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livawritesshit · 1 year

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Ink!Demon!Bendy X Fem! Reader

CONTENT UNDER THE CUT!)

Warnings (Weird type of fluff Slight angst crying??? depictions of murder and devouring Depictions of injury

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You Were A Friend Of Audrey And Tom , Audrey Had Always Protected you From Hostile lost ones And Stuff That would try to harm you but even she was Busy With defeating the Ink Demon ,

She Always Spoke so low of Him That it almost made you feel Bad But you knew what he had done You Had never come face to face With Him and werent intending to unless neccesary Audrey described He Was stubborn and hostile All The times She had Encountered Him

You Mostly Just Helped in The sidelines Stabbing Alice Angel When She Almost Shot Audrey You Were Slightly Critical When needed but loved Audrey as a sister Tom(borris) as they called him Was quiet But he Was a Good person

I Was Out Alone After Audrey Had to Get Past the Keepers Studying the Studio Trying to find out some info ,

As i passed by Few Doors the feeling of being watched was creeping up on me , Even Tho i wasnt being Watched or followed everytime i checked, this is scary.. I’m getting nervous , who the hell is following me?.. “H-Hello? I-is someone there?..” i looked around frantically , i hate this feeling i feel so vulnerable and unsafe .. i really hope i wont encounter wilson or the ink demon, just the thought alone makes me shudder,.. i begin running ,hearning something fall or break whatever it is I don’t want to find out ,

I Started Running , i dont know why or how but i have a feeling someones after me , and sure enough i hear wet loud thumps signaling they are following me, i really contemplate turning around but rather not die because of curiosity honesly , i hear Them growl something alike?, no time to Think! , i run for what seems like hours ducking and opening Doors i begin feeling myself become exhausted , Stop yourself y/n! Struggle later live now! If i stop up ill die!, i notice a shadow over me , fuck fuck FUCKKKK!!!! , its catching up so damn fast! ,i duck under a barrel hearing it being destroyed behind me as i throw whatever i can reach backwards onto the thing as it mails almost anything and everything, this thing definitely wants to kill me! , i Fall to the Ground i struggle to get up , i notice its shadow above me ..”heh..?” I slowly look up at it or

The Bloody fucking ink demon(just my luck) “you were foolish to think you could escape your demise,” he Started opening his mouth in such a weird way as his teeth appeared , they were quite shiny actually?, what the hell y/n not the time! “Why me ? Im just a sidekick anyways.. audrey is worth more trouble I just help by the sidelines..!” You stared at where his eyes should be,”you may be a sidekick but your a foolishly annoying one..” He snarled at you , that was kinda attractive , god his deep raspy voice would be funny to hear whimper , I shake my head what the hell am I thinkigg by about a litteral demon! Is about to fucking devour me! And here I am thinking about his hot ass voice! “I’m not that annoying,” d-did I just snap back? I’m so fucking dead I should say my prayers already.. he growled his hot breath fanning my face, kinda weird..”how dare you speak back to me you lowly mortal..”

My eyes drifted up to his horns, they were dripping with ink yet looked completely dry so did his whole body , now that I got a good look at him he had Weird proportions Long arms small waist weirdly big Hands too?, if I was gonna die I might as well? , I reached up between his horns my hand gliding along , my other hand trailing down his face , almost studying his features , it seemed as if he were in shock or did not want to move whatever it was he moved back after a few moments , seemingly contemplating something before disappearing into the wall , strange? Why didn’t he kill me? . The adrenaline was starting to dissappear as i began freakign out realizing i could have been eaten , “i have to tell Audrey oh my fucking god!” I scramble to my feet Norton realizing i was still being Watched ,

As i made Way through the studio , finally i see Audrey in the distance , i hear someone scream gibberish and charge towards me , god dammit not another lost one .. I get out my pipe ready to attack but as soon as I turn around there’s nothing there ? Just a pile of ink indicating something was ever there , this is weird.. “guess it decided I wasn’t worth it huh..” I FINALLY make it to Audrey as I rant about my encounter with the ink demon “So I touched him and he just went away!” Audrey was surprisingly calm “weird.. he would normally either try to convince you to join the darkness or devour you.. guess you caught him off guard today..” I think that’s reasonable yeah I probably did and I’m glad I did too..”I guess your right I was just lucky as all glad I was tho..” you shiver “I don’t wanna know how it feels to be devoured..” Audrey chuckles “don’t blame you” she hugs you “glad your okay tho” I feel a smile tug at me “yeah me too!”

BENDYS POV

I don’t know why I spared that mortal.. something seemed different .. I rampaged killing whatever was in my path but her.. she just seemed so 𝑫𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒇𝒖𝒍.. I want to see her maybe just yet again.. I wander around aimlessly killing lost ones as they come and go , I hear her voice along with Audrey’s, now I’ll take the chance! , I let toon bendy take over requesting he follow the voices to try and get close to you and Audrey, I don’t know why ink demon wanted me to come closer to thoose voices but I hope they are nice..! , I turn a corner watching them one particular woman catches my eye , I walk over as quietly as possible tugging on the lady’s pants , END OF BENDYS POV

I feel something tug on my pants looking down , Bendy? “ bendy what are you doing all alone it’s dangerous!” You grab him cradling him close to you , I look at him he stares at me , smiling “your so cute I don’t get how anyone would think any harm!”

I pull him flush against me ,Audrey just staring like I just murdered her “ I show him off to Audrey “just look at him! Audrey! isn’t he the sweetest Eeeekk!!! “

I give him kisses on his face my lips making contact with his cartoonish face “I just love you so much , i Dont get the lost ones! Love youuu!!” I give him a Big Long smooch right between his horns i realize something and quickly stop downing over him “ah im sorry Bendy i didnt even Think about what you would feel if i did that !” I frowned letting Bendy Down grudgingly

“im so sorry..” i rub his horn “i just couldnt resist your cute face :(“ i see Bendys cheeks slightly light up , he looks up at me before tears were falling , he didnt even make a single Sound or anything just silently crying, “im r-really sorry Bendy if i made you upset can i hug you?” I gesture waiting for him to answer before he stares at me before nodding , the absolute second he nodded i Picked him up “im going to give you a kiss now ok?” I give him a kiss right on his horn as i rub his cheek letting him know its all going to be alright

BENDY POV

I really like all the attention shes giving me its weird but i like it alot. Everyone Else has only cared for testing me and doing Experiments ,. Before i knew it i was crying .. i just feel so happy that shes giving me attention and love so this is how it feels to be ? I crave for more , i stare at her “can i hug you?” She even asked me instead of sticking needles in me like a puppet! Are you seeing this ink demon?

ʏᴇs.. ɪᴍ sᴇᴇɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪs ᴛᴏᴏɴ ʙᴇɴᴅʏ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴡᴇɴᴛ ᴀᴡᴀʏ ɪ ᴅᴏɴᴛ ᴛʀᴜsᴛ ʜᴇʀ ᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ɪғ sʜᴇs ᴀʟʟ ᴍᴜsʜʏ ᴀɴᴅ ʟᴏᴠᴇʏ ᴅᴏᴠᴇʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ.. sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪs ᴅᴇғɪɴɪᴛᴇʟʏ ᴡʀᴏɴɢ.. Your so gloomy.., I felt her give me another kiss on the head ..Wow :o I stopped crying I really want to talk to her but I can’t

I like the attention tho Wish I could become an adult so I could kiss her too I feel so giddy I could beat all the keepers ,I know I can’t but I just feel like it! END OF BENDYS POV

He stopped crying I’m so glad! “See Audrey he isn’t dangerous he’s just upset I would be too everybody well.. Almost everybody is trying to kill him constantly!” Audrey sighed “Y/n I know he may seem good and cute but he isn’t what he seems..” I am confused “what do you mean? He’s not what he seems?” Audrey turned going to recharge her pipe , for a moment I pondered thinking what that could have meant ‘he’s not what he seems?’ Yeah right .. Audrey is just paranoid “isn’t that right you adorable devil” I smiled at him “names y/n!” I put him down “sorry about all that If I made you upset I didn’t mean too..” I remembered about how he was sobbing before “I mean it..”

I sat down “could you wake me if anything happens i just feel very tired.. or if Audrey comes back ok?” I trust him he won’t hurt me.. “you won’t hurt me right?”

Yeah no he wouldn’t.. I lay myself to sleep on the studio floor taking my sweater under my head and huddling closer into my jacket , I give him a smile before closing my eyes , maybe a few minutes goes by and I feel myself drift off to sleep , I hear something but decide to ignore it hoping bendy would wake me up if anything were to happen,

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Ink Demons POV

sʜᴇs ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ɴᴏᴛ sᴏ ʙᴀᴅ.. ᴀғᴛᴇʀ ᴀʟʟ ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴅᴏɴᴛ ᴛʀᴜsᴛ ʜᴇʀ ɪʟʟ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛ ᴏɴʟʏ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ sʜᴇ ᴅɪᴅɴᴛ ᴛʀʏ ᴛᴏ ᴋɪʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ.. , I circle her a few times before laying down my tail swishing ink everywhere some landing on Her, ᴛʜᴀᴛs ᴀ ʜᴇʀ ᴘʀᴏʙʟᴇᴍ sʜᴇ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ɢʟᴀᴅ ɪᴍ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴡɪʟʟɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴛʜɪs.. , I stay watch as I promised killing potentially hostile lost ones ғᴏᴏʟɪsʜ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛᴜʀᴇs ᴅᴀʀᴇ ᴅᴇғʏ ᴍᴇ!, I kill one that got too close for comfort , I devour it Quickly to myself , I hear footsteps and Audrey’s voice , I disappear into the wall letting them deal with it by themselves ,

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I Wake Up To Audrey’s Voice calling out to me , “uni.. yn Y/N!” I wake up noticing bendy is gone, did something happen to him oh no oh no! “Did you see bendy on the way here!?” I frantically look around but no sight of him ,”no y/n the only evidence he was even here is that weirdly large ink splatter around you..” Audrey looks at me “what? He isn’t no..it isn’t .. is he really?.” Audrey nods “I-I need to go have a moment Audrey” I walk off into heavenly toys sitting in front of a bendy plush covered in ink , that’s way too much he couldn’t be I won’t believe it .. “he isn’t the ink demon I don’t see it only the horns but that’s it… they are nothing alike.. bendy likes attention but he moved away when I touched him? Yeah it can’t be!” I don’t believe it! . I reach out to the plush giving it a little kiss , bendy was always my favourite out of them all , a little smile forms. A voice suddenly cracks out on the intercoms , Alice angel? “Hello Hello! Welcome To Heaven Dear Step up and receive a sweet prize , im up by the stairs!” Her voice cracked alot as if she were forcing it but i believed her Angels are never evil right? , as i made Way up the stairs i Saw her , she looked like she had been mauled in the face, She had Long locks with a pretty waist , “Hi?…” i slowly ascended up the stairs something felt off..she reached out her hand to me “i Will show you peace trust me..” i grabbed it tightening the hold on the Bendy plush “trust me.. so i can be beautiful again YOU FOOL!” She pushed me Down the stairs , i know i Will die if i hit the Ground or stairs ! Fuck fuck what do i do?!, i realized i could only die nothing Else , closing my eyes preparing for impact , i heard growling and screaming from up the stairs before i landed on a puddle of ink , cushioning my Fall but not my head , i blacked out ,

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After maybe hours days? I dont know Time in the studio i finally wake up with a massive headache ,”that Fall took a toll on me ..” i could barely see my vision blurred “im so cold..” i could feel heat radiating nearby “Audrey…” i stumbled over to the figure , “im so glad you found me Audrey..” i slump against “her” being met with that warmth i needed. So much Nevertheless she doesnt move just ragged breathing , guessing its my own , i realize im still Holding the plush tight in my grasp , “you protected me Bendy even if your a plush thank you..” i stumble feeling something catch me “than.k you..” i close my eyes , until i hear a deep voice that is so familiar yet i dont bother staying awake exhaustion taking over “ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀᴍ ɪ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ᴅᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ..“

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I seek comfort in the deep voice ,

𝘈 𝘧𝘦𝘸 𝘏𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴 𝘓𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳

I notice im laying on something i dont know what as i get up i hear a low rumble under me , i feel my nerves increase rapidly .d..did i get eaten!!?? I look around and im still in the studio but on some bed of a sort mostly of soft toys including the Bendy plush that saved me , i grab it gudelignende close as i notice a large pool of ink on the Ground along with struggle Marks, depicting .. 𝘊𝘭𝘢𝘸𝘴.. i realize quickly after putting the pieces together , im in 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘐𝘯𝘬 𝘋𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘓𝘢𝘪𝘳 or whatever excuse the of a lair , i look beneath me noticing a puddle of ink moving up and Down, “t..the ink demon..” i whisper to myself , i Think he wants to devour me later.. i should escape while i can.. i hear him let out a low growl his tail swishing signaling hes about to wake up , i quickly step out from his embrace hiding behind some plushies , watching him wake up , he was probably not even fully sleeping i Bet .. , i Watch him look around , quickly getting on his feet , before leaving maybe to find and finally kill you?. I dont know .. rather not Stick around , i could maybe get a rest for a few minutes since this od the most soft place ive laid for a while.. “yeah 3 minutes and then ill leave..” i lay back onto the ‘bed’ laying Down closing ny eyes , the apparent 3 minutes im guessing have passed , i get up standing my feet before grabbing the plush , as i try to find the exit , a door ! I crawl out before making Way to where me and Audrey met up if we Got lost or seperated , walking along i hear screaming along with some weird liquid sounds , maybe its Audrey! , i turn quickly running over to where i heard the sounds looking out the corner, horrified by whatever the hell that thing is (ShipAhoy Wilson) You feel the need to scream and kill it as quick as possible its horrifying to look at and definitely not a Nice sight.. You notice.. Audrey! But shes doing something? Oh Shes turning off thoose Towers , But god That thing is bloody creepy! , she is even tricking it into breaking the barriers for the towers wow.. she really is amazing .. I notice something when she hits it , Wilson’s face inside it’s stomach? She finally makes it stumble back after a third hit , it screams as I keep watching not being able to pull myself away , fascinated , it stares right at. Audrey before moving , out of absolutely Fucking nowhere the ink demon appears and begins mauling at it before finally killing ShipAhoy Wilson before dragging him into a puddle of ink ultimately killing him before he turns to Audrey ,walking closer he says something , God he has an attractive voice, sad he’s a demon.. I hear a few bits before he says “ᴊᴏɪɴ ᴍᴇ ᴀᴜᴅʀᴇʏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀ ᴍɪsᴛᴀᴋᴇ.. ᴀ ᴍᴏɴsᴛᴇʀ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ, ᴄᴏᴍᴇ . ᴊᴏɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴜᴅᴅʟᴇs“ as I watch horrified as Audrey is about to take his hand , I decide I have to jump I throw the plush at their almost touching hands , “DONT DO IT AUDREY!” I frantically yell , realizing it’s most likely a trick “y/n what are you doing here!” She shouts at me almost surprised .. “ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɪ sᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜɪs ɪs ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘᴀʏᴍᴇɴᴛ ɪ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴋɪʟʟᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ..“ he stares right into your eyes even though he doesn’t have any that you can see you can feel him glaring “wait.. it was you?” I relax my posture “but why ? You ran away our first meeting and our second one you brought me to your bad excuse of a lair ..” I am so damn confused why he hasn’t killed me yet instead protected and saved me multiple times “ɢᴀɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛʀᴜsᴛ sᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙʀɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴀᴜᴅʀᴇʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴡʟʏ ʟɪғᴇғᴏʀᴍ.. ɴᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ʀᴇᴀsᴏɴ“ a switch flicks in my head “so your bendy? I can kinda see it now but I never thought it was true bendy always craved attention . You were the complete opposite of him .. you ran off when I rubbed your horns … I mean I thought you were going to devour me so I took a shot I’ve always liked the look or your horns especially Bendys .. so how come your so different?” You stare at him , “ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴛʜᴏᴜ ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴇ ᴡᴇ sʜᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴇ ʙᴏᴅʏ ʙᴜᴛ ɴᴏᴛ ᴍɪɴᴅ ᴏʀ ʙʀᴀɪɴ.“ he keeps on looking at you even tho he has ink where those eyes of his were supposed to be

Freaky..

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INK DEMON POV

ᴡʜᴏ ᴅᴏᴇs sʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ sʜᴇ ɪs ʙᴀʀɢɪɴɢ ɪɴ ʟɪᴋᴇ sʜᴇ ɪs ɪᴍᴘᴏʀᴛᴀɴᴛ! .. ᴇᴠᴇɴ sᴏ ɪ ғᴇᴇʟ ʟᴇss ᴀɴɢʀʏ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sɪɢʜᴛ ᴏғ ʜᴇʀ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ��ᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴘɪᴛʏ ᴏɴ ʜᴇʀ.. ᴛʜᴀᴛs ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ʀᴇᴀsᴏɴ , ғᴏᴏʟɪsʜ ɪ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴅᴇᴠᴏᴜʀᴇᴅ ʜᴇʀ ᴡʜᴇɴ sʜᴇ ᴡᴀs sʟᴇᴇᴘɪɴɢ. she keeps staring at. Me with thoose eyes of hers , I had completely forgotten Audrey was there . I look down at her again my mouth opening a little wider , “ᴀᴜᴅʀᴇʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴘᴏᴛᴇɴᴛɪᴀʟ ᴡᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ sᴀғᴇ .. ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴍᴏɴsᴛᴇʀs ᴀ ᴅɪsɢʀᴀᴄᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛᴏʀs. ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ..“ I notice her reach out her hand to me , right before our hands touch that dumb Girl interrupts by grabbing audrey by the arm before giving her a piggyback before she sprints off . It takes me a moment to realize what happened , i feel anger rising yet again as i take off after Them , “ɢɪᴠᴇ ʜᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏᴏʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʜᴏᴡ ɪᴛ ɪs ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴀ ᴅɪsɢʀᴀᴄᴇ !“ i shout after her as i Faze through a wall right before Them , catching Them by surprise , as Y/N stumbles slightly almost dropping Audrey , as she tumbles before running backwards ducking under planke amd going through the tunnel to Wilsons lab , i notice her throw Audrey somewhere , screaming out her lungs “YOU KNOW WHERE TO GO AUDREY! JUST GO!” I hear Audrey yell something back”ILL FIND YOU I PROMISE!” As she falls “ ɪᴍ ɴᴏᴛ sᴘᴀʀɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴏᴡ . ʀᴜɪɴɪɴɢ ᴍʏ ᴄʜᴀɴᴄᴇs ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪᴠᴇ ʜᴀᴅ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ!“ i sink my teeth slightly into her chest earning a guttural moan of a sort , it sounds like shes moaning and screaming in pain i dont know which , but it did make my tail wag for some reason , “FUUUUUUCK THAT HURTS!” I can feel her squirming making my teeth sink deeper drawing blood “if im gonna die i might as Well see if this works!” I feel her grab my horns , as quickly as she grabbed Them she headbutts me possibly as hard as she can “ᴀʀᴀɢʜ!“ i feel my brain cracking even tho it isnt , she most likely used all her strength for that , i Watch her leave as my tail continues wagging the more i Think about how close she was , “ ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴍʏsᴇʟғ ɪɴ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴏʟ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪs ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴏɴ..“ i quickly look after Audrey but theres no sign of her , she tricked me! ,

END OF INK DEMON POV.

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I Grabbed his horns and headbutted him with all my might , fuck he was rock solid ! , i notice he was distracted as i scramble to my feet as i sprint toward a barrel, going inside . As i heard him rip apart the Barrels and potential hiding spots , screaming and growling my name and audreys , “ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ! ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ ʜɪᴅᴇ ғᴏʀ ʟᴏɴɢ..“ as he growled again , “where is Audrey i need to find her quickly before he does!” I grab the Bendy plush , “ you’ve always given me luck don’t disappoint now.. please..” I kiss it on the head yet again , as I sit in the barrel waiting for my demise or him finding me whichever comes first , i just hope that Audrey makes it out alive.. ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʀe ʏᴏᴜ...“ god his voice was so deep you could get used to it.. honestly.. “ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ..“ he rumbled with his voice. “Atleast i know what to do if he catches me a 4th time..” i whisper to myself i hear foot steps , stopping before me , (fuck)

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INK DEMON POV

She even Got away along with Audrey! You have to be joking she just keeps in my damn way…! I feel rage pure unfiltered rage go through me as i smash through barrels and crates seeing if she were hiding . “ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ..“ i feel the urge to hold to Squeeze something as i look at a pecuilar barrel it seems as if something were moving , ғᴏᴜɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜᴜᴜ~“ i open the barrel noticing nothing was inside.. it was warm , so she recently left it “ᴅᴏɴᴛ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴜᴛsᴍᴀʀᴛᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ғᴏᴏʟ“ i ripped through every nook and cranny finding a trail of light blood ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴅᴇᴀʀ

I make Way to where the trail stops noticing her panting behind some barrels , shes doing something.. oh now im just curious… i Peek behind her noticing shes wrapping her abdomen as it slightly bleeds through. 𝑯𝒆𝒓 𝑩𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒅 the sight almost makes me drool i havent tastes real Human flesh instead of ink in a while .. i notice a spot of saliva land on her , she slowly turns to face me , its Allison?.. “sʜᴏᴡ ᴍᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ʏ/ɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴜᴅʀᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ, ᴀʟʟɪsᴏɴ..“ i notice it isnt even blood some sort of red liquid to impersonate it so she knew.. “im not telling you shit!” She spat at me , before slamming me in the face with the Gent pipe , wretched shit! , i throw her to the side , quickly following audreys smell , they cannot run for Long ill find Them this studio is ᴍʏ ʀᴇᴀʟᴍ ᴀғᴛᴇʀ ᴀʟʟ.. after running fazing through Walls and crawling through tunnels , i see Her the Real one Y/n. Sitting there hugging that devilish plush to her i would be a much better substitue im the real thing.. why am i getting over a damn stuffed Bendy? Im the real deal nothing beats me , i growl not at her but rather at the plush . She seems to be close to it , i stalk her every move as she cares For the plush as if it were alive as she crawls inside a large crate taking off her jacket as cover .. a mere jacket? I could laugh but i cant really , i stalk her for a while through the wall killing whatever came close with malicious intent, your quite intresting .. ill keep you around for a while longer , after Audrey she is a pain in the ass she doesnt realize her place is amongst the puddles.. ill convince her soon enough.. “i really hope audreys ok , love you , wish you were the real deal but hes evil i just miss the cute little Bendy who i didnt know was the ink demon.. i dont know why but i Got slightly upset knowing he didnt even want the attention and just my trust.. I don’t think he’s a monster he’s just so hateful and vengeful , he’s honeslty not too bad he protected me twice thought it felt weird waking up with him holding me like.. this you know? “ I listened intently noticing how she pulled the stuffed bendy closer to her in a circle manner , that’s what I did when I found her. “It felt weird his voice is quite soothing too.. but I don’t even know how I ended up in his lair I swear Audrey was that heat , when I fell down the stairs you saved me .. maybe it was luck , not possible .. luck has hated me recently . Me and him have a weird relationship.. he tried to kill me earlier but i Saw his tail wag when i grabbed his horns , he really liked it ..just like when i touched his horns.. hes confused probably.. wish i could comfort him in Any Way like i always let Audrey comfide in me whenever , i love Audrey but shes a sister to me i want her to survive of it means i have to die ill do Anything..!” I almost felt my non existent heart flutter but i Crushed it before anything escalated , No need For uneccesary feelings when i Will devour Them later on.”ɪ ᴀᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀᴜᴅʀᴇʏ..“ i feel her stare in my direction, “ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴄᴇʀᴛᴀɪɴʟʏ ᴅɪᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴜʙʙɪɴɢ ᴍʏ ʜᴏʀɴs ,ɴᴏ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ᴛʜɪɴᴋɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʏᴇᴛ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴘᴀᴡɴ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴇss ᴘɪᴇᴄᴇ .“ her face contorted to that of anger ,”ok then! But I’m a pawn your a .. uh.. evil tower ,yeah!” She pointed her fleshy finger at me , grinning like an idiot as if she did something cool ,“ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀ ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴡᴇɪʀᴅᴏ ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴛᴊɪs ᴄʟᴏsᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ” I pinch my fingers , I move towards her my whole body dragging along as she steps back slightly but stops , What is she doing now..? She just stood her ground supposedly waiting for something , I look around, nothing. Does she … want me to devour her?,”go on then I bet you won’t!” She crossed her deliciously coloured arms staring flat at me , I felt my grin grow impossibly wider ,I open my mouth , a deep breath rumbles out my throat like a earthquake , I bend down almost putting her in my mouth before just licking her instead, worth a sample to see if she’s even worth the trouble..” Ew! Stop that!,” my saliva pools where I licked her running down her cheek,

The look of something that belongs to me cover her is a slow desire that the ink demon doesn’t realize is coming his way!,

Def Making more parts I’m gonna. Make this into a mini series if anyone even reads through this cringe shit , I internally died of cringe at some parts and I maybe skipped too much dialogue and shi before getting into the story I’ll be slightly following the canon storyline. , I rlly hope someone reads this or ATLEAST enjoys it < 3

#bendy x reader #bendy the demon #bendy and the ink machine #bendy the dancing devil #toon bendy #bendy and the dark revival #batdr shitpost #batdr ink demon #batdr

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minalblood · 5 months

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I'm back and I'm so sorry! I won't make any promises for the last 2 ep of the Winchesters, but I will be reviewing/rewatching them anyways just ... who knows when, I dont!

But let's get started on You've got a Friend 1x11.

I hopefully will be a bit less rambly since O have a draft of my thoughts already written for this and its less... as Im watching (i can post that too if yall wanna but dunno if ull understand my handwriting)

We begin where we left off and I love that we have this scene of them needing to clean up, adds realism, adds dimension to the world. Love also that we begin with Lata being the Lata we all love - dejected in this case about her chimera paw was ruined. Queue Carlos with the teasing. The 2 of em banter a bit before Mary redirects us all to the matter at hand.

And Mary has come a long way in these episodes, because she may not join the banter (still closed off somewhat as opposed to Carlos and Lata's easy repartee) but she is going off of it and adding them into her area of interest.

But all stops when John come in blood soaked and in shock - Mary instantly worried he might be hurt, but nope, not this time.

I am so happy to see them portray the actual shock and numbness John is feeling, then the guilt and sadness, just all the reaction to Kyle's death really. And considering the survivor's guilt John is lugging around, it makes it even more heartbreaking. I also love seeing that Mary is the level headed one here - she,.imo, is clearly pushing down the grief to focus on John's issues here, hell we see very little of her grieving in this episode and everytime we do, she's quick to redirect that feeling into action - sometimes into violence point blank. She does it here, asking what the Akrida could want, she does it even moreso with Millie, where she does open up a bit since Millie is offering comfort, but then it turns into Millie coming with a plan which directly leads to Mary wanting to storm the police station guns blazing and the ep ends with Mary and John discussing Kyle (also god Mary looks absolutely exhausted here, fuck) but Mary derails it by saying they need to find Dean instead. She's def not allowing herself the moment to deal with Kyle's death which may prove relevant when discussing next episode.

I'd forgotten this ep was the Lata episode. Like ep 8 was Carlos', this one is Lata's. And god does it hurt.

1st, move the feather boa, Carlos!

2nd, I do genuinely believe Lata and Maggie were together. Everything in this episode points that way to me (but especialy the sweetpea nickname) We'll round back to this though.

The other thing we note in the sequence in Maggie's room is how close Carlos and Lata are to each other. Which we knew, but I always love seeing it again in action.

Before we continue with the emotional core of this ep, we have to get back to plot with Betty! I love Betty..I also can't blame her for being ....hesitant to say the least. Like imagine what she's seen so far: the guy who, before leaving to the marines illegally, proposed to her, is suddently interacting with, apparently, imfamous Mary Campbell, who is seen at several murder/investigation scenes suddenly appears ro have killed someone? And she already knows John had anger issues before hand. Like i get her here. And still shes trying to be nice while doing her job.

Which leads me to the next part, her job. So the detective... he's wording (even with him being really Akrida) echoes a lot of corrupt cop rethoric which only gets further emphasized when he later threatens to have John... killed 'accidently'. And, on top of them, speaking pf policw corruption even a 'good cop' like Betty becomes complicit simply because of the power the Akrida gained via the detective role cuz she was unwittingly helping them throughout.

But god, was John a bit too cocky here. (My notes have this marked as "this is why you let villains monologue, John!"). Especially since he actually doesn't have any info on Dean. (Love that we see the pic of Dean, missed him) l.

Meanwhile Lata and Carlos have found the bracelet and it's fucked them over. Also, I fucking hate the shadows thing, very creepy. Also also it reminds me of the daeva that Meg uses in s1 of SPN. I'm also reminded of SPN with the story the detective tells John about how they'll get rid of him - SPN's own crooked cop ep featured exactly this sorta plan too, but in killing Dean.

Really though, the main thing I found interesting upon rewatch is just how much Lata is our Dean mirror in this one. Specifically, in getting targeted by the bracelet she's forced to relive a trauma (Sania's death) via Carlos acting as substitute, only this time she succeeds where prior she thought she failed (which lemme make clear, no, Lata was at no point and in no way at fault, but she did internalize that guilt - much like Dean tends to internalize guilt) . Which Dean, much like Lata ends up doing when getting involved with this universe, ends up reliving a trauma (his parents death - Mary especially) of something he failed, in his mind, to prevent/save via rescuing this universe's Mary. And much like Lata, who can't undo what happened to Sania, but can "begin to make it better" (the Hey Jude line just hit me so I had to use it), so too can Dean. It won't change what happened in his life, wont save his mom, but it will help him heal nonetheless.

Adding to this Maggie? Who opperates as a Cas parallel here - she was Lata's person, who shared everything with Lata but Lata couldn't in turn for fear of judgement/shame, who notably is dead and thus Lata can't ever reveal her secret to. Well, it hurts is what it does.

But watching this I noticed another interesting thing though, for all that the bracelet seems to work like Osiris (pulling on the guilt the person feels is most agregious), the bracelet actually seems to want the wearer to get out. Carlos is taken just as Lata begins wondering which secret it's trying to make her face and is sent to Sania's room - direct answer. Then later,.even more blatant, using Maggie's face, tries to get Lata to disclose the secret, but Lata talks around it instead til the creature takes her too.

It seems like Erebus had a test for his warriors, one he wanted them to win.

Throughout all of Lata's story, I was seething. I truly hate her family and Carlos was 100% saying exactly what I was thinking.

Another thing I appreciated though, about Carlos, is the emotional maturity. Yes they were dying and yes it was urgent that Lata disclose her secret but Carlos made certain to reassure her throughout. Tried to give her as much space as possible.

In other thoughts, Lata's mom making that "vs family" distinction, uuuh it rattled sth in me only to them have Lata say "my parents would never look at m the same way"? In the Dean Winchester show? God, the echoes of John's shitty parenting were deafening. Bur yes to eveything Carlos said. It truly wasnt Lata's fault.

And I adore also the ending conversation between Lata and Carlos (both wearing blue and god I want Carlos' coat) because yes, this kind of stuff shouldn't be forced out on anither persons whim. Lata doesn't have to tell John and Mary anything, it is her story to tell, but also yes, Carlos is right to reassure her that if she wants to share it with them, they'll likely react well like he did. And yes the reason this particular scene hit so hard is partially personal, but because of that it drove me insane in SPN where there was a tendency for people to push other to open up at their own whim (and yes, Sam did it often to mutiple people, hounding them until they cracked and spilled whatever trauma they were trying to deal with but then have nothing to give in return, no comfort or even really reaction, and yes he most of all did it to Dean a lot and it did puss me off) So yea, love this episode for the Lata and Carlos of it all!

Also I have a few questions, when Millie was trying to convince Betty about the supernatural, at one point she said "it's not like-" and cut off. She was trying to defend against the accusation of 'playing make believe). Also, Betty says sth like "Mary, I expected.this from" with relation once more to her not believing in monsters soooo.... has Mary ever been taken in under suspicion of being delusional? Was Millie? Or John?! I've questions ok i need y'alls opinions on this one.

Also, I would've soo cracked if the Akrida asked about Dean, cuz I def miss him a lot and id fucking gush about him at that point.

Anyways, that's it for this one. See you guys next time where we'll be clowning (have I mentioned I hate clowns?)

@noybusiness thanks for push earlier this month, i needed that a lot and thanks for the support for this rewatch ❤

@shallowseeker thanks the new posts, been inspiring me to get back to writing this ❤

#spnwin #spnwin rewatch #spnwin 1x11 #also yea it wasnt much shorter than my usual #which is a problem since it fucking 3.30am here and ive work tomorrow #oh well #it was fun tho

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shwarmii · 9 months

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hi, i'm @/shwarmi, and tumblr tERMINATED MY BLOG (AND ALL MY SIDE-BLOGS WITHOUT WARNING ME) and i messaged them to get it back but idk when theyll get back to me, so here i am in the meantime, hello, i guess this is my back-up account now, yes, my url is a pun on Roman numerals, anyway, sure do fucking hope i gET MY BLOG BACK JFC

edit: i've been filling out a ticket form about Account Termination once a day (here's the link to it if you ever need help finding it for yourself in the future; please don't try to help me via spamming the ticket form or anything, they explicitly ask to not involve other people uninvolved in your account AND i feel bad enough doing spam once a day already; but, anyway, yes, i recommend doing what i did and having bookmarked the aforementioned link and just copy&paste my form answers into the ticket from a seperate document, like from Google Drive or something, so you don't have to retype it everytime), and i have recieved no reply nor even a confirmation e-mail. hence the lack of updates on how my account is doing. there's no other way to contact staff, except maybe via Twitter, as their support e-mail is no longer accepting messages (hopefully bc of the following they will be in contact with you sooner than they have been with me, bc i didnt know this following tip this past week i've been filling out that ticket and noW YOU DO, you lucky bastard. do what i did with a seperate document to prep in case this is a multi-day process, but hopefully you'll get farther in less time than i have bc jfc i wasn't even getting a confirmation e-mail beforehand big McYikes)

BUT!!1! a friend of mine who was terminated last year said to attach my un-terminated e-mail's account (aka the e-mail i am using right here for @/shwarmii, and not for the terminated @/shwarmi like i had been doing liKE A DUMMY APPARENTLY) to the ticket's general "Put your e-mail here" slot and to explain within "The more details, the better" part your original e-mail attached to the terminated account in addition to the rest of your explanation. and i finally got a confirmation e-mail that my ticket has been recieved! yes, it was just an automated response but yay! finally!! progress!!1! i at least got a fUCKING CONFIRMATION E-MAIL, HAHA, VICTORY!

god i fucking wish i knew about the "just dont use your e-mail linked to your terminated account" tip a week ago jfc on a hot dog stick, my guys, finally, a confirmation e-mail, gahhh

since i now have a confirmation e-mail, i will wait five buisness days (so today is the 8th and a Monday, therefore, i'll wait until Saturday which is the 12th except i said "business days" ergoooo Monday the 14th) to e-mail them again. i hate waiting tho ughhh like, fine, i'll do what i gotta do but also ugghhhhh

↳ additional note: this update/edit was made on 8 August 2023. @/shwarmi has been terminated since 31 July 2023 (or 30 July 2023, and i just was too exhausted to make the account/post until the 31st. i forget. i was in the middle of moving and im disabled, so i was over-exerting myself big-time. i had processed that my account had been terminated at the time and just responded by taking a nap lmao rip but yeah, therefore, it's all been a blur)

NOTHING HAS HAPPENED. COOL. (Narrator: It was not, in fact, "cool".) I WAITED AS PLANNED (this update is being written on 14 August 2023) AND STILL NO FOLLOW-UP TO MY CONFIRMATION TICKET. HATE THAT FOR ME.

instead of sending in a new ticket as i originally planned, i replied to their confirmation email since it said i could do that (for permalinks or whatever) so that they will HOPEFULLY get back to me without me having to be a pest about their automated systems, ugh.. (i have cropped out my email and the Ticket Number(? i assume that's what that string if letters and numbers are anyway) for privacy reasons, but here is what the confirmation e-mail looks like and how i replied. i am including this mostly to help out anyone who may be terminated in the future have an idea of what to expect and an expectation of "OH, okay, so i can reply to THIS email-address, got it" kind of nonsense or whatever. why not lmao)

i will wait another five buisness days, so that'll be on the 21st of August 2023. hopefully, i will update with good news before then (aka: they'll haVE REPLIED MAYBE PLS PLS PLS) but i guess i will have to be annoying if not

it is the 20th (so they have one more day before i have to be annoying anD I DONT WANNA BE.. pls send me ideas of how to be annoying that doesnt include the Hateful Xitter pls, my only idea is to DM them there and i dON'T WANNA) and even my gmail thinks the lack of response is fucked up lmao rip

having a Bad Brain Day streak rn due to my (abusive) dad's failing health and unpacking and all this other shit i have to do post-moving like switching my insurance and renewing my liscence and fuck all, so bothering tumblr about not replying to me is gonna take a bit more of a backseat for a minute, hold on

it.. is now August 30. brain still in gutter, but i forced myself to make a xitter/twitter (don't follow, ill delete the account after they help me or not). and it wouldnt let me dm, so i had to just @ them and post. brain so sad that i cannot even be amused rn that @/shwarmi on there was taken by a shwarma restaurant. @/tumblrsupport's Replies tab shows signs of helping people as recently as 2 hrs ago, but idk if there's another queue here. i guess we'll find out?? i just want my accounts with all their posts and shit back pls, this has taken so long to try to do 💔

edit: if you're curious, it is 3 Sept 2023 and i am still waiting (it looks like they are looking at people who @'ed them on Sept 1 rn and iM LIKE "PLSSSS, I @'ED YOU ON THE 30TH OF AUGUST PLSSSSSSS", gonna give them until the 5th before i tweet again i guess 🥺)

i am not god's strongest soldier. i continue to cry out for help, alas, i have yet to receive an answer

it does not help that the twitter account sometimes says to people: "What is your Tumblr URL? We can check and see if there was a glitch of some sort. But be advised that if it is a TOS violation situation or a bigger tech issue, we cannot assist/reply on Twitter" so that doesnt make me panic aT ALL that maybe i broke TOS without any form of a warning or knowledge that i wasnt following tumblr's terms of services regarding things like nsfw and whatnot (narrator: they were panicking)

i hate it here. staff should at least be able to tell me (via email, if not twitter) that i wont be getting my account back or whatever else instead of just saying NOTHING??????

going to do all this again (tweet support, make a whole new ticket (i still have the info saved thankfully), reply to my old email confirmation) on September 27th (an arbitrary date based on I Have A Lot Going On Rn) if they continue to not reply. if i hit the 30 images limit, guess ill be reblogging and adding even MORE to this thread jfc juST TALK TO MEE!!!1!

#me #shwarmi #never have i been so glad that i have a google doc of mcs and all the i.f. games theyre from &&& also #how much i screenshot from tumblr to tell me who i was following before lmao rip

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emeritus-fuckers · 9 months

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okay well

hi, i'm Eddie, nice to formally meet you bcs i lurk on this blog So much (im a serial nihil simp so you guys feed me good, thank you for that lol)

my preferences are human specific, if that's okay, i'm not as familiar with all the ghouls unfortunately ^^

i don't even know what to put here bcs i don't want this to be too long but it's already 3 paragraph breaks because i just Cannot shut up

i'm a gay, bigender person, though i identify most as a man and with male terms, i am a LaVeyan Satanist, i have been for a couple years now, really big into the anti-religion of it all, i love to be the boogeyman christianity wants me to be

i'm a major stoner, as hard as i try i am becoming the stereotypical stoner guy, i'm very annoyed by myself everytime i start talking strains lol. i started smoking weed bcs i have Major Anxiety also, at first it was just social anxiety and then i got diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, so!

i guess this is relevant for this, i feel kind of stupid typing it out, but in a relationship i need someone who can both keep up with me and keep me grounded, yk? i can be high energy (not a pun) and Honestly i think im a little exhausting sometimes, but also i greatly enjoy sitting in total silence and just basking in each other's presence, there's a duality there

i'm also aceflux, but with a cripplingly high libido, so if that affects your decision at all, there it is

love what you guys are doing here btw

This post is a part of Match-up Event. The Event ended on July 15th.

Your match is...Young Nihil

If you start talking strains he'll giggle knowing it annoys you.

Then he'll get up and go to his stash finding something perfect for you. You have no idea where he got it from but as soon as you try it, you feel calmer.

He's rather pleased with himself after that, playfully asking you what his reward will be.

You won't wear him out, this man has enough energy to match yours. He loves it!

He will also sit in silence with you, he's happy just to gaze at you. He'll sometimes just snuggle up next to you and be quite content like that.

Nihil doesn't understand Aceflux at first. He just kind of looks at you confused.

"Ace what now?" He says and then he notices your face fall. "No babe please explain it to me. Please" He sits and listens and nods when he gets it.

He is surprisingly understanding after that. He makes sure he understands your boundaries and also your needs.

He can be grounded when the situation calls for it. The hippy movement rubbed off on him.

If he sees you need it, he'll drag you to the floor next to him, where he is sat crossed legged, and get you to just focus on your breath, to calm again.

Nihil adores that you revels in being the boogyman christianity wants you to be. That is totally his thing and he just encourages you down that road to be his partner in crime.

Written by Nyx

#ediblearraignment #ghost band #ghost bc #ghost band x reader #ghost bc x reader #match up event #match up #papa nihil #young papa nihil #young papa nihil x reader #papa nihil x reader

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whorewithagodcomplex · 11 months

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sweetheart,

i love ya, but I'm not doing that for the rest of my life, no sir,

everyone knows not to marry into that, and its kinda common sense not to date someone with your type of addiction and just walk away, like we all know its never gonna work if youre constantly making your partner feel like shit because youre always lusting of the things you so desperately want, and yeah you may say that 'your're better, real, youre my love theyre just pictures, theyre just videos, ect) but we all know you wish it was them you could have when your gazing longingly and thirstly at those pictures, you create relationships with all these women, i just happen to be in person version added to the collection, its nasty, and its horrible knowing this will likely never change, cause its 'not that bad' its 'a comfort thing' 'i was alone for so long' and i have to live feeling like im always competing with them, i cant escape them, im so fucking tired of being paranoid that the person i love is going to always be looking at something more appealing, its awful, that constant pit in your stomach everytime hes lookin at a female character a little too closely, or when the girls are everywhere for him, camera roll, most social media, even his wallpapers on all devices, sure theres a photo of you two, sure as a homescreen but its really just a sunset photo and we're hidden in a low corner hidden by apps, and the never paying that close attention to you, you learn as much as you can about him listen to every word he says but doesnt care to know about you, with the exception of major plot points he knows nothing about what you like and why you like it, its either you rarely get a chance to speak, or youre perpetually cut off, or just simply ignored when speaking about yourself, but, he knows everything they say, knows every little detail, their backstories are phenominal and look how hot they are, he wont really say that to you anymore youve shown you dislike, but you know, you always know, so you try your best to be pretty and good enough to be wanted like he wants them, but you never get wanted like that, to be fair you never did, this was the first time someone is showing they love you and want you, but of course if i wasnt wantable before him what makes me wantable now? yknow all his needs are met by them and his ablilty to do so much with them that he feels no need to pay any mind to you beyond the physical and guidance, yeah he loves you, you know that hes shown that, but is it worth the mental and emotional exhaustion it takes to fight for a normal relationship? one where we both feel happy? i know theres no way he isnt miserable too, the contant bickering the anxiety of fucking up, but c'mon man, if you cope properly, like by speaking (without lashing out) to someone when things are too much, not falling further into an obsessive chemical pick-me-up addiction and honestly this sex obsession, youd do so much better, but you wont because its one of them hidden addictions that no one but your friends and people youre close to know about, by your choice, and you think that means its totally fine, because I'll stick around regardless right? cause i have this long and im making life plans with you and i love you more than youll ever know and as long as i dont see it' or notice it its fine, it wont kill me, youll keep going until im about to cut my losses and you promise and youll try you really will, but itll creep back and we'll be back at square one, or youll get better at hiding it from me, youre already pretty good at it now, ill bet money that if i got 3 hours and all your passwords id find cia sized files everywhere and id puke and cry myself to sleep for months, and i know youll only get better at it, and i dont want to be paranoid that your girls are still around my whole life, what kind of example am i setting for my daughters if i just let myself live like that, god id kill my son-in-law if he made her feel like that, honestly id kill him for most of the things youve done, so why am i letting it happen to me???

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goldambitious · 1 year

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4am 3/10/23

Maybe it’s the music, maybe it’s the weather, maybe it’s the piercing sober thoughts

But tonight feels heavy, the anxiety feels heavy, and the darkness feels consuming

The guilt is heavy

The pressure is heavy

I’m okay, but it’s been a while since I’ve written, and tonight I would like to release — here on this app that appears abandoned — where I hope nobody I know will read

I feel this darkness inside of me, it surfaces from time to time — straight up angst, melancholy, and shame

I’ve let so many people down, and I’ve picked so many up

My sober-self-sabotaging brain tends to focus on the ones I’ve failed—mostly failed due to my bad habits

I’ve loved, and I’ve lost — and Im talking about that “the notebook” type love…

I think I truly wear my heart on my sleeve, when I love romantically — it is … hard-furious-passionate and you will feel it; it tends to consume me… and almost everytime it translates into jealousy, and I let my insecurities win, and it gets truly ugly

Nonetheless, 2 long relationships have forever shaped and changed my perspective on life, and yeah I do feel deeply depressed and ashamed when I think of how terribly I fucked it all up..

I wish I could apologize to those two women I gave my heart too in the past, but it would do no justice, all the sins I committed cannot be absolved by a simple “I’m sorry” — nothing can change my mistakes, and I truly think that those two people — they know my heart — it’s not black, it’s not empty — more-so.. misguided, maybe I’ll even say jaded.. — I let my pride and ego ruin me . . .

Well, my heart and my mind feel really heavy thinking of the beautiful / terrible memories I shared with the 2 people I romantically fell in love with — I’m terrified of love, I think it is my biggest fear — I realize now, how easily I can lose myself, how I love so hard, how i can be suffocating ..

I don’t know if I’ll ever feel that type of love again — I don’t know if I’ll ever let myself love like that again — my last love was “the one that got away” — my best friend - turned love of my life — and I ruined that — if I’m being honest with myself, I don’t want to love anyone else like I loved her — I refuse — I don’t think anyone on this planet exists like her — all I can say is I’m grateful I got to experience that — it was a beautiful disaster — she was beautiful - I was the disaster - it was magic

Now that I let that part out…

I miss my cousin, I miss you so fuckin crazy brother, I hope you’re spirit is watching over me — I hope you’re not suffering — I hope you give me the strength I need to succeed and keep it pushin gangsta — I love you — no savès cuanto me haces falta loco

Why god took you from us so soon? I don’t know & I don’t think I’m supposed to ask

But FUCK, I can’t help it, the relationship that existed and still exists between me and you.. that was a one of a kind, you listened to me — you opened up to me — and everyone in that varrio knew what it was wit you n me — straight up dos pocos pero locos vatos, desde morritos primo, bien locos — peleando como hermanos pero Al fin del dia hermanos firmè

I miss your laugh, I miss our inside jokes, I miss your presence when I had to cry about my hyna & we downed a couple 40s wit some firmè ass music on, smokin on sumthin nice n fine ahaaaa

I love you Alexis, until we meet again cousin.

————————————————————————

And to end this journal entry, it’s for you mom and dad, Erika, all of my family.

I feel stagnant, I achieved my first generation Bachelors degree, but I’ve been too intimidated to apply for a real job.. is it my anxiety? Is it my depression? — I think it’s a mixture of all the darkness I’ve endured — situations I’ve let impact me and mentally block me — emotionally block me — physically block me — I’m exhausted … I’m stuck. — but I can feel my time is coming, I am evolving .. I will prove to myself… I can do it.

I am sorry I haven’t been the man you all raised me to be

— I know I said, a simple apology will never absolve me of my sins, but it goes without saying, that apology is from the bottom of my heart.

I wish I could give you guys the life I know you deserve.

I’m 27, and I want to give you all the world.

Including my sister and my aunt and my brother in law.

I want to give you all the world

You deserve it all and more.

And I won’t stop until I’ve righted all my wrongs.

God willing:

I won’t stop until I prove it to myself — for myself.

I am the man they raised me to be.

I love myself.

I deserve it.

Until next time 🤞🏾

#justathought #venting #journal entry #tristeza #pensamientos #fuck #heavy angst #deep thoughts #just breathe #anxiety

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tenaciouspartyzinemoney · 2 years

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1. Girlfriend

You and Akari have been in a relationship for 4 years now, 4 years ago she was just slightly taller. Now youre as tall as her calf. Youre 1,5 meter tall while she's 6 meters tall. She can shrink you at anytime she wants but she only does that when shes mad at you or if shes horny. Today you wake up feeling a lot of pressure on you. You open you're eyes to see youre under Akari's skirt. You were being smothered by her big thighs.

"A-Akari!! What are you doing?!"

"Youre awake already?? Happy birthday Senpai!! Since its your 18th birthday and now were both adults, i figured we can be a little bit more dirty from now on"

"I-i mean.. we could.."

Suddenly you started shrinking. You didnt know why or how but it looks like you're only 50 centimeters now.

"Senpai! You shrinked! Youre even smaller now! How did that happen? You look so cute!"

You looked up at her in fear since you were still in between her thighs and since you're so small now you cant really breathe.

"A-akarii!!! I c-cant breathe!! Get off!"

She thought you were joking around because you were annoyed at how small you had became, so she put even more pressure on you with her thighs. You were being sandwiched like crazy!

"Senpai you look so cute and helpless in between my huge thighs! It just makes me so horny, seeing how i could easily crush you just by putting my two thighs together. It just shows how much power i have over you. Of course i would never crush you, but i will always smother and squish you!"

Little did she know you were suffering in that exact position, but you still did like it. Thats why you shrinked in the first place. Everytime you get aroused by a giantess, you shrink. She took you out of her thighs and held you in her hand.

"Geez Senpai you look exhausted! Was that already to much for you? That didnt last longer than 2 minutes!"

"Akari i couldnt breathe!! NEVER do that again without my permission okay?!"

"Calm down dont yell at me you know you cant, or ill punish you! And i didnt know i was just having fun!"

"Im sorry.. but next time please ask for my permission and ask if im okay.. because honestly i was enjoying it.."

"Soo... want to continue?"

"Sure but this time I am the one that pleasures YOU!"

"Hahaha okay Senpai! Show me what you got!

She drops you in her panties and takes the rest of her clothing off. She starts pushing you towards her p*ssy. You start to lick, suck, and push a lot.

"Mhhhh Senpai you're doing so great! Its your first time? You're literally the best ive ever had!"

She pushes you right into her cl!t.

"AAAGGGHHH SENPAI~~ HARDER HARDER"

She keeps on pushing you and shes super pleasured. Finally you're done and she takes you out.

"Arent you such a good boy? That was so amazing! You're all wet now though.. Anyways you really deserve something back for that!"

"Heh.. Babe you dont need too hehe.. Im glad you liked it!"

"Aww youre tired! Here you can relax here"

She drops you onto her big bossom so u can relax.

#giantess #anime and manga #thighspo

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loucipherrrrr · 3 months

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Talk to ya later

but probably not.

Tbh i’m tired, fed up, bored, annoyed, beat down, exhausted. Tired of checking up on you. tired of asking how you are. tired of begging to hang out. tired of you not making time to do things with me. tired of you flaking.

NO: I have been talking about going together since november maybe even october. every month you’ve pushed it back. one month we were supposed to go and the week of you tell me your friend is coming too… “she always comes anyway” like i was supposed to know she was coming this time like she has a permanent spot when you go back home. how are 2 large dogs and 3 adults supposed to fit in your lil honda? why didn’t you think about this before i took those days off. why didn’t you say she was coming to begin with? yeah she’s Always going with you, so i thought you’d tell her not to come this time bc i Never go with you. wtf. Then january comes around i’m asking ab going again and you say you’re going for madi gras…???!!!! in february the weekend before my birthday like I don’t have plans. bitch come on!!! you got into a accident so you have no car. this literally reminds me of louis. LOL!!!!!! I would have to take my car so we’d be taking 2 cars I might as well go alone. why sit here and say let’s schedule something so we can just do things with the dogs. i think we’re actually scheduling something looking for days i can take off so we can actually do it and you FLAKE every time.

R/L/L: I’ve dropped people over flaking. Why you’re so dif idk. You flake all the time. we’d make plans to watch movies together and instead you’d be sleep. you’d rather pick up a bottle than stay up sober. “i’m so tired, i just need a nap. why didn’t you wake me?!you can still come but i’ll be sleep.” Every time i think you’ll actually wake up ON YOUR OWN to make time to WANT to hang with me. but instead i’m begging you to hang. IM always coming to you. When you did have a car you rarely came here. yes theirs stairs and blah blah bs but you work 5 minutes up the road but i’d always be meeting you at your house? I’m so tired of doing things for fuckers that wouldn’t do the same for me.

N: I’ve watched your child multiple times for you while you’ve gone to wherever. i’ve asked you to watch stella once. i never go anywhere as is but if i were to “need a break” i’d still have to deal with mine bc you’re normally “going through it” too. like it’s never equal? “i’m getting another job can you watch her until i get my life together?” i say sure bc my child needs a play fucker but what if i’m tired of mines but you’re going through it too? like wtf.

Tired of me asking you if you’re good. asking if you’re alive. asking if you’re okay. asking about you. asking this that and the third without you asking me for shit. yeah i can’t keep my mouth shut and i’m just rambling half the time anyway. but when i’m not you’re silent… no are you okay without me saying i’m not. no are you goods from you.

You always got company. always doing some shit then complaining about it later. Complaining about having people at your house till 4am then saying you didn’t get any sleep and also getting drunk after you said you’re done drinking. “this is my last night out” Everytime you go out. Lmao i just be wanting to be included but for that to happen i have to ask instead of you just offering… but you’ll tell your company about whatever y’all got going on she’s always invited. Am i to much? To little? What’s the problem??If you don’t want me there just say that before I make a fool outta myself. I swear you be thinking that shit is funny.

you said you were spirling i said i am too. i asked you the next day if you were good but you didn’t ask me. haven’t asked me shit since actually. you stay MIA often and i’m always trying to figure out if you’re okay or not. If you need anything or whatever but i swear you be forgetting ab other people around you. But I’m not talking about your company that you have around you 24/7 i’m taking be me the nigga who dropped whatever they got going on to make sure you’re good thinking you’ll do the same. LMFAO.

your company you always got with you is all you think about. i’m so mf tired of it. i bet you lost my house key i gave you. lmfao i’ll be changing my emergency contact soon. don’t worry ik you’ll be to busy to come out anyway

ps: lol you remember when i made a matching set of earth girls and the one i made you, you didn’t want ᵒʳ ˡⁱᵏᵉ. ʷᵉ ʷᵉʳᵉ ˢᵘᵖᵖᵒˢᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵗʰᵉᵐ ᵗᵃᵗᵗᵉᵈ and that never happened. but now all of a sudden i make a betty pic that you like better and you want to get that tatted instead… it doesn’t work like that.

definitely weird behavior. don’t wanna be around it anymore. tbh i’m good in solitude. 🧑🏽‍🦯😘🕺🏽🫡

#toodles #haha oops

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minkkumaz · 8 months

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loosing my mind.. myung jaehyun.. han dongmin.. the bias wreckers u are..

i spent 35 mins on twitter just saving these bonedo photos i never got around to see,, im officially like GONE. taesan & jaehyun theyre so.. i NEED to send u these GOD sent photos. debating on making a whole tumblr acc called melon anon LOL

(im loosing my sanity these photos r everything to me i love my life rn.)

(trying my best to think of jaehyun and taesan hcs and all thats coming to mind is mornings w them <3)

—————

like imagine waking up, sun shining through the curtains, and MYUNG JAEHYUN. AND. HAN DONGMIN. r just getting blessed by the sun rays.. id literally thank the lord for such a sight.. theyre so pretty GRGEHSB..

jaehyuns such a snooze typa guy, he’d instantly pull you back under his arm and cuddle you asking for an extra 5 3hours minutes..

meanwhile taesan would stir awake with his beautiful face and tuck some hair out of ur face with the most softest, swoon-worthy smile. He’d definitely do that thing where he’d rest his arm on the bed while supporting his body, just to cup your face and press a big kiss on ur forehead.

if jaehyun ever manages to wake up in the middle of the night, he’d get some water, and just lay by you, admiring your features and reminiscing on fun moments until he falls back asleep.

taesan will always be the last one awake during the relationship. he does this because he knows how much you love him, to the point where you’ll never attempt to stay up late so he wouldn’t have to either.. Its a win-win for both of you, he’d hate to see you so tired and sleepy the next morning.

i personally love mutual pinning, bff jaehyun.. when the reader and jaehyun weren’t dating, they’d still do sleepovers regularly. He always managed to make such good food before and after waking up!! (woonhak taught him how to cook to impress you)

taesan has such a unique way to kiss,, he’d start from the collarbone and just press soft kisses trailing up to your lips.. he’d rather u wake up in a loving way than a blare of an alarm. (he sets his alarm 2hrs before he actually needs to wake up so he could cook and admire you..)

at night jaehyun gets sappy, tracing his hands over yours and just re-confessing his love for you..

-🍉

omg i've been seeing so many photos of leehan during that fan sign where he's wearing the jacket and bro.. i explode everytime upon seeing it like he is just SO attractive GOOD GOLLY!!

i read all of this but i am so physically exhausted today so i'm feeling too tired to comment on all of them ^^; (i think i'm a little under the weather) but these are all so cute omf i love them :(

#∞ ₒ ˚ omi's chats #༊*·˚ anonymous peoples #🍉 anon ·˚ ༘ ✎

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koishua · 1 year

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hi vienna ,, tbh u dont need to read this bc idk if itd be triggering (body image issues) and id rather u not trouble urself bc of me but id like to vent somewhere and i dont have any1 to talk 2 so pls feel free to ignore .

ive always been overweight for my age but i never faced any bullying abt it other than some very occasion name calling of "fat" in elementary school and my family's disaproval for the way i look. as i grew up, i started to feel more comfortable around others despite not being satisfied with the way i look and i assumed that as kids mature they become more accepting, bc i had never been truly bullied b4 i just assumed it might be rare in communities such as where i lived compared to some of the horror stories i had heard. anyways all my life i had assumed people had been seeing me for more than what i looked like, i always tried to be kind and make a good impression on other but ig that's not true. as much as i love my circle of friends, im not sure i can see them same after what happened on friday. it isnt even their fault, i just feel very insecure now. but basically in 1 of my classes, we had a change in seating so i no longer sat near my friends but 2 acquantainces (they're rlly sweet girls but idk them too well) and this one guy that i also dont know very well other than that in 8th grade he had dated an old friend of mine for a little bit. but anywyas tbh i feel like im just being dramatic but i srsly can't get his conversation out of my mind . the boy was sat next to me and talking to his friend, their convo alr starting off on a wierd note abt kanye west. and the guy next to me (ill call him ray to make it easy) starts off by saying that kanye's note all that bad and has said some pretty true things. ray then goes on to say that fat people dont deserve to exist and body positivity is a completely stupid subject bc it only encourages obesity and unhealthy habits. all the while he's saying this, seated right next to me and im pretty sure he was glancing at me while saying it too . those 90 minutes were the most uncomfortable in my entire life. i was literally panicking while he was talking abt it and it's all that i can think of now. their conversation was truly disturbing to me and my confidence feels as if its completely tanked . his comments of "fat people are gross" and "being fat shouldnt be celebrated" keep ringing in my head everytime i go out or see myself in a mirror. i genuinely feel so broken and it hurts that theyve probably dont realize the effect of their words but also it hurts that that's all they can see me as. not another human being or a classmate but just "fat". idk where im going with this but i dont feel ok and i feel so exhausted now ,, just the thought of having to see ray's face again or hear his voice is scaring me . maybe im just overthinking but i cant help but wonder if my friends picture me the same way. am i even deserving of love if im so "ugly" . my friends sometimes comment that i look way older than my age or that i could pass for college aged and even comments like those are hard to brush off for me. sometimes i wonder if i should restrain my jokes and personality to stay kind bc that's all i am to them. just a source of comfort, and if i dont do that then i could be easily execused. im always scared of saying the wrong thing but now i keep wondering if it would never even matter bc all anyone will ever see me as is "fat" . it's not like i haven't tried to lose weight so i rlly hate everything that ray said and its srsly put me thru sm turmoil . anyways i shld keep this brief (sorry for the rant) and im sorry again for using ur inbox to rant , i rlly hope this doesn't cause you any pain or you find it triggering :( i apologize if it has caused you any concern or pain. i hope ur good and stay happy vie

tw: body image and weight talk

hello, dear :( let me start this off by saying that don't worry, i am perfectly alright and am glad that you feel it's safe enough to vent and write your feelings out in my inbox. you don't have to apologize for anything! i am the one who says that they're open if anyone needs to rant or vent. i would never judge. i had to read this a few times in order to collect my thoughts, so pardon me for delaying this a bit. i wasn't sure if you wanted my direct response, so i will just keep it short.

i won't say that i completely understand what you've been through and i can't speak on experiences i haven't personally lived through. however, as another human being, i will say this: you absolutely deserve to exist. i hope you never ever doubt that. i know how difficult it is to deal with comments about your appearance and it angers me so much that you're treated this way. i get how the side comments every now and then feels. bullying is horrible, but this is just as bad for someone's self esteem and health. im truly so sorry and wish i could do something for you, but i can't because of obvious reasons (that being me being just an online presence and not there with you).

i just want to reassure you that no matter what anyone says, you deserve love and life and goodness. a lot of people don't understand how difficult it is when you don't weigh below a certain number or how isolated that could make someone feel regardless if they're mentioned or not. everyone is so much more than just their appearance. idk how else i could help you other than to strongly remind you that you are you and that should be enough for your friends and that people should learn to keep their mouths shut on their opinions about other people's appearance. it doesn't matter if you lose the weight or if you tell them you struggle a lot with it. those people should reassess the way they're treating another human being with real feelings and thoughts. never lose who you are and trying to be what other people need and want you to be. it may end up making things worse, i know, and im not sure if you've ever told them directly that their words are extremely rude and hurtful and that they should stop, but someone (even if it's not you yourself) really, really should.

i pray that none of what i said has further upset you in any way. if so, i sincerely apologize :( i genuinely hope that this never happens to you again and that you'll have a greater year than ever and that you'll find wholehearted acceptance and love from those you are surrounded by and that you'll slowly but surely feel comfortable in your own skin. take care and you're loved! people like the ray you mentioned are not worth feeling bad over.

#ii. ( pt ) —! anon asks #tw: weight #tw: body talk

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sleepy-time-tea-bear · 1 year

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I hate adhd and insomnia. It's a fucking lethal combination and I feel so bad because I'm going to hand in a late, crappy paper to two of my favourite professors and I dont know how to explain because it's not like this is new shit. This is the shit that I always have to deal with but I tried so hard this time cause i really care about their course but i just fucked up. I wish I knew how to stop fucking up. I wish I could get my brain to behave and sleep when its needs to sleep and work when it needs to work but instead I feel exhaustion and guilt all the fucking time. Everybody tells me how smart I am, how they can see i really care and i put so much effort in but it's literally so exhausting. I am just so tired of going through this everytime I have to hand something in. I'm just exhausted and I dont know if I'm going to be able to sleep tonight and I dont know how I'm going to finish a paper when my head is pounding from a week of not being able to stay the fuck asleep and i dont know how to calm myself down enough to go to sleep because I feel so guilty even though I know I shouldnt feel guilty cause I cant control the adhd when I get this exhausted and executive dysfunction gets so much worse and the dopamine seeking gets so much worse cause my brains just trying to cope in fucking terrible conditions. I really really really wish I could just be better cause I'm so tired of always feeling like this when im just trying to get a degree. But this is my 6th year of trying to get my bachelors and I still havent been able to convince a medical person to give me medication cause "I'm too smart to have adhd". I want to scream all the time but I'm too tired to actually do it. Sorry, I dont want to bring people who have a similar situation to mine down but I'm just so tired and i wish it were easier to get help and I just feel so bad about disappointing people who I respect

#rotten potato #insomnia #adhd

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meowlimia · 2 years

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TW ED vent

This isn’t an ed post necessarily. the first part of this post is a regular vent and the 2nd part is ed related business. trigger warning, i mention sxicide, food, ed related things, depression, etc. i dont plan on ever tagging my posts so this is probably the last big trigger warning i’ll put on my posts.

This is kind of a jumbled mess, i just typed exactly what i felt and what came to mind. i dont do in depth ed logs so if youre here for that this isnt it, i just cant be asked.

So like to get right into it. Me and my bestfriend have been having PROBLEMS. like bad ones. at least i think their bad, she thinks everything is dandy. She likes to do this funny girly thing where she finds a new person to date every few months and they become the absolute center of her world. despite, of course, us being bestfriends for 5 years. I’m not a jealous or possessive friend, I think that stuff is gross and makes me uncomfortable. but its annoying, some days she doesnt message at all, or leaves me on seen for almost an entire day. and when she DOES respond, its to tell me about all the fun theyve been having and how much shes missing him. which is great, im glad shes happy, he seems like the first genuinely good person shes dated. i just wish i didnt have to hear about it constantly, i wish my value as a friend didnt go to 0 everytime she finds a new person to obsess over. and of course, i always have to pick up the pieces and join in her snarking of her exes because they were definitely 100% of the problem (in all fairness, they were all really shitty).

The thing i find an issue with is like. she will NEVER stop talking about him. ben this ben that my god i dont even know ben why do i need to hear about him. i would understand if she need to vent or just wanted to talk about him a little, thats completely fine. but what im not okay with is day in day out talking ONLY about ben.

The only non-ben related thing we talk about is how awful shes feeling. sending me random pictures of her crying, talking about how she wants to kill herself, or her self harm, her bloody scratches. the worst part is she thinks its funny, and acts like shes not doing it to purposefully worry me. what do you want me to say? this is the 10th crying picture youve sent this week, this is the 10th time youve mentioned your self harm. i dont know what you expect me to do, i cant live in a perpetual state of worry and stress over how youre doing anymore. its exhausting. especially when she KNOWS how bad my ed is getting for me, how at this point im barely living for any reason other than purging and binging.

Yet of course, when i vent, i get the usual. “sorry bbg, not feeling up to reading/listening right now. love you” thanks! i genuinely do understand. thats why i tell her everytime what the voice message is, or what the hidden message is. i know shes struggling, but i am an awful person too. i do feel the need to vent to my closest friend, i do feel the need to vocalize what im going through. Either way, she gets upset when i delete it, because i felt guilty, ashamed, and embarrassed that i sent it in the first place.

I feel awful and guilty for it, but sometimes i feel like i truly hate her. I absolutely shouldnt feel this way, she is suffering greatly with her illnesses. I havent lived in her shoes, i dont know just how bad it is for her, i have no place to be upset at her for how shes feeling. But i still do. sometimes i just dont understand why shes being like this. She is on medication, she has a job she enjoys and doesnt pay rent/bills/anything, she has 4 people at anytime interested in her romantically, she makes friends within minutes of meeting people, she has a nice room with fun things shes bought or other people have gifted to her, she has a caring supportive boyfriend, she has great hair, she is genuinely beautiful inside and out and has a great personality. i just dont understand. its disgusting to say it and i know that, but i cant help it.

anyway thats my vent about my friend over. ed catch up time xx

things have been going well, in terms of losing weight/restricting/purging.

I’ve started to purge maybe 3-5 times a day? sometimes more in small amounts. something ive noticed is that i dont really binge often? usually i eat normal meals. like one packet of samyang ramen, fried eggs, and chamomile tea. its a small meal not calorie wise, one regular samyang pack is 530 calories, plus maybe 200 cals from the eggs, and maybe 100 for the oil i cook them in. the chamomile tea is 2 calories, plus maybe 20 with the tiny bit of honey i put in. its not a low calorie meal but its pretty small in portion size. either way, i’ll still purge something like that. i dont go on the kind of crazy binges ive heard a lot of people with eds do, like 3k or 6k meals. thats not from a sense of superiority, i just genuinely dont have access to enough food to do crazy binges like that

i think this is why i dont purge as much as i could be. sometimes a meal is so small i just cant be bothered to even try. like after some meals im just glued to my bed and wont get up for hours.

i was gonna add more to this, but truly i already feel sick thinking about it. i didnt think just writing about it would make my cravings kick in so bad.

either way, im going to keep going, till im pleased with my weight i guess. my psychologist recommended me to an eating disorder therapist. i hate the idea of recovery, but just having someone to talk to will be nice i guess. maybe it’ll hep me redirect the anger i feel towards my bestfriend for making me feel unheard. i hope it does. i truly love and care about her and i want to stop having these negative hateful thoughts.

#cw ed #cw vent #cw food

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theantiproduct · 3 years

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#i miss my brother so much #everytime we talk i cry lol it feels so shit not being able to see him and the kids i feel like they're forgetting who the fuck i am #he keeps talking about me moving there and there's nothing i want more but it'll probably never happen #not unless I'll find a job there or something #idk man life is too hard idk how people do this shit #idk what to do if i get an apartment now i won't be able to just up and go when the pandemic dies down i wanna spend like two months away #i need a fucking break from this year of total shit #so idk idk I'm on hold and i guess now it's a bit better since i talked to my folks but I'm still suffocating here #I've also decided to wait with dating again lol the one bad date was enough #dude made a shit comment on my appearance and i only caught it a day later #i think i looked great tbh so idc but i just dont need that rn #soooooooo life and stuff am i right #also an old friend who stopped talking to me keeps messaging me and if you're reading this stop that pls u made your choice #people are exhausting #all i know is the minute i can I'm buying a plane ticket and leaving for a bit #that's the one thing I'm sure of #other than that idk and imma have to figure it out #if i had one of the 3 things i need i would be sorted lol probably not tho #get me a man a job and an apartment and I'll be unstoppable #i know im kidding myself but yeah I'm pretty much missing the basics rn #started looking for a job so that's a start #can't wait to be a slave to capitalism #brain rambles I'm just sad and tired #personal

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yostresswritinggirl · 3 years

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@butterfly-mochi Rewrote this freaking thing thrice because it keeps getting deleted wth tumblr agjvahkfajkvk- I enjoyed writing it a lot tho and since I’m too weak to the characters I ended up writing for all of them (except for Sucrose, im sorry bb huhu, I ran out of brain power). This is my first time writing for so many of them in one go so please excuse me for any mistakes or blandness ywy thank you for letting me write for my baby Ganyu too hhhhh

Universe Reversal 2

Genshin Impact Character Reader and Modern Players with Zhongli, Childe & Ganyu (how they simp for you) (event masterlist / Part 1 / Part 3)

Zhongli the F2P

The most relatable out of the bunch because this man is still broke and can only rely on the primogems he can farm. And he had a LOT. The one thing he doesn’t have a lot on, however, is his luck.

So how did he manage to pull you?: Well after exhausting all his primogem on your banner with nothing but weapons and other characters, he has lost his resolve. But by some weird luck, there was a character bug that was fixed and in his email was the almighty consolation primogem. Enough for ONE pull. And by the Gods he FINALLY got you.

He’d nonchalantly post his screenshot of pulling you using a single acquaint fate in his friend group without any words and everyone else just loses their shit. “You got them in one pull?!” “Yeah” A riot.

This was partnered with the fact that not only is Zhongli an F2P player, but also barely has any five star characters.

He looks calm and apathetic over the news, but behind the screen he’s exhausted and relieved, silently livid.

He has no primogems left to squeeze for a constellation so you’re instead pampered with the best weapon suitable for you (because that’s all he keeps getting).

Zhongles spends most of his time farming for materials to quickly level you up, unlocking all your stories and voiceline, but he fucked up on your build (his artifacts are messy).

He follows communities, forums and videos regarding your character to know all the things he needs to perfect your build. You can barely make a dent against normal mobs, so he knew he was doing something VERY wrong.

Is the type of person to keep refreshing the page for new content, very updated.

Ask him a question about your character and he’s gonna bring you the word vomit that is his research. He’s not gonna stop- probably accidentally developed a copypasta for you.

Also follows your VA in both Tiktok and Twitter to indulge in every bit of content. He also has that screenshot of his pull saved and locked.

On his birthday, a friend of his gifted him a chibi plushie of you and he has treasured it ever since, treating and handling it like its a figurine.

“It is merely pure luck and grace from the gacha gods that I got this character, and I will make sure that they know I am very grateful for this fortune.”

Favorite Voiceline: Birthday Message

Childe The Whaler

This lucky wealthy bastard with no remorse for his money whales for EVERY character. He’s making a collection, which is to get all the characters, especially the five stars. So when your banner finally popped up, he’s gonna square up and trigger a whole ass meteor shower.

How he pulled you: Money. His luck with this games are actually not the best so he always compensates with money, he got you halfway through the first failed pity, almost giving him a heart attack that he might actually break the bank just to get you.

And then he pulls more to raise your constellation lol.

The first thing he does is look over your character info and read through it all; constellation infos, your base stats, artifact compatibility.

At the end when he’s maximized everything, he would then focus on playing around with your character *coughs climbing noises coughs*

He thought you’d just be another part of his collection but playing with your character was very enjoyable and in-line with his playstyle- oops 100 screenshots with the Kamera-

Any and all merchandise that he fancies would be his, and he’s definitely flexing it to the other sweetie nerds who call themselves simps. He’s fighting for the simping title, and he’s currently neck and neck with this fanartist in Pixiv.

Speaking of that fanartist, he definitely commissioned an expensive and detailed portrait of you, full rights and everything. No one else was allowed to use it but him.

Was also the first one with the audacity to call out your VA to create an account on Tiktok to create more content with your voice. He was successful.

His obssession also comes in the form of self-indulgent contents, and had been keeping track of the ship wars happening. During conventions, he cosplays as the character shipped with you the most (or the character he thinks should end up with you).

Silently scrutinizing those who cosplay you, only ever taking pictures with/of the best looking one, sorry haha

Definitely flaunts that you are his waifu/husbando and will fight for best girl/best boy during debates or polls. Has mobilized the community to vote for you once. He’s very persuasive.

“Hm? Why I’m just the best collector in the game, and I am more than happy to let everyone know that I am their number one fan haha, everyone who claims otherwise is definitely wrong!”

Favorite Voiceline: More About (Y/N) I-IV, (Y/N)’s Hobbies...

Ganyu the Employed

Ganyu, our dearest overworker, is one of the players in the older stage who actually has a job but still plays Genshin for their past times. The gorgeous sceneries and the music is her main focus in playing the game, not much of a try-hard but still decent in the combat mechanics.

How she pulled you: You came home within 50 pulls! And you appeared again after another 10 pull! Ganyu was so SHOOKT and so distressed because oh goodness, what does she do? She doesn’t know anything much about you!

Will rewatch your three trailers to try and understand your skills better, ended up saving the soundtracks from them because that was such a nice trailer music! Tnbee gains a new follower!

Ganyu will take a while before she can properly play or build you up because she’s so busy with work, she only ever plays when she feels fully done with her work.

During her break she plays with your character while multi-tasking on eating, earphones plugged in and sight on the phone as she farms materials and artifacts for you.

The moment she gets more help from her player friends tho, holy shit, you just ended up being so OP. She had so many good artifacts and weapons for you because she didn’t know what they were for before.

She loves how you’re so easy to use and can easily solo the enemies and even the boss fights. A huge breather, because now Ganyu can cheese the battles that takes a while, to give her more time to focus on the storyline and lores.

Since Ganyu plays for the story and aesthetic, she’ll find you almost always in her team. Still very proud of her pull, she makes the best screenshots of your fights or in the best angle through exploration.

Treasures you so much she starts talking to her phone- “Ah, no, please don’t fall.” “There’s violetgrass up there, let’s try and get it”

Blushes everytime you produce a sound when climbing, doesn’t change you anyways tho

Hums to your trailer music while working, and if permitted, would have the song on repeat while she buries herself in work. She finds it really refreshing and the time she spends in work miraculously flies by fast when she gets lost in the sound.

At one point, when she was given a day-off or if the convention was on her free time, she attends to look for cosplayers of you and take a picture. No one rejects her because she’s so adorable and cute when asking shyly.

Had brought a decent amount of merchandise, preferably the functional/practical ones like a phone cover, mug or keychain. Also has an earphones clamp with your little chibi self as the holder.

When asked, she would shyly announce that she likes your character the most.

“Their character theme and music really soothes me during work, it feels nice to have them, and I have not once regretted ever pulling for them. They are the best.”

Favorite Voicelines: Good Night/Afternoon..., About Us, Something To Share..., Interesting Things...

so enjoyable...

@moaa @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @dandelion-dreams @snackgod @rxsalinee

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #zhongli x reader #childe x reader #ganyu x reader #genshin impact zhongli #genshin impact childe #genshin impact ganyu #exile.circlet #exile.flower #sojourner specials #reeeeeeeeee #gender neutral

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