#garvez fanfiction | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dungeons-are-too-cold · 2 years

Text

Penelope's Birthday: The (Very Early) Morning

Summary: Summary: Garcia is VERY excited to celebrate her first birthday with her boyfriend Luke Alvez, and he’s struggling to keep up.

Warnings: mentions of food

Author's note: Hey!!! This is the first part of a three part garvez series that i have literally been writing for so long. It started as something i was writing for @ofwilliamandwalter 's birthday writing challenge, but then i started my school semester and life kinda got in the way, but its finally getting on its feet!!! So part one is dedicated to Emmy as the most belated happy birthday ever lol.

Read on AO3 here!

"CELEBRATE ME! TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!" Penelope practically screamed.

"It's four in the morning."

"Yeah! I was born at four in the morning!" She prodded her sleepy boyfriend, Luke, until he finally stirred and sat up.

“Well then happy birthday, chica,” he whispered into her forehead as he placed a gentle kiss along her hair line. At his attempt to snuggle back into her she just sat there expectantly, like she was waiting for something to happen.

“Do you wanna get up now and have coffee? Or do you want to go back to sleep?”

“Oh, my sweet boy, how can I sleep on a day like this?”

“Fair enough, I’ll put the pot on.” Luke dragged himself out of bed and slipped on the closest pajama pants he could get his hands on. Penelope excitedly wiggled as Luke plodded off to the kitchen. “Why don’t you get in the shower, Pen,” he called back. “I need some time, but I’ll be ready by the time you get out, okay?” She agreed and sped off to the shower. “And take your time!” he called after her.

The second she disappeared behind the bathroom door, Luke sprinted to his car out front. He hadn’t planned for Penelope to wake up this early, so he was slightly behind schedule with his birthday plans and desperate to get it all done before she got out. Personally, he wasn’t much of a birthday guy. Luke never really celebrated his birthday, especially as an adult, but he knew that it was an important day for Penelope, so he was willing to try. This was their first birthday as a couple, and he wanted to make his girl feel special.

When he reached his car, bolting down three flights of stairs to get there, a helium tank, several packages of balloons, and a large canvas banner greeted him in the trunk. Being the macho man that he was, Luke attempted to gather and carry everything all at the same time back to his apartment. He didn’t want to waste any time.

The rest of the morning was spent blowing up sparkly balloons and hanging streamers. In between all the decorating, he was cutting strawberries, flipping pancakes, and gathering all the toppings for breakfast. He even broke a sweat desperately trying to tie the balloons to Penelope’s breakfast chair.

When she finally walked into the living room, wrapped in her robe, Luke was perched delicately on a step ladder tacking up the banner. Everything was slightly a mess. Some stray balloons had floated up to the ceiling, and a roll of streamers had rolled all the way across the room, unraveling as it went, but a large spread of pancakes with strawberries, whipped cream, and chocolate syrup was laid out perfectly on the table.

“There was supposed to be more, but I didn’t expect you up this early.” He nearly took a spill off the stool when he turned to look at her entering the space. Quickly he finished hanging the sign and stepped down to place a gentle kiss on his girlfriend’s forehead.

“So, what do you think?” he said, gesturing to the decorations he had haphazardly thrown up in the last half hour. The sign was crooked on the wall, and the letters were messy where the paint hadn’t quite dried before he shoved it in his car yesterday, but he beamed up at his work, hoping she would love it. Penelope’s eyes were trained on the breakfast table, though.

“I think I need you to feed me one of those strawberries dipped in that chocolate syrup.” Luke felt slightly defeated. Despite the appearance, he had worked really hard on the sign and balloons. Her sweet tooth always won out against anything else.

“Well then, sit down in your special birthday chair and I’ll get to it.” He pulled out the chair with the balloons, accidentally dislodging a few of them. “The stupid ribbon won’t stay tied,” he said dejectedly. At the last minute he had decided to staple them to the back of the chair, but it was less than successful. She didn’t seem to mind though. She quickly took her seat and squealed with excitement.

“I can’t believe I get my own special birthday chair! I love it, Lukey,” she said just before he swiped a strawberry in chocolate and placed it on her lips. A grateful moan escaped as she took a bite. “This is perfect. I can’t wait to see what else you have planned.”

To be honest, it wasn’t much. Luke had wanted to plan a surprise party for Penelope at her favorite bar, considering how much she loved her birthday. However, when he talked to Emily for help, she informed him that Penelope had already asked about planning her own surprise party. Of course Penelope was planning her own party; that was so her. There was no way she would leave something as important as her birthday party up to chance. Still, Luke was doing his best to help, but the main task he was given by Emily was to keep Penny away from the office and from the bar.

It shouldn’t have been as difficult a task as it was turning out to be. Hoping she would be asleep for much longer than she was, all he had planned was late breakfast and dinner, in-between which he wanted to take her to see the butterfly pavilion at the Smithsonian and spend some time in the pollinator garden. She loved all the flowers this time of year, and despite living in DC for years, she had never been to the Smithsonian. However, when he was thinking about a late breakfast, he was thinking closer to noon. It was very much not noon.

As the two of them finished up breakfast around 6am, he shooed Penelope off so he could clean up. Again, the second she was gone, Luke went into a panic. Needing some help, he called the only person he knew would be up.

“Matt!” he whispered into the phone

“Who is this?” Matt responded groggily. Clearly, he had not been awake before the phone call.

“Matt, it’s Luke.”

“Why are you calling me? It’s 6am dude.”

“I figured you were already up. Don’t your kids have soccer Saturday mornings?”

“They don’t this weekend, their coach got sick. I was happily asleep until you called. What’s so urgent?”

“Penelope is up. Like not just awake but like up-up. She wants to know what I have planned, and honestly? I don’t have enough plans to fill a whole day!” Luke was pacing around the kitchen, phone sandwiched in between his ear and his shoulder as he frantically cleaned up the mess. He could hear Matt shift and Kristy wake up in the background.

“Who are you talking to?”

“It’s Luke, Penelope is already up.”

“Shit that’s bad” Luke heard Kristy shift in the blankets as well.

Both of them were in on the surprise party later. Matt had even helped Luke make his plans for the day considering how many birthdays he had spent with his wife at that point. Hearing two seasoned birthday pros say that this was bad definitely put Luke on edge. What was he going to do?

“Babe, close your ears because I’m about to give Luke my all-time best kept significant other secret and I want to make sure it will still work on you later.” Matt said.

“Totally not ruining the magic, Matt. I’m going to put on coffee” she said. Luke could hear her close the door through the phone and Matt resumed his birthday coaching.

“Okay. This has consistently worked on Kristy, so I think Penelope won’t be the wiser. Basically, all you have to do is have Penelope guess what your plans are, and as soon as she says something she seems excited enough about that’s doable, you just tell her yes! She’ll be excited that she guessed it, and you already know it’s something she was thinking about, and you didn’t even have to plan anything yourself. You can adjust everything as needed but I’m telling you, it works every time.”

“You are a lifesaver! Penelope is coming back out, gotta go but thank you again!”

Luke practically slammed his phone down on the table as he started the dishes. It seemed simple enough. He could do the gardens and butterfly pavilion first before lunch, and then see where the day takes them. Shit, now he had to think about lunch too. He didn’t even know how to dress anymore, suddenly realizing he was still in his pajamas. What do you wear to whatever Penelope had in mind? It was going to be a long day.

Penelope emerged from the bathroom and snaked her arms around Luke’s waist as he dried the pans. Her hair was up, and her makeup done, but she was still in just her underwear and robe. Her hands grazed up and down his skin as she laid her head on his back.

“You doing okay back there?” he joked.

“Yeah, just happy to wake up with you. And on my birthday no less.”

As much as he loved when Penelope was this sweet, he knew it was because she had high expectations for what was to come, and he was terrified of disappointing her.

AHHHHH Okay I am so happy to get this out finally. Please let me know what you think so far!!!!! make your guesses about what you think is gonna happen too!!!!! I'd love to heare your thoughts.

Thank you to @snailsandpuppy-dogtails and @darcyfangirlsfrequently for reading for me before I posted!!!

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated!!!

46 notes · View notes

darcyfangirlsfrequently · 1 month

Text

WIP Wednesday

from the penultimate chapter of I Met You At the End of the World

tagging @lklvz, @itoldthestarsaboutyou, and @only-one-brain-cell because you'll all love this, and @mrs-alvez-2024 because it's IMYATEOTW and i am getting the feeling it's her favorite story of mine

Luke kissed his still half-asleep girlfriend on the head as he left that morning. “Bye, Baby, I’m heading out.”

“Where’re you going?” Penelope mumbled sleepily.

“It’s Wednesday, I’m driving Spence in, remember?”

“Right, your bro time. Have fun. See you at work. I love you.”

“I love you too,” he replied with a chuckle. Reid had really needed a friend since the re-emergence of Cat Adams a few months before, and since Luke had been there on the date from hell supervising, he offered to grab coffee with him at least once a week and drive him in. The two had always been friends, but they’d gotten much closer as of late. In recent weeks, their conversations had shifted further away from Cat, and more towards Spencer’s thriving relationship with Max. Luke was the only one the young genius was really confiding in about his new relationship, and Luke was both honored and insanely happy for his friend. He’d had enough hardships. He needed something truly good in his life, and Max seemed to be exactly that.

***

Luke turned to Reid and smiled as they entered the bullpen. “Hard to believe we’re the first ones here this morning.”

“Yeah, it’s ’cause you’re not,” Penelope said, emerging from a side entrance, a mug of tea already in her hands.

“Is there a case?” Reid asked her.

She looked around the room, seeming pleased. “Thankfully, no. All is quiet on the serial killer front.”

Luke let out an exaggertated happy sigh, but then turned to Penelope. “Wait a second, how did you beatus here? When I left this morning you were still in bed.”

She scoffed affectionately. “Please, did you really think I’d let you win?”

“I didn’t realize it was a race.”

“When we don’t come in together, it always is.”

“Noted.”

“I say this with so much love,” Reid cut in, “but you two are disgusting.”

Luke turned to him with raised brows. “That is rich coming from someone who waxed poetics about Max for an hour this morning.”

Reid flushed bright red, but Penelope’s face lit up, and she bounced a bit, clapping with glee. “How is the lovely Max?”

“She’s good,” Reid replied, cheeks still tinged pink.

Penelope’s bright red lips dropped to a pout. “That’s it? That’s all I get? She’s good?” She turned to Luke. “You are telling me everything later.”

“Oh no I am not.”

Her mouth opened in shock. “What?”

“He asked us to keep our conversations confidential, and I promised I would, so I’m going to,” Luke explained.

Penelope looked him up and down appreciatively. “Ooh, a man of his word. Hot.”

“I stand by the fact that you two are disgusting.”

#garvez #garvez fanfiction #luke alvez #penelope garcia #spencer reid #max brenner #maxcer #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #wip wednesday

13 notes · View notes

parisian-nicole · 1 year

Text

A new GarVez manip I just made. GarVez Tarrot Card 'The Lovers'

#garvez #garvezfan #garvez fic #garvez fanfiction #garcia x luke #garcia x alvez #alvez x garcia #penelope x luke #luke x penelope #luke alvez #penelope garcia #criminal minds #criminal minds evolution #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds reboot

105 notes · View notes

missmitchieg · 1 year

Text

You Can't Do That

Now on ao3.

"I'm fine, Emily."

"Luke, you died in the back of the ambulance." Emily huffed as she stood in Luke's ugly, sterile, gray and white hospital room with crossed arms and a disapproving scowl on her face. The man had thrown himself in between Emily and a bullet meant for her, getting hit in the right hip. "You could've stayed that way."

"Better me than you or someone else. I can be replaced if I die and no one would miss me. You're different." Luke insisted, his voice rough and his eyes determined. Emily shouldn't have had a bullet coming her way in the first place, so Luke jumped in to save her and that was that.

For him, anyway.

Emily stared at Luke in shocked silence as she processed the words he had spoken so casually, like he really believed what he was saying.

Oh, this just wouldn't do.

Emily stepped out of Luke's hospital room toward the waiting room, stopping in front of the one person who would be able to help Luke see the error of his thoughts.

"Penelope." She grabbed the sweet blonde's hand and dragged her toward Luke's room, Penelope having to run to keep up with Emily's long and fast strides. "Luke."

Penelope frowned as she got a better look at Emily's face, noticing the angry tears in her eyes. She tore her gaze away to give Luke a worried glance, her breaths speeding up.

"Tell Penelope what you just said." Emily demanded with a finger pointing to Penelope, her tone leaving no room for argument as Penelope just stared between the two in alarm and confusion.

Luke stared at Penelope with a deer-in-headlights look, his jaw dropped as he struggled to form words.

"Newbie?" Penelope started. "What's going on?" She asked, her brown eyes wide with concern for one of her best friends and a man she hadn't known long, but a man she was begrudgingly falling for.

"Tell her. What you told me." Emily repeated, her fists clenched as mascara-stained tears streamed down her face.

Luke tried to fake a smile and shook his head. "I-It's not a big deal, PG. Emily's just overreacting." He lied.

"Not a big deal?!" Emily almost shouted, shaking her head.

Penelope squinted slightly, stepping toward Luke's bed. "Luke, what did you say to her?" She asked, her voice dangerously low. "Don't do this to me right now. You can't do this to me right now. Not after you..." She choked on her words, unable to say that word. "Not after what happened in the back of that ambulance. What did you say?"

"I-I, umm..." Luke bit his lip, averting his gaze guiltily. "I said that it would be ok if I died because I'm replaceable and no one would miss me much."

And suddenly, Penelope felt like a bucket of ice had been dumped on her head.

"What." She forced out, her chest heaving as she glared at him. She shook her head, stomping toward him as Emily stood back silently, watching whatever was about to happen unfold in front of her. "Luke. Luke, no."

Luke gaped at her, shock written all over his face as Penelope stood in front of him, near enraged tears of mascara and peachy-pink blush running down her cheeks.

"Do you know how much everyone in that damn waiting room cares about you?" Penelope snapped, baring her pearly white teeth. "Because they all love you."

Luke ducked his head in guilt once again, clasping his hands in his lap. No, he didn't know how much they cared.

"Everyone on the team fucking adores you." Penelope huffed under her breath, pointing a finger toward the hallway leading to the waiting room where their team was sat waiting to talk to him.

Luke winced, grimacing at his friend who he was quite certain was the actual love of his life. Penelope never cursed, so he knew right now that she meant business and that he fucked up big time.

"Matt has so much fun playing basketball with you on days off. Spencer told me he likes infodumping to you because you never make him feel bad about not being able to stop himself babbling about whatever he researched at three in the morning when he was supposed to be sleeping but his insomnia kicked in again."

Luke felt a small fond smile grow on his face at the mention of the BAU's Baby Genius and shook his head, running a hand through his hair.

"JJ thinks it's the coolest thing that you know Sign and wants you to teach her. Tara told me a week ago she thinks of you like a dorky little brother who she pretends annoys her, but she loves you and your cleverness. Just yesterday, JJ told me she spent ten minutes listening to Henry and Michael talk about how cool and funny and smart you are." She listed off, pointing a shaky thumb toward Emily, daggers in her eyes daring him to cut her off. "Emily here won't stop telling our boss how valuable you are to this team."

"It's true." Emily said firmly. "You are."

Penelope raised her eyebrows and gestured toward Emily with a "You see?" expression on her face.

Luke shrunk back, his shoulders slumped as he listened to his friend rant about how much the team loved him and wanted him around. He hadn't realized he made that much of an impact on any of them in such a short time.

"And Hotch? Ok, Hotch said that you joining the team was one of the best things that could've ever happened to us. Not in so many words, but that's essentially what he said."

Silently, Luke nodded as he processed the new information, biting his lip when he saw that Penelope was crying.

Oh, shit.

"Luke Alvez, you can't die." The sob ripped its way through Penelope's throat as she begged Luke to understand. "You can't do that to us." She whimpered, covering her mouth with her hands. "You can't do that to me." It came out in a whisper, so quiet he almost didn't hear it.

Almost.

Luke whined at that, tears leaking from his own honey brown eyes as he shook his head, reaching a hand out to comfort her. "Pen-"

"If you leave us, who's gonna be there to tease me about being the best available technical analyst, or call me Chica to make me all flustered, or come over with Roxy when I'm upset about how a case went wrong or make bad jokes to make me smile when an unsub does something particularly heinous?"

Emily's gaze softened as she stood still as a statue, biting her lip.

Penelope sniffled, leaning into the large and callused but gentle hand cupping her cheek. "I don't wanna have to do this without you." She admitted, laughing humorlessly at herself. "I can, but I don't want to."

"Penelope-" Luke started but Penelope held up her free hand to cut him off.

"Luke, I never wanted to admit this to myself," she started, embarrassment coming over her. "much less to anyone else, especially you." She scoffed, rolling her eyes at herself.

Luke tilted his head, his eyes curious. "What, Pen?"

"I'm falling in love with you, Newbie." Penelope finally revealed, her gaze softening.

Luke gasped softly, stroking his thumb against her cheek gently.

"I've tried to stop myself, but I can't help it. I love you, Luke." She whispered, a small smile on her face.

"Penelope," Luke breathed out, his eyes sparkling. "I love you, too."

Emily smiled as she slipped out of the room to give the couple privacy, wiping away her tears.

"Next time one of us has a gun pointed at us, just-" She gave him the tiniest of smirks, her own hand grabbing Luke's. "push us out of the way, but you can't get shot again."

Luke chuckled at that and nodded ever so slightly, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "I can do that, Penelope."

Penelope's smile widened at the kiss, a giggle falling from her pink lips. "You missed my lips, Honey."

Luke chuckled at that, leaning in. "My bad, Chica." He smiled as he kissed Penelope, his other hand reaching up to tangle in her perfectly done curls.

A happy sigh left Penelope's lips as her mouth glided against Luke's, her free hand finding its way to his broad shoulder.

Luke slowly pulled away, his face flushing as he heard excited whoops from Tara, JJ and Matt.

"Oh, my God. I thought these two would never get it together." Spencer laughed in delight, his hands curled into fists as he lightly flapped. "I am so happy for you guys!"

"Finally, my guy!" Tara grinned, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Get your man, Garcia!" Matt fist bumped Penelope with a little laugh from her.

"Em's got Morgan on the phone, so expect a call in a sec!" JJ warned Penelope.

"I'm going to need you two to fill out HR paperwork." Hotch said sternly.

"Yes, Sir!" Luke and Penelope nodded, their hands folded together on Luke's lap. She startled as she heard her phone buzz in her purse and sure enough, it was a call from her sweet Hot Chocolate. She smiled as she answered, leaning her head on Luke's shoulder. "Hey, Hot Stuff." She greeted, biting her lip.

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #emily prentiss #penelope garcia #luke alvez #matthew simmons #spencer reid #tara lewis #jennifer jareau #aaron hotchner #garvez #garvez fanfiction

34 notes · View notes

daydreamgoddess14 · 10 months

Text

200 Followers Celebration! 🎉

Woohoooo!! I'm coming up on 200 followers?! How did that happen?! I feel like we should celebrate! 🎉

Take your pick of the following pairings 💜:

Tedbecca (Ted Lasso)

Roy Kent x Reader insert (Ted Lasso)

Sam Obisanya x Reader insert (Ted Lasso)

Isaac McAdoo x Reader insert (Ted Lasso)

Any of those himbos really?!

Garvez (Criminal Minds)

Josh x Donna (The West Wing)

And pick a prompt or two below:

“You’ve got me on your side.”

“I don’t like you…. I love you.”

“I don’t want you… I need you.”

“What are you doing here?”

“It’s okay to cry.”

“I can tell you’re lying.”

“You deserve better.”

“You’ve changed.”

“I think I’m in trouble.”

“You always find a way to surprise me.”

“You did what you had to do.”

“You have no idea.”

“Why am I not surprised?”

“This is just great.”

“You’re here late.”

“What’s on your mind?”

“I wanted to apologize.”

“It’s just you and me.”

“I’m just looking out for you.”

“I never meant to fall in love with you, I just did.”

“Calm down.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Oh come on.”

“No one is perfect.”

“You’ve been quiet.”

“What did you just say?”

“I’ll always be there for you.”

“When you fall, I’ll always be right there to catch you.”

“I won’t let anything bad happen to you."

“I hope you’re happy.”

And drop me a message with what you fancy 🥰

This is my first time doing this ... eeek! I'll keep this post open for a week - closing on the 12th, and fics/drabbles will start to be posted shortly thereafter.

Have at it!

💜

25 notes · View notes

okimargarvez · 1 year

Text

THE GOOD AND THE RIGHT

Original title: The good and the right

Prompt: what if after 16x6.

Warning: spoiler for 16x6.

Genre: romantic, angst.

Characters: Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez, JJ, Tyler Green (mentioned).

Pairing: Garvez.

Note: oneshot 85 in Garvez collection.

Legend: 💏😘. Song mentioned: Addio mio amore, Tiziano Ferro.

GARVEZ STORIES

Note: this is dedicated to @thinitta. I know that my opinion about Tyler is unpopular, right now, but I don't hate him. He can't be the reason to not get garvez. Our ship is stronger than that. I want to inform you on this, because it reflects on the story, obviously. But don't worry, Tyler is just a name, here.

THE GOOD AND THE RIGHT

I wish someone would explain to me why good intentions can so easily result in complete disasters. I messed all up, but for real, this time. I only realized it when I got back to my apartment and found Tyler waiting for me... Inside my bed. He was awake, he was smiling. I managed to avoid his kiss I don't even know how. I told him I was tired, one of the most banal excuses ever, but in reality, it was partially the truth, because in one day I experienced too many emotions. The fear for JJ and Luke, being emotional support for Tyler, looking after both him and the case…

It was nice to feel understood, deeply understood, but it doesn't justify what happened. I just... I didn't think at the time, it just seemed like the right thing to do to keep him on the straight and narrow. Probably losing myself, meanwhile.

Too bad that something even more terrible happened right during the kiss. Well, it depends on your point of view. I thought it could be Luke. And it's not completely absurd, because he tried to do the same, three years ago, during our first and only date. But I ran away, like I did with Tyler the first time. And I told Luke that I understood that it would be better to stay friends, because I didn't feel ready for a relationship, I was going through too many changes and... That's it. That time too it was half a lie, half a truth. Luke made an effort to sound sympathetic and less pained than he actually was. But I saw it through his eyes. Still, it didn't change my mind.

Luke... I felt his gaze on me throughout the discussion. He's not stupid, he sensed something, surely that the noise was neither feline nor Bigfoot. When I left I avoided him like a plague victim. But he had made a joke, asking me if Sergio was still hungry and I couldn't lie to him again.

Now I'm in my former office. I managed to dodge the others, arriving very early. Especially him... Because I know his schedule perfectly and how I wish it weren't like that. Now he must be taking a shower, after his usual morning run, alone. Roxy is getting old, and he struggles every day with the fear of losing her. I feel an excruciating pain in my chest, so I force myself to think of something else, but there's no way, my mind always goes there.

Oh Luke, if only I were less of a coward... You deserve better, a more normal, more stable person who can make you feel at ease, if not happy. Someone that may it not add anxieties to the ones you already fight against on a daily basis.

At least it helped me to understand that I will never get over it. Whatever may happen. I will never stop being in love with Luke Alvez, but I will never be able to love him. Because falling in love and love are not the same thing at all. The first one just happens, there's nothing you can do about it, your head in the clouds, you're acting like an idiot. While for the second you have to work hard, put a lot of effort into it. And you have to see each other as real people, jumbles of flaws and not as gods come down to earth.

Someone knocks on my door. I pray it's not him. It can't be him. It's too soon for anyone. And Tyler? But no, I forbid him to be seen. But... I sigh and turn towards the door. -Come in.- I shout, but my voice trembles. I hope whoever is walking in now doesn't notice, but considering it's probably a profiler… I swivel my chair back to the opposite position, my back to the newcomer.

-Hey, Garcia.- my lungs relax for a moment, recognizing the voice, but then I realize I'm actually not out of danger at all. She knows so much…though nothing about my date with Luke. We have mutually agreed (more or less) to not inform the team. It would only lead to heavy doses of embarrassment. She grabs a chair and sets it next to mine. Ouch, it doesn't bode well.

I just take a look at her. -How can I help you, my young friend?- I pretend an enthusiasm that I don't feel at all and naturally she realizes it.

She giggles. -Not so young.- she touches her head and grimaces. -I don't know how long it will take me to fully recover.- I nod. It's so easy to forget what happened just two days ago. In a normal situation they should both stay at home, to rest, to recover. They deserve it. Luke could be spending time with Roxy and…damn it! JJ seems to read both in my eyes and in the pause that weighs between us. -Are you okay?- she takes my hand, looks at me like that and I know I'm screwed. But maybe that was what I wanted too. Let off steam. Free me. And, despite this, I would never have taken the initiative.

I take a breath, once, twice. -Not really.- I show off one of my pre-delusional smiles. She settles better, sensing what is about to happen. -Where do I start?- I ask perhaps more to myself. -Here, at my farewell party, three years ago... you know that I danced almost the whole evening with... Luke?- I swallow to force myself to pronounce that name, which now takes on precise nuances. She nods, but her pupils are already shining. -Before... before our talks he took me aside for a moment and he... asked me out.- she opens her eyes and mouth wide and barely refrains from replying, perhaps fearing that if she interrupted me I would no longer be able to continue and I would have seized the chance. -Well, we went out together…- it's the coup de grace.

-What?!- she squeezes my hands tightly and hugs me. I just hope she doesn't expect I'm about to tell her things like I'm pregnant or that we were been secretely together for past three years. -And you didn't say anything to anyone! To me!- she sounds offended, but in a joking way. -I want all the details, we have to do a girls' night and…- but then she notices my expression, not at all joyful. -Don't tell me you're only telling me now because you two broke up.- I shake my head.

-No. Because we've never been together.- JJ's glance is enough to realize how much she had hoped for us, and not just to laugh at our mutual attitude, jokes and teasing each other. And the others, who knows what they think. She seems unable to conceive that it didn't work out between us.

-But… but…- she stammers. -Why?- she asks the only question that should make sense.

-I… I don't know, it was my fault. I was so happy when he asked me, but then, when I got home, after saying goodbye, I mean the next day… I had a panic attack, a strong, paralyzing one. You know I don't like changes, but it's not just that, it's that…- I shake her hand, looking for the strength I don't feel. -I'm scared, absolutely terrified, of Luke.- she struggles to believe even this statement and I don't know how to explain myself better. -I'm in love with him.- I admit, brutally. -And I'm afraid that if I let myself go completely... and then it goes wrong... I won't be able to get out of it alive, like with Kevin.- I conclude, at least in part, waiting for the reproaches.

-Penelope!- she exclaims, but above all I hear a sweet pain in her voice. -That man could never hurt you, he practically kisses the ground you walk on!- hearing it say from another person is an absurd experience, because it makes everything extremely real and not just vague fantasies based on too many looks . -Seriously, Luke has been in love with you since... well, from the beginning, I think and, I don't know what happened during your date, but... he didn't get over it. If possible, it's even worse. You notice how he looks at you, right? And now I understand why, since you've been back, his attitude seems like a constant courtship. He no longer has reasons to hide.- I nod, biting my lips.

-But this was only the prelude…-she takes the head in her hands, signaling me to continue. Luckily, we both arrived ahead of schedule.

And we walk, we walk, with the dull sun and the fire in my face and if I answered you now, with my threatening love, nothing would be left of you, perhaps two tears and then dust and then the most ruthless emptiness, which I have tolerated until now

I lost her. That song keeps telling me, I can't get rid of. And I don't even know where the hell I first heard it. Maybe I made it up, maybe it's a consequence of the head trauma from being blown up. Pain in ribs and arm weren't enough. But I would bear any suffering, if I could have her in my arms again, perhaps without JJ, however much I love her too. It would be better not to think about it, because it only adds pain to pain, but I cannot continue down this path.

I need to know if I've got it right or if I've just made a mind trip. Why didn't she want to say who she was with when she had that brilliant insight? Why was it about Tyler Green's sister and why hadn't she shared that information about her with us? Unless she had just acquired it… from a... personal source. But if it was just that, if she just talked to that guy again… no, something in her manner, in her eyes, told me there was so much more at stake. And considering the weird noise we heard, decidedly masculine…

I have to say it, at least mentally. She was almost certainly with Green. At her apartment. And then they walked out, ended up right where Alison worked, and Garcia's lightbulb went on. I'm forced to think of her by her last name, because her name makes me think of the woman I'm in love with and that I hoped so much she could reciprocate me even just 10%. I know it's wrong, that it wouldn't be a healthy love, but after 7 years I've lost hope that anything on my part can change.

In all this time I have had another relationship, but she has always remained there, free, available. I had expected this day to come, but I hadn't taken it seriously. As if the two of us had always belonged together, even as I shared my life with Lisa. Another wrong thing. I'll go to hell, but I already knew that.

In any case, I need to know. I want to feel bad. To suffer mortally and water Roxy's fur. I've never cried for a woman, not outwardly, but I know it will happen with her. The elevator doors open. I nod to those who remain on board, I leave my bag on the desk in a rush way and I head with a determined step towards her office. I saw Esther in the parking lot, so I know she's already here. At least she's not with him. Will he be at home with Sergio and the new arrival? Rossi let it slip, even if he later tried to pass it off as a joke.

Tyler Green gave… Garcia a real cat. Not a stupid stress reliever. As a peace offering. To make them collaborate. Damn me, when I supported her in her idea of restoring his memory. When I encouraged her to talk to him again. And I gave him the scepter of most hated by Garcia. Because I thought I could aim for another kind of trophy by now.

Given the way our date went, shouldn't I have resigned myself that nothing will happen between us? No, at all. Because every now and then, even if too rarely, she sends me signals that certainly don't go in the direction of being just friends. If there was a similar kind of relationship between us as she has with other members of the BAU, why show such annoyance at seeing me? Why always keep me aside, as a different discourse, like when she, hugging us, had to underline how happy she was to see our faces again, even mine? And her enthusiasm when I let her know that I didn't give a damn about her "replacements".

No, I can't lose hope, even if that song tries to change my mind.

Goodbye my love, we haven't seen each other... goodbye my love, which side do you see, that splinter in my soul, that arrow in my heart, that I try to tear out every day, while I distract the world with a smile

Here, one more step and here I am. I'm about to knock, not wanting to sneak in, feeling like I have no right, but then my ears pick up voices. There is already JJ. I should go back to my desk and wait before giving it another try, but my legs aren't cooperating. Especially when I hear that name come out of... Penelope's lips.

-…he was drunk, do you know when they called me? It was the police, they had stopped him for a fight, so I ran there and not knowing what to do, I took him to my house...- I almost sighed with relief. Nothing new, just the usual caring Garcia. -But then, in the evening, when he seemed to have recovered, he started telling me about his sister, about what he had felt and I told him about my parents, and... there was like a jolt, between us and him... - I don't I realize how hard I'm clenching my fists until drops of blood wet the floor. -…he tried to kiss me and I snapped like a spring.- I smile, pleased. Well done, my love, that's how it's done. -So I offered him to take a walk and who knew that Alison had worked right there? It wasn't on his file and he hadn't remembered it before. I saw the crossroads and had one of the Reid-esque visions.- they giggle. -So far, so good. I gave him my keys and called a taxi, to run and tell you. - here, I feel the blow coming. -He asked me if he could help and that's when I…- JJ whispers something, but I can't catch the precise words. -I kissed him.- the world shatters, everything falls apart. My legs give way, but holding on to the door, I manage not to fall. I really lost her. I no longer hear a single word of her delirium. It's over. There is another man in her heart. Fuck the convinction we belong to each other and all that bullshit. Fuck the sensation of being special. Fuck looks, hugs, hard-won kisses on the cheek. Fuck dancing and her enthusiasm when I asked her out. If she really wasn't interested in me as a man, why didn't she just tell me? To not make me feel bad? Uh, honey, that's a nice play.

Goodbye my love, but here we die, goodbye my love, goodbye... I didn't want you and I don't want myself, goodbye love, goodbye!

The song was right. Who ever wanted to fall in love! That's why I was fine with Lisa. There were never real stresses, real anxieties. There was no rush to go home, whether she was there or not. The thought of her, after the first date (interrupted by whom? But look if that coincidentally), no longer distracted me during a case. No heartbeat. I cared of her, but it was never love. I've never been in love with her. Also because my heart was already busy. Someone had booked the place for a later date. But I didn't want it, no! I didn't want to be like this, act like a fool, say shit just to get her attention… make up all kinds of excuses just to touch her. Nor have I ever allowed my imagination to go so far, before her.

But inside me, that non-dark part, has always been convinced that if it ever happened to me… everything would be fine. It wouldn't have been a one-sided feeling. That's how I found the courage to ask her out. And I didn't gain anything, not even a poor kiss. Maybe it's better this way, how could I have gone on living afterwards, without being able to savor those lips anymore? Well, that's poet bullshit too, and none of my ex-comrades would believe I could have thought such a thing.

I don't know how long it's been, but suddenly I'm losing strength and everything goes black. Cold, dark.

Instead, it's a strong sensation of warmth that brings me back to the world of the living. And a pleasant tickle. Yellow. I lift my eyelids slowly, I don't want to be blinded by the lights. But it's useless. My view is entirely taken up by Penelope's pale and worried face. Her blonde hair brushes my cheek. -Oh, thank God!- I think I can see tears behind her glasses. I don't have the strength to hope for it. -JJ, he's awake!- I catch her joy and I realize that the other blonde is also at my bedside. I'm on the floor, but my head is resting on the IT's bare knees. On the one hand I wish I could enjoy the moment better, on the other I'm tired to survive with few crumbs.

-Luke!- JJ looks concerned too. -Don't worry, I'm calling for help, it's definitely a consequence of the explosion...- I shake my head. Wrong move.

-No, no!- I whine. I don't recognize my voice. -I'm fine. I just had…- I look at Penelope, who tries to look away from me but in a moment her eyes are prey to mine. Just bullshit? Will the same thing happen to her with Tyler? No, I don't think so. I try to pull myself up. Realizing I'm too stubborn to change my mind, Penelope helps me. She places my arm around her shoulders and with JJ on the other side, they lift me up and lead me to a couch, the only real change since Garcia is no longer IT at the BAU. -Don't call anyone, I'm fine.- I repeat, with a slightly more convincing tone.

JJ sighs. She looks towards the friend. -Keep an eye on him and let me know if you can knock some sense into him!- having said that, she disappears and we are alone. The fact is that I didn't really recover. I have a foggy-headed, that song that torments me with the vision of Garcia that kisses Green. Then I realize that it was not a nightmare, she really said it. It really happened. Maybe I became transparent, because she reads it in my face.

She is sitting in the opposite end of the sofa. -You... you heard, right?- I don't nod, but the answer is in my eyes. -I'm sorry, I did a mess, it's such a wrong thing, I have overcome the demarcation line between work and private life, I didn't do it on purpose, it is...- I am not able to hold one of her ramblings. I stretch the arm and touch the first thing that is on my trajectory. Her knee.

She gasps. -Enough.- I exclaim, in a hoarse voice. Oh no, after passes out I will not whine in front of her. Still, I feel the lump in my throat climb along my body, stop it. -You can't choose who... you ... you fall in love with.- bitter banality. -If you are happy with Green... I am ...- I can't say it. -I would like to be happy for you, but I can't.- here, this is the truth. -Because you deserve the entire universe. I want you to be the happiest person in the world.- two too long sentences. I have to wait a moment to recover breath, she doesn't seem able to replicate anything. -I just wanted... I believed that you would be with me.- and with this I closed.

Penelope looks at me as if I had come out of mind. -Luke, I ... I'm not in love with Tyler!- she looks at me, waiting for a reaction. -You overheard just something.- she concludes.

-In I have not ... overheard.- I deny, trying to find a less vulnerable position, keeping sobs at bay, but I still don't know for how much. I have to leave this room and run home. I have all the good excuses to get a day free. -But if you are not in love with that guy... why did you kiss him?- I thought I finished, instead there is still a lot, too much, that we need to dissect, among us.

She opens her inviting mouth, too often the protagonist of my dreams. -It was a mistake. I wanted to make him feel better, I let myself be taken from the atmosphere...- she makes it too easy. However, I certainly don't expect her next move. -And why you stayed almost three years with Lisa?- the tone is accusing and it's not just my impression.

I approach her on the sofa, consciously or not. -Yeah, because she made me feel good.- Penelope nods.

-She is a good person.- I can't understand how we ended up talking about her.

-Yeah, she does.- I shrug. Another big mistake. A grimace. Tears are about to appear. But she must have approached during the conversation, because few inches separate our bodies.

She has a weird gaze, which scares me. -Exactly. And Tyler Green is also a good guy. You talked to him too. He suffered a great trauma and will have to work a lot to overcome the sense of guilt ...- is she talking about him or herself? -and he has made a lot of wrong choices, but remains a good person.- I just stares at her. -Maybe, in another context, in another life... who knows, it could really work, between us.- this is too much. I will not stay in her former office, in this shape, to hear her talk about her possible love story.

I try to get up and fall down, almost in her arms. -What are you smiling at?- she answers me with her eyes that I just don't have the right to make such a reproach, considering how much I love her smiles. Snort.

-Why didn't work between you and Lisa? And don't say Phil. I never believed it, that it was just for that.- why does she keep to put my ex in the middle? At least the nervous blocked the lump in my throat.

I stare at her. -Because no matter how good she was, she wasn't the right one.- she beats her hands, to underline the last word I pronounced. She leans to me, too much for my tormented heart.

As if she was about to kiss me, but I know it is not so. -Exactly.- she says, convinced. -For me is the same. I know that with Tyler there could be something, but also that it would be wrong, also because, however good he may be, he is not the right one.- silence filled only by the thousand machinery in the room. -And I am sure, because I have already found the right one, and he doesn't want to get out of my head.- I try to drive away the feeling of hope that she is talking about me. But it's too late. -Only that... after what I did ... will he forgive me?- she wouldn't look at me like this, if I wasn't personally involved. But I'm tired of this ambiguity. I need concreteness.

I brush her hand and she allows me. -Who could not do it, Penelope?- I whisper. Our eyes are tangled. Pain in the chest grows. The tears push to free themselves. Time stops and slowed down I see her face approaching. I do the same. Finally our lips merge and nothing else exists. Not even the fact that there is another man at her apartment, almost certainly, full of expectations and hopes.

When we separate Penelope rests her heads between my shoulder and chest, but immediately pulls away, probably fearing to hurt me. I force her to go back there. I caress her back as she vents. -Oh, Luke, please forgive me! I know I hurt you and I never wanted, never! I am so afraid, but no matter how big the fear is, there is no way, I can't stop loving you! Please, even if I don't deserve it, don't leave me!- she is not the only one to cry. The wave of her love overwhelms me, and it was never so beautiful to drown.

I take her face in my hands, with thumbs I dry a few savory drops, ignoring mine. Instead, she realizes my state, but I don't give a damn about not seem a macho. I know she doesn't care. -Shh, Pen, calm down.- I brush her lips in a very short kiss, as further reassurance. -It's okay, I have nothing to forgive you, we were not yet together... unfortunately.- I have chosen the wrong words, because it causes a new waterfall. -Hey, hey.- another little kiss. -Stop it, stop! I love you more than I have ever believed possible and I don't give a damn about the rest.- she seems to finally believe it. -Just... do you think you can promise me that you will not kiss every man or woman that you want to help?- it's half a joke, but she takes it seriously.

-I would never do it!- I nod. It is enough for me. -And you... could you do me a favor?- I wonder what she can ask me. -Can you go to the hospital and get checked out? I don't want to lose you just now that I found you.- I hold her hand so strong that I risk hurting her.

I sigh. -All right. But- peremptory voice -I want to be there when you talk to Tyler. If you don't feel to, I can stay in another room, but I don't let you go alone. I know he is a good guy, but...- she nods. She seems willing to grant me the universe. But I know it is only for today and that the bantering will return tomorrow.

Because that's how we work. Penelope checks her clothes, then cleanses my cheeks from the last tears; she leans over to give me an intense kiss, which worths as a real mutual promise. My hands are looking for hers, and viceversa, they find themselves, they intertwine. -Let's go.-

You were born from the pain that will be stop by time, and fears are about to be born, but we will survive and, love, love is awaiting you... because the eternal is not in a hurry!

#garvez #criminal minds #cm #penelope garcia #luke alvez #luke x penelope #penelope x luke #garcia x alvez #alvez x garcia #jennifer jareau #penelope garcia x luke alvez #luke alvez x penelope garcia #garvez fanfiction

14 notes · View notes