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kaitycole · 3 years

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Love One: the love that looks right

Summary: Ushijima has been your neighbor and best friend for most of your life, so it's no surprise that you two end up being each other's first relationship. But can a relationship that's label as perfect from the beginning, that's seen as being 'The One', can it last?

Parings: Ushijima x Reader

Word Count: 4916

Warnings: Fluff? Light angst.

Rating: 16+

A/N: This series is based on an article that talks about how in live, most of us experience three types of love. I’ll link the article in the series master post for anyone who wants to read it!

2000 – 6 years old

“Toshi! Toshi!” You ran down the steps in front of your house, skipping across the yard and into the neighboring yard, continuing to shout out of the young boy. You found him, watering can in hand, inspecting some plant whose name you can’t remember even though he’s told you several times.

A smirk appeared as you slowed your pace, creeping up behind him before you jumped onto his back, yelling his name a bit too loudly and too close to his ear. He gasped, water spilled everywhere as the can fell, and before he could balance his footing, you fell off his back, landing directly on his plant.

“Oops, sorry Toshi.” You took the hand that he offered, fixed your eyes on the tips of your shoes, tears pooled in your eyes. “It was an accident. Promise.”

He didn’t say anything, gentle hands tried to get the plant to stand, but the broken stem caused it to just fall back onto the soil. His face remained stoic and you couldn’t help but feel terrible, waiting for him to get mad at you. But he didn’t, he just stared at the broken plant, small hands tightly gripped the watering can handle.

He finally looked over at you, tears fell down your cheeks as you stood there, trembling.

He looked around until bright yellow and blue caught your eye, walking to the other side of the yard he picked up the volleyball, turning towards you. “Let’s play.”

A huge smile tugged at your lips before you eagerly agreed, running over towards him, this time just throwing your arms around him. Even though you do most of the talking and he’s usually just going along with one of your various demands, Wakatoshi always seemed to know how to make you feel better. After all, you had both promised to be best friends forever.

* * 2010– 16 years old

You let out a sigh, tugging at the purple tie around your neck before glancing out the window. For some reason that day just won’t end, each minute creeping by at a snail-pace, but the blur of green catches your eye. You watch at Ushijima walks through the courtyard, carrying some large box for a teacher who seems to be repeatedly thanking him and you can’t help but smile.

The Ushijimas have been in your life since before you were even born, both of your dads had attended Shiratorizawa Academy back in the day and never really lost contact, even when Utsui moved overseas. Unlike Ushijima, you have a younger brother who’s five years younger than you, but most days the two of you would be found together, usually with either him suggesting volleyball or him just dragging his feet to follow after whatever you wanted to do.

The bell finally rings, signaling the lunch break and you eagerly pack up your books before grabbing your bag and heading out to the courtyard. At first you were worried about school, wondering how you’d be able to fit in, but you ended up going to the same schools with Ushijima and even if you’d only get a small head nod, you still knew he was there. The downside was the amounts of classmates that would try to use you to get close to him, those confessing their crushes for him to you in hopes you’d spread it along with a good word. Not to mention the lack of confessions you’d receive due to the intimidating aura that surrounded Ushijima and the well-known fact you two were close.

“Y/N!” Your best friend, Ren, smiles as she waves you over to your usual table. Ren is one of the only girls who hadn’t tried to get you to talk them up to Ushijima, her sight is set on Yamagata Hayato.

“You okay? You look tired.” Tensei asks, sitting across from you, unscrewing the bottle of juice in his hand.

“The day just feels like it’s dragging for some reason.” You let out a small yawn, excusing yourself as you start to eat the lunch you packed.

“Are you—” Ren starts before she’s interrupted, a random second year coming up to your table.

“Hey, L/N-san,” she starts, “is Ushijima seeing anyone?”

You want to roll your eyes, to let out an agitated sigh and tell her to just leave, but you don’t because it’s not entirely her fault that you get asked this frequently. You couldn’t blame her, he was easy on the eyes, but it didn’t stop part of you from getting a tad bit jealous.

“He’s actually in a committed relationship with Mizuna.” Tensei says, trying to hold back a laugh.

“Or was it Misaka?” Ren teasingly add, watching the second year cross her arms as she storms off.

“You two are trouble.” You laugh, taking a bit of the sandwich you brought, “what are you gonna do when she figures out they are sporting brands?”

“I doubt it. She’ll probably spend the rest of the term trying to figure out which year and class they are in.”

You just shake your head, completely entertained by that idea, mentally noting to use that next time someone asked you about Ushijima’s relationship status. Ren and Tensei are talking about something, but your focus shifts to Ushijima as you see him and Tendou walking through the courtyard, missing the smirk that your two friends share.

“Y/N,” you snap your attention to Ren, “speaking of Ushijima, when are you two going to date?”

It feels like the wind has been knocked out of you, but when you try to breathe in, it’s an icy sensation like winter air. The topic has come up before, several times in fact, but why did this time feel different? You feel your cheeks heat up when Ushijima makes eye contact, he throws up a hand, the closest anyone gets to a wave from him.

“You guys would make a good couple.” Tensei adds, getting an encouraging nod from Ren.

“We’re just friends.” You wave them both off, hoping they’d let it go.

Ren shrugs, “I don’t know. He looks at you differently than everyone else.”

You feel your heart start to thump against your chest, the heat from your cheeks rising to your ears and all you can hear is your racing heart. Did he? Was there a chance that maybe he felt the same way you had? It didn’t take a genius to see that he’s handsome or that even if he’s not the brightest academically, he makes up for it with his athletics.

It never bothered you when you had to help him study, in fact you preferred it because the little crease he got between his eyebrows when he was determined to get something, it was one of your favorite sights. You just never bothered to voice those feelings, hoping that maybe it would help things hurt less when he started dating someone else.

** “Y/N~”

“Tendou!” You jump up from the spot you’ve been sitting outside the gym, wrapping the middle blocker into a hug.

“Have you been out here the whole time? It’s cold, Y/N!”

You give him a sheepish smile, “I forgot my jacket and was waiting for Toshi.”

Tendou shakes his head before tightening his hug around you, he’s warm and you try to soak up the heat. “Ushijima, give me your jacket.” “You have yours on, why do you need mine?” “Just hand it here.” Tendou leans his head backwards to see Ushijima, “please~”

Unfazed, the wing spiker slips out of his jacket, handing it over. Tendou takes it and drapes it over your shoulders, it practically swallows your smaller frame.

“Thanks,” you mumble, basking in the warmth the oversized jacket brings you, your nose burying into the collar as you take in Wakatoshi’s scent. Your eyes widen when you realize what you’re doing, the heat you felt at lunch covering your face again.

“Y/N?” The tall olive-brown haired boy calls out to you and you slowly peak around Tendou, who has a mischievous grin on his face.

“Hey there, Toshi!” You grip the strap of your bag a bit tighter.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming, I’d have given you my jacket before practice.” There’s a flicker of concern in his eyes as he walks closer to you.

“I was fine, really.” You smile up at him before Tendou announces his departure leaving just the two of you. It’s not an uncommon situation, you grew up together but for some reason ever since lunch, just the topic of Ushijima leaves you a mess. Ren’s comment from lunch running through your mind repeatedly.

He looks at you differently than everyone else.

“Ren said we should date.” You tell him, laughing as you recall the conversation. The walk to your dorms is rather peaceful, the two of you exchanging highlights of your day, er well more of you talking about everything that happened while Ushijima listens.

“Okay.”

“Hm?”

“Let’s date then.” Ushijima says matter-of-factly, before he leaves you standing in front of your dorm, dazed and confused, as he heads towards his.

** Your eyes are closed, sleep still weighing them down as you sling your bag over your shoulder, opening the door of your room to head out. But you stop abruptly when you feel yourself run into something, or rather someone and looking up confirms it’s Toshi.

“Uh—” You’re at a loss for what to say, this wasn’t something that happened…ever. Sure, you’d both would sometimes hang out in each other’s rooms, but he never just showed up to yours first thing in the morning.

“Good morning, Y/N.” His voice is his usual even tone which confuses you even more because Ushijima didn’t do anything without a reason, everything had purpose.

“Toshi?” He raises an eyebrow at your question, “don’t take this the wrong way, but uhm, why are you here?”

“Tendou said people in relationships do things like walking to classes and such together. Should I not have come?”

For the first time in 10 years, Ushijima looks unsure and even a bit nervous which is new to you. He’s always put together on the court and at school that it’s almost refreshing to know this was as nerve-wracking for him as it is you.

“I like that you came.” You smile up to him, closing your door before you both begin walking down the hallway. The warmth his hand brings yours causes your heart to thump against your ribs, his larger hand embracing yours. “Tendou tell you about that too?” “No, I figured this out on my own.” He clears his throat, looking away from you but slow enough for you to catch the faint blush under his eyes.

** A month had passed since you and Toshi started dating before you had been able to go home and tell both sets of parents. You felt that a phone call would’ve sufficed, if you were honest, Toshi’s mom scared you a bit, but he persuaded you that in person was better.

The first half of the dinner is awkward, the atmosphere feels heavy around you as you engage in simple small talk about your studies and clubs, luckily for you Toshi had lots to say about volleyball and took over the conversation.

“Anything new in your lives?” Toshi’s mom gave you a look and you could’ve swore that she already knew.

“Actually, Y/N and I are dating.” Toshi’s tone is flat and even, throwing you off on how he just continues eating after dropping such a bomb. It wasn’t lost on you that his family still has traditional views and part of you wonders if you’re good enough to fill the spot at his side. A comforting hand is placed on your thigh, as if he’s read your mind and you smile to yourself.

“That’s wonderful news.” His mother smiles, turning to yours before they start discussing officially announcing the relationship (whatever that meant) and how it was about time the two of you got together. Listening to them going on and on about things made a lot of your worries fade away, it was a relief that they both were so onboard with the relationship.

* * 2011 – 17 years old

It’s been a year since you started dating Ushijima and it’s been a lot different that you thought it would be, not that you thought about it that much. And while things didn’t seem to change all that much, they changed completely. You weren’t just two friends walking to classes, but a couple. You weren’t just watching his matches like a childhood friend, but as a supportive partner.

When you had thought of dating, of being in a relationship, there was always the anticipation of getting to know your partner, but with Ushijima, you don’t get that. With Ushijima, it’s just seeing what you’re always known within a different light, but somehow that makes you feel like he’s ‘The One’ because how romantic is it to fall in love with the one who has been by your side for as long as you can remember? Even with the deep level of comfort you two share, your face still heats up when he reaches down to grab your hand, when he leans to kiss you goodnight and even when someone refers to him as your boyfriend.

* * “SHIIIIRATORIZAWA!!”

The beatings of drums and cheers of support fill the gymnasium, your voice getting hoarse from chanting as loudly as you can. For as long as you can remember, you attended Toshi’s volleyball games and somewhere during one of the games you found yourself truly loving the sport. Nothing really changed now that you were dating, other than the fact you seemed your swell up with even more pride when he hit spike or made a service ace and you were also seen sporting one of his spare athletic jackets with a simple purple shirt.

There was just something special about seeing the person you love doing something they’re so passionate about that make it impossible to not smile the whole time you’re watching them.

“You two are the cutest couple!”

“Oh, thank you.” Even after a year, you still weren’t used to people commenting on your relationship, mostly because no other relationship was talked about as much as yours.

“Talk about a perfect match!”

Another classmate seems to appear out of nowhere, adding the other comments, “I’m so jealous!”

You try to drown out their conversation, not wanting to hear about their surface deep comments, but you can’t. Standing up you look at the court one more time, Ushijima clearly in his element, a few points away from taking not just the set, but the match. Then, for the first time since you started attending his matches, you left the game early.

** “So, Y/N, when’s the wedding?” Ren jokes, getting a glare from Tensei who wants to get back to the focus of their gathering: studying for their upcoming math exam.

“What?” There’s a lot more panic in your voice that you intended and you can’t help but feel your face burn with embarrassment. You grab your math textbook, trying to hide your face before either of them sees, but of course they do.

“You and Toshi, are you planning to get married out of high school? Or waiting until after college?”

“Clearly Y/N wants to get back to studying. You remember, the whole reason we are here?” Tensei side eyes Ren before shaking his head. The two start to bicker back and forth, arguing about if breaks are really needed during studying or if they just cause unnecessary distractions that derail the whole point.

Your thoughts have you far from their debate and more so on what Ren asked. Marriage, it wasn’t like you didn’t think about it happening…eventually. But lately the whole concept, even the word alone has you on edge.

Back when you first started dating, you two were quick to share the news with your families and while you had a feeling they assumed this would happen eventually, they still seemed thrilled. Part of you could barely contain your happiness that your relationship had been accepted so quickly, knowing from movies and books you’ve read, not all relationships get family support. Another part of you was filled with a sinking feeling, a fear that eventually as your relationship grew and matured, the expectations from your families would increase, and they were doing just that.

Just a few weeks ago, you heard both of your mothers talking about it between themselves, seemingly making plans without any consideration of you or Toshi’s feelings. After that it left you wondering about your future and how your plans would fit into the heavy expectations the Ushijimas seemed to already have. Remembering the almost pitying laugh Toshi’s mother had given when you mentioned going to college and how she was quick to remind you that someone had to be the stay-at-home parent with children and Toshi couldn’t since he had a promising future in volleyball.

** “Happy birthday, Y/N!” Ren, Tensei and Tendou shout at you, crossing the courtyard to get closer to the table you were sitting at. Embarrassment crept across your skin, feeling like everyone’s eyes were suddenly on you, something you hated.

“Thanks.” You give them all a tight ‘please never do that again’ smile which just makes them laugh.

“Y/N.”

The voice causes you to quickly turn and you see Toshi standing there, a slightly obnoxiously large bouquet in his hand and you wish you hadn’t felt so embarrassed over your friends because now you definitely knew people were looking.

It had been a while since you and Toshi had gotten together for more than ten minutes, his schedule had gotten busier, you couldn’t remember when he was ever this busy before. You couldn’t help but smile at the fact that he remembered your birthday and gotten you something.

“Toshi!” You throw your arms around him, smiling even more when he tells you happy birthday, loud enough for just you to hear.

Comments about how cute you two were, how great a relationship you had start to fill the courtyard and while you usually get sick of hearing it, it reminded you that you didn’t have much to complain about. Sure, Toshi’s schedule seemed to get busier every day, but he still carved time out for you and that’s what really mattered.

* * 2012 – 18 years old

You look up and towards the door when you hear the bell ring, hoping that it’s Toshi. The two of you agreed to meet up at a café before seeing a movie, he was running a bit late because he had a meeting with Coach Washijō. A deep sigh leaves you as you realize that it’s not Toshi and instead you are still alone.

DING!

Toshi: Coach Washijō wants me to meet with some alumni players. (12:31PM) Toshi: I can’t make it today. (12:32PM)

You should’ve seen it coming, honestly. He has always been a force in the volleyball circuit, but with graduation coming up and professional scouters about, he seems to be in even more demand. You are proud of him, proud of all he’s accomplished, but as his partner, you felt like you were just getting the short end of the stick most of the time.

** “I’m all yours today, I promise.” Toshi says, standing at your room door, a small bouquet of flowers in his hand.

You can’t help but smile, you’re still upset about yesterday, but you know he’s trying and that the small amount of free time he actually gets, he spends with you. You step aside and let him in and he takes a seat in your desk chair, even after years of being friends and almost two years of dating, he refuses to just sit on your bed. He really could be a huge dork sometimes.

“Did you have something in mind?” You wrap your blanket back around you, originally planning to spend your free Sunday catching up on shows you missed.

“Anything you want to do, I owe you.”

A mischievous smirk crosses your face as you jump up, rushing into the bathroom. “Face masks!”

He nods, “whatever you want.”

** You look over at your calendar that’s hanging on the wall, today’s date is circled and you feel a little silly for being so upset. Today marks two years with Toshi, but for what felt like the hundredth time this month, you were in your room alone. He had sent flowers and a small gift, of course, he never missed sending something on anniversaries, birthdays or other holidays, but coming second to volleyball was getting old.

The part of you that is petty wants to think Coach Washijō is doing it on purpose, but what did you think would happen when dating one of the top 3 aces in Japan? Still, you just thought this time could be different. Then you were hit with an overwhelming feeling that this would be your life. At least your life if you ended up staying with Toshi. He would go pro, you knew that and with his family’s traditional ways, you’d end up staying at home with children your mothers had envisioned for you, not bothering to ask either of you what you wanted.

Waiting, that’s what their future held for you, just waiting for him to come home. And just like yesterday and today, every day would just feel the same.

Did you want that?

There was nothing wrong with those who wanted that life, but it wasn’t ever what you thought yours would be. You wanted to go to a good university, to join the career field you dreamed of and definitely saw traveling in that future.

What’s worse that the feeling of a bleak future is knowing if you told Toshi, he’d do anything he could to fix it. And what’s worse that that is the feeling that while you love him so much you could feel it deep in your bones, a future without him was more desirable that one with him.

How could a relationship that seemed so perfect to everyone around you, feel so wrong to those in it?

** “Mom?”

“Hmm?”

Finals were just around the corner and Toshi had thought it would be a good idea for the two of you to visit home, not to mention being at home meant less volleyball obligations and more time he could spend with you.

“I don’t think things are going to work out with Toshi.”

The room stilled, though you’re sure if it had been a movie scene, the glass vase in her hands would’ve shattered as it hit the ground.

Yesterday when you two got home, both your parents had been acting strange, so happy that it was like they were floating. It wasn’t until later in the night when you met up with Toshi for a walk that he told you his mother mentioned you two getting engaged, dropping not subtle hints of a post-graduation proposal.

The ground fell from beneath you, all the air in your lungs being sucked out, the only thing saving you was how Toshi told you that he didn’t agree with her plans. That you two should be the ones discussing it, not your parents and that his focus on volleyball blurred out things like proposals and weddings. Even with those words, you still knew how hard it would be for family-oriented Wakatoshi to go against his family; the thought of how different he would be if his dad had raised him crossed your mind.

“Whatever the problem is, I’m sure you can fix it.”

You snort, how cliché for her to blame you. “I just don’t know if our futures line up. We both want such different lives.’

She finally turns to face you, her jaw clenched, “nonsense, you two are perfect together.”

Perfect.

That word has long been on a list of words you hate, one you are tired of hearing, sick of being called that when you know it was far from true. By definition, it means having desirable qualities or characteristic, something that was as good as it could possibly. If you tried hard enough to see your relationship from an outsider’s perspective, maybe after you squint hard enough you could see it. Could understand why perfect was used, how great things looked. You had a boyfriend who would try to move the sun for you if you asked, one who did his best to be there for you and see every chance he got, on the surface level you really had nothing to complain about.

But on the inside, you were two ships passing in opposite directions. Maybe it was true that some relationships are just too good to be true, that some people are better as just friends, that some friendships can’t last when changed to a relationship.

** “Y/N~”

You look over to see Tendou practically skipping towards you, a smile on his face while he wrapped his arms around you from behind, leaning to rest his chin on your shoulder.

“Tendou!”

“What’s wrong?” He lets go of, taking the empty seat beside you. You had been sitting on a bench, hoping some fresh air could clear your head. It was just a few days until graduation and the looming expectations of both families started weighing down more, plus Toshi was even more busy with volleyball since word got out that he had gotten a few offers already, so you didn’t have anyone to really talk to about it.

“Nothing. Just tired.” As soon as the words leave your mouth, you know Tendou doesn’t believe you. He had an uncanny ability to pick up on things like that.

“Tell me, Y/N.”

That’s all it took for you to finally break, the mix of the gently words and his soft tone. He listened as you tell him about Toshi’s traditional family (most of which he already knows) and the over the top expectations both your families seem to have.

How a future together seems more like a nightmare than a dream come true but not because you don’t love him, maybe because you love him too much. Love him so much that you don’t want him pushed into some life just or being with you. And by the time you finish up by telling him how it’s been hurting you to hold everything in, not wanting to burden Toshi, you are in tears.

** “Can we talk, Y/N?”

You nod, biting on the inside of your cheek. Graduation had been a week ago and since coming home, your parents (namely mother) had been discussing wedding plans and wondering just when Toshi would pop the questions, so it’s no surprise when they light up when seeing it’s him at the door.

He takes your hand, gently squeezing when he feels you flinch, the notion instantly calming you. He motions for you to sit on a bench in the nearby park that you’ve been walking towards, but when he sighs, you start to worry.

“I spoke to Tendou a few days ago and he helped me understand a few things.” “Toshi, I—”

He holds up a hand, “please let me talk first.”

You nod, noting a small crack in his voice as he squats in front of you, taking your hands.

“My life has always been volleyball, it’s what I’m good at and I know that being a boyfriend isn’t something I’m good at. But even with that, you still carried our relationship even when you stopped being happy.” He keeps his eyes focused on your hands, leaving you to look at the top of his head. “Now It’s time for me to take the burden from you and I’m okay with being the bad guy if it means that you’ll smile like you used to. So, Y/N, will you break up with me?”

You burst into laughter and tear, knowing that he must’ve been given that words from Tendou and practiced them ‘because it didn’t sound like him. “Our parents are going to be disappointed.” He shrugs, “I’ll blame volleyball.”

You wipe the tears from your cheeks, the sleeve of your sweater gets a bit damp. “It hurts because I love you so much.”

He grabs your wrists, tugging you into his chest, the calming scent of his body wash soothes you. “I love you too.”

“Is it selfish to ask if we can still be friends?” You nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck, fresh tears pricking your eyes. How was it fair that two people who love each other so deeply, just weren’t meant to be? You didn’t have a breakup to compare this one too, but you didn’t think anything else could ever hurt this much.

“I believe someone declared we’d be friends forever. I might have been a bad boyfriend, but I think I’m a good friend.”

Smiling, you look at him, he wipes the tears away with his thumb, his hand cupping your cheek. “I don’t think you were a bad boyfriend, just a busy one.” “You were a perfect girlfriend.” He stands up, pulling you to your feet as well.

“I can still come to your games, right? Having an ex wouldn’t be too weird?” “No. I’ll always need my number one fan.”

Likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated!

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#haikyuu!!#haikyuu ushijima #ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima x reader #haikyuu au #haikyuu ushiwaka #hq fluff #hq angst #my three loves #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu reader insert #ushijima x gn!reader #haikyuu mini series #kaitycole MTL #the love that feels right #hq first love

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darklingichor · 6 years

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Gilmore Girls Season Two, Episodes 8 & 9

It would be nice to watch one episode of this show where someone I regularly see doesn't set my teeth on edge. I grew up watching weekly TV and it is possible to have conflict between recurring characters where you don't want to put one into a medically induced coma, so they can grow a new personality.

So I can see why I didn't remember much about this episode. Three things that were awesome: Mia, Luke giving Lorelei a pep talk, the development of the painting.

The rest is annoying.

Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with flights between friends. If everyone was always skipping through meadows it would be stupid. However, as I've said before, I have a problem with conflicts that come about because people don't open their damned mouths. As fast and as often as Lorelei talks, she couldn't say to Sookie “Mia selling this place scares me because this is where Rory and I started out” ? I know that sometimes friends pick fights with each other when they are stressed but in my experience, once you get into your 30s and have friends that have known each other, long enough you can tell that's what happening. There have been numerous times when my best friend or I have started a conversation where one of us is just geared up for a fight. My friend let's me get about ten words in before she says “You're acting weird, tell me what's wrong.” I can be a little more blunt saying something along the lines of “What are you pissed off about?” She has two kids so once I turned the mom tables on her and said: “Use your words”.

Basically a blind cat could see that Lorelei was being an ass and it had nothing to do with Sookie. I have a hard time buying that Sookie wouldn't see it. Why did there need a fight in the first place? Was the script too short? Lorelei could have been freaked out and been a little quiet with Sookie and it would have had the same effect. Luke could have just as easily asked how Lorelei was doing with the business stuff, and they could have had the same heart-to-heart. Lorelei could have come to Sookie and explained why she was being so weird, and they could have had a similar moment. The script must have been two minutes too short.

The town turning on Luke... Yep, officially dislike Jess. Also, not too happy with the rest of the town. I'm a little biased here. I grew up in a small town, while there were no town meetings where everyone got together to decide who to treat badly, there were certain people who were just routinely shit upon. It usually had to do with what last name you had. Two families in particular were sort of singled out as “bad news”. The weird part? Everyone in town (except for a very very small number of people) were in some way related to those two families, hell, those two families were related to each other. It always seemed crazy to me... But then I was one of those few people not related to anyone in town maybe it made sense if you had an inside track?

Anyway, I get where the town is coming from, sort of. Jess is a pain in the ass, but he is doing minor mischief. Star's Hollow should count themselves lucky that they aren't a bigger town because Jess is the type to match his mayhem to the town. In a bigger place, there just might have been a dead animal outside the store instead of a chalk outline.

I did love Rory telling him off. I don't really get why Rory would find the prank funny. I mean, she likes the town, right? And while her and her mom do like seeing Star's Hollow residents be quirky she's never really shown any love of chaos. I mean, yeah, Jess is being the G rated version of Loki, but he's still making a lot of people unhappy. I would think that that alone would annoy Rory.

Also, the vibe I got was that he did the whole prank as a way to get Rory's attention... What's the thought process?

“How do I impress the pretty girl who reads a lot? Talk to her about books? Movies? Just talk to her in general? Nah, too common. I know! Dead body chalk outline and police tape! That's not freakishly odd and totally not an idea I should seek therapy for!”

Then again, I also don't get the thought process of “How do I fix the fact that I made the whole town turn on my uncle? I'll fix the toaster, now we're square!”

Jess is both weird and annoying.

I did like the interaction between Emily and Mia. It is weird because I see both sides. I totally get why Emily would be upset that Mia didn't send her home, but on the other hand I get why Mia didn't. Mia didn't send her home because she couldn't have.

Think about it. A sixteen-year-old turns up with a baby, asking for a job, she has steel and determination in her eyes. If you tell her no, you can tell she's not going to give up. She'll just move on to a place that would hire her and maybe that wouldn't be a place where she and her baby would be safe. If you give her a job and a place to stay and then try to make her go home. You can't be sure that she'll actually go home or stay home, that leaves the pair of them in the same iffy situation. Mia knew that Lorelei and Rory would be safe with her, so she took them in.

Not saying Emily should be happy about it, but as always she is looking at how Lorelei leaving impacted her and Richard, not anyone else. She has never talked to Lorelei, asked what her thinking was, the why of it all. It is just all about Emily. That is annoying. But I do like that she seems to be taking small steps forward.

All in all a fairly forgettable episode.

Episode 8. Don't really know why I forgot this one as I really liked it. I loved the ice cream machine bit. I loved that Lorelei named it and called a bunch of relatives. She should have just donated it to Luke's! Even if he didn't need it he would have taken it. Made it into a planter or something.

I feel sorry for Paris for a number of reasons but this episode highlights one. She's laser focused on college, so much so that she's not getting the most out of her education. The assignment of interpreting Romeo and Juliet in a new way is a great one! It allows for the students to really look at and analyze the play, think about the themes consider which are universal and which were products of the time and culture it was written in. This allows for creative thinking and the development of the ability to think about and use what one is learning. But poor Paris is only worried about the grade and so afraid of taking risks that she will only go with what is standard. I speak from experience here, college will melt your brain until you learn how to think.

The teachers are worried because Rory doesn't socialize? I would think they would also be worried that Paris can't think beyond the rigid boundaries of what is written on a page. This school is supposed to prep the kids for college, right? They aren't doing anything differently than the public schools of the early 2000s (aside from the one rogue teacher, I guess).

I kinda like the fact that Paris ended up being Romeo. If they had used a more modern setting that could have been the plan from the start and the whole Tristian drama could have been avoided. I mean, they could have reinterpreted the whole “forbidden love” thing as a lesbian relationship or with the idea that Romeo might be a DFAB trans guy. It would have highlighted society's issues with non hetero, non binary identities. Hell, if they wanted to go deep they could have figured out a way to address the “LGBTQ+ people don't get happy endings” trope that is obvious in a lot of media.

That would have been interesting as Paris and Rory would have had to work together to make this believable and maybe come out of it with a better idea of each other's perspectives.

Speaking of perspective, it was a throw away joke but I liked that Lane's mom watched and came up with a different take on Romeo and Juliet. In my view, R&J is many things, but a love story it is not! What kind of great love story ends in teen suicide? Sure, I thought of it as a love story when I was younger as do a lot of teenagers. I think this makes a point about the play. Teenagers do dumb things out of emotion (adults do too, but that's a whole other line of thought). This doesn't mean that teens are dumb just that they are feeling things so intensely, probably because it is the first time they have felt these emotions that they do stuff that is not well-thought-out. Add parental pressure to that and you have a powder keg. I think R&J is more about how overly controlling parents can push their kids into dangerous situations. Also, to look at the play in a way that might not have been Shakespeare's intent, it could also be seen as a parable detailing why 14 year olds might not be ready for marriage, arranged or otherwise.

Anyway, the little “love triangle” between Christian, Rory, and Dean in this episode was less interesting. First off, I get that Rory is a pretty girl but why is she like catnip to all the boys? Are there really no other nice girls in Chilton or Star's Hollow? The way all the guys flock to and fight over her, you'd think she was dating a sparkly vampire.

Secondly, am I the only one who sees a lot of similarity between Tristian and Jess? Is that why Tristian had to go? Because he was redundant? It is sort of like Christopher and Max. They both could play the same role so one of them had to be cut. The writers needed to compare notes because I feel like there were a few “Oops, we wrote another doppelganger” discussions.

Thirdly, why is Rory still getting the blame for her and Dean's break up? The whole practice fight between Lorelei and Rory just highlights that Lorelei is sort of mean when it comes to this plot line. Dean told Rory he loved her and then got pissed and broke up with her because she didn't feel comfortable saying it back. How does this make Dean the victim? Just because one person is ready for the L word doesn't mean that the other person is, and that doesn't make the latter person bad. Acting like an ass and breaking up with someone you “love” because you didn't hear what you wanted to hear when you wanted to hear it makes that person a jerk.

This seems sort of like the whole “friend zone” myth. A dude decided he wants to date someone but that person doesn't want to date him therefore it is the other person's fault because the dude wants to date them, so they should date the dude! He's decided that he is the right guy for this person, so it must be true. The other person is just a bitch.

Dean loves Rory and is ready to say it, therefore Rory must love Dean and be ready too. He's reached this point so, goddammit, she needs to be at this point too. After all Dean decides how emotions work.

Dean is a teenager (and did something dumb out of emotion) so I can sort of forgive him for not fully empathizing and acting out of hurt feelings. It is the fact that Lorelei keeps sticking up for the dude who was trying to emotionally manipulate her daughter that gets to me. That was part of the “rage trilogy” from last season that made me annoyed at Lorelei because she was all “See it from his side” which is totally valid except for the fact that his side was to act like a brat who didn't get the ice cream he wanted *right then*.

Uge!

Okay on to somewhat happier things. Lorelei's date. That was cute and funny, how she was all proud of being a casual dater and I even liked a lot of jokes Luke made about how old the guy was. It was also really cute how Sookie tried to explain Luke to her. But Luke was being snarkier than necessary. I mean Lorelei is firmly set on her course of sailing that river in Egypt, so she's not going to ask him out right now. I get him being jealous, but he could, you know *ask her out*. I get why he doesn't, I mean what if she says no? But if what Sookie said is supposed to be true, that he's upset because it seems like Lorelei would date anyone but him, how can he be pissed at her when he's never asked? I guess that's why Luke limits it to taking pot shots and then being grouchy(ier) because he realizes he's sulking? Oddly I don't mind this sort of stuff when it involves Luke and Lorelei but when the same stupid jealousy stuff comes up with Rory and Dean, it bugs me. Maybe because as pouty as Luke gets he doesn't act like he owns Lorelei? Don't know really. Luke is likable, Dean is not. Might be as simple as that.

A forgettable episode followed by a pretty good one. Episode 8 didn't have Jess and despite revolving around Rory's love life Dean was less irritating than Tristian. Nothing has pissed me off horribly yet. So far, so good.

#gilmore girls #rambles

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lexxikitty-blog1 · 6 years

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Kiss the Girl by Melissa Brayden Series: Soho Loft: #1 Read: February 2016 Rating: 4.75 Stars

There are something like a million and one (or 14 to 78) brilliant reviews on GoodReads. I'm not going to be adding much new to the discussion at this point.

This book is the first book I've read by this author. I was 'pushed' into reading this book because of a group I am in that is currently running a 'pick it' group challenge.

I had been putting off this book because everyone and their pet donkey just absolutely loves this book. And I didn't want to go in, after everyone else, pick at it and go . . . you know what? I don't really like this here. Yes, I felt self conscious.

The book involves Brooklyn Campbell, Hunter something or other, Samantha, and Mallory who jointly run an advertising agency in New York City. They meet in college and they are roughly around the age of 28 (though I believe the prologue indicated some were older than Brooklyn). Brooklyn is the main point of view for this set of friends. Brooklyn was put up for adoption when she was a baby and went in and out of various foster homes until, at some point, she ended her 'tour' in a group home and aged out of the system at 18.

The second group of people this book involves is Jessica Lennox and . . . um, she's friends with her assistant Brent. And is friendly her teenage neighbor Ashton. Lennox is a hard charging head of an advertising agency that she started long ago. It is also located in New York City. Lennox is described as being a bitchy, ball busting, 'get my way or I'll cut you' type of person. Oh, and she might be married to a billionaire who helps her find business. Most of this is based on rumors and nothing but rumors. Lennox, though, likes how the rumors help her in business, so does nothing to 'set people right' and 'fix' her image. I'm using Lennox on purpose, instead of Jessica (or Jess). Because I'm mostly referring to her business persona. Jessica/Jess, though, is nothing like what others see her as being. Oh, and Jessica is really really old...er than Brooklyn. 10 years older. 38. Or, in other words, younger than me.

Before I move on - I rather like both Jessica and Brooklyn.

Okay then. Brooklyn is having a rotten day - pulled over and ticketed for speeding, her car is towed, her heel on her favorite shoes break, and, to top it off, her birth mother has offered contact information through an organization that does stuff like that (Brooklyn had signed up with them when she was 18, i.e., 10 years ago). Gazing around in despair, she contemplates what to do with herself. Spots a neat looking place across the street from a print shop (there's a reason why she is there; oh - and the print shop line was super long - to add to her woes).

Brooklyn enters this lovely looking place. Walks right up to the bar and . . . realizes her purse is in her car (which just got towed away, remember). She kind of whimpers.

Jessica has had a tough day. She decides to do two things she rarely ever does - step out earlish from work, and go home. No the go home isn't the second thing. The second thing is to step into this neat little bar that is near her home. As she sits there looking around kind of happy she decided to step in, she spots a rather attractive woman step in. And overhears her exchange with the bartender (um, I forgot to mention that, Brooklyn's 'realization' about her purse took place out loud). Jessica offers to pay for Brooklyn's drink.

Brooklyn is reluctant but eventually agrees. Jessica introduces herself as Jessica . . . Jess. But without a last name, and makes a game of not saying what her job is (well, one of them do, I forget which one started the game of Brooklyn guessing Jess' job). Both have a fabulous time. It ends with Jessica acquiring Brooklyn's number, and giving a brief kiss. Which expands into a really passionate kiss. The kind that makes your toes curl and your hair stand up straight (or whatever it is that happens). They part.

Jessica and Brooklyn meet again, as someone who read the beginning of this review might suspect, when both turn up for an advertising job. Jessica Lennox is quite well known to Brooklyn's ad agency, but Brooklyn doesn't normally go on calls (and therefore doesn't know what Jessica Lennox, professional ball crusher, looks like). Plus, Jess never gave her last name. Jessica leaves a conference room. Brooklyn spots her. They gaze at each other. Brooklyn is now flustered and somewhat messes up her first ever attempt to talk to clients in a client meeting.

Jess texts Brooklyn. They kind of flirt by text.

The 'Cinderalla kiss' is mentioned by Brooklyn to her coworkers (well, it was mentioned, I forget the sequence now). The idea of having any kind of relationship, friend/romantic or otherwise, with someone like Jessica Lennox is roundly booed by everyone of Brooklyn's friends. Brooklyn kind of agrees with them.

Time passes. The Foster account is fought over by both Brooklyn and Lennox's ad agencies.

Eventually Brooklyn uses that contact number she got for her birth mother. Eventually her relationship with Jess advances . . . somewhat. Meanwhile Ashton, the teenage next door neighbor of Jessica's, is having a rotten time with her alcoholic mother - Jessica tries to help.

There's a really intense scene in a stuck elevator between Jessica and Brooklyn (which occurred, I believe, actually before Brooklyn attempts to contact her mother; it's not related, I'm just fixing the chronology I messed up in my review).

At some point, while reading this book, I was seriously contemplating making a brand new shelf. I would call this shelf something like '6 star books'. Then put this book on said shelf. Because this was, in fact, a really really good book. Until it wasn't.

The 'it wasn't' part occurred when a specific incident occurred. And I could immediately foretell what would then happen next. And everything unfolded almost exactly as I thought it would. About 99.9% exactly like I thought it would. To be fair, everything that happened? Did not seem like a contrived little thing to add to the book to add tension/drama/and conflict. It did, in fact, seem like a natural extension of the book (which is also why I knew immediately what would happen after the fact, and was 99% correct - because everything flowed naturally). Well damn. I was going to pinpoint the 'incident' at the beginning. Ah well. It was when Brooklyn visited Jessica. At her office. A bag may or may not be involved. I'm trying to be vague for those who haven't read the book, while giving enough for those who have to know what I'm referring to. *inserts spoiler tags* <spoiler> (for fuck sake, you have a 'break the tension' group meeting with your friends; it is mentioned that 'business stuff' need to remain secret and . . . . you immediately visit your love interest at their office? Okay, livable but . . . for no fucking reason I can think of, you give your fucking . . . right *tags inserted* You leave your bag outside. With an advertising executive. For a rival agency. You are currently in competition with. And you know she isn't the fucking receptionist. And . . AND . . Jessica's fucking assistant is right there as a potential other person to give the bag too (don't); if you going to do this completely weird ass fucking thing - like bring your fucking back with you into Jessica's place of work (instead of say, leaving it locked tightly and hidden in car), don't fucking leave it outside; why? Why the fuck did she do that? No, I'm serious. Do people do that? Do they leave their fucking bags with rivals (remember, she fucking knows that's not the receptionist? Yes? Well fuck me. Learn something new every day. She's visiting a fucking head of a company; what, did she think Jessica worked in a broom closet and therefore there wouldn't be any room for her bag and coat? No? Maybe it's some kind of 'oops, I brought my bag with me, I trust this non-receptionist rival advertising person with my bag instead of having it near me while I'm in the room with Jessica' thought process. Why the fuck does she even fucking have her fucking bag up in the receptionist area? SHE FUCKING DRIVES EVERYWHERE.) Okay, I've moved from 'this is a natural progression' to 'what the fuck did I just read?'</spoiler>

The book was filled with a ton of tension/drama/etc. based on intergroup dynamics involving the Campbell friend group and their reaction to Brooklyn-Jessica link up; the ad agency competition; the drama over the birth family; and, most specifically of importance for a romance - relationship tension (both because of that issue of Brooklyn's friends not liking Jessica; being rivals; Brooklyn having commitment and trust issues; having to take things slow; etc.). So, tacking on an extra layer, even if a natural development for the book, seemed like a layer too many.

Oh, and, you know (those who have read my reviews before), how I recently made a comment on another book recently read about how it contained that cliche of 'I'm a powerful woman. I'm giving up control and submitting to another woman. I think I like it'? That cliche, once again, turned up in this book. And yes, it once again pulled me from the story. Though I just kind of laughed and dove back in. See, this was when I still thought of this as a six star book, and that specific scene neither increased nor decreased the overall score given to this book. (Though, I also admit (did I admit anything previously, dang it, I don't want ot reread my own review), Brayden handled that scene brilliantly).

So, for these and other reasons, I cannot break open a brand new 6 star shelf and shove this book onto it. Nor, in good conscious can I add this to my super duper and special 5.5 star shelf. I have currently placed it on no specific star shelf. Though I've currently rated it 4 stars. I am contemplating which shelf to add this book to. 3.5? Probably not. 4? Maybe. 4.5? Perhaps. And, surprising, I know, I still have a strong desire to put this on my five star shelf

Review Written: February 3 2016

#Soho Loft #First in Series #Lesbian Fiction #Lesbian Romance #Romance #Contemporary Romance #Book Review #Lesbian Book Review #2016 Reads #4.75 Stars #Bold Strokes Books

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