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diamondcrownacademy · 6 months

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DCA Info Part 3: The DCA Staff

🩵 Citrouille (シトルイユ, Shitoruiyu)

Twisted from: The Fairy Godmother from Cinderella

Citrouille is the headmistress of Diamond Crown Academy. She is a sweet old fairy with a grandmotherly nature who built the academy to nurture the girls to be pure of heart yet strong and assertive against adversaries. She made a proposal with Dire Crowley, the headmaster of Night Raven College to have the students visit for a school festival. Crowley agreed to the idea of giving the students a small break and officially made a schedule for the academy to attend Diamond Crown Academy's one week festival. She possesses very powerful magic, she has the entire school grounds enchanted with protection magic to protect the students from malicious intent.

Relationships with the Night Raven College Staff

Crowley and Citrouille actually knew each other in the past, he is always a gentleman to the old fairy and she would sometimes dote on him like a grandson. Although DCA isn't as famous as NRC and RSA, they are still known for their academics and the variety of studies for their students. Crowley respects and idolizes the academy and would sometimes wish the troublesome boys of NRC would follow their example.

Relationships with the Night Raven College Dorm Leaders

- She would get along with Idia the most as she would give him candy and would be at ease with him.

- Malleus will recognize Citrouille since Lilia mentioned meeting her at some point. Citrouille remembers meeting Malleus when he was a wee lad. So, she is the only one out of them all who strikes a conversation. Reminiscing on how tiny he was and how he grew into such a lovely young man. Malleus will keep the old fairy company and would drop in hints that he was always left uninvited to events in the school.

💛 Puchi (プチ, Puchi)

Puchi is a magical dog-like creature who serves as Diamond Crown Academy's guide and guardian. Despite his pastel and girly appearance, he can be quite stubborn and a bit rough too. The students like to pamper him on occasion. Puchi is a monster like Grim, but unlike Grim, he was made in a cauldron that resulted in his monster egg being created. His egg shell is displayed in the academy museum. He wields great magic that makes him a trojan horse because most of his opponents would let their guards down and underestimate his cuteness. He knows he's adorable and uses it to his advantage like getting the students to shower him with sweets and candy. He loves to sleep on the headmistress' lap in the afternoon and is very organized and well-mannered unless provoked. He also loves anything that's cute and he's not afraid to throw paws if someone tries to ridicule him for liking something, "girly".

Relationships with the Night Raven College Dorm Leaders

- Riddle thinks that Puchi would be a troublemaker like Grim but he's surprised that the pastel pup was much more likeable and even offers to correct the students having trouble with rules by making a very organized handbook that has all 810 rules sorted and categorized by context, time and number. Riddle envies the DCA students for having such a reliable mascot. He spoils Puchi with an unbirthday party.

- Leona thinks he wouldn't survive a day in Savanaclaw. But he was wrong, Puchi somehow managed to put the rowdy students in line which made the dorm more peaceful and quieter, therefore Ruggie and Leona want to keep him as a permanent resident.

- Puchi won't like how sneaky Azul is but its not his place to interfere with what Azul does in the dorm. Azul would definitely use his cuteness to raise the sales for Monstro Lounge. Puchi likes the decor for Monstro Lounge but if he spots any sign of trouble, you bet he'd help out.

- In the case of Kalim, Puchi would be greeted with a party. He'd feel so honored and pampered, Kalim is now his favorite student. Puchi would feel sad to leave Scarabia because he doesn't want to leave Kalim. Kalim feels the same way, clingling to the puppy crying while Jamil has to pry him off Puchi.

- Vil would dress Puchi up, no doubt about it. All the cute frills and the glitter that Puchi loves so much. Puchi likes it that Vil can tell what his style is. These two would be the divas, Vil likes Puchi because he can appreciate a hard worker. And Puchi can admire the way Vil takes care of himself and the level of confidence he has.

- Idia likes cats but maybe he'd like Puchi since he looks so cute colorful. A contrast to his dark environment. Puchi would be scared at first cause there's this grinning young man with fiery blue hair looking at him like he wants to eat him. After clearing up the misunderstanding, Idia would want pictures of Puchi being cute so he has an album compiled for it.

- The first thing Malleus thinks, is that Puchi looks like something out of a Tamagotchi. He wants to squish and cuddle him, but he's worried he might scare Puchi off. Don't worry, after Lilia discreetly mentions how he isn't invited because people forget to do so, Puchi will be on him like glue. Malleus is happy, he looks like he's scowling but that's just him feeling his heart clench as he stares at Puchi's big blue eyes.

Unique Magic

His unique magic is called "Magic Stamp" (マジック・スタンプ) He can summon a stamp to mark someone with a sigil that will hex them with a rather bizarre curse.

❤️ Florence (フローレンス, Furōrensu)

Twisted from: Flora from Sleeping Beauty

Florence is the eldest of the three fairy brothers who teaches Basic Etiquette and Ancient Rune Reading. He has a gentlemanly charm to him that makes him approachable. He has a huge obsession with roses and loves to put it in every outfit he wears. If students gift him flower crowns, he will be in a good mood for the entire day. He reminds the students that gender doesn't limit their abilities. Often looks after the flower gardens in the academy. He will cry for hours when winter comes and his precious flowers wilt due to the frost. He argues with Asher over the smallest things. And sometimes they both end up wrestling each other which is hilarious for some of the staff and students and the students even have a secret chat on keeping records of their arguments. They make memes out of them and he is unaware of this.

Relationships with the Night Raven College Staff

- Mozus would criticize him and Asher for constantly fighting each other.

- Florence additionally dislikes the lack of flowers. He's neutral on everyone but he might take a liking to Divus because he likes his fashion sense. He might even ask him to attack Asher with his crop.

Relationships with the Night Raven College Dorm Leaders

- While Vil would most likely want to get to know the three fairies since their sense of style caught his eye. But Florence would be the one to indulge him in his fashion secrets. Florence would be impressed with Vil's amazing skills in producing his own beauty products. These two would definitely face time each other on the latest gossip and style.

- Riddle, would initially hate how he and Asher would bicker constantly for the most trivial of reasons. If he were to have them as teachers, he won't hesitate to use Off With Your Head on them if it gets them to stop acting like a bunch of toddlers.

💚 Faustus (ファウストゥス, Fausuto~usu)

Twisted from: Fauna from Sleeping Beauty

Faustus is the middle child of the fairy brothers who teaches Animal Linguistics, Music and Alchemy. He has a fatherly nature to him. He has an excellent voice that attracts animals sometimes. He is open to any musical genre and at some point he has that rockstar phase that he threatens his brothers NOT to tell anyone. He has a gift for horticulture and is able to grow rare plants easily. Very passive when it comes to his brothers arguing so he just takes a picture discreetly and send it to the secret chat. He is actually the one who started the group chat. He is very bad at cooking that after an incident that involved him trying to make a cake, Asher permanently banned him from using the kitchen.

Relationships with the Night Raven College Staff

Faustus is forced to talk to Mozus, because he is kept on the spot and is asked questions about what his cat is saying. He is trying to be polite and would be stuck until Mozus is done. Mozus is fine with speaking to Faustus, as he can have conversations on what his cat thinks.

Relationships with the Night Raven College Dorm Leaders

Faustus would want to have Azul sing the pieces he wrote. He wants to see what the boy can do. His students are excellent at singing but if Azul sang, he'd be screaming through the roof. The fairy would insist that if he had time, he should sing with his students. But with Azul being so busy, might not be able to. But he will support Faustus as an online audience, Azul is more than aware of the great composer's reputation.

💙 Asher (アッシャー, Asshā)

Twisted from: Merryweather from Sleeping Beauty

Asher is the youngest of the three fairy brothers who teaches General Magic and Study of Magical Relics. He has a bit of blunt honesty to him. He isn't afraid to call someone out to make a point. He would throw hands if Faustus or Florence weren't holding him back. If he gets physical with Florence, he would roast his long hair and call him out on a LOT of embarrassing things that would make his brother's face shame the red, red rose. He even goes so far as to pull pranks on Florence. He is very supportive of his students and is very protective of them as well. If the students are facing a problem, he would most likely tell them to be as savage as they can be, but they should roast with the utmost politeness and dignity to make it more effective. He permanently banned Faustus from using the kitchen after an incident with a cake.

Relationships with the Night Raven College Staff

Asher is neutral on the NRC staff and think something is fishy with Headmaster Crowley. He would want to keep himself away from Divus at all costs because he dislikes the vibe he gives off.

Relationships with the Night Raven College Dorm Leaders

Malleus will recognize Asher and his brothers because Lilia fondly remembers messing with them in the past. He and Florence immediately stagger when Malleus comes over. Faustus will scold them to be more polite and tries to hold a conversation and be gracious despite his shaking knees. Asher holds a grudge against Lilia for playing pranks on him, but since he's in Malleus' dorm he won't try to argue in fear for the boy's power.

💜 Duchess Caterine (ダッチェス・カテリン, Datchesu Katerin)

Twisted from: Duchess from The Aristocats

Duchess Caterine is the professor who teaches Magic History and Incantations. She is a sweet woman who has a gentle approach to her. She the mother of three children who are excellent in different talents and on occasion visit the academy to pay their mother visits. She is an aristocrat who can turn into a cat at will. Though she doesn't shift as much since she has to maintain her ladylike image. But she shifts into cat form to unwind and be pampered by the students for a bit. She is additionally oblivious of the PE coach's crush on her. And the staff find it amusing to see the burly satyr blush in front of her.

Relationships with the Night Raven College Staff

Ashton and Divus will on occasion flirt with Duchess, with the former adoring her fashion sense and would use the "fashion excuse" to get close to her. Duchess is however unaware of the chaos and the flirting that happens. She would certainly just be the polite and graceful person she is, catching more eyes and possibly hearts in the process.

Relationships with the Night Raven College Dorm Leaders

- Leona is neutral about the whole thing, except when Duchess came over to converse with him and being the good boi he is, is very polite and a bit shy with the woman. Duchess becomes his favorite teacher when she talks about him and wants to know what he does despite knowing he's royalty. She didn't ask about his brother even once. This brings such joy to him; he could feel his heart grow three time its size but he won't show it. With Duchess having three children, she never leaves one in the shadows, and her recognizing Leona's talents will catch them off guard.

- Vil might also like Duchess as her motherly nature would warm his heart and he'd be a total gentleman. Duchess appreciates a young man with excellent manners, would probably dote on him.

🧡 Actius (アクティウス, Akutiusu)

Twisted from: Philoctetes from Hercules

Actius is a satyr who's in charge of the Physical Education classes and he trains the students as if they were going to war, stating that times have changed and that girls need to train to be like heroes too. He has a bit of a crush on Miss Duchess Caterine. Though he is a satyr, he treats the students as if they were his own daughters, but he won't go easy on them during training, because he wants the girls to be confident not just in studies but also in combat. He has a deep hatred of the coach and students of Royal Sword Academy because of their misogynistic nature, with the students going so far as to mock the girls by calling them, “damsels in distress”, that set him off and started this rivalry with that coach to show them that strength isn't limited to gender. The students sometimes leave some aged wine for him as thanks, he gets teary eyed but won't admit it because he needs to keep a tough persona.

Relationships with the Night Raven College Staff

- Actius and Ashton would butt heads because Ashton will challenge him and say outright that the boys can overpower the girls if they ever have a match. Also Ashton flirting with Duchess will set him off so damn hard that he's tempted to charge at the buff man like a bull.

- Divus better get rid of the red in his outfit, Actius will charge him too. Divus would not like Actius because he has a cloth tied to his waist as his "outfit", his hooves make a loud clicking noise on the floor tiles which annoys him so much and his goat hair would get on his expensive fur coat and he would hate that.

Relationships with the Night Raven College Dorm Leaders

- Actius would admire Riddle's strictness, though would sometimes be a bit shocked at the reasons he would punish his dorm tenants. He'd encourage Riddle and train him to the best of his abilities because he sees a fire in the boy's eyes. Epel would be jealous, he wants to be trained by Actius too.

- He's also always wanted to try the wine in the Country of Hot Sands, and Kalim is oh so gracious to provide him with the best ones in his father's wine cabinet.

🤍 MG Genie (MG・ジーニー, MG Jīnī)

Twisted from: The Genie from Aladdin

MG Genie is a genie who lived a long life and his lamp was passed down onto many owners. Until he was found by the headmistress who immediately wished for his freedom. He later became the owner of the school shop, which is named Golden Wishes and he refurbished his lamp to become a storage place and house for him. He provides almost all the items the students need. He always talks about celebrities and showbiz to the students, reminiscing his early years. The students like hearing the tales of his previous owners and what they wished for. He also loves to party and would throw parties in the most bizarre places. Allison often finds his parties through the doors of Futterwacken.

Relationships with the Night Raven College Staff

MG Genie would hang around with Sam and they'd talk business. Since MG has access to rarities that are usually expensive to obtain. Sam will take the opportunity. Also he'd also like Divus because he digs the monochrome style.

Relationships with the Night Raven College Dorm Leaders

- Azul would most likely have a small chat with MG Genie. He's a calculating businessman and seeing that MG has access to all the valuables. He'd want to keep this genie in his list of business partners. MG knows what's up, he's no fool so he's sure to work his way around Azul. He thinks the young boy has a cunning vibe to him.

- MG Genie would also develop a fondness for Kalim as both are party animals and will plan such extravagant and big parties. Kalim is now officially a VIP guest if he ever stumbles upon MG's finest party venues. Jamil won't have to worry because MG cleans everything up with a snap of his fingers.

#DCA info #general information #diamond crown academy

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widowshill · 8 months

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navigation.

MUSES.

THE MATRIARCH. elizabeth collins stoddard. dark shadows. dossier. ic. THE PRODIGAL. roger collins. dark shadows. dossier. ic. THE GOVERNESS. victoria winters. dark shadows. dossier. ic. verses. THE LOVER. josette dupres. dark shadows. dossier. ic. THE SAILOR. lt. nathan forbes. dark shadows. dossier. ic. request: THE BYRONIC. captain bartholomew gore. the haunted mansion. dossier. ic. THE PROPRIETRESS. eleanor guthrie. black sails. dossier. ic. THE STARLET. magdalena temor. tower of terror. oc. dossier. ic.

BLOG NAV.

➤ meme. ┊ have your ghosts been talking to you? ➤ meme responses. ┊ boo ! ➤ answered. ┊ Collinsport 4099. ➤ edits & art. ┊ the evans cottage art gallery. ➤ atmosphere. ┊ welcome to the beginning and the end of the world. ➤ queue. ┊ the devils of a forgotten time have found their home. ➤ ooc. ┊ she’s nauseous，she’s hysterical，and she’s exhausted. ➤ music. ┊ the blue whale jukebox.

CHARACTER TAGS.

➤ roger collins. ┊ I and my ghosts want a drink. ➤ elizabeth collins stoddard. ┊ I belong to the house. the house belongs to me. ➤ victoria winters. ┊ because she’s lost and lonely. because she looks in shadows. ➤ josette dupres. ┊ it was a scent，not just any，it was hers: jasmine，seabreeze mixed. ➤ lieutenant nathan forbes. ┊ to death，the best of all possible worlds. ➤ captain bartholomew gore. ┊ there is no world beyond，it seems，only the waves and the wind. ➤ magdalena temor. ┊ I am queen of all my sins forgotten. am I still lost? once I was beautiful. now I am myself. ➤ eleanor guthrie. ┊ and it does not prosper，that sort of love. the love that a man can bear for his soil，his little kingdom.

RELATIONSHIPS: ROGER.

➤ roger collins & victoria winters. ┊ pain sometimes precedes pleasure，miss winters. ➤ roger collins & burke devlin. ┊ call me a sinner，mock me maliciously; I was your sleeplessness，I was your grief. ➤ roger collins & david collins. ┊ when the foundation’s laid so badly the whole house tilts，the sons inherit … grief. ➤ roger collins & elizabeth collins stoddard. ┊ how can I? these walls are my skin. this room is my heart. besides，I have a sister. ➤ roger collins & laura murdoch collins. ┊ to tell me that I had already a wife is empty mockery. ➤ roger collins & cassandra blair collins. ┊ incapable of love，of tenderness，of decency. she was not even normal. ➤ roger collins & carolyn stoddard. ┊ I didn’t know you had the choice.

RELATIONSHIPS: VICTORIA.

➤ burke devlin & victoria winters. ┊ look at me，what a soft thing i have become. so much of me is about you now. ➤ barnabas collins & victoria winters. ┊ I live in your warm life，and you shall die––die，sweetly die––into mine. ➤ maximilian de winter & victoria winters. ┊ I do love him so … his dreadful energy，and his blind，frustrated rages. ➤ anthony j. crowley & victoria winters. ┊ because I prayed this word: I want. ➤ victoria winters & carolyn stoddard. ┊ here，alone with you，I can’t pretend. ➤ victoria winters & david collins. ┊ the important thing is you and me. ➤ victoria winters & maggie evans. ┊ we rise graceful and resilient as flowers growing through the stone. ➤ arc: mrs. collins. ┊ collinwood will always mean home to me.

RELATIONSHIPS: ELIZABETH.

➤ elizabeth collins stoddard & annette ‘ned’ calder. ┊ only in that one way. ➤ elizabeth collins stoddard & betty hanscombe. ┊ death always comes more than once. every wound is both itself and its reflection. ➤ elizabeth collins stoddard & carolyn stoddard. ┊ persephone belonged to her mother. that was demeter’s gift to herself.

RELATIONSHIPS: JOSETTE

➤ josette dupres & jeremiah collins. ┊ learn the rapture of that cruelty，which yet is love. ➤ josette dupres & barnabas collins. ┊ but to die as lovers may –– to die together，so that they may live together. ➤ victoria winters & josette dupres. ┊ the dead after all，do not walk backwards but they do walk behind us.

AFFILIATIONS.

➤ collinwood. ┊ then who shall tear the curse from their blood? the house is glued to ruin. ➤ re: barnabas collins. ┊ luring me to a past that never was. this is the treachery. ➤ re: dr. julia hoffman. ┊ you're not blessed，or divine，or burdened. you're a science experiment. ➤ re: maggie evans. ┊ a peach tree growing in a coffee can. ➤ re: angélique bouchard collins. ┊ lovely-eyed. death-touched. witch. ➤ re: nicholas blair. ┊ I hate to bother you，but I am talking about evil. it blooms. it eats. it grins. ➤ re: burke devlin. ┊ I am stranded in a hungerland of great prosperity. ➤ re: carolyn stoddard. ┊ never the same girl twice. ➤ re: david collins. ┊ he's just been afflicted with the family disease. he's been seeing ghosts. ➤ re: laura murdoch collins. ┊ I want to watch a girl on fire with ruin on her lips. I want to see everything burn. ➤ re: joe haskell. ┊ on two wheels in the land of vampires. ➤ re: chris jennings. ┊ the wolfsong is the sound of the rending you will suffer，in itself a murdering. ➤ re: bill malloy. ┊ just the water. it pays us，and then it claims us，swallows us whole. ➤ re: quentin collins. ┊ merely a man of larger expectations than life has hitherto offered me. ➤ re: paul stoddard. ┊ then mourn not for thy husband's loss too much，nor waste thyself away.

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lovelyjasmari · 2 years

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Twisted Wonderland Reaction Part 12 ~ Sallie Mae Made Jamil Overblot Edition + Announcement!

About the title...yeah...its in reference to an EXTREMELY stupid ass joke found in this post...you’ll see...

I must say, even though I already read all of book 4 on my own, it’s still a fun treat reading it in EN simply for all the meme-able content the official translations offer! Since it seems like there won’t be any story updates this month, I’ve decided to continue reading book 5 on my own this weekend. There is also another reason I’m going ahead:

Over on my blog @jasmariswonderland I’m working on a mock event story with my twst ocs! The story takes place during the events of book 5 and is sort of a side story showing that some of my characters are up to during. So of course I need to finish reading for context but that shouldn’t take long since I don’t have to worry abt battles, twistunes or overblots. 😅

In the meantime, let’s finish up book 4! Warning: pic heavy, some swearing, some personal projection/mentions of my past, meme-ing, yelling at the Tweels and thirsting for ya’ll-already-fucking-know-who. Let’s jump in!

If we must, Jade. If we must...

WHY ARE YA’LL ALWAYS SO SUS! EVEN WHEN BEING NICE?!

LIKE YOU DID DURING THE END OF BEANFEST?! 💀

Heyyy! Shoutout to my namesake princess! Also off topic, but cyan is one of my personal favorite colors and I would love to cosplay Princess Jasmine one day when I’m thinner.

KALIM! Don’t do it! Runnnn!

Goddamnit, now I have a new ship...😩👀💀

“Forbidden lore”... whatever Azul! Tell that to all the wonderful artists over on twst twitter! 😭

God as much as the Tweels amuse me, if I were around them as much as Azul, I’d probably have to sleep with one eye open. Doesn’t help that they’d probably eat Azul if they could. Such an odd dynamic, I love it! 💜

Awwe his chibi is doing the glasses thing! 🥺🥺🥺

Jokes aside, I REALLY wanna know Crowley’s secret. Like this man oozes with sus sauce, moreso than any of these beautiful bastards going to NRC. WHY isn’t he trying to find a way to send us home?! WHY does his school suck so hard compared to RSA?! WHY do the students hate each other?! WHAT IS THIS FUCKING BIRD MAN DOING?! YES! DO IT JAMIL! EXPOSE CROWLEY! Yuulan would probably thank you!

Orrrrr, ya’ll can just cancel him. That works too...NOT! 😤

FUCKING JUMPSCARE!!! 🤬😭💀😩🤣

Thanks Azul, I hate it!

Intellectuals tend to be dastardly too, you know! 😤

Uhhhhh...that doesn’t look like a good sign Kalim...

THIS WILL FUCKING HAPPEN:

So...I was gonna retake this shot but I BARELY managed to defeat his first OB stage and the more I looked at this pic, the more it made me laugh for some twisted reason. To the point when I was debating weather to do his fight again just to retake it, my bf kept saying “looks like Sallie Mae made Jamil overblot...”

I know...we have an...odd sense of humor.

Sallie Mae aside, another cool as hell overblot design. All these designs for the overblots are so cool and now I’m even more excited about seeing that Vil’s looks like. But also terrified cause I feel like his will probably be WAY more difficult than this one.

YEEEEEEETTTTTTTT

What’s hilarious about these official translations is when they do speak clear english but the localization team still translates it into something else. It was especially noticeable during the culinary crucible event and its EXTREMELY obvious here! 😭😭😭

And as always, Yuulan continues to be iconic...

Poor Kalim, this really made me sad. I really feel like he didn’t mean anything malicious. He’s just too sweet and too good for this twisted (punch me) world.

SHUT UP YUULAN NOW IS NOT THE TIME

WHAT THE TRASH CAT SAID

Jesus fuck Jade! You’re charming but Jesus fuck! But seriously though, I respect it. With that smile, you can be certain no one would be able to find the body...

THIS IS WHY I DON’T LIKE YOU NO MORE AZUL (joking, please don’t come for me Azul stans)! Jamils gonna fucking die soon if we don’t do something and all you’re thinking abt is exploiting developing nations for a quick buck! FOR SHAME!

Aaaaand once again, we as the fans have been cheated of seeing Azul in his octopus form without having to overblot...😭

All that’s missing from this scene is for the boys and Yuulan to be in sexy red harem outfits...👀

If he can’t do it, GREAT!!!

This face is particularly creepy tho. 😳

Why am I not surprised this fucking bird man was willing to take bribes? This is probably why your school is so messed up (affectionately).

Okay! Time to get personal for a moment! Up until this point, I’ve had a certain level of sympathy for all the overblot boys and Jamil is no different. But Jamil’s sad story hit me especially hard because I was recently forced to sever ties with a group of toxic friends who, for more than decade, were the only friends I really had. And my relationship with them was a lot like what Jamil has with Kalim. Without going into much detail, I realize in hindsight that there was a lot of uncheckhed envy on everyone’s part but especially against me. I was made to defer to another friend who, for reasons, had to be better than me at everything. What made things worse was that our other friends were pressuring me to defer to them and yet actively compared me to them every chance they got.

One of the reasons I’ve been hesitant to continue reading book 5 is because even though I’m only a third of the way in, I can already sense that Vil has a similar dynamic with Neige as I had with this friend of mine and the parallels are even more clear to me. I hate to use this word but it’s been extremely triggering to me because these friends left me in an extremely venerable position that has only fed into my obsession with perfection and my self hatred. I have no friends at this point in my life and my creative pursuits are what bring me joy these days but one thing I’ve really appreciated and loved about Twisted Wonderland is the writing and how layered the characters are. That I can see my traumas in this story makes me feel strangely validated. I know that’s a pathetic thing to say but it’s true.

OKAY PERSONAL SHIT OVER! LETS CONTINUE!

🥺🥺🥺

Floyd, sweetie, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but please shut up before I pull out my stick again... (affectionately)

OOF! That’s all I can say, hell, that’s all I COULD say when I first read this! 😂

Daaaaammmnnnnnnnnn this is actually pretty awesome! And true.

Awweeee, this is so sweet. You two have really grown on me since the first time we met in the prologue. We’re all officially besties and it’s awesome! Even if you two do act like airheads sometimes...

But I’d love to know what public transportation is like in this world. Are there planes? Even though brooms are a thing. I’m sure boats are a thing since most of the land are isles, but yeah, I’m curious now.

Unlike Crowley, who DID...

And yet, you’re smiling...❤❤❤

Awwe, they were worried too!

Oh, hi Lilia. Fancy seeing you he...LILIA?!?!

Please don’t, and for the love of god, PUT THOSE FUCKING FANGS AWAY!!! 👀

Though I wish he hadn’t vanished so quickly, I would have happily invited Malleus to our feast, Lilia too! 💚

Also, I feel for Mal probably on his knees praying to the Great Seven that we wouldn’t figure out that M.D. stood for Malleus Draconia. Since he probably couldn’t sign the card Tsunotaro without Lilia interrogating him about it. Or worse, Sebek having a hissy fit abt someone daring to call Malleus such a name. 😭

OH GOD THE RAT IS BACK

THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?! WHAT DOES ANY OF THAT MEAN?!

Oh God...OH FUCK! OHHHH FUCKKKKK! Does that mean...? Could that possibly mean?? 👀👀💙💙👀👀💙

APPLE CHILD! My sweet apple child! His birthday is coming up soon too! 💙

Where’s my stick...

NOOOOO! Don’t cry, Epel! Please don’t cry! And the “dagnabbit” is adorably funny! I wasn’t gonna pull for Epel’s birthday card but I lowkey want to just to see how EN will translate that one part of his birthday story where he completely goes into his dialect.

Anywhoo, please don’t cry, Epel! Who would dare make my sweet apple child cry?! Cause the second I find them, me and my stick are gonna...

...oh...oh...nevermind...I’ll just put this stick down and see myself out...*backs away slowly*

FUUUUUCCCKKKK! THERE HE IS THERE HE IS THERE HE IS MY DARLING HANDSOME SEXY SUS-AS-FUCK HUNTER!!! 💙💙💙

Aaaannndddd, I’m back on my Rook-thirst bullshit again. Sorry Epel, you’re on your own for now. When Rook comes on screen, my better judgement leaves me out the opposite window! And with that, let me end this before I get too far in my Pomefiore flailing. Yeah...🤣🤣🤣

#twisted wonderland #jas reads twst #long post #SHUT UP JAS

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mittensmorgul · 3 years

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Hi Mittens! Happy holidays! I love your meta and I had a question: I've seen you make a couple posts about Miracle lately, and while I'm definitely angry at canon replacing Cas with a dog, I was kind of taken aback at some of your comments about Dean and dogs (specifically how much you seem to hate that combination; I've never felt strongly about it one way or the other). Do you have a tag or post about your feelings on Dean and dogs? Or could you explain in a little more detail, please?

Hi hi!

Dean... has never been associated positively with dogs on this show-- up to and including that scene in Scoobynatural where he does the SCOOBYDOOBYDOOOOO! and Cas rolls his eyes and tells him flat out he’s not a talking dog. I mean, even in one of Sam’s heaven memories, he’s effectively replaced Dean with a dog... so while Dean was being implied-harshly-punished by John for “losing” Sam, Sam had been having the time of his life with a dog instead... Sorry, I’ve got a lot of resentment for dog symbolism in the show...

Cas has also been associated with dogs in a lot of... let’s go with derogatory comments, and since this dog in the finale was SPECIFICALLY a replacement for Cas in Dean’s life... I find it particularly insulting, you know?

5.14: We get dog comments about Cas and Dean both in this ep. Famine refers to Cas as Dean’s dog... “You sicced your dog on me, I threw him a steak.” And we see Cas crouched on the ground eating meat. Earlier in this ep, Sam teased Dean about his lack of any “appetite” for anything with the comment, “when a dog doesn't eat-- That's when you know something's really wrong.“

7.21: after being banished, he reappears at a dog track, where the dogs were unhappy. so... Cas was basically just another unhappy dog in this part of the story.

10.22: Rowena compares Cas to a “dog who thinks he’s people” for being an angel who rejected heaven and chose his family with the Winchesters.

10.23-11.03: Cas is literally under a spell referred to as “Attack Dog,” which he fights against but is slowly turning him into a killing machine. He seeks help from Heaven, but they only want to use him, to torture information out of him and then kill him once they get what they want. It’s implied he even kills a dog in 11.01.

11.06: when Cas is in the bunker still suffering from trauma related to the attack dog spell, lying in bed and watching tv, he changes the channel to a news story about a dog riding a skateboard, and the newscaster uses Rowena’s line from 10.22: “Aw, that dog thinks it’s people!”

12.19: Lucifer refers to Cas as the Winchesters’ “purse dog,” and s12 is littered with dog references, especially between Lucifer and Crowley (which started back in s11 when Lucifer was using Cas’s vessel and treating Crowley like a dog... there’s a lot of negative baggage attached to dogs on this show)

13.16: Scooby is obviously the one dog Dean’s okay with, having positive childhood associations with him. But when comparing themselves to the scooby gang, Sam says they don’t have a talking dog, and Dean replies that Cas is sort of like a talking dog... which is interesting because at the end of the episode Cas tells Dean he’s NOT a talking dog. And this, in a scene that was directly foreshadowing Dean becoming Michael’s suit...again, more negative baggage for both of them.

The Dean vs Dogs imagery really kicks in when Dean’s soul is destined for Hell in s3, though.

3.10: In his rant to his dream self, Dream!Dean accuses Dean of being as “mindless and obedient as an attack dog,” just a few lines before he gives the “daddy’s blunt little instrument” line that Cas reminded us of in 15.18. So I do think this is something that the writers couldn’t possibly have been unaware of in invoking that specific line and the specific baggage attached to it.

3.11, one of the MANY deaths Dean suffers is from a seemingly nice dog he tries to pet in a friendly manner. The nice golden retriever mauls him to death, like the hellhounds are due to do to him in just a few short episodes...

3.16: literally torn apart by hellhounds... don’t know how else to make it clear that Dean Is Not A Fan of this.

4.06: suffering from Ghost Sickness, and being magically forced to experience heightened levels of fear, he runs from a lil Yorkie with a bow in its hair, pausing only long enough to warn another person on the street to run before it kills them. We are invited to see how his biggest fear-- of Lilith, of being tortured in Hell, and having been dragged there by hellhounds-- is literally tied to his feelings toward actual dogs, including nonthreatening little lap dogs.

6.01: When Dean falls under the djinn’s spell, he hallucinates an unseen monster, presumably something akin to a hellhound, but when he thinks he’s caught the monster, it’s the neighbor’s Yorkie. Just like in 4.05, Dogs, Hellhounds, and Things Dean Fears In His Soul are all tangled up together.

6.08: aka that one episode I forget exists until it comes back around on the loop (actually I don’t forget it exists anymore, I’ve seen the show too many times at this point, but meh...). But it does plant this fear, that any dog anywhere might not really be a dog. The “sleeper cell” skinwalker packs in cities all over the world? Yeah, not a happy thought for someone who really doesn’t like dogs. Or at the very least has a low-key fear of them.

7.15: I would qualify this one as just “symbolism,” but since this episode is full of anvils, it feels legit to mention that the spell Jeffrey uses to summon his demon back to him involves using Dean’s blood and a dog’s heart. Not really a dean/fear thing, but Dean AS a dog-- and a sacrificed dog at that.

8.01: When Dean gets back from Purgatory, he gets in the Impala and smells dog. Bringing on the famous rule that he’s quite angry about Sam having clearly violated even when he wasn’t on the same plane of existence at the time-- No dogs in the car. He’s still clearly not a fan. Early s8 becomes a long string of “Sam hit a dog” comments, too.

8.15: for all this episode’s grossness, it does remind us over and over again that Dean really does not like dogs. Even flat out having Dean say he likes dogs, and the woman who literally is a dog familiar tells him that no, he doesn’t.

9.05: Dean... is basically a dog. He bonds with the Colonel a bit, even identifies with the dog while he’s under the spell, but all that good will that built up between them effectively shatters again with the ominous last words he gets before the spell wears off and the knowledge that dogs were not created to be man’s best friend, but had some other-- and in this context seemingly sinister-- purpose.

And then we have every other ep that deals with Hellhounds, Dean’s failure to kill one leading to Sam taking on the trials instead of him, tied up in their mutual discussion of what they see as their respective futures-- Sam wants to live, and he wants Dean to live, too, instead of Dean constantly running toward death and self-sacrifice. So like, these themes are all tied up together, and makes all the dog stuff incredibly not fun when it comes to Dean specifically.

So when Dean does lose Cas-- and everyone else on the planet-- the dog being the ONE living being they’ve found, Dean picking her up and putting her in “Cas’s place” in the car, only to have Chuck snap her away like she was a manipulative trick the entire time? Not even really real, just one more thing to give Dean a tiny bit of hope only to maliciously snatch it away again?

And then for the SINGLE thing Dean asked for from Chuck being to bring Cas back?

And then he doesn’t get Cas back, but apparently kidnaps this random dog instead?

It’s just... indescribably weird to me, and so entirely out of character and insulting to Cas on top of it all. Like this was the only happiness Dean was allowed after saving the universe. No found extended family, no life outside of Sam and hunting, no dream of retiring and finding a beach to sink his toes in the sand for a little while. He just gets a dog, which he canonically doesn’t like and has a lot of issues with for entirely understandable reasons. So like.. .how is this cute or happy or nice?

#dean vs dogs #spn 15.20 #i'm sorry the dog thing is just making me irrationally angry on dean's behalf but dammit it's just gross to me #Anonymous

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northeasternwind · 5 years

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mutual presumed dead mourning 1/2

Oh wait posts with links don’t appear in the tags.

Oh well I guess I have to post it wholesale FIC WHERE AZ ACCIDENTALLY FREES HASTUR WHEN HE CALLS CROWLEY AND HASTUR MANAGES TO FOOL BOTH HIM AND CROWLEY INTO THINKING THE OTHER IS PERMANENTLY DEAD

~~~

Aziraphale does not manage to call Crowley before Shadwell interrupts him, and this changes everything. It takes a small miracle and a large wad of cash to send Shadwell off none the wiser, but Aziraphale manages it without stepping into the circle and discorporating himself. In the moment he considers this a success, though later he will wonder if he couldn’t have spared them all some unnecessary heartache if he had failed.

Aziraphale inches carefully around the circle, returns to the shop’s phone, and dials his best friend.

He has, for better or for worse, wasted too much time.

“Crowley!” he cries, once the line goes live. He can’t wait a second longer to begin his apology, which is a shame, because he might have thought better of his next words in that case. “Crowley, I know where the Antichrist is—”

“Do you?”

Aziraphale is shocked into silence. This is not Crowley’s voice, unless Crowley’s voice has become deeper and more menacing since they last spoke in front of the bookshop.

“Excuse me,” he says, slightly baffled. “To whom am I speaking?”

The answer is a sinister laugh. “So you’re the infamous Aziraphale,” the voice goes on, apparently ignoring him. Ah, must be a—

Oh dear. Must be a demon.

The forces of Hell have figured out it was my fault.

Aziraphale feels the beat of his body’s heart quicken, a cold feeling settling in the pit of his stomach. Crowley said he was running away— but he also said he was going home first. He might not have been home, and for now Aziraphale decides to cling to that, because the alternative is… dangerous.

“I do believe you are breaking and entering,” he says with some asperity, mind working furiously. Aziraphale has occasionally met with his superiors in his bookshop, but Crowley would never invite other demons into his flat, and so he is quite confident in this conclusion. But that still leaves Aziraphale with a demon in Crowley’s flat, and Crowley not there, and no explanation for either of those truths except what his imagination can provide.

“Well, we did ring the doorbell first.”

Aziraphale has nothing to say to that. That’s actually rather polite of them.

“I’d like a change of scenery, though,” the voice continues. “And I’d also like to meet Crowley’s little pigeon friend.”

“Oh dear,” Aziraphale says, out loud this time.

A maggot wiggles its way out of the receiver. He’d been expecting it, but Aziraphale still lets out a rather unangelic yelp and backs away, hastily inching back around the circle as an avalanche of writhing insects and larvae come pouring from the phone, building in a great mound that stretches its fingers out toward Aziraphale—

At least until it hits the circle, at which point some of the maggots squeal and sizzle away, and the mound collapses in on itself and grows until it is shaped like a man instead of a pile of fly children.

(Aziraphale will wonder, later, why Hastur transformed into maggots instead of, say, tadpoles. Perhaps he and Beelzebub switched.)

The newly formed demon takes a slow, deliberate look around, and Aziraphale quietly takes the opportunity to unlock the door behind him. Black eyes with a frog on his head— this must be Hastur, the demon that destroyed the records at Tadfield Manor, and the subject of many of Crowley’s multiple complaints about Hell and its inhabitants.

There was a demon in Crowley’s flat. Now there is a demon in Aziraphale’s bookshop.

Hastur sneers. “You don’t look like much. Why does Crowley bother with you?”

Aziraphale’s chances of teasing information out of Hastur subtly before violence occurs are looking rather slim, so he goes for the direct approach instead. “Where is he? What were you doing in his flat?”

And here, further, is another moment when Aziraphale’s luck runs dry: Hastur is not a smart demon, by any means, nor a particularly creative one. He does, however, know the power of watching allies die: he has just experienced it himself, was reduced momentarily to a screaming fit after watching Ligur dissolve into a puddle of demonic goo.

He doesn’t know exactly what it means to be someone’s friend, but he does know that Crowley and Aziraphale are allies, at least, and that’s good enough for him.

“Dangerous game, keeping holy water so close,” Hastur says in a low voice, and watches with satisfaction as Aziraphale’s eyes widen and his shoulders drop— as though he were a puppet cut free from its strings. “Especially when you’re expecting company…”

A high noise fills Aziraphale’s ears. Crowley is smarter than that. He wanted it for precisely this reason— to use on other demons, not to have it stolen and used on him.

Crowley is smart. Crowley is clever. Crowley would never…

“Why should I believe you?” he demands, though his voice is rather higher-pitched than he prefers. “You’re a demon. Demons lie.”

“It doesn’t matter. Our lord will call his servants to him, and you will die here, unable to stop him.”

“I’ll do no such thi—”

Here is some useful information about demons:

There are ten million of them, give or take some thousands, but the vast majority of them cannot produce hellfire. Hellfire is a resource, one that must be created and stored, and then brought out when it is called for. As such, for the lesser demons hellfire is a precious resource that most ration and guard for emergencies, or for particularly sour grudges.

Hastur is a Duke of Hell. He does have the power to create hellfire, and while he cannot make much— well, it hardly matters when he is standing in a building of flammable material, and Aziraphale is wearing flammable, human-made clothing that has seen nearly two hundred years of wear.

Hastur’s hand shoots forward, and with a startled yelp Aziraphale miracles a bookshelf into the space between them. It bursts into infernal flame and begins to tip backwards, toward Aziraphale, who reverses its fall, turns tail and flees, not keen to waste time battling a demon when the world is ending in mere hours and Crowley is missing.

Hastur spits flame onto the magic sigil, burning away just enough to turn it off, then steps forth and blows the bookshelf to pieces.

Aziraphale is already out the door.

No matter. Hastur smiles a demonic smile, turns, and begins systematically setting the rest of the bookshop on fire, so he can watch the paper curl and turn to smoke, so he can take some joy in destroying an angel’s precious possessions, and because Crowley has only one ally in the world— and if Hastur had one ally in the world he knows exactly where he would go next.

~~~

Crowley, unfortunately, arrives by way of the street Aziraphale does not flee through.

He does call Aziraphale on his way over, which helps him not at all: the phone doesn’t even begin to ring, just goes straight to informing him that his call cannot be completed, would he please try again later?

It’s the message that plays when Aziraphale is already using the phone— but, he thinks, looking at the flames that have inexplicably replaced his phone’s photo of his only friend, it’s also the message that plays when the line no longer exists.

He’s just paranoid. Ligur is dead, and Hastur is trapped. It’s probably a call from Heaven, although knowing that Aziraphale can’t hang up on Heaven to answer him instead is a pain all its own. There’s only one obvious thing for Crowley to do now, so Crowley puts the thought out of his mind and continues to speed his way through London.

It doesn’t much matter how much thought he does or doesn’t put into it, because his conclusion upon reaching his destination is the same. He highly doubts Aziraphale purposefully set his own bookshop on fire.

“Excuse me!” a firefighter shouts. “Are you the owner of this establishment?”

“Do I look like I own a bookshop?” Crowley answers sourly, and steps into the flaming building.

As soon as the doors close behind him Crowley feels it: the infernal stench of hellfire, the sort of smell that clings to you long after you’ve washed its source away. Fire is bad enough— the thought that someone might have maliciously sent Aziraphale back to Heaven, bodiless, really grinds his intestines in a way that makes his stomach complain quite passionately— but the thought of Aziraphale being gone, truly gone—

“Aziraphale!”

It can’t be. He’d been so careful, he’d made sure Hell didn’t know about Aziraphale, didn’t know they were friends and certainly didn’t know where to find him. There is no reason whatsoever for the bookshop to be literally burning in the flames of Hell, the only thing that could take Aziraphale from him for eternity. It doesn’t occur to him to wonder if Aziraphale escaped: he must be here, if only Crowley can find him!

“Aziraphale, where the Heaven are you?! I can’t find you—”

He cannot sense Aziraphale, here or anywhere else. But Aziraphale has always chosen kindness, so if Crowley shouts loud enough, if he can make Aziraphale feel his desperation, then Aziraphale will almost certainly appear to ease it.

“Crowley,” Hastur greets lowly, as though he has always been there.

Crowley freezes, and turns to look. It is definitely Hastur, and not some illusion or demonic twin he’s been keeping secret all this time. Hastur is here, and not in Crowley’s voicemail, and behind him the bookshop phone lays abandoned on the floor.

“Hastur!” Crowley returns genially, purely by reflex.

Hastur breaks into a grin that shows altogether too many teeth. “He called for you.”

Hastur, as pointed out before, is not very smart. What Hastur means to say is, ‘he called your phone and set me free, and here I am, having definitely killed him and set fire to his domicile.’

But what Crowley hears is ‘he cried out for you when I killed him, believing right up until the end that you would come save him again, and you didn’t,’ and this awakens something hot and ugly in him that 6000 years of restraint can’t control.

Crowley lets out an inhuman shriek and dives, reaching blindly for Hastur’s neck. Hastur simply miracles himself closer, so that Crowley’s hands fall uselessly past him and Hastur may grab his collar, holding him fast with a slimy smirk.

“There’s nowhere—”

He never finishes. Crowley lunges forward in Hastur’s grip and sinks demonic teeth into Hastur’s throat.

There is a struggle, though for the sake of stomachs everywhere it shall remain undescribed. All that matters is the outcome: a demon collapses limp on the floor of the bookshop as Crowley spits out his prize. Feels anger— and everything else— drain out of him. Wipes his chin.

“Gross,” he mutters, and turns to leave. His extraneous heart has stopped beating. There is nothing left for him here.

He picks up the nearest mostly-intact book— souvenir— and throws the doors open. The firefighters don’t bother him this time; there’s no point in saving his strength, or his miracles. There are nothing but enemies left now, so he may as well make whatever remains of his time on Earth convenient. No one asks him to explain as he crosses the street and climbs into the Bentley, feeling the weight of the door more than he ever has in 90 years.

He carelessly tosses the book onto the passenger seat. It slides off, and something tips out of the open pages.

Crowley doesn’t care about that or anything else anymore, but he frowns despite himself. Aziraphale has— had— a strict No Inserts Except Flowers And Bookmarks policy, and even then he mostly found other ways to dry flowers or mark his pages.

He leans down, scoops up the paper— a map, it seems— and opens it, more to wallow in curiosity over his perished friend than anything else.

Adam Young 4 Hogback Lane Tadfield

...Tadfield.

Tadfield.

“Bloody Heaven!” Crowley shouts, to no one in particular. “You clever bastard! You figured it out! You—”

Aziraphale had done it: he’d found the Antichrist, and called Crowley, and freed Hastur, and arranged his own demise. Despite all his talk of Heaven, despite abandoning Crowley for those who didn’t give one whit about him, twice, Aziraphale had made his decision— had in the end called Crowley, to tell him how to save the world.

(Abandoning is a strong word. It has never been a question of Aziraphale choosing who cares for him the most, or who he cares for the most: it has always been a question of right and wrong, because Aziraphale has spent all of time believing that Heaven is by nature good and Crowley is by nature evil, and six thousand years of temptation could never convince Aziraphale to choose evil.

Which means one of two things: either Aziraphale believes that Crowley and the Earth and humanity are good, or he doesn’t and has chosen them anyway, and both of those options are vaguely, elatingly terrifying.)

Aziraphale had died saving the world, and by Satan or God or whoever else there was to swear on Crowley would try his damned best to do the same.

“Right! Tadfield.” Heart pounding, hands shaking, Crowley tosses the map onto the passenger seat and starts the car. “They got your bookshop, angel, but they’re not getting your blessed sushi.”

#good omens #ineffable husbands #north writes

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terresdebrume · 5 years

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My problem with the way fandom does Former Archangel!Crowley

I have further thoughts on the whole Raphael!Crowley semi-fanon thing that’s happening these days. See, my problem is not that it exists—it’s a perfectly understandable thing to think, and it was what I thought myself when I first read the book, so I’d be a hypocrite to say people shouldn’t headcanon Crowley as being Raphael’s new form[1].

That being said, lately this fanon has been bugging me, not on the basis on its existence but rather because of the way the fandom (or what I’ve seen of it) seems to handle it. It feels/seems to me like as soon as that headcanon appears, the attention shifts away from Crowley and focuses on Raphael instead, like fans are so obsessed with who Crowley might have been that the stop thinking about who he is. It makes me uncomfortable, honestly, because every time I’ve given a ‘Raphael!Crowley’[2] fic a go, the plot seems to revolve entirely on his former name...in fact, I’d even go so far as to call it his dead name.

Crowley’s story, for me, hits a lot of beats of the trans experience—at the very least, of my trans experience. We all start out asking questions, much like Crowley did, and an awful lot of trans people are reprimanded for asking too many (wrong) questions about the ~natural order~ of things[3] much like Crowley was. He’s kicked out of Heaven, falls in with a bad crowd—which is not an automatism but not exactly impossible for actual trans people too—and spends a certain amount of time trying too hard to be bad until he realizes he can be somewhere in the middle—much like a lot of trans men go hyper masculine for a while until they re-accept some of their femininity or, I imagine, like trans women might present hyper feminine until they are in a situation where it is no longer as necessary to their survival.

So, yes, Crowley actually feels very trans to me[4] and the obsession fandom has (or seems to have, from my window) with his past and who he was before he Fell, to the point where this discarded identity seems to be the main focus in every fic I’ve read that dealt with it[5] makes me terribly uncomfortable, not because it’s malicious but because it’s pervasive and, frankly, very reflective of casually transphobic behavior.

And you know, I realize not everyone will have the same interpretation as mine and that’s fine I just thought I’d...put it all out there—see if maybe I’m not the only one who feels like that and/or if it sparks a discussion of sorts.

-------------

[1] Though upon thinking back on this, I feel like the news of an Archangel Falling would have spread like wildfire, and iirc the book is like ‘no one knows what happened to Raphael’ so unless we assume Heaven was even more messed up than previously though (i.e. that the higher ups know but are covering it up) that’s not exactly an interpretation that works for me anymore. I like to image Raphael had a similar path to Aziraphale’s though, not Falling for whatever reason, but kind of walking away all the same, except faster and more purposefully.

[2] To be honest, I don’t even like the tag. I realize it’s a descendant of well-established tagging convention and much shorter (and thus, more practical) than any other option, but I know for a fact that Former Archangel!Crowley wouldn’t leave me with the same bitter aftertaste, even if I knew for a fact all of these fics referred to Crowley-as-formerly-Raphael.

[3] Not necessarily in a violent way, mind, but dismissing the validity of that kind of questions has the same effect. At least, I distinctly remember feeling reprimanded when my mother used to brush my comments about not feeling like a girl aside.

[4] Although funnily enough, I don’t think I realized exactly how much until I started writing this.

[5] Ironically enough, more than one of them more-or-less accidentally has Crowley react to angels trying to call him Raphael the same way I’d react to being misgendered and/or dead-named.

#Good Omens #Crowley #anthony j crowley #aj crowley #GO Crowley #GO Meta #crowley meta #Meta #My Meta #My Posts

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dwarven-beard-spores · 5 years

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26 from the quote ask thingy with nanny Crowley and gardener Aziraphale because I neeeeeeed

Why thank you! I feel as though this one got a bit out of hand, but I made it to the smooches eventually, and I think it all works out.

The rest of the series, can be found together as Make A Life Worth Living on AO3

Every Thursday morning, before the sun was up, Brother Francis would step out into the Dowling’s garden, nod as though he’d done something, and leave a note to remind the rest of the staff that it was his day off. For some reason, no one could ever remember his schedule. He would leave through the front gate and walk quietly down the road to the bus stop, a mile or so away. It was time to think, he said, on the rare occasion when someone offered him a lift. He just wanted to walk through the sunrise and think.

About an hour later, every Thursday, Nanny Ashtoreth would wake inside the house, check on sleeping Warlock, and hiss quiet advice to Ms. Dowling as to how the child had been getting on. Then she would pick up her umbrella and carpetbag and walk out the front gate and down the road away from town, in the opposite direction of the bus stop. She was an ominous blot on the vaguely pastoral, somewhat developed area, and her shoes clacked loudly whether she was walking on concrete, or a dirt road, or on the grass. In the year and a half she’d been with the family, no one had managed to find out where she went. No one had felt inclined to try very hard.

By this time, Brother Francis would be standing beside the bus stop, waving away each of the two busses that came by at this time on a Thursday. He entertained himself by doing small acts of kindness for the driver and the passengers, because that was the sort of person he was, and small acts of malice, because Nanny Ashtoreth rarely encountered anyone on such mornings and it was good to keep things balanced.

About half an hour after Nanny Ashtoreth had left the Dowling’s house, an old black Bentley drove past the front drive. It shone like new despite having spent the past week hidden in a conveniently large shrub, and no one knew who it belonged to. Not that they’d tried very hard to find out.

Ten minutes after that, the Bentley pulled up to the bus stop, the passenger door cracked open, and Crowley said “get in, Angel,” as Aziraphale said “good morning, Dear.”

This particular Thursday happened to be in early of August, and it was already uncomfortably warm. Aziraphale wiped a bead of sweat off his neck. He preferred to sweat, on principle, though if the summer kept on the way it had been going he would be sorely tempted to change his mind. Crowley did not sweat, and Aziraphale was unsure if that was because she chose not to, or it hadn’t occurred to her, or perhaps, being a serpent, she was physically unable to. He didn’t ask.

“Breakfast?” Crowley asked, as always. As always, the answer was yes, and Crowley adjusted course for an outdoor café that served marvelous scones.

“Have you noticed anything, you know, occult about the boy?” Aziraphale asked, thinking it better to get the worst out of the way first. As always, the answer was no.

For all its features, the one thing the Bentley didn’t have was a strong air conditioning system. Aziraphale rolled down the window partway, but had to roll it up again when Crowley picked up speed. He miracled the air around him a few degrees cooler and turned slightly to watch Crowley as she drove. Everything about her was sort of desperately severe, from the tight bun of her hair to the furrow in her forehead to the purse of her mouth and the tight stillness of her hands on the steering wheel. He thought about putting one of his hands over hers, for comfort or to reassure himself of… something, but wasn’t sure if she’d allow it. She’d been particularly aloof recently.

Accounts of Warlock’s weekly developments carried them the rest of the way to the café and halfway through breakfast, with both beings trying to focus so that they might spend the afternoon and evening really enjoying themselves.

Then, “we’re going to the zoo on Tuesday,” Crowley said, pushing things forward a bit. She sipped her tea primly. The cup gave a sharp clink when she set it back in its saucer. “You ought to meet us there.”

Aziraphale ate a scone. “Why the zoo?” he asked, though he was distracted by the subtle way Crowley rolled her shoulders and winced.

For millennia, Crowley’s spine had naturally assumed a snakey, almost boneless quality that, when she was relaxed, manifested in all manner of slouching, slinking, and draping herself over furniture. Now, Crowley normally held it to nearly human standards until it was time to get comfortable, but Nanny Ashtoreth was perpetually rigid as though she’d been built around a ruler. It looked… uncomfortable.

“It’s the sort of thing one does with children,” Crowley said. “Mr. Dowling is hosting a luncheon for some very important people, and it has been suggested that Warlock and I make ourselves scarce.” The lift of her eyebrows indicated that it was a bit more than a suggestion, and also that she found the whole thing rather ridiculous. “I don’t know what he’s worried about. He hardly sees either of us as it is, and children make excellent conversation pieces.”

“Mmm,” said Aziraphale. He ate another scone and decided now was not the time to address Crowley’s issues with the Dowlings’ parenting strategy. He was not particularly partial to zoos, but it would be nice to get out for the day, and having the particulars of his work schedule slip people’s minds was very easy indeed. “Shall I meet you at the bus stop, then?”

“I don’t think so,” Crowley said. “You’d better meet us there. By the giraffes, perhaps? They’d be a bad example for the boy. They’re selfish and malicious, you can see it in their eyes.”

“That’s hardly true, Dear. They’re kind and—”

“And absurd.”

“Ineffable,” Aziraphale said, holding back his smile until Crowley scoffed. “But what do you mean I ought to meet you there? We’re coming from the same place, aren’t we? The Dowlings won’t be any the wiser, and it’s not as though Warlock will mind. He’s quite fond of me you know.”

Meeting at the bus stop on their days off had been Crowley’s idea, because she didn’t fancy the Dowlings thinking that Nanny Ashtoreth and Brother Francis were working together, or being intimate together, or even knew each other beyond the limits of their jobs. Aziraphale had agreed because it was more practical to play it safe than to alter the family’s memories if they got upset, and because it reminded him, in a way, of the care they’d taken in the days when the Arrangement was young and seemed far riskier than it had turned out to be.

“It’s not about what he minds,” Crowley said. “It’s about what he thinks. And Ms. Ashtoreth is not the sort of woman who picks up male company in secret. She might accept chance companionship during an outing, though, which is why you’ve got to meet us there and pretend you knew nothing about it.”

Aziraphale mulled over this as he finished his tea. “But surely,” he said. “Warlock won’t know the difference.”

“You can’t be sure of that,” Crowley said. “And at any rate, I will. Ms. Ashtoreth is not a reckless woman. Nor is she a friendly one.”

“No,” Aziraphale agreed.

“She carries the secret sadness of family estrangement and heartbreak, which have made her bitter,” Crowley explained, sounding more and more like Ms. Ashtoreth with every word. “She trusts only herself to protect and corrupt the child in her care. It doesn’t matter if she thinks Francis is resoundingly homosexual, she doesn’t trust him enough to scoop him off the side of the road.”

“Dear, it’s really just you and me,” Aziraphale said weakly, wondering when that had stopped being true.

“It’s just you,” Crowley corrected, her voice sharp, brittle, and suddenly her own again. “You always manage to just be yourself, but with roses instead of books and disappearing around the side of the house instead of closing your shop, and they believe you.”

“That’s not entirely accurate,” Aziraphale protested, this being easier to address then the vague unease Crowley’s plan had sparked in him. “I’ve spent rather a lot of effort on the details of appearing human, the hobbies and the sweat and so forth. I just don’t bother to completely change my character every time.”

“You see, that wouldn’t work for me,” Crowley said. “And it’s too late to change it now, anyway.”

They finished their breakfast in silence. Crowley was very stiff and controlled, and Aziraphale felt as though she were very far away. Without warning, she stood and placed a neatly folded stack of money on the table to pay their bill. Aziraphale tucked the last scone in his pocket then followed her to the car.

Before she opened the door, Aziraphale finally chanced it and put a hand on her shoulder. Crowley stiffened, then let out a breath. A small amount of her tension went with it, and she placed her own hand over Aziraphale’s.

“Crowley,” he said. “I can play along. But I wonder if you’re…. getting lost, rather.”

“I can let it down with you,” she said. “Sort of. But around any of them, even Warlock, especially Warlock… I can’t.”

“You’ve barely let it down today at all,” Aziraphale pointed out. “Hardly for the past month.”

“Oh,” said Crowley. She licked her lips in a very Crowley way, forked tongue and everything.

“I think I understand if it’s easier that way,” Aziraphale said. “Pretending you don’t know me. Especially if Ashtoreth doesn’t know about, well, you know, but, er.”

“Angel.”

“You’re the one who talked me into this, after all, and if you must stay in character, then perhaps we could at least—”

“Aziraphale,” Crowley said, turning to face him. She hesitated a moment. “Just shut up and kiss me.”

“Ah,” said Aziraphale, surprised. “Are you sure?”

Crowley nodded, so he did.

Crowley’s lips were tense and tasted like lavender tea and Aziraphale kissed them gently once, twice, again, before Crowley stuck her hand in his hair and pulled him into something deeper with a lot more tongue. There was something desperate in the way she kissed, both delighted and frantic. It had been a long time since they’d kissed like this, but both of them remembered the way.

Aziraphale’s hands drifted to her back, holding her close as her rigid posture relaxed into a curve that used every one of her many vertebrae. He continued to hold her as they broke out of the kiss and she rested her forehead on his shoulder.

Aziraphale couldn’t hold back his smile. “I thought Ms. Ashtoreth wasn’t the sort who did things like that,” he murmured.

Crowley sighed into his shoulder. “That wasn’t her.”

Aziraphale chuckled and ran his hands down her back. “Good morning, my dear.”

He held her a moment longer, before Crowley stepped away and leaned back on the car, crossing her arms and looking very much not a proper nanny. “I’m glad we got to do that again before. Ah. You know.”

“Ah. Yes. Quite.” Aziraphale found he had nothing to do with his hands, and also that they were sweaty. He wiped them on his trousers.

For several minutes, nobody did anything. Aziraphale turned over thoughts about potentially kissing Crowley again, before he decided it was too soon to ask.

“I’ll meet you at the zoo,” he said at last. “No trouble, really. By the giraffes, you said?”

“Tuesday,” Crowley agreed. She stood up and opened the Bentley door. “Where was it you wanted to go today? Art gallery?”

“Anywhere besides the zoo,” Aziraphale said as he climbed in the other side of the car.

When Crowley pulled away, only one hand was tight around the wheel. Aziraphale was holding the other.

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #make a life worth living #my writings #fanfiction #ask games #cyberneticbanshee #nanny ashtoreth #brother francis

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