#eating disorders have no size

[lucysweatslove]

I just listened to a podcast with a guest speaker who had an eating disorder in her teens, became actually fat while attempting to recover, relapsed, and then got told she didn’t need to be in treatment because she was now too fat.

I feel so seen.

#atypical anorexia #eating disorders have no size

[slutdge]

its really exhausting having a mother who hates their own body so theyre determined to make you hate yours too

#i am so excited for the day that i never have to speak to my family ever again lmao goodbye you miserable fucks #if that day ever even comes #anyways i went up a single pants size so she told me im getting fat and need to ''lay off the fried chicken'' thanks mom #like shes fully aware i had an eating disorder as a teenager (which was largely her fault) like dont fucking say that #to ANYONE but like. especially not someone who had an ED #throw this whole family in the fucking garbage they cant be salvaged they will never understand what huge pieces of shit they all are

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

went to go clothes shopping today and i got the cuntiest misa-esque dress for like $8 at the thrift store <3

#it’s covered in hearts and it’s strapless w a low lace-up back and the skirt is short and poofy but it’s sewn at the edges so that the #skirt is like a sphere-ish shape that holds fairly well and i should prob just draw it so what i’m saying makes sense but it is super cute #and i also got some jeans which is new for me i’ve not worn jeans since. um. i think the last time i wore jeans i was. idk. before #i started dressing myself? so under 5 maybe? idk pants feel really restricting to me and jeans esp that’s why i’m always wearing skirts #but i feel up to it rn bc i’ve always thought they were cute and also i think i’m comfortable enough in my skin to do so which i think it’s #usually the opposite for ppl they like pants and are afraid of dresses bc they’re uncomfortable/self conscious/whatever but for me #skirts have always been a safety blanket and they are so comfortable but sometimes skirts are just not practical so i need to like #get comfortable wearing pants and i tried doing it a couple years back but i was like in the midst of an eating disorder so that didn’t go #down well but i’m cool now i’m chill abt things and wearing skirts all the time makes ppl peg me as fem and i’m like ahhhhh stop she/her-in #me when i’m obvi in femboy mode or like when i’m being androgynous but i happen to be wearing a skirt w my outfit it’s annoying #anyway it took me two fucking hours to figure out what size i was bc skirts u don’t really have a size bc u just need it to fit ur waist #and ur golden but pants are so complicated and i have wide hips and thick thighs and it took me foreverrrr to find the right size #but i did and now i will never have to do all of that ever again <3 bc it was stressful every second that i wasn’t looking in the mirror #and making bedroom eyes at myself <3

[sudaca-swag]

pray for me i have to subject myself to the terrible ordeal of trying on and buying new jean shorts as a woman who isnt a size 34

#lets see what nee cuts from hell the clothing stores have designed this summer #one thing i gotta love is the size inconsistency like yes girl go off give us more eating disorders #size 34 here is like a s/xs idk

[echoofawind]

Is there a secret for finding and buying clothes that actually make you feel good? Could someone let in on that secret please?

#i haven't really bought clothes in years #and I'm not the same size i was then #and i know I'm never going back to that #I've made a promise to myself that I'm never going to diet again #i fall into disordered eating so fast #I'm proud that for almost 2 years now I've just eaten without any mental gymnastics of calorie counting or portion finagling etc #i do try to consciously add more veggies. and i work to listen to my hungry/full indicators #so im never going back to the weight of my early twenties. never going to happen. and I spend time telling myself thats okay and normal. #then my clothes don't fit. #and when i go to the store i have a hard time finding things that A. i like. B. in my size. C. aren't crazy expensive #and i walk home emptyhanded. #i don't want to spend money on clothes I don't even like. #i feel like Im trapped in a Kobayashi Maru. a no win scenario. #i want to feel cute and comfortable in clothes. #apparently thats asking for a flying horse #e is for echo

[unwellw0rld]

♡ today’s eats ♡

microwave coconut chicken korma

♡ 330 cals

♡ 24g protein

vegan cookies and peanut butter yogurt

♡ 267 cals

♡ 12g protein

*not pictured— 21g of a protein bar: 80cals 6g protein*

today’s total: 677cals ♡ 43g protein

#the cookies could have been better tbh #same for the microwave meal #but the yogurt is my new obsession #its just yogurt pb2 and stevia #and its so fcking good #mealsp0 #mealspø #mealspo #ed meals #ana meal #plus size ana #ed not ed sheeran #ed not sheeren #tw disordered eating #overweight ana #fat ana #i need to lose so much weight

[sampilled]

paper bag by fiona apple playing while I'm in urban outfitters <333 trying and failing to find a cute dress that will fit me <33333 they really want me to kill myself :)

#it was actually the other day but i saved this to my drafts but now im ready to complain so #vent in tags -> #i have to dind a dress to wear to my uncles wedding and i cannot find a single nice plus size dress anywhere #and i hate being fat #im very much trying to turn a new leaf and be a little more body positive and such #but!!!!!! #i can't <3 #i spent yearsssss of my life obsessing over my weight tho and it got me nowhere i just gained and lost the same 50lbs for the whole of my #teenage years #and i have to be kinder to myself #and yes i am still actively trying to lose wight but!!!! #i am trying to be less of a yoyo dieter and really try to get away from binge eating and all of my other #really disordered eating habits #i just wanna eat like a normal person #exercise like a normal person and have my body reflect that #and i wanna be able to find a cute little dress in a shop :( #it is so humiliating to be fat #and i have lost weight #which is nice anc i got a lot of comments on it at first #which was not as nice cuz all i heard was #YOU WERE FAT AND WE ALLL FUCKING NOTICED #so <33333 #idk i just feel like shit :) #weight loss tw #tw ed

[thrixve]

recovering from the position of being in a larger body has been difficult, to say the least.

my eating disorder did not make me thin.

but that doesn't mean i deserve recovery less than anyone else.

#the “oh so you have binge eating disorder” comments #the “you need to lose weight more than you need to heal your relationship with food” notion #the “losing weight is more important than your mental health” idea #it's all bullshit my friends #you deserve to take care of yourself and recover fully inside and out #no matter your body size #end of story #ed recovery #eating disorder recovery #body positivity #fat positivity

[hilsoncrater]

havent shaved my legs in 2+ months and being half-arab i have thick dark body hair. tbh i don't mind the leg hair or the armpit hair or the bush it's whatever to me because i am in my Celibate Era. no one is seeing me without clothes on, and i dont have any shorts that fit properly enough to wear in public on account of weight gain. so if i do wear shorts it is purely a Stay At Home Vibe. yesterday was 80° F out & i was like "word. i'll wear shorts around the home". bad idea turns out! because my gen-x-turning-boomer parents saw my leg hair and immediately went "ew! gross! you could braid that!" and made gagging noises. then my mother told me i look round, extremely so, and maybe i should do something abt both the body hair & the extra weight

#god i love being A Woman!!!!! #last time i bought jeans i was a size 10 (before weight gain i was a size 6). now im probably like a 12? idk im too scared to go shopping #anyways this is the worst i have felt abt myself !!!! #i gotta hit the gym but i know once i start that i will begin a destructive downward spiral into Disordered Eating #especially when i start seeing results lmfao

[brostateexam]

On the minus side, this means I have to return to doing things like cooking and exercising instead of just eating protein bars and drinking sugar-free gatorade daily to replace lost electrolytes.

Oh, also, my body is absolutely fine with me having an occasional sip of water along with food, which is supposed to be a huge problem post surgery to the point where some people ten plus years afterward still can't do it, but for me, it's totally fine as long as the meal is low carb. So like, thankfully whatever freak genetics made my digestive system The Way It Is has some upside, too.

#surgical weight loss journey #ps I'm officially into straight sizes for shirts and pants again #*weight loss #*eating disorder #yes that straight size is an XXL but like... whatever. Beats having to order from big and tall stores online! #sucks ordering from B&T stores when you are under 6'2" #both because many things don't fit and because you are just Big not Tall

[dumbleb33]

Being a woman is literally the worst thing I have ever experienced. I DREAD buying clothes. One store had me convinced I lost weight and am a size smaller than I used to be. Order the same size from a different store and can’t even get them over my hips. I’m going to go get drunk and wallow bye.

#every fucking time #this is why I have body dysmorphia #and a god damn eating disorder #like why can’t all pants just be the same size #my body ACTUALLY makes me want to kilo myself #like I’m having a real fucking meltdown over this #lmao

[russenoire]

i don't offer unsolicited comment on others' bodies...

...as a matter of principle. i hate it when people comment on my body and my weight. why would i do that to someone else? it costs nothing to be kind. (figured i should make my own post here.)

i have friends who are fat; i have many, many family members who are fat. i am indifferent to their weight; they will comment on mine. repeatedly. my family will persist even if i ask them to stop. even my father assumed i was throwing up my food. (though i wouldn't have known if he hadn't brought it up in an argument when i came out to him?)

i don't love it.

once upon a time, i was too heartbroken to eat -- and working a job that exacerbated it -- and dropped down to 53 kg (118 lb). i could easily see my heart beating in my chest; i was cold, even more anxious, and frequently exhausted. but some of my former coworkers positively commented on the weight i'd lost. i was miserable.

i left that industry entirely, and eventually i regained the weight i'd lost. all 19 kg of it.

our bodies seek stasis. i was a lanky beanpole as a child. i wouldn't self-describe as a Noodle Person™ as an adult, but some might describe me that way. i have been heavier than my current weight. i have been even thinner. but my ribs and hip bones have always been visible, as long as i can remember. my wrists have always been tiny. my body always returns to my current weight and doesn't vary much from it under normal circumstances.

being thin doesn't make me unhealthy any more than being fat makes you unhealthy. so can y'all get off my arse about it? thanks.

#black tumblr #tw eating disorder mention #tw bulimia #gotta say it goes both ways though #comments on my weight aren't welcome either #i would appreciate it #my ribs have always been visible #even at my heaviest #'real people' come in all sizes #i don't even have a thigh gap #leave me alooooone #it's personal #mini rant

[icicledream-archive]

sorry im fat and veerrrryyyyy tired of things

#hoo hoo! #vent cw #in tagsssss #come back to me when you've been ridiculed all your life for your size by countless people even your own family and then maybe i'll conside #come back to me when it's been pounded into your head that you'll never be pretty or desired by anyone until you lose weight #and then maybe i will consider #ftr yes i have tried losing weight. very very hard i have tried. it's never worked #this doesnt go for skinny people who are thin due to disordered eating btw but also dont forget fat people have eating disorders too (hi!) #fat people are either only hated or fetishized and i want neither. i just want to exist man. and feel pretty for once in my fucking life

[honeyedlashton]

Tw: fatphobia and eating disorders

Making “fat” the only word on the scale is literally fatphobia. Taylor Swift has experienced an eating disorder, yes, though I don’t think that that is the right word they should have put on the scale. I think we should take the opinions of actual plus sized people over the ones outraged swifties can muster out of hatred. Someone on Twitter (here) said that she could have put “wrong” and it would have got the same point across, and I completely agree. I’m not saying that Taylor doesn’t have an eating disorder or that the scrutiny she faces isn’t valid or anything similar to that. As a midsized person who experiences an ongoing eating disorder and body dysmorphia—and who will never experience the same level of fatphobia plus-sized people face—I know that negative inclusions of the word fat are wrong and always have been. A lot of ED’s are already fatphobic in nature, so I understand they need to be talked about with nuance and respect, it is a disorder after all. That’s what a recovery process is for, learning how to work past those feelings. I get that Taylor’s under a microscope all the time, but the way that segment was handled was not nuanced at all. I don’t think the educated discourse is over whether or not Taylor has the right to talk about her ED, but is over the inclusion of the word “fat” on the scale. That’s it. So Swifties can come with their pitchforks like they are defending Taylor against the evil fat people or whatever. But just to remind everyone who has a problem with it: the woman is a full grown adult with more power and money than any of us will ever see, and she can afford to get help for that kind of sickness. Meanwhile, her large hive-minded fan base attacks a group of people who are already oppressed about something that relates to their oppression?? It’s not a hot take to be in defense of a celebrity that is just as prone to making mistakes as her fans are to voice their hatred of the people that oppose her online.

TL;DR: don’t fucking call fat people snowflakes for being upset about literal fatphobia in the Anti Hero Video.

#tw: fatphobia #tw: ed #Taylor swift and her team are capable of being insensitive #they’re capable of making mistakes #I don’t hate her for her experiences #I just think that words have power and that one already has such negative connotations #and Taylor’s fan base is quick to jump down the throats of people who don’t take her word for gospel or whatever #I think that having actual plus sized people’s opinions on this stuff actually would strengthen her experiences #eating disorders are something that attacks every body type so it has nothing to do with that #but if we are gonna esteem the woman for her way with words; then I think she should have thought longer about that one

[afieldinengland]

aren’t you proud of just how well i dealt with it

#actually trying to eat properly today because my body was giving the alarum i haven’t had since winter of first year #i.e. hunger cramps and muscle weakness and fatigue and nausea all spelling out WE ARE STARVING NOW #in big bold size 72 font. heeded. i have no idea if this is a failure or not #disordered eating #but is it really disordered if you can stop and start whenever you like #thinking about my cold cold winter god. and letting even crueller thoughts about myself back into bed

[glittertimes]

As an emo kid I definitely forgot how much of scene / emo fashion really glorified skinner / smaller body types

It was definitely influenced by like pro ana and other harmful mental health / eating disorder / self harm content that was popular online / irl emo spheres. Like all the self deprecating jokes that used to be popular here on tumblr and other platforms. And all the depression blogs that were also everywhere in the 2010s

Everyone talks about how y2k fashion coming back also means the awful body standards of the era will come back, and I’m seeing how those ideas affected subcultures like emo / scene / goth as well!

skinny jeans are the most obvious example of this, but also all those t shirts with different characters on them that were really tight fitting, basically clothes that were designed with thinner bodies in mind. It was also really common for people to wear kids clothing bc most people who wore these styles (or at popular emo YouTubers, bloggers etc.) were all super thin.

I just recalled all of this while searching different online thrift stores for emo clothes and seeing almost everything was size small, extra small etc.

I definitely knew people growing up who were into emo fashion / subcultures growing up who were not stuck thin and had larger body types but if you go and search for this kind of style, you’ll mostly find pictures of really thin people, which I find interesting looking back at all this now as an adult.

#I’m not stick thin but I’m still straight sized so let me know if I’m overstepping or speaking over fat folks #this was just something I noticed and thought I should point out! #I feel like I shouldn’t have to disclaimer this but there’s nothing wrong with being thin #but at the time there was a lot of pressure to be thinner and emo subculture was a space #where a lot of folks struggling with mental health and eating disorders found community and this ‘sad’ ‘sick’ aesthetic was really popular #when you’ve been in the internet long enough to become an internet historian loll #personal