#do not recommend

[toshidou]

I had a Thought today I feel I need to share with everyone: it would be impossible to 69 with König.

18+ only, duh

That man is so insanely big. Once he'd have your thighs pinned to either side of his face, there's not a chance in hell you'd ever be able to get his cock anywhere near your lips, your torso splayed against his chest, fingers reaching down to curl around his shaft, to touch whatever skin your stretched arms will allow you. And the best part is, he wouldn't even notice that you're desperately trying to return the near blinding pleasure he's giving you, too absorbed in the way your folds glisten with a mixture of your arousal and his spit, lost in the little whines and pleas that fall from your lips at every swipe of his tongue.

Yes, I am very aware that this man has a massive dick, but even then it'd be torturously out of reach, twitching against his abdomen as if it was taunting you. And sure, in theory you could squirm and wriggle and try to manoeuvre you're way down his torso, but if you think for a fucking second that König is going to relinquish his hold on you, you'd be very, very wrong. No, this man's fingers would be gripping the flesh of your thighs so hard he'd leave bruises, perfect indents of his fingertips marked with splashes of green and purple that take weeks to fade. You'd be well and truly at his mercy, unable to do anything but lie atop his chest and take it, stuck between needing more, and craving the feeling of your lips stretched around his cock.

And if you thought that wasn't already overwhelming, he'd be moaning into your cunt as though he was the one getting head, the vibrations of his voice sending a series of shocks to your clit and up your spine with every word and whine uttered against your core.

"You taste like heaven, fürstin," followed by, "Ich kann nicht genug davon bekommen, I need you more, always more."

He'd only notice your struggles after tongue-fucking you through your third climax, when he feels your nails rake deep red lines into his torso, trying to claw your way down his chest, your eyes locked onto the deep maroon flush to his cockhead. Your desperation to pleasure him would be the only reason he'd release his grip on you just enough for you to get your lips wrapped around the tip; knowing that right now, he can make you feel good by letting you please him.

He definitely wouldn't be complaining, however, his head thrown back against the mattress as you languidly swirl your tongue around whatever you can fit in your mouth, large hands moving from your thighs to toy with your spit-soaked clit, if only to relish in the way you whine around him. He'd make sure you cum once more before he lets himself find his own release, your high keens translating to deliciously sinful pleasure from where his cock is buried past your lips, finally pushing him over the edge as he kicks up his hips and savours the way your throat spasms around him, greedily drinking down his seed despite the sudden intrusion.

But even after that, he still wouldn't be satiated. After all, his pleasure is tied directly to yours, so your legs will undoubtedly end up wrapped around his head once again, because the truth is, he can never get enough of you, and you're too good for him to ever deny the sanctuary you hold between quaking thighs.

#i had said thought whilst driving #can i just say #do not recommend #it's dangerous #LMFAO #konig #könig cod #könig #könig x reader #könig x you #könig mw2 #könig smut #konig x reader #konig smut #konig cod #☁︎⋅writing

[ieropilled]

frank. i quite literally cannot do this right now

#my brother in hell i was already in tears over 3839495 different things and trying to disctract myself by #stalking your twitter likes. #DID NOT WORK #DO NOT RECOMMEND #well to be honest it kind of did actually. immediately felt warmer inside and got distracted by tumblr and just stopped crying and feeling #all that dread. THEY HEAL ME

[soupbitch-moneybitch]

you know what's so gd impressive about ofmd? like, maybe the most impressive part of the whole already very impressive show? how well-rounded the characters are for how little time they have to be on screen

i spent many years in the fandom of another ensemble cast show that had a million seasons and hour-long episodes, and maybe like, five of the characters were worth the time of day. ofmd, tho, not only has an incredibly quality core cast, but even the characters they introduce for five seconds manage to have depth and appeal

take ned low's crew for example. we have a bunch of people who take up maybe a third of the episode's screen time, but by the end, the script and acting are so good that you're rooting for them as they unionize and sail away to greater pastures

then you have characters that are great on their own, but also enhance the main characters in the span of like six seconds

evelyn? a godsend, 11/10, want her back, and she was the impetus for mary taking control back over her life. steak "steaky" knife? rip big man, we knew you for two minutes but loved you, and you gave us slight insight into izzy's history/influence on the republic of pirates. hornigold wasn't even really hornigold and yet we /still/ managed to get backstory about him and learn things that added context to how ed turned into blackbeard

honestly, the amount of talent it takes to be able to make almost every character on the screen someone who either 1. drives the plot forward somehow, 2. is just delightful and entertaining, or 3. is a combination of both, all within a space the size of a needle tip is fucking astonishing. as a professional writer i am horny for how well these mother fuckers hone their craft, and as a fan of the show i'm just extremely well-fed

i've said it before, but this is genuinely so much more than a gay little pirate show (although it is also that, and i love that about it). it has so much artistic depth and everyone involved has talent coming out every orifice. i am so glad i have the privilege of watching it. every part of it is so refreshing, i am genuinely in constant awe

#the fandom was the walking dead btw #i was one of three people who watched it to the end #and i watched it for literally like #two characters #do not recommend #anyway #our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #ig #diz says words

[whumpster-dumpster]

Had a moment of self-realization as I was eating around the mold in my food that I was engaging in peak whumpee behavior. I sincerely apologize, I'm ashamed of myself for stooping to their level 😔

#whump #food #do not recommend

[paarthursass]

The magic in your fingers sparks but your spells fail again and again - consumed by the sussur flower.

#bg3edit #gamingedit #bgedit #baldur's gate #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #bg3 oc #oc: aurel #mine: gifs #mine: bg3 #coloring this was the most painful thing i've ever done #BOTH their faces were in shadow and then the sussur tree is blowing everything out in the bg.... #do not recommend #also trying to make a scene look good when one character has pink undertones in their skin and the other is just straight up grey....ough #anyways. love how these two took a detour in the underdark just to bitch at each other #truly wtf is going on w them

[theonewhowails]

in my head this is how Divine Inspiration works

#cotl #my art #cotl lamb #cotl the one who waits #UGH i miss computer i miss being able to easily edit things😭 #if you work with traditional mediums and want to make a comic with black speech bubbles and red text #my first and best piece of advice is: dont #my second piece of advice is #rather than try and do the red text first and then colour black in around it #colour in the whole speech bubble black #then use a paint marker/pen on top. i have a white paint marker so i let it dry and then coloured on top of that with red #do not recommend #anyways. i dont really think narinder would say 'lol idk' HOWEVER the image is funy to me #and also i definitely dont think he gives a shit about how these things affect mortals #i however. initially thought that 'demon possesses ur follower to accompany you into battle' would mean something like #like. they fight and can get KILLED. and run at anything that can aggro like a fucking diablo companion #so i avoided it my whole first playthrough and suffered a lot for it #i got stuck on kallamar and got really stressed about how my followers were dying faster than i could acquire new ones #and also now that i had a full set of doctrines i really regretted some of my choices bc they didnt pair up so well #so i started a new game and decided to be evil #and thats how i ended up fully filling out the folower forms! :]

[houseofchronicpain]

Migraines are dumb. I really don't think anyone should have one.

#migraine #long covid #chronic illness #do not recommend

[oceancentury]

Rinaldo Missaglia - Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975).

#his bad teeth make him hotter #salo or the 120 days of sodom #rinaldo missaglia #do not recommend #male beauty #Italian men #aesthetic

[argumentativeantitheticaldrmgirl]

How is it only Monday? 🥲

#oh hey it's me #my face #like 🙃🙃🙃 #the vibes aint vibin #byeee <3 #work from home #being an adult is hard #0 out of 10 #do not recommend

[arctophyllax]

I’m doing an evil dark urge playthrough currently and I’m doing. Everything questionable and morally wrong. So I had to convince myself to betray Zevlor and I am NOT okay. I legit took an hour to process this and my ass just had to pick up his dead body because there’s no way I’m leaving him to rot…

Dark Urge obtained one weak spot.

Was constantly telling myself “it’s just a game it’s fine you didn’t actually betray him”

But then Zevlor said “you turned on us? Hells, why?” as if his “Gods above, you’re alive. A little light, just as the day seems darkest.” didn’t already ruin me because I knew what would happen.

HE SOUNDED SO HOPEFUL, SO GENUINELY HAPPY TO SEE ME ALIVE AND I JUST RIWSIEUWJWN

Safe to say this is my full on evil playthrough and this will BE IT and I’ll NEVER do it again. And I didn’t even end up recruiting Minthara, I killed her at camp

Larian, I rate this a 0/10 experience please let me recruit Zevlor instead of Minthara, she is unpleasant company and I will forever feel guilty about this fictional in-game murder I’ve committed.

#crying my ass off #over a bunch of pixels #I can’t do this anymore I want to apologise to him and kiss it better #worst experience of my life #do not recommend #bg3 zevlor #bg3 #zevlor #baldur’s gate 3

[sugaroto]

Μακαρόνια με σάλτσα και κοτομπουκιες γιατί φεύγω την τρίτη και θέλω να τελειώσω τα φαγητά. Ποιος Πετρετζίκης και βλακείες. Δείτε εδώ φοιτητική φαντασία

#εχω δοκιμάσει να κάνω και σάλτσα με αυγό #do not recommend #sugar uni life

[ashotofogdensoldfirewhiskey]

April 10: Scream

Day 10 of @hinnymicrofic TW: blood!

The scream is ripped forcefully from her lungs.

“Harry!”

She can still hear the sickening crack of the bludger against his skull, watches in horror, helpless as Harry slumps over and slips off his broom, plummeting to the earth. She can see a sickening streak of red, and his head doesn’t look quite right.

It isn’t until Peakes and Coote catch him that it occurs to Ginny she could have dived, could have tried to do something other than swallow the bile in her mouth.

Ginny has always fancied herself brave, but when she flies closer she has to look away. There’s so much blood, and his head is wrong, crushed or something, and he’s limp and pale. It’s horrible. Grotesque.

She goes to the hospital wing after they lose the match, and it isn’t until he asks what happened that Ginny remembers Ron is there. It’s a good excuse, that she went there to talk to her brother; it’s what she’ll tell Dean later.

She steals glances at Harry, slowly breathing in the reassurance that his chest is rising, the color is back in his cheeks, his head is wrapped in bandages but looks like it’s been put right. It’s the right shape, anyway, not the horrible bloody mess it had been.

It isn’t until she rows with Dean later about it that she realizes most people found it comical. Slapstick. But they hadn’t seen him, they hadn’t seen the crimson red pooling in his hair, they hadn’t been close enough to hear the sharp crack of his skull. They didn’t seem to care much that Harry had looked like he was dead.

Or perhaps such a thought didn’t suck the air from their lungs and carve a jagged hole in their chest, the way it had her.

#hinny fic #a lil angsty #hinny microfic #confession #this is inspired by IRL events #my fiance just had a gruesome injury #it was awful #do not recommend #he's okay

[emperorofthedark]

Emperor McGee’s Ophelia

#sims 2 #ts2 #simblr #strangetown #ophelia nigmos #olive specter #i have always loved that picture of alice sitting across the table from the mad hatter #so here we are #on a completely unrelated note i watched smile last night #terrible #do not recommend #fortunately i watched it around midnight and it bored me to sleep #but man i was watching the clock the entire time

[emjee]

Sometimes my brain goes out of its way to find things to worry about and today it has decided to worry about the cat. I have been informed that this is called “having anxiety”

#0/10 besties #do not recommend

[tbh-entp]

ENTPs be like

I have a very particular taste in tv shows and it is anything that you haven't recommended me

#do not recommend #sometimes just saying hey #i hate this show #as reverse psychology #is helpful #but don't tell me to get into it #lmao #entp #mbti

[troius]

Toshiro simultaneously makes Jackie look foolish (for assuming that killing the other combatant would open the dimension, for no reason) and also shows up Ichigo (by illustrating how you deal with somebody who has powers that you need deactivated when you don’t know how they work). You just negotiate! Here he’s primarily negotiating through threats, but he’s cool-headed enough not to just jump to “murder” as the solution. Well played.

#Bleach #Troius reads Bleach #toshiro hitsugaya #yukio hans vorarlberna #sneaks back in to finish up this fight #sorry for disappearing y'all I had covid #do not recommend