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insideoliviasmind · 3 months

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Tonight, we write.

The world is chaos, and it is out of our control. Straight to my core I believe the world will begin to erupt into Word War 3. And who knows what that will entail, but I agree with what Donald Trump recently said, "this is not going to be a regular war... army tanks running back and forth shooting each other... this is weapons of mass destruction, the likes of which nobody has ever seen... this is obliteration... this is not war like we are used to... annihilation". I heard what he said and I felt what he meant. I believe that unfortunately, science and chemistry has gone too far. Humankind is in possession of unthinkable WMD, that can most likely wipe out entire country(ies) with a single click of a button. And who is going to make this decision? Who gets to decide who lives and dies? Who gets to decide who is right or wrong? No human is perfect - but how many of us will die as a collective punishment? Who will click the button first? If there were a vote, how many of us would vote against? Why would you ever vote for death if peace was an option? Imperialism or peace?

Which of us will be conscripted? Will it be my brother, your brother, my father, or your father? My neighbours son, or your neighbours son? Which of us will die? Who will live? Which religion, or entity will be next to rule the world? What are they planning? What are they hiding? But that's the funny thing about this system, we never truly had a say, did we? That is way out of all of our control. Our fate is in the hands of the rich and powerful.

I am shocked at the silence within the "real" world, while we are on the brink of Nuclear warfare and WW3. No country is safe at this time. We are also live streaming the genocide of the beautiful Palestinian's in Gaza. And yet we are forced to go to work everyday, like the government slaves that we are. Depending on where you work you probably aren't even allowed to talk about it. I would probably be reprimanded just for wearing the keffiyeh. And I would never wear it as an insult towards the Jews or the people of Israel. I am wearing my heart on my sleeve for Gaza. I think about the people of Gaza everyday. I think about how misguided humankind has become, while we justify killing each other. Killing each other in mass numbers. Developing weapons that quite frankly we just shouldn't have. What is happening within the world is a breach of human moral code. It is a 4k display of our blatant lack of regard for one another.

As corny as this might sound, I don't hate Israel. I do not hate the United States. I do not hate Russia. I do not hate North Korea, Iran, Yemen, the UK, Sweden. I hate nobody. In fact it is quite the opposite, I love everybody. I have a true love for mankind, and the beautiful planet we have been blessed with. And the truth of the matter is, we are destroying it and taking it for granted each and every day, while all of our lives get shorter, and shorter. While the life expectancy of our planet gets shorter, and shorter.

Why can't we live in peace. Just live and let live. Let's not colonize, threaten, steal, enslave, imperialize, collectively punish, label, murder, or judge one another. Instead, why can't we all just step out the front door and take a breath of fresh air to see how lucky we are to even be here in the first place?

Even before reverting to Islam, I always thought that no human being should have the right to decide when another should die. I believe that this a decision for Allah SWT to make.

Ever since I declared my Shahada, I have been more at peace with things that are out of my control. It is largely possible that I could die tomorrow at the hands of my own people (humankind). I can accept my fate, however, I am terrified.

How are you feeling about our world today?

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insideoliviasmind · 28 days

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I'm struggling with my Borderline Personality Disorder. I have so many emotions that thinking about organizing them and writing them into this entry makes me physically ill. It's like I have all of these emotions that I need to expel from my body, but I don't ever dare to do it because I don't want to put this on anyone else. God forbid someone heard some of the things I think about. The things I think are dark. I feel miserable, I feel lost, I feel like I am completely unable to work because I feel incapacitated. My patience is thinner (actually I've been on the verge of exploding for the last week). I want to smash things. I want to cry. Thinking of self-h@rm (but won't...). This system is fucked. I feel like a government slave, working 5 days a week and barely having enough money to take myself to dinner after all of my bills are paid. I hate it here. I wish I was normal.

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