
"Shhh. I know. It's okay. You're okay."
After a while, Danny was able to sit up. His saviors had asked him to name five things he saw, four things he could hear, three things he could listen to, and one thing he could taste to calm down, but it worked. Only then did he realize there were more people in the fancy car with them.
A boy his age sat on his right, having been the one to push his head down. It took only a second to recognize him: Tim Drake, teenage CEO and one of the most attractive men he had ever seen.
A blond teenage girl who also seemed their age sat in the passenger seat, though she twisted around to give him a warm smile. She was also very gorgeous.
Not to mention Dick Grayson, who had a warm hand on his back. Adonis must have returned as the first adopted son of Bruce Wayne because, goddam, that man was fine.
Even the British man was handsome for someone his grandfather's age.
Had he died (again) and gone to heaven?
"Here," Drake placed a cold water bottle in his palm, offering the gobsmacked Danny a small smile. "Drink. It'll help."
"Ugh...I.. thank you for rescuing me," He managed to gasp out.
"Don't mention it. We all know the hell of the paparazzi. Glad you alright. " the girl said. "I'm Stephanie Brown, but you can call me Steph. The guy to your right is Tim Drake, the one on your left is Dick Grayson, and this fine man driving us is Alfred Pennyworth."
"I'm Danny Fenton." He says, taking a swing. The cold water went down his throat and grounded him.
"We know. You've made quite the wave with your marriage." Grayson said though not unkindly. "We'll have to take you to our manor to switch cars; otherwise, they'll just wait for us at the hotel."
Danny thought it over before whispering, "Can I message my sister? She must be worried-"
A portal rips open in front of him. The other humans all let out cries of alarm but not as loudly as Danny when Phantom's head pokes out of it.
He has a moment to wonder how in the world that was possible until the ghost waves at him using one of Clockwork's necklaces. Oh, it's him from the future. Okay. That's happening.
"Darling! I felt you in distress! What happened?! Shall I punish everyone in Gotham? " Phantom questions in a tone Danny had never been aware he could make. It's smooth. It's all-knowing. It's seductive.
What the fuck is going on?
"There is no need for any form of punishment. Not to worry, your highness." Drake quickly jumps in. "We would never allow anything to happen to your husband. I will personally keep Mr. Fenton away from any danger. "
Danny watched in slight horror as his future ghost self gave the other man a long look before smirking. "I appreciate the offer, and you are certainly my type with that black hair and blue eyes, but I am fine with only one husband. Danny will decide to add you to the marriage if he would like to have more partners."
Drake blinks wide started eyes. "I- I beg your pardon?"
"I have a protection and ice core. Proclaiming to keep my romantic partner safe is the same as asking for my hand in marriage due to the customs of protective spirits. Were you not aware?"
"I wasn't!" Danny interrupts loudly. " I was very unaware that meant marriage proposals!"
Phantom gives him a cheeky smile, and suddenly Danny understands why all his Rouges had wanted to beat his face so often. He can be rather annoying.
"No one will be above you, darling. You are the embodiment of beauty, and I would never desire another. However, the royal family is allowed concubines. You may take human ones if you wish to. I wouldn't want to ruin any of your fun."
"Who told you to say this!?" Danny demands, forgetting himself for a moment. Or the watchful eyes of the Waynes swinging between them with prompt attention.
"Why just the royal advisor!" Phantom laughs, his white hair bouncing as he tilts his head.
Jazz. She was responsible for this. How could he have thought she was sane?
"I don't want a concubine!" Danny yells, face burning. He's never been more mortified in his life, including walking down. For breakfast in Superman boxers, only to find Superman at the bottom of the stairs.
What a terrible day that was to run out of clean pants.
Phantom smiles. "I love you too, darling. I shall see you soon. I do not wish to strain your body anymore."
He thrusts his head back into the glowing green portal, and with a soft pop, he's gone. The car is utterly silent until Grayson whispers.
"Does this mean Tim just got married through fae laws?"
Danny whips his head at him. "No! It does not!"
Drake lets out a small breath of relief. "Oh, thank God. Not that you aren't hot, Mr. Fenton, but I'm not ready for marriage."
Danny wonders if he can reach the door handle to throw himself out of a speeding car. He knows somewhere in the future. He is laughing his ass off at current him.
"Dude, none taken. Could you clarify how I ended up here? I just wanted to jump across Gotham roofs, and suddenly, I can marriage trap people."
Danny wishes he could kick his own ass- not counting Dan- as Steph breaks into uncontrolled laughter.
"Oh, Danny, you're going to fit in well!" She says between wheezing.
Grayson raises his hand, face glued to his phone. "Bruce just sent in the family group chat that none of us are allowed near Phantom."
"Why?" Danny asks.
Grayson shrugs. "We're all his type, and Bruce's heart can't handle that."
"Fair enough"
(Part 1) (Part 2)
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king-wyrmwood-art · 3 months
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Kitsuneisi Art Study!
This is an art study of @kitsuneisi, using mostly references from their tumblr. I wanted to do an art study and was super excited for the new DDVAU update so woo!
I've written some notes in the margins of each drawing and would love to go more in-depth about both our styles and the general process, but this post would be so incredibly long so I'll refrain for now. (I might break it up into separate parts and turn this into a master list one day).
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This first three are the base of any art study: leaning the proportions and sketching style of the artist! The first image is from @xmaruu11's first Twitch stream, which I discovered a few days in my study and watched to get a sense of Kitsuneisi's sketching style.
The main difference between our styles is that Kitsuneisi's poses are more fluid and they draw the face first, whereas my poses are stiffer and I drawn the head first.
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Kitsuneisi and I use different drawing programs, so I couldn't quite make a brush that matched theirs; from looking at their Valentine's comic (which I chose so that colours wouldn't distract me), I noticed the line variation lent a lot to the fluidity.
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Colour theory my beloathed! While I was laying out the colours for the Scar drawing, I noticed that the blue Kitsuneisi used was very warm-toned. In almost all of the light-hearted scenes, they use warm colours or warm-tinted colours, while the more serious scenes use darker or cooler tones.
The lighter, warmer backgrounds in the office scenes/G being a simp give a more wholesome feel, while the darker backgrounds in serious moments give a more intense atmosphere.
Now, all that's great, but it's time to put it into practice!
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For my sketch, I tried to use a more dynamic pose and focus on making the face a focal point.
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In my lineart, I tried to vary my line thickness.
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For the flat colours, I used mostly warm tones and tried to match the colours used in the comics, but my love of cool tones took over the Mother Spore wings. I think it makes a nice contrast, at least.
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And the final image! (I'll be posting it separately). The background adds a better contrast and helps Grian stand out despite how dark some of the colours are. I'm honestly very proud of this piece and hope both Kitsuneisi and Maru like it too. :)
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transmutationisms · 5 months
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from a non-academic, i find parts of comphet to be useful (heterosexuality becomes compulsory when you’re raised in a heterosexual society) but the foundations . suck. what do we do with theories like this, that have touched on a truth but also carry a lot of garbage? can we separate the truth from the founder?
i have to be slightly pedantic and say that i don't think rich's essay is an example of this phenomenon. my central issue with her formulation is its bioessentialist assumptions about human sex and therefore also sexuality. if i say "capitalism includes economic mechanisms that enforce heterosexual behaviour and exclude other possibilities", then what i mean by "heterosexual" is plainly not the same as what rich means—and for this reason i would seldom formulate the statement this way, without clarifying that i am talking about the enforcement of heterosexuality as a part of the creation and defence of sex/gender categories themselves. so rich and i do not actually agree on the very fundamental premises of this paper! rich was not the first or only person to point out that economic mechanisms as well as resultant social norms enforce heterosexual pairings; i actually don't even think the essay does a very clear job of interrogating the relationship between labour, economy, and the creation of sex/gender; she means something different and essentialist to what i mean by sex and sexuality; and i think her proposed responses to the phenomenon she identifies as 'compulsory heterosexuality' are uninteresting because they mainly propose psychological answers to a problem arising from conditions of political economy. so, in regards to this specific paper, i am actually totally comfortable just saying that it's not a useful formulation, and i don't feel a need to rescue elements of it.
in general, i do know what you're talking about, and i think there's a false dichotomy here: as though we must either discard an idea entirely if it has elements we dislike, or we accept it on the condition that we can plausibly claim these elements and their author are irrelevant. these are not comprehensive options. instead, i would posit that every theory, hypothesis, or idea is laden with context, including values held and assumptions made by their progenitors. the point is not to find a mythical 'objective' truth unburdened by human bias or mistakes; this is impossible. instead, i think we need to take seriously the elements of an idea that we object to. why are they there? what sorts of assumptions or arguments motivate them, and are those actually separable from whatever we like in the idea? if so, can we be clear about which aspects of the theory are still useful or applicable, and where it is that the objectionable elements arise? and if we can identify these points, then what might we propose instead? this is all much more useful, imo, than either waiting for a perfect morally unimpeachable theory or trying to 'accept' a theory without grappling with its origins (political, social, intellectual).
a recent example that you might find interesting as a kind of case study is j lorand matory's book the fetish revisited, which argues that the 'fetish' concept in freud's and marx's work drew from their respective understandings of afro-atlantic gods. in other words, when marx said capitalists "fetishise" commodities or freud spoke about sexual "fetishism", they were each claiming that viewing an object as agentive, meaning-laden in itself (ie, devoid of the context of human meaning-making as a social and political activity) was comparable to 'primitive' and delusory religious practices.
matory's point here isn't that we should reject marx's entire contribution to political economy because he was racist, nor is it that we can somehow accept parts of what marx said by just excising any racist bits. rather, matory asks us to grapple seriously with the role that marx's anthropologically inflected racism plays in his ideas, and what limitations it imposes on them. why is it that marx could identify the commodity as being discursively abstracted and 'fetishised', but did not apply this understanding to other ideas and objects in a consistent way? and how is his understanding of this process of 'fetishisation' shaped by his beliefs about afro-atlantic peoples, and their 'intelligence' or civilisational achievements in comparison to northwestern europeans'? by this critique matory is able to nuance the fetish concept, and to argue that marx's formulation of it was both reductive and inconsistently applied (analogously to how freud viewed only some sexuality as 'fetishistic'). it is true in some sense that capital and the commodity are reified and abstracted in a manner comparable to the creation of a metaphysical entity, but what we get from matory is both a better, more nuanced understanding of this process of meaning-making (incl. a challenge to the racist idea of afro-atlantic gods as simply a result of inferior intelligence or cultural development), and the critical point that if this is fetishism, then we must understand a lot more human discourse and activity as hinging on fetishisation.
the answer of what we do with the shitty or poorly formulated parts of a theory won't always be the same, obviously; this is a dialogue we probably need to have (and then have again) every time we evaluate an idea or theory. but i hope this gives you some jumping-off points to consider, and an idea of what it might look like to grapple with ideas as things inherently shaped by people—and our biases and assumptions and failings—without assuming that means we can or should just discard them any time those failings show through. the point is not to waste time trying to find something objective, but to understand the subjective in its context and with its strengths and limitations, and then to decide from there what use we can or should make of it.
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caroloftheshells · 2 years
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somehow hadn’t gotten around to watching adam neely’s video on the schenker journal tire fire yet but i must give props for signal boosting that whole debacle to jazztube and, i guess, boosting the non-music-theorist visibility of that past year’s smt plenary talks, which unilaterally fucked
#'hadn't gotten around to' --> i don't watch adam neely#not even for principled reasons i just hate the clickbait thumbnails but the couple videos i have watched were p good#anyway i make a cameo as one of the t*mothy j*ckson is a racist dick signatories. how bout that#sorta good video turns out!#i do find questionáble the sort of uhhhhhh blanket field homogenization @ the expense of fellow scholars of color / female scholars but w/e#&/or elision between theory educational practices which are resultant of racist nasm (etc) standards & theory as academic field#which is quite a bit more heterogeneous in content despite having all the normal academia problems#(including racism & sexism obvs). but in terms of 'music theory as taught' that is a slightly different and broader convo#like i think there are bigger fish involving music ed as classical-by-default; ye olde orchestra/opera programming; copyright law; et cetera#that all feed into it ie the expectation that one learns to analyze x by standards built for x for job training#...to play x to audition for the one (1) available chair in an orchestra that only plays x because it's cheaper & less risky#than commissioning alive people &/or alienating richer older whiter season ticket holders with; like; non mozart#+the textbook publishing thing as well obviously privileges music notated in x way that has been preserved And has lapsed into public domain#which means being limited to people who sought publication + Could Get published in staff notation during a certain time period#like ok conspiracy theory pins on a corkboard moment but it is all the same thing#ie i would venture; and this is a guess; that the popcultural idea of theory as wam harmony Stems From theory ed geared for orchestra jobs#whose recipients are like well ok this is 'what theory is' and then try and roman-numeral an edm track like a total bozo or w/e#whereas you look at published papers & see music video analyses; timbre studies; pop harmony; meter & flow.... etc. totally different deal#the separation between the two being; like; what is assumed standard knowledge for 'marketable' classical musicians vs not#theorycomp tag#carol overreacts to life
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headspace-hotel · 7 months
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There's a plentiful supply of nature and ecology writers that criticize "Anthropocentrism" and tell readers that we shouldn't consider ourselves more important than other life forms, and then they write things that are like "We evolved to live in Nature in a Natural environment...Long ago humans lived as hunter-gatherers instead of farming and domesticating animals...But when civilization was created, man unnaturally subjugated and modified plants and animals...Bringing them under human control for his own benefit...Man replaces natural ecosystems with artificially created "post-natural" environments...Now humans live in an unnatural environment that is separated from Nature...and i'm like buddy. do you even hear yourself
Since I have access to a bigger library now, I've explored "deep ecology" and "green anarchism" and "Biocentrism" a bit more and what i've seen is still kinda silly. The writers have very thoughtful theory and philosophy of diverse subjects relating to morality, society, power, and liberation, but...they just don't know very much about Nature.
I mean several things by that: first, they're not clear on the boring, practical details of things like food systems and the way construction alters ecosystems, second, they don't try to clearly define what "nature" is, and third, they act like "nature" has a clear definition anyway.
Now nature is pretty much undefinable anyway, a couple possible definitions are "all things that exist, have existed, or are possible in the universe" and "the thing that a forest has that a parking lot doesn't." You can say "biodiversity," but every space has biodiversity, and it's not clear how much biodiversity a space is "supposed" to have, we're just going on vibes. And the vibes are right, in a way; I visited an old-growth forest and it was DIFFERENT than any place i'd ever been in a way that is hard to describe. A flourishing, biodiverse ecosystem is different than a parking lot, a lawn, a monoculture field of corn. They say it's good for your health to be "in nature." What does that mean? At what point does a place become "nature?" How many trees does it have to have?
Something that is so painful to me is when people write "Human activities" as a cause of biodiversity loss. This is an act of cowardice. WHICH human activities? Name them.
A lot of nature and ecology writings treat humans like they have an anti-biodiversity force field that emanates from them. They write like lands on Earth are each contested between two inversely proportional forces, "Nature" and "Humans."
Without any more information, this is ethereal bullshit on par with crystals having energies. I am totally perplexed at the lack of curiosity about the specific causes and details of "human impacts." The division of habitats by so many roads and relentless speeding of cars with no way for wildlife to cross...the dumping of massive amounts of poison into soils and water...the wounding and disturbance of topsoil...these are the "human activities," but we can imagine a world without such destruction, and we can create that world.
Too many essays and papers talking about Nature non-specifically, an Idea of Nature, a Concept that everyone just intuitively knows. Nature is...you know...wildness! and trees! and...well, you know, NATURE!
And we do know! When we step out into the parking lot surrounded by low, squarish buildings and blaring signs and the stink of car exhaust, we know that something is very wrong with this place! Even we find these horrible un-places harsh and unwelcoming.
But it is very hard to imagine something different, because the other type of place, the place that is beautiful and soothes the spirit and is full of life, is by definition the place where humans only go to visit, the complete opposite and inverse of a place where humans work and live! Wherever humans live, shop, eat, fulfill their daily needs, that place is Not Nature.
The huge mistake, is that we believe that it is necessary to have places that are Not Nature. We believe that for humans to exist, areas must be set aside where the very concept of Nature is utterly obliterated.
From this imaginary and dismal point of view, we have to carefully confine our own lives to places that are utterly poisoned, sterilized, made into a hostile wasteland, and leave all the rest of the living biosphere to itself in pristine preserves.
And in this imaginary and dismal point of view, the one that divides Earth into Nature and Humans, it is okay to poison and to sterilize and to destroy, because humans must live SOMEWHERE, therefore Nature must be utterly excluded from at least SOME of Earth.
BUT...WHAT IF EVERYWHERE IS NATURE? What if the dandelions in the cracks of the pavement, the lichens growing on the park bench, the wildflowers on the side of the road, the sparrows in the parking lot—what if they are all Nature just as much as anything else? What if they too are sacred? What if it is our responsibility to see the connectedness of all life and to care for all ecosystems, however broken and hurt they may be?
What if Nature is not distant and abstract, untouched in some pristine place, but always reaching out, digging into the crumbled concrete and gravel and compacted ground, clawing to return to us and bring us back home?
It does not take away from the value of the old-growth forest or the unplowed prairie if we open our eyes and see even the scraggliest patch of overgrown weeds for the powerful manifestation of Nature it truly is.
Nature is not a place or a thing. Nature is the Movement, the Endless Happening, constantly alive throughout all life, the way of all things being family, the way of all things taking care of each other, the way of all life being constantly transformed through one another. You breathe the breath of the trees of your home, you drink the water of the streams of your home, you eat the sunlight that falls on your home, grown in the soil where all things go to be transformed through death into a new form of life, fed by the mycorrhizal network, pollinated by the bees, wasps, flies, and moths, nourished by the bone, blood and manure of beasts, and ultimately the fertile river valleys where agriculture first began, were replenished by the rich silt that washed down the river, which came from the forests in the mountains that shed their leaves to make a feast for a million decomposing critters, which is how the rich soil is made.
In this way they all take care of you, and in return you are asked to Live—to take care of them in return, to live as part of the great family of everything alive, to live, to live
What are human activities...? Deforestation? Mining? Spraying pesticides? Building housing developments? But is that all? Are we inherently a "bad" and "destructive" species, or is our ability to acquire and pass down knowledge, use tools and novel behaviors, alter our surroundings, shape ecosystems, adapt our lifestyles almost infinitely, and persist in almost any environment, simply incredibly powerful for good or for evil?
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First of all, what better way to demonstrate a contrast to anthropocentrism...than to compare the impact of humans alone to the impact of an ENTIRE KINGDOM OF LIFE, the fungi????? Of course all of Fungi are more important than one single species??? Wtf?!?!?
But also, we should not convince ourselves of our own insignificance and worthlessness to the biosphere, because in the same way that individual self-loathing can be a way to avoid the hard work of loving oneself and advocating for the love one deserves, collective self-loathing as a species is a way of avoiding the responsibility we have to other life forms.
How can this author not think of a single role Humans play in the ecosystem?? What species plants trees, saves seeds, documents rare plants, rescues injured animals and heals them, raises orphaned chicks, manages controlled burns, digs ponds, thoughtfully harvests in anticipation of future seasons, mercifully culls in understanding of suffering that cannot be fixed? What species writes a new chapter in the genome of the American Chestnut so it can be saved from extinction? What species mends the broken kakapo egg with sticky tape? What species addresses their own habitat with that fondest name of Home?
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