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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years

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VALERIE - Part X. (Harry Styles)

I can’t believe the time has come, this is the lats part of VALERIE! I won’t be long here, will leave a longer message at the end, but I just want to thank you all for reading an dliking this story, it means somuch to me, because I worked a lot on it! So thank you so much for giving it your love!

word count: ~7.5k

SERIES MASTERPOST

masterlist

The days and weeks blur into one dark mess around you as you’re just going through the motions, surviving day by day. The pain you first felt after everything that happened with Harry started to turn into a numbness in your chest until you just simply stopped feeling anything at all.

Following the encounter in the car he tried to call you several times, but you were quick to turn your phone off and delete all the messages he left. He kept on going for an entire week, trying to get you to talk to him, but you refused to even be in the same room as him, your anger was still blinding and you didn’t trust yourself with not killing him if you laid your eyes on him.

He sent you texts, emails, even left letters in your mailbox, but you threw them away not wanting to hear his petty excuses about why he made you miserable for so long.

There were days when you weakened and almost reached out for him. In the past few months when your relationship abruptly changed, you definitely felt yourself fall for him, but then you reminded yourself that he chose to hurt you in the past on purpose and didn’t even try to change, not even when he saw how much his behavior affected you.

Slowly, the calls and messages got less frequent until they stopped. You haven’t heard from him in over two months and though you still find yourself lying in bed with tears in your eyes, thinking about him, you’ve made yourself believe that you are better off without him. He has probably moved on already and got back to his playboy habits. He was always good in that, picking up random chicks, using them and then throwing them away when he felt like that.

You never told anyone what really happened. One time you just broke down in front of Rosa when he mentioned something about Harry. You couldn’t speak or breathe and she didn’t try to force you to tell her the story, but she figured it was something serious if you were so broken. She stopped bringing him up even though some days you were dying to hear just the smallest crumb of information about him.

You could only hope that time would heal the wound on your heart, but for a very long time you thought you wouldn’t feel like yourself again ever. But somehow, as the weeks rushed by you and life has gotten busy around you, you slowly stopped thinking about him every minute of the day until you were able to push it to the back of your mind and carry on with your life. Or at least pretend like you stopped thinking about him.

Two weeks after Harry’s confession you and Marcus broke up. You just had to face that it wouldn’t have worked no matter how hard you were trying. You hated how you could hear Harry’s words when you finally ended things, how he told you that you have to let go of him and you wouldn’t admit, but when you cried yourself to sleep that night, it wasn’t because of Marcus, but because you were missing Harry.

On his birthday you almost broke and sent him a text, even typed it in, but you deleted it not long after. You wondered how he spent it, thinking he must have had a party or something, but you were surprised when Rosa called you that evening to talk about something entirely different.

“You didn’t have plans tonight?” you carefully asked with a hint of suspicion. It was weird that if Harry was having a birthday party, Rosa and Steven weren’t invited.

“No, nothing. Why?” she asked, but she knew exactly your reason behind the question.

“Doesn’t matter.”

You found it weird, but didn’t let yourself rave about it too long or else you would have found yourself going down the same spiral you were trying to get out of for so long.

Each passing day brought a different emotion and you had to find your way through life while fighting them. You couldn’t see further than just a few days ahead and though it scared you, how drained and dark everything felt, there was not much you could do other than… wait.

***

Sitting at the dinner table you listen to Steven talk about this new coworker he has and how clumsy the dude is, your plate is half full in front of you but you don’t feel like you’ll be able to finish it anyway.

Rosa looks in your way, her eyes flickering down at your plate and she lets out a worried sigh.

“Y/N, have you been eating enough? You look so… skinny.”

“I’ve just been busy lately, skipping a few meals,” you tell her with an absentminded smile, trying to stop her from worrying, but she knows you better than that. Nodding at her husband they exchange a silent conversation before Steven leaves the table excusing himself, and taking Valerie with himself he walks upstairs leaving the two of you alone.

“Y/N, I’m seriously worried about you. This… can’t go on like this.”

“It’s not like I chose to be so miserable,” you mumble under your breath, but she ignores the comment.

“Look, I’ve been very patient with you, didn’t push you to talk about what happened, but I feel like you are crossing a line that’s very dangerous and I’m not just gonna watch you lose yourself.”

Taking a deep breath she leans back in her chair with a look in her eyes you don’t get too often, only when she is ready to go full mother mode on you.

“What Harry did was fucked up, I gotta give it to you. Acting like a dick all those years, there’s no excuse for that. But I don’t understand why you rejected him so harshly when he told you about his feelings.”

“So he told you what happened,” you roll your eyes. You definitely did not tell her anything, so it must have been Harry.

“Don’t pretend like you weren’t expecting it. He always says how much Steven gossips, but he was the one who barged in here when you two had that major fight.”

“What? He came here right after?” you ask and Rosa realizes that maybe she should have kept it to herself, but it’s too late now.

“He did. He was a hot mess, it was… the first time I ever saw him cry.” You bite into your bottom lip. That night had the same effect on you and though deep down you were hoping he felt the same pain, it was still surprising to hear about the state he was in after you parted ways. “He told us about everything, and though I wanted to murder him for the way he treated you for that long, I could see the panic in his eyes when he said how you reacted. As if… he just saw the apocalypse or something.”

“Don’t make it more dramatic than it really was,” you sigh, but Rosa keeps a straight face.

“I’m not. Probably shouldn’t tell you this, but he was shaking, couldn’t breath evenly, I think he went through a whole panic attack, all because of you.” You keep your mouth shut as you listen to your sister talking. “He explained it in details, everything that happened at the wedding, after that and since then. Went through the whole story and when he finished, he didn’t even have to say it out loud, I knew how painfully in love he was with you all along. That doesn’t change the fact that he should have handled the situation in a better way, but at least he acknowledged his own mistakes. He asked me if I thought you’d ever forgive him.”

“And what did you say?”

“I said that I genuinely didn’t know. And I still don’t know. Because I’m looking at you being just a ghost of yourself, clearly still in pain because of him, but you still didn’t even give him the chance to talk. You’d rather destroy yourself than to face him and your own feelings for him.”

Her words sting more than you were expecting and those stupid tears are welling in your eyes again, even though you truly thought you were drained out by now. Looking down at your hands you feel your face contorting as you start crying.

“Oh, Sweetheart,” Rosa breathes out and taking your hand she pulls you to the couch in the living room. She sits right next to you, pulling you into her arms as you start sobbing. “I know it hurts, but he didn’t mean to hurt you like that.”

“It’s not even that,” you choke out, not holding it back anymore. “I miss him so much, Rosa! I don’t want to, but I miss him so much!”

“Then why are you torturing yourself?”

“Because how am I supposed to believe him after what he did? What guarantees that it’s not just another stupid game for him, how do I know that? I don’t know how to believe him anymore.”

Rosa pushes you away so she can wipe your cheeks with her thumbs, a warm smile sitting on her lips as you try to control your sobbing.

“You can’t know that. You just… have to put yourself all out and hope for the best.”

“I was really hoping you wouldn’t say that,” you grimace, making her laugh.

“You think it was easy when I met Steven?”

“What do you mean?” you huff sitting up straight.

“I just got out of a horrible relationship, definitely not in the mood to date anyone and I was also very scared that everything would just happen the same way as before. It took me so much time to trust him even though he didn’t do anything wrong. I had to get over these fears and just believe that it won’t be the same. Nothing can guarantee you that you won’t end up with a heartbreak.”

“This is definitely not what I wanted to hear,” you choke out through your teary eyes, but manage to turn it into a laugh as Rosa chuckles with you pulling you in for another hug.

“I know, but it’s the truth.” She fixes your hair as you lean back from her. “So tell me. If you think about Harry, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind?”

You don’t answer right away, but the answer comes to you quickly. At the mention of Harry you don’t think of all the pain and hurt he has caused you, but of the good times you spent together. When you were struggling with Valerie the first time you looked after her and he came to the rescue.

“Maybe she needs to be changed?” Harry suggests holding her up, giving her butt a sniff, but you roll your eyes at him.

“You don’t think that was one of the first things I did? She is as clean as she could be. Maybe I should just call Rosa,” you sigh in defeat reaching for your phone but Harry snaps at you.

“No! Don’t, we can figure this out. Steven has been so excited to have a night off, we can’t ruin this for them. Come on, we have to have the slightest parenting skills and solve this without them.”

Nodding you agree with him, but you’ve completely run out of ideas.

“So what do you suggest?”

You can see the gears turning in Harry’s head as he is trying to come up with a plan, but it’s not like either of you have any experience with babies. The idea of calling Rosa is starting to burn in the back of your head, fear of failing this challenge taking over your thoughts.

Then Harry looks at you with a look that screams that he has an idea. You’re just about to ask what came into his mind when all of a sudden he starts to sing.

“Well, sometimes I go out by myself and I look across the water, and I think of all the things what you’re doing and in my head I paint a picture…”

You instantly recognize Amy Whinehouse’s iconic song, the one that’s also behind Valerie’s name, you know that for sure. Rosa was obsessed with the song growing up, she would sing it on the way to school, in the shower or while making dinner. You weren’t surprised she chose this name for her first daughter.

What surprises you that Harry sings like a literal angel. He hits the notes perfectly, nailing the lines like not many can and you listen to him with parted lips, eyebrows raised. This was the last thing you expected from him, but then again, it’s not the first time Harry has surprised you through the years of knowing him.

You still can’t help but smile how the two of you, incompetent godparents had to put up a whole show to put Valerie to sleep.

Then there was Christmas, when the two of you played never have I ever until six in the morning, having the best time you’d had in a long time.

“Never have I ever said the wrong person’s name while having sex.” A devilish smile sits on your lips as you watch him drink while you do the same. You see his eyebrows rise over the glass.

“Nasty,” he huffs. “When did that happen?”

“First year of college. I was casually seeing a guy, but I wasn’t really over my last ex from high school and accidentally called him Ethan.”

“And what was his real name?”

“I don’t even remember,” you admit with a laugh, clearly feeling the alcohol slowly kicking in. Harry’s mouth hangs open before his expressions turn into that iconic ‘not bad’ face.

“Never have I ever had a wet dream about a friend of mine,” Harry asks and you feel your cheeks heating up right away, eyes snapping down at your glass. Unwillingly, but you drink as Harry does the same. “Who was it?”

“I’m not answering this one,” you shake your head.

“Come on! I promise it’ll stay between us. Was it Steven?” he grins at you, clearly enjoying your embarrassment. “I bet it was Steven.”

“Shut up, it wasn’t!” you snap at him rolling your eyes.

“Okay, then who? I won’t sleep tonight if you don’t tell me!” he begs, but you shake your head stubbornly. “Do I know him?” Oh, all too well, you think to yourself. “Is it someone who was there at the bar last time?”

“Can we move past it?” you sigh painfully.

“No, no way. I’m not leaving you alone until you tell me!”

“It was you.”

The words slip out fast and a little quiet, but he hears them clear. His lips part, a truly stunned look pulls on his face and you just wish you didn’t say a word.

The thought of sleeping next to him that evening, or rather morning, it felt like you’ve reached a huge milestone. You didn’t admit it then, but you were already falling for him, harder than you wanted. The whole next day and the two of you sleeping together again the next night, it still holds a special place in your heart. You truly felt happy with him and it wouldn’t have been the same without him.

And there are so many more that make you smile just by thinking about them. Even after everything that happened, he is still the one that makes you smile.

Turning to Rosa you can’t even answer, just sigh in despair, but it tells her everything she needs to know.

“Listen. I know it’s hard, and that he hurt you badly, but… at least give him a chance to talk to you.”

“What if he doesn’t even want to talk anymore?” you huff. “Maybe he already has someone--”

Rosa starts laughing, maybe louder than she should and you look at her with a surprised expression.

“Ah, there’s no way. The guy has been moping around, barely even leaving his home for weeks. I can’t even get him out to go walking with me and Val. There’s no way he picked anyone up. No woman would stand the long face he has been sporting. So don’t worry about that.”

You sit there for a little while, trying your best to clear your thoughts and it’s nice that Rosa is there with you. If it wasn’t for her and Steven, all of this would have happened so differently, or maybe it wouldn’t have even happened.

“Who would have thought this is where we would end up?” you sigh the rhetorical question, but Rosa gifts you with an answer.

“I did,” she nods confidently.

“What?”

“Oh, I saw the way you two looked at each other at the wedding. And I’m not gonna say that our choice for the two of you to be godparents was strategic, but… we definitely had some secret intentions with it.”

“What the Hell, Rosa?!” you gasp at her.

“Oh come on!” she rolls her eyes. “I knew there was something, I was just not sure where it’s gonna head. And I’m not a nosy old lady to poke my nose into your business, so I was just enjoying the show.”

“I hate you so much,” you chuckle, shaking your head, but you couldn’t be mad at her. You have no idea how it will end, but at the end, you are still happy for the memories you share with Harry.

***

Friday evenings used to be Harry’s favorite. There was always something happening, somewhere to go, someone to meet up with, but it hasn’t been like that for a while now. Nothing seemed interesting or fun enough to get him out of his home. Instead, his usual became to just sit at home, contemplate if he should call you, then have way too much to drink and fall asleep either on the couch or if he made it to his bed, he thought about that day a lucky one.

Not one day went by without the paining thought of the look he saw in your eyes when you told him you didn’t want to see him. It felt like his whole world collapsed right on top of him and for weeks he felt like he wouldn’t ever see the sunlight from under the debris.

He had no one to blame but himself, and he really put a lot of effort into punishing himself. Cutting everything out from his life that brought him even the slightest joy, he was ready to live the rest of his life in sorrow.

Tonight is no different. He had a long day and arriving home he was quick to fix himself a drink before sinking down to the couch, not even bothering to turn the lights on. He likes the darkness, it’s comforting and fits his mood nowadays. Sipping on his drink he sinks down on the couch, letting his eyes close as he gives himself a few moments to rest his mind and body. When his glass empties out he decides to just have a shower and call it a day, not feeling like dealing with anything, but just as he is on his way to the bathroom, his doorbell rings.

You’ve been standing at his front door for about fifteen minutes now. You noticed how it was all dark in his house, but his car was on the driveway and you knew he is not one to walk anywhere, so you figured that he might just be in the bathroom or something. But the longer you stood on his doormat, the harder it was getting for you to actually ring the bell.

It’s been a few days since your talk with Rosa and you haven’t stopped thinking about everything she said, coming to the conclusion that even though you still have no idea what you wanted from Harry, you had to give him another chance to talk.

You almost left two times, walking down the stairs before running back up to the door. The third time you actually rang the doorbell, but when you heard it, when you realized that you actually pushed the button, you almost threw up.

Now you are hearing his footsteps coming towards the door and when he opens it and you see him standing right in front of you, for a short moment you forget to breathe. Last time you saw him you were ready to throw hands at him, but now… you would rather just run up to him and hug him as tight as you can.

It’s clear he hasn’t been his usual self either, the dark circles under his eyes are proof that he hasn’t been spending too much time sleeping, his posture lacks his usual confidence and he looks a lot paler than you rememberred him.

“Hey,” you manage to breathe out as he stares at you like you’re a ghost. And honestly? You feel like one.

As if Harry just suddenly wakes up, he steps back holding the door open for you. “Come on in!” he urges you and you shyly smile at him walking past him. It’s completely dark inside, but he is quick to switch the lights on once the front door is closed again.

“I, uhh-- do you want something to drink? Or eat?” he offers, rubbing his palms against his thighs, but you shake your head no.

“Can we talk? Or is it a bad time for you?”

“No, I have absolutely nothing to do. Take a seat,” he gestures towards the couch and the two of you walk over, sitting down on the two sides with a considerably big space in between.

You have absolutely no idea what to say. You should have come here prepared, or at least should have thought about how to start this, because now you’re just sitting there in the most awkward silence you’ve ever had to put up with. But before you could figure out what to say, Harry breaks the deafening silence.

“Y/N, I’m… so sorry. For everything. I know that I already told you that, but I will never stop apologizing. Because what I did was absolutely inappropriate, no matter what stood behind my actions. I swear I had the right intention at the beginning, but I had to face a situation I never had before, and I panicked. A-And when I realized what I did… I guess I thought it was too late to back out.”

You watch him scoot a little closer as he takes a deep breath and continues.

“I was a proper idiot. I hurt you because I couldn’t deal with my own feelings and I expected you to just… forget about it when I finally came clear to you, but you had every right to be mad at me. You still do. And I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to see me again, like, ever… but I want you to know, that I love you, and I will never forgive myself for what I did to you.”

You can’t push the smile down that tugs on your lips. All those fears you talked about to Rosa, how you don’t know if you’re gonna be able to believe him, they faded away the moment he said he loves you. And though you still have so much to talk about and work on, you just know you need him. No matter how mad you’ve been, how much pain he caused you, he is the one you are meant to be with and no one can change your mind about that.

Pushing yourself closer your knee bumps against his thigh and you reach out, running your fingers down the side of his face. He sucks on his breath at your touch, leaning into it immediately and you cup his face in your palm.

“You have to forgive yourself,” you tell him softly and his eyes flicker up to meet your gaze. “Because one day I will forgive you and I can’t have you stuck in the past if we are gonna give it a try.”

His eyebrows rise up at your last words, lips parting as he stares at you in awe. You surprised yourself a little with what you just said, you weren’t planning on going into such depths, but it just felt natural and you knew it had to be said. It’s not gonna be easy, build up your trust in him and a whole relationship after everything happened, but you’d never forgive yourself if you didn’t even try.

“I’ll need you to be patient with me, and I promise I’ll try my best to move forward with you, but I know that one day it’s all gonna be alright. And if you really feel the way you told me, I think we could give it a try. Give us a try.”

A sweet and relieved chuckle shakes through his chest as he reaches forward, his arms curling around you as he pulls you into his tight embrace. You hug his neck sharing his laughter, the warmth of his body pressed against yours wiping clean all the misery you went through alone in the past weeks.

“Of course I feel that way!” he breathes out, talking against your neck. “I love you and I’m gonna prove it to you every fucking day for the rest of my life.”

Blinking your tears away you lean back so you can see his beautiful eyes and you shiver when you see them filled with tears. For a few moments the two of you are just staring at each other with growing smiles, your hands slide up his chest and stop at the back of his neck as you pull him closer, resting your forehead against his.

“I’m still mad at you,” you tell him, but you can’t stop yourself from breaking a smile. Harry chuckles lightly, nuzzling his nose against yours.

“Does this mean you won’t let me kiss you?”

“If you don’t kiss me, I’ll be fucking fuming,” you warn him, making him laugh, but he surely doesn’t want to try his luck, because a moment later he presses his lips against yours, capturing them in a sweet first, but not really first kiss.

He kisses you over and over again, not wanting to pull away, he feels like he can’t get enough of you, and you share the feeling. The urge to touch him feel his hot skin under your fingertips is numbing and you just want to stay like this forever, locked in his arms, feeling him shower you with his love.

“I love you, Y/N. I love you so fucking much,” he breathes out when you finally pull away and your heart is threatening to break out of your chest every time you hear him say those words. You cup his cheeks in your hands and make him look you in the eyes.

“I love you too, Harry,” you whisper, and as the words roll down your tongue, it feels like something inside you just clicked. Like you found exactly where you should be at this moment. Like you found your home.

“Say that again, please,” he breathes out, fingers digging into your waist.

“I love you,” you tell him with a growing smile, before you pull him in for another kiss. Then another… and another…

***

“Up! Up!” Valerie demands, her tiny hands up in the air as she reaches towards you. Chuckling you lean down and lift her up into your arms, earning a sweet giggle from her.

“Are You excited about your baby brother? He’s gonna be here very soon,” you tell her and she looks at you with her bright eyes nodding her head.

“I be big sista’!” she cheers throwing her hands into the air and you nod chuckling.

“Yes, you will be a big sister!”

“Hopefully a patient and good big sister, right, Val?” Rosa speaks up from behind the two of you, her bump so big, it seems like she could pop any minute, but she still has two weeks until her due date. She’s been joking about carrying a mega baby for quite some time now.

Val just nods at what her mother said before she demands to be let down and the moment her feet touch the grass, she is off to conquer something new.

“Everything alright, momma?” you ask your sister and she sighs with a tired smile.

“I’m fine, could use a good night sleep without having to get up to pee every two hours.”

You just chuckle and slide a hand over her bump, just when you feel the little boy kick in there. You gasp at the feeling of a tiny foot, or maybe hand meeting your palm over Rosa’s tummy.

“He is feisty,” she chuckles, running a hand over her tummy as well.

“Do you guys have a name already?”

“Uh, not yet. But you know me, will probably decide it when he pops out. That was kind of the case with Val too.”

The two of you turn to the side when you hear the laughter of the little girl in talk and you see Harry throwing her over his shoulder as if she was just a little doll, and Valerie is enjoying how he is tossing her around even throwing her up in the air before catching her.

You can’t hide your widening smile at the sight of your goddaughter and boyfriend being the best duo. Harry never fails to amaze you how great he is with little kids, but it’s also funny if you think back at the time he had to come over to your place because he was freaking out the first time he was babysitting Val. He has come a long way since then for sure.

“So, how is living with Harry going?” Rosa asks when she sees that you can’t take your eyes off Harry.

The two of you moved in together just a few months ago, and though you had quite some fears about moving too fast, you can’t say any of them were relevant. The transition from living alone to living with Harry was fast and smooth, as if it was always meant to happen so fast. It was actually his idea, when your lease was nearing its end in March, he mentioned that you could always just move to him and not look for another place. It took you a few days, but you eventually made the decision to take this step in your relationship, and now you couldn’t be happier with your choice. You get to come home to him after work, share a bed and wake up next to him every day. You wouldn’t want it any other way.

“It’s pretty great. Going better than I thought,” you admit truthfully.

“I hope you know mom is already planning your wedding,” she scoffs and you just roll your eyes.

“I know. She’s been hinting it for Harry as well.”

“Has she?”

“Yeah. Like, every time she sees him, she makes sure he knows that he is expected to propose as soon as possible.”

“And how does that sit with Harry?” You just smile shrugging your shoulder.

“He dodges it every time, but I feel like he is fine with it. Maybe he is already planning it.”

“I bet he is,” Rosa grins. “The guy is head over heels in love with you, anyone could see that.”

Just as she says that, Harry’s eyes catch your stare and he grins at you putting Valerie down. You bite into your bottom lip as he fixes his shirt waving in your way.

“Oh shit, I think Val is about to throw dirt at Aunt Monica, gotta stop her,” Rosa snaps seeing her daughter grab a handful of dirt and heading in your aunt’s direction.

You just chuckle as Harry walks up to you, arms curling around your waist as he steals a quick kiss.

“Saw you staring with those pretty eyes, babe,” he teases you as you place your hands on his biceps.

“I’m not sorry. I like looking at what’s mine.” He grins shaking his head at you before kissing you once more. “I love seeing you with Val,” you admit smiling up at him.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm, you’re really good with her.”

He nods and stays silent for a little as you slide your hands up to his shoulders, tilting your head to the side.

“Just wait until you see me with our babies,” he shyly mumbles, but it surely makes your heart skip a beat. You’d be lying if you said you haven’t thought about having babies with Harry, but hearing it from his mouth just hits differently.

“So you’re thinking about babies already?” you tease him smirking.

“I mean… we surely practice the baby making quite a lot,” he jokes and you smack his chest playfully for the dirty joke, but you laugh with him. “I wouldn’t mind if it was our babyshower already,” he admits with a shy smile.

“You know, there’s an order for things, and baby making is not up next,” you tell him pointing a finger at him.

“Yeah? What is then?” he grins knowingly, just wanting to make you say it. But instead, you just hold up your hand and wiggle your empty fingers. “Oh, I wouldn’t have figured, not with all the hints your mom has been dropping,” he chuckles.

“She’s just excited!” you defend her.

“Mhm, and what about you? Are you excited?”

“Is this your attempt at trying to figure out if I would say yes?”

“Maybe, I’m not confirming anything,” he cheekily smiles, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “So? Hypothetically, if I were to pop the question in the near future, what would you say?”

“Well, hypothetically, I think I would say yes,” you say, a wide smile spreading across his ridiculously handsome face. “But you know, reality would be different, so, you have to really ask the question to find out,” you add trying to look unbothered, but you start laughing as he digs his fingers into your side.

“Alright, alright. I got the hint,” he chuckles leaning down as he kisses you. “Don’t worry. I got it all under control.”

“Oh, I don’t worry. I know you too well, Harry Styles. All too well!” you tease him.

“And you love me for everything you know about me, am I right?” he grins proudly. You think about teasing him a little more, but you can never lie about how much you love him. It’s just impossible to deny it, even if it’s just a joke.

So taking a deep breath you just smile up at him nodding.

“Of course,” you tell him, pecking his lips shortly. His hand finds yours and brings it up between the two of you, brushing his thumb over your naked fingers, a satisfied grin pulling on his lips.

Looking into your eyes he doesn’t say anything, just kisses the place where one day a ring will sit and it’s like a silent agreement that your finger won’t stay empty too long.

And oh boy, you were right! Because just three short weeks later, when the two of you are hiking at a breathtaking scenery on your weekend getaway, Harry gets down on one knee. You gasp even though he made it clear it’s gonna happen soon, but the fact that he did it exactly the way he told Aunt Monica, at a gorgeous lookout on a hill, just warms your heart. He smiles up at you, nervousness glistening in his eyes as he asks that one question, popping the lid of the small velvety box open, revealing the ring.

“Will you marry me?”

You choke out, not able to contain your feelings as you throw yourself into his arms chanting yes, yes, yes! continuously to him.

PROLOGUE

A pair of tiny feet are tapping on the white tiles, following behind the bigger ones, slaloming between the patients, the set of balloons floating behind them as they run down the hallway like crazy. An old lady looks down at the little girl with a sweet smile and she waves at her before running after her mommy, not wanting to lose her.

“Come on, it’s right there!” Rosa cheers as she grabs Valerie’s hand once they reach the right hallway. She leaps excitedly, a nervous, but happy giggle leaving her lips, eyes snapping up at the blue balloons in her mother’s hands. She is mesmerized by them, though she knows she can’t keep them. They are for someone else. Someone special.

“Are we there?” she asks when they stop at a closed door as Rosa checks her phone to see if she remembered the number of the room correct.

“Yes, we are!” she squeals happily before turning to her daughter. “Val, remember what we talked about?”

The little girl nods proudly, bringing a finger to her lips as she thinks back to the conversation she had with Rosa earlier.

“Yes. He is very tiny and I need to be gentle with him!” she repeats her mother’s words and Rosa smiles down at her proudly.

“Yes, baby. Very good. Now come on, let’s meet baby Finn!” she cheers in excitement as the two of them walk up to the door and Rosa knocks on the door gently, not wanting to disturb if someone is sleeping in there.

Valerie is standing next to her leg, one hand holding onto the fabric of her jeans, while the other one reaches to the lock that fell into her face. She nervously curls it around her finger, fidgeting with it as she patiently waits, just like her mommy taught her.

The door opens and Harry’s wide grin welcomes the two of them, Valerie immediately mirroring his expression as she sees her godfather.

“Hey princess!” he greets her, picking her up into his arms without hesitation. “Come on in,” he invites Rosa in and she can barely hold her excitement when she sees you sitting on the hospital bed in that awfully familiar and ugly gown, a little bundle of joy in your arms, so wrapped up she can’t even see his face.

Your tired eyes tear away from the baby in your arms and they meet Rosa’s glossy gaze. She drops the balloons next to the door, carelessly abandoning them as she feels her heart beat faster in her chest once her eyes finally lay on the face of the new addition of the family.

“Hey! How are you?!” she breathes out walking closer, pulling a chair to sit beside you. You glance down at baby Finn, still unable to truly express how you really feel about becoming a mom.

Taking a deep breath you look up at Harry who is already staring at you, that special shine of pride still so obvious in his green eyes, you just wish you could see him so happy and joyful every day for the rest of your life. He shoots you a warm smile before turning to Valerie, who is fumbling with his necklace on his chest.

“I’m tired, but so happy, Rosa,” you breathe out and she chuckles nodding, fully understanding the feeling. If there is anyone, that’s her who knows exactly what it’s like to hold your baby in your arms for the first time.

“He is so beautiful, those cheeks, oh my God!” she whispers leaning a little closer to see the sleeping baby boy better. He is nestled in his mom’s arms, already deep in his first big sleep on this world before he starts to explore it. “I gotta say, he looks a lot like Harry,” she admits looking over at the happy dad who tries to push down a grin while you roll your eyes at the statement.

“So unfair! Cooked him inside me for nine months, then pushed him out my cooch, and he has the audacity to look like his father!” you dramatically say, but there’s a small smile playing on your lips.

You can’t be mad at him. If something, you really hope he’ll turn out to be just like his daddy, because that man has you whipped even after years of being together.

“Give him a few months and he might morph into your little version,” Rosa chuckles.

“Val, you ready to meet your cousin?” Harry asks the little girl in his arms who nods vigorously.

“Cousin!” she cheers throwing her hands into the air.

“Remember what we talked about! Be gentle!” Rosa warns her again as Harry walks closer, sitting to the edge of your bed as you sit up straight, bringing Finn closer so she can see.

She patiently sits on Harry’s lap, hands curled together at her stomach as she peeks at the sleeping baby, her curious eyes taking in his features.

“Sleeping?” she asks glancing up at you.

“Yes, he is very tired now,” you nod smiling.

All three of you watch her stare at the baby as if he was a magical creature, but to her, he is. If you are being honest, he is one for all of you. You still hadn’t wrapped your head around the fact that he is here.

“So? What do you think?” Harry asks, giving her a little squeeze when she’s been quiet for some time.

“Can I kiss him?” she asks, melting all three of you with the request.

“Of course you can!” you tell her and push yourself a little forward so she can reach him. Valerie leans down and places a soft, lingering kiss to Finn’s forehead that’s not covered by the little blue hat on his head.

Your eyes snap up to Harry and you see that his eyes are tearing up again, something that’s been happening continuously since he first saw his son hours earlier. He is clearly obsessed with not just Finn, but the whole idea of being a father, you figured he has been for quite some time. The way he treated Val like she was his own never failed to melt your heart and push you a step closer to the idea of having a baby with him one day. That day finally came and you can tell he is on cloud nine.

“Want to know a secret?” you ask Valerie with a small smirk. She nods, eyes lighting up. She is such a nosy little girl! “If you weren’t born, baby Finn wouldn’t be here today.”

Rosa looks at you with tears in her eyes as she processes your words. Not that it’s anything new, but she always cracks up thinking about the fact that Valerie was the reason why you and Harry got together in the first place.

“Really? I did it?” she asks looking at her mother, probably not really knowing what it means exactly, but she gets the essence of it.

“Yes,” you chuckle. “You did it.”

“He’ll need a lot of help, Val. Do you want to be his best friend?” Harry asks looking down at the little girl.

“I am his best friend!” she confidently says and you chuckle feeling your heart just overflowing with the love you’ve been experiencing.

“Good, he already loves you so much, Val. I know it,” Harry smiles hugging her to his chest as she cuddles to him happily.

You look at Valerie as she mindlessly starts telling about something that happened at the playground the other day and he listens to her like she was telling him the meaning of life, giving her his full attention. The stupid smile can’t be wiped from your face as you look at the two of them, the memory of being in a hospital room with both of them still vivid in your mind.

It still blows your mind how far you’ve come from biting each other’s head off to being married and having a baby, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. If you ended up here, you’d go through the whole chaos with him again without a second thought. He is everything to you and now you are tied together forever, thanks to all higher forces that brought you to this very point in life.

Harry looks at you while Valerie is still talking and Rosa is busy admiring Finn. He smiles at you again before mouthing the words ‘I love you!’, making your heart flutter like it’s the first time you heard him say it though he has said those words to you every day since then, making sure you don’t forget how hopelessly in love he is with you.

“I love you too,” you whisper back before your eyes return to the sleeping baby in your arms. “And I love you too.”

PREVIOUS PART

A/N: oh my! i really can’t believe it ended! thank you so much for sticking with me for this series, im really proud of this one and it’s probably one of my favs i’ve ever written! thank you for supporting my writing and i hope you enjoyed this series as much as i enjoyed writing it! pls feel free to share your thoughts with me about the chapter or the whole series itself, i would LOVE to read your reactions and comments! and i hope you’ll find my upcoming works just as endearing as Valerie was!!

TAGLIST

let me know if you’d like to be added or taken off!

@f-vasquezp @perspnhel @http-cherries @h-arrystyles @just-damn-bored @millennial-teenybopper @sarcasticallywitty15 @gwenlovesharrystyles @perfectywrong @do-youseeme @burberryharold @irwindoll @stylesfics-xx @sltwins @mellamolayla @funeral-7 @yourkidsfavbabysitter @nesiamenick @sunflower6why @rainbowbutterflyboy

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles oneshot #harry styles one shot #harry styles series #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fanfic #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles valerie #harry styles valerie series #valerie series

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hrryfics · 3 years

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enemies to lovers

Checkmate (series) @enthusiasticharry

Harry and Y/N go through the trials and tribulations of trying to navigate a new relationship that they won’t admit to being in, as well as the trials and tribulations of chess championships and the stress that can entail on ones mind.

Baby Blue (series) @theasstour

the story of Y/N being painter!harry’s model for the summer as he works on a major project. enemies to lovers au set in tuscany, italy.

Valerie (series) @watchmegetobsessed

Where you and Harry are the godparents of your sister’s baby and you’re forced to get along for the sake of baby Valerie.

Miles & Black Coffee (series) @idk-who-she-is

the one with campfire conversations, cabin getaways, and enemies that were never really enemies after all.

42 Hours Part 2 @sunflowervolvimp3

in which Harry and Y/N are forced into a cross country road trip to make it to their best friends’ wedding on time

Symptoms of Kindness @harriefromtheblock

harry styles, the son of a British diplomat, and y/n as they navigate junior fall, a final project, and empathy together (some more successfully than others)

Gold Rush Heart of Gold @celestialrry

Enemies to lovers, inspired by the lovely Taylor Swift’s Gold Rush!

Steal Your Heart @havethetimeofyourstyles

in which you and harry steal each other’s stuff that eventually leads to more.

The View From Both Sides of the Mirror @serendipitystyles

Who would have thought that being stuck on a boat with your worst enemy would be a good thing?

Here’s to Us

When Harry’s the last option to help you with a project that you’re working on, things are either going to go very well, or they're going to crash and burn.

If Love Be Rough With You Part 2 @wonderrdies

In which you and Harry are professors at a prestigious Art and Language university but can’t stand each other. Well, you can’t stand him.

Under the Amber Light @starsstruck

where y/n finds herself working in a darkroom along with harry, who she has never gotten along with.

Similar Tastes Part 2 @finestoflines

You and Harry are too similar for you to ever get along...maybe

When the Lights Go Out @hsogolden

frenemies to lovers

Traditions

“So let me get this right. You want to hire me as your date for a Valentine’s Day Party?”

Quid Pro Quo @talesofstyles

in which you can’t stand your colleague

Barefoot in the Park @soysauceharry

in which you and harry are dueling violinists competing for the same prize, but you might just win something else along the way.

The Same Coin @eternal-imagines

in which you and Harry work at the local coffee shop that your mom owns

Y/N and Harry hate each other, until they don’t @hazzastitties

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles angst #harry styles smut #harry styles masterlist #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader

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stylesfics-xx · 3 years

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stylesfics-xx 2020 Fic Recs

These are the fics&oneshots I have really enjoyed this year, in no particular order! Thank you to all the writers who share their work with us.

Complete Fics

you feel like home by @luminescencefics

nuclear family by @writingsfromhome

Doctor Harry by @loudsuitlover

Only Human by @hsogolden

One Thing Led To Another by @halfwaygones

Office Neighbours by @atlafan

Fine Line, ‘Cause Nothing Feels Like Home, Look At You With Your Mouth Watering by @harryforvogue

Strange Tides by @theasstour

Stay With Me by @hstylespal

Someday, Someday (sequel Twenty Good Reasons), Sail The Wildest Stretch by @beautifulletdownfics

Collide, January in Japan by @oh-honey-styles

Matchmaking For Experts, Alone Together, Hate & Other Words by @booksncoffee

Rumour Has It by @stylishmuser

Unplanned, Two Years Too Late by @idkthisisjustforfanfic

Habits of My Heart by @paynethecreator

Pure Feeling (sequel Higher Feeling, ongoing third book Endless Feeling) by @embloomfields

Styles&Co. by @imagine-that-one-thing

Three Rules by @goldenbluesuit

Loving You’s The Antidote (ongoing sequel All I’ve Ever Known) by @sweetcreatureinthedark

Girl Crush by @padfootagain

Temptation, The Only Exception by @bopbopstyles

Who’s Your Daddy? by @inyourhaven

Lighthouse, As You Held Onto Me by @for-fucks-sake-h

Flatmate Series and My Girl Series by @heyyyharry

Hell of a Life by @alexandragramz

Valerie by @watchmegetobsessed

Always by @kind-heart

Tarnish by @hes-writer

Could Be Lethal by @idk-who-she-is

Ongoing Fics

Can’t Stand To See You Lonely by @wroteasongabouther

In My Feelings by @harrystylescherry

The Young and Famous by @verorax

Reconcile by @talesofstyles

Quarantine Harry by @all-things-fic

Less Than Lovers, Baby Love by @paynethecreator

High Noon by @younghearts-stories

Personal Best by @curlsgetgirls

Call Me Cat by @idkthisisjustforfanfic

model!Y/N and ceo!Harry by @and-im-okay-with-it

All I Ask Of You by @cherrygoldenharry

hold my hand by @harrytheehottie

Pinky Promises by @bouquetofkissesxo

Muse by @inyourhaven

Blurred Lines by @permanentcrossfics

Another World by @sunflowerstache

Sweet As Honey by @c-h-e-r-r-y-y

Alien Crossing by @rosegoldsweetpea

Trick of the Light by @andwhenshesays

Cloudbusting by @starsstruck

Something About A Feeling by @oh-styles

you’re someone i just want around by @adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy and @sunflowervolvimp3

Ma Petite Chérie by @svnflowervol666

Oneshots

Can you do mine? by @sadorangejuice

try try again by @snlhostharry

baby it’s cold outside by @havethetimeofyourstyles

only we know, when I look at you by @stylesharrys

quarantining with h, beautiful people by @canyon-moan

kissies, the importance of I love you’s by @sweetsbfreex

the same page by @writingsfromhome

1:32AM by @parkersroses

Holiday Wishes, Mistletoe Kisses, the gala (honeybee) by @berrynarrybanana

Love You, That’s All by @hsluna

Only Wish (This Year) by @cocochannel00

green eyes by @harrystylescherry

santa’s elf by @lovealwaysvictoria

grammy nominations by @muffindaddystyles

Purple Clouds and Tangerine Skies by @mysweetestcreature

Till Death by @heyyyharry

Something New by @atlafan

Our Little Family by @angeliccry

Banana Pancakes by @ill-be-your-honey-bri

“I could just hold you and listen to your voice all night long.” by @pinencurls

Friendly Competition by @hewearsgucci

you won’t want me anymore, make up shows and foot casts by @all-my-love-for-harry

untitled by @harryforvogue

on your side by @harryimaginedstories

reason to hate you by @wellbeafinelime

Liability (Reprise) by @kissypoets

Keep It by @honeyedrasp

flowered hands by @stylesmessiah

changes by @sunflowervolvimp3

sold by @harrywritingsbyme

Zane Lowe Interview by @svnflowervol666

Score by @andwhenshesays

a gingerbread family by @adoremp3

All I Want For Christmas Is You by @goldenbluesuit

Fake, Repeated Proposal by @stardusthes

Falling by @mellowstyles94

Behind The Bar by @bopbopstyles

backpedal by @botanicials

apologies by @autumn-sunflowers

Adore You, Frosty The Snowman by @gucciwins

A Better Place by @harry-writings

Open, Desert by @bfharry

The View From Both Sides of The Mirror by @milfzaynmalik

Keys of Truth by @watchmegetobsessed

Mistletoe and Holly by @heart-attack-harry

Bangles by @kissme-hs

Vampire!harry Christmas by @moonchildstyles

if I could go back by @luvelyhs

La Paloma by @for-fucks-sake-h

Girl by @sweetcreatureinthedark

Fics I Keep Going Back To/Think About

Sugar on the Asphalt/Tennessee Teacakes by @justanchorandhope

Awkward Beat/Pregnant Pause by @finding--cat

Forever Hold Your Peace by @cheesewithchips

Boys Don’t Cry by @oxygenstyles

Intrinsic Grey and 1999 by @sammarkumismyhomegirl

Nom de Plume and Dandelion and Burdock by @stylesprimes

Butterfly Boy and The Faux Affair by @looselucy

Salute by @bioluminescentwriting

Not A Bad Thing by @booksncoffee

Journeyman by @littlebird006

Slow Burn by @allywrites

Pure Feeling/Higher Feeling/Endless Feeling by @embloomfields

Come and Fade Me and Bring It Back by @paynethecreator

Bloom by @absolutestyles

In Your Atmosphere by @fromherlips

Love is a Laserquest by @lifeinblueprint

The Golden Hour/Young Blood by @standingfacingwest

The Nice Guy and Valley of the Dolls by @onismanxiety

Twinkle Toes by @konstantine11-11

With the New Crowd by @likeamisfit

Stardust&Silk and Passive Aggressive by @ineffably-styles

Fresh Eyes by @americanowrites

Above Average, First Base by @roselirry

Matched by @mrsmiresa

Snowbound by @permanentcrossfics

Stuck in the Storm by @giantbandgeeks

Fic Rec Pages

@harry-stylesarchives

@bfharryficrec

@harrysficrecs

@harryficlibrary

@ficsr

@harrystylesficrecs

@harrystylesficsienjoy

@harrystyles-conceptsn

@harryfanfics

@hsfics

@reveriehs

@harryswinterberries

#harry styles imagine #harry styles one shots #harry styles oneshots #harry styles fanfiction #imagine harry styles #harry styles oneshot #fic rec #1dff #harry styles fanfic #harry styles angst #one direction fanfiction #masterlist

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kncrowder88 · 3 years

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Voyager and Romance

So, the thing about Voyager and romance that sticks with me is they seem to do one couple really, or more accurately two characters, any real justice overall. And that is B’Elanna and Tom. While moments for that relationship may not be perfect that is rather realistic for relationships, as no relationship is perfect all the time so that is tolerable. This post though isn’t going to be about looking at that particular relationship though but primarily at other relationships. Largely because a discord server I am in was talking about Counterpoint and I realized why I both love the episode but also have weird feelings with it. Which, I’ll touch more on that specifically after I discuss the relationship stuff (as that plays a part).

So, I will preface this with it has been a bit since I’ve done a binge of Voyager and really a full binge of Star Trek in general. As such, I may forget a few relationships on the show and overall, throughout Trek in general. From what I can really toss together … I honestly am beginning to believe that when it comes to Voyager and the other shows (the older ones not the new ones – I am not including any NEW Trek in this) that for some reason the relationship writing with Voyager was rather different. Like, they gave 3 characters active relationships prior to being stranded. That being Harry Kim, Kathryn Janeway, and Tuvok. Out of these three we get Janeway and Tuvok holding onto those relationships in their own way while … it seemed mildly convenient for Harry to mention it when it suited him, I guess (like that time Tom wanted to set them up for a double date or you know when he ended up in that alternate timeline but still wanted back with Voyager even more like). Like, the reason I don’t list Tuvok-T’Pel above is because we don’t actually get to SEE that in full, we just get to see Tuvok’s side of it and his dedication – we don’t see the relationship, we don’t see the couple.

Harry and Tom, prior to his relationship with B’Elanna, seem to frequently do this sort of two bros dating around thing which is fine but like … same time the show used them for that. And once they settled Tom with B’Elanna they used Harry in those plot lines when it worked. Thus the alien STD episode and the “how dare you not get the standard permission from your CO and CMO” line (like they really put that into a Trek ep and I’m still unable to not picture Riker, Kirk, Picard, and everyone other Trek character constantly getting permission for their latest romance – just remember Jadzia and Worf likely had to get permission from Sisko and Bashir if the Trill and Klingon weren’t already approved of in the system just saying, that’s a thing that happened). Anyways … my point is they went out of their way on this. Like, when Kes was with Neelix they wrote Neelix to be that jealous judgmental boyfriend who literally got upset she knew where other people’s quarters where, she was nice to Tom, she was … just yeah. They wrote Tom to come off as a player pulling Harry into it, when Tom settled down Harry seems to pick that up (I mean you got his “omg Seven” phase and the alien STD stuff and lord knows what else I’m forgetting with him).

And to top this off I haven’t even touched on the “Janeway can’t have a romance” stuff yet. Which is where my real problem is. Like, its bad enough they brought in Jeri for the sex appeal (which lets be honest stems from the fact they couldn’t use Janeway for that – which I get, Kate was right in the whole concept of the audience target having to keep respect for a female lead and sex appeal couldn’t be a focal point but they could have balanced it right and regrettably because they couldn’t that meant Jeri got all of the other side of the coin). Many of Seven’s eps center on romance or social stuff and honestly that is a whole other WTF post in its own right because it all leads up to the sudden get with the one person on the ship who didn’t want you here in the first place and who also would have served better as the male adult guidance figure/father figure than as a ROMANTIC partner but hey BS happened behind scenes to cause that chaotic romantic on screen set up. But yeah … this is just another example of the poor Voyager romantic plot lines.

Chakotay’s romantic plot lines are usually – and by that, I mean pretty much always – with these strong independent women. But usually, at least from what I recall, they are also typically the “needs help” (damsel in distress/can’t do it alone/etc.) plot. Like, Riley was strong independent but also set up to need help in regard to getting her little collective put back together on the planet. You got Kellin, again another strong lady who yet again also needed help. At least in the ep she’s in and if I recall much of the info on how they fell in love during that time as well – primarily with getting away from danger at the start and then during the initial romance finding her target. Valerie is the only one who doesn’t fall into the needs help plot and that’s largely because she was being manipulated by Chakotay for information – which honestly just goes to show how well Chakotay was at the whole undercover stuff (which tells us a lot about what he could have been doing as a Maquis). Seska was the plot point of “you once dated her, now she is going to badger you to get with her again and when that fails, she’s going to assault you” …. like all of Chakotay’s romances are literally him either 1) being manipulated (as that’s what Seska and Riley did) or 2) being the kind guy or 3) not an actual relationship (either because its undercover work or because the writers were too cowardly to make him and Janeway canon).

Then you got Janeway. Then you got KATHRYN JANEWAY. You know, the one where Kate Mulgrew said no romance, no sexualizing, no doing that sort of stuff because the audience had to maintain respect for the character. I’m sure someone has the exact various quotes out there. Like … this is why we don’t have JC as canon. But what we do got instead is …. Janeway in Prime Factors being flirted with by the administrator as if that’s going to get him what he wants because “female leader means flirt with her”. We got Janeway and a period drama holodeck adventure in the early years which was clearly meant to be her romantic tête-à-tête early on that never got followed up with. We got “delete the wife” with the Fair Haven plot point (because its totally respectable to see the FEMALE LEAD, the STARFLEET CAPTAIN, just straight up DELETE THE WIFE of another individual - yeah, I get its meant to be humor factor because hologram but come on). You have her whole thing with Mark which we get tidbits off but again similar to Tuvok we literally only get to see her side of it – the only couple moment of theirs we get is the comm call in Caretaker.

But Jaffen? You are correct. We got that lovely and touching and wonderful romance with Jaffen …. Oh wait … they had to remove her from the ship, strip her of her memory, and her autonomy in order for her to have a relationship with another individual. And yes, by losing her memories, by losing what made her who she was as a person, she did lose a sense of autonomy. She entered into a relationship without a full sense of independent choice. The point in which she made a choice in that episode, the point in which she – Kathryn Janeway – made a choice with all of the person, the individual she is, was at the end when she had her memories back and could decide based on the values and beliefs and all that she is. What I’m getting at is the people on that planet deliberately took away who she was, they took her memories and her ability to make the decisions they knew she would make --- they did that deliberately (that’s even established in the episode) --- and as such her decisions while in that state are not truly her full independent decisions but the ones impacted by the state she was forced into.

And while I love Resolutions, while I love all the JC goodies, we get in that ep … Yet again the only time we get to see Janeway in any sort of romantic situation is when they remove her from the ship. When they remove her from command. When they strip her of that setting. This time, though – well the first time – she keeps awareness and has to go through lose of it all in order to even start to let it all happen. I love the episode, I do, but I just find it rather amusing they went “’Hey we gotta strand them what should their tasks be on the planet?” and they immediately went “Well Janeway is scientist how about that” “Okay and he can build, Chakotay can start building. Man builds house, right?” and then like went “oh and then she can start a garden” …. Like really? Really? That’s what you got for me. Oh, and then there is the monkey. That’s the romance this ep. Boat, science, monkey.

Then we got Kashyk. We have dealt with Kathryn throughout this series dealing with various leaders of various styles. As mentioned, Prime Factors guy attempted flirting. Other leaders pulled similar or worse or even dismissed her …. Like the list goes on. Counterpoint is a great episode because it deals with prejudice and is rather dark. The thing is, had Janeway been able to have a healthy romantic relationship on screen to counter this episode this episode probably would have come off better. Episodes like Prime Factor could have been done different (that leader didn’t need to be as flirty for example). One or two eps through the series having creepy dudes she had to deal with, fine, whatever … that be a nice impact for the audience. But when you have to many prior to Counterpoint – even if its minor, small stuff – it makes this episode so much harder for fans. Especially the female fans who deal with this constantly.

See, here’s the thing with this ep…. Some of the fans who watch … we know Kashyk well. We know that character. He is that male leader, that male power figure, who uses the power he has to manipulate those in his control to get what he wants. And Kathryn … Kathryn was in his control. Kashyk is listed as a relationship on memory-alpha. But much like how I view Seska with Chakotay … I do not view Kashyk as a proper relationship. In Devore space, Kathryn did not have proper power. She had people in her command, on her ship, that she had to protect. That she knew she had to protect. Her own best friend … lives in her hand … and Kashyk right there willing to kill them. Willing to snatch them up and destroy them. And he used that power to manipulate her and play her. Yes, she played him right back but … did she truly have a choice? Did she have any other choice but to play his game? What would have happened if she said no? And that … that is why this episode is so unsettling for some people. And why this relationship being considered on is so off putting … that the writers, that memory-alpha, that the fact I’m putting it on this list as one of the ones on here for Voyager says so much … they wrote this as one of her relationships while out there … she had to do what so many women had to do to stay safe, to keep people she loves safe, and that’s not a relationship.

Voyager could have done romance/relationships such better justice.

#star trek #star trek voyager #i had some feelings about things #primarily the Kashyk thing #but that lead to other things #and honestly i am really begining to question romance in voyager #but also like overall in Trek in general #like the more i think about Voyager the more im like oh god they really did seem to fail there #because the only valid couple i can think of is Tom and B'Elanna

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transxfiles · 4 years

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It’s Fic Back Friday, so under the cut are a few fics I love and read a year or so ago.

Made for Ending by track_04 Fandoms: Magic School Bus and Mary Poppins Pairing: Valerie Frizzle/Mary Poppins Summary: This is playing off the idea that Ms. Frizzle and Mary Poppins are both time lords, and is the story of their lives, together and apart. Beautifully written; it reads almost like poetry at points.

Forever by orphan_account Fandom: Harry Potter Pairing: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin Summary: This fic has really stuck with me! It’s a YouTuber AU which is generally something I’m not a big fan of because I find they’re really hard to write and still stay accurate with the characters and also feel engaging, but this author nails it! I love how they characterize all of the Marauders. Sirius is a CODA, and runs a BSL YouTube channel with James. Remus and Peter run a more miscellaneous channel. Remus and Sirius find each others’ videos and it spirals into wacky scenarios from there. I love this one!

the spider-man conspiracy by tempestaurora Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), and Iron Man (Movies) Pairing: None. Summary: Essentially, Peter Parker, Ned Leeds, and Harley Keener all get together and come up with the biggest prank of all time - they decide to make a conspiracy YouTube channel where they ‘try to figure out’ who Spider-Man is. This one’s the start of a series, and I recommend reading them all. This fic is well-written, hilarious, and does not disappoint.

Floriography by SweetHermitress Fandom: Welcome To Night Vale Pairing: Carlos the Scientist/Cecil Palmer Summary: This one’s a flower shop AU, and uses a lot of the language of the flowers, which I’m a sucker for. There’s also pining and love confessions... good stuff.

the stars are brightest around you by mysterykid43 Fandom: Lumberjanes Pairing: Jo/April Summary: Jo realizes she is very in love with her best friend. This fic’s adorable, I’ve read it over and over and over again.

Shuri/MJ is such a god-tier concept tbh [Podfic] by rhythmia Fandoms: Black Panther (2018) and Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) Pairing: Michelle Jones/Shuri Summary: This was the first podfic I ever listened to and it’s still my favorite. I love it! Rhythmia does a wonderful job bringing all of the characters to life.

Something in Common by rosefox Fandom: Steven Universe (Cartoon) Pairing: None. Summary: This is probably my favorite Steven Universe fic ever! Another one I’ll reread over and over again. I think I have it saved to my phone somewhere. Basically, it’s about Connie telling Steven about a convention for polyamorous families, and the two of them and the Gems and Greg all go. It reads so much like an actual SU episode, and so many moments feel like they come straight out of the show! There’s also some Stevonnie time, and fun moments with both Greg and the Gems that never fail to make me smile.

The Illumination of Coley Taylor by Kindness Fandom: The Miseducation of Cameron Post - Emily M. Danforth (Book) Pairing: None. Summary: At the time I found this fic, the Cameron Post movie wasn’t out yet, so this was the only work in fandom. I kept going back to reread it, and now that there are other fics in the fandom, it’s still my favorite. It’s written like something right out of the book, and is all about what happens to Coley Taylor after Cameron has to go to conversion camp, and leads up to them being reunited. Kindness nails the writing style; this feels like something by Danforth herself!

#cricket.chatterbox

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hrhduchessoflancaster · 5 years

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Chapter Eighty-Seven: Blessing Upon Thee

A/N: Thank you for all your comments and likes! And I apologise for taking so long to update. With my thesis to write and research going on, I had barely had time to focus on anything else. Also, there’s a bit of NSFW in this chapter so be cautious. xx Bea

Disclaimer: see Prologue

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With Trooping the Colour out the way, the Sussexes and their family, could focus on their main event for the Summer: Arthur’s christening. The date was set for the 23rd of June, at St George’s Chapel, where Harry had been baptised. Prince Seeiso of Lesotho, Princess Eugenie, the Marquess of Lorne, and Mary Collins would serve as godparents. The venue had been decorated with lilies and daisies, a choir would sing Be thou my vision and Bread of Heaven, the latter which was sung at Elle and Harry’s wedding. As per tradition, Arthur would wear the replica of the christening gown worn by all royal children since Queen Victoria’s, the same worn by his cousins George and Charlotte. The family and their guests, which were more or less than twenty, would stay at Windsor Castle for the ceremony and reception.

Elle’s parent’s were thrilled and made a point to contribute with the celebration, bringing a piece of their own tradition to the christening, which she and Harry were more than happy to oblige. First there was the silver coin that would be given to baby Arthur for luck, and a tiny red ribbon would be tied to his wrist to protect him against evil.

“ We have to make some Christening Pieces for the guests.", said Victoria. A Christening Piece was an old Scottish tradition to offer sweets, generally in the form of cake or biscuits, along with a bit of money, to the guests after the christening ceremony. Elle gladly delegated that task to her mother, her aunt Ava, and Valerie. Meanwhile, she and Harry would sign all the invitations and give them to Ronald in order to send them to the guests. The godparents were already alerted of the date, of course, but there were some other family members who needed to me reminded of it.

But before they could go to Windsor and have the beautiful service she had envisioned, Elle and Harry had a joint engagement on their hands. They would be travelling to Edinburgh, for her first visit to the Royal Botanic Garden. Since their wedding, she had tried her hardest to get involved as much as she could with her charities. But when Elle became pregnant and after Arthur’s birth, the pace of things had to be slowed down due to the baby. Entrusting Rupert and Victoria to care for their grandchild while they travelled, the couple took the Royal helicopter, flew by Hector’s familiar face to Edinburgh. This would be the first time both of them would be staying at Hollyhood Palace and also their first time away from Arthur since his birth.

“ I know it’s just for a day, but it’s so hard to leave him behind. He’s still so tiny.”, said Elle, holding back tears as they boarded the helicopter on Kensington Palace’s lawn.

Harry smiled at her and held her close to him, squeezing her tightly and nodded his head. “ I know, love. We’ve barely even left and I already can’t wait to come back to him., he told her as they sat side by side.

“ And Sir Lancelot.”, she added smiling. Chuckling, he agreed with her. “ Yes, and Sir Lancelot.” Soon, they were flying over London on their way to Scotland, leaving their most treasured possession behind.

************

Meanwhile, another meeting was set between the Queen, her Privy Council and the Prime Minister to discuss the order of Succession. Harry had yet to made aware of such changes into the line. But Elizabeth had planned a meeting with him and Eleanor for as soon as they have returned from Scotland. Things needed to be solved and they needed to be solved quickly.

“ Thank you all for coming to this extraordinary meeting today. The issue at hand is the removal of Prince William, Duke of Cambridge and his heirs from the line of Succession of the United Kingdom. This issue has been previously discussed between all parties involved and has come to the attention of this Privy Council for approval and petition for effectiveness as soon as possible, per the Duke’s request.”, said the Prime Minister.

“ Thank you, Mr. Simmons.”, said the Queen. “ As you are all aware, my grandson, Prince William, has wished to leave the line of succession, something that hasn’t been done before. We, upon reflexion and much consideration, understand his reasons and have decided to grant that he wishes. And, although he, his wife and heirs shall still retain their titles and styles, they shall henceforth be removed from the succession of our United Kingdom of Great Britain, Northern Ireland and overseas territories. Therefore, the line will continue after the Prince of Wales, with his second heir Prince Henry, Duke of Sussex and his heirs.”, said the Queen, reading from the same a draft of the document who would be signed by all members of the Privy Council. And that, of course, included Harry. Until he returned, the final draft of the document would have to wait.

“ All those in agreement, say ‘aye’.”, said the Prime Minister. A resolute chorus of ‘I’s’ answered the question and the meeting was concluded. The only thing left to do to actually ratify the document was Harry’s consent and signature.

************

At the Royal Botanic Garden, Harry and Elle were met with great cheers from the crowd that was waiting for them. At the entrance, Elle was given a posy of thistles, Scotland’s national flower, by a very shy young boy. She knelled down close to him and smiled sweetly at him, whose cheeks turned a little red.

“ What’s your name, sweetie?”, she asked. Looking at his shoes, he quietly replied:

“ Jonathan.”. She smiled at him and thanked him by shaking his hand. She and Harry were led by a group of botanists and florists around the garden and were shown different flowers and native plants from Scotland and a few other places around the British isles, as well as some foreign ones.

“ And this, is the new variety of Mountain Avens which have been named the Eleanor in your honour, Your Royal Highness.”, said one of the botanists. Elle smiled and posed beside the white and yellow flower, taking her time to admire the different shades in its petals.

“ That about a flower named after me?”, joked Harry and the group laughed.

The took around half an hour to visit the entire garden, finally finishing at the entrance where Elle prepared to give a speech.

“ Thank you to the Royal Botanic Garden Edinburgh for having us here today. It’s a privilege to be able to witness the magnitude of the work done by all of you; from the gardeners to the botanists and scientists. My husband and I are thrilled to be see first hand how much effort and care is put into conservation and restoration of the natural floral of Scotland. A true gift not only to this nation but to the entire British Isles. Thank you.”, she said, finishing her speech. After the applauses and posed pictures, she unveiled a plaque in commemoration of their visit. Hand in hand, they waved their goodbyes to the public and made their way back to Hollyhood Palace.

With a free day to kill before they returned to Arthur, Lancelot and their lives in London, Harry and Elle explored a little of the surroundings. They actually took the time to go about the gardens and the ruins of the ancient chapel that once stood beside the palace. With Leo and Ingrid on their tails, they went about Edinburgh with little to no recognition, which was a breath of fresh air to them both. Once back in the castle, Elle drew herself a relaxing, lukewarm bath, dropped a bath bomb in it and set there, quietly enjoying the feeling of the water on her skin. As she started to doze off, she felt the water stir and was hastily awaken by Harry, who was splashing water everywhere trying to get into the tub as well.

“ Didn’t even bother to invite me, love? How rude…”, he said smirking, sitting close to her, their legs intertwined. Elle chuckled and leaned forward, kissing his cheek, gently caressing his face, soaping it with foamy water. She felt his hands on her waist, pulling her closer to him and she let Harry guide her to his lap. His lips ferociously attacked her neck, making her moan as her fingers roamed across his hair, neck and back, leaving faint red lines. He then lowered one of his hands to her inner thigh and slowly traced patterned over her skin, inching closer and closer to her core, teasing her to no end. His fingers were firm and dextrous, knowing exactly how to please her. She moaned in his ear, throwing her head back as he continued to kiss her neck.

“ Good, love?”, he asked ruskily. Her reply was another moan, followed by a series of passionate kisses that left him out of breath. Harry’s movement’s became more urgent only to stop when she was so close to the edge. Elle let out a whimper of discontent which made him smirk and gently press himself further against her. She gasped as he filled her, completely taken by the waves of pleasure she was feeling.

Their movements alternated from fast to slow, loving and raw… a rhythm they had long developed. Their swear mixed with the water as they climaxed over and over again. They stayed in the tub until the water ran cold, tangled in each other’s arms. Having the luxury of being away from their newborn gave them time to actually enjoy each other’s company, a much needed rest from the parenting they were still getting used to.

They barely had time to touch base in London before they had to leave for Windsor. Arthur’s christening was a few days away and the final preparations were at full speed. Family and guests had arrived and where received by the Queen, Prince Philip and the royal couple in question. Seeiso and Mabereng were thrilled to get to see the new addition to the family.

“ Oh he’s so precious!”, said Mabereng, as Arthur was passed from his mother’s arms to her awaiting ones.

“ And look at that patch of ginger hair… it’s obviously your child, my friend.”, said Seeiso to Harry, who chuckled.

“ Hey! I’ll have you know that his particular shade of ginger comes from my head, thank you very much.”, said Elle, making the men laugh.

“ Fair enough, point taken dear Eleanor. By the way, how’s being a mother treating you?”, he asked her, sitting beside his wife and gently brushing Arthur’s head. He had fallen asleep on Mabereng’s arms and was cutely making faces as he dreamed. Smiling to her infant son, she said:

“ It’s no easy I’ll tell you that. But it’s been so good, so rewarding. When I get to hold him, having his skin on mine and he’s cosy and warm against me. Or when he gives me that toothless smile and I know he recognises who I am… it’s so pure. It’s much more love than I thought I’d be able to feel.”

“ That’s about right…”, said Mabereng in agreement.

“ And you my friend? Is fatherhood all you dreamed of?”, asked Seeiso to Harry. Looking at Elle, they shared a smile and he nodded his head.

“ That and so much more…”, he said. “Specially when you share it with the right person.”, he continued, taking Elle’s hand into his.

“ So, worth the wait I take it?”, asked Seeiso.

“ So worth it.”, Harry replied, planting a kiss on Elle’s cheek.

************

The press was invited inside the grounds of Windsor Castle as well as part of the public. The barrier surrounding the Chapel of St. George was full of people carrying cameras, signs, toys and flowers. The guests were the first to arrive: Richard and Mary with little Rose; Eugenie and Jack, Beatrice and Prince Andrew, Sarah Chatto, her husband and children; Seeiso and Mabereng, Elle’s cousin, Michael, the Marquess of Lorne, her aunt, uncle and cousin from Scotland; Valerie and Elle’s brother, James; her parent’s; Charles and Camilla; William, Kate and the children, and then Queen and Prince Philip.

Finally, Elle and Harry came out of the Castle, with her carrying baby Arthur, who was dressed in the iconic christening gown, in her arms while he supported her by the waist as they walked down the path to the church. Dressed in a … dress with a matching fascinator, they stopped at the side entrance and greeted Elizabeth and Philip first, proceeded by the Archbishop of Canterbury. As the senior royals took their place inside the chapel, Elle and Harry waited with the Dean of St. George’s Chapel to begin their procession, along with the godparents.

Much like they had done at Rose’s christening, they walked in first towards the altar, carrying baby Arthur, while the godparents followed behind them. Elle then passed the baby to Mary, while Eugenie held the towel to dry the baby’s head.

“ Your Majesty, Your Royals Highnesses, Your Graces, ladies and gentlemen… Parents and Godparents, the Church receives this child with much joy. Today we are trusting God for his growth in faith. Will you pray for him, draw him by your example into the community of faith and walk with him in the way of Christ?”, asked the Archbishop.

“ With the help of God, we will.”, they replied in unison. The Archbishop lit a large candle and the service proceeded with prayers and blessings. They all gathered around the baptism fountain Seeiso then poured the water into it. Much like in Charlotte’s christening, the objects and regalia used in the royal ceremony were taken from the Tower of London and carefully transported to Windsor. The water itself, also like in every royal christening, came from the River Jordan. Mary then leaned Arthur forward, so the Archbishop could then pour the water over his head. The baby fussed a little but was soon soothed by the warm water.

“ Arthur Frederick David James, I baptise you in the name of Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.”, he said. Eugenie then carefully dried Arthur’s head with the towel while he cuddled closer to Mary. It was then Michael’s turn to lit the christening candle; the flame itself coming from the larger one.

“… shine as a light in the world to the glory of God.”, said the Archbishop, and thus the ceremony was complete. There were a few readings and hymns were sung. Family members and guests smiled and cried of joy as baby Arthur let out a giggle as he was returned to his mother’s arms. The bells rang loudly outside and you could hear the cheer of the public as little by little the royals and guests exited the church. At the very end came Elle and Harry, who was now carrying baby Arthur in his arms. Both smiling from ear to ear. Photos were taken as they made the walk back to the Castle for much needed food and refreshments.

But before they could actually dig in the said goodies, photos would have to be taken. So the couple posed with their family first, then with the baby’s godparents and finally just them and Arthur. Mario Testino was hired to take the christening pictures and for the ones with just the little family, they took things outside. In the quadrant courtyard the couple sat together on a wooden bench beneath a majesty oak tree and things just went naturally from there. The smiles and looks, Arthur’s little hands reaching for his parent’s, Elle and Harry’s heads close to one another as they watched Arthur babble. Very sweet and touching moments that would be recorded on their mind and on paper forever.

Once back inside, as per tradition, a piece of their wedding cake which had been frozen, was served to the guests, along with cordials, and heavier drinks such as whisky and brandy. Arthur enjoyed being coddle up and spoiled by his godparents as well as all the other guests who wanted to hold him and gift him something. George and Charlotte kissed and caressed their baby cousin’s head but soon were too bored and decided to play around the room. Valerie, who had the turn of holding Arthur made silly faces which made him giggle in return.

“ That’s such a sweet sound… I can listen to it all day long.”, she said to the beaming parents.

“ So when it’s the next one?”, asked James, winking.

“ Slow down there, James. I’ve just had this one. Let’s revisit this chat in a few years ok?”, said Elle, shaking her head.

“ A few years? I don’t think Harry there will be able to wait that long.”, joked James, smirking at his brother-in-law.

“ I think he can. And he will.”, replied Elle, now also looking at her husband, raising one eyebrow.

“ Whatever you say, little sister. But we all know you’ll have another one soon enough. You both want it… and we everybody knows that.”, retorted James.

“ We’ll see about that.”, said Elle humphing. Valerie chuckled and agreed with James, while Harry shook his head and planted a kiss on her temple. He then noticed Charles coming in his direction with a serious look on his face.

“ Harry, Eleanor dear, may I talk to you for a moment?”, he asked in almost a whisper. The couple looked at each other and nodded their heads, quickly excusing themselves from their small group. No one seemed to bother or notice the look on Charles’ face.

Elle and Harry then followed Charles to the Green Drawing Room, where Elizabeth, William and Kate were waiting for them. The couple looked a little surprised and suspicious at the odd gathering.

“ What’s going on?”, asked Harry to no one in particular.

“ Please, take a seat.”, said the Queen and they both sat in the semi circle of armed chairs.

“ I asked Charles to call you here due to a matter of the utmost urgency. The matter itself had been already solved but I do need to clarify a few things with you both and… and prepare you for what’s to come.”, said Elizabeth.

“ Granny, you’re scaring us. Please, what’s happening?”, said Harry. Elizabeth dismissed his plea and looked to William and Charles.

“ A few months ago, your brother called me asking to meet. He told me he had a very important matter to discuss with me. And as it turns out, he did. Having talked to your father fist, William came to me with his mind made up, only looking for my consent.”, continued Elizabeth.

“ Consent to what?”, asked Harry, getting irritated.

“ Consent to drop out of the succession line.”, said William. There was a pause. The room fell silent and no one said a word for what looked like an eternity.

“ Are you fucking kidding me?!”, said Harry, half shouting. He was in awe, disbelief and irritation covered his features. Elle didn’t know what to say. She ran her hand on Harry’s back in an attempt to sooth him. She then looked to William and Kate, who had their head bowed down.

“ What do you mean you’re dropping out of the line of succession? You can’t simply fo that!”, shouted Harry, now standing up and making his way towards William, only to be held back by Elle.

“ Darling please. Calm yourself. I’m sure there’s a very good explanation to all of this.”, said Elle, as calmly as she could. Sighing, Harry gave his brother a hateful look and plopped on the chair once again.

“ When Eleanor was kidnapped, Kate was hit by a bullet in amidst the crossfire.”, said William. Harry and Elle both looked alarmed and turned their faces to Kate, who shook her head.

“ I’m fine. It was just a flesh wound. Nothing too serious. We didn’t want to tell anyone or make a huge deal about it but… let’s say that was the last straw in an already very full barn.”, said Kate.

“ It wasn’t the first time out lives have got in the way of someone we love. Catherine suffered for most of our relationship with harassment and then kidnap threats and death notes came to our office not only against us, but also against out children. I’ve decided… we decided we had had enough of it. I talked to Pa then I went to granny and explained the whole situation for her…”, said William.

“ So you’re just dumping this on my plate? That’s it?”, said Harry, very irritated.

“ Oh let’s face it! You’re much better suited for this than I could ever be!”, said William. “ You’re a natural. A born leader. Even mother knew that!”, he continued.

“ Don’t you dare bring mother into this.”, said Harry angrily.

“ But it’s true. Everyone knows it, Harry. You’re just like her. You have a way with people that I could never ever dream of having. And it’s all you. It’s almost instinctive to you.”, continued William.

“And are you both ok with this?”, he asked Elizabeth and Charles.

“ As much as it pains me to say it, I am.”, said Charles.

“Unbelievable!”, exclaimed Harry. “ Granny?”, he asked the older woman. She sighed and was about to speak when Harry said:

“ Oh for fucks sake!”

“ As I was going to say, after much consideration, I agreed to your brother’s wishes. He’ll live as a private person, like your cousins Zara and Peter and will relinquish his royal duties and income. He’ll retain his title and styles as will Catherine and the children. He’ll resume his work as a helicopter rescue pilot in Wales, where they will reside for the time being.”, said Elizabeth. Harry sighed deeply, running his hands over his face and hair. Elle kept on soothing him with circular motions on his back. She was nowhere near calm herself. Her heart was pounding and she could feel a headache coming and settling in.

“ I know this is all too much to listen and to consider but as soon as the document is signed, the line of succession will fall to you and your heirs, Harry. Much like it happened to me.”, said Elizabeth. “ I was never to be the monarch, yet here I am.”, she continued.

“ We’ll be with you every step of the way. We’ll teach you everything you need to know about statesmanship, government, religion, cerimonial duties… you’ll have time to get used to it.”, said Charles and Elizabeth nodded her head in agreement.

“ Well… the decision has already been made, hasn’t it?”, he asked his grandmother, who nodded her head again.

“ Then I guess there’s nothing I can do about it.”, he replied. “ Just know this… it’s very selfish what you’re doing, William. I never expected that from you. Right now I can’t even talk to you, or look at you.”, said Harry, standing up, taking Elle’s hand in his own.

“ I understand.”, replied William.

“ Now, if you excuse us, my wife and I have guest to entertain. We’re going out there and we’ll enjoy our son’s christening party.”, he finished, taking Elle along with him and going out of the room with a loud bang.

“ Well… that went better than I had expected…”, said William.

“ He looked very calm… all things considered.”, said Kate and they all nodded their heads in agreement.

“ And that, my dear, is the very reason why I think he’ll make into a fine monarch one day.”, said Elizabeth.

************

Harry walked fast almost pulling Elle along. He rushed along the corridors and went to the quadrangular courtyard. He let go of her hand hand and walked into the grass, pacing from side to side, hands ever so often running through his face and hair.

“ Darling? Harry… talk to me….”, pleaded Elle.

“ How can they do this to me, huh?! TO US!”, he shouted.

“ I can’t do this. I can’t be king! It was never meant to be me! William was supposed to be the one on the throne! The one with the responsibilities and duties… NOT ME! And Kate was meant to be the Queen like my great grandmother was. Not you, my love. Never you. I don’t want to put that responsibility over your shoulders, my love. I… I can’t…”, said Harry, crumbling to the ground, sobbing. Elle rushed to him and embraced him.

“ Shhhh… it’s going to be okay, darling. You’ll see.”, she said. “ We’ve faced do much together, this is just another challenged in our way. We can do this. So long as we stand by each other.”, she continued.

“ I don’t think I can do it. I saw what that kind of life did to my mother… it destroyed her. I don’t want to it to destroy me… even less to do that to you… and Arthur… our little boy… look how much is already being thrusted onto him. I can’t Elle… it’s too much.”, he said, still sobbing.

“ We work this out. We’ll find a way.”, she kept repeating it. Not only to Harry but also to herself. What are we gonna do now?, she thought.

#FATES INTERTWINED #phff #prince harry fanfic #prince harry fanfiction #prince harry

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urwarriorangel · 6 years

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<3 urwarriorangel’s writing challenge <3

hello my darling angels! i have started a writing challenge because i want to read more of what you write. i’m calling this a challenge because that’s what i’ve read others call it? rules are listed below! all submissions will be read by yours truly and (if they follow the p basic rules) i will post them all on a masterlist! i will reblog them and give you feedback because that’s what should happen regardless and also i love you guys! (gif not mine!)

rules

*no rape/incest/underage sex/etc.

*if you choose to write smut, you must be 18+!!! the characters you’re writing for must be 18+!!

*must be character x reader! you can write for multiple characters, but it still must be a reader insert!

*it’s first come first serve for characters, meaning there are character limits. multiple people can write for the same character, but they are capped. so please message me as soon as you see a character you want to write for!

*only one prompt per fic! (bonus points if you use any of my original prompts lol!) (also prompts can only be used once)

*triggers must be tagged. if there are any triggers in your fic, you must have a trigger warning. i cannot emphasize this enough.

*fic should be at least 500 words, if it’s longer (which please make it as long as you’d like!) you have to add a ‘read more’

*must tag me in the fic and use # urwarriorangelwritingchallenge <3

*fic should be a new original, not an old piece being resubmitted or a part of an already existing series. (you can write a series for this challenge if you’d like!)

*bonus points if you’re a poc!writer with a poc!reader <3 <3 <3

*you must respect the sexuality of the character! if you would like for an lgbtq+ character, their sexuality should not change in the fic. thank you!

*please send me a message with the character(s) you’d like to write for and the prompt!

example: damon salvatore + “i don’t know how much longer i can go on”

~the masterlist will be posted on august 13th! (if this goes well aka if people participate i would love to do this more often!)~

categories allowed:

anything your heart desires. if you’re going to write fluff please keep it compelling! add a few different styles together! give me some angst, some smut. make it a mystery! i mean absolutely no disrespect to those who write/read only fluff, but personally i find fluff a little more fun when it’s got multiple components! (if you write only fluff, please go ahead and write fluff! i will read it and i’m sure i’ll love it! these are just my personal preferences!)

i love aus very much, so please don’t shy away from them!

characters & prompts under the cut!

characters (five slots for each character)

agents of shield

al mackenzie antoine “trip” triplett daisy “skye” johnson grant ward jemma simmons lance hunter leopold fitz lincoln campbell

brooklyn 99

amy santiago charles boyle gina linetti jake peralta raymond holt rosa diaz terrence jeffords

buffy the vampire slayer

angel buffy summers cordelia chase rupert giles william the bloody aka spike

criminal minds

aaron hotchner david rossi derek morgan elle greenaway emily prentiss jennifer jareau luke alvez penelope garcia spencer reid

defenders-ish

billy russo frank castle jessica jones luke cage matt murdock

friends

chandler bing joey tribbiani monica geller phoebe buffay rachel green ross geller

game of thrones

arya stark benjen stark daenerys targaryen eddard stark jaime lannister jon snow khal drogo robb stark samwell tarly sansa stark tyrion lannister

gossip girl

blair waldorf carter baizen chuck bass dan humphrey nate archibald serena van der woodsen vanessa abrams

harry potter

draco malfoy fred weasley george weasley harry potter hermione granger remus lupin ronald weasley sirius black (young) tom riddle

hawaii five-0

adam noshimuri chin ho kelly daniel williams kono kalakaua michael noshimuri steve mcgarrett

jane the virgin

adam alvaro jane gloriana villanueva petra solano rafael solano

lucky number slevin

slevin kelevra

mcu

bruce banner aka hulk brunnhilde aka my valkyrie queen bucky barnes aka winter soldier clint barton aka hawkeye drax aka the destroyer erik stevens aka killmonger gamora aka um need we say more? janet van dyne aka wasp loki aka loki m’baku aka you already know mantis aka mantis aka a fucking cutie may parker aka ailf nakia aka loml okoye aka incredible badass peggy carter aka kickass peter parker aka spider-man peter quill aka star-lord pietro maximoff aka quicksilver sam wilson aka falcon scott lang aka antman shuri aka an angel stephen strange aka dr. strange steve rogers aka captain america t’challa aka black panther thor aka thor tony stark aka iron-man wanda maximoff aka scarlet witch

new girl

coach nick miller

pretty little liars

aria montgomery caleb rivers emily fields ezra fitz hanna marin jason dilaurentis mona vanderwaal noel kahn spencer hastings wren kingston

reign

francis mary stuart nostradamus sebastian

riverdale

archie andrews betty cooper cheryl blossom fangs fogarty fp jones fred andrews jason blossom josie mccoy jughead jones kevin keller malachai charles!reggie mantle ross!reggie mantle sweet pea toni topaz valerie brown veronica lodge

shadowhunters

alec lightwood clary fray isabelle lightwood jace herondale lucian grey magnus bane simon lewis

teen wolf

allison argent chris argent cora hale derek hale isaac lahey jackson whittermore jordan parrish kira yukimura liam dunbar lydia martin malia tate peter hale scott mccall stiles stilinski theo raeken

the 100

bellamy blake clarke griffin echo finn collins jasper jordan john murphy king roan lexa lincoln monty green nathan miller octavia blake ontari raven reyes wells jaha

the originals

davina claire elijah mikaelson freya mikaelson hayley marshall kol mikaelson lucian castle niklaus mikaelson marcel gerard rebekah mikaelson

the vampire diaries

bonnie bennett caroline forbes damon salvatore elena gilbert jeremy gilbert katherine pierce malachi parker mary louise matt donovan nora hildegard olivia parker tyler lockwood stefan salvatore sybil

x-men

alex summers aka havok charles xavier aka young!professor x erik lehnsherr aka magneto hank mccoy aka beast jean grey aka phoenix logan aka wolverine peter maximoff aka quiksilver ororo monroe aka storm raven darkholme aka mystique

prompts (once someone requests a prompt, i will update the list! list will be updated once a day, if multiple people ask for a prompt in between updates, i will give it to the first person who sent me an ask. i realize that there are more character options than there are prompts, i did this because i don’t think too many people will participate. if we ever run out, i will add more prompts! example of request: klaus mikaelson + “give me a chance”)

(rfaimagining)

angst

1: “ give me a chance. ”

2: “ not you again.. ”

3: “ leave me alone. ”

4: “ i don’t love you anymore. ”

5: “ why do you hate me? ”

6: “ i lost the baby. ”

7: “ i thought you loved me. ”

8: “ i don’t need you anymore. ”

9:“ i can’t believe you! ”

10: “ we can't keep this up forever. ”

11: “ you’re a monster. ”

12: “ i hate you. ”

13: “ don’t leave me… ”

14: “ you’re a disappointment. ”

15: “ don’t die on me– please. ”

16: “ i never meant to hurt you. ”

17: “ are you upset with me? ”

18: “ i wish i’d never met you. ”

19: “ i’m going to kill you! ”

20: “ please don’t hurt me like this. ”

21: “ thanks for nothing. ”

22: “ dont call this number again. “

23: “ why did you spare me? ”

24: “ you need to leave. ”

25: “ i’m sick. ”

26: “ i’m dying. ”

27: “ i wish i’d never met you. ”

28: “ i thought we were family!”

29: “ there was never an us. ”

30: “ so that’s it? it’s over? ”

31: “ i fucked up. ”

32: “ i came to say goodbye. ”

33:“ he’s dead because of you. ”

34: “ i don’t deserve to be loved. ”

35: “ about the baby… its yours. ”

love

36: “ i’m so in love with you. ”

37: “ dance with me! ”

38: “ isn’t this amazing? ”

39: “ i wish we could stay like this forever. ”

40: “ will you marry me? ”

41: “ i’m pregnant. ”

42: “ i need a hug. ”

43: “ you’re special to me. ”

44: “ i’m going to keep you safe. ”

45: “ do you trust me? ”

46: “ can i kiss you right now? ”

47: “ you’re cute when you’re angry. ”

48: “ i’ve liked you for awhile now. ”

49: “ let’s have a baby. ”

50: “ we’d make such a cute couple. ”

51: “ i want to take care of you. ”

52: “ can we cuddle? ”

53: “ it’s lonely here without you. ”

54: “ i can’t stand the thought of losing you. ”

55: “ shut up and kiss me already. ”

56: “ are you flirting with me? ”

57: “ is that my shirt? ”

58: “ how did we get here? ”

59: “ you own my heart. ”

60: “ you’d be a great dad. ”

61: “ you’d be a great mom. ”

62: “ i want to protect you. ”

63: “ what's the matter? ”

64: “ you’re so beautiful. ”

65: “ did you do something different with your hair? ”

66: “ is that a new perfume? ”

67: “ stop being so cute. ”

68: “ you’re making me blush! ”

69: “ you’re teasing me again… ”

70: “ this is why i fell in love with you. ”

71: “ you’re the best! ”

72: “ they’re going to love you, don’t worry! ”

73: “ oh, are you ticklish? ”

74: “ of course i remembered! ”

75: “ you’re one hell of a girl. ”

76: “ you’re one hell of a guy. ”

77: “ are you jealous? ”

78: “ hold me and never let me go. ”

79: “ stop hogging all the blankets! ”

80: “ lets run away together. ”

misc

90: “ catch me if you can! ”

91: “ i’m fine. ”

92: “ are you drunk? ”

93: “ are you high? ”

94: “ we can't go in there… ”

95: “ give it back! ”

96: “ well this is just great. ”

97: “ don’t touch me. ”

98: “ not sure if you could tell, but i’m not exactly a people person. ”

99: “ this was fun— let's do it again sometime!”

100: “ i didn’t do it! ”

101: “ i did it… ”

102: “ i don’t remember that! ”

103: “ well that’s pretty rude of you to say. ”

104: “ get that thing away from me! ”

105: “ you owe me. ”

106: “ do you believe in aliens? ”

107: “ do you believe in ghosts? ”

108: “ are you hitting on me? ”

109: “ why are you naked? ”

110: “ you did what?! ”

111: “ you have… superpowers? ”

112: “ why are you bleeding? ”

113: “ where did all these puppies come from?”

114: “ don’t make me come over there myself! ”

115: “ that wasn’t funny. ”

116: “ this tastes horrible. ”

117: “ this is delicious! ”

118: “ are you mad at me? ”

119: “ stop ignoring me… ”

120: “ i love that show too! ”

121: “ can i borrow that book of yours?”

122: “ let's blow this joint. ”

123: “ let me help you with that. ”

124: “ take that back! ”

125: “ wanna go see a movie with me? ”

126: “ no way, that’s so lame. ”

127: “ what are you listening to? ”

128: “ i brought you your coffee. ”

129: “ don’t fuck this up. ”

130: “ run! ”

131: “ lets run away together. ”

132: “ i haven’t slept in four days… ”

133: “ your turn to do the dishes. ”

134: “ was i really that drunk? ”

135: “ was i really that stoned? ”

136: “give me back my phone! ”

137: “ you’re an asshole. ”

138: “ are you cold? ”

139: “ this place gives me the creeps. ”

140: “ i swear my house is haunted. ”

141: “ did you hear that? ”

142: “ it’s just your imagination. ”

143: “ just how stupid do you think i am? ”

144: “ stop being such a baby. ”

145: “ go back to bed. ”

146: “ are you okay? ”

147: “ i can take care of myself just fine.”

148: “ thanks for helping me back there. ”

149: “ since when have we ever been friends? ”

150: “ what on earth are you wearing? ”

151: “ i can’t feel my legs! ”

152: “ stop texting me weird stuff so late at night. ”

153: “ put me down! ”

154: “ there’s only one bed… ”

155: “ it isn’t what it looks like! okay.. maybe it is… ”

156: “ how did i lose it? ”

157: “ i read your diary. ”

158: “ this is awkward. ”

159: “ didn’t you read the sign? ”

160: “ do you think you can teach me that? ”

nsfw

161: “ bite me. ”

162: “ make me. ”

163: “ fuck me. ”

164: “ stop teasing me so much… ”

165: “ do you like it when i touch you like that?”

166: “ okay.. this is new. ”

167: “ want to head back to my place and have a little fun? ”

168: “ you’re in trouble now. ”

169: “ what a pretty sight. ”

170: “ bend over. ”

171: “ on your knees. ”

172: “ the food looks great but.. there’s something much more delicious i’d like to eat right now. ”

173: “ lay back. ”

174: “ take off your clothes. ”

175: “ well, fine; just this once. ”

176: “ i’m waiting. ”

177: “ you’re so beautiful. ”

178:“ as you wish. ”

179: “ first one to make a noise loses.”

180: “ you have no idea what you do to me. ”

181: “ if you’re bored; wanna have sex? ”

182: “ i've wanted this for so long. ”

183: “ car sex looks so much more easier in the movies. ”

184: “ can i touch you? ”

185: “ open up. ”

186: “ no strings attached. ”

187: “ already? do i really have that much of an effect on you? ”

188: “ mine. ”

189: “ the nights still young. ”

190: “ we can't do that here! ”

191: “ behave. ”

192:“ what did you just say? ”

193: “ good girl. ”

194: “ good boy. ”

195: “ come here. ”

continued nsfw from misc sources

196: “are you going to come here, or are you going to make me come get you myself?”

197: “don’t look at me like that, you brought this on yourself.”

198: “stay still, squirming will make it worse.”

199: “keep count. if you lose it, we’re starting over. understand?”

200: “go get me the cane.”

201: “take your shirt off and put your hands up against the wall.”

202: “open your mouth. i’m putting the gag in so your screaming won’t alarm someone.”

203: “did you disobey my orders?”

204: “i thought i told you not to touch that?”

205: “have you finished everything i told you to do?”

206: “if you don’t stop acting like this, i’ll be forced to use different tactics.”

207: “your skin turns so red under my palm.”

208: “bend over the back of the couch.”

209: “you might want to bite something, the whip has a bite to it.”

210: “come here and bend over my lap.”

211: “i’m tired of your smart mouth.”

212: “you’re really hot.”

213: “oh, don’t mind me. just enjoying the view.”

214: “you know, those/that ______ of yours are/is pretty distracting.”

215: “hot damn.”

216: “so, you come here often?”

217: “well, well. my night just got better.”

218: “is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

219: “you have got a great ass.”

220: “hey, i’m open minded.”

221: “you enjoying the view over there?”

222: “keep sweet-talking and this could go a whole new direction.”

223: “don’t be bashful. you know you want to.”

224: “you can have me any way you’d like, baby.”

225: “you wanna move this conversation someplace more private?”

226: “i’m off in a few minutes, you know.”

227:“it’s been a long day. why don’t we help each other unwind?”

228: “i think it’s about time we stop avoiding the obvious.”

229: “i’m gonna be honest with you. i’m really horny, and you’re really hot. can we fuck? like, now?”

230: “i wanna see you get naked.”

231: “you like how i bend over for you, huh?”

232: “you’re getting me all worked up.”

233: “what do we have here?”

234: "i see someone’s happy to see me.”

235: “play your cards right, and i just might have to put you on speed dial.”

236: “you like that, don’t you?”

237: “how do you want me?”

238: “i’m sure we can put those lips to better use.”

239: “i want you. right here. right now.”

240: “god, you’re perfect.”

241: “i really like a man who’s good with his hands.”

242: “i’d be more than happy to show you a good time, if you’re looking for one.”

243: “i saw that. you just checked me out.”

244: “you look real good in that suit/dress/skirt/outfit.”

245: “you wanna help me out of this ___?” (insert article clothing here.)

246: “can i keep you?”

247: “you’re such a tease.”

248: “oh my, looks like i/you dropped something.”

249: “i love it when you talk dirty.”

250: “i can’t stop thinking about your hands on me.”

251: “i think you’ll be happy to know that i’m not wearing any underwear.”

252: “i really want to take you home and get you out of all those clothes.”

253: “it’s like you want to ruin men/women for me.”

#urwarriorangelswritingchallenge

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merlinthoughts · 5 years

Text

Season 1 Episode 2 - Valiant

- ik for a fact that this one is the episode with the asshhoole. not bc i recognised it from the title but perhaps it was because i recognised it from the title u got me there

- i always go to mr clean too when i want protection, val, ur not alone

- yeah, this is harry potter l ma o

- the next thing u know theres a stone that makes arthur live forever and the snakes start joining into one and growing bigger until a phoenix (im dibbing on kilgie here), pops their corneas out

- DAMN DON'T KILL UR DEALER WHERE U GONNA GET THE NEW SHIT FROM NEXT TIME SMH VALIANT

- okay but who names their son valiant

- he was probably named valerie and didnt like it so he said “woah imma be valiant like courage, thats sick”

- that was probably his superhero persona as a child ngl

- no, shev, no respect for val stop doing this

- merlin in armour, what a fucking bLESiSNG GIVING ME THIS RIGHT ON THE SPOT BBC KNOWS WHATS GOOD

- ok a y but hear me out, merlins a servant. i have not seen any of these servants been asked to train with the royals??? like in the sense where it helps the servant train as well?? and the FIRST thing arthur does with merlin as his servant is train with him. not only is arthur a huge JOCK, he’s not using his manservant properly

- neverfuckingmind “most servants collapse after the first blow”, so it seems to be arthur likes to train with his servants. now that in itself is a question to be asked, but is he the only royal who trains with his servants??? how did this man survive on his own without a personal servant until merlin??? did he have a personal servant??? was it just regular servants?? who are those other servants he trained with??? did arthur just say hey lets go to the field in the morning, put on armour and let’s have a fun time?? UNLESS merlin literally just took someones job away from them kmao

- also my mind went right to the gutter guys, ngl, it sounded like an innuendo. it had me quaking i wish i was one of those servants

- “we all have our duties, even arthur” “it must be so tough for him, all the *hesitates* girl, all the glory”

- so we probably get at least 1 out of every 2 episodes where there’s a scene with merlin dressing arthur in his armour. bring the popcorn, lads.

- MORGANA LOOKING LIKE A FRICKEN SNACK

- the reigning champion is arthur, wonder fucking w h y

- valiant is in fucking mustard, while arthur is fucking ketchup idk why i thought of that but it happened. my literature teacher always told me to look for symbolisms. guess we found one guys.

- merlin after hating on arthur for the past episode is literally just cheering arthur on like a good husband he is

- did ARTHUR JUST SNICKER AT MERLINS “CREEP” LMAO DON'T TRY AND HIDE IT BY HUFFING AT HIM AFTERWARDS YOU FUCKING GOOF

- omg he hid it by telling merlin to do a full novel of chores

- AND MERLIN DOES IT WITH MAGIC A PAIR OF GOOFS

- “are you using magic again” “no” merlin ffs he just saw you use magic, while the items fell and landed right in front of him while you didn’t move at aLL. they are nOT BLIND

- “very aggressive style” I MEAN SURE UTHER

- valerie be fuckboying morgana lmao with a “i saw you watching” and a, “then i will give everything to win the tournament”

- i wish this show was set in the early 2000s so i can see val in low sweatpants, a backwards cap with gelled spiky hair and cheap neon sunglasses (maybe even some gold teeth just for kicks), while hes trying to rap 50 cents or make a mixtape of brit pop songs. bc yes.

- honestly im loving my 2000 fuckboy au. gonna make an ao3 after this.

- of course merlin would be the one to find out the magic shit in valiants room, it just lures him. AND OF COURSE VALIANT IS THERE

- i'm so fucking glad arthur looks confused as to how merlin did what he asked. when u have this kind of hubby, arthur, its amazing what things he can do.

- i dont know why theres dramatic music as merlin put armour on arthur but im living for it

- “is it my imagination or are you beginning to enjoy yourself?” merlin doesn't know what to say to that bc he’s turning gay and doesn't know if that counts as enjoying oneself when the one you are gay for is the asshole prince

- typically enough, valiant and arthur never fight except for the finale. like with all conveniences in place, youd expect them to have at least fought at some point with as much knights as there to determine the final two but no, just the finale. k.

- this poor fucking purple knighted bloke didn’t need to be fucking demonstrated on, val. like you didn't need to kill him?? that could have blown ur cover

- DID NOBODY SEE THAT??? DID NOBODY SEE THE FUCKING SNAKES???

- oooh merlin found out what happened everyone gonna be fucked. nobody harms arthur is he has something to say about it

- if someone starts off a sentence with “i just saw someones snakes on their shield come alive” nobody would fucking believe you, merls. but given the fact that magic exist… mhh maybe it wouldn’t be too absurd. but ppl apparently are thick as hell

- “why were you in his chambers” well i know how id explain if i was in valiants chambers ;)

- jk i dont fall for this toxic shit

- imagine getting paid as an actor just just lie down there like this poisoned kid. “yeah, id like to audition for ewan’s role???” “why are you lying on the ground?”

- i hate those tropes where it's like “i know how to tell someones bad, here’s proof” and then nobody believes you and tells you you’re lying and should die or whatever but then you kNOW IT'S THE FUCKIN TRUTH BITCH that trope gives me damn anxiety >:((

- yes merlin, fucking slash the shield with your sword. i'm sure that's how it works. im sure it will kill the snakes.

- HOWA RE THE SNAKES ALIVE WITHOUT VAL SAYING “ISHNAHASHAHI”

- i think val would know that you cut off the snake’s head, merls, just saying. ur were the oNLY ONE.

- TELL ARTHUR WHAT??? “I CUT A SNAKE”

- EXACLTY ONG THAT'S WHAT MERLIN FUCKING SAID I WAS RIGHT LMAO

- ARTHUR BELEIVED HIM I'M FUCKING LIVING BUT IK WHAT HAPPENS AND AHH

- uhhh the anxiety is rolling up boys

- ewan is mcfuckingdead

- snake be sliding in like a hoe on a business

- bfehfjdjfskf i hate this part

- arthur's pride, merlin’s pride, fuck me

- i'm not even gonna write this part, it breaks my fragile heart when arthur sees the look of people not believing him, especially his dad, and merlin seeing how arthur doesn't trust him anymore like prepare the eulogies girlies

- okay but if arthur is struck and gaius has the antidote?? arthur aint gonna die technically

- but now val knows merlin knows

- AND MERLIN INTERVENES

- why are royals so bitchy towards servants. like they do their best to help you??? they are loyal to you and are paid there to serve you and are often very kind, generous, passive, understanding people??? yet merlin interrupts uther and he fucking sends him to the pit

- VAL YOU ASS LMAO DON'T HURT MY SON’S PRIDE

- he said allegations like four times, yes uther we know ur vocab is shining with intellect but seriously, there’s other synonyms that could still be acceptable and still sound fancy

- quick search on google bc my mind doesnt roll fast enough: claim, assertion, charge, accusation, declaration, statement, contention, deposition, argument, affirmation. see daddy uther, not hard to look up.

- forget they didnt have internet whoopsies

- :((( arthur doesn't trust merlin anymore

- the husbands FIGHT

- not just a banter petty fight, this is a huge fight

- SACKING MERLIN DON'T FUCKING SACK MERLIN YOU GOOF

- TRUST UR HUBBY

- FUCK

- I'M GONNA CRY AND IT'S ONLY EPISODE TWO

- I'M HAVING EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS CONCERNING MY TWO BOYS

- GUYS IM NOT OKAy

- its been 2 minutes after i wrote that last sentence, and i am now okay

- “a half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole” iconic as hell. so many things could be said about that quote. either for innuendo purposes, love purposes, destiny purposes, how long it took me to say it right, just so many purposes man. it’s just iconic.

- merlin looks absolutely done with kilgaharama’s shit

- “just give me a straight answer” seems like kilgarass here is being too gay for merlin

- gwen already knows merlin’s the heroin of the series, saying everyone knows it's merlin who will save the day. but same tbh

- i dunno if this is like me or not but it says her nickname is gwyn in the subtitles but im typing it as gwen which i thought was how u wrote it, even if her full name is gwynevere but like gwen has a ring to it while gwyn sounds like gwin or smth and i dunno which one is right so ill just leave it alone ahjsjfk

- MORGANA HAS VISIONS WE ALREADY KNOW WHERE THIS GOES SHES MAGIC ISNT SHE HAHAHAHAUHD

- merlin trying one last time to convince his husband not to die, but at least this time arthur knows he’s up for val’s magic and is like “k iloveyou but i have to do this for the country not just bc of pride and thinking val is not magic”

- staring into the fire like he’s hoping it would suck him up into the void, not only is merlin a now confirmed emo, so is fucking arthur it seems. perfect for one another i'm telling you

- eerie music as morgana enters… wha suddenly i can't read

- i thought at first morgana and arthur were gonna end up together cause of the fucking weird tension going on and i was prepared to be disfuckinggusted but no! the show and producers actually put my expectations away and helped me see that it wasn’t going in that direction! thank fucking god!

- k but arthur looks majestic in his gear im just a huge bi

- “don’t go into my room” he says then gaius peaks in and almost gets mauled by a large chihuahua

- me too val, id step on someone's toes then fuck them up with an undercut. thats the bad bitch way to go. unless it for arthur, then val hahaha you can go fuck yourself

- no one sees mErLin??

- but they now see the snakes smh fakes

- “what are you doing? i didn't summon you” i don't think that will work val cause you didn't say it with a serpent tongue, it has to sound more like “shhashhwhat ahhssare hiisssyou iisshhaadoing?”

- okay but i thought arthur was impaled for a half second until he started to talk then i screamed that he was aight and he would now believe merlin

- uther better give merlin an apology

- arthur just said he wouldnt

- but still uther BETTER APOLOGISE TO FUCKING MERLIN

- “yknow i wish valiant was escorting me” “me too” i thought for a fricken moment arthur wished valiant would have escorted HIM. i'm dying.OMG

- “i wanted to say i made a mistake. it was unfair to sack you.” “don’t worry about it. buy me a drink and we’ll call it even.” DID YOU JUST SAY WHAT I THINK YOU JUST SAID MERLIN YOU SLY DOG OMG

- “i can’t really be seen to be buying drinks for my servant.” so if he wasn’t ur servant?? you’d say yes?? they are so fucking gay i can't anymore

- yeah, i literally fucking can't

#merlin #merlin bbc #merthur #s1 #this is early bc well it was already written #peeps up for the next one boys #tho its not done #expect it in a few days oop #s1.2

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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years

Text

VALERIE - Part IX. (Harry Styles)

yall are gonna hate me for this but it needed to be done IM SORRY! also, i can’t believe valerie is ending this week, just one more part to go! can’twait to read your reactions and thoughts on this part, even though i know yall gonna be upset lmao

word count: 5.6k

SERIES MASTERPOST

masterlist

Some days it truly feels like the universe has plotted against you to make every possible thing go wrong. As if it wants to see just how much you can take before breaking, experiment how long it can dance on your nerves before you end up one of those crazy people who shout at random strangers on the bus for no actual reason.

Starting the day you overslept awfully leaving you only ten minutes before you had to leave. In your hurry you ended up putting on socks that do not match and you were forced to buy a sandwich on your way as breakfast, but you promised you wouldn’t buy packed sandwiches for a reason, this one tasted like it’s been sitting on the shelf for weeks. Maybe it really has been.

You made it to work successfully, but then you realized that you’ve left your notebook at home, the one that had quite a lot of important information you need for your work, so you spent your first hour at work emailing different people for things you should now, explaining that you just left your notebook at home. Some didn’t really give a fuck and just answered you normally, but others didn’t shy away from commenting that you should be more responsible and careful.

This alone gave just the perfect foundation for the day. It was all downhill from then. Your boss loaded twice as much work on you than usually, everything with close deadlines, throwing even more anxiety into the mix as if you didn’t have enough already.

You met up with Marcus at lunch, but that didn’t go as planned either. It’s been getting more and more frustrating with him, the two of you have already had at least five fights this week and it’s only wednesday. It seems like even the smallest things push you over the edge these days and you easily pick a fight over anything. It didn’t happen differently this time either and by the time you got back to the office you were fuming. Worst part is that you always have a hard time ending a fight and tend to continue it through texts, the same thing happened today as well.

Now it’s a few minutes past five and you’re getting ready to go home, get changed and head to family dinner since today is Valerie’s first birthday, but even on the bus you’re still furiously typing away on your phone, sending a reply to Marcus, wanting nothing more than to throw the device right ot the window.

At one point you decide you’ve had enough. Turning your phone off you sink it into the depth of your bag and just try to focus on breathing, because even the smallest things seem to be hard tasks in such an upsetting state of mind.

These past few weeks things have taken an absurdly wrong turn between you and Marcus and you don’t know what to do about the whole situation. Every night you go to bed thinking that you should just let go of him, would do a favor for the both of you, but then that stupid little voice in the back of your mind tells you that if you break up with Marcus it’s game over for you, you’ll spend the rest of your life alone. It all ends up with you violently holding onto the pieces of what’s left from your relationship and you’ve been trying to figure out where it went wrong, but you have absolutely no idea.

After you changed into a pair of light washed jeans, a bright orange sweater and your black leather jacket it’s time for you to leave, though you already know you’ll be late. With a sigh deep you decided to turn your phone back on when you were sitting in the Uber, immediately deleting the notifications about the messages Marcus left you and going straight for the few ones from Rosa, your mom and Harry. They all arrived not too long ago asking when you’d be arriving, so you quickly typed your sorry and told them you’re on your way, you just got caught up at work. For Harry, you add something else too:

“Save me a seat and order me a tequila.”

His response came quickly.

“Done. Both.”

You let out a chuckle seeing his message. He knows you too well.

Walking into the small restaurant you don’t have a hard time spotting your family, three tables have been pushed together to make enough room in the back, taking up the small, kind of separated area of the place. Rosa smiles widely when she spots you, Valerie standing on her thighs, hands on the table as she is trying to snatch one of the glasses away, but her dad is pushing it further from her grasp.

“Sorry for being late,” you huff out and take the seat right next to Harry who watches you with a smile. “Well hello there, birthday girl! You’re so big now!” you babble at Valerie who giggles at you before her attention is averted once again.

You feel Harry’s elbow poking your side and turning to him you see him nod at the two shots on the table.

“Oh, fantastic. You’re drinking too?”

“No, I’m driving. Both for you.”

“If I didn’t have such a shitty day I would question what kind of alcoholic you think I am, but I kinda need both,” you sigh, taking the first one and downing it faster than ever. From the corner of your eyes you see your mother’s disapproving look, but you decide to ignore it for now.

“Wanna talk about it?” Harry asks, eyebrows furrowed in worry, but you shake your head, the alcohol still burning your throat.

“Not now. Can you give me a lift home tho?”

“Sure,” he nods, turning back to the conversation at the table.

You somehow succeed in putting everything that happened today behind and just focus on the time spent with your family. It helps that seemingly Harry works hard all evening to tell you about random things, just occupying your thoughts as much as he can. It’s nice to relax a little and forget everything that’s been weighing down on your shoulders recently.

“It’s so crazy she is one already,” you sigh when you and Harry are walking to his car.

“Right? It makes me feel incredibly old,” Harry huffs as he fishes his car keys out of his pocket.

“How old are you even?” you ask laughing, realizing you don’t even know how old he exactly is. There are quite a few things, small details you’ve just never gotten around to find out about Harry.

“I’m turning 27 in February. Wild, isn’t it?” he chuckles.

“Yeah, you’re basically a grandpa,” you tease him and he narrows his eyes at you, but you can’t miss the little smile hiding in the corners of his mouth.

“That makes you a grandma, because you’re turning 25 in April, don’t you?”

“You know when my birthday is?” It takes you by surprise, you don’t remember ever telling him when your birthday is.

The two of you reach his car and he clears his throat unlocking it. Seems like he doesn’t really want to answer, but your burning gaze on him kind of forces him into it.

“Uh, I do. I wanted to meet up with Steven last year the day you had your birthday party, but he said he had plans already. Tried to lure him into cancelling, but he didn’t even want to share where he was going. Then he admitted that it was your birthday party, but you told him and Rosa not to even mention it to me so I don’t show up.”

Your stomach drops hearing his version of a story you’ve only known from your own point of view. You remember that you indeed told them not to tell Harry about it, but now it seems like such a hate crime, when in real life, it was still when the two of you hated each other with passion.

“I’m… Harry I’m sorry. That was--”

“Don’t worry about it,” he smiles at you, starting the car. “We left it all behind, didn’t we?”

His smile seems genuine, but you still feel guilty for being such a bitch. It reminded you how much time and energy the two of you wasted for years hating each other when you could have been just like you are now. If only things happened in a different way…

Arriving at your building Harry parks the car and stops it. As the engine stops, the silence that’s been thickening the air just becomes even more obvious. He is waiting for you to say something about what’s gotten you so upset today, you know that, but you don’t feel like sitting around in his car.

“Want to come up for a little bit?” you ask and it’s a hidden message that you want to talk in the comfort of your own home. Luckily, Harry understands it right away and nodding he tells you to lead the way.

You make some tea and the two of you sit on your couch, Harry is sitting sideways so he can see you while you bring your knees up to your chest, staring down at the mug in your hands.

“I had a fight with Marcus,” you quietly start.

“Oh.”

“And… it wasn’t the first time. We’ve been constantly fighting lately and I’m just… so tired of it.”

Saying it out loud for the first time, having someone listen to you brings you an odd sense of relief, and it doesn’t feel weird that you’re talking to Harry about all of it. He has proven himself to be a great listener.

“We’ve been fighting constantly, over the smallest things and my… my patience is running short, at this point.”

You’re talking slowly, carefully putting your thoughts into words, trying your best to interpret them for Harry after boiling them only in your own head for so long.

“I just… I have no idea what I should do.”

“It seems like the relationship is not making you happy anymore,” Harry softly speaks up and you have nothing to bring up against what he just said. “So why are you trying to continue it?”

You were expecting the question, you just knew he would ask it, but it still brings a painful, stinging sensation into your chest as you try to find the words to answer him.

“Because…” you breath out and slowly turning your head, your eyes meet his gaze. “If I can’t make it work with him… then… who is it gonna be? There’s this voice in my head that keeps telling me, that he is literally my last choice, that if I mess this up it’s gonna be over for me.”

“Y/N, you know that’s not true,” Harry tells you tilting his head.

“Do I?” you chuckle bitterly, turning your gaze to the ceiling before you look back at him. “Because I don’t think I do. I’ve been literally feeling so miserable for weeks, yet I still can’t get me to move on, because I think I’m gonna die alone.”

“That’s not gonna happen, don’t say that. You’ll find the right person for you, you just… have to be patient.”

“But that’s the thing. I have lost my patience. I’m done, over it.” The tears form in your eyes in just a few seconds and the next thing you know is that you’re crying. “I’ve been trying so hard in my whole life, but somehow I always ended up… not being enough, or thrown away, stepped over, left behind. No matter what I did, I always ended up alone and I can’t help but notice a pattern in it. It has to be me, what else?”

“It’s not you, okay? You just had a few bad experiences.”

“Not a few,” you huff closing your eyes. “All of them are bad. I was… I was never enough for anyone and now that I found a guy that seemed to be just perfect… I’m ruining it.”

“I don’t think you’re ruining anything.”

“Then explain to me what’s happening, Harry!” you snap in despair and Harry stares back at you at a loss of words at first.

“Do you have feelings for him?” he then asks. You can’t answer right away and it tells him a lot.

“I… I’m not sure.”

“That sounded more like a no.”

“Okay, alright. No, I don’t. But… I could develop feelings eventually, couldn’t I?”

“That’s not how it works, Y/N. You can’t just torture yourself hoping that one day you wake up and you’ll be in love with him. It’s not gonna happen and you’re just wasting your time.”

“How do you know it’s not gonna happen? What makes you so sure of that I will not end up alone?”

Harry stays quiet, her green eyes are staring right into your soul and for a moment you forget about your misery. This man alone holds such a power over you, it’s starting to scare you.

“I know it, because… I know you. And I see you. You’re literally the funniest girl I know, so easy to talk with, you always know when to crack a joke and when you have to be serious. You have so much love for others, you care about your loved ones and you’re always there for your friends and family. You make it so easy for others to get comfortable around you and you make everyone feel safe around you.”

You listen to him intently, drinking up every word that leaves his lips. Harry looks down at his hands as he continues.

“And you’re beautiful. So fucking beautiful, it always baffles me when I see you.”

“What?” you breathe out.

“It’s the truth,” Harry chuckles lightly, he brushes his knuckles together nervously. “Every time you walk in, you just… make everyone turn their head at you, and I always wonder if you even notice that. The way you walk, your smile, your laugh, Y/N, you make every man go crazy about you.”

“You’re just saying that because you are trying to cheer me up,” you sniff, wiping a few more tears away from your eyes.

“I’m definitely not,” he chuckles and his eyes finally find yours. “I remember when we first met.”

“When you walked in on me changing,” you sigh, the memories living vividly in your mind.

“Yeah. I remember how… breathless I felt when I saw you standing there, your dress handing a little on your frame because of the zipper. I forgot my name for a moment. I offered to help with the zipper because I just… wanted to touch you in any kind of way. So I knew that you were real.”

“Harry…”

“I know this sounds made up, but I’m telling you, this is the truth. And I know I didn’t act like that for a long time, but I always thought that you were an amazing person and I know that any guy would be so lucky and incredibly happy to be with you. I hate the thought of you thinking otherwise of yourself, when you are literally such a delight and… just a gift to all of us. I don’t know what’s really been going on between you and Marcus, but if he can’t see your worth and can’t make you feel like you deserve… he is not worthy of your time.”

You feel your throat closing up, but you’re not sure Harry knows the reason behind it when the tears start rolling down your cheeks again.

Because it might look like his words touched you and made you tear up, but in reality, a bittersweet feeling has taken completely over you. If this is how he thinks about you, why did he act like that when he had the chance to be with you? Why didn’t he want you to stay? What did you do that made him want to throw you out?

It’s a spiral straight down and you can’t stop yourself from falling. Harry has always been the biggest mystery of your life, and now you’re just even more sure it was something you did or said that made him want to run.

He reaches out and easily scoops you into his arms and you let him hold you tight, face buried into his chest. You hold onto his shirt as the silent cries escape your lips. You want him to want you. You want him to mean all those things he just told you, but you just can’t seem to move on from the past even though you’ve agreed to forget about it. It keeps bugging you in the back of your mind that no matter what he says, you weren’t good enough to make him want to stay with you when he had the chance.

***

It doesn’t get better after that night. Harry stayed until after midnight, made sure you got into bed and told you he’ll check in on you the next day. And so he did.

You felt guilty for loading all of it on Harry, so you decided it was the last time you ever talked about Marcus or your love life in general with him. You easily made yourself believe that he didn’t really care about it and he just listened to you because he was trying to be nice. It seemed the best to just try and forget about it all.

For a while you were contemplating breaking up with Marcus, but you didn’t have the strength to do it, telling yourself you have to give it another chance and some more patience. However it’s ending up to be quite draining, you gotta admit, but you are starting to get used to feeling numb every day.

Rosa invites you over, because she went through her closet and found some stuff she thought you’d like, so you head over not long after you get home from work. She mentioned that Harry would be over watching some kind of football game with Steven, so you are not surprised to see his car parking on their driveway.

“Hi guys!” you greet them when Rosa lets you in, the game is already on so they just wave in your way, intently watching the TV.

“Come on, I have everything in the bedroom,” Rosa nods in your way and you follow her upstairs. Valerie greets you with a loud shriek as you walk in, she is sitting in her crib, surrounded with a bunch of toys, seemingly having a great time.

“Hi there, Princess!” you coo at her, caressing her cheek before you sit on the edge of the bed that’s filled with piles of clothes. “What’s the big sorting?” you ask, grabbing a cardigan and taking a look at it.

“I just have way too much stuff, can’t fit new stuff into my wardrobe, so I needed to sort it all out.”

The two of you go through everything and just catch up while you try on what you like. At the end, you are just sitting on the bed playing with Valerie. You can tell there’s something Rosa wants to share, but she seems reserved about saying it out loud.

“So, the other day we were talking with Steven about how crazy it is that Val is over one year old,” she starts, eyes glued to the little girl, handing her another building block as Valerie works on… whatever it’s going to be when it's finished.

“Yeah, that’s what we talked about with Harry after her birthday dinner. Makes us feel old,” you chuckle.

“Exactly,” she sighs chuckling. “So then we talked about, maybe… having another kid sometime soon.”

You perk up and looking at Rosa you see the shy smile on her lips and you gasp, but she shakes her head.

“I’m not pregnant,” she assures you, but then adds: “Not yet.”

“Oh my God, so you’re trying for another baby?” you whisper, even though there’s no chance of the guys hearing the two of you. You can hear the sound of the TV up here, they have no clue what you’re talking about.

“I mean, it can take some time, so we thought we could… start now.”

“That’s fantastic!” you breathe out, truly happy for your sister. You just know Valerie will be such a good big sister. “Val, you want a baby sister or baby brother?” you ask her and she looks at you with a serious expression, holding out one of the blocks.

“Baba!” she exclaims.

“Yes, baba!” you chuckle. She’s been learning kind of real words lately and it won’t take too long before she’ll be bossing around everyone in the house.

When it’s getting late you pack the clothes you choose and head down to leave. The guys are still on the couch, but Harry’s head perks up when he hears your footsteps.

“You want me to give you a ride?”

“Um, I’m fine, don’t want to bother you while the game is on.”

“It’s ending in five. If you can wait a little it’s alright.”

“Okay,” you nod smiling so instead of going to the front door you stop in the kitchen to wait for Harry.

Rosa puts Valerie into her high chair and gets a banana for her while you check your phone just when Marcus calls you. Hesitantly, but you answer it.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Hi, just wanted to check in if the weekend is still on.”

“Uh, sure. It is.”

“Great. I’ll have to check again with my boss, but I think I’ll be able to pick you up.”

“Great. Talk to you later.”

“Bye, babe.”

The call ends and you find yourself facing a curious looking Rosa on the other side of the kitchen island.

“Marcus?” she asks and you nod. “How are things going?” You’ve only mentioned it to her that it’s been hard between the two of you, but you definitely didn’t go into details. Harry was the first and last person to hear the whole story.

“Um… neutral, I guess?”

“That doesn’t sound promising.”

“I know, but I’m just trying to figure it out. We are spending the weekend together, I hope it’ll help us to get a little more… settled? I guess, I don’t know,” you stammer, nervously fidgeting with your phone in your hands.

“That’s nice, was it his idea?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s good to know that Marcus is making the right attempts to smooth things out.”

“Attempts?” Harry’s voice makes both of you look in his way as he stands at the door, seemingly confused about what he just heard. “You’re still with Marcus?”

“Harry, I…”

“No, don’t try to explain it. I thought I talked sense into you last time.” He is clearly pissed, not holding back how upset he is to get the news that you are still dating Marcus. But on the other hand you can also feel yourself getting angry how he tries to control your life.

“You did, but I never said I’ll break things off with him.”

“Well, it surely sounded like you made up your mind,” he huffs.

“Well, I didn’t,” you scoff, crossing your arms on your chest.

“What the fuck, Y/N! You can’t keep doing this to yourself!” he snaps gesturing in your way. “I thought we were over this!”

“We? What do you mean we?” you grimace and now you are raising your voice as well. “Harry, there’s no we! This is my relationship and it’s nice that you care, but you can’t tell me what to do!”

Harry is vivid. He needs everything in him not to burst right then and there and for a moment you think he’s gonna just explode. But when he speaks up again his voice is quiet, however you can feel all the anger and frustration behind it.

“Get in the car, we’re leaving.”

“What?”

“Get in the fucking car, Y/N!” he barks making you jump. Rosa and Steven, who arrived to the kitchen in the middle of this madness, are just watching the scene unfold, completely unable to even say a word.

Slowly, you slide off the stool and grabbing the bag filled with clothes you turn to Rosa.

“Thanks for… these,” you mumble before walking out, Harry following you right behind.

Nothing is said as the two of you get into the car, Harry is clearly on the verge of anger outburst, but you’re pretty upset yourself. The drive back to your place is painfully quiet, but you can’t stop staring at his hands gripping the wheel. HIs fingers and knuckles are turning white from the way he is basically crushing the wheel in his hold. You wouldn’t be surprised if it had his grip’s imprint on it by the time you arrive to your building.

“What the fuck, Y/N?” he snaps once the car is parked.

“Would you stop pretending like you have a saying in what I do?”

“I do have a saying in it! Because when you break again I’ll be the one picking you up from the ground!”

“Well, sorry it’s such an inconvenience to be my friend. But don’t worry, I won’t come to you again,” you snap back with a grimace and try to open the door, but it’s locked. “Let me out, Harry!”

“Fuck no, not until we talk about this,” he scoffs and it’s the last straw for you.

“There’s nothing to talk about! It’s none of your business, Harry! Stop pretending like you care!”

“I do care!” he shouts back so forcefully you are taken aback, sinking into your seat. “Of course I fucking care! How would I not?! I care about you so fucking much, how do you not see it?!”

At this point, you’re certain Harry has lost all self control and he is about to load he has been holding back out on you, while you’re just sitting there, staring at him completely speechless over how his whole being is filled with anger and fury.

“Stop fucking telling me that I don’t care when all I think about is you! Every damn day! I can’t fucking stop thinking about you, because every time my mind snaps right back to you when I’m trying to think about something else! Do you know how fucking painful it is?! See you fucking waste your time with that dickhead when I want to be with you?!”

Eyes widened you forget to even breathe as the words leave his lips and soon enough realization hits him hard about what he just said. His chest is violently waving, eyes staring straight ahead. Next time he speaks up the shouting is over, he is clearly shocked at his own behavior.

“Y/N, I-- what you told me last time, about ending up alone, that wasn’t the first time you told me all of that.”

“What?” you gasp.

“You broke down the same way at the wedding. Told me all about how you think you are just simply unlovable and will probably die alone.” His eyes snap down at his hands on his lap as he continues. “I was shocked how you’d ever think that way about yourself, because I was… I was already falling in love with you and I barely just met you that night. I couldn’t imagine what happened to you that made you believe that nonsense. I never felt like that with anyone else before and it was so fucking scary. Every time you looked at me or touched me, I could feel… the sparks. The fucking sparks, Y/N,” he lets out a bitter chuckle. “I never believed in that, but you made me feel that way. Then… one thing happened after the other and we were up in my room. I saw the way you looked at me, like I was your fucking everything and I have never experienced that. You fell asleep in my arms and I told myself that this is exactly how I want to spend the rest of my life.”

Tears roll down your cheeks as you listen in complete shock as Harry is still avoiding to look at you.

“I wanted to be the person who shows you how lovable and amazing you are, how worthy you are to be loved. Like I found my mission all of a sudden.”

“Then what the fuck happened in the morning?” you ask choking out the words. Harry finally turns to face you and you see his watery eyes. He was crying.

“You fell asleep and I was just watching you… and I realized that… sooner or later I would do something to hurt you. Because that’s what I always do and I didn’t want that. You didn’t deserve that, but I just knew I won’t be able to give you what you wanted and needed. And you told me all about how you just want to be loved and… I didn’t want to disappoint you in any way.”

He rubs his eyes turning back to look straight ahead and you see his lips tremble before he speaks up again.

“I said all those stuff so you’d have a reason to hate me and you wouldn’t try to stay with me.”

“This is literally the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” you chuckle bitterly as the tears keep rolling down your cheeks. “Do you have any idea how fucking horrible I felt after that? I felt so ashamed for fucking weeks, Harry!”

“I-I know. I mean, I figured.”

“You made me feel unwanted and dirty, it took me so long to build my confidence back and be able to think of myself as more than just some used rug that was thrown out!”

Harry sits there in complete silence and just lets you load everything out on him, because he knows that’s what he deserves. He has tried to punish himself in so many different ways for what he did to you, but he knew he had to face you someday. Now the time has come and he is done trying to run away from the consequences of his actions in the past.

“I was blaming myself all this time, thinking that I must have done something wrong, when in reality it was you! It was fucking you!”

“I know, I’m so sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean it to end like this.”

“You didn’t mean it to end like this?” you snap. “You literally continued to treat me like shit for years! If it wasn’t for Valerie, you’d still be a complete dick to me! And what was your intention with this now, huh? Why did you tell me all of this now?!”

“Because I couldn’t stop… seeing you be so unhappy with someone who clearly doesn’t deserve you in any way. I’m selfish and I realized that I made a mistake, but I now know what I should have done, because…” He finally turns to face you again, you see a tear roll down his cheek as he takes a deep breath before continuing. “I love you. I love you, Y/N, and I’m fucking done pretending like I don’t.”

You stare back at him, breath caught in your throat and it’s the breaking point. You reach over to his side and unlock the doors so you can open yours and you jump out of the car wanting to get as far away from him as possible. He can’t just throw all of this on you after everything the two of you went through, that’s not how it works. Does he even mean it? How are you supposed to believe him after years of hatred?

You try to get inside the building, but he is quick to catch up with you, he grabs your upper arm and pulls back, but you yank his hold away.

“Where are you going?!” he snaps towering above you.

“Home. And don’t fucking touch me!”

“But I literally just told you I love you, you’re not gonna say anything about that?”

At first you plan on not even answering, you make your way towards the door, but then you change your mind. Turning around you unload on him once again.

“You don’t have the right to tell me you love me! Not after all the shit I took from you! How am I supposed to believe it when you literally made me feel like shit for all these years, saying the meanest stuff to me every damn time we met! I was avoiding you like the plague because I can’t even count how many times you made me cry calling me names and treating me so fucking horrible! No, you are not just gonna waltz in here, tell me that I have to break up with my boyfriend because you’ve been in love with me all along. I don’t fucking believe you, Harry. So stay the fuck away from me,” you tell him and push your way inside. This time he doesn’t follow.

By the time you reach your front you’re sobbing, barely seeing from your own tears. With shaking hands you unlock the door and get inside shutting the door behind you before you collapse on the floor.

Harry lives in delusion if he thinks he can just unload all of this on you and make everything right magically. Not after more than three years of the shit you took from him. How are you supposed to believe that he is telling the truth? If he loved you all along, how could he treat you like that? That’s not what love should feel like. All those countless times when you came home after seeing him and you couldn’t help but cry after some of his meanest comments… and now he is trying to make you believe he did it all to protect you from him? Bullshit.

It doesn’t work like that and now he is gonna have to face the consequences of his actions.

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UCLA Radio’s Best of 2017 - Music and Genre Directors

This year, UCLA Radio’s music director and genre directors compiled a list of their favorite releases this past year. Take a peek and explore some of our favorite albums of this past year.

Alison Chi - Music Director

1. SZA - Ctrl

I don’t know a single person who doesn’t like SZA’s sophomore album Ctrl. There are so few albums that can capture people’s attention these days - it’s all about the singles and never the album as a whole but something about Ctrl is cohesive from start to finish. The way each song weaves into each other is seamless and you’ll truly be rewarded if you sit down and listen to the album straight through. Is there even a single bad song on this album?

2. Giraffage - Too Real 3. Slowdive - Slowdive 4. Turnover - Good Nature 5. Land of Talk - Life After Youth 6. Cigarettes After Sex - Cigarettes After Sex 7. Julien Baker - Turn Out the Lights 8. Valerie June - The Order of Time 9. Slow Dancer - In A Mood 10. Mount Eerie - A Crow Looked at Me

Megan Hullander - Rock Genre Director

1. King Gizzard & The Flying Wizard - Flying Microtonal Banana

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard’s Flying Microtonal Banana was the first in a series of five albums promised to be released in 2017 (one of which has still yet to come) including a concept album ridden with the drama of human and non-human emotions, a jazzy collaboration with Mild High Club, and an album given as a gift to fans - the rights of which are “owned” by all. Flying Microtonal Banana is unique in that the band customized their instruments in effort to find spaces between existing tones, or “microtones.” The album is named for one of these instruments which does, in fact, look quite similar to a banana.

2. Thee Oh Sees - Orc 3. The Brian Jonestown Massacre - Open Minds Now Close 4. Alex Cameron - Forced Witness 5. Ron Gallo - Temporary Slave 6. Ariel Pink - Dedicated to Bobby Jameson 7. Ty Segall - Sentimental Goblin 8. ORB - Naturality 9. Kikagaku Moyo - Stone Garden 10. Courtney Barnett & Kurt Vile - Lotta Sea Lice

Gabe Cortina - Rock Genre Director

1. Limp Wrist - Facades

Featuring Martin from Los Crudos on vocals as well as members of Hail Mary, Devoid of Faith, By the Throat, and Kill the Man Who Questions, the versatility of Limp Wrist sound has never been more apparent. Identifying as queercore, the band has a fast hardcore sound and lyrical themes concerning gay identity politics. The mixing of album is something which also stood out to me, it’s able to polished without sounding over produced. Martin’s vocal style perfectly matches the killer riffs and speedy drums in both intensity and aggression. Halfway through this album, the band’s sound switches to a disco-ey almost dark-wave- techno sound which they pull of with perfection. This album is solid and I highly recommend it to both longtime fans of punk and people who are looking for an introduction to punk music alike.

2. Despise You / Coke Bust - Split LP 3. Gay Kiss - Rounded Down 4. Exit Unit - St 2017 5. Glue - S/T MLP 6. Lumpy and the Dumpers - Those Pickled Fuckers 7. Goolagoon / ACxDC - Split 8. Burnout - West Coast Tour 2017 CS 9. Sex Prisoner / Harm Done - Split 10. Meth Leppard - Discography 2015-2017

Gabe Punk Genre Director Top 10 Albums of 2017 from anon-10212970514769336 on 8tracks Radio

Alana Enriquez - Pop Genre Director

1. Beach House - B-Sides and Rarities

This compilation happened to be release on a day where I had only gotten around an hour of sleep the night before, and I cried within one minute of the first track. It’s Beach House at their most dreamy, their most blaring, their most haunting. Old tracks with new renditions and fresh ones meld into something spellbinding that doesn’t require the logistical unity of a formal album. B-Sides and Rarities has been on a weekly rotation for me for the entire second half of 2017, and probably for the entirety of 2018, unless they release something else for me to cry to during my morning routine.

2. Florist - If Blue Could Be Happiness 3. High Bloom - Implied Sun 4. Alvvays - Antisocialites 5. The Drums - Abysmal Thoughts 6. Slowdive - Slowdive 7. Steve Lacy - Steve Lacy’s Demo 8. You’ll Never Get to Heaven - Images 9. Pedro Infante - Cien años... pensando en ti 10. Big Thief - Capacity

Alana Myers - Pop Genre Director

1. Wolf Alice - Visions Of A Life

Looking back at this past September, I remember sitting in my apartment late at night, counting down until midnight when Wolf Alice’s second record Visions of a Life would be released. I haven’t ever heard anything quite like Visions of a Life before, and I think the reason it resonates so much with me is the way it perfectly encompasses the feelings that come with the uncertainty of young adulthood, and the feelings of life in general - love, anger, sadness, extreme joy, and everything in between. The album digs itself into darkness, but at its core, lies a piece of work that is ambitious, honest, and a solid listen from start to finish.

2. MUNA - About U 3. Tei Shi - Crawl Space 4. Declan McKenna - What Do You Think About the Car? 5. Stormzy - Gang Signs & Prayer 6. Will Joseph Cook - Sweet Dreamer 7. HAIM - Something to Tell You 8. Lorde - Melodrama 9. Paramore - After Laughter 10. Circa Waves - Different Creatures

Alex Saakyan - Pop Genre Director

1. Lana Del Rey - Lust For Life

With an album cover that graces a smile, cheek to cheek of Lana Del Rey, it is no surprise as to why this record has been nicknamed as Del Rey’s first ‘happy album.’ Retiring from the ‘sad girl’ aesthetic of her previous records, Del Rey delivers an optimistic and authentic approach to her music. With tracks like ‘When the World Was at War’ and ‘God Bless America’ we see Del Rey take a more honest approach from her Americana aesthetic as she speaks of the hard times people in this country face. With tracks like ‘Get Free’ she delivers her mission statement: “Finally, I’m crossing the threshold/From the ordinary world/To the reveal of my heart,” She’s honest, she’s free, with a much optimism and a lust for life.

2. Kendrick Lamar - DAMN. 3. Lorde - Melodrama 4. Kelela - Take Me Apart 5. Majid Jordan - The Space Between 6. Harry Styles - Harry Styles 7. Calvin Harris - Funk Wav Bounces Vol. 1 8. Tyler, the Creator - Flower Boy 9. Dua Lipa - Blow Your Mind 10. Kesha - Rainbow

Christian Wright - World Genre Director

1. Jay Som - Everybody Works

Melina Duterte’s sophomore album is a bedroom production jewel. Every song, incredibly cohesive as a whole, traverses the beautifully lush sonic worlds her mind seemingly conjures up. That’s not to say the ten tracks that span Everybody Works are simple happenstances that fall together nicely; they definitely sound like labors of love. Rather her voice, certain of itself, transmits to the listener so powerfully, making sense out of all the disorder that comes with self-doubt and personal struggle. “Won’t forget to climb,” she sings on E.W’s. final track, “For Light,” beautifully steering the qualms of trying to make it in this world.

2. Nikolas Escudero - Synthesis 3. Haley Heynderickx - Unpeeled (Live) 4. Fleet Foxes - Crack-Up 5. Bedouine - Beduoine 6. Japanese Breakfast - Soft Sounds from Another Planet 7. Lomelda - Thx 8. Hand Habits - Wildly Idle (Humble Before the void) 9. Kevin Morby - City Music 10. Wednesday Campanella - Superman

Ethan Lee - Jazz Genre Director

1. Nick Hakim - Green Twins

Nick Hakim blurs the line between psychedelic, soul, funk, rock, and jazz with his debut album, Green Twins. With lush melodies to command his songs and a spacey approach to recording production, Hakim creates his own unique sound and challenges the notions and implications of a music genre. With a brand of sound that emulates Unknown Mortal Orchestra, Hakim's soundscape fills in colorful textures with his diverse instrumentation on top of steady, pulse-like rhythms. From spacey, reflective post-R&B rock songs like "Bet She Looks Like You" to jazzy, rhythmic pulses in "Miss Chew" and slow, soulful ballads like "Needy Bees," Green Twins has just about everything you need in a debut album from an artist as complex as Nick Hakim.

2. Tyler the Creator - Flower Boy 3. Kamasi Washington - Harmony of Difference 4. Rex Orange County - Apricot Princess 5. Christian Scott aTunde Adjuah - Diaspora 6. Moses Sumney - Aromanticism 7. Steve Lacy - Steve Lacy’s Demo 8. Brockhampton - Saturation II 9. Smino - blkswn 10. Antonio Sanchez - Bad Hombre

Mark Edmonds - Electronic Genre Director

1. Moon Boots - First Landing

First Landing is Moon Boots' debut album. Moon Boots manages a deep overtone with techy-melodies. 'Never Get to You' is a standout track that will light up any dance floor or pool party.

2. Rezz - Mass Manipulation 3. Oliver - Full Circle 4. Various Artists - Anjunadeep Vol. 9 5. Illenium - Awake 6. Giraffage - Too Real 7. Four Tet - New Energy 8. Odesza - A Moment Apart 9. Cosmic Gate - Materia Chapter.Two 10. Bicep - Bicep

Beliz Urkmez - Electronic Genre Director

1. Lorde - Melodrama

For me, Lorde's music means emotion in its purest, most honest form. Her sophomore album, Melodrama, captures her youth, her growth, her path to becoming a woman of her own and loving herself and all the ephemeral experiences in between. Mastering her craft, Lorde finds a cohesion between her atmospheric synths, harmonies, beats and the bittersweet wisdom in her lyrics. Especially in "Liability," a beautiful piano-ballad where she sings, "I understand, I'm a liability/ Get you wild, make you leave/ I'm a little much for everyone." Lorde is truly one of a kind and Melodrama proves she is one of the best artists today.

2. Gorillaz - Humanz 3. London Grammar - Truth Is a Beautiful Thing 4. HAIM - Something to Tell You 5. Alexandra Savior - Belladonna of Sadness 6. Temples - Volcano 7. Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds - Who Built the Moon? 8. Wolf Alice - Visions of a Life 9. Cigarettes After Sex - Cigarettes After Sex 10. Mura Masa - Mura Masa

Alex Ivanova - Folk/Singer-Songwriter Genre Director

1. Kiran Leonard - Derevaun Seraun

This is probably the most sonically beautiful album I’ve listened to in years. 22-year-old Kiran Leonard blends voice, piano, and string trio into an album with each movement representing a different piece of literature, seeing as the album was written to celebrate the re-opening of Manchester’s Central Library. The album is intensely personal, and raw, as Leonard’s voice is in the spotlight, accompanied by mournful accompaniment. I recommend this album endlessly.

2. The Spirit of the Beehive - pleasure suck 3. Jay Som - Everybody Works 4. Joan of Arc - He’s Got the Whole This Land Is Your Land in His Hands 5. Kindling - Hush 6. Синекдоха Монток - MMXVII (Parts 1 & 2) 7. Phoebe Bridgers - Stranger in the Alps 8. Sidney Gish - Ed Buys Houses 9. Tagubu & Klimperei - I Don't Remember The First Time 10. Nnamdi Ogbonnaya - DROOL

#best of 2017

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bluemagic-girl · 5 years

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Mayim Bialik praised for promoting ‘modest’ fashion line: ‘I always loved your modesty’

Mayim Bialik is making a big bang with her latest project.

With The Big Bang Theory having aired its series finale in May, the actress is moving on to support businesses that align with her Jewish faith. The 43-year-old former child star was raised under Reform Judaism, but now identifies as Modern Orthodox Jewish.

As outlined in a 2017 op-ed for the New York Times — which generated backlash for casting judgment on how women dress and act in the #MeToo era — Bialik prefers more conservative attire.

“I have decided that my sexual self is best reserved for private situations with those I am most intimate with,” she wrote. “I dress modestly.”

The Kosher Casual clothing line, then, appears to be a natural fit. In a Thursday Instagram post, the former Blossom star and mom-of-two raves about “one of [her] favorite fashion brands.”

“Kosher Casual specializes in modest clothing,” she says, wearing a baseball-style T-shirt with three-quarter-length sleeves and a swishy skirt that falls just past her knees. “But, just because it’s modest doesn’t mean that it’s not hip and modern and good quality.”

Bialik goes on to show off the brand’s tunics, tops, and pencil skirts, offering fans a 15 percent discount code and thanking the fashion line for “being part of my closet and my life.”

While the wares may not be the Hollywood norm, Bialik’s Instagram fans are praising her for celebrating modest dress.

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Mayim Bialik

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Blossom — Season 1 — Pictured: Mayim Bialik as Blossom Russo (Photo by Alice S. Hall/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)

THE FACTS OF LIFE — ‘The Beginning of the End’ Episode 23 — Pictured: Mayim Bialik as Jennifer Cole (Photo by Alice S. Hall/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)

LOS ANGELES – CIRCA 1990: Actress Mayim Bialik poses for a portrait circa 1990 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Harry Langdon/Getty Images)

BEVERLY HILLS, CA – NOVEMBER 9: Actress Tracy Wells, actor Rob Stone and actress Mayim Bialik attend ‘Paint the Town Pink’ Party to Celebrate the 25th Anniversary of ‘The Pink Panther’ to Benefit the Starlight Children’s Foundation on November 9, 1989 at Ed Debevic’s Short Order Deluxe in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Ron Galella, Ltd./WireImage)

UNITED STATES – AUGUST 10: BLOSSOM – Season Three – 8/10/92, Mayim Bialik (Blossom), (Photo by Touchstone Pictures/ABC via Getty Images)

UNITED STATES – AUGUST 10: BLOSSOM – Season Three – 8/10/92, Mayim Bialik (Blossom), Joey Lawrence (Joey) , (Photo by Touchstone Pictures/ABC via Getty Images)

UNITED STATES – AUGUST 10: BLOSSOM – Season Three – 8/10/92, Jenna Von Oy (Six), Mayim Bialik (Blossom), Joey Lawrence (Joey), (Photo by Touchstone Pictures/ABC via Getty Images)

UNITED STATES – DECEMBER 21: BLOSSOM – ‘Ruby’ – Season Three – 12/21/92, Mayim Bialik (Blossom) and director Bill Bixby during filming of the ‘Ruby’ episode., (Photo by Touchstone Pictures/ABC via Getty Images)

LOS ANGELES, CA – JANUARY 14: Actress Mayim Bialik poses at the Kari Feinstein Golden Globes Style Lounge at Zune LA on January 14, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Rebecca Sapp/WireImage)

BEVERLY HILLS, CA – FEBRUARY 10: Actress Mayim Bialik arrives at the Alliance for Children’s Rights Annual Dinner Gala on February 10, 2010 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Valerie Macon/Getty Images)

LOS ANGELES – APRIL 6: — While Penny worries that dating Leonard has ruined her for normal guys, Wolowitz and Koothrappali search for Sheldon’s (Jim Parsons, left) perfect match (Mayim Bialik, right) online, on the third season finale of THE BIG BANG THEORY, Monday, May 24 (9:31-10:01 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network. (Photo by Sonja Flemming/CBS via Getty Images)

CENTURY CITY, CA – MAY 07: Actress Mayim Bialik arrives at the 17th Annual Race to Erase MS event co-chaired by Nancy Davis and Tommy Hilfiger at the Hyatt Regency Century Plaza on May 7, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)

HOLLYWOOD, CA – MAY 3: Mayim Bialik arrives at the World Premiere of ‘Something Borrowed’ at the Grauman’s Chinese Theater on May 3, 2011 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Gregg DeGuire/FilmMagic)

Actress Mayim Bialik arrives at the Critics’ Choice Television Awards Luncheon at Beverly Hills Hotel on June 20, 2011 in Beverly Hills, California.

BEVERLY HILLS, CA – MAY 25: Actress Mayim Bialik attends the 36th annual Gracie Awards gala at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on May 24, 2011 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic)

HOLLYWOOD, CA – JUNE 30: Actress Mayim Bialik arrives at the premiere of Warner Bros. Pictures’ ‘Horrible Bosses’ at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre on June 30, 2011 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

BEVERLY HILLS, CA – AUGUST 03: Actress Mayim Bialik arrives at the TCA Party for CBS, The CW and Showtime held at The Pagoda on August 3, 2011 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)

LOS ANGELES, CA – DECEMBER 15: Mayim Bialik attends the ‘The Big Bang Theory’ 100th Episode Celebration at California Science Center on December 15, 2011 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jonathan Leibson/FilmMagic)

LOS ANGELES, CA – JANUARY 29: Actress Mayim Bialik arrives at the 18th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards at The Shrine Auditorium on January 29, 2012 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

LOS ANGELES – FEBRUARY 4: ‘The Countdown Reflection’ — When Howard and Bernadette (Melissa Rauch, right) decide they want to be married before his NASA launch, the gang rushes to put on a wedding, on the fifth season finale of THE BIG BANG THEORY, Thursday, May 10 (8:00 – 8:31 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network. Also pictured: Jim Parsons (left) and Mayim Bialik (center). (Photo by Michael Yarish/CBS via Getty Images)

LOS ANGELES – FEBRUARY 7: ‘The Rothman Disintegration’ ‘ When an office at the University opens up, Sheldon must compete for it with his archenemy, Kripke. Meanwhile, a gift from Amy (Mayim Bialik) makes Penny uncomfortable, on THE BIG BANG THEORY, Thursday, Feb. 16 (8:00 – 8:31 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network. (Photo by Sonja Flemming/CBS via Getty Images)

NEW YORK, NY – MARCH 06: Dr. Mayim Bialik promotes ‘Beyond the Sling: A Real-Life Guide to Raising Confident, Loving Children the Attachment Parenting Way’ at Barnes & Noble Tribeca on March 6, 2012 in New York City. (Photo by Taylor Hill/FilmMagic)

LOS ANGELES, CA – APRIL 22: Mayim Bialik attends the 17th Annual Los Angeles Times Festival Of Books – Day 2 at USC on April 22, 2012 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jonathan Leibson/FilmMagic)

NEW YORK, NY – MAY 16: Actress Dr. Mayim Bialik attends the 2012 CBS Upfronts at The Tent at Lincoln Center on May 16, 2012 in New York City. (Photo by Taylor Hill/FilmMagic)

LOS ANGELES, CA – APRIL 26: Actress/neuroscientist Mayim Bialik is honored at The Anti-Defamation League Deborah Awards at the Skirball Cultural Center on April 26, 2012 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Amanda Edwards/FilmMagic)

LOS ANGELES, CA – SEPTEMBER 23: Actress Mayim Bialik arrives at the 64th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on September 23, 2012 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)

LOS ANGELES, CA – JANUARY 09: Actors (L-R) Kaley Cuoco, Kunal Nayyar, Melissa Rauch, Simon Helberg, Mayim Bialik, Jim Parsons, and Johnny Galecki of Favorite Network TV Comedy winner ‘The Big Bang Theory’ pose in the press room at the 39th Annual People’s Choice Awards at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on January 9, 2013 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

LOS ANGELES – JANUARY 15: ‘The Spoiler Alert Segmentation’ — When Sheldon (Jim Parsons, right) and Leonard (Johnny Galecki, left) fight, it affects Penny (Kaley Cuoco, left center) and Amy’s (Mayim Bialik, right center) living arrangements, on THE BIG BANG THEORY, Thursday, Feb. 7 (8:00 ‘Â 8:31 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network. (Photo by Sonja Flemming/CBS via Getty Images)

BEVERLY HILLS, CA – JANUARY 13: Actress Mayim Bialik arrives at the 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards held at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 13, 2013 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage)

LOS ANGELES, CA- AUGUST 25: Actress Mayim Bialik arrives at the 66th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on August 25, 2014 in Los Angeles, California.(Photo by Jeffrey Mayer/WireImage)

UNIVERSAL CITY, CA – OCTOBER 24: Actress Mayim Bialik performs on the Lovitz or Leavitz live vodcast with Mayim Bialik at Jon Lovitz Comedy Club on October 24, 2013 in Universal City, California. (Photo by Chelsea Lauren/WireImage)

LOS ANGELES, CA – JANUARY 18: Actress Mayim Bialik attends the 20th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards at The Shrine Auditorium on January 18, 2014 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage)

LOS ANGELES – JANUARY 20: ‘The Convention Conundrum’ — The girls see if they can act like ‘Âgrown-ups,’Â on THE BIG BANG THEORY, Thursday, Jan. 30 (8:00 -Â 8:31 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network. Pictured left to right: Mayim Bialik, Kaley Cuoco and Melissa Rauch. (Photo by Robert Voets/CBS via Getty Images)

LOS ANGELES, CA – FEBRUARY 16: Actress Mayim Bialik and Harlem Globetrotters Scooter (L), Stretch (C) and Big Easy (R) at Staples Center on February 16, 2014 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Rich Polk/Getty Images for Harlem Globetrotters)

LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS — Episode 0131– Pictured: Actress Mayim Bialik during an interview on November 20, 2014 — (Photo by: Lloyd Bishop/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)

HOLLYWOOD, CA – MARCH 11: Actors Jim Parsons (front) and (l-r) Kunal Nayyar, Mayim Bialik, Melissa Rauch, Simon Helberg, Johnny Galecki and Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting attend a ceremony honoring Jim Parsons wtih the 2,545th Star on The Hollywood Walk Of Fame on March 11, 2015 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images)

CULVER CITY, CA – NOVEMBER 15: Actress Mayim Bialik attends the 2nd annual Save a Child’s Heart Gala held at Sony Pictures Studios on November 15, 2015 in Culver City, California. (Photo by Tommaso Boddi/WireImage)

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA – SEPTEMBER 18: Mayim Bialik arrives at the Variety And Women In Film Annual Pre-Emmy Celebration at Gracias Madre on September 18, 2015 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage)

LOS ANGELES, CA – JANUARY 30: Actress Mayim Bialik attends the 22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards at The Shrine Auditorium on January 30, 2016 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jeff Vespa/WireImage)

SANTA MONICA, CA – JANUARY 17: Actress Mayim Bialik poses in the press room at the 21st annual Critics’ Choice Awards at Barker Hangar on January 17, 2016 in Santa Monica, California. (Photo by Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic)

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA – MARCH 07: Actress Mayim Bialik attends the Premiere of Sony Pictures Classics’ ‘The Bronze’ at SilverScreen Theater at the Pacific Design Center on March 7, 2016 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Barry King/Getty Images)

HOLLYWOOD, CA – MARCH 16: Actress Mayim Bialik attends ‘The Big Bang Theory’ event at the 33rd annual PaleyFest at Dolby Theatre on March 16, 2016 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic)

HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA – MARCH 16: (L-R) Executive producer Bill Prady, actors Mayim Bialik, Jim Parsons, and Kaley Cuoco attend The Paley Center For Media’s 33rd Annual PALEYFEST Los Angeles ÃThe Big Bang Theory’ at Dolby Theatre on March 16, 2016 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images)

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA – JUNE 07: Actress Mayim Bialik attends the Women In Comedy event with July cover stars Leslie Jones, Melissa McCarthy, Kate McKinnon and Kristen Wiig hosted by ELLE at HYDE Sunset: Kitchen + Cocktails on June 7, 2016 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

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“I always loved your modesty,” read one comment.

“This is amazing! I’m not religious but I dress modestly and this website is amazing!” a fan added.

“There [are] so many companies that push sex in clothes, I’m glad to see modest clothes,” another follower wrote. “They’re hard to find.”

“i love you and everything you stand for,” another commenter posted. “Thanks for being an awesome human being and an example to the rest of us.”