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ncssian · 3 years

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A Favor: Part Twenty-One

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: as someone who is physically incapable of reading fics and other long tumblr posts line by line and word for word, i think it’s so fucking cool that a bunch of you regularly, excitedly read what i post. i would not blame you at all for skim reading. thank you.

***

The majority of Cassian’s life was spent battling with the fact of his own existence. First he was fatherless, then motherless, then homeless. Being taken in by Rhys’s parents, who bought him nice clothes and nicer gifts, was like putting a bandaid over a stab wound. It couldn’t change the questions that made up Cassian at his core: was he equal to everyone else in this world, or had he been born inherently inferior? Did he deserve the same happinesses that his friends so carelessly reaped, or should he step back and know his place?

The older he grew, the more he grappled with those questions—until the night he learned who his father was, and the truth behind his existence. That he was likely a product of rape. Nearly driving himself drunk off a mountainside in Monte Carlo was enough to make him realize with a startling clarity: he couldn’t keep asking himself the same questions for the rest of his life. At some point, he was going to have to buck the fuck up and make his peace with the world, whether he believed he deserved to be in it or not. And though it might have taken him a while to reach that conclusion, Cassian can proudly say he did it. Not long into his post-college years, Cassian finally grew up.

By twenty-seven, he was secure enough in himself and his place in the world to not have to deal with those doubtful voices every waking minute. His life was figured out, and his ego was unshakeable. Until Nesta Archeron entered the story.

Now at twenty-eight, Cassian is again unsecured—this time in a less tragic but more confusing way. Because everything he thinks he knows about himself, about life, she insists on proving wrong.

Including the issue of celebrating his birthday.

“I feel like I should have asked this earlier,” Cassian mutters to Nesta as they stand in the cozy resort lobby, “but why is Az here?”

Nesta looks both humiliated and resigned when she mutters back, “He wouldn’t pay for the resort unless I let him come with us.”

“At that point you should’ve just let me pay, babe.” He watches Azriel’s back as he chats up the lady at the front desk while getting their room keys.

“On your own birthday? It would have ruined the point,” Nesta says.

Cassian doesn’t retort that having his brother present at their couple’s retreat also ruins the point. He’s sure she already knows.

Nesta’s reaction when Cassian told her that he didn’t celebrate his birthday was unforgettable.

“No one in our inner circle really cares about birthdays,” he had shrugged. “Feyre’s birthday is the exception because she’s sort of the outsider, and Rhys will find any excuse to worship at her feet. But the rest of us? I don’t know, it was never a big deal.”

As someone who’s never skipped a birthday once in her life, even when she was isolated and ignoring her family’s phone calls, Nesta took this as a personal offense. “I need to get you out of this cabin,” she stated.

Which brings them here, to Colorado’s finest ski resort situated high in the Rocky Mountains. The lobby is littered with overstuffed armchairs and a crackling fireplace, and huge windows look out over the blinding white mountains.

Az starts heading their way, key cards in hand, when Cassian suddenly turns to Nesta. “We need to find him a woman,” he whispers.

“What?”

“We can’t let him third wheel with us for the whole weekend. We’ll never get time alone.” Cassian is set on this new plan, already scanning the lobby for women around Azriel’s age.

“I agree, but—”

Azriel reaches the two of them, tossing a room card to Nesta. “You can stop talking about me now. I’ll be spending most of my time hitting the slopes.”

Cassian and Nesta mumble a halfhearted, “We weren’t talking about you.”

He narrows his eyes at them. “Uh-huh. Just remember whose credit card this is going on.” Picking up his ski gear and duffel bag, he turns for the elevator.

Nesta frowns up at Cassian once Az is gone, more adorably than she probably intends. “Do you think he’s upset?”

He scoffs. “We should be upset at him.” He doesn’t want to have to worry about his brother while he’s on vacation, and Az definitely wouldn’t want him to worry either, but it isn’t something that can be helped.

Despite his irritation, he might go skiing with Az later this afternoon. Just to keep him company.

***

Nesta will give it to Azriel—he’s a man of fine taste, and also generous with his spending. She originally wanted a normal room for her and Cassian, preferably the cheapest one, but Az went behind her back and upgraded them to a fully decked out penthouse suite.

“This is too much for just a weekend,” she tells him over the phone while Cassian is in the bathroom. “How am I supposed to pay you back for this?”

“Why would you pay me back?” he says dismissively. “I’m rich.”

When Nesta tries arguing with him, he only replies, “I don’t take money from poor people,” and hangs up on her.

Which leaves Nesta to enjoy the four-spray shower and heated bathroom tiles free of charge. By the time she comes out of the shower, Cassian has already left with Azriel to hit some slopes before dinner, though not before leaving her a note promising to teach her how to ski tomorrow.

Nesta doesn’t even get to unwrap her towel from her body before realizing her phone is ringing incessantly, all the way from the other side of the suite. Jogging over to the living area, Nesta answers Emerie’s call. “What’s up?”

“Where are you?” Emerie greets without introduction.

“At the ski lodge?” Nesta answers, confused. “I already told you, for Cassian’s birthday.”

“I know that,” Emerie hisses. “I mean what room are you in? This place is huge.”

“Wait—you’re here?” Nesta looks quickly around herself, as if Emerie will pop up from behind the couch.

“Not just me. So is Gwyn.” Nesta hears rustling on the other side of the line, and then Emerie saying from a distance, “Answer for your crimes, Gwyneth. Say hi.”

A new, clearer voice comes over the phone. “Hiii, Nesta.” Gwyn sounds weak, like she is not having fun at all.

“What the hell do you two think you’re doing?” Nesta demands.

“Well, it’s a long story and I need to see you first. Also, I have to pee. Where is your room?”

Five minutes later, Gwyn and Emerie are sitting obediently before the roaring fireplace in Nesta and Cassian’s suite.

Now fully dressed, Nesta stabs a finger at Emerie. “Explain.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Emerie says indignantly. “Gwyn barged into my place at eight in the morning and dragged me all the way here—”

“It was an emergency!” Gwyn tosses her hands in the air. “It still is an emergency. That’s why we’re here.”

“I’m here because Gwyn is scared of traveling alone,” Emerie interjects. “And driving on highways.”

“Guys!” Nesta snaps.

Gwyn makes a whining sound of defeat and drops her head into her hands. After a long moment, she speaks. “He asked if we could go to dinner together. Like, right to my face. And I panicked and said yes, because I couldn’t think of a reason to say no, but obviously I can’t do that. So this morning I cashed in my sick days and told him I was going on vacation for a whole week.” Gwyn looks up at Nesta with pleading teal eyes. “Please can we stay here the whole week?”

Nesta stares at Gwyn, feeling like her brain was just sucked dry. “First of all, who’s ‘he’?”

“Max!” She stands in her outburst. “The love of my life. The man who works on the fourth floor of the library. Do you pay attention to the groupchat at all?”

Oh yeah, that guy. “You came all the way here,” Nesta drawls out slowly, “so you wouldn’t have to have dinner with your crush?”

“It wasn’t just any dinner.” Gwyn flops back onto the couch. “It was a date. I can’t go on a date with him. First dates lead to second dates, and second dates lead to—sex.” She whispers the last word.

“Really?” Emerie frowns, not missing a beat at the mention of Gwyn’s deepest fear. “What kind of dates have you been having?”

“I haven’t been having any dates,” Gwyn says. “Why, how long do you usually see someone before doing it?”

“First date, at most,” Emerie shrugs.

“No,” Nesta steps in, sending Emerie a bewildered look. “Gwyn, you’ve known this guy for a while now. If he’s half as decent as you think he is, he won’t expect sex by the second date. And even if he does—”

“What does it matter?” Gwyn wails. “It’ll come up eventually. And when it does, he’ll think I’m a freak.”

“He won’t get a chance to think anything before I kill him,” Emerie says, eyes darkening.

Nesta says nothing, knowing this is something she can’t advise Gwyn about. Whether or not Gwyn chooses to share her past and unresolved trauma with another man, and whether or not that man reacts in an unshitty way isn’t something Nesta can determine. So she just states for the record, “You’re not a freak.”

“But it’s what he’ll think.”

“Then you shouldn’t be with him in the first place,” Nesta says firmly. Even though she knows better than anyone that it isn’t always that simple.

Proving her point, Gwyn scoffs and looks away. “You don’t get it.”

“What I really don’t get,” Nesta says, “is why you took your lie so literally. Why did you come all the way out here instead of hiding out at home for the week?”

“Merrill sees and knows everything. I can’t lie to her.” Gwyn cringes. “If I stayed at home, she would sniff me out as soon as she got me on the phone, and then I’d really be screwed.”

Nesta cocks her head at Gwyn, squinting her eyes in something akin to fascination.

“I had the same reaction,” Emerie pipes up. She shakes her head at Gwyn. “I’ve never met a more melodramatic idiot, truly.”

Gwyn curls into herself on the couch, looking ashamed.

Nesta sighs sharply, then whips out a hand. “Give me your wallets. I’ll go downstairs right now and see if I can book a room last minute.”

Emerie sits up at that. “Uh… I’m not sure I can afford a place like this.”

“Neither can I,” Nesta says. “That’s why Azriel paid for all of us.”

Gwyn’s eyes go comically round. “Azriel’s here?”

“Unfortunately.” She snaps her fingers at both girls. “Credit or debit, now.”

“So… I’m assuming we can’t just share this huge suite with you guys, huh?” Gwyn says hesitantly.

There might be actual flames in Nesta’s eyes. This is Cassian’s birthday, goddammit. Cassian, who hasn’t celebrated a birthday since he was eleven. “Please don’t push me.”

Gwyn and Emerie, very reluctantly, hand their cards over to Nesta. Emerie hands over two, just in case.

In the end, Nesta doesn’t use any of their money, but charges the new room to her own account. She’ll work it off by putting extra hours into Night Court, she tells herself.

When she returns to the penthouse suite, she spies tracks outlined in melted snow at the doorway. Shit. She barges inside to find Cassian and Azriel standing in the middle of the living area, with Emerie looking awkward on the couch.

“Uh, we just got back—” Cassian starts.

“I can explain,” Nesta interrupts.

A faucet turns off in the distance, and Gwyn peeks her head out of the bathroom door.

“Oh, shit,” Azriel says in delight. “Freckles is here too?”

Gwyn looks like she’s about to turn right back around to the bathroom. Nesta and Cassian both throw Az a baffled look, but Nesta says, “I can fix this. I’ve already fixed it.” She goes over to Emerie and hands her a key card. “You and Gwyn are going to stay on the first floor, and you won’t bother me or Cassian for the duration of our stay. It’ll be like you’re not even here.” She whips toward Gwyn, who still hovers near the bathroom doorway. “And at the end of this weekend, you’re going back to work like the adult you are and taking care of your shit.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Gwyn says quietly, lowering her head.

Cassian comes over to Nesta, whispering, “So, you didn’t invite them to keep Az company or anything, right?”

“I can hear you,” Azriel says.

“Of course not,” Nesta whispers back. “That’s a terrible idea.”

“Really? Because I thought it was kind of convenient—”

“I can still hear you,” Az repeats.

“So can I,” Emerie nods.

“Shut up,” Nesta hisses at the both of them. Grabbing Cassian’s still-gloved hand, she drags him upstairs and away to their bedroom. When the door shuts behind them, she turns to him and blurts, “I’m so sorry.”

Cassian only laughs, taking his ski jacket off and brushing away the wet snow from the back. “I’m not.” He tosses his jacket and gloves over a chair and approaches Nesta, tugging her closer by her oversized turtleneck. “And what did I tell you about wasting your apologies?”

Nesta doesn’t care. “I ruined your birthday.”

“My birthday’s not until tomorrow,” he says with a straight face. “But honestly, I like this a lot more than just you, me, and Az. At least he can’t third wheel anymore, right?”

She shakes her head insistently, frustration boiling in her blood. “Everything’s going wrong.”

“But you solved our problems.” He finds Nesta’s clenched fists and unfurls them with gentle hands. “You got the girls their own room, and now Az can be distracted with those two. We can still be alone. We win.”

Nesta purses her lips, unconvinced, when Cassian adds, “But seriously, though—what the fuck are they doing here?”

She exhales deeply, letting her head drop forward onto Cassian’s chest. “I don’t know,” she mutters. “Gwyn panicked about some personal stuff and thought it was a good idea to come to me. I don’t want to make her leave, though.” Gwyn is being stupid right now, without a doubt, but Nesta won’t abandon her. Neither will Emerie.

God, having friends sucks.

Cassian threads a hand through her loose hair and hums. “Gwyn was smart for coming to you.”

***

Dinner is held outside in the snow and cold, but everyone bundles up and sits down at a table that surrounds one of the multiple fire pits in the courtyard. Cassian convinced Nesta to let Gwyn and Emerie hang out with them for the weekend, because what else are those poor girls supposed to do, and now the women babble over each other as they decide what to drink.

Cassian sits back and takes it in, the sight feeling heartwarmingly familiar and strangely brand new at the same time. Nesta ends up being the one to order everybody’s drinks, and once the waiter scampers back inside, Gwyn releases a terse breath. “Sometimes I still get scared of that tone.”

“I’m always scared of it,” Az mutters, eyeing Nesta from the corner of his eye.

“What tone?” Cassian laughs. He knows Nesta is still a little wound up from her plans going off the rails, but she hasn’t done anything scary.

“I’m used to it,” Emerie says through a mouthful of fries, “but I think that waiter almost cried.”

“That’s how I sound all the time.” Nesta shrugs, sitting back.

“What tone?” Cassian repeats.

Nesta clicks her tongue impatiently. “You know how I talk. I’m straightforward.”

“And harsh,” Azriel adds. “Even aggressive.”

“Watch it.” Gwyn turns stern eyes onto him over the fire pit.

“I have no idea what you all are talking about,” Cassian says. He turns to Nesta. “You sound perfectly normal to me.”

She narrows her perfect brows at him, and Emerie laughs, “I don’t know if that’s romantic or ignorant.”

But now that they’re discussing it, Cassian does distinctly remember Nesta having a sharp edge to her words while they were getting to know each other. Did it disappear over time, or has he really stopped noticing it?

He doesn’t get to think about it before their drinks arrive, followed soon by a dinner of fancy sandwiches.

Cassian cuts his beef sandwich in half and gives the other half to Nesta, and she does the same with her turkey sandwich. They eat and drink around the crackling fire, laughing and talking about tomorrow’s plans (“It’s not your birthday, Azriel,” Nesta says. “Stop asking about gifts.”). Cassian and Emerie talk idly about video games over wine, and even though it isn’t really his thing, he can see her excitement over it and gladly indulges it.

Once everyone is finished eating and is slightly drunk, Gwyn pulls a small sleeve of crackers out of her puffy jacket, followed by a fun-sized Hershey’s bar and a handful of mini marshmallows.

“What are you doing?” Nesta says.

“Making dessert.” Gwyn builds a mini s’more and places it carefully on her fork so she can toast it over the fire pit. When it’s done, she leans forward even more to try to put it on Nesta’s plate. “For you. Thank you for letting me and Emerie stay.”

Nesta jumps, catching the s’more with her plate and batting Gwyn away from the fire pit at the same time. “You’ll set your hair on fire,” she hisses.

Gwyn’s hair remains safe, but now Cassian catches his brother watching Gwyn amusedly from the corner of his eye. “Can I have one?” Az says.

“I’m all out.” Gwyn says while building another s’more, refusing to meet his eyes.

Cassian and Nesta share a look, a hundred words thrown back and forth between them in that glance. She scoots her chair closer to him to slip her cold hands into his warm ones, but while the conversation carries on around the table, she leans in and whispers, “I’m not a busybody but…”

“I am,” he whispers back. “Az is being weird, weirder than usual.”

Nesta nods. “I’ve never seen him so—outgoing.”

Neither has Cassian, but before he can mention anything else, he looks up to find that Gwyn and Azriel’s seats at the table are empty. “How much did those two drink?” he breathes.

Nesta follows his gaze, seeing what he’s seeing: Azriel and Gwyn wandering clumsily around the snowy courtyard. Or rather, Az is trying to chase Gwyn down for a s’more, while she clutches her mini marshmallows to her chest and vehemently yells, “They’re mine!”

Meanwhile, Emerie is half asleep at the table.

Cassian watches as Gwyn nears the towering fir tree at the center of the courtyard and slips. Az shoots out a hand to catch her, but not before her ass hits the stone, hard. He pulls her back up, no longer fooling around, and Gwyn rubs her butt in pain.

Cassian suddenly feels Nesta squeezing the life out of his hands, and he looks over to find fury written across her face. For a heartbeat, he feels worried for Az.

“Go deal with him,” Nesta says lowly. “Before I do.”

Not needing any more words to understand, he stands out of his seat and heads out into the courtyard. He doesn’t know why Nesta thinks Gwyn needs protecting, but it makes him feel protective himself. Approaching the duo, he sees that Azriel finally acquired the leftover s’more ingredients from Gwyn.

“There’s only like half a cracker left,” Az mutters to himself, shaking the baggie.

“Is he bothering you?” Cassian asks Gwyn, who still looks grumpy over losing their skirmish.

Whipping her head to Cassian like he’s her savior, Gwyn nods furiously. “Please make him stop.”

Cassian turns to Azriel with rage in his eyes, a clear What the fuck do you think you’re doing?

But Az shakes his head in denial. “It’s not like that. Look, she’s smirking at me!” He points over Cassian’s shoulder.

When Cassian looks, Gwyn is already walking back to the fire pit, holding her bruised ass.

Az starts, “What a fake little—”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Cassian interrupts. “Yesterday you’re crying over Elain and today you’re flirting with Nesta’s friend?”

Azriel goes serious, his face turning colder than the night air. “How do you know about Elain?” he says gruffly.

“Everyone knows, Azriel.” Cassian stares down his brother, wondering if he’ll finally get him to get his head screwed on straight after these past weeks of secretive bullshit.

Azriel sets his jaw, but a muscle there ticks.

“Will you finally at least tell me what’s going on in your head?” Cassian pleads. “Because I can’t keep guessing.”

Azriel glances toward the dinner table, as if checking to see that no one is paying attention to them. Looking back, he inhales a breath. “You want to know why I left Velaris?”

Like Nesta, Azriel is not one to quickly make himself vulnerable. So there’s no blatant emotion in his voice when he says, “I started seeing her at the end of summer, not long after she broke up with her ex. And it was so…nice after every other relationship I’ve been in has gone wrong. We kept it quiet, and because of that, it was peaceful.” Azriel’s eyes meet Cassian’s twin ones, and he smirks without humor. “But you already know what that’s like, don’t you?”

He does. Cassian crosses his arms, waiting for Az to continue.

“Anyway, we had a good run. For a long time, it was mostly just sex, but I liked her. I liked her a lot.” Az kicks at the snow-dusted cobblestones. “Then Christmas came around, and Rhys found out.” His face darkens as he remembers, and Cassian stiffens, knowing what’s next isn’t good. Sometimes Rhys forgets the boundary between boss and brother.

“He didn’t say anything about it to Elain, of course,” Azriel says. “But he dragged my ass aside and gave me this huge lecture about us using each other as rebounds. Said ‘Feyre’s sister’ deserves better or some shit. I told him there was more to it than that, but he wouldn’t listen. Instead he brought Vanserra & Co. into it, like his business matters had anything to do with me and Elain.” Azriel’s eyes crinkle at the corners in a puzzled way. “So I got to thinking, ‘why would he bring the Vanserras up?’ He made it seem like such a big deal.” The toe of his boot digs a hole into the ground.

Sympathy churns alongside anger in Cassian’s chest for Azriel’s situation, anger at Rhysand for crossing that line between brothers. He’s only momentarily grateful that Rhys never tried doing something similar to him and Nesta.

“I thought she was over that other guy, Lucien,” Az continues. “But maybe she’s not, if Rhys is so concerned about what Lucien’s stepfather thinks. Anyway, that’s why I ran. Because I knew she liked me, but I also knew she didn’t love me. I didn’t want us to cause all that trouble with Rhys just to end up backed into a corner one day, having nowhere else to go because she loves someone else and I’m just a rebound. It would be awkward for everyone involved.” He scratches the back of his neck. “It’s mostly my fault, for always chasing after women I can’t have.” He finally looks up at Cassian. “When you talk to Elain, does it sound like she hates me?” The question is quiet, straightforward.

“No,” Cassian answers, voice rough. Even if Azriel wants to hide his feelings, Cassian won’t. “She doesn’t seem like she hates you. I don’t even think she’s mad at you.” Concerned, anxious, upset—that’s Elain as far as he knows.

“She should hate me,” Azriel says. “She should get pissed, burn my old clothes, and swear to never talk to me again. That’s the only way she can move on.” Maybe even move back to Lucien, is what goes unsaid.

Cassian isn’t so sure about that. Even as he feels for Az, he thinks both of his brothers should get slapped upside the head for how they’ve been acting lately. He won’t be the one to do it, but he might get Nesta to relay a message to Elain. It’ll be the same thing. “I’m sorry,” he tells Az instead. “I know I’ve been hard on you lately. When we get home, I’ll start doing better.” He claps Az on the shoulder and squeezes.

Azriel surprises him by scoffing, looking away in disbelief. “Wow, being compassionate is really a full time job for you, huh?” He claps Cassian’s shoulder back, pulling him into a sudden hug. “You’ve already done more than enough,” he says into Cassian’s ear. “Go to your girlfriend and take a rest.”

Taken aback, Cassian nods and pulls away. He’s about to turn around and leave when Az says, “By the way, I wasn’t flirting with Gwyn.”

Cassian raises a brow. “You were definitely doing something.”

Az rolls his eyes. “I’m not giving her anything she can’t handle. But in case you haven’t noticed, I have no interest in other women right now.” He makes a face. “Especially not her.”

Cassian chuckles. “I believe you. It’s Nesta you need to worry about.”

“Whatever. I’m not scared of her.”

That makes Cassian laugh even harder, but he turns around, ready to go back to said girlfriend. As he nears the fire pit, though, he finds that Gwyn is already there and cuddled up to Nesta. On Nesta’s other side, Emerie now sits in Cassian’s chair, asleep on her friend’s shoulder. He stops in his tracks.

Cassian wasn’t lying when he told Nesta that he was happy about their changed vacation plans—he believes the more the merrier, and he loves these people. Yet he can’t help but wish the two of them could be alone for just one day. Only one.

God, sometimes having friends sucks.

***

a/n: this is a two parter so next chapter we’ll finally be getting more nessian alone time

tagging: @hellasblessed @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @wannawriteyouabook @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson @planet-faerie @shallowhighwaters @ghostlyrose2 @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens @rarephloxes @readiajin @nessiantrashh @live-the-fangirl-life @ifinallygavein @xoblivisci @sjmships @jungtaekwoonie-is-life @lysandra-tiara @lanyjoy-13 @frosted-crackers @post-it-notes33 @loosingdreams @fromthelibraryofemilyj @18moneytoad @dontgetsalmonella @champanheandluxxury @togreblog @arinbelle @ladygabrielli1997 @meridainthedisneyland

#ncssianwrites #a favor #nesta archeron #nessian #cassian #nessian fanfic #nessian au

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nikethestatue · 3 years

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To be honest, I find really problematic how sjm writes the Illyrians. It's clear that she writes problematic things without even notice they are problematic, and people who chooses to demonize azriel or whoever instead of calling her out is not better than her. She's been writing the Illyrians like that since always and it only matters now because of shipping discourse. They aren't fooling me. Like, Azriel is a freak who's capable of keeping a woman as hostage because he desires her and Gwyn's true love at the same time. Pick a struggle.

Hi,

So the whole 'Azriel is a toxic weirdo' was never a thing. Most people either considered him a quiet hottie with a large penis, or didn't pay much attention to him, because he is kind of a quiet character, torturing people in the background and brooding.

Then the POV came about and in order to pair him with Gwyn, people stared writing how he was so 'possessive' of Elain and 'treated her like a sex toy' and had 'no feelings for her'. Blah, blah. Gwyn is mate/true love/therapist.

Then, a specific Elucien accounts added to that, and decided to make him entirely toxic, not appropriate for anyone, but certainly not for Elain, since she belongs to Lucien and must make him happy.

Gwynnies are now in a pickle, because do they ship a horribly possessive, deranged, unhinged man with their fave? That's not very sexy! Or do they say that he is only 'toxic enough' but with Gwyn's amazing therapeutic abilities he will become as boring and as tame as a fixed house cat?

Now, they've made this bed that they all have to sleep in together--the bed of Azriel's supposed toxicity. So now we just get to marvel at an extra dose of mental gymnastic that they go through. 'Well...he needs time to reflect on his behaviour! He can be healed with the right care...' Blah, blah. Honestly, it's kind of entertaining to watch and read.

As for the Illyrians--I think we can all agree that the worldbuilding of ACOTAR generally sucks. It's extremely underdeveloped, it makes no logical sense, and SJM spent about 5 minutes thinking about all these Courts and people, and it shows. I mean, just an example--both Azriel and Cassian got their wings shredded to bits, yet, in a month, by the time Feyre comes back from Spring Court, their wings are brand new. Yet nothing could be done for a clipped woman? Or these High Lords can bring people back to life, yet they can't figure out how to deliver a winged baby? Or ALL Illyrians suck? Except for Cassian and Emerie?

I agree, I dont like the portrayal of Illyrians, because it makes no sense--even historically. Why are they the way they are? Why are they so wild and brutish and uncultured? Why hasn't any of the HL of the NC done anything about that? Like, does Rhys pay them for their services, if they fight for him? When there are no wars, what do they do? Fine, they train, but they have no industries? No trade? No commerce? These big wars happen every 500 years--that's a long time. What do they do in between? What were they doing when Rhys was UTM? Why would they kiss a ton of their own youths, who've been training for 27 years to fight, during the BR?

I can go on and on. But that's what happens when a writer just want to write THE story that's in their mind and doesn't think through any of the details. Comparatively, TOG and even CC are much more developed.

And I do hope that SJM does something positive with the Illyrians eventually. Maybe Emerie and Cassian and a grown up Nyx can bring some positive changes to that society.

#azriel #pro az #pro azriel #asks #anon ask #anon response #turned out a bit of a rant

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offtopicoverload · 4 years

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Disney Princess

This turned into way more than the single ficlet I started with and I already have a ton of other chapters started and planned. They'll definitely be going up on Ao3, but I'm not sure about tumblr. Lemme know if you'd rather have them posted here too, I’ll do whatever lmao

Aurora had a plan. She’s always had a plan - for chores, for school, for her career. She’s had a plan for everything, every single detail of her future and every single detail of her life, from who she’ll work for to what street she’ll live on in ten years. She’s always had a plan, and it never once included Rylen Damen, the hurricane that’s blown into her life and destroyed every single one of those carefully crafted plans.

Chapter 2

Aurora x MC (Rylen Damen (changed it lol))

~4k

Read on Ao3

Aurora Emery is running.

She doesn’t know where she’s going, or why she needs to go there, but she knows she can’t stay where she is. She knows she can’t seek refuge in her aunt’s office, she can’t look for comfort in the other interns, or even the residents and attendings, she can’t distract herself by caring for her patients anymore. She needs to run and hide and forget the world until it gives up and forgets her, too.

She spots a supply closet down the hall and runs straight for it, throwing the door open and shoving it closed. She steps further inside, tears suddenly springing from her eyes as her throat tightens, raw and awful. She drops against the opposite wall to the door, her knees pressing against her chest as she splinters in some random supply closet, alone and ignored by the world.

She shouldn't be surprised at this point, it's not new, it's not strange. This isn't even the first time she's cried inside the walls of Edenbrook, only now it's so much more, now it's unstoppable and debilitating as she cries into her scrubs, her body shaking with each rasping breath and each sob as she just crumbles, falling apart as the rest of the hospital carries on without her, not even sparing a second thought for someone so irrelevant to them.

The door creaks open, Aurora’s eyes flying up to meet a curious gaze, “H-Hey!” she sniffs, wiping her sleeve under her running nose. “Get out!” she glares at the figure, even as she’s slumped on the floor beside shelves of toiletries with mascara pouring down the length of her face in dark streams.

“Aurora?” the figure whispers, stepping inside the cramped closet and closing the door as their footsteps draw them closer to a teary Aurora.

“Go on, then. Say it,” she spits through tears, her voice cracking under the weight of her sobs and hurt. Cleaving under the pressure of everything she’s ever wanted to say but held back and fracturing from the size of everything she’s never wanted to say but forced from her throat anyway.

The figure drops before her, setting a stack of charts they were carrying a foot or so away, their eyes surprisingly earnest and concerned as they gaze into Aurora's, “Say… what?”

Aurora sniffles again, wiping at the tears under her eyes now, “What you and everyone else have always wanted to say!” she accuses harshly. “That I’m only here because of my name! That I don’t deserve my spot!” she chokes on the last words, as if they could physically hurt her to release them, and they almost do.

“Are you okay?” a stupidly kind and soft and concerned voice asks from above her, a hand landing on Aurora’s shoulder and squeezing comfortingly.

She jerks away from the touch, “Do I look like I’m okay? I’m crying in a freaking supply closet!”

“Okay…” The figure sits beside her, staring ahead and nodding absentmindedly, “What happened to make you cry in a closet?”

Aurora scoffs, “Everything,” her voice falling away with the words. “I’m just so goddamn tired,” it comes out as only a whisper, her eyes focusing on her knee as a finger traces a circle on her shin.

“Of what?”

“Everything!” she repeats, fire back inside of her at having to repeat herself. She shouldn't be having this conversation, this entire thing is ridiculous. Why are they even bothering with her? God, this is insane.

“Well, let’s start with one thing," they begin. "What’s been bugging you the most? What made you come in here?”

“My aunt?” she shrugs with a frown, swallowing thickly before speaking again, “I thought she’d lay off while she was busy with your hearing… but she’s pushing me even harder,” she confesses reluctantly, still feeling ridiculous.

“Pushing you? What do you mean?”

She sighs, “I know you all think I have an easy ride here because of her… but you have no idea how much she expects of me.”

“Because of your family name?” the figure turns, looking to Aurora curiously, as if the makeup streaked across her features isn't even there, as if they're having the most casual of conversations, as if they're sitting in the cafeteria discussing movies or something equally trivial.

“Sure, that,” she shrugs. “And also the fact that she hates being an administrator. Sometimes it feels like she’s trying to live through me because she doesn’t get to practice anymore.” Her arms tighten around her legs, chin landing on her knee, “She makes Zaid and Ines set me the most complicated cases, and then she calls me to her office to talk about them for hours and hours.”

“So she gives you the answers?”

“No!” she turns, glaring furiously, “She just grills me until I find them. And then when I finally get a second to myself, away from her or the patients, I get flocked by those… those leeches,” she grimaces, “It’s like med school all over again.”

Aurora used to enjoy her classes when she was younger, she loved science in high school and most of her undergrad courses. But that stopped when she reached med school. Itwas awful for her, even if she loved her classes, it wasn't enough, it just became draining, the only escape from everything that dragged her down outside of those halls.

She had no real friends, she had no allies, she had no one to trust. Everyone wanted to partner with her because they thought she was a genius, everyone wanted to impress her or bribe her into letting them meet her aunt, everyone wanted to get close to her just for the career boost. And she hated how easily she used to fall for it, how many people she thought she was genuine, close friends with just for them to abandon her when she couldn’t introduce them to whatever famous doctor they idolized. She hated how alone and broken she always felt as they walked away, as she retreated to her dorm to cry and break down, just like she’s doing right now, after all this time.

Tears well in her eyes again, slowly sliding down her cheeks as they escape and muddy with her mascara, “You have no idea what it’s like knowing that everyone who talks to you or tries to be your friend is just doing it to get in with your family.”

An arm wraps around her back, pulling her into the figure’s side gently, “I had no idea you were having such a hard time. I’m sorry,” the tone is sincere, the words precious as they hit Aurora’s ears.

But she’s not falling for this again, she's not letting someone in just for them to hate her when she's not enough, just to abandon her when she can't give them what they want, just to leave her crying and lonely like everyone else has. “Like you care,” she scoffs, pulling back from the arm around her.

But that arm still stays, lighter now, “I do. I care about you and what you’re going through. I’ve never once cared that you’re an Emery, I care that you’re Aurora, and you could have let me tell you that before. But you were a jerk to me from day one. I wasn’t trying to get in with you because of your name. I didn’t even know who your aunt was, but it wouldn’t have mattered anyway,” the figure tries, a thumb brushing Aurora's side absentmindedly, sending jolts of electricity through her entire body.

“What, did you learn medicine in the woods or something?” Aurora scoffs once more, rolling her eyes as that arm tightens around her back again.

“That’s what Jackie said,” the tone’s lighter, almost humorous as it falls from the figure sitting beside her. Before a breath is sucked in, evaporating the humor and the lightness, “Look, I think you’ve been burned by people using you so much that you’ve stopped giving people the benefit of the doubt. I get it," a shrug, "You don’t want to trust people. But if you never give yourself a chance to be wrong… you’ll never be right either.”

Aurora falls silent, a hand circling her back comfortingly as she stares into the darkness of the supply closet, the shelves of cleaning supplies and toiletries. “You don’t have to be alone, Aurora.”

And then she cracks and crumbles, falling apart at that one word, that stupid, awful word that’s haunted her for years, that left her cold and exhausted of everything, that stabbed her in the heart for even daring to have one. The tears fall faster than before, waterfalls flooding her skin as they drip from her chin and sobs shake her once again, a familiar sensation after all these years of being truly, hopelessly, despairingly alone.

Arms wrap around her, pulling her against the figure, and as soon as they do, she falls apart even more. She shatters into thousands of pieces knowing that this is the unfamiliar component in this entire ordeal, that something as simple as comfort has eluded her for who knows how long. Something as simple as concern or caring or whatever motivation the person she’s sobbing against has is entirely foreign to her now.

This isn’t how things were supposed to go, this is nowhere near how things were supposed to go. Aurora was supposed to be her own person without her aunt’s shadow, to dominate the other interns and win the spot on the diagnostics team, to prove herself as an amazing doctor, with or without her last name. She was supposed to be level headed and calm, confident and capable, the best of the best. She was supposed to be perfect, to be everything her aunt wasn’t, to be better. And she certainly wasn’t supposed to be crying into the shoulder of one Rylen Damen in a dimly lit supply closet when she should be tending to her patients, helping the people relying on her to tell them what’s wrong, how to fix it.

But she doesn’t even care to fight anymore. She doesn’t care that she’s not enough, that she’s not the best, that she’s still under her aunt’s debilitating shadow. She doesn’t feel like working harder than anyone to prove herself or destroy her competition, doesn’t feel like pushing herself to her breaking point, doesn’t feel like fending for herself anymore as she falls apart beyond repair, not when Rylen’s being so… so… so Rylen.

Which is such a ridiculous thing to think, that someone’s simply being themself, simply behaving as they would any other day, simply doing what comes naturally to them. But that doesn’t change how true it is, how perfect and amazing it is, and how much Aurora never wants it to end, never wants any of this to stop, never wants to walk away from this damned supply closet just to start drowning in everything that drives her mad again.

She never wants this to end, she never wants Rylen to stop tracing her spine so lightly and comfortingly, she never wants Rylen to stop whispering into her hair with a tone that’s so kind and soft, and she never wants Rylen to stop hugging her so. Incredibly. Perfectly. Tight.

But of course, she does. She does stop trailing her hand along Aurora’s back in that light and comforting manner, she does stop murmuring reassurances and promises that everything’s okay and fine in that sweet and caring voice, and she does stop hugging Aurora so. Incredibly. Perfectly. Tight. She pulls back gently, careful not to shatter the fragile Aurora splitting and fracturing in her arms as she carefully meets her eyes, still so soft and perfect. She cups her cheeks, her palms barely resting on the skin beneath them as heat radiates from her, warming Aurora in the chill of the closet, “You gonna be okay?”

Aurora sniffles, forcing a stiff nod as she carefully lifts her hands from their crumpled position in her lap to wipe away the tears falling down her cheeks. Except Rylen beats her to it, her thumbs wiping away the streams under Aurora’s dark and watery eyes, and it’s so tender and sweet and precious and warm and perfect that Aurora can feel herself splintering again, cracking under the caring, concerned gaze resting on her. She sucks in a shaky breath, willing herself to be strong again, to be able to handle this.

Because she can handle anything and everything, she always has, from med school and her cold and lonely dorm to the judgmental stares and constant, hauntingly empty space beside her as she roams Edenbrook. She’s always handled it, she’s never fallen apart so terribly as much as she is now. She's never fallen apart in someone’s arms in the oddly perfect way she is now. She's never felt so vulnerable and so safe at the same time like she does now, in the fourth floor supply closet, shelves of cleaning supplies and products stacked around her.

“Are you ready to head out? Or do you need another minute?” Her voice is so low, so gentle and unbelievable as it spills from her lips, honey dripping down her chin, golden and flowing as it coats Aurora from head to toe, a warm blanket wrapped around her shoulders.

Aurora averts her gaze, turning to her folded hands in her lap as Rylen’s thumbs ghost across her cheeks, a steady, stable rhythm to match her breathing to, “I’m sorry about… this,” she mumbles, insecurity alighting the blanket, turning the fabric to ash along her shoulders. “You shouldn’t have to be here wasting your time.”

Rylen’s head dips down, working to catch Aurora’s teary gaze in her own, “Making sure you’re okay isn’t a waste, Aurora,” she hums, low in her throat as her palms slip to Aurora’s jaw, nudging her gaze upwards.

“Yeah, it is,” she rolls her eyes with a frown. “There’s people dying, Rylen,” she meets her eyes, jaw set tight.

“And you’ll be one of them if you don’t take care of yourself and take a break when you need it,” Rylen holds her gaze, serious and stern, pleading for her words to take hold as her hands fall from Aurora's face, a chill replacing their warmth.

“I don’t need a break,” she insists, regardless of what just occurred.

“We’re sitting on the floor of a supply closet and your eyes are red,” Rylen’s eyebrows raise, a knowing smile on her face that Aurora wants to wipe off. “You’re allowed to take a minute when you need to, Aurora, I’m serious.”

Aurora frowns, “I’m not about to make a habit of breaking down in closets.”

“Good,” Rylen grins, raising a fist and tapping Aurora’s chin playfully with her knuckles, “Because you’re too talented to waste your energy on being upset.”

Aurora’s eyes roll, her frown only deepening, “Why are you mocking me now? Was seeing me cry not enough?” she accuses coldly, her arms crossing over her chest protectively.

“Aurora,” her tone is serious. “You’re literally a Disney princess, of course you’re amazing.”

Her cheeks flush dark, her eyes desperately darting around to avoid Rylen’s, searching for an escape or distraction to quell the heat in her cheeks that really shouldn’t be there. It's a compliment, but a different one from what she's used to. This is absolutely absurd, there is not one discernible reason for her to be blushing or embarrassed or whatever is happening as she coughs awkwardly.

“Now come on,” Rylen jumps to her feet, offering her hands and wiggling her fingers to Aurora teasingly. “You need to forget about this rank closet and go help some people,” she grins that grin that used to make Aurora want to vomit, but for reasons she may never know, now sends an electric jolt through her as it’s directed at her for once.

She takes the hands stretched out to her, gripping the soft and warm palms beneath her own as Rylen jerks her upwards, stopping just a few tiny, tiny inches from that smiling face. She sucks in a sharp breath, taking a step back and putting distance between them, brushing off her coat just to occupy her hands and mind.

Rylen picks up the few charts she dropped when she entered and passes them to Aurora without a word. She crosses to the door, pulling it open and bowing, her arm outstretched as she gestures for Aurora to exit. “Your Highness,” she teases, glancing up to wiggle her eyebrows at an annoyed Aurora.

She rolls her eyes, exiting quickly and making a beeline for the bathroom to clean up, dropping her new charts on the sink as she wipes away her makeup, fixes her hair, and kills a few moments until her eyes look less red. She takes a deep breath, grabs her charts, and heads out to meet her new patients, whoever they may be.

She cycles through them, introducing herself, familiarizing herself with their cases, running tests or receiving results for ones Rylen’s already ordered. And on top of that, she has her previous patients to tend to as well, some of which are cases she’s stumped on or waiting to see if her hunch is correct. And all of them are absolutely draining, absolutely exhausting as she stands with a plastered-on smile and cycles through an explanation of a diagnosis or a treatment plan or an invasive test.

She exits another patient room, stopping at a nurses station to receive some results and order another exam, and finally, finally empties her hands of paperwork and charts and results and orders and countless other items that drive her insane. And finally, finally she can stop, can collect her head, can rest and prepare herself for her next shift that consists of the exact same procedures and routines.

She sways, exhaust fogging her mind as she trudges through the halls of Edenbrook towards the on-call room. She’s been staying there as much as she can lately, not wanting to risk encountering her aunt and all of her lectures any more than necessary. She pulls the door open, crosses to the opposite side of the room, and collapses on a bed, staring upwards blankly.

She doesn’t want to move or think or even breathe at this point, she’s too tired and sore, both physically and mentally, as she blinks slowly. But she forces her muscles to work, her arm to take out her phone from her pocket, and her fingers to tap at the screen, setting an alarm and scrolling through notifications. She stops on a text from an unknown number, opening the notification and reading, ‘Good luck.’

Aurora frowns at the light glowing from the screen, the gray text bubble of her correspondent, the monotone, unfeeling dots and lines making up the letters of the message, and especially the name signed at the bottom, beneath those odd words, a name that should not have her number: ‘-Rylen.’

She drops her phone to her side, turning away from it to face the wall, curling up tight and staring into space until her exhaustion begins to wear on her consciousness, a few thoughts swirling as her eyes flutter shut, her folded arm slipping beneath her head as a makeshift pillow as she sinks into the cot beneath her.

Somehow, her thoughts start slowly circling to Rylen, as strange as it is. They’re of that dumb smile she gave Aurora as she held the door to the supply closet open, they’re of the mascara stains on her shirt as she walked down the hallway, they’re of the steadiness in her voice as she stepped into the closet, that steadiness she can draw out of seemingly nowhere.

It was there as she bailed Aurora out to Ramsey, it was there as she led Aurora through her crisis during triage, and it was there as she whispered into Aurora’s hair. It’s always there when it matters, when someone’s career, or health, or wellbeing is at stake. It’s always there when Aurora needs it, even if she didn’t want it or ask for it, even if Rylen had no reason to offer that stability, that olive branch.

Yet she still did. She still met Aurora’s gaze and apologized for something that wasn’t her fault just to save her from the wrath of Doctor Ramsey after experiencing it herself. She still stood across from Aurora, speaking soft and slow, even as Aurora was on the brink of a panic attack, a collapse of her psyche provoked by all the horrors surrounding her, horrors that surrounded Rylen, too. She still stepped into that stupid, cramped closet and pulled Aurora into her arms, her breath hitting against her ear and providing a single constant, the only comfort in that closet as everything hurt and exploded and became too much all at once.

She didn’t mock or hurt her, she didn’t belittle or demean her, she didn’t search for an in with her aunt or a crack in her armour to attack until she bled to death. She just sat there, letting Aurora’s ruined makeup and hot tears stain the fabric of her clothes before leaving Edenbrook for who knows how long, careful not to further shatter the splintered woman that had hit her limit as she shook in her arms.

Aurora turns, grabbing her phone off the cot and unlocking it, opening up that message from Rylen. ‘How’d you get my number?’ she types furiously, staring at it impatiently, waiting for ‘Delivered’ to turn to ‘Read,’ waiting for three dots to appear, waiting for a cohesive response. Her nail taps against the screen, sharp and staccatoed in the dark and empty on-call room, harsh and berating in the dim lighting surrounding Aurora.

‘Your aunt’ pops up after a few minutes, a few minutes that drive Aurora insane, just staring at the light illuminating her face.

Her eyebrows knit together, ‘Why? And why did she give it to you?’ she types quickly, mildly frustrated with her aunt for being so careless with private information.

‘I wanted to be able to check on my patients, Princess, calm down.’ The answer’s quick, sarcastic and teasing like the ridiculous gesture Rylen made as she exited the supply closet.

Heat rushes to Aurora’s face, her cheeks flushing in the dim lighting, though from anger or embarrassment or both, she can’t tell, but she knows she doesn’t like it one bit. ‘Don’t call me Princess,’ she fires back.

‘Oh, do you prefer Your Highness? I can work with that. Oooooh or Your Majesty! That better?’

Aurora’s lips quirk in the slightest smile at the letters on her screen, but she forces it away. ‘I prefer Aurora, my name,’ she responds.

‘You’re no fun, Princess.’

She frowns, ‘Aurora*’

‘Princess*’

‘Aurora*’

‘Princess*’

‘Aurora*’

‘Do you not think you’re a princess? Is that what’s happening? Aw, Aurora, are you not confident? Do we need to work on your self-esteem?’

She shakes her head, rolling her eyes, ‘Shut up, Damen. You have my number to discuss patients and that is all,’ she scolds.

‘Sorry, Princess, I’ll be good. How much longer is your shift?’

‘I'm already off. I was trying to sleep before your message distracted me.’

‘Sorry. Good night :)’

Aurora rolls her eyes again, setting her phone back down and settling into the cot beneath her once again, intent on a few hours of sleep before she can make her escape to the apartment, her aunt hopefully long gone by the time she returns and can enjoy the rest of her night. But even as she drifts off, thoughts of Rylen still slip into her mind, thoughts of that ludicrous smiley face and the grin she knows it's meant to represent.

#open heart #choices fanfic #open heart fanfic #aurora emery #aurora x mc #oh dp #here it is!!!#finally lmao #this'll prolly fill some space while i work on for real

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melloian · 3 years

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Character Bio 10

Alexandre Colbert

Age: 26 at death

Gender: M

Race: French Species: Human (formerly), Zombie (currently)

Alignment: Bad

Status: Dead

Occupation: Ice cream vendor, Supervillain

Love interest: none

Friends: Joanne, Andre (vendor), Zombizou

Enemies: Miraculous heroes, comedy...

Personality: Irritable, complaintive, envious, Loquacious, Competitive, Obedient, overdramatic, Vindictive, Sanctimonious

Bio: Alexandre is a zombie who pretty much spends they life on being a villain. At day, he pretty much disguise himself as a human and be vendor. However in the afternoon, he usually himself. He pretty much known to insult everyone and complain about anything. He can also be easily irritated. He pretty much goes by the name, Ha-endor.

He sometimes act nice, but he claims its boring to act nice.

As a villain: He have some type of grudge against comedy. He wants to complete remove its existence.

Backstory:

Alexandre was just a normal vendor who was working at a festival whose sells ice cream. Announcement went on about some one coming on stage. He took this time as a break and went over there. The people announced a comedian to come on stage. At this time, Alexandre loved jokes. The comedian soon introduced himself and started with his jokes. However his jokes was horrible, but Alexandre laughed at each one. Soon Alexandre ended up choking and coughing and eventually his body collapsed causing everyone to freak out. The announcer soon called the hospital. Ambulance soon came and rushed him to the hospital. But as soon they put him on a ventilator, he was already dead. Later, people announced his death, and soon started his funeral. After the funeral and putting him a gravesite, soon a necromancer came near. The necromancer soon revive him as a zombie. However, it was error that caused him to look different. As soon as he was revived, he instantly choked the necromancer. Necromancer push his arms out the way. Alexandre wanted to know why he revived him, but the necromancer didn’t answer and just soon left. Instead of yelling at necromancer for an answer, he thinks that he revived him for a 2nd chance. So he used this chance to go against comedy because how he die from it. So he later called himself Ha-endor.

Power

Whenever he laughs, people starts to uncontrollable laugh around him.

When people show any laughing emotion, he able to drain them and gather their happy soul. Which he can consume. Once he do so, the person falls unconscious, drained.

Soon or later, he was able to drain any time of happy emotion.

He can freeze people with his mouth.

He can make icy mist with his finger. He can use this power to make an area cold or change the weather to cold (he only used this on stomera changing the weather (stormy weather)).

However if he change the weather, he ends up dying temporarily.

Ice blaster 9000 - He built this since he cant turn people fully to ice, so this blaster makes a person into ice crystal.

He can make bomb balloons.

Weakness: If he keeps laughing, he ends up choking and his heart stops (his heart stills works in his undead form but its very weak.) In result spiting out blood.

(I recommend you skipping these akumantized forms)

Phobia Circus (akumantized form)

Altered personality: stubborn, Bizarre, Boisterous, Imprudent

cause of akumanzation: guard at the theme park wouldn’t like him to enter because he would’ve scared the children which angered him.

Goal: He wants to show him what’s true fear is like

Akumantized object: Balloon

abilities:

Because of his size, he able to smash anything with his body. (first form)

He uses his mouth as a portal to enter his “fear circus” world.

Inside there, he able to create anyone’s true fear. He can also create rides and games about the person’s fear or for tormenting the person.

He can stretch his body in strange ways and pretty much flexible.

He uses a hammer to smash things far away (first form)

He pretty stiff

Weakness: since his 1st form is made out of balloon, there’s a hole to unplug it.

If the person show no fear, he becomes weakened.

Gaganai (akumanzatied form)

Altered personality: selfish, immature, Impatient, mischief, Deceitful, irresponsible

He pretty much acts like a toddler and have a brain of a toddler now (and the size of a toddler). However, he still have parts of his adult mind. He pretty much fumble with his words, so its sorta hard to understand him.

cause of akumanzation: Joanne didn’t appreciate his work and started yelling him for doing a sloppy job for helping with the creche. So Joanne didn’t want anymore help from him, causing him to get really angry and complaint about everything.

Goal: get revenge on Joanne

Akumantized object: pacifier

abilities:

With his lollipop, he can age down people to the point they turn into dust. He can do the same by making them age up instead. The more he holds the lollipop towards the person, it will rapidly de-age or age them.

He can also make people dazed if he smack them awhile the lollipop energy is on.

Weakness:

If he uses too much energy, the lollipop will stop working. The only way to recharge the lollipop is to suck on the lollipop.

Since he post to be toddler, he very fragile.

He can run fast, however, he can trip easily causing to hurt himself.

He can be easily distracted by toys. He will attempt to resist it because of it.

Relationships (main ones):

Ha-endor & Zombizou

Ha-endor meet Zombizou near the graveyard. They become friends later. He pretty much annoyed about her “love” comments. He hates the fact she calls him plummie. However, he pretty much enjoy her as a friend.

Alexandre & Joanne

Alexandre met Joanne when he was alive. They used to chat alot and hang out with each other. When he off work, he usually visit her. She always wanted to work in the hobby he likes doing, but he refuses because he thinks its embarrassing. The last thing he told to Joanne was him being happy to work at the festival before he died.

Meeting him again

When he die, Joanne was upset. She started to miss him being around. Alexandre wanted to visited one last time, however Joanne was scared of him. He told her who he was and then Joanne stopped. She started crying and hugged him soon after.

Onwards

Alexandre and Joanne still get along as before, however not much. Alexandre dislikes how she can get angry fast recently and soon apologize afterwards.

Later, he realized Joanne had a crush on him this entire time.

Ha-endor & Gabriel

Even though Ha-endor don’t work at Daroness, He knows Gabriel. He dislikes him and thinks he the worst thing that ever happened. He also hate how he can’t talk to others in his tower.

Full body

Ghost form

Before he die

Other information:

He can exit his body if he wanted too.

His death became popular for some reason.

He is one of the villains who can’t remember their akumantized forms. Other being mime and Nathalie.

Even though he doesn’t show sympathy, he sometimes cares for others. But he hides that.

He had many hobbies such as designing outfits, cosplaying, drawing, acting and baking. But he claims its embarrassing to tell anyone this. However he uses these hobbies for making disguises.

He can sometimes tell when some one is acting or lying.

He have a curse where he will uncontrollably laugh at random. He claims that he trying to prevent himself from doing this but its too strong.

He become a ice cream vendor because he loved ice cream way too much.

He carries a emery board on his pocket. He usually use it just to irritate people awhile using it on his nails.

He is post to play as a comedic relief character but will still have serious moment though.

GUYS AM SORRY FOR THE CRINGE I DONT HAVE A FETISH I SWEAR. TRUST ME, WHEN I MAKE THE COMICS IS NOT GOING BE CRINGE.

To involve this cringey post just please go here for information about zombies.

However at the same time i posted this to wait for psychomedian episode will come out any time soon.

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous au #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #ml #zombizou #miraculous oc #am sorry for cringe ;-;#i hope this post gets ignored asap #miraculous ladybug reboot #ml reboot

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crazy-loca-blog · 4 years

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Personal thoughts on Open Heart, Book 2, Chapter 13 (with some glimpses to previous chapters)

Note: As the title says, these are just personal opinions on Choices books and chapters. Of course, you may agree or disagree with them, I only use this platform to express my thoughts on what I read every week and what I’d like to see in the next chapters, because none of my friends play Choices so I have no one to comment the books with.

I’m really sorry because this post ended up being super long, but there is so much I need to write about Open Heart after those incredible chapters that PB has been delivering in the last few weeks that I had to stop for a moment and revisit all that has happened as well as some of my ideas about what might happen in future chapters (this is not intended to be an OH blog but seriously guys, this is the only book that gives me those “I need to write about this” vibes at the moment).

I know some people are quite disappointed for how things developed in Chapter 13… BUT… I think this chapter is actually kind of a “bridge” (just like in the songs) to introduce new plots, so I’d definitely tell you not to get desperate. One of the things that this series has taught me over time is that everything has a reason to be. Except for the cases we solve (that tend to change every chapter), the rest of the plot has its own slow pace and development, so as I’ve said before, with a third book already confirmed and in the works, there is no need to hurry things, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the conflicts are not fully solved by the end of Book 2.

For me, it was always very obvious that the huge amount of unsolved subplots in this book would have their breaking point at the same time at some point of the story. Now I’m guessing that the senator incident was just the tip of the iceberg and that there’s so much more that we still haven’t seen… so I can’t think of a more appropriate title to Chapter 13, because yes, it was a “time bomb”… and I also think this is far from over, so I’m expecting Chapter 14 to kind of follow the same path.

So right when we were waiting for our MC to show some evident PTSD signs after what happened in Chapters 10, 11 and 12, PB throws us Chapter 13 and everything that had been accumulating for a long time already and seemed to have no special meaning for the plot, exploded, which actually scares me because it seems no one is mentally capable to help the rest of the gang at the moment. So while PB dares to give these people a break, let’s try to organize this “mess” and see how I think things will go with our friends:

Aurora Emery: Everything seems to be fine with Aurora now, and that might explain why we didn’t see her in Chapter 13. But sadly, I have a bad feeling. One of the reasons why she left Edenbrook and went to Mass Kenmore was because Tobias apparently didn’t know who she was. But now that we know that June has been sleeping with Tobias for who knows how long… did he really NOT know who Aurora was when we met him at that diner? Bryce Lahela: Another character who seemed to have disappeared this week is the hottest scalpel jockey in town. Do you really think PB forgot about him? Because I’m seriously expecting his parents to arrive in Boston just to try to take Keiki back home with them (maybe during Chapter 14?). If this happens, I can already tell it will be super heartbreaking, because I don’t know if she can actually emancipate from her parents or to stay with Bryce as her legal guardian. The Lahela siblings simply don’t deserve this.

Kyra Santana: Kyra is the first of the characters who seems to have her issues solved, so I’d say she’d finally made it safe to Book 3 (unless something truly unexpected happens). We know that she is getting better (I love you Bryce!) and I can’t wait to see her become the rock of this gang. The girl has already gone through A LOT, and she is enjoying her second chance in life, so there’s plenty of advice that our gang could take from her to deal with difficult times. I’m so waiting for her character to become a central part of the healing process!

Rafael Aveiro: I think the writers are still trying to figure out how to reincorporate Raf to the story, so it’s very predictable to say that we won’t see him soon. However, I don’t know if you guys realize how HUGE this character has become after the incidents in previous chapters, especially when it comes to the relationship with the MC. No matter if you’re romancing him or not, from now on, NO ONE in this series will understand the MC as Raf does and vice versa. And I can’t wait to see how PB exploits this new and unique bound between them!

Elijah Green: Elijah is another character who seem to have solved his main issue in this book (keeping boundaries with Sothy), but it surprised me how affected he was at Danny’s funeral. I’m also expecting to know what happened with Phoebe, as we haven’t seen her in this book… where is she? What happened with that relationship? Anyway, I think it’s safe to say that Elijah has also made it to Book 3.

Sienna Trinh: Finally our BFF had the guts to stand up to Mitch. In the process, we discovered that the guy was a problem not only for Sienna, but also for the nurses and other professionals, given all the support she received. However, I’m still super worried about our dolphin partner. Even though she tries to hide how she truly feels about things, we all know she sucks at it. Danny was her LI and I can’t believe she isn’t a mess now. I think it’s the right moment for her to have a heart to heart conversation with the MC.

Jackie Varma: My feelings towards Jackie are weird. I wasn’t a fan of her “tough love” in Book 1… and I LOVE HER in Book 2 (I think she actually has the best and most underrated character development in this series so far)… but right now I want to punch her… seriously! What the hell are you thinking, girl? I don’t understand a thing of what she did in Chapter 13, but I’m pretty convinced that the presentation was fake, the Gary excuse was fake, but the money that she’s receiving from Panacea is very real. Also, who was this woman that left her so confused? She’ll have lots of explaining to do in future chapters.

Ethan Ramsey: I honestly didn’t see that coming… it was shocking, painful and heartbreaking, and I think not even Ethan knew how huge everything was until he saw his mother dying at the hospital. Now I have so many questions! Was she looking for him because she wanted help to treat her addictions? Was she looking for money to get more drugs? Did his father know about this? Was she already an addict before leaving Alan and Ethan 25 years ago, and Ethan didn’t know about it or did he block that memory of his mind? This is going to be intense, to say the least, and I think this might be some subplot that will be dragged to Book 3.

Farley: Who would have thought a few weeks ago that I would be adding the landlord to this post? Probably no one. But there is something about him that doesn’t add up. His behavior has changed A LOT, all of a sudden, and you can see he has the word “guilt” written all over his face. I personally can’t stop thinking he’s the one who sold the canister to Travis. If we go back a few chapters, Travis said that when he bought that thing he only received an account number. But the person who sold him the canister and received the money probably did see who was paying for it. He was also too reluctant to answer Jackie and the MC’s questions before being admitted… I don’t know guys, despite his case was solved quite fast (I laughed so freaking hard when Ethan said he was a PITA!) I don’t trust him at all.

Esme Ortega: We all were waiting for a chapter focused in our intern… but I don’t think we expected it to go this way. I know a lot of people are talking about an assisted suicide case, but I think there is more than meets the eye. Esme is probably the best intern this year, so I can’t imagine her making the mistake of not adjusting the dose, as well as I can’t imagine her not knowing that assisted suicide is illegal in Massachusetts. You may also think that her emotions and how she felt about Levi blurred her rational thinking, but I’m in denial. There is just something that doesn’t add up here. She doesn’t even seem to remember giving him the wrong dose. Then what went wrong? Will we have to face another trial, this time from the mentor side?

Declan Nash: Another character that I didn’t expect to write about in a post. I’m still disappointed because I would have loved to see Declan in that room instead of Bobby, Danny or Rafael. But now I can see that Esme’s case may help us to finally get rid of this guy (let’s be honest, he hasn’t been a big contribution to the development of the plot in Book 2 so he wouldn’t be missed). I don’t think he just appeared by chance in this chapter. We already know that Panacea trials weren’t working on Levi, so even though he apparently died because of Esme’s mistake, I wouldn’t be surprised if we end up discovering something HUGE about irregularities in the trial processes led by Declan, especially because I can’t remember seeing an informed consent where a patient with a severe adverse event (in this case, a severe kidney damage) caused by a study is allowed to participate in a new similar study (I might be wrong though).

Our MC: Of course I had to include our MC here. There’s so much to be explored about “Casey Valentine” that it would take a full post to analyze their past, their present and their future. But I think one of the biggest lessons that Chapter 13 left them was that life continues and people move on. Our MC is stuck on what happened and they’re making their biggest effort to keep going, but I don’t know how much they’ll be able to handle without collapsing. All of our gang is grieving Danny and Bobby, and at the same time they’re dealing with their own personal issues… and I can bet our MC will reach their breaking point when they realize they can’t do anything to help their friends because “Casey” has reached a point where they can’t even help themselves.

#playchoices #choices stories you play #open heart #choices open heart #open heart choices #casey valentine #ethan ramsey #bryce lahela #rafael aveiro #jackie varma #aurora emery #sienna trinh #esme ortega #kyra santana #elijah green #declan nash #farley #edenbrook

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itsyourgirljewls · 3 years

Text

Not the Right One

Chapter 2

The intro to Trade Mistakes by Panic! At the Disco goes off on my alarm at 6:45 in the morning. I groan in annoyance and turn it off. I rub my eyes and sit upright slowly, hunching forward. My room is dark due to the blinds being closed and the lights are off as well. I take a deep breath in and stretch my arms in the air, attempting to crack my back even though it’s impossible for me to do so.

Throwing the covers off of me, I jump out of bed and walk over to my closet across the bed. I grab a black and blue flannel hoodie, dark black ripped jeans and my black Vans from Zumies. High school kids are allowed free dress while middle school on down are forced to wear uniforms. Uniforms are so dumb. If teachers have a problem with getting distracted by what minor girls wear, they have a problem. It’s not the girls’ fault. Trust me when I say that only us girls get dress coded while the boys who wear basketball shorts and tank tops year round don’t. It’s stupid.

I quickly get dressed and brush out my brown hair and decide to pull it up in a messy ponytail. I am not feeling school today. I just want to sit at home, listen to music and write my novel. Is that so hard to ask? I grab my backpack and run down the stairs. Mom typically takes me to school almost an hour early because of her job so I have to hurry and get breakfast before we leave because mom does not like it when we eat in the car.

Mom of course, is already downstairs in the kitchen. She’s hurriedly making coffee and pouring it into a to go mug as I enter the kitchen. I hurry over to the freezer and grab myself two eggo waffles and plop them into the toaster.

“Are you really wearing that to school Jay?” mom asks scowling at me. Her hair is up in a brown ponytail and she is wearing green Prana yoga pants and a black Columbia heavenly jacket. Shouldn’t be proud that I am actually trying with my look?

I shrug and say, “I can wear what I want right? Free dress,” I say.

Dad comes down the stairs and enters the kitchen. He kisses me on top of the head and says, “Hope you have a good day at school.”

“Thanks… good luck at work,” I say.

He grabs an Atkins bar and leaves the house in a hurry. Mom sighs and says, “Go change.”

I shake my head. “Is it hurting you that I dress like this?” I ask, folding my arms over my chest.

The girls all come down the stairs and mom says, “You guys ready?”

Allison, Emery and Martha are all in uniforms. Martha is in a beige colored khaki type skit and a button up purple collard shirt while the others are in khaki pants. Super boring uniforms. Not even the cool ones like in the movies that make you want to wear a uniform.

Mom sighs and says, “Tomorrow you can’t wear that to school. You’ll get in trouble.”

I roll my eyes but decide not to argue. It’s no use arguing with my mom. She’s stubborn and set on her ways. She cares about health, fitness and fashion (despite her only wearing Prana yoga pants to work). I have dabbled in men’s clothing before. That is if you count eyeing a shirt or pants in the men’s department and asking your mom if she likes it or not.

As the five of us head out, I shout, “Have a good day dad!” I am not so sure where he is in the house, but he’s somewhere and most likely not going to work.

I suck in my breath and close the door on my way out. When we get to the car, the fight for the front seat begins.

“I call dibs!” Martha quickly says.

This is when blood begins to spill. “Oh come on Martha! You always get front seat!” Allison wines.

“Well no matter who’s sitting up front, I’m controlling the music,” I say getting in the driver’s seat and quickly plugging in my phone into the AUX cord.

“Hell no! You always play the same stuff!” Martha says.

“You guys never let me choose in mom’s car. Since it’s my car, I’m choosing the music,” I say.

Before anyone else argues, I start the car and turn on Taylor Swift so everyone is happy. Martha has managed to get her way to the front seat and Emery and Allison sit in the back. Allison decides to listen to her own music and stare out the window, sulking. Emery sits in her seat quietly, hands folded on her lap and staring out the window. I pull out of the driveway and begin the drive to school.

“Hey can we get coffee?” Martha asks as I make it out to the road.

“No we don’t have time,” I say.

“Come on! Who cares if we’re even late anyway?”

“Mom would care,” I say.

“Yeah but mom is mom. She’s the weirdest person I know. We already know she’s going to be freaking out if we’re late or not. Besides, you’re the one who decided to wear ripped jeans to school,” Martha says.

“I thought you didn’t care about the Bible,” I say.

“I don’t. But you did set mom off and now later today she’s going to have a talk with you about what you’re wearing and why it’s wrong.”

I groan and grip my hands tightly on the wheel. We come to a red stop light and I quickly switch from Taylor Swift to Ed Sheeran and You Need Me, I Don’t Need You pops on. Martha looks out the window and the light turns green.

***

We make it to school and everyone gets out of the car. I lock it and hurry inside the school by the church entrance rather than the school entrance. In front is a cafe and students are lined up to get whatever they desired. The four of us walk over and I say, “I’ll get you coffee here. How about that?”

Martha sighs and says, “Fine.”

We get in line and Martha is suddenly very jumpy. She smiles and she turns her body towards a boy named Bryan Quill. He’s wearing basketball shorts and a tank top like every other boy in this school. He’s half black, half white and has really pretty brown eyes and curly brown hair. Martha’s pale cheeks turn bright red and she says, “It’s Bryan.”

“I know,” I say.

“Go talk to him,” Allison says.

Martha nods and decides to walk over to him. There is a huge height difference when Bryan stands next to Martha. He’s at least six feet one inch maybe even a little taller while Martha… she managed to get the short genes of the family along with me. Reaching five feet two inches tall. But… she’s taller than me so I guess there’s that going for her.

It’s our turn now and I say, “Hi can I get a 16 ounce mocha with no whipped cream and Allison, Emery? What do you want?”

Emery stands on her toes and I lean down so she can whisper in my ear, “Can I have hot coco?”

I nod and tell the cashier, “One hot coco. Allison” I turn to Allison and wait for her to respond.

She shrugs and says, “I’ll have drip coffee thank you.”

I pay for the order and wait to the side. Bryan and his friends walk away and Martha comes back over to us. Her cheeks are bright red and her smile is from ear to ear. “He’s so hot!” Martha says.

I clear my throat and say, “He is.”

I will admit, he’s hot but my sister likes him. So, off limits. Besides, he's a freshman. I’m a sophomore. I can’t date anyone younger than me. It’s weird. The barista hands us our drinks and we take them. “What time do you need to be in home room Martha?” I ask.

“Um 8:15,” she says.

Since there’s no school bell like in the movies, I check the time on my phone and see that it is 7:50 am. I need to get to home room by 8:00 am. Or I will face the deadly stare by my classmates.

Everyone in the school has a home room. Typically, home room is meant to give weekly school announcements and updates. Typically we do a class prayer and then get on with our day. Usually home room lasts only forty minutes so at least I don’t have to suffer for an hour and a half or so.

I look over at Allison and say, “Can you take Emery to her class?”

Allison nods, holds Emery’s hand and they walk away to her classroom. I run my hands through my hair and say to Martha, “I have to go. See you at lunch.”

She waves goodbye and I walk down the small hallway, past the Chapel room and head out the building where we have our outdoor trailer classrooms. On the left side is my homeroom and science trailor classroom. I walk up the metal stairs and enter the room. I look for Lizbeth and find her sitting in the back. I smile and sit next to her.

Mrs. Newton looks at the round clock at the back corner of the wall and says, “Welcome to home room everyone! A few announcements for today. We are looking for a class representative for our student government team. If anyone is interested you may speak up and we can put your name down to vote.”

I expect only two people to volunteer for class rep. Olivia and Sarah. They’re the popular girls of the school and even have their own clique. When I first came to the school, they tried to pull me into their popularity club, but I was too shy to do anything about it. So, I didn’t continue being friends with them.

“I’d like to run,” Olivia says. No one else says anything and I drum my fingers against the table.

It’s my senior year. Last year to do anything. It’s a small school anyway so it’s not like I’m embarrassing myself in front of hundreds of people.

Before I can stop myself, I say, “I’d like to run.”

Lizbeth looks at me, wide eyed and her jaw drops. I clench mine and immediately regret speaking because then Mrs. Newton laughs and says, “Haha okay then. I guess Jay wants to run for class rep. So don’t forget to vote for her.” There is clear sarcasm in her voice and my cheeks blush bright red and my ears burn.

The class chuckles and Lizbeth arches her eyebrows and tilts her head to the side. I glance down at my desk, silent for the rest of the class. As they pray, I look around the classroom, counting down the minutes until the class ends. There are posters of the periodic table of elements and other science facts all around the room. Science lab equipment is on the counter in the back of the classroom, along with the sink to wash our hands.

Once the class is finished with prayer, we are dismissed and I head to my next class, History with Mr. Cliff. It’s world history but all Mr. Cliff talks about is the Superbowl and what the Americans did during the world war. He doesn’t talk about anything else.

Lizbeth walks next to me and she says, “You okay Jay?”

I nod, wanting so badly to forget that even my teacher laughed at me about wanting to run for class rep. This is why I never do any of these things. She smiles and says, “It’s going to be fine. Besides, we have two years left to endure this shit.”

I laugh and say, “True that.”

We enter the classroom and I sit in the back. More students file in and a few from the junior class come in too. There are three students who come into the classroom as soon as it starts, so I guess technically speaking, they are not late. There are always these people who break the boundaries just enough that it’s technically not breaking any rules. They never get in trouble for anything.

Zakariah, Pierce and Matthew all walk in and sit in the back of the classroom. I roll my eyes and shake my head. Mr. Cliff begins the class by having us pick our team we’re voting for, for the Super Bowl. I grown in annoyance and run my hands through my hair. I don’t know anything about sports and I always humiliate myself when choosing.

“I’m going to write down on the board a list of teams who have a chance at the Super Bowl and then you all will pick the team who you think is going to win. If your team wins, you will get a prize,” Mr. Cliff says.

I glance over at Lizbeth who shrugs and shakes her head. I notice Mr. Cliff writes down a team called Lions and decide it best to vote for them because that is our school mascot. I swear all our school cares about are sports and God. It’s the stupidest thing ever.

An hour later, we finish class with a quiz and I am the second person to turn in my quiz. I sigh in relief and once everyone is finished, we leave the classroom. Lizbeth and I walk to the cafe and as we walk to the cafe, I run into Malia.

She is with her two friends Natalie and Paige. Martha is still in class as the middle schoolers have a different schedule than us high school students. I can’t help but stare at Malia as she walks past but she doesn’t notice. I clench my jaw and pull out my earbuds, turning on some Ed Sheeran.

Lizbeth gives me a strange look, tilting her head to the side and arching her light brown eyebrows and says, “You alright?”

I blush and say, “I’m fine. Why?”

Lizbeth shrugs and says, “I dunno. You were acting a little weird back there.”

I raise my hands in the air and say, “I’m not being weird.”

“Yes you are.”

“Can we drop it?” I say quickly.

Lizbeth raises her hands in surrender and we sit down at one of the round tables for study hall. I shiver and begin working on my fantasy novel.

#asexual #pansexual #lgbtq+#own voices #romance #young adult

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joonietonin · 5 years

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Let's talk about Ethan Ramsey and MC:

Okay loves, this post does contain some NSFW spoilers if you haven't played the latest chapter yet. ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

First off, THANK YOU JACKIE/SIENNA for knocking some sense into MC to contact Ethan. I swear our dumb bitch would've just sat there and watched television to spend their time. And "I hate texting" = classic Ethan Ramsey. I don't know one dialogue that encapsulates Ethan's personality more than the one above.

Now, let's talk about my favourite person aka Ethan Ramsey. I swear him and MC act like a whole ass married couple. Him snorting at MC's outfit? married. Him joking about MC joining a cult? married. Him pouring MC a drink and get happy when she accepts it? married. Him *finally* letting his guard down and sharing his fears with MC? married but also, CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.

My MC chose to, well, stab her finger in his chest and demanded for answers. The angst™ was absolutely beautiful but the way Ethan finally gave MC the answers they wanted. And honestly, did we really think Ethan would hear about MC's probable trial and not help them out? Impossible. He already tried but well, Harper Emery told him he was biased. And him admitting that he, in fact, was biased towards MC was really such a heartfelt moment. It was when Ethan truly let all his guards down and let MC know that she/he were different and that she/he meant a lot to him.

The best part about the chapter was, well obviously, MC getting to fuck Ethan. But it's also important to note the build up leading to THE moment. What I really liked is that unlike all other times where it was MC who suggested or well, initiated the kiss or anything romantic. This time it was Ethan. His whole "I'm not your boss anymore and that means..." and then of course, "his hands on your wrist, his body pushing you against the kitchen island" Ethan finally showed MC that he wanted her/him as much as she/he wanted him and I LOVE THE FACT THAT ETHAN INITIATED THE FIRST MOVE. Poetic cinema, if you will? :')

And the whole scene was PERFECT. It was exactly what we hoped from Ethan Ramsey. I literally burst into flames when he said,"I want you.. you have no idea how much I've wanted you." He's older, more experienced and that showed in his work (even in the bedroom, well, ESPECIALLY in the bedroom) and he took his time, making sure that this was not a quick one time fuck they'll both forget after some time. He made sure that MC would remember this night for the rest of her/his life. I love how he put his whole focus on MC. He took his time, put equal attention to all parts of their body that brought them pleasure. Side note: MC is really a dumb dork, here a man is saying all these sexy things while kissing all parts of their body and they say,"Your stubble tickles." I literally snorted lmaoooo. And then I freaked out when Ethan said he should shave BECAUSE NO BITCH, you won't shave. NOT ON MY WATCH. So, I really liked that they put one light moment in this wholesome heated scene. It was cute but now let's focus on the sexy: ETHAN RAMSEY FOREPLAYING IT OUT WITH MC AGAINST HIS GLASS WINDOW THAT HOLDS THE VIEW OF THE CITY? I combusted. My MC is female - Him holding her from the back, sucking on her earlobe? Playing with her breasts? His hands reaching down to her core to pleasure her? Doing all three at the same time? I mean, I do not understand how MC stood straight because I was already melted in a pool and I was just the reader lmao. And the scene after that was perfect. Him still asking for consent after they had come so far. We stan a woke, sweet man who cares about MC. "I want it to be as special as you are." I MEAN??? HOW IS THIS MAN THE SEXIEST MAN TO EVER EXIST IN ONE MOMENT AND THEN THE SWEETEST BEAN THE NEXT?! ETHAN RAMSEY EXPLAIN YOURSELF. To wrap it up, this scene was everything I ever hoped for. Actually scratch that, it was more than everything.

Welp, this post is getting really long so I'll try to wrap everything up quickly. The whole after sex cuddling thing? CUTE. Him thinking that he couldn't be the man and mentor MC deserved literally broke my heart. But MC reassuring him with a kiss and their words was everything. Then MC asking Ethan to be there at the hearing and him saying,"Then I'll be there. Just.. don't give up. Don't you dare give up." AND LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, DOCTOR ETHAN RAMSEY IS BACK. THAT'S THE ETHAN WE KNOW AND LOVE. The one who encourages MC to take risks, the one who pushes her/him to not give up. The mentor MC deserves and to think, Ethan thought he had failed her/him! Oh Dr. Ramsey, even when you don't know it, you're always there for MC encouraging her and pushing her/him to achieve greater heights. That's what I love the most about Ethan and MC's relationship.

All that matters is that MC is there for Ethan and Ethan is there for MC. They finally pulled the last string and did what they had to do and IT WAS GLORIOUS. Also, side note: I think Ethan will be ecstatic to learn whatever revelation MC had whilst talking to Dirty Laundry. And I also think that revelation will somewhat also help MC at the hearing. But that's for next week, for now, let's just celebrate the fact that Dr. Ethan Ramsey and mc FINALLY slept together and it was WORTH THE WAIT. Peace. :') ❤️

#choices #pixelberry #playchoices #open heart #ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #dr ethan ramsey #mc x ethan ramsey #edenbrook #it finally happened #we did it fam

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iheartsunset · 2 years

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When the girl you’re in love with falls in love with the girl that this strange dude at the Apple store is in love with and you’re the maid of honor and he’s the best man at their wedding, so you have a fake romance that turns real and also your mom sucks and also Icee only puts her art in indie kid filters

🎏Tout est à l'envers

Y a rien, à faire

C'est toi qu'elle préfère

Mon cœur se serre

Tout est à l'envers

Y a rien, à faire

C'est toi qu'elle préfère

Mon cœur se serre🌊

#papa louie #flipline studios #flipline #my art #papa louie nevada #cameo is a king we stan #nevada in the teal and yellow bustier swimsuit top #nevada x cameo #interesting fashion choices from icee #icee gives papa louie characters no drip #emery freaking sucks #Spotify

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ryanmillermu · 5 years

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Truth Hurts--Para

Who: Ryan Miller and @ohnotalec When: A few days after Emery and Ryder’s party Where: Alec’s frat house Triggers: mention of death, pregnancy, religion Note: interaction done over chatzy, continued from this post Summary: Ryan makes her way to Alec’s place with a favor in mind. Instead, Alec confronts her about her kiss with Noah, sending the couple into an intense argument.

***leaving the (predetermined) ending open ended to keep you all on edge, and to allow others to partake in the plot if interested***

Alec: Glancing at this laptop than Ryan, his mind pondered if this was really a conversation he'd wanted to have. He wasn't sure what he wanted from Ryan at this moment. "No Im not busy." Pursing his lips together he let out a drawn sigh. "So were you going to mention the whole Noah thing to me or did you think you making out with one of your drunk friends wasnt a big deal?" He shot his words at her as his eyes stared through he like daggers.

Ryan: She probably should've expected it. She and Noah had had the discussion. She knew Noah was going to confront Alec at some point. However, she'd maybe failed to realize how quickly he'd break the news to Alec. "Oh...he um...he told you." She stumbled over her words a bit, realizing then just how poor her plan to avoid the topic until Noah brought it up was. "Alec, I was going to tell you. I just wanted Noah to have the opportunity to get to you first. I didn't want to ruin your friendship with him. I wanted him to have the chance to explain himself that he was drunk and it had nothing to do with him having feelings for me."

Alec: Despite Ryan's attempts to explain, her actions had already done their damage. "No shit Ryan" squeezing the arm of his desk chair Alec what was going to come of this. There had to be a reason she would avoid the subject. "Let's be honest Ryan you weren't. You don't trust me enough to tell me. Or what I really think it is... You.... you have feelings for Noah. I don't know why else you would feel the need to fucking cover this shit up up Ryan." Gritting his teeth Alec's eyes shifted to the ground as his anger progressed into sadness.

Ryan: Ryan's eyes narrowed at his accusation. "You can't be serious right now." She crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I'm not the one who kissed him! He kissed me! When he was drunk. I didn't kiss him back. It was over the minute it started. And honestly, there's no need for me to tell you because I didn't do anything!" She shook her head. "Not for nothing, Alec, but don't you think if I wanted to be with someone else I would've broken up with you a long time ago? Everyone tells me you're going to break my heart anyway. Don't you dare accuse me of having feelings for someone else," she stood up, clenching her fists. She saw a hint of sadness in Alec's expression and felt guilty for a moment, however, she was too far gone now. "You were right in being mad at me for not telling you. That was dumb. But how freaking could you act like I have feelings for him?"

Alec: Furrowing his eyebrows, Alec's mouth hung open. "And Noah had enough respect to tell me about it. If it didn't mean anything why wouldn't you tell me? If some drunk girl kissed me I would tell you. I think there's a reason you didn't tell me." Ryan's anger took him back, he'd never seen an ounce of rage come from the blonde. "No I think you would be too nervous to tell me so you would just stop talking to me. Let's be honest you can't do confrontation for shit." Throwing his arms up Alec groaned, "What the fuck does what anyone else says mean for any of this? If you had a genuine concern you wouldn't voice it." Not wanting speak up to Ryan, he got on his feet. "Because I just feel like something is up with you... with us."

Ryan: "I haven't stopped talking to you, Alec. I'm right here, am I not?" She pointed out. "Yes, I hate confrontation and it was really crappy for me to avoid it for as long as I did but how could you think that there was something up with us? We've met one another's families. I would've never took you home if you didn't mean something to me. I--" she lowered her voice, not wanting his brothers to hear. "I gave you my virginity!" Ryan reminded him. "I trust you completely, Alec. And it's going to be a really sad day if you try to tell me that you don't think I'm in love with you because I made a mistake. That...that really sucks," she furrowed her brows at him. "Something is up! But for freaking gosh sake, Alec, it's not that I have feelings for one of your best friends! Do I need to remind you that you slept with my best friend and I never questioned that? I never once accused you of having feelings for her--and you actually screwed her! I was trying to look out for your friendship with Noah! And ya know what, now Noah's mad at me too. So fine. What are you going to do? Break up with me? Because if that's what you're going to do, maybe it's /you/ who has feelings for someone else."

Alec: "Whatever" He spat out. "Why wouldn't you tell me? Because it's something so small and you never brought it up so don't I know you've kissed other guys and brushed it off as not meaning anything? You could of just introduced me so they know you weren't lying about having a boyfriend. Who knows. I think I mean something to you, I just don't know what that something is." Cocking his head to the side he just shrugged, the topic of sex had been bothering him but he pushed that feeling down for Ryan. "And you deny it. You don't have to keep your voice down, they know we have sex Ryan. " He stated not bothering to match Ryan's volume. "I think you think you love me. That's what I believe. " Of course Ryan had to bring up the RJ situation, despite her denial Alec knew it had to bother Ryan. "What's up? Tell me then. I slept with your best friend before I even met you. I'll admit at one point I had feelings for her and then I met you and I haven't given her a second look since. I wasn't mad at Noah, shit happens. I've had a drunk girl kiss me before and she felt awful about it the next day. Fuck this. What would you even do if I was in love with RJ or some shit like that? Would you leave me?"

Ryan: “I was planning to, Alec! I wasn’t going to keep it from you forever. I was going to give Noah the opportunity to first and I hadn’t realized he spoke to you already,” she insisted, though, she wasn’t sure he believed it or not. “Is that really what you think? You think after everything I’ve told you about my relationship that I would turn around and do that to you? Since when did you start thinking so little of me, Alec? And if you think all of this crap about me, why are you still with me?” She frowned. Ryan gave him a look when he loudly stated that the two had sex. “It’s no one else’s business! I made that clear to you from the very beginning it wasn’t something I wanted everyone to be gossiping about. You told me you respected that. If that changed, maybe you should’ve told me that. Clearly I’m not the only one keeping things to myself yet, here you are getting upset with me for it.” She argued. “Are you kidding me?” Her anger dissipated at his statement, shaking her head lightly. “You don’t think I actually love you?” When he pressed her to tell him what was going on, she shook her head, feeling overwhelmed by everything Alec had just said to her. As if she wasn’t already overwhelmed with the possibility of her carrying his child. “How is that fair? You’re not mad at Noah but you’re mad at me? Alec, it didn’t mean anything!” She continued to insist. At his hypothetical situation, her face fell. She knew what it was like to be with someone who lied about their fidelity. His sudden question brought her back to that. “Why does that even matter? Why would you even say that?” She shook her head. “Do you love /me/?”

Alec: "Alright Ryan." With everything that had just been said part of him wanted to forget he'd said anything to begin with. It was too late now. "I don't fucking know Ryan. Everyone tells me that you're too good for me and I'm so lucky to have you, and maybe you've been hearing the same thing. That could of just gotten to you. I don't think little of you in any way, but I'm just upset I didn't hear this from you." It hadn't surprised him that Ryan was offended with this, it had always seemed to be her concern but Alec had been tired of the lies. "I didn't tell them Ryan. These walls are thin and they know I have condoms. They are smart enough to put two and two together. I don't go around telling people we have sex, but if someone ask me if I'm sexually active I'm not going to tell them no." He said in a defensive tone. "I don't know. Sometimes I think you like the idea of love and so you just tell yourself that you love me."He admitted still curious as to what Ryan was keeping to herself. "No forget that. What is it you want to admit? The reason Noah and I are both made is because you went about things the wrong way most likely." By her face it was clear that he'd truly struck a nerve, her questions wasn't something he wanted to drive deeper into to. "Yes I love you Ryan. I wouldn't introduce you to my family if I didn't."

Ryan: "People say a lot of stuff that isn't true, Alec. None of them know you the way I do. But I guess maybe I don't know you either because it's starting to sound like you don't believe a word of what I say to you," she shook her head with a frown. "You're not unjustified in being upset about that. I should've told you and I should've gone about this whole thing differently and I'm sorry for that but that doesn't mean that you get to act like I don't love you. Or act like all of this means nothing to me because I made a mistake," she rubbed her forehead. "Then maybe you just don't fucking understand, Alec," Ryan snapped at him. "Screw you, Alec," she shook her head, reaching for her bag. "I've tried so hard with this. It's not fair that you get to tell me that I don't actually love you or that I introduced you to my family as some big production because I messed up. I make a mistake and suddenly I don't love you anymore?" She looked to him. "This is why I lie about everything and try to pretend everything's perfect. Because when I mess up, this is what happens. Everything just implodes. I was trying to do the right thing! I didn't want to mess things up with you and Noah and I didn't know what to do and--no--" she pushed him away from her. "Don't fucking touch me. You made it clear how you think of me, Alec. You made it really fucking clear." The blonde took a shaky breath. "You don't see a future with me, Alec. I know you don't so forget all of this. Fucking forget it," she mumbled, shaking her head and started towards his door.

Alec: Words failed Alec, his mouth stood open while Ryen expressed her anger. He wouldn't dare stop her rage, rather he admired it. Biting his lip he found himself getting turned on the more her temper progressed. His mind blanked until the blonde headed towards the door. Reaching out behind her,Alec took her hand. "I'm I am sorry. Im wrong and I know that but also angry you is incredibly hot. I know you hate me right now but if you want to take your anger physically out on me right now. I think we'd both benefit. "

Ryan: Ryan was partially relieved when she felt Alec reach for her hand. She was upset--they both were--but, she did love him. She didn't enjoy fighting with him. She didn't enjoy being angry. She certainly didn't want them to leave things on that note. When he apologized, her face softened. He hadn't been wrong. He'd been justified in being upset about the Noah situation. However, he'd definitely said some hurtful things. She opened her mouth to apologize, stopping herself when he went on. Realizing what he was suggesting, the blonde lost it. She burst into a fit of tears, all control of her emotions going out the window. "I'm not having sex with you!" She shouted at him, pushing him back once more. "I think I'm pregnant!"

Alec: In that moment his heart stopped. Their fight. His lust for Ryan. All that went out the window when he heard the word pregnant. Shaking his head slowly he looks back from her. "No! No no nope. You can't be pregnant. No no. Is this a joke because it's not funny. Have you taken a test? I'll go buy a test and Plan B right now. We-we can't have a kid Ryan. No." His eyes began to water as he faced his nightmare of potentially being a father. "What do you mean by think? "

Ryan: Ryan's saw the panic in Alec's expression, which only caused her to panic more. "No," she shook her head, sniffling as she tried to compose herself. "I didn't know what to do. I-I didn't want people to see me buying a test and know that..." she bit her lip, knowing that the extent she was going to to hide the fact that they were having sex would likely make him more angry. "I was going to ask you but I knew you were going to freak out. So I wanted to wait. I thought maybe I was just a little late or something. But then I never got my period. And then I freaked myself out by looking at the symptoms and convincing myself I have all of them I-I don't know what to do." She said softly. "You can't tell anyone about this, Alec."

Alec: Clenching his jaw Alec knew this moment required him to gather composure. "Okay ". Raking his hands through his hair his mind shuffled through all their sexual encounters,seeing if they'd ever failed to us a condom. "Okay, I'm going to go buy a test. We need to confirm if this is real or not. And then we can go from there okay? " it wasn't much of a question on his side but he wanted Ryan to feel supported in this process despite how he felt. "This is going to be okay"

Ryan: Ryan relaxed slightly when Alec did. “Fine,” she said softly, wiping her eyes again. “Just get me the test. You don’t have to take it with me. I’ll text you.” She mumbled, figuring he didn’t want to deal with it given how their night had gone so far.

Alec: Reaching over to his desk he handed Ryan a box of tissues. Part of him wondered why he'd let their fight progress this far. "I want to be here for you when you get the results... If you want me to be of course." He understood if Ryan didn't want him to be there. Part of Alec didn't want to wait and the other part of him wanted to be there for Ryan.

Ryan: Ryan grabbed the box of tissues from him, mumbling a quiet thank you as she wiped her eyes. “Why? You just told me you don’t even think I care about you? Don’t you think I’d rather just take it with Noah? Since I’m in love with him?” She gave Alec a look. “I just want to get this over with and go home.”

Alec: Leaning against his desk, he groaned out of annoyance "That's not what I said. And I don't think Noah would want to be there for the test. That seems more like a Lola thing." He answered meeting her eyes. "Okay, that works for me."

Ryan: “It’s exactly what you said, Alec,” she argued, taking a seat back on his bed. “I’m not telling Lola that I’m taking a pregnancy test,” she shook her head quickly. Although, she figured she might have to start telling people if the test was positive. But she wasn’t going to let her mind go there right now. “If I’m pregnant, are you going to leave me?”

Alec: Joining Ryan on the bed he allowed a comfortable distance between the two. "I don't think you love Noah. You may like him but not love him in that way." He reasoned, a lot of words he said earlier came out of spite and now it was biting him in the ass. "Okay. Im just saying you may want to talk to one of your friends about it. You dont talk about sex with RJ?" It was a bit off topic but that would release the tension. "No...wh-why would you say that? "

Ryan: Ryan let out a little sigh when Alec sat beside her. “He’s my friend, Alec. I like you.” She continued to insist. “No one else knows except for you.” She shook her head, before remembering who else she’d told. She knew it would only make things worse if she lied. “And Noah,” she added quietly, feeling guilty for that. Maybe she understood more now why Alec was a bit concerned. “Because I know you hate kids. And you just told me all of these doubts you’ve been having about me.” Ryan frowned. “‘My aunt and uncle probably wouldn’t talk to me. I wouldn’t have anyone to help me except you. Especially once everyone finds out I’ve been lying to them about sleeping with you. And then once they all inevitably find out me and your best friend kissed.”

Alec: "I know. I was just being stupid." He conceded. Of course Alec understood her concern, quite frankly if she was pregnant the next thing he would do is look for school to transfer too. There was no point in admitting that in case she wasn't with child. Ryan's next words stung, reaffirming everything he'd just felt. "Wow. You told Noah? Not RJ or Emery but Noah? Okay Ryan. " strumming his hands against his legs, Alec debated telling the truth but he knew nothing good would come out of that. "Yes but if I have kids im not going to abandon them. We both know what its like to grow up without a parent and im not subjecting my children to that. Ryan why does it matter to you so much if people know? Im not one for sharing what goes on in the bedroom if that's what you're worried about."

Ryan: Ryan felt relieved when Alec insisted he’d just been being stupid. It wasn’t because she wanted him to admit defeat. But, Alec had opened up to her quite a bit in their relationship. Having thought he believed she would betray him hurt her. She wanted him to feel confident in her feelings for him. “It would be kind of weird to tell RJ when she slept with the same guy,” she pointed out. “And I didn’t want to talk to Em about you after the two of you had your argument. I don’t know why I told him. I wish I hadn’t but, I don’t want to lie to you again. You should know that I told him. And I’m sorry for telling him,” she apologized. If Alec was going to admit his wrongdoings, it was only fair that she did the same. She felt reassured when he insisted that he didn’t have the intention of abandoning a child. As selfish as it was, Ryan wasn’t entirely concerned about him abandoning their possible baby, but rather, abandoning her. Ryan carefully reached for his hand. “Thank you for saying that, Alec,” she said quietly. “It’s not like that. It’s nothing to do with you or the fact that I’m sleeping with you specifically. It’s...I can’t risk it getting back to my church or my family. And I...it’s still hard for me to accept too. I love you. And I trust you. And we made the decision together. You never forced me or pressured me into anything. But, sometimes I feel guilty about it. And before I can openly talk about it to people, I want to try to deal with that.”

Alec: Moments like these made Alec question Ryan's judgement. Taking a moment Alec gathered his thoughts careful not to voice any opinions that would upset her. While he still believed if a boy was sly enough Ryan would end up in her bed, it would of course offend Ryan. "Ryan... I'm dating you. I think RJ is smart enough to realize we have sex. As often we spend the night at each others house, you really think RJ is ignorant to the house we are messing around?? Furrowing his eyebrows he shook his head. "So you won't tell Lola, Emery, RJ, or any of your other guy friends but you trust fucking Noah?" His tone growing slightly. "I understand you're sorry. But You get my concerns right? You claim to be best friends with all these other people. Then Noah kisses you and you only confide in Noah about the entire situation. Noah apparently the only person you can trust with this secret. And you told him BEFORE me. I-I don't know what to think of it."He answered honestly. he wasn't the type to be jealous but Ryan's relationship with Noah was something he wasn't really fond of. With the situation with Ryan maybe being pregnant, Alec just wanted to know the results. Squeezing Ryan's hand he smiled gentility. "It makes me feel awful knowing that you feel guilt that we have sex. I understand you're worried about it getting back to your family. But you deny it everyone which just makes it seem like your embarrassed about the entire thing. It makes me feel like I'm corrupting you. I don't like the fact that I'm supposed to lie to my friends about something I've never had to lie about before."

Ryan: “I don’t know. And even if she did ask, I would lie to her. And she trusts me so, I don’t know.” Ryan sighed, realizing now how bad of a situation she got herself in with her lie. When Alec asked her if she understood his concerns, as much as she hated to admit it, she nodded. She felt badly for putting Alec in a position where he felt like he was second to another guy in her life. “I realize now how bad it looks. But, I hope you can trust me when I tell you that Noah is just a good friend. I love you. And I’m sorry that I ever made you doubt that,” she looked to him, wanting to know how genuine her apology was. “Wait,” she furrowed her brows. “No, I didn’t tell him about thinking I was...pregnant,” she lowered her voice when she said the word. “I told him we were having sex. Not...no. No one knows about...this,” she shook her head quickly. She wanted to set that straight before it started another round of fighting. “I’m not embarrassed. Not of you. It just...no. You didn’t do anything. Nothing about it has to do with you. Its’s a personal problem and I’m sorry for how it’s affecting you. I’m sorry I’ve asked you to lie to your friends and my family and everyone for me. I am. I should’ve been more honest about how I was feeling. I just didn’t know how to bring it up without making you feel hurt.”

Alec: "But why lie Ryan? She's your best friend. It just seems like you're putting yourself in a position where everyone is going to find out. What are you going to say when they do?" Though Ryan was acknowledging her wrong doing, it didn't seem like she was going to change. All this seemed to do was acknowledge their unspoken feelings. "But what's going to change? Im never going to tell you who you can and can't hang out with but it makes me uneasy that you seem to trust Noah more than me. Maybe theres work to be done on my end, if so tell me what to do. Going forward he wanted to make things better when meant work on both their ends. His eyebrows furrowed mimicking Ryan, "why did you tell Noah we were having sex then? Okay, I guess im glad im the first to know about this." His eyes glanced at her stomach. "Ryan I know you feel bad but that doesnt change things. Im not going to tell my friends a blatant lie. I understand the fear but I don't understand the shame. I would propose we stop having sex but I probably wouldn't be okay with that. I just don't know what you want going forward "

Ryan: “I-I don’t know,” Ryan shook her head. She figured it was easier to just deny what was happening than accept what was going on. She had a tendency to push her problems away until she was forced to deal with them, however, usually, there was no solution by that point. “I don’t. You know so much more than Noah ever does or would. I told him that we needed to chill it with hanging out with one another because I don’t want you feeling the way you do right now. It’s not fair to you. That’s why he’s upset with me, I think,” she explained. “I needed to talk to someone,” she said softly. “And I couldn’t tell Lola after I’d lied to her for so long. And RJ has had a lot to deal with because of Ezra. Hadley’s been dealing with the Addison thing. Emery and you were kind of arguing. I guess...I thought he’d be less likely to make a big deal of it,” she shrugged. “You don’t understand the shame because you didn’t grow up learning how wrong sex before marriage is, Alec,” she said gently. “You don’t understand how disappointed my dad would be. And I know that’s my fault. But....that’s why,” the blonde bit her lip. At his words, she glanced up at him. “So, if we don’t have sex anymore, you wouldn’t want to be with me?”

Alec: Biting the inside of his cheek his mind ran through how to best handle all this entire ordeal. While it would be easier to just ignore that this situation ever happened, it would just raise tension. "You can hang out with Noah. If you and Noah hanging out makes you happy then don't stop." He reasoned, Ryan had enough going on and all he was doing was adding to it at the moment. "Everyone needs someone to talk to and if Noah's your person that's okay. I don't want you to feel isolated becuase I don't get along with them." While Alec didn't understand the shame Ryan went through via her family he went through his own shame. "That may be true but I can relate to it. When I was 13 I took dance classes and I remember it being all over magazines. I've read blogs about people's opinions of my family. Shit, when I went to my mom's funeral I had someone messaging me telling me that my mom deserved to die....I know what it's like to be shamed by those around you. " At her next questioned he simply shrugged, "I wouldn't break up with you, but we'd have to work something out I guess. Why?"

Ryan: "Noah's my friend. I like hanging out with him but, not at the expense of /your/ happiness," she shook her head. Of course she didn't want to choose between the two, and she knew Alec wouldn't make her, but, it was clear that her friendship with Noah wasn't helping things. She and Alec clearly had enough to worry about at the moment. She didn't need to create more complications for them. "I know. But, I'm sure I'd feel the same way if you were confiding in RJ. It wouldn't be a malicious thing but, it'd still be hard. I didn't think about it from your perspective. I should have," the blonde told him. When Alec began to tell her about the past events in his life, she tried not to show how surprised she was. It wasn't often that Alec opened up, so she knew him doing so took a lot of trust. "I'm sorry you went through that," she said softly, glancing over to him. "I never knew that. You always just kind of seemed so confident in yourself. I didn't realize you'd had to deal with similar stuff," Ryan shook her head. She hesitated, contemplating if she should speak further on the topic of their sex life but ultimately deciding against it. "No reason," she shook her head. "We um, can we just do the test now? I can't really think straight."

Alec: "It's not at my expense though. I don't want to impede on your happiness and it's not fair to ignore Noah becuase it may make me unhappy." He insisted if it had gotten out that Ryan wasn't allowed to hang out with Noah becuase of her boyfriend, Alec would look like a dick. "I guess that's the same. You weren't really confiding in Noah unless you were actually confiding in him. I think it may be better if you talk about things with your female friends, they'll be able to see things from your perspective better." If Ryan wanted sex advice he wasn't completely surprised she went to Noah, but it just felt wrong to him. "If there's something I need to work on in the bedroom you can just tell me." He threw into the conversation. It was easy to just close off the parts of his life to was painful to discuss, but he knew Ryan deserved to be let in. "Don't be sorry. It allowed me to grow a thick skin. And I am confident becuase I have to be. If I listened to what everyone thinks I should do or should be I would be stuck in a circle trying to please everyone. " That's what he had to tell himself growing up. "Yes of course" Standing up he grabbed his car keys. "Ready?"

Ryan: "It's more important to me that you don't feel like I'm going behind your back. I have plenty of other friends. Me and Noah...well, he has plenty of other friends too," she insisted. She hated the idea of creating an unnecessary problem for Alec. "Yeah...when I told Noah I lost my virginity, he asked if I meant my anal virginity. So, I'm not sure he understood completely," she shook her head. He'd definitely offered her good advice and did his best to comfort her but, she knew Alec was right. The friendship she had with Noah wasn't exactly the type she would normally go to for that sort of thing. She'd learned her lesson now. At his comment, Ryan's eyes widened. "What? No, that's not at all why I said anything to Noah," she quickly shook her head. "You...know exactly what you're doing," Ryan blushed at her confession. If anyone needed sex advice, she knew it was probably her. "You don't have to be though. You could be like me and just completely deflect anything that could possibly impede your self-esteem and end up in this exact scenario," she half joked. "I like that about you. Because I know a lot of people are tough on you and it's dumb because they don't know how you really are. Like how you are with me. People try to say crap without knowing anything about you and it isn't fair," she shook her head. It bothered her when people made comments about Alec. The guy she knew didn't give anyone reason to say what they did. Ryan stood when he did, shaking her head. "I mean, not really. How could I be?" She pointed out, knowing that Alec was likely just as nervous. They were in it together. "But putting it off isn't much fun so," she walked alongside him. "Um," she placed a hand on his arm, looking up to him. "I'm sorry I flipped out on you. I should've come to you right away when all of this started." She began. "Thank you for helping me and not just leaving me to do it all on my own."

Alec: "Now we talked about things I feel better. I just don't want you to neglect that friendship over me." He insisted. Burst out into laughter, given the tension of the night felt needed. "Oh my gosh. That's amazing. I understand why he asked that, do you get why he asked that?"A smile still crossed his lips. "Okay, I was just asking. I'm just glad to know you're happy on your end." He smirked his eyes rolled over Ryan. Ryan's words warmed his heart, "Thanks babe. You're sweet and care about everyone around you. I know sometimes people think that your nieve and childish. It doesn't take long to see through that. I'm not capable of that kindness. I have to have up these walls for a reason." His face softened, Ryan made it easy to talk about these types of things. "I've never been in this situation before so I'm nervous too, don't worry." He smiled at Ryan, he stayed calm though on the side his nerves were strung. Feeling her touch he looked down at Ryan, "I was being a dick you don't need to apologize. Plus I've learned seeing angry really turns me on. So you know if you're ever angry..." Taking her hand he smiled down at her. "You're welcome. I love you Ryan."

Ryan: "Me too. I should've just come to you about it all in the first place. We could've avoided a lot of this," she sighed, realizing her mistake. "Are you asking me if I know what that means? Because yes, Alec. I know what he meant by it," she rolled her eyes with a little smile. Despite the topic of conversation, she'd be lying if she said she wasn't relieved that they were in a position now where they could laugh together. "I just want your friendship with Noah to be okay too. I hope now that I've made it clear that there's nothing between us you two can work everything out," she said hopefully. After all, her concern for their friendship was part of what got the couple here. "Well, I might be a bit naive and childish but, I guess there are worse things I could be," she pointed out. "You are so capable of that kindness. You have been to me at least. Everyone kind of has their walls up about some things. Doesn't mean you're not nice," Ryan shrugged. "Me either. Obviously," she shook her head. "We were both kind of dicks." She reasoned. They'd both said and done stupid things during their fight. She was just relieved they were able to move past it. "I'm hoping I don't really get that angry again, Alec," she raised a brow at him. She took his hand. "I love you too. Whatever happens. And...whatever you want to do if..." she said softly.

#para #alec #tw: mention of death #tw: pregnancy #tw: religion

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spillinginkwithlove · 6 years

Text

Fallen

Chapter 2

I was just starting to doze off when I felt the first bounce of turbulence. It wasn't a huge drop but being sensitive to turbulence, it jolted me wide awake.

The seat belt sign dinged and the pilot came on the intercom warning us of the turbulent air and that all passengers should stay in their seats. Within just a minute or two, another jerk, this time harder than the first.

I tried very hard to control the panic rising in my chest. My palms were sweaty and my heart was racing. Reaching for my seat belt, I tightened it to the point of cutting circulation off then braced myself.

My GOD, I hate this part of flying.

Looking around at my fellow passengers though, I seemed to be the only one riddled with fear. Something just didn’t feel right.

The plane continued to go through what I would deem to be some pretty turbulent air for what seemed like the longest fifteen minutes of my life. It was the kind of rough that made it feel like you were driving on a rocky road, not flying in the air at forty thousand feet.

I was internally freaking out but looking over at my seat mate, Jared, he seemed cool as a cumber.

Suddenly, the plane took a dive so steep it felt like we were being slapped out of the sky then the immediate pull as the pilots tried to control the descent.

Oh. My. God.

Everyone was wide awake now and I wasn't alone in my panic.

“This is bad...This is bad...” I mumbled more to myself than to anyone specific.

Jared sat up straighter, looking over at me. He raised the shade to look out the window, even Mr. Calm, Cool and Collected looked a bit nervous. If it wasn't for the bumping and bouncing around, it actually didn't look all that bad out, well lightening aside.

"I'm sure everything's fine." Jared tried to reassure me, the panic I was dealing with clearly written on my face.

“What? Look at that lightening...” I retorted as I leaned in to get a better view of what was happening outside the window, “You’re crazy.”

“It’s just a little pocket of weather. Don’t worry.”

Just as I was about to tell him that I hoped he was right, another backbreaking blow knocked us to the left, almost as if we were taking a sharp turn followed by another very quick decent.

“Holy shit.” Jared said, tightening his own seat belt.

"Flight attendants, take your seats and brace for sever turbulence." The pilot said over the intercom.

What the hell....weren’t we already going through sever turbulence?! I couldn’t imagine it being worse than this.

My heart was in my throat and my arms and legs were starting to tingle. I could feel my pulse racing as I watch the flight attendants scramble to secure everything before taking their seats and strapping in. For as much flying I have done, this is the worst I've ever had to deal with.

"It's not time to panic yet, these things can happen, Emery. Don't worry." Jared comforted, taking my hand in his and squeezing it firmly.

I thought he was going to let my hand go but he didn't. He kept holding it. Maybe he was trying to be sweet and thought I needed the comfort or maybe he needed a bit of comfort himself. Either way, I was grateful to have something other than my armrest to hold onto.

“Oh my God, I can’t believe this...” I cried, then another sharp decent, “Ahhh....Godddd, noooo...”

I felt like I was on a roller coaster, so much so, I almost screamed. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of a blast of lightning that lit the black sky through Jared’s window. As soon as I saw it, we immediately tilted to the right. Actually, tilted isn't even a strong enough word. I honestly felt like we were going to flip over.

“Ahhhhh!!!!!” I exclaimed, gripping Jared’s hand with both of my own.

At this point, if I could have crawled in Jared's lap and held onto him for dear life, I would have. All that kept going through my head was that I thought I was going to die and the only person I had was a man that drove me crazy from the minute I met him.

'Please let this be a quick death' rolled through my head. I was utterly terrified.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Captain speaking. We had a lightning strike to one of our engines. We’re making an emergency landing at the nearest airport which is Grand Rapids, Minnesota. Please remain calm and stay in your seats with your seat belts securely fastened. We will be landing shortly."

Looking over at Jared, he tried to reassure me, "See, it's okay, we'll be on the ground very soon. Don't worry, Emery." He held my hand throughout the entire bumpy landing and as we rolled stop in the middle of the runway.

Relief washed over me, we were finally on the ground. All the window shades were up and we watched in amazement as numerous emergency trucks and fire engines raced towards the airplane.

"See, I told you.” Jared said smiling, “Are you okay?"

I nodded my head 'yes' as I looked around the darkened cabin still somewhat frozen from fear, “I think so.”

"Okay, good. I'm going to let go now so I can find my bag. Are you sure you're okay?"

To be honest, in that moment, I didn't even realize I was still gripping his hand for dear life. I was just still so stunned at everything that happened my body needed to catch up.

"Yes, yes, of course, I'm sorry!" I said, embarrassed as I released his hand.

"It's fine. You can put a death grip on my hand anytime." He joked. Given the situation, I didn't find that very humorous and he could tell. "Poor choice of words, sorry."

While he looked gathered his things that were scattered all around us, I did the same.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we will be disembarking shortly. Please be careful when exiting the plane. In addition, leave all but your one personal belonging. All luggage is to stay on board and will be transferred to your connecting flight. Thank you for you patience."

Now that the danger was over, everyone on the plane seemed shaken but also amazingly calm. At least, until we filed into the terminal. From that moment on, it was mass chaos.

People were everywhere demanding answers and acting like assholes. I stood there in utter amazement. It was like everyone forgot they could have just died. What the hell is wrong with people?!

As it turns out, I missed the announcement that there would be no flights out tonight due to the severe weather. The earliest departing flights would be starting at seven o’clock tomorrow morning.

After what we just experienced, I couldn’t believe people were upset and wanted to get back in a plane again because I know I didn’t. My schedule was now shot to hell but hey, at least I'm still alive.

For as much experience as I had flying and with flight delays, I know I should have immediately called my assistant to find me a room somewhere. I’m going to blame the near death experience as the reason I didn’t have my wits about myself. Foolishly, after all this, I assumed the airline would insure each passenger had accommodations for the night since we were stuck so I wasn’t in a hurry to get in line along with everyone else.

Stupid, I know.

Looking around for Jared, I wanted to thank him but I didn’t see him anywhere so I made my way to the back of the line to reschedule my flight and figure out where I would be staying the night. That’s when I heard the announcement that there were no more hotel rooms available and that the airline would instead be comping airfare for future flight.

This simply was not my day.

This sucks. It's seems I better just find a chair because it's going to be an even longer night than I thought. I knew I could go up to the United Lounge but thought I'd wait down by the gate in case something changed. At least for a little while.

Plopping down in the nearest chair, I dug into my bag in search of my phone to call Emily. Hopefully she could work some magic. My head was down, buried in my phone when I suddenly I felt the chair next to me move.

"What are you waitin' around for?” Jared asked, “I would have thought you'd already left for the hotel."

Now I felt even more stupid.

"No, unfortunately, they ran out of rooms and I wasn't smart enough to call my assistant as soon as we landed. Looks like it's the United Lounge for me." I said with a little laugh, trying not to let him know how dumb I felt, “I was just about to head up there.”

"You can't stay here.” He said, looking around, “I got a room. I'll share it with you."

It was sweet of him to offer but I didn’t know if I could stay with him. I didn't know anything about him, other than he's annoying, sloppy and has no sense of personal space. It just didn’t seem like a good idea.

"No, really,” I told him, shaking my head, “It’s okay, I'm fine."

Turning in his seat towards me, I could tell he was shocked I’d turn him down.

"You'd rather stay here instead of sharing a room with me?" He scoffed, "I seem that bad, huh?"

Jared’s expression went from disbelief to indignant.

"No, it's not that at all.” I reassured him.

"Well, I have a bed and a couch. You're welcome to either which I think is a better offer than staying here but that's up to you." He stated as he stood up and started to walk away.

I was beginning to feel bad but then after this little display I thought, what an ass. He was just irritated I wasn't falling at his feet. He's extremely attractive so I'm sure he has his fair share of the ladies but seriously, talk about an ego.

He took a few steps away and I just shook my head. I thought ‘whatever dude’ and went back to my phone until I felt his presence in front of me.

"Look,” Jared sighed, “it's been a long day and a terrible flight to say the least. I'd like to help you out by giving you a place to crash and in return I get some company. I’m just trying to be nice but if you’re worried, I don't want anything from you. I'm not shady."

I wasn't completely buying this bit. I grew up in New York City and I live in LA, I've dealt with different degrees of shady all my life. You can’t blame a girl for being skeptical.

Just as I was about to shoot him down, I heard shouting and what sounded like things being thrown around. I stood up for a better view just in time to witness two fellow passengers throw down in the middle of the gate. Security came from all angels and were trying to break it up.

Maybe Jared's offer WAS the better idea.

"How about I promise not to invade your personal space.” Jared offered with a smirk, “At least, not unless you invite me to.”

"That won't happen,” I assured him, “just warning you now."

Jared held his hands up in mock surrender, “I’m a man of my word.”

Gathering my things, I was still unsure going to a hotel room with a total stranger was a good idea but it was a chance I was willing to take. The thought of a hot shower and a bed, he would be sleeping on the couch of course, sounded pretty fantastic at this point.

“Better be.” I told him, rolling my eyes.

Jared laughed and seemed very pleased with himself as we walked out of the terminal to hail a taxi. Despite the the late hour, we didn’t have a problem catching one. We were both exhausted but chatting was easy now that he dropped his sexy, flirty bullshit and acted more like a normal person. It was a short drive and within fifteen minutes we were both comfortable with each other as we arrived at the hotel.

“Here you are.” The driver said.

Before Jared could pull the money from his pocket, I was handing the fare to the driver, “Thank you!” I said, opening my door and getting out of the car.

Jared didn’t look happy when he got out, “I was gonna pay for that, ya know.”

“I wanted to. It’s the least I could do.” I smiled, stepping in front of him as I walked to the entrance with him following behind.

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