#he makes me wanna cvt | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

razorspidey · 17 days

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intro ⋆ READ B4 INTERACTING ⌁

my name is ajax/reo (you can call me either of those names) my pronouns are he/xe i am a minor (i'm 4teen) and i used to be @spinnspidey and @radiospidey and @knifespidey (that was the more known one) but i got t worded (again...). to whoever got me t worded, block dnt report. thanks!! ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა yeah so heres my intro. i'm a little bit of a weirdo if i do say so myself and i'm heavily tumblr obsessed so yeah i'll be on here nd i'll probably post a lot ^^ i'll post whatever goes through my mind which might be bad so warning on that. i might show symptoms of mental illnesses and if i do then mb idk not really my problem… but heads up i WILL say shit that shows that im not doing great. please do not try to save me or smth. also im looking for friends so bmf i promise im nice. DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT PROMOTE ANYTHING THAT I POST. I AM POSTING AS A WAY TO VENT.

more info + stats under the cut!!! (tw for talking about sh + ed. don't like, don't read.)

sh﹐tw . . . ⋆ i have been cvtting since 2022 ⋆ i have hit styro ⋆ only styro on my thighs ⋆ i am not allowed to cvt anymore (unfortunately) ⋆ i have cvt my thighs, arms, stomach, and neck ⋆ most scars on thighs + arms ⋆ mostly cat scratches ⋆ all scars have healed (or are almost done in the process of healing) ⋆ my parents found out so i can't do it for now... (⇀‸↼‶)

ed﹐tw . . . ⋆ i have always hated my body ⋆ started trying to lose weight january 2023 ⋆ started around december 2023 (probably before, like over the summer but idk...) ⋆ 160 cm (last time i measured myself at least..) ⋆ sw 57.6 kg (bmi 22.5) ⋆ cw 51.2 kg (bmi 20) [will update every morning] ⋆ gw 1 50 kg (bmi 19.5) ⋆ gw 2 45 kg (bmi 17.6) ⋆ gw 3 40 kg (bmi 15.6) ⋆ ugw 38 kg (bmi 14.8) [or lower tbh...]

dni . . . ⋆ basic dni (idrc ngl, do what you want but don't report me thanks) ⋆ judgmental people ⋆ overly sensitive people ⋆ people who aren't ok w dark topics/get uncomfortable by stuff like that (this is more for you than for me, i dont wanna make anyone upset) ⋆ people who get triggered by talking about sh, ⭐️ving, alcohol, etc… (yes i am aware that it's bad, no don't come to my dms with a savior complex telling me to get help. i'm trying to get help) ⋆ i block freely btw cuz ik a lot of ppl dont respect dni lists + theres people who are unavoidable at times…

byi . . . ⋆ if you interact with me, i might seem excited n stuff ⋆ i might sound like i'm flirting but i'm not (i have a partner and i love them) ⋆ i can make a lot of sex jokes ⋆ i am very immature ⋆ dnt try to "fix" me, i'll probably block you or ignore you ⋆ i'm a little unusual so yeah ⋆ dnt be scared to interact w me i luv talking to peopleヾ(≧∇≦)ゞ ⋆ i am not pro €d or $h i just post about it and my experience…

fandoms . . . ⋆ hypmic (hypnosis mic) ⋆ genshin impact ⋆ paralive (paradox live) ⋆ servamp ⋆ tougen anki ⋆ karneval ⋆ bsd (bungou stray dogs) ⋆ seraph of the end ⋆ litc (lost in the cloud) ⋆ kagerou daze ⋆ the case study of vanitas ⋆ pandora hearts ⋆ enstars (ensemble stars) (i am KIND OF a part of it because my ex filled me up on a lot of lore when we were together…) ⋆ pjsk (project sekai) ⋆ theres probably some others but i forgot…

interests . . . ⋆ vkei ⋆ scene ⋆ anything bloody ⋆ cannibalism (ooh edgy) ⋆ tortures ⋆ psychology ⋆ music (i listen to vkei, scene, metal, etc…) ⋆ vampires ⋆ fanfiction (mostly genshin but other stuff occassionally) ⋆ true crime (im not tcc) ⋆ rarepairs (mostly genshin) ⋆ bats ⋆ writing ⋆ books ⋆ etc… ⋆ btw if youre interested in any of these or are interested becoming friends PLEASEEE message me 🙏🙏😓 im looking for friends pleaseplwaseplease

tags . . . ⋆ i tag all my posts with #razorspidey ⋆ i tag my normal posts with #razorspideys normal posts, meaning they are unrelated to $h and/or €d related things ⋆ i dont have a specific tag for $h/€d/vent related things so beware. i usually put a warning on all my posts like that at the end of the post tho ⋆ i tag my moodboard with #razorspideys moodboards ⋆ i tag stuff about me/my life as #razorspideys diary ⋆ i tag my rants/more serious posts with #razorspidey rants ⋆ block any of those tags or my blog if you do not wish to see it!!!

other links . . . ⋆ fanfic/dead dove: do not eat blog ⋆ poem blog ⋆ carrd

remember!!! block DONT report this blog if you need to ^^ this blog is meant as a way to vent my feelings/talk about my feelings so please don't dm me about how its bad. i am aware.

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night-of-thyme · 8 months

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//gurø, nsft, n3cr0(?), MDNI PLEASE OH GOD LOOK AWAY (just skip this one please, i have plenty sfw posts so dw)

i gotta cvt him open and play in his entra¡ls. being covered in his bl00d would make me die happy, i gotta eat his vital organs before my funeral. i wanna like,,, cvt an opening in his chest down to his waist then empty his insides out and just lay in the mess. think of the wound fvcking too omg. i wanna tongue fvck his eye sockets so bad! fingering lacerations while he cries and drifts in an out of consciousness... his twitching body after his heart stops??? and i wont stop there, i cant just fvck him once i gotta keep going

i love him i promise. im not weird, yall are weird for not loving them this way.

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eyeless-jack62002 · 1 month

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You know im mentally fucked when im here again

Also to those posting in these tags u can put the squiggle line so ur not jumpscaring ppl and less likely to get reported so fast.

Not me on my 3rd acc. Tho yall really help me stay clean. My partner started back in Novemberish maybe sooner. Right after our 4 y anniversary. And then she just dropped it on me. She knew i was trying to stay clean for her and i was doing such a good job. I only thought about it and would scroll here to "get my fix" its an addiction and i dont think ppl realize that. She brought my favorite drvgs into the house and hid it from me for months. Tho she doesnt even know i have a tumblr. Shes starting therapy now finally. And me too. I have an appt next week. I havent been since i was 12. Im scared. I dont trust therapists. I wish i could just cvt head to toe. All over everywhere. Id be exactly how i wanna be. I want this. But i cant. Gotta be around for my partner. Even tho she didnt want to for me. I told her if she wanted we could together but that we wouldnt be same ever again. I wish shed said yes but thats just jack. He clouds my thoughts with his own. Ik im sick. I wish she never told me. Ive been spiraling for months but i have to shove that down so i can help her get better. I warned her. She knew i was trying ro get better but she still fucking did it behind my back for months!! I almost broke up with her. I wnated so bad to run away and never see her again. But whats the price of choosing to love someone but urself. Id give my entire being up for her and in a way i do. Ive just been so hurt and its all i can think about. I threw away my fucking stash for her!! I regret that somedays. Today especially. We had to drain our fucking saving acc bc of her. She kept skipping work and we kept having less and less financial stability. Still dont but were starting to recover from that but barely. Its like she fucking ignored all of my advice as someone who has been selfh@rming for over a decade. Fuck what i have to say tho. The worst part of it all she cvt the same way and places as my quail as my ruby did. Fucked. She didnt know that tho. And i was finally fucking comfortable with telling her about my self h@arm and she fucking did it anyways. And she told me as if it was her telling what we her having for dinner. I cant even cry anymore over this. Why does this all still bother me. I have no tears left. I admit i screamed a lot. I hit her cvts slapped them. You didnt feel the pain then but u feel it now?? It hurts now? And she said to me "i thought you would have noticed" so snarky. Why the fuck would i think my partner who knows of my history would fucking betraw me like this. And then to be a bitch about it and ask for MY HELP!?!? TEH FUCKING INSANITY. She doing better now tho. Good for her. Ive never been okay. And i dont think i will be. I dont want to get better. Being sick feels too good. And eventually me subbing out cvting for w33d will get old eventually. It always does. Nothing can scratch this itch i have so badly in me. Its like my insides scream to be let out. Its like an energy that flows out with the red. She doesnt understand what cvtting is for me. She said she wanted to die. But knowing you wont die is what keeps me held. I have sold my soul. Im bound. Ruby stopped when we broke up. And i told her i did as well. I know were both liars but thats why ill always have a place in me for ruby. I love my partnerbut if she wants to replace ruby she can be my guest. But replaceing ruby will just make you into a ruby. And no one wants that. I love my partner and im clean for her. Why couldnt she do that for me.

I feel like im in my wattpad days in here. Jacks old diary. But he likes it here better. Anyways if u made it this far enjoy a gif from one of my current special interest show 🖤 -t and jack

#self h@rm #baby cvts #i want to cvt #s3lf harn #sh tumblr #sh things #s3lf mutilation

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blinkerfluid93-blog · 5 years

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The Fall of Subaru (as we know it)

There are some car companies that make me happy. Kia for example. A name that has been scoffed at and pushed in the mud for years, finally silencing the naysayers with the Stinger GT. A truly fun and cool car to combat the evermore boring and expensive Japanese car market. Alfa Romeo is another example. While always maintaining their reputation as sexy and exciting, they’ve recently lacked the performance of their competitors. A man that while draped in gold jewellery and Armani, you suspect may conveniently disappear when the bill comes around. But now that the Giulia is blitzing M3’s and RS4’s around the Nurburgring, it seems old mate has the wallet to back up his chains.

Subaru is not one of these companies. Subaru always used to be a bit of an outcast. He didn’t wanna play rugby with the other kids at lunchtime and his mum always packed him weird foods for his lunch. But once you went over to his house, you realised he was quiet and disciplined because his dad taught him spin-kicks in the backyard, and that weird hummus stuff he eats? Well, it’s actually goddam delicious. Can I take some home?

Now though, Subaru has given up its unique charm in exchange for some beige slacks and a healthy dose of The Big Bang Theory. I’ll make an example of the Legacy. In the 90’s, while the base models were little more than boring but practical runabouts, the top end GT and GT-B models were absolute machine guns. My dad took me for a test drive in one when I was about 6 years old and I was scared to death. Scared, but in love. The car sticks to the road like it's on rails thanks to Subaru’s always awesome AWD system. But my favourite part of old Legacys is the engine. A fairly weak 2 litre with 2 beastly turbos slapped on bringing it up to 280bhp. A very average man, on steroids. There’s not much that can beat the sound of these engines, and one of the only things that can is the sensation it gives you. Thanks to massive lag, the feeling is comparable to hitting light speed in the Millennial Falcon. All the blood slingshots to the back of your head and you’re left questioning whether that truck you overtook ever actually existed in the first place. They were never the fastest on the road but they sure felt like it.

From the turbo’s and the AWD to the brutal hood scoop, old Legacy’s were constantly reminding you that they had one foot in everyday practicality and one foot in their rally heritage.

Not anymore though! I recently had a chance to drive a 2015 Legacy and there isn’t actually much I remember about it. It was just….boring. I do however remember that it looked like it had recently won the highly coveted Rental Car Styling Award and I also remember how it drove. The inline 6 was pretty good actually. Sounded alright and had plenty of torque. It was however mated to one of the biggest giveaways that a car company is going soft, a CVT gearbox. Oh, how I dread the CVT. Not since the introduction of paddles has fun motoring taken such a blow. It’s like you never sold the 50cc Scooter you had when you were 15, and instead, it just grew up with you. The interior I can’t even recall. I think it seemed tough and durable, but it wasn’t even interesting enough for me to register it. Old Subaru interiors were never beautiful, but they were at least interesting. “I like this turbo gauge and what mad bastard came up with this seat pattern?”. Modern Legacys definitely still have one foot in everyday practicality, but now the other is firmly planted in the grave.

The same is across the board I’m afraid. The WRX and the Forester have both lost their edge in trade for mass appeal. I actually quite like the Levorg to be honest, but for the sake of this argument, I’m going to choose to childishly poke fun at its name. Boo Levorg! Go teach a Potions class to Harry and the gang! (Seriously, whoever came up with that name should be fed to a dog of the same name).

In all, the car industry is on the rise at the moment. Cars are getting back to fun in all ways shapes and forms. With Tesla and the 2 cylinder Fiat 500 to the Ford Raptors and the Focus RS, but Subaru is taking a different approach. And maybe that’s a good thing? Maybe Subaru has grown up with its clients. To me though it’s like watching a rock star hanging up his chains and leathers for the mundane.

Look out, everybody! There’s a new Geography teacher on the scene and he’s having a tuna sandwich for lunch.

#Subaru #turbocharged #twin turbo #GT #Cars #Classics #jdm #NZ #NewZealand #Autos

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