#he told his statement way back in season 1 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

puck-luck · 1 month

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Forever yearning for a jealous, dominant Luke Hughes. I mean spitting in your mouth, edging, mirror sex, etc. I need the filthy, down bad luke.

Scenario: maybe you’re becoming close with one of the other players (completely innocent-just forming a friendship) but Luke doesn’t see it as that way…

👉🏻👈🏻

warnings (in no particular order): spit(!!), jealousy, dom!luke, edging, mirror sex, one (1!) slap to the face just for the enjoyment of my friend jo, spanking, drinking (technically underage hiii luke turn 21 already stop being lame), beating yourself up, pet names and nicknames as FUCK (always bro do y’all even know me), road head, face fucking, unprotected p in v, dare i say breeding kink, implied subspace, allusion to size kink (probably established size kink to be fair), I THINK THAT’S IT BUT I’M NOT SURE! pairing: luke hughes x fem!reader summary: the one when luke gets jealous at the bar and doles out a bit of a punishment (code: luke is insecure about his performance on the ice, so when his gf starts talking with another teammate who is her friend, he gets jealous and feels like he has to prove himself by making her feel good, but he’s still a dom bc HOTTTT) wc: 6416

The Devils’ last game of the season was at home this year. There was no chance that they would make the playoffs and Jack was out in Colorado for his shoulder surgery, plus Luke’s parents weren’t able to make it from Michigan for his final rookie game. He was depending on you to be there, so there you were. You were cheering, you were yelling at the officials when they missed a call, you were laughing at Luke when he took a trademarked Hughes spill on the ice with barely anyone around him. Yeah, you were disappointed at the end of the game when the Islanders won (and it wasn’t even close), but it was just one game. It wasn’t the end of the world. It was a disappointment, but it wasn’t life-changing.

Luke, however, was much more upset with their performance when you met up with him after the game. He drove the two of you to the bar where the team was meeting for one last celebration before the off-season and he tried, he really did, to keep his complaints inside. He was stewing, just letting it well up inside of him and fester in the silence between you, until it spilled over.

“It should have been a better game,” Luke finally said, the harsh edge in his tone rubbing you in all the wrong ways. “We could’ve done more. If I had just–”

“Lu, baby,” you interrupted, voice soft. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“I was out there the longest, other than Jake,” Luke argued. “They depend on me and I let them down.”

“You were only on the ice for one goal, Lu. You couldn’t have done anything about at least the other three.”

Your statement was not something he wanted to hear. Your boyfriend, sweet as he was, always saw the best in everyone else and the worst in himself. Where he could have been blaming Brendan for the loss, since Brendan was on the ice for three of the four goals, he was instead blaming himself. He was never one to hold a grudge against his teammates or his friends or his family, which was part of the reason why you were so in love with him.

He grunted instead of giving you a real response, but you knew it was coming from a place of knowing you’re right but still feeling hurt.

“I love you,” you told him, just a reminder that his performance would never affect your affection towards him.

“I love you too,” Luke replied, and you two fell back into silence. It was less tense this time, but his shoulders were still tense and he was frowning, almost pouting. He was so pretty, even now, but you hated how this expression marred his face.

When you pulled up to the bar, you were met by Luke’s teammates. While some of the men had gone home after the game, it was mostly the ones who had families. You knew their wives and girlfriends would have encouraged them to go out with the team rather than stay home with the kids, but you understood. If Luke had wanted to go straight home after the game, you would’ve gone with him and cuddled him until you fell asleep.

“Do you want to get out and get me a drink, baby, while I find parking?” Luke asked, always so considerate.

“Yeah,” you agreed easily, leaning over the center console to peck his lips before you left the car.

Waiting outside the entrance of the bar, Nico and John smiled as you got out of the car and walked over to them. You hugged each of them before entering the bar, Nico walking in ahead of you and John following you with a hand on your back.

It didn’t mean anything to you or to John, but when Luke watched John guide you into the bar before he drove away to search for a parking spot, something sharp and green poked at his heart.

Luke finally made his way into the bar about ten minutes after you walked in, and your face had lit up when you saw him like it had been much longer. He didn’t see you at first, so you had the chance to watch him scan the room. His brow was furrowed as he scanned each person’s features. You knew that he was trying to spot you without looking for the other boys at first, but it was proving difficult with how crowded the room had become.

Timo appeared at his side and patted Luke’s shoulder in greeting. Luke talked to him for a minute before Timo pointed your way. Luke’s face split with a smile when he saw you and he gave Timo a pat before beelining towards you.

You looped your arms around Luke’s neck when he joined you, leaning up on your tiptoes to kiss him.

“Gross,” Nico complained from next to you. “It’s only been a few minutes since you’ve seen each other.”

“You’re not in love,” Luke replied, snarky and sarcastic like he tended to be when it wasn’t just the two of you. He then turned to you. “Where’s my drink?”

“What a priority,” you teased, rolling your eyes at him. He pinched your side. “I sent Johnny to go get it.”

Luke’s expression changed for a split second before he schooled his features. You wouldn’t have noticed it if you weren’t so in tune with his emotions, experience that comes only after years of dating a person.

You let it go, knowing that it can’t be too important, or Luke would have said something. He knew you were friends with guys on the team. After being around them for almost a year, having moved out here with Luke at the start of his rookie year, it was bound to happen. Plus, Luke wasn’t the jealous type. He knew that you loved him and you’d love him forever, saying yes in a second if he chose to propose.

But to him, there was something about the way you said “Johnny” instead of John. It was that and John’s hand on your back as he guided you into the bar, on top of an already hard night, that had Luke questioning himself.

“I asked him to get you a rum and coke,” you said, tilting your head up to poke Luke’s nose with your own. “Is that okay?”

“It sounds good, thank you,” Luke replied.

You resume conversation with Nico, turning to face him but staying tucked into Luke’s side. He had a hand on your hip and the other accepted the drink that John handed Luke when he returned. He nursed it quietly for a while, engaging in conversation here and there, but mostly just enjoying his time with his friends.

The game was the last time that his whole team would be together like that, but this night out was the last time that his team, his friends, would be together in the way that mattered. Even if no one was traded, if no one changed in the slightest (except Jack, coming back from injury), things still wouldn’t be quite the same. It wouldn’t be his second year, his presence wouldn’t be new or exciting. He would have to try harder, do better, and be consistent to show that he wasn’t just an example of beginner’s luck.

He clutched you a little tighter to his side at that thought. He was comforted by the way that you melted into him, moving to lean back against his chest. Your hand covered his and the other polished off your drink. He took the empty cup from you and kissed your cheek before pulling away to toss your cup, and his, in the trash can behind him.

When he returned, he was taken aback by the sight before him.

You had stepped forward and were carding your fingers through John’s curls and Luke saw red before he saw the thoughtful look on your face. John had just said to you and Nico that he thought his hair was getting too long, too unruly. You didn’t agree– it was a good length, the curls were just settling into their shapes.

“I don’t think you should cut it, John,” you were saying before Luke grabbed your other wrist and yanked you towards him. “Luke!” You exclaimed, startled by the movement.

“Time to go,” Luke announced, loud enough that the other boys could hear. He clutched your wrist, not your hand, your wrist, and pulled you along as he stomped toward the exit.

“Luke, what is going on?” You asked, voice resounding in your ears like it’s much louder than it actually is.

Luke kept walking like he didn’t even hear you, pushing through the door and leading you down the block to the car. He opened your door for you and helped you in, but he slammed it shut once you were buckled into your seat. He rounded the car and opened his own door, glaring at you in a passing glance before settling into the driver’s seat.

“Lu,” you implored, pressing your hands against the top of your thighs.

When he didn’t reply, you tried again.

“Babe, talk to me–”

“I don’t want you to speak unless you’re spoken to,” Luke said. He refused to look at you. “You think you can touch John’s hair the way you touch mine? You’ll let him guide you into the bar the way I would? I’m not enough for you, huh, baby?”

You blinked, suddenly shifting up to sit a little straighter. Luke, your sweet angel Luke, the baby of his family who would never hurt a fly, who avoided hockey fights at every cost, had flipped his switch.

“Answer me. I asked you a question.”

“No, sir,” you said. Your eyes flickered down to where Luke’s knuckles were white with how hard he was gripping the steering wheel. You inhaled sharply as you made eye contact with the veins decorating the back of his hand.

“No?” Luke repeated, mocking. “I’m not enough for you?”

“No! Lu, you’re more than enough, you know you’re the only one I need.” Your words came out scrambled and you tripped over them.

Luke clicked his tongue, disapproval written all over his face. “Can’t even speak, can you?” He scoffed, reached down with one hand, and popped the button on his jeans. “Let’s put your mouth to a better use until you can find your words.”

“You’re driving,” you pointed out, casting a worried look at the road ahead of you.

“It wasn’t a question,” Luke threw you a glance. He looked back at the road, then back to you, this time holding your gaze. He cocked his head to the side, eyes softening for a moment. “Was it?”

“No,” you breathed out.

“Good girl.” A smile spread over Luke’s face and he turned back to the road. “Get to it.”

You clenched your thighs together and unbuckled your seatbelt so you could twist towards Luke and lean over the center console. You reached out to unzip his pants, but he knocked your hands away.

“I didn’t say use your hand. I said,” he paused, grabbing your hair and tilting your head up so your eyes met his, “Use your mouth.”

The noise that escaped you was involuntary. You moved forward that extra inch and carefully took Luke’s zipper in your mouth, dragging it down. His boxers were revealed by the action, but that was the extent of it.

“Come on,” Luke encouraged, growing impatient. What you couldn’t see from your position was the smug tilt of his mouth, knowing there was no way to get his cock out of his pants with just your mouth. “Take it out.”

“Can’t,” you whimpered.

“Oh, you can’t?” Luke mocked, feigning sympathy. “Poor baby needs my help, yeah?”

You nodded and hummed an agreement.

Luke’s grip tightened on your hair and he gave it a sharp tug. “Use your manners.”

“Please, Lu, help me,” you conceded.

“Help you what?”

“Help me take your cock out so I can suck you, please, sir.” Your voice was close to breaking, you were itching to get your mouth on him and make him feel good.

Luke obliged, revealing himself to you. You opened your mouth and he pumped himself twice just to tease you before slapping the lip of his cock on the flat of your tongue. He fed you his cock, returning his hand to your hair when you had taken as much of his length in your mouth as you could. He gathered your hair into a messy ponytail with his one hand, the other still on the wheel, and began to guide your head up and down.

You gagged when he guided you to his base, nose touching the fabric of his boxers around his cock, but the groan he let out made the discomfort worth it. It was low and desperate, just pure relief.

“Wanna fuck your mouth,” Luke breathed out, pulling you up so just the tip of his cock remained in your mouth.

You hollowed your cheeks and sucked, swiping your tongue over his slit and relishing in the taste of his precum in your mouth.

He moaned aloud, the sound seeming to echo throughout the car. You could feel your heartbeat in your fingertips. You let out a sigh, suddenly overwhelmed with contentment for your situation. Luke was perfect. He was the perfect boyfriend, whether he was his soft and cuddly self or this dominant version of him that wasn’t afraid to tell you what to do, to communicate what he wanted.

“Would if I weren’t driving, too,” Luke mumbled, mostly to himself. “Fuck, baby, make me come. You know how.”

Luke returned both hands to the steering wheel and allowed you to move your head freely, to go at your own pace. You bobbed your head with enthusiasm, spit dripping down his shaft and soaking the fabric around him. You gagged at times, but the tight squeeze of your throat around him just added to Luke’s pleasure. He wasn’t shy about telling you how good you felt, either, making you more determined to make him come.

“Fuck, pull off,” Luke said, his voice a little shaky.

You couldn’t. You couldn’t, not when he was so close. The idea of having his come in your mouth, on your tongue, the manifestation of how you made him feel, was too alluring.

“Y/N, pull off,” Luke commanded, reaching down to yank you off of him by your hair. He clenched his jaw as he held you just far enough off his cock that you thought, with just one bump in the road, you could capture it again. He steered out of the lane and parked on the side of the road. “You don’t want to listen? You’re so cockdumb that you can’t follow my orders?”

All you could do was look at him, eyes wide.

He spoke through his teeth, never once blinking or breaking eye contact. “Since you want me inside you so bad, I’m gonna fuck your mouth until I come. You’re gonna take it. Even if you gag, even if you cry, I’m not going to stop until I come. Then, you’re going to sit back and buckle yourself in and I’m going to finish driving us home. You will not swallow. You’re going to hold my come in your mouth until I say so. Do you understand?”

Your jaw dropped at the words, the tips of your ears growing hot. “Yes, sir.” It’s nearly inaudible and you can feel your panties growing damper with just the thought of it– minute after minute ticking by, Luke’s come coating your tongue, not being able to speak or swallow. You’re completely under Luke’s control.

He leaned back in the seat and motioned toward his cock.

You allowed him to guide you onto his length again, getting comfortable with its size. You hollowed your cheeks and looked up at him, pausing your movements and staying statue-still.

A smirk took over Luke’s face. “That’s my girl.”

He took your head with both hands, keeping your hair out of your face and keeping you from moving an inch, and began to thrust into your mouth. It was sharp and hard and you tried to create a vacuum-type suction around his cock, as tight as you knew he liked it, but it was hard with the head of his dick hitting the back of your throat with every buck of his hips. You ended up gagging, and crying, and drooling all over his cock, just like Luke had said, and he fulfilled his promise that he wouldn’t stop.

“Look at you, making such a mess of yourself,” Luke scoffed. “Such a mess all over my cock, just to make me feel good. You’d let me do whatever I wanted, wouldn’t you, baby? You’d never let anyone else take you like this, just me, yeah? No one else gets to see you just leaking all over my cock because you’re mine.”

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head at that and the moan you released around Luke’s length caused his hips to stutter, made him unable to hold back his orgasm any longer. He came in stripes all over your tongue, some of it leaking down the back of your throat before you could stop it. He pulled you off of him and crashed his lips against yours, a close-mouthed kiss because you wouldn’t dare disobey, couldn’t handle the idea of disappointing Luke.

“My good girl,” Luke cooed when he pulled away.

You offered him a lazy smile, head foggy and bones mushy. You were sated, an elevated version of just happy, and so, so comfortable. You loved him. He was everything.

“I’m not done with you yet, am I?” Luke asked softly, thumbing over your bottom lip.

You shook your head.

“Open,” Luke said. “I want to see my come on your tongue.”

You hesitantly opened your mouth, pushing your tongue out so he could see the milky white substance coating the muscle.

Luke captured your cheeks with one hand and leaned in with the other holding your head in place. You stared at his eyes, which were watching your tongue as a line of his saliva mixed with the come in your mouth. When his eyes rose to meet yours, it was the embers of desire that made your head roll back and the instinct, the pure instinct of having something in your mouth, that caused you to swallow.

Your head snapped forward, eyes wide and not doe-eyed, not purposefully innocent to make Luke’s heart jump. No, your eyes were wide with worry because you disobeyed him. It wasn’t something you did to spite him or push him further over the line.

“I’m sorry.” The words leaked from your mouth and you scrambled to take Luke’s hand in yours, clutching his right with both of yours. “Luke, it was an accident, you know I’d never–”

His mouth was open in shock, briefly, before it snapped shut and his eyes twinkled with something downright predatory. His hand was limp in yours (though not pulling away) and he was still.

“But you did,” He interrupted. “You did.”

“I didn’t mean to.” You were trying to reason with him, but you knew the damage was done. Whatever he had planned for you when you got back to the house, it was going to be ten times worse now.

Luke just shook his head and removed his hand from your grasp, pulling back onto the highway and resuming the drive home. You weren’t far, the area around you looking more and more familiar with each passing second. The minutes stretched for what seemed like hours with Luke’s silence. You held your own hand nervously, pinching at the skin of you knuckles and avoiding Luke’s face. You couldn’t handle seeing the disappointment etched into his features.

Luke pulled into the garage of the apartment complex after just about five minutes. Suddenly, it hits you– you have the apartment all to yourselves tonight. There’s nothing to stop Luke, or you for that matter, from being as loud or as public as he wants. There’s a window in the living room, one that Luke mentioned after your last session. A spark traveled up your spine when you realize that tonight might be the night that he fucks you out in the open, for anyone to see.

When he shifted the car into park, Luke turned to you expectantly.

You apologized again, softly, once he looked at you.

His features softened then, seeing your apprehension. He reached out and took your hand. “Are you okay?”

“I feel bad that I didn’t listen,” you replied. Your eyes fell on your shoelaces, which were an off-white color after plenty of use. You made a note to yourself that maybe you should wash them soon. You wondered if they’d return to their original color. The shoes were much more interesting than looking up at Luke and meeting his eyes.

He tilted your head upward with a guided hand anyway. “You’re still my good girl,” he reassured. “Are you okay to keep going? Or do you want me to stop? I won’t be mad. Whatever you want, we can do it. We can leave this in the car and I can take care of you, baby.”

You could cry at his words, how great he is about your slip-up. You did want him to be sweet, but you knew that he needed this. He needed to work through whatever was going on in his mind and if he could just be in control of this, just for a little while longer, it would be so much easier for him later.

“I want to keep going,” you admitted.

“You know your word?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Tell me?”

“Flower.”

“That’s right, baby.” Luke pecked your lips, but when he pulled back he was back to business. “Now, are you ready to listen to me?”

You nodded, eyes trained on his. Neither of you blinked, a silent contest that he ended up losing (something that would normally cause you to gloat, but now doesn’t seem like the right time).

“When you get to the apartment, you’re going to strip. You’re going to sit on the edge of our bed. You’re going to touch yourself while you wait for me and I want you to watch yourself in the mirror. If you come, and you know I’ll know if you do, you’re not going to come at all tonight. I want you to bring yourself right to the edge and stay there. Can you do that for me?” He spoke slowly and clearly, his voice gravely and dominant. He didn’t stumble over his words or pause and “um” like he did in interviews. No, this was when Luke was at his surest. This was when he knew exactly what to do, exactly what to say.

“I can do that,” you agreed, unbuckling your seatbelt and gathering your things.

“I’m going to give you a five minute head start.”

You nodded at Luke, opened your door, and left the vehicle. When you got up to the apartment, you didn’t bother to hang your coat or purse on the hooks Luke put up just for you. You didn’t put your shoes neatly like the door like you normally did. Instead, you dropped your belongings and kicked the shoes off one by one on your walk to the bedroom. You shed your clothing in a similar manner, leaving a trail behind for Luke to chuckle at when he walked in the door.

Fully naked, you stared at yourself in the mirror that faced your bed. You read once that it was bad luck to have a mirror face a bed, that your reflection could like… capture your soul, or something, but you kept the mirror there anyway because if there was anything Luke enjoyed, it was seeing himself fuck you in the mirror. He liked to watch you ride him in reverse cowgirl, so he could see your ass jiggle as you bounced on his cock with his own eyes and your whole body in the reflection.

Sometimes, his hands would drift up and he would hold your tits, watching how he could envelop them in his palms. You tilt your head to the side, watching your own hands slide up your body to do the same.

For everything you could imagine Luke doing, there your hands were trying to satisfy yourself. If you closed your eyes, you could convince yourself that it was him instead.

His cock would disappear into your pussy, thrusting in and out and causing you to whine. His fingers would circle your clit or pinch your nipples. He would palm your ass, or reach up to wrap his hand around your neck. He would reach just that spot…

You didn’t ever hear it when Luke opened the door and joined you in the room. He thought you knew he was coming, with the way you were whining his name and begging for him. Your eyes snapped open as he closed the door behind him and you quickly pulled your fingers out from inside of you.

Luke walked over to you and sank onto his knees between your legs. “Gimme a taste, love.”

You offered him your fingers, which he took into his mouth. He sucked on them softly for far too short a time, in your opinion, with the way his cheekbones became more prominent as he cleaned your fingers of your wetness.

“Tastes good,” he told you with a smile when he was finished.

“Thank you,” you replied, practically a whimper. Your chest felt tight, like someone was squeezing your heart in your chest. You were waiting, just waiting, for Luke to tell you what was next.

He rose to sit on the bed next to you, guiding you to shift over so you were sitting on his lap. “I’m going to spank you,” he whispered against your lips. “Just ten times. That’s all. It’ll go fast, but I’m not going to go easy on you. I know you can take it.” Luke kissed you again, snuck his tongue into your mouth for a quick, far too quick pass, before pulling back. “Turn over, baby, and lean over my knee, yeah?”

Your movements were slow, your brain turning foggy again like it was in the car. Luke helped you over his knee, still clothed. The contrast between how clothed he was and how naked you were almost made you drool. It was nearly embarrassing, being this down bad for Luke when he seemed to be completely fine, unaffected.

Luke snapped you out of your thoughts with a spank. The pain was only there for a split second before Luke was rubbing soothing circles over your skin. You shivered when he dipped his hand lower and trailed a finger through your folds.

“So wet,” he murmured.

You clenched down and he pulled away, only to deliver a second slap to your cheek. You shivered, goosebumps rising over your arms.

“So, baby, tell me,” Luke began, bringing down his hand again. “Why am I spanking you?” He waited for you to answer before bringing his hand down again. “Because I swallowed– oh– when you told me not to.”

“Mhm. Why else?”

Another spank. Now, it was starting to sting. Your ass had turned a pretty shade of pink that caused Luke to bite his lip and run his hands over your skin, feeling the heat radiate off the surface.

You were quiet. You weren’t quite sure. Holding his come in your mouth had been the punishment for not pulling off when he told you to. You had been slow to say please in the car, but that wasn’t ever something Luke would punish you for, just something he’d remind you to do. “For, um…” You trailed off, not sure what to say.

Luke scoffed and spanked you three times, harsh enough that his handprint stayed imprinted on your body for longer than it normally did when he spanked you. You cried out, your head dropping and tears welling up in your eyes.

“‘For, um,’” he mocked. “You don’t know? You’re that fucking dumb that you can’t remember what happened less than an hour ago?”

“Lu, please,” were the words that escaped your mouth instead of an answer to his question. They were teary and he almost stopped, almost, just because of how your voice shook.

“Please what?” He spat, another slap echoing throughout the room.

“I don’t know,” You sobbed. “I don’t know why you’re mad at me.”

“Five more,” Luke warned you and you nodded.

It took a lot out of you, agreeing for five more, but Luke wouldn’t do anything he didn’t think you could handle.

“How about this, baby?” Luke said. Slap. “For touching John’s hair the same way you touch mine?” Slap. “For letting the boys guide you into the restaurant like you’re their girlfriend, not mine.” Slap. “For sending John off to get me a drink when I told you to do so?” Slap. “For not listening?” Slap. “For being a fucking brat?”

You wailed, slumped against Luke. He got a good look at you in the mirror, boneless over his knee. He took in the red skin of your ass, tracing the line of his raised handprint.

“You’re mine,” Luke continued, sounding off. You turned your head towards the mirror, eyes hazy but still able to make him out. He was waiting for you to look at him, for your eyes to meet his. “You can’t– you can’t treat him like he’s special.”

And suddenly, it all clicked. Luke was jealous because he was scared of the same thing you’d skated around in your conversation right after the game. Luke wanted to be special, wanted you to see him and need him. He needed you to need him, to let him take control and take care of you and decide things for you, all because he didn’t want to be the person who lost everything because he wasn’t good enough. Even the idea that John could possibly take Luke’s place, as preposterous as it was to you, sent Luke into a spiral.

“Fuck me, Luke,” you said, voice shaky and light because of the headspace you were in. “Take me. I’m yours. Prove it.”

Gently, so gently in contrast to his prior actions, Luke helped you up and lay you down on your back on the bed, placing a pillow under your hips. You lay there for a few minutes, blinking slowly and watching as Luke shed his clothes and rummaged through his dresser drawers for something. His back was to you and you smiled to yourself, too fucked out to let out a giggle, at his backside. When Luke turned around, two of his gameday ties in hand, he cocked his head to the side at your smile.

“What are you smiling about?” He asked.

“Boy butts are so funny,” You answered. “They’re just so small. Like… where are your hips, Lu?”

Luke blinked a few times, then shook his head. “Oh my God, you’ve lost it.”

“I’ve been thinking it. We need to get you in the gym.”

“You’re being a brat.”

“And your butt is small.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Luke scoffed. He had walked to the bed and was tying one of your hands to his headboard.

“I’m waiting.”

Luke huffed out a laugh at your response. “You’re making it hard to dom you, baby.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, was the road head not enough?”

Luke shushed you, moving to your other hand and tying that one with the other tie.

“What about the spitting in my mouth and spanking me?” You continue, goading him.

Luke crawled up your body, kissing up your stomach and chest and neck as he went.

One more sentence, and he wouldn’t find it so difficult to dominate you for this final stretch.

He’s hovering over your lips, his breath fanning out over them.

“I bet Johnny could do it better.”

Luke pulled back, jaw dropped. His mouth returned to a strait line and his eyes turned murderous. There it was, there’s the dominance that he thought he lost.

You smirked at him, proud of yourself for the comment you made, until Luke’s palm made contact with your cheek. Your head turned with the impact and you swore your heart stopped. You were too surprised to say anything. As the seconds of silence passed where you and Luke just stared at each other, same shocked expression on your face, you realized: huh. That’s not so different from when he spanks me.

Then, another second after that: That was kind of… hot.

“Are you okay?” Luke breathed out. He’s practically frozen in place.

“Yeah,” you replied. “Oh my God, Luke, yeah.” You pulled on the restraints above you, itching to get him inside of you. You circled your legs around his waist and raised your hips, trying to make contact with him. “Fuck, Lu, that was so hot, please fuck me.”

Luke blinked twice and searched your face for any discomfort, anything that would show him that you were upset or hurt by his slap. He hadn’t even done it intentionally, just driven by the pure rage of you mentioning John, saying that John could be better for you than Luke was.

It wasn’t until your wiggling hips caused his cock to make contact with your weeping pussy that he began to move.

He started by pinning your hips down.

“Greedy,” he chastised.

“I need you in me, don’t treat me like I’m made of glass,” you whined.

Luke positioned himself at your entrance and snapped his hips forward, burying himself inside you in one fell swoop.

It knocked all the breath out of you. Even after dating Luke for ages, his size still surprised you.

“How’s that, huh? Can you feel me? Do you think I’m treating you gently?” Luke asked, grinding his teeth as he fucked in and out of you. His skin was slapping against yours and he moved one of our legs so your knee was thrown over his shoulder. “You think Marino could fuck you like this?” He practically spat out John’s name, disgust coating each syllable.

“Probably,” you quipped, your voice snarky. You were itching for Luke to slap you again, or something, because he wasn’t giving it everything. He was still shaken up by the fact that he hit you at all.

“‘Probably,’” He repeated, incredulous. “You’ll never know, will you, baby?” He snaps his hips harder, faster. “This is my pussy. It only gets wet for me, you only spread your legs for me, you can be a slut all you want but only in the confines of these four walls. You can be bad, only right here… where I’m able to fuck. it. out. of you.”

You moan, wanton and long in the back of your throat. Your hands are aching to grab his hair, to twist the curls between your fingers. “Lu, my hand,” you told him.

“What about it?” He asked, not slowing his pace.

“Untie it, please!”

Luke looked down at you, confused. “Why?”

You whined, keening as your back arched and you squeezed his cock. “Need to get a hand on you, Lu, fuck. Wanna pull your hair. So pretty, so much prettier than John’s.”

“Oh,” he whispered, his stomach turning. He reached up to undo the knot, trying to continue to fuck you and untie it at the same time. When your hand came free, it immediately found purchase in his curls. Your fingernails scraped his scalp and his eyes rolled in the back of his head as he bucked into you with uncoordinated thrusts. “Fuck, Y/N,” he groaned. “Gonna make me come.”

“Please,” you begged. “Inside me, inside me–”

Your vision went white and your pussy was like a vice around him as you came.

“Yeah, yeah,” Luke agreed, voice strained. He watched the bliss wash over your features and whined. “Fuck you til you’re full, show everyone you’re all mine.”

It’s the thought of pumping his seed into you, making you round with his child, that sends Luke over the edge. No one would think to take you from him then, not that you’d ever go. No one would ever be able to call you theirs like he could call you his, not when he’s fucked you full, not when you’re carrying his baby.

“So perfect for me,” Luke mumbled in your ear, collapsing on top of you as he came down from his orgasm.

“Just for you, Lu.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” You paused, rubbing his back. “You know we have to talk about this, right? You’re more than enough and I don’t want you to feel insecure anymore.”

Luke pulled himself out of you, wincing at the sensitivity. “Can we talk about it tomorrow? I think we could both use some rest.”

He got up from the bed and walked into his bathroom, grabbing a towel and coming back to wipe you clean.

“Can it wait that long?” You fixed him with a look of concern.

“Baby.” Luke cut his eyes at you, then finished wiping you down. “It can wait until tomorrow.”

You shrugged. “Okay,” you agreed, then made yourself comfortable, pulling the covers over your body. You turned over, back to Luke, and spoke like it was an afterthought. “I loved it when you slapped me, you know.”

Luke groaned, leaned over to give you a kiss on your cheek. “I’m sorry I was mean.”

“Mmm, mean Luke gets me hot just like sweet Luke,” you replied. You turned your head and kissed his lips. “I like sweet Luke more, though. Sweet Luke cuddles me while I’m asleep.”

Luke laughed, going to toss the dirty towel in the dirty clothes hamper. “Sweet Luke will be back to cuddle you after he brushes his teeth,” he said.

When he returned, your breath was even and you had already fallen asleep, the ghost of a smile still gracing your lips. Luke bit his tongue, joined you under the covers, and threw his arm over the curve of your waist. Within just a few minutes, he was fast asleep next to you, softly snoring with his nose pressed into your hair.

notes: so, I, uh..... got a little carried away. I just kept having ideas. And I hope it worked out for me, to be fair. Hiiiiiii anon I hope this was good for youuuu love you bigggg I felt so awky-tawky writing some of this because as much as I would looooove a man to treat me like this, it feels so silly to write. Anyway. Loving y'all.

SEND MORE REQUESTS! I'LL GET TO THEM EVENTUALLY (they might not all be this long LOLLL)

#puck-luck's fics #luke hughes #luke hughes smut #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes x y/n #nhl smut #nhl x reader #nhl fic #nhl fanfiction #lh43 #andy writes anything🍄

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neptnszn · 1 month

Text

WE MISS YOU ! ★ SATOSUGU

suguru thinks it cant hurt to show his dear boyfriend what he's been missin'.

★cw: satosugu x reader, filming, sending stuffz (all consensual, so don't fret), lil bit of anal stuff - it's not so serious, squirting, dirty talk, this is set in season 1 except suguru n satoru made up n didn't die because im gonna be on an angst vibe l8r, reader, toru and sugu are dating yupp. if you can't already tell, this is not proofread ☠️🙏🏽

being in a poly relationship with satosugu is basically the epitome of spontaneity. you have to essentially teach yourself to expect the unexpected.

the unexpected being suguru coming home before satoru from a mission late into the night and suddenly getting the urge to play with your pretty pussy.

he's got your legs spread wide and panties pulled to the side, dark lashes fluttering down at your swollen cunt.

his expression is nothing drastic, but simply seeing his lips part as each glob of slick dribbles out of your hole has you wriggling in excitement. he's mesmerised.

“so wet..” he's so quiet you almost missed him—that, and the rough pad of his thumb finding its way on your clit, pressing down on it just to hear you mewl.

steadily, he sinks his middle finger inside, adding his ring finger shortly after.

the intrusion of his thick fingers has you keening, widening your knees for him as you lean your head back against the cool pillow.

he catches the sound immediately, hooded eyes flitting to your face and holding eye contact for seconds. you've never been able to look suguru in his eyes for very long, his natural bedroom eyes never fail to stir the pot of sin in your stomach.

suguru keeps the talking on a minimum tonight, too focused on the way your walls suck him in like you don't wanna let him go. he licks his lips and eases them deeper, adopting a moderately slow yet dizzying rhythm as he buries himself down to the last knuckle in your sopping cunt. his brows furrow with intrigue when you whine, watching the way you heave your chest to catch the air that's constantly being pushed out your lungs.

you look down between your spread thighs to see his two fingers stuffed inside, glistening in your sticky cream.

the filthy sight makes suguru exhale shakily, leaning his head forward to take a closer look. you cringe while he practically inspects your pussy, biting your lip to quieten a moan that flows from your throat when he begins picking up the pace. he's scissors your walls open for him and the sloppy squelches coupled with your whines makes suguru feel light.

the sorcerer pulls away to ground himself for a moment, sliding his fingers out of you and pops the wet digits in his mouth, leaving you feeling empty.

he grunts at your taste, taking long sucks and sighing when he lets them go.

seconds go by before he touches you again, and the feeling of not being filled by something itches your entire being. however; before you can even protest, suguru lets something slip that as your eyes widening.

“i wanna show satoru.”

it was both a statement and a question, looking at your face for any signs of distaste or discomfort. when he gets nothing but silent shock from you, he asks again. “can i, sweetheart?”

truth be told, the three of you have made mini movies before, only when shitfaced drunk.

but if you truly disliked them, you would've deleted them from your secured album long ago.

it has you thinking, fidgeting your pedicured toes in excitement. props to suguru, he might've just unlocked a new kink.

“yeah, yeah. let's show ‘toru,” you agree with shortened breath, nodding your head. a cat-like grin stretches on his lips and he reaches for his phone on the bedside table, your heart hammers in excitement as the phone unlocks with an audible click. the idea of showing your other lover the nastiness that you were up to while he's on a late night mission thrilled you.

once suguru has the camera app open and set to video, his amber eyes flicker to yours a final time to make sure you're completely okay with it. his green light is your subtle nod with your bottom lip between your teeth and he presses the red button.

suguru speaks up, wasting absolutely no time with his voice low, “look what you're missin’ out on ‘toru.” he lowers his free hand down to part your pussy lips with his index and middle finger—the milky white webs sticking on your puffed folds. he curses. “we miss you baby.”

he angles the phone a tad bit closer when he slips his fingers back inside, your hot walls spasming around him and he groans. “she's so tight ‘n wet. look at how much she loves it when I stuff her.” he sighs, resuming his rhythm of deep finger fucking your creamy cunt open. “you like havin’ our fingers stretchin’ you out, don't you?” his thumb is back on your clit, gliding along the skin in steady circles.

you feel good, lips parted as whines escape from your throat. his nasty words and being put on display has your lips twitching upwards. “uh huh—i love it suguru..”

he smiles endearingly as you babble, quickening the pace of his fingers before they tilt upwards, the tips of his fingers rub up on that cushiony spot. his dick throbs when you moan, the sound to slutty and raw. his amber orbs observe the way your hips raise off the bed and thighs quake, continuing his abuse on your g-spot. his admiration for how responsive you are took the spotlight tonight, his jaw remaining slacked like he forgot how to close it. “tell satoru how you're feeling, sweetheart.”

your words slur clumsily, white hot pleasure clouding all reason in your brain. “oooh, feels s'fucking good, ‘toru..right there—” you wail, reaching around your legs to grip the back of your thighs to keep yourself from falling apart too quickly.

it seems that your boyfriend before you had other plans though, because he speeds up his circles on your clit, coaxing more slick to drip from your cunt with every push and pull of his broad digits.

yet when a thought flashes through his mind, he pulls his fingers out with a swift motion, your now empty hole gaping slightly as you whine in frustration. with heavy breath, suguru slides his thumb along the trail of your milky slick that pools down to your ass and presses the pad of his thumb against the puckered hole.

a choked sob echoes from you when you feel the tip of his thumb breaching past your rim for a couple of seconds, zooming the camera in on the way both of your messy holes tense and squeeze at his actions. “oh my god…?!” you squeak, sounding almost devoid of oxygen due how bad you were caught off guard.

you're so far gone, the sheer shock of him messing with your asshole has your skin firing. satoru likes to toy with it when he takes you from behind but never went past the ring of muscle.through your glassy eyes, you can see sugur watching your face with a devilish grin with his phone in hand. that nasty fuck.

he retracts his thumb as quickly as he put it in, ring and middle finger pushing into your pussy again and ramming them in and out of your hole. the overwhelming stimulation brings your lost orgasm back to the pit of your belly, squealing with a lazy hand over your mouth and hot tears streaming down your face. it's intense, legs bouncing, gasping for air, curling your fingers into the sheets—

you're squirting before you can warn suguru, the fierce gush of your fluids drench his black sweats and slightly on his phone that he holds, jerking his own head back in surprise. you feel like your head’s been shoved underwater, the sounds of your pussy squelching muffled as your teary eyes roll all the way back in mind numbing pleasure.

“shiiit, look at that,” suguru coos as he watches you spritz all over him with amazed eyes. he uses a thumb to wipe his back camera, watching the video clear up a bit as you continue to cum, cum cum. “so nasty, can't help but squirt all over me.”

he finds himself addicted to the sight—drool seeping past your lips, legs hiked up in the air hair all messed up—he just fucking moans. he wants to see more. suguru juts his wrist back and forth, and practically pounds your pussy with his fingers and palm. “c'mon, c'mon..gimme another. show ‘toru how messy that sweet cunt is.”

the overstimulation burns through the pleasure, gripping his wrist with deathening grip as you squirm on the now wet bedsheets.

“fuckk, fuuuuck! i feel it, ‘toru!” you rasp, legs spread so wide, such a sinful image on his phone and suguru chuckles

“hear that? she misses you baby. c’mon pretty, show us how you cum,” he encourages, taking delight in the way you still momentarily as your cunt squelches louder, louder.

the second wave of your orgasm hits you like three trucks—crying and sobbing while suguru records you squirting on his fingers and the bed for the second time tonight, hypnotised praises falling from his lips.

when he pulls his fingers out he brings his phone forward, making sure to showcase your wet thighs and the thick cream that drips down to your ass and spreads your thighs. “jesus..y’did so well honey.” the sorcerer murmurs, taking his gentle palm and rubbing it on the expanse of your soft tummy, watching you shake and come down from your ridiculously intense orgasm.

you're barely even conscious as you hear his phone chime and watch suguru tap away on his phone through blurry eyes. he sets his phone aside and through your post nut haze, you can just about hear the buzz of your phone.

hopefully, satoru will like his little we miss you present.

BONUS.

Satoru wipes the sweat from his brow as he prepares to slip his blindfold back on, fiddling with the black elastic fabric around his head. The chilling bite of the night air prickles against his neck as he watches the remains of a curse disintegrate into nothingness. With a gentle sigh, he tucks his hands back into his pocket, feeling around for his mobile. His tall frame leans against the nearby brick wall and pulls out his phone, scrolling through his messenger chats to find Ijichi’s number for a ride back home. but through one free eye, he clicks on a notification.

3 new messages from suguboo 😮‍💨, sweetness 🩷, you.

God, he really needed to think of a name for that group chat.

suguboo 😮‍💨: ① video 01:47 AM suguboo 😮‍💨: miss you hon ☺️ next time you'll know not to piss yaga off and make him send you on a long ass mission when you could've done it in broad daylight. 01:47 AM suguboo 😮‍💨: love you, get home safe. 01:48 AM

And as Satoru clicked onto the video he felt his cock swell so fast, his mouth parted while he watched suguru finger and play with you. he felt so perverted, yet so lucky for having two lovers who'd send him something so lewd. he exhaled heavily as he tilted his head up to the sky, bringing a large hand to massage the bulge beneath his dark blue slacks.

you reacted “🤤” to suguboo 😮‍💨 opened.

typing..

you: you guys are TRYING to kill me. 02:25 AM

★ authors note: poly satosugu has been in my mind for a while and i fear that this just the beginning. i wanted to be done w this earlier but wtv ENJOY!

#gojo smut #geto smut #jjk smut #gojo x reader #jujitsu kaisen smut #satosugu #satosugu x reader #★—spicy ☄️#★—NEPTNSZN #satoru gojo x reader #geto x reader #bout time i make my masterlist before i lose my things

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fantasyescapes17 · 1 year

Text

Scandal (Part 4, Final)

The Viscount's sister with an enormous dowry, beauty and unmistakable talent- you began the London season as the most desired woman in any room. But Jeon Wonwoo (a man who would rather hide in the library than dance at a ball) is beyond your comprehension. Curiosity might have killed the cat, but it embroiled you into a scandal with a man you could never love.

Genre: Wonwoo x Female!reader. Regency!AU (It's sort of Bridgerton-esque in the sense that I give zero attention to historical accuracy and prioritize aesthetics lmao) You are Joshua's sibling so your maiden name is Hong but the reader has no other physical characteristics.

Word Count: 6.7k+

Part 1 Part 2 (Part 3)

Series Masterlist [Reading Candle and Manners, the earlier installments in this series first is strongly recommended as main character dynamics are introduced there.]

Wonwoo carefully helped you down from the carriage. He offered you his arm and you leaned closer to him than you would normally have done- taking the opportunity to catch a whiff of his soothing scent.

It was the evening of the children's performance and a number of villagers had gathered in the gardens behind the orphanage. Sister Lynn waited by the entrance, ready to greet you and Wonwoo as soon as you descended your carriage.

"Mr. and Mrs. Jeon," she greeted you breathlessly. "I am so grateful to you for coming tonight. The children are incredibly excited to be performing for you. I have already reserved seats in the garden. This way, please…"

You followed Sister Lynn. The garden had been set up with a makeshift stage and rows of chairs. As you walked past, many of the villagers stopped to curtsey and greet you politely. Their smiles were more genuine than before and you noticed more warmth coming from some of them than you had felt during your infrequent strolls in the market.

"The villagers seem more friendly than they used to," you murmured to Wonwoo. He angled his head slightly downwards to listen to you. "It must be because you are with me. They respect you."

Wonwoo shook his head. "I cannot take credit for that. This is your own doing. They have heard of your contributions for the orphanage."

You hesitated. "Surely not…"

"My family has been donating money to the orphanage for years but you are the first noblewoman to spend time with the children. The skills you are teaching the girls- music and French- these are skills the nobility usually hoards to themselves. By teaching them to these children, you have made a statement."

You looked up at Wonwoo in surprise.

"It was not my intention to make any statements. I only felt it was unfair that the children did not have the opportunity to learn these skills elsewhere."

"That these children deserve the same opportunities as noble-born children- that is a statement in itself."

You did not know how to answer so you stayed silent. Teaching the children had been a welcome distraction and not an act of rebellion against the societal class structure. You were not sure that you would have volunteered your time for something like this had you still been in London.

But you were not in London. Mrs. Jeon was not a fashionable London debutante. She was the wife of a nobleman in the countryside.

Perhaps it did not really matter what you would have done in your past life.

Sister Lynn had reserved a pair of seats in the front row that were draped in a red cloth to make them stand out. It was evident that you and your husband were the most important guests of the evening, and had been given the prime seats.

Fred came running up to you as soon as you sat down.

"Mrs. Jeon!" he greeted you shyly. He was holding something behind his back and he held it out to you. "I made this for you."

It was a small rose made of red paper. You could not help it- the innocent gesturebrought a smile to your face.

"Thank you, Fred! It is beautiful!" you told the young boy. He smiled and his ears turned pink before he ran back to join the other children waiting by the stage. Wonwoo looked down at the flower and then back up at you- the surprise on his face was unmistakable.

You raised an eyebrow at him. "You need not look so surprised, Wonwoo. As you should know, I have admirers everywhere."

Wonwoo shook his head.

"Your receiving a flower from a child does not surprise me. I was surprised because I have not seen you smile like that… since we were in London."

"Perhaps I have not had much reason to smile since we were in London. You should try giving me a rose sometime. I will be happy to grant you a smile in return," you teased.

Wonwoo looked at you for a long moment and said nothing in response. You wondered if you had overstepped; your husband had not been particularly receptive to flirtation even before he was married. You cleared your throat and turned away but were surprised when Wonwoo suddenly leaned in to murmur in your ear.

"I… would have given you more than one," he said in his calm, deep voice. "Roses must be given in threes."

You felt your heartbeat quicken.

"Empty words considering I have one rose from Fred and none from you, Mr. Jeon," you retorted lightly.

Wonwoo simply shook his head and turned his attention back to the stage as Sister Lynn called for all the guests to settle down; but you could see that the corner of Wonwoo's lips were curved up in the hint of a smile.

"Take your seats, please!" Sister Lynn called out to all the villagers who settled down in the rows of chairs behind you. "The performances are about to begin!"

You settled down to watch. Each of the children had prepared something different and although you had been spending plenty of time with them of late, their talents still surprised you. Fred and some of the other boys performed an amusing little play that they had written themselves. Amelia sang a beautiful French song that you had taught her. Little Jia could not sing- but she recited some poetry in French and her accent was flawless. All the children were treated to generous applause and praise by the audience.

Marie was the last to perform. You were surprised when four of the villagers came in carrying the heavy pianoforte from the orphanage and placed it by the side of the stage.

Sister Lynn called for the attention of the audience.

"Marie will play a waltz that she has been practising on the piano," Sister Lynn announced with a smile. "Our generous benefactress Mrs. Jeon informs us that this is the same waltz which was played last season at the ball hosted by the Duchess of Graham in London- so we are in for a very rare treat indeed."

Wonwoo turned to you with furrowed eyebrows.

"The ball hosted by the Duchess of Graham? Was that not the ball where we-"

"Hush," you said quickly. "Let us dance."

"Dance?" Wonwoo asked you in mild disbelief. "Here? At a children's performance?"

The opening notes of the waltz began. Marie's playing was excellent; you had taught her well. You stood and held your hand out to Wonwoo. Some of the other villagers had also risen from their seats and were beginning to dance- although, having never properly learnt the waltz, they were doing a clumsy imitation of the steps.

"It is the same Viennese waltz that is often played at balls in London. I am sure you recognise it- despite your aversion to social events," you quipped.

Wonwoo took your hand and followed you a short distance away from the chairs. You stepped closer to him- one hand clasped in his, the other placed on his shoulder. You had not worn gloves this evening as formal gloves had seemed excessive in the presence of the villagers.

Wonwoo's bare hand clasped yours. His fingers were warm as he placed his other hand on your back and the simple, but intimate gesture made your heart skip a beat.

"For a man that almost never danced at balls, you are a surprisingly good dancer," you told him with a smile as he slowly guided you into the waltz.

Wonwoo raised an eyebrow at you. "I was trained, like any other gentleman. My mother had me and my sister take formal dance lessons before we entered society."

"Yes; but skills such as dancing often grow rusty from lack of use," you teased him.

"You seem to be grossly underestimating the amount of dancing I did in London. It may not have been enough to suit my mother or the young ladies of the ton, but it was still plenty. I am surprised that you and I have never danced before."

You laughed at the hypocrisy. "How can you possibly be surprised that we have never danced before when you have never asked me to dance?" you demanded.

Wonwoo bit his lip. "You would not have accepted me."

"Nonsense. You were the one who was miserly about granting dances. I never turned one down. I even danced with Mr. Park multiple times- although he constantly trod on my toes and ruined a very pretty pair of shoes I had."

"Then I am out of excuses," Wonwoo confessed.

"You could have told me that you were too nervous to dance with me because of my superior dancing skills," you offered with a playful smile. "That would have been an acceptable excuse."

Wonwoo chuckled. "No. That would have been a bare-faced lie."

You allowed Wonwoo to lead you gently and expertly through the waltz. Many of the villagers had paused their own dancing to watch you- but Wonwoo seemed entirely unconcerned about the audience that you had gathered. He never faltered in his step.

For a brief moment it felt magical. The dark thoughts and worries and loneliness that had incessantly bogged down every waking hour of your life for the past few months disappeared and were replaced with a sort of childish giddiness.

Wonwoo's bare fingers entwined with yours; and his dark but gentle eyes looked down at you steadily without once avoiding your gaze. He lightly bit his soft lips in an attempt to concentrate on the waltz and for a quick moment you could see what you had never seen before. You caught a glimpse through the windows of the fortress he had built around his heart and saw the shadow of a vulnerable, hesitant, caring man trapped on the inside.

"Wonwoo…"

The waltz came to an end. There was a loud applause for Marie and also for you and your husband- many of the villagers had admired your skilful dancing.

"Thank you for the dance," you told your husband lightly as you took a step back from him. He nodded and released you quickly. He was flustered as he only now realised that you had been observed by most of the villagers.

"We should have more music!" one of the villagers suggested. "So that we might dance more!"

Marie, still sitting at the piano, blushed with embarrassment.

"I only learned how to play the one waltz," she admitted shyly. She looked up and her eyes met yours across the garden. "But Mrs. Jeon can play so many more! Mrs. Jeon, would you play us a song that everyone can dance to?"

You hesitated and looked around at the expectant faces. "I-I couldn't. This performance was for the children, it is not my place-"

Wonwoo interrupted you. "I think you should play."

You gave him a sharp look. "What?"

"Play them a song," he replied simply.

You glanced around at the watching villagers and then leaned closer to Wonwoo, lowering your voice "At the children's performance? I hope you are not going to accuse me of being vain if one of them cries because I played better than them?"

"I think Marie may cry if you do not play."

You were surprised when Wonwoo gently took your hand and led you towards the instrument. Marie beamed and vacated the seat for you- you sat in front of the piano and took a deep breath.

"Well- how about a lively one?" you suggested.

You sat down and allowed your fingers to dance over the instrument in a lively waltz- something that the villagers would find entertaining despite not knowing the exact dance steps. Many of them began to dance again. Marie sat down on the stool beside you to watch you play with great interest.

Wonwoo moved a short distance away and leaned against the garden fence to watch you play in silence. You had to focus on the keys so you could not afford to look at him very much- but Marie's eyes were constantly flickering towards your husband.

"Mr. Jeon seems to admire your playing greatly," Marie whispered to you innocently. "Is that how he fell in love with you? Did you perform for him in London and he fell in love?"

You wanted to laugh.

"That is not what happened," you told her. "Where did you get that idea?"

Marie looked flustered. "I read in a book that gentlemen are often impressed by ladies who have excellent musical skills."

"True," you admitted. "But that was not the case with Mr. Jeon."

"Then how did he fall in love with you?"

You bit your lip as you tried to focus on the tune you were playing. You could not blame Marie for her innocent question; it was impossible for her to understand the circumstances behind your marriage that made it difficult for you to answer. For all she knew, you and Mr. Jeon were a perfectly happy married couple.

"You shall have to ask him that," you said simply.

Marie gasped. "I could never! Mr. Jeon looks so terribly serious all the time- although Sister Lynn says he is a very kind person and that we must be very grateful to him."

"But he could smile more," you agreed.

"Yes, I suppose he could. He is frowning at us even now," Marie giggled.

The waltz came to an end; your face was warm with pleasure and you could not stop the smile from spreading across your face when the villagers applauded your performance generously. You stood and thanked them as Wonwoo approached you.

"It is growing late," he told you quietly as he offered you his arm. "Perhaps we should take our leave."

Marie suddenly stood from the stool as well. Her face was flushed as she looked up at your husband.

"Mr. Jeon," she began boldly. "What is it that made you fall in love with Mrs. Jeon?"

Wonwoo looked taken aback by the young girl's sudden question. His eyes widened and he turned to you in confusion. You shook your head lightly- don't ruin her innocence, play along, you tried to tell him with your eyes.

Wonwoo paused for a moment and then looked back down at the little girl.

His response was quiet.

"I fell in love with her because she shines so brightly."

—------------------------------------------------------------

You awoke early the next morning.

The sunlight streaming through your curtains was not as bright as usual. You were accustomed to sleeping in rather late; it was not as though you were needed anywhere in the mornings, and Mrs. Betsy was more than happy to keep breakfast for you even if you did not come downstairs in time.

But for once, you awoke unusually early and went downstairs hoping- almost expecting- to see your husband.

"Good morning, Mrs. Jeon!" the housekeeper greeted you in surprise when she saw you appear in the breakfast parlour. "You are awake earlier than usual. I will bring out your breakfast momentarily."

You nodded and sat down. "Thank you, Mrs. Betsy. Has… has Mr. Jeon eaten?"

Mrs. Betsy blinked at you in surprise. It was rare for you to ask about your husband; the two of you almost never ate breakfast together.

"I am afraid Mr. Jeon left early this morning for the neighbouring town to take care of some matters of the estate," she informed you simply. "He should return tomorrow."

You nodded. "Oh. I see."

"Were you expecting him?"

"No, no particularly," you said dismissively. You felt suddenly embarrassed that your housekeeper had noticed your disappointment. You thought that after the lovely evening you had spent with your husband at the orphanage, he might actually have breakfast with you. You cleared your throat. "Has the post arrived?"

"Yes, of course."

You busied yourself reading a letter from Ella that contained some gossip about the ton- but your eyes stared blankly at her words without taking them in. Your mind was still replaying moments from the previous night.

The feeling of Wonwoo's fingers entwined with yours, the small smile on his handsome face when you teased him, the way you had been lost in his dark eyes as he guided you through the waltz…

You had danced with possibly hundreds of men before but had never quite felt the same way.

Was it because he was your husband? Was it because, for the first time since your marriage, you had allowed yourself to look at Jeon Wonwoo, really look at the man clearly instead of through lenses clouded by your own self-pity and misery, and see him for who he truly was? That small glimpse of Wonwoo behind his fortress walls was not enough.

You wanted more.

You suddenly craved more of him.

You felt restless for the next two days as you paced the house and waited for Wonwoo's return. You had never bothered to do so before- your husband often spent the night away when he was off on business matters, and you had never once cared to worry about his return.

It was the third day after his absence that you finally heard the sound of the carriage rolling up to the Jeon manor. Snowball perked up his ears and ran to the front entrance of the manor faster than you. The carriage had stopped in front of the main entrance and a man descended- but it was not your husband.

"Joshua?" you asked in shock.

The Viscount and Viscountess Hong descended the carriage. Snowball immediately leapt at your brother, and your sister-in-law came to throw her arms around you.

"Oh; my dear, it is such a relief to see you!" she cried as she embraced you warmly. You embraced her in return- it had been months since you had seen your family and you could not help the tears that pricked your eyes.

"I have missed you so much," you admitted as you hugged her back. Joshua finally managed to hand Snowball off to a servant and came over to give you a warm hug as well. Your brother gripped your shoulders and frowned down at you.

"You look terrible," he told you bluntly.

His wife swatted him. "Joshua!" she cried. "How can you say that to her?"

You did not mind at all; you were far too happy to see them and you called for Mrs. Betsy and the servants to carry their belongings inside and prepare rooms for them. Joshua watched you flitter about with a frown on his face, as you ushered them into the parlour and called for tea and refreshments.

"What brings you here?" you asked Joshua eagerly as your brother and sister-in-law sat down in the parlour. "You did not even write that you were coming- or did I miss your letter? Perhaps I have not been keeping up with my correspondence…"

"We will not be staying long," Joshua replied simply. "We have only come to take you with us."

You blinked at him. "Take me with you? Where?"

"Home, sister."

You stared at him in confusion. "Home? But what…" your eyes widened, suddenly fearing the worst. "Is something wrong with Mother?"

"Mother is healthy and well. Luckily, she does not know what you have been going through," Joshua replied simply. His jaw was clenched; your brother suddenly seemed very unlike himself. "Instead of asking the servants to prepare rooms for us, I think it would be best if you asked them to pack your belongings."

"I don't… I don't understand…"

The Viscountess sat beside you and took your trembling hand in hers. Her voice was gentle. "My dear, I know you have been trying to hide it in your letters but we are aware of how miserable you have been. Mr. Jeon has been corresponding with your brother. We are very worried for your health."

You stiffened. "My health is fine-"

"Mr. Jeon tells us that you have been quite depressed. That you sit in the drawing room for days on end without moving, that you never speak and you never smile. He wrote to us to say that he thought it was best if you went back home."

You felt like you had been slapped.

"Wonwoo wrote to you to take me home?"

Joshua nodded. "Yes. He wrote to me on Sunday and we left immediately upon receiving the letter. I know that you probably did not want to scare us, sister… but you should have said something in your letters. We would never have expected you to stay here if we knew you were so miserable even after all this time."

You could barely hear what your brother was saying. Your head suddenly spun; had Wonwoo done this? He had called your brother to come take you away without a word? Now, after you had finally reached out to him and were beginning to see a glimpse of hope in your future with him?

You felt…

Betrayed.

You stood suddenly. "No, this does not make sense. Surely Wonwoo would not have done this now. Not after the other evening, I…"

"Sister-"

"Mrs. Betsy!" you yelled for the housekeeper, your voice trembling. The older woman came running into the room, wide-eyed. "Where exactly is my husband?"

"I-I believe he is at the inn in the neighbouring town, madam-"

"Send a manservant on horseback to him at once and tell him that I demand him to return home this very instant," you ordered shakily. When the housekeeper stared at you without moving, you clenched your fists. "Was I not clear, Mrs. Betsy? I require this to be done right now!"

"Of course, madam."

You took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself. Surely there was some misunderstanding. It would be resolved. Wonwoo had simply expressed his concerns about your behaviour and your overprotective brother had jumped to his own conclusions…

"You should both go to your rooms to refresh yourselves and dress for supper," you told your brother and sister-in-law. "I… need a few moments."

"Of course."

You felt light-headed for the rest of the evening. Your thoughts were bogged down by a dense fog in your mind as you waited for Wonwoo to arrive. Your stomach clenched, and although you finally sat down to supper with the Viscount and Viscountess, the delicious food only made you feel nauseous.

You had just begun to eat when Mrs. Betsy came into the dining room hurriedly.

"Mr. Jeon has arrived," she announced.

You leapt to your feet as Wonwoo entered the dining room. His eyes were red and his dark hair tousled and windswept; he appeared to have ridden here directly on horseback. He avoided looking at you.

"Viscount Hong, Viscountess Hong," Wonwoo greeted them with a stiff nod. His voice was slightly hoarse.

Your sister-in-law smiled at him.

"Thank you for having us at your home, Mr. Jeon," she said before turning to your brother expectantly. The Viscount said nothing. He did not even stand to greet Wonwoo. His wife nudged him sharply.

"Joshua!" she mumbled.

Your brother looked up at Wonwoo with an expression you had almost never seen on the Viscount's famously kind and gentle countenance- carefully controlled anger.

"I have nothing to say to Mr. Jeon," Joshua replied.

Wonwoo's eyes widened but he was silent. He simply nodded and turned his head away, almost as though accepting defeat. You stood from the table abruptly.

"That does not matter, since I have plenty to say to him," you interrupted the tense silence before striding to the dining room entrance. "Let us speak in your study, Wonwoo."

You did not look back as you took determined, trembling steps towards Wonwoo's study. You could hear your husband following you. You stood silently, one hand on the back of a chair to balance yourself as you waited for Wonwoo to enter the room and close the door behind him.

"Did you write to my brother to tell him to take me home?" you demanded.

Wonwoo was silent. His body was facing you but his eyes were unfocused, looking at the polished wooden floor near your feet instead of into your eyes. His jaw was clenched tightly.

"Wonwoo?" you demanded again, when multiple seconds had passed and he still had not answered.

"...Yes," he replied. "Yes, I did."

Your legs felt weak and your grip on the back of the chair tightened- you were now using it as a crutch to stay standing upright.

"Why?" you asked quietly.

Wonwoo took a deep breath. He would still not look at you. His entire body was stiff and he seemed perfectly satisfied to continue staring at the floor without answering you.

"Wonwoo!" you demanded again.

"I don't know what to say."

You felt a burst of anger explode inside of you at the sight of his lips pressed firmly together.

"Well, you will have to say something! You cannot just stand there in silence and allow me to come up with my own explanations for this… this drastic step that you seemed to think was necessary to take without consulting me! How exactly is this supposed to work? We are married. Do you want me gone for a month? A year?"

Wonwoo said nothing.

"Speak to me!" you yelled. The frustration was building rapidly inside of your chest but you could see that the more you demanded it, the more Wonwoo seemed to be shutting himself off from you. His head hung low and he still would not look at you. His eyes were closed.

"Wonwoo," you said slowly, your voice trembling with anger. "If you do not explain yourself then I have no choice but to assume the worst. I will have to assume that living with me and even speaking to me is so wholly repulsive to you that you cannot stand to do it for a moment longer."

Wonwoo was silent.

You felt your heart sink. It felt as though Jeon Wonwoo had reached inside of your chest and used his cold silence to rip out every remaining shred of hope and dignity you had left.

You felt your throat close up. You were foolish. Foolish to think anything could come of this, foolish to still have entertained any hope in the possibility of happiness after months and months of this slow torture.

"Very well," you whispered. "I will pack my things immediately."

You felt yourself walk out of the study as though you were in a dream. Everything was blurred; the walls seemed to dance in your vision as you ran up the stairs and ordered Rosie and two other maids to bring a trunk and pack all your belongings. Your own voice felt disembodied… almost like it belonged to someone else.

The maids were shocked, but the expression on your face prevented them from asking questions. They hurried to obey your orders. You stood stiffly in your room and watched in a daze as the maids pulled dresses out of your wardrobe and began to fold them into the trunks.

The door to your bedroom opened without a knock.

"Leave us," you heard Wonwoo mumble quietly to the maids. They stood and quickly left the room as Wonwoo entered and closed the door behind him.

"Finally thought of something to say?" you asked him coldly.

Wonwoo walked to your bed and sat down on the edge of it. His broad shoulders were hunched and he bent his head forwards as he ran his fingers through his tousled hair.

"I need a moment," he whispered, almost inaudibly.

You waited. Every moment of silence was agony. It could have been second, minutes… time seemed to lose meaning but finally Wonwoo lifted his head to look up at you. His eyes were red and his voice cracked when he spoke.

"I don't know how to do it," he choked out. "I don't know how to make you happy."

"What?"

"I didn't think it would be this difficult. I thought it would pass- that I could learn in time, but I just don't know. It kills me inside knowing that you are going through so much pain. I can't watch it any longer. I can't watch you become a shell of the person you used to be. You used to light up any room you were in like the blazing sun. I can't watch as that light inside of you dies, slowly, with each passing day that you are here."

"Wonwoo…"

He took a shaky breath. "I've failed. But I can't continue to let my failures as a husband destroy you. You deserve a chance at happiness."

You stared at him. Wonwoo's fists were clenched as he gripped the wooden frame of your bed. His knuckles were white.

"So, your solution," you said slowly. "Your solution was to go behind my back and write to my brother to come and take me away-"

"Your family will know how to fix-"

"Shut up," you hissed. Wonwoo looked up at you in shock. "I don't want to hear your excuses. I have told you this before and I will say it again, Mr. Jeon. I am a grown woman who is capable of making her own choices and decisions. I will not be treated like a child- not by the Viscount and certainly not by my husband!"

Wonwoo swallowed and said nothing.

"And the audacity- the audacity you have to claim that you have failed at something that you never once tried to do!" you snapped. "Tell me, Mr. Jeon. Tell me what valiant attempts you made to make me happy or even be a good husband to me."

"I-I tried to give you your space, your freedom…"

You laughed. "Space? Freedom? You abandoned me here. You built an impenetrable iron wall the size of a godforsaken fortress between us and you left me here to rot!"

"Every conversation we have had somehow turns to an argument. You never wanted this marriage, you never wanted to marry me, and I did not want to force myself upon you unwillingly!" Wonwoo retorted, his eyes flaming.

"Then you should have said so! You should have spoken to me instead of running away because a marriage cannot sustain itself on silence, Wonwoo! No relationship can sustain itself on silence! You had to speak to me and tell me how you were feeling!"

Wonwoo stood and went to the large window in your bedroom. He turned his back to you as his hand grabbed the windowsill.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

Your anger slowly deflated. "No, I… you are not alone in fault. I share the blame. I was too wrapped up in feeling sorry for myself and mourning the life I lost. I watched you build distance between us and I did nothing to stop it. I never gave this marriage a chance. Neither of us gave this marriage a proper chance. For heaven's sake, that connecting door has been locked since our wedding night."

Wonwoo's eyes briefly flickered towards the connecting door that led to his bedroom and nodded.

"Maybe so," he admitted quietly. "Maybe we never really tried hard enough."

You stepped closer to him.

"But I thought things were changing," you confessed weakly. "I thought maybe we were finally beginning to understand each other. After that night at the orphanage, when we danced together and you were speaking to me and smiling at me, I finally, finally felt…"

Wonwoo turned to look at you.

"What?" he asked gently.

"I finally felt like you were my husband," you finished. "But clearly I was mistaken, since whatever happened that evening prompted you to write to my brother to take me away."

Wonwoo bit his lip.

"I saw how happy you were that night," he admitted. "I know that we never spent much time together or got along in London but… whatever disagreements we may have had, you were always someone that shined so brightly wherever you went. I saw that light die out when you married me. I was beginning to think it was gone forever. But I saw a glimmer of it when we danced and when you played the piano. I thought it was better if you went back to your family before that light died out completely."

You stepped closer to him. Wonwoo's dark eyes searched for yours and you could see the way his lower lip trembled.

"I was happy that night," you told him gently. "But it was not because I missed dancing or music. It was because I finally felt some hope for my future. I caught a glimpse of you-of the real you that you hide behind your silence- and I thought that if only I could see more of that man, I might someday come to love him."

Wonwoo's jaw tightened. "Do you mean that?"

"More than anything."

He turned away from the window and closed the distance between you both with one large stride- and then he kissed you.

You had not expected it. It was not something that you had ever even dared to imagine, kissing Wonwoo. But his warm hands slid into the strands of your hair and he pulled you flush against him as his lips closed softly and passionately over yours.

You took a few moments to react. You had never been kissed before, but your body was a few steps ahead of your mind and it melted naturally and comfortably against Wonwoo's. Your hands grasped at his broad shoulders and you pulled yourself closer to him. Your lips parted for him eagerly, inhaling his familiar scent, and enjoying the rush of adrenaline that was pumping through every inch of your body.

Wonwoo pulled back breathlessly after a few moments- he pressed his forehead to yours and you felt his warm breath against your face.

"Perhaps-" he whispered breathlessly. "Perhaps I should not have…"

"No," you insisted as you brought your hand up to rest on the side of Wonwoo’s neck and brushed his cheek with your thumb. "No, Wonwoo, we should have done this long, long ago."

He nodded. You felt his shoulders relax and his dark eyes flickered down to yours. There was a hesitation mixed with a deep longing behind them.

"Do you still want me to return with my brother?" you whispered.

He swallowed. "I don't… I don't know."

"What does that mean?"

"I want you to be happy," Wonwoo said firmly. "If you stay here, and you are still lonely and miserable…"

"I don't know where or how I will be happy," you told him gently. "But if things here change… if we open up to each other more, if we can spend more time together and discuss our feelings and set aside all the guilt and resentment and anger…"

Wonwoo took a deep breath.

"I don't know if I can make you happy," he admitted to you hesitantly. "I don't know if I can make you love me."

"It's not a question of making me do anything, Wonwoo. You need to stop considering my happiness as some burden that you have to bear in silence, and simply be here, with me. That is all I ask."

"I can do that."

"And I will stop pitying myself and mourning the life I left behind," you told him. "And I will try-genuinely try- to rebuild a new life with you."

"Do you think we can do this?"

"We owe it to each other to try."

"All right," Wonwoo said gently. He brought his hand up to caress your cheek and you saw the warmth, the hope in his own expression. You saw the vulnerability in his eyes when he spoke. "Then let us try again. Together. Stay with me, please."

"I will."

—-----------------------------------------------

Viscount Hong was not pleased when you informed him that you would not be going back with him the next morning. He watched in stony silence as his wife arranged for all their belongings to be reloaded onto their carriage.

"Joshua," you tried to soothe his anger.

He ignored you. He was looking at your husband.

"You made me a promise," Joshua said coldly, frowning at Wonwoo. "The night when the scandal broke out, when you offered to marry my sister… you promised me that you would do everything in your power to keep her safe and happy. I trusted you and vouched for you; as a friend and a fellow gentleman."

Wonwoo took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I made mistakes, I-"

"Wonwoo, stop," you insisted firmly. "You don't need to explain anything to my brother, what happened between us is about our marriage-"

Joshua frowned. "Then how do I trust him again?"

"There is no need for you to trust Wonwoo. You can trust me. I am telling you that I want to stay here, Joshua- it is that simple."

The Viscountess called out to her husband-"My dear, the carriage is waiting!" and Joshua finally embraced you in a brotherly hug.

"If something happens, you will write to me," he told you firmly.

"I will."

"Goodbye, sister."

You waved goodbye to the Viscount and Viscountess as they boarded their carriage and it rattled away from the estate. Wonwoo seemed tense- you turned to him with a smile and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Well," you said with a small smile. "Perhaps I should congratulate you on being the only person in this world who has managed to make an enemy out of Viscount Hong."

Wonwoo laughed dryly.

"Very humorous, Mrs. Jeon. I am glad that it pleases you for your brother to hate me," he replied.

You smiled. "He will forgive you."

"I hope so. I am almost grateful that we are not in a position to return to society in London just yet- I know that is where he keeps his duelling pistols."

You giggled. You began to walk back to the manor and you were surprised when Wonwoo suddenly reached out and took your hand in his, lacing your fingers together. There was a small smile on his handsome face.

"How bold," you quipped lightly. "Do you usually go about touching women in this intimate manner?"

"Only when that woman is my wife and I am in my own home," Wonwoo replied.

"Is this an indication that I should unlock the connecting door between our bedrooms?" you teased him lightly.

His ears turned red. "If it pleases you."

"But would it please you?"

Wonwoo pressed his lips together tightly but his grip on your hand did not loosen. "Or perhaps," he suggested with a small smile. "We could go on a honeymoon instead. Have you ever seen Rome?"

You stared at him in disbelief. "Are you serious?"

"Very much so."

"We have been married for many months now. What will people think if we suddenly abandon the estate and take off for Rome like a pair of newlyweds?" you demanded.

Wonwoo chuckled. "People already think many things about us. I sincerely doubt that a trip to Rome will be the breaking point for our reputation in society."

"I will need new dresses if we are to go to Rome," you said thoughtfully. "The seamstresses in the village are competent but they hardly know the latest fashions."

Wonwoo raised an eyebrow.

"I am sure that can be arranged," he replied.

"And new shoes and the latest jewellery. There is no silk to be found in this part of the countryside; we shall have to have it brought in from London. Perhaps a little extra fabric would be best- I've been meaning to have the curtains and upholstery in the drawing room replaced- they are quite dreary. The dining room could do with some refurbishment as well. And Wonwoo…"

He hummed. "Yes?"

You smiled at him. "I have been thinking that a new grand pianoforte would be an excellent addition to the library."

Wonwoo blinked. For a moment his dark eyes were unreadable and you were worried that you had gone too far- but he suddenly used your entwined hands to pull you into him and his other arm wrapped around your waist.

His head came down to place a soft kiss against the side of your neck and he whispered hoarsely in your ear.

"Mrs. Jeon."

"Hmmm," you mumbled.

"Unless you wish to return with your Viscount brother, perhaps it would be best not to spend the entire Jeon family fortune in one day?"

You bit your lip as you nodded. "Y-yes, of course."

"Good," Wonwoo replied as he released you gently. Your face had turned warm and he smiled at how flustered the simple intimate contact had made you. "Let us have breakfast."

"But I will need the dresses-"

He sighed. "Of course, my dear."

—------------------------------------------------------

#wonwoo scenarios #seventeen scenarios #wonwoo angst #wonwoo x reader #seventeen x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #seventeen imagines #regency!au #seventeen fanfiction

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londonspirit · 7 months

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Was there ever any doubt that Our Flag Means Death Season 2 wouldn't end in thrilling fashion after taking all of us on a rollercoaster of emotions? Probably not, but show creator David Jenkins and writer John Mahone, who teamed up on the script for the finale episode, seemed distinctly driven to squeeze as many tears out of us watching as possible. With the dynamic between Stede (Rhys Darby) and Ed (Taika Waititi) seemingly fractured as of the season's penultimate installment, it was unclear how — or if — the two men might eventually reconcile, but a new threat to the Republic of Pirates, alongside Ed's realization that maybe he isn't meant to be a fisherman after all, sends the two back into each other's arms, literally.

While some characters are afforded something resembling a happy ending, with Stede and Ed deciding to try their hand at being innkeepers as they watch the Revenge sail off into the sunset under Frenchie's (Joel Fry) command, not every single crew member emerges from the finale battle unscathed, chief among them Ed's first mate and formerly ruthless right-hand Izzy Hands (Con O'Neill), whose parting words to Ed may be the very thing that the former Blackbeard needs to hear in order to fully come to terms with accepting the man inside him all along.

Ahead of the Season 2 finale premiering on Max, Collider had the opportunity to reconnect with Jenkins to discuss some of the episode's biggest moments. Over the course of the interview, which you can read below, Jenkins explains why Izzy's speech is both a eulogy for the character and a statement about the show itself, how the Season 2 premiere and finale bookend each other with those beach scenes, and why he wanted to use that Nina Simone needle drop in particular. He also discusses why the season concludes with a wedding at sea, what the finale sets up for Season 3, and more.

COLLIDER: I feel like my first question, in a completely non-serious way, is: how dare you, and my immediate follow-up is: what gives you the right?

DAVID JENKINS: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Also, I am God to these creatures! But it was hard. It was a hard decision.

The episode kicks off with a somewhat more lighthearted moment, which is Ed realizing he's not cut out for the fishing life after all. On the heels of Stede and Ed’s big fight in the episode prior, why did it feel important to have Ed humorously have the revelation of, “This isn't what I really want after all?”

JENKINS: Well, I like the idea that Season 1 is about Stede’s midlife crisis, and Season 2 is about Ed's midlife crisis. I like that he had a little prima donna moment where he thought he could go and be a simple man, and then it's revealed that he really isn't a simple man; he’s a complicated, fussy, moody guy. No, he's not gonna be able to catch fish for a living. For him to be told that, “At your heart, you're a pirate. You have to go back and do it,” he doesn't want that to be true, but it was true.

Speaking of characters that have a revelation about themselves, Izzy's speech about piracy, about belonging to something and finding family, feels like the thesis statement of this show. Was that the intention behind it?

JENKINS: When I wrote that, I wanted to give Izzy a proper eulogy for himself. He gives a eulogy for himself, but it felt true writing it. Yeah, this is how he sees piracy, and also that's not how he would have viewed piracy in the first season. He would have viewed it as, “I'm here to dominate you, so you work for the boss.” By the end of his journey in the second season, he sees that they built him a unicorn leg, he learned to whittle, and he mentored Stede. He's learned that, actually, a pirate crew works differently than what he thought and that they are all in it together, and they do this for each other. So it felt right for Izzy’s arc, and it is kind of an overall statement about the show.

It's interesting that you call it a eulogy, because, by the time we get to the scene where we know Izzy's not going to make it, it feels like he's using his last moments for Ed more than himself. He has those final words to Ed of, “They love you for who you are. Just be Ed.” Is that the kind of the thing that Ed needs to hear in the moment — even as he's losing, arguably, someone he's known even longer than Stede and is just as close to on an emotional level?

JENKINS: Well, I like that Izzy gives that to him, and then Izzy also apologizes to him because he says that he fed his darkness and that they were both Blackbeard together — that Blackbeard wasn't just Ed, that they did it together. In a way, it's very much for Ed, that speech. The “we were Blackbeard” is claiming that he is also Blackbeard, that Blackbeard is not just Ed’s creation, and I like that for him, too, because he's worked so hard for that — and then just to say, “You can give it up.” There can never be a Blackbeard again as far as Izzy’s concerned because he's dying, and they did that together.

I wanted to ask you about the Stede/Ed reunion. We get Ed finding Stede's love letter that was written all the way at the beginning, and then also the beach fight/reunion. It's definitely a callback to the dream, but was that always the way that you wanted to bookend the season? Here's the dream and the fantasy, and then this is the real moment that we get to have?

JENKINS: It was nice. I knew that I wanted to have the Republic of Pirates at the beginning and end up with the Republic of Pirates. I think the reunion of it was a nice surprise, but it felt right. And finding the letter in a bottle — if you have a letter in a bottle, it's thrown out somewhere, it has to pop up somewhere, you have to see one of them at some point. But yeah, there's a circular nature to it, and that's why I thought it would be good to use Nina Simone at the beginning and at the end as a callback. This dream in this way did come true, and they made it come true.

When I talked to you at the beginning of the season, you mentioned the Nina Simone needle drop, but couldn't say anything about the significance of it at the time. I talked to [music supervisor] Maggie [Phillips], as well, about the needle drops throughout Season 2, and she said you always had a very clear vision for what song you wanted there. A lot of people know the original, but why did you pick Nina's cover? It strikes a different tone; there's a hopefulness to it in a lot of ways.

JENKINS: Yeah, it's wistful. There's a lovely part that sounds like church bells, which is great for the wedding part of it, and then it's just moving. I love her interpretation of it. It’s wistful, positive, and it felt like the end of the show to me. There's a size to it that, up against these images, I just was like, "Yeah, this would be really good. I want this to be in the show."

I did want to ask you about the wedding because on the heels of Izzy's death, it's bittersweet, but also, it's a sign this crew has become a family, and they can still find happy moments and reasons to celebrate. We’ve seen Black Pete and Lucius reconnect, but also reconcile and navigate through Lucius's problems and have their own, almost parallel trajectory journey as a couple alongside Stede and Ed in a way. Was that something that you always wanted to close the season on, the two of them getting hitched?

JENKINS: Yeah. We knew we wanted a matelotage in the season, which is the real term they had for marrying crew members. And yeah, they've always been in relief to Stede and Ed, and they're a little bit ahead of Stede and Ed in how much they can talk about things. So to have a bunch of family things in the season, like a funeral and a wedding, and have the parents kind of watch the kids sail away, felt right, and all of those things seem to work well together and build on each other.

Speaking of Ed and Stede watching everybody sail off, that was an outcome that was somewhat surprising, I think because where they are, you think maybe they're going to end up sailing off with everybody else.” But no, instead, it's just this sweet, lovely note of them getting to play house for a little while. What inspired that turn for them?

JENKINS: I think that they've come to the point in the relationship where they say, “Yeah, we're gonna give this a try,” and that's where the story really gets interesting. That will-they-or-won't-they is interesting to a point, but the real meat of it is always like, “Can they make the relationship, and can they do better than Anne and Mary?” That's the question that we all ask ourselves when we end up in a serious relationship is: can we make this work, and can we get through the hard times? Then they're both very damaged, and it's gonna be a challenge for them, and that's where the story gets interesting.

I'm not sure you can really tease much for a Season 3, but we talked before about how you have your vision for where you want to take this, and based on what we see at the end of Season 2, the implication is that we're going to have Stede and Ed off together, but is the plan to also continue with the other characters as well in their own places?

JENKINS: Yeah. Frenchie’s in charge of the Revenge, and I think Frenchie's Revenge would be an interesting place to work and an interesting ship to be raided by. Then I think that the Revenge means a lot to Stede, and it would be very hard for him to give it up, and he hasn't had a great track record of that. So I think the odds of them all finding each other again are quite high.

All episodes of Our Flag Means Death Season 2 are available to stream on Max.

#our flag means death season 2 #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #spoiler #our flag means death #ofmd #david jenkins #interview #collider article

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thevoidcannotbefilled · 11 months

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I really don't like love at first sight Jmart or even, early season 1 canon compliant crushes. I think Martin got an early crush and Jon started to tolerate/care about him after Martin got back after Prentiss, but I don't think they really understood each other for awhile. Which to me, is part of the reason I really like their dynamic

Idk I keep thinking of the moment where Jon gets back to the archives in season 3. Most people focus on Martin making sure Jon's okay. Making moments where he takes care of Jon's wounds.

I keep thinking of the part where Martin apologizes for reading the statements. Where Jon is surprised, says it's not a problem. Critically, in context, Martin basically believes that Jon cares more about the statements than Martin's wellbeing.

It just. It's so tragic. At this point we understand that Jon is becoming more and more of a monster because of the statements. Martin knows something is up with the Institute but not enough to be able to ward Melanie away from the job. In regards to their relationship, they obviously both care a lot about each other but neither know how to show it. They are not to the point of communicating that care except in ways that are not direct.

This moment shows just how far they have to go in both how much they can communicate but also, just how much the other knows they care about the other. Their roles as boss and assistant are still there, parodies of that dynamic but still there nonetheless, and their previous interactions haunt them.

As much as I adore the concept of a pre-Unknowing kiss, canonically I'm glad it didn't happen. S3 Jmart cannot communicate beyond their previous dynamic no matter how flimsy it may be. Jon keeps it up as a way to protect them while Martin keeps it up as to keep the peace. Perhaps if one of them broke it, Jon may not have gone to the Unknowing. After all, Jon in s5 was willing to give up on his plan to destroy the world to destroy the fears for Martin, I wouldn't doubt he'd do the same in season 3 with enough insistence.

But they didn't. They both waited for things to get "better". For a "good" moment that would never come. For a change to happen that would make a romance more convenient, an end.

But there is no end to the fears. Their unfair nature are a quintessential part of their universe and there is no moment where love could be convenient. It happens in spite of the fears.

The messy nature of Jon and Martin are part of why I adore their dynamic. While the fluffy versions of romance is nice sometimes, I find the depth of them so much more tragic in nature. Not only because they could have had a better ending but also that ending did not happen because the lack of response on their end.

Jonmartin to be is a tragedy of what if. What if Jon was nicer. What if Jon didn't suspect Martin. What if Martin had the courage to tell Jon how he felt. What if Jon told Martin he loved him before the Unknowing. What if they ran away together. What if, what if, what if-

But they didn't. They waited for something more ideal.... until the end of the world and there was no chance for a happily ever after ever again.

#tma #the magnus archives #jonmartin #tma meta

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zjpg · 9 months

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just a girl

'dodo'

prev - m.list - next

[early november - some posts, some writing + lando's bday]

"Are you going to tell Arthur?" Charles speaks softly, leaning his head towards his brother who was only a few feet away. Addi didn't say much to him, just for him to stay put before dragging his older brother away.

"No, I have no reason to. plus, I don't know what Pierre is gonna say. I don't want anyone to get the wrong-" She was cut off by a gentleman coming up to them, asking for a picture for his daughter.

"Excuse me, my daughter is a big fan, could she get pictures with you guys?" The youngest driver put on a smile, trying to comfort the daughter to relax. she understands that meeting someone you look up to could be intimidating. Hell, she races against Sebastian Vettel and Lewis Hamilton, two of her idols. The pair says yes, motioning the shy girl to walk over. She takes individual pictures with them each, just simple selfies before Arthur makes his way over.

She gets pictures with everyone before thanking them and leaving again. "So, what are you two talking about?"

Charles looks over down at the girl, waiting for her to respond. "I need dropped off at the hotel."

"Why? Is everything okay?" Arthur asks worried, his eyebrows pulling together in confusion.

"Yeah, I just..." She looks up at Charles, hoping he would help her out, but he looked back at her with raised eyebrows. "Pierre and I need to talk about something." The younger brother only looks more confused, not understand why the frenchman was suddenly being brought up. She could practically read his thoughts, "I'll explain later, Artie"

Charles drives them all back to the hotel, waving at anyone that notices them. She felt a sense of nervousness settle in once they reach the lobby of the hotel, the two brothers were going to go up to their suites, keeping hold of the girls bags while she was busy, but that meant they had to practically drop her off at Pierre's door.

"Okay," She sighed to herself, "Thanks for the shopping trip!" She tried smiling cheerfully, earning smiles back before Charles gives her an air kiss on either side of her face. "Let me know how it goes," he pats her head before leaving to his suite.

"Are you going to let me know how it goes?" Arthur asked. Addi could hear shuffling on the other side of the door. She reached up and giving him the same french style kisses on his cheeks, "We will see how it goes." She smiled at him as the door opened and revealed Pierre.

Arthur nodded before greeting Pierre and leaving. She turned to face the man at the door, looking at him before being gestured in. They greet each other before sitting on the couch in the suite. "So?" She asked, not in the mood for awkward small talk when they've been doing fine all season long together.

"I didn't know you felt that way for me back then." He jumped in head first, looking straight into her eyes, "I wouldn't have done that if I knew." She's almost at disbelief of words.

"You kissed me, flirted with me for week, and you had no clue I had any feelings?"

"I didn't think it was that big of a deal, you told me you had kissed before and we were drinking." Pierre defended himself quickly, but realizing what she had meant as soon as that statement left his mouth. "You meant Charles..."

"Yeah, my first kiss with Charles when I was 4."

"That doesn't change the fact that I didn't know."

[2019 - celebration party for addi]

Addi had just signed with Red Bull for the next season of Formula 1, this was huge. Everyone had planned a big surprise party for her to celebrate her big news. People she hadn't seen in a few years were there, including Pierre.

Her relationship with Pierre was nothing special, she had her crush on him when they were younger, but at that point Pierre could barely remember her name. She just saw him racing with Charles and her own brothers back then and thought he was cute. It wasn't until she was around 17 when her name started making waves in the motorsport world again, which is how she got to sign with Red Bull to begin with. Now she's about to be 19 years old, and already signed with one of the biggest Formula 1 teams.

"Pierre is here," Claire wiggled her eyebrows teasingly at her boyfriends little sister. "Really? I haven't seen him in ages, can't believe he could come and Arthur couldn't." She commented and snuck a swig of alcohol from the older, oh how she wished this party was being thrown in europe.

"I guess he had some time during the break so Charles invited him." Claire searched for the 'frenchie', she assumed it would be easy given his height compared to Addi's family and friends, but he must be sitting. "Wait... aren't you taking his seat?"

The younger gasped at the realization, Pierre had just ended his contract with Red Bull before she signed with them, but she must have been too excited to remember. "Fuck, you're right." She giggled out of shock and partial embarrassment, Claire laughing with her just before Charles comes over.

"You invited Pierre here? To a party celebrating the girl who's taking his seat?" The youngest girl slapped her friend shoulder. The Ferrari driver only laughed, "He left, they didn't boot him."

"Why'd you invite him exactly? They haven't spoken to each other... ever..."

"They have, Pierre just sucked at remembering names back then," Charles joked before looking down at Addi again, "I thought it'd be nice to invite someone else that you know on the grid, that way you have people to talk to."

Addi was never a social butterfly per sé, so he was genuinely trying to do her a favor. She appreciated it, but having the fact that she was already an anxious mess around so many people, she wasn't exactly sure it was a good idea. But it's not like she had a say in it now, especially with him walking over.

"Hey, Addilyn, I hope you remember me," He chuckled and shook her hand. "I'm Pierre."

From then on the two of them were stuck at the hip for the rest of the night. From Pierre sneaking her drinks behind her parents back, to having to sneak her away to the bathroom so she can throw up in the toilet. "Yeah, I should've told Claire not to give you anymore." He chuckled, holding her hair back as she blew chunks into the toilet bowl.

Claire and Charles rushed in holding towels, her toothbrush from her own bathroom, and some water and food. "I thought you said she's had alcohol before." Pierre glared at his best friend who shrugged and watched as Addi sat straight up against the bathtub again.

"She has, but really only a couple mimosas and margaritas." Claire intervened and handed the young girl a towel and water. She took the glass of water, swishing and gurgling it around before spitting it back in the toilet and wiping her mouth off. "Go back out, my moms gonna be looking for us." She stated trying to push the three of them out.

"I don't think you should get up." Pierre chuckled but Addi never listens, she tried lifting herself up, using him to help balance her, but she only fell back down again, luckily he stopped her from getting hurt.

It's a fun story to tell, or at least it was. From that point on, Pierre and Addi met up with each other whenever they could, they called and texted all the time, She even went out to France during a long break to visit him.

That night when she snuck out of her hotel room just to meet up with them was when it happened. They had been lounging around, drinking lightly, enough to where they couldn't drive, but not enough for them to be going crazy. A good bit of tipsy. Somehow, the conversations flowed from hobbies to relationships.

"You've never been in a relationship?" He would've guessed differently from the way she spoke about relationships and romance, maybe she was just a hopeless romantic.

"Nope," She shook her head and took a drink from her wine glass. She was smirking at him, his hand on her knee as they sat across from each other on his expensive couch.

"I find that hard to believe." He stated

"Calling me a whore, Gasly?" She teased, laughing when she saw the horror on his face. "Never. I would never." He declared immediately, she knew that already though.

"I'm just saying, I think you're too good of a person to be single for this long."

"Yeah, well surprisingly, a girl in motorsports seems to be a turn off for most men." She raised her eyebrows and sighed. She felt his thumb make small rubbing motions on her knee, comforting her. "What pussies." He stated in english, his accent makes her laugh out, making him smile.

"I think women in motorsports is amazing, we need more of that." He stated, "You're very talented at what you do."

His voice was suddenly soft, he was looking into her eyes and his fingers were tapping and rubbing gently on her lower thigh. She could feel her heart beating. "It's funny, I swore you hated me when we were younger." She laughed, her voice just above a whisper.

"No, I honestly just didn't care to know anyone who wasn't my competition back then. I was a selfish kid." He shrugged, smiling at her.

Then there's just silence. It's not heavy or awkward, it's peaceful actually. Just their breathing and the sound of whatever music had been playing when she arrived. She wasn't really sure when it started, but she noticed him inching closer and closer. His hand moving slowly up her thigh, waiting for further permission. Then he kissed her.

[2020 - back to present]

"The kiss wasn't a mistake." He confirmed, but it made her wonder, "Our kiss? Or are you referring to the other girl?"

He was frustrated, he tried not to show it, but he was. She wasn't sure if it was towards himself or her though, which opened another curiosity drawer in her brain. "Our kiss, it wasn't a mistake."

"And your kiss with Bella?"

"... That wasn't a mistake either."

She scoffed, "Unbelievable." She lifted her elbow up on the arm of the couch, looking in the opposite direction of him.

"Addilyn." He spoke, "I was trying not to like you."

She let out a pathetic laugh before meeting his eyes again, "Why not? Am I not enough for you or something?" He shook his head quickly, denying her claim.

"That's not it!" He sighed and looked in her eyes again, setting off a deja vu affect in her consciousness. "I knew Arthur liked you, and I didn't want to get in the way of that."

"What..."

She left Pierre's hotel suite about half an hour later, she forgave him for everything. Maybe she shouldn't have but whatever feelings she held for him a year ago were now long gone. And she couldn't really blame Gasly for stepping off when his friend showed interest, she would do the same thing. Does she believe him when he says he didn't know she had feelings? not really. But it didn't matter.

It's easy to see that the two of them were fine being just friends, though it made him wonder, "How come you acted fine at the beginning of the season?" He asked as he walked her out.

"Because I didn't want any tension between us. You and Charles are close, and my teammate used to be yours. I figured if I was going to be around you I might as well get along with you. Not to mention, Charlie kinda told me you were completely clueless as to why I stopped talking to you in the first place."

"if there's still something there later on or something bothering us, we tell each other?" They both agree on this. Right now the past is the past. But sometimes the past comes and bites you right back again, and that's a fear of her's.

The two of them hugged, wishing each other the best before they continued their friendship. No feelings were there, and Pierre is a great guy. Her crush on him last year was just that, a crush. However, now she has another bush to burn, Arthur.

[november 13 - lando's birthday]

liked by charles_leclerc and 1,493,293 others

addilynleblanc happy birthday lanlan🧡 ("why did charles get a real post?" "you called me a dodo! like the bird!" BE GRATEFUL)

tagged: landonorris

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landonorris Where did you get the second pic??!?!? -> addilynleblanc your mom texted it to me🥰🥰 you were such a cute kid lan -> landonorris YOU HAVE MY MUMS NUMBER??? -> user1 addilyn: ms. steal your mom -> liked by addilynleblanc

user2 okay but like, if lando looked at me like that i'd die. -> user1 I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING

user3 is he drinking out of a baby bottle-

user4 crazy that the second photo was taken at the beginning of the season -> liked by charles_leclerc and addilynleblanc

user5 'lanlan' with the hearrttttttt🥹🥹

taglist: @love4lando @fairiepoems @leilanixx @ietss

#˗ˏˋ LUCIE. ❝ just a girl ❞#f1 #charles leclerc #formula 1 #arthur leclerc #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 x female reader #f1 x oc #f1 x reader #lando norris #pierre gasly #arthur leclerc imagine #arthur leclerc smau #lando norris imagine #lando norris smau #pierre gasly imagine #pierre gasly smau

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eddiemunsons80sbaby · 3 months

Text

Never Say Never

Chapter 11

Pairing: SingleDad!StevexReader

Summary: You are a 32 year old single mother, raising your seven year old son on your own. After being widowed at 30 and going out on awful dates with disgusting men for the past month, you have decided that you're giving up. You already had your great love. One person can't possibly get lucky enough to have two in their lifetime. But then your son starts playing baseball and the coach might just change your mind about that.

No posting schedule.

18+ only for eventual smut

Word Count: 9.4K

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Three hours later found you sitting in the passenger seat of Steve’s car, wondering if doing this together was a good idea. After you managed to get some actual baking done, your counter littered with trays of sweet treats, you'd realized what time it was. Steve announced that the two of you should go get the kids. Like this was a normal occurrence, the two of you picking up your children from school together. Like you wouldn’t be making some epic statement to the world when you exited the same car at Hawkins Elementary.

What would Eli think when he came out of school to find both you and Steve waiting for him? How would he feel riding home from school in Steve’s car? Who were you kidding? Your son would be ecstatic. He’d get to spend more time with Jeremiah, which was always a good thing in his book. And wasn’t this exactly what the boys had been pushing for? The two of you together?

Were you together? It should be obvious after what had gone down in your kitchen. But was it? It was fairly obvious to you that Steve had been around the block a few times. From the way he and his friends talked he was no stranger to relationships. Did sex mean anything more to him than just a good time? Did you want it to mean more? As much as you liked him, what in the hell had you just gotten yourself into? It felt like you'd just bypassed far too many steps and were stumbling into what could be dangerous territory. Shouldn’t there have been some conversation about what you were to each other, declarations of love or something before you got all carnal with each other?

You had no idea. You were really bad at this. You and Justin hadn’t slept together until the night he’d told you he loved you and you'd said it back. There had only been three guys prior to him and only one of them had been a one night stand, a drunken mistake your freshman year of college. Was that what this had been? A one night stand? Or, actually, a one morning stand since it hadn’t even been noon when it began? Or was Steve thinking you were now officially a couple? Jesus, you needed to talk about it but this would be a really bad time now. You couldn’t have this discussion with the kids around.

Why hadn’t you said anything in the kitchen? It wasn’t like the two of you had been silent. You'd talked as you baked but it was all meaningless stuff. Steve filled you in on the new project his company was working on. You told him about the helicopter mom that had been in the office yesterday, standing over your shoulder as you'd administered vaccinations. He’d been touchy, kissing the back of your neck as he transferred baked goods to the oven for you or placing his hands on your hips, watching over your shoulder as you tried to show him how to properly measure ingredients. The guy had no idea what he was doing. He was used to seasoning to his heart’s content. You had to explain that baking was like chemistry. It had to be exact. But not once had either of you addressed what had just happened or what it meant.

“Anyway, you don’t have to if you don’t want to but I know Jere would love it. And I would love it too but I don’t want to put too much pressure on you. I know this thing has just started, really.”

This thing? What thing? The two of you? Was it a thing? Were you the thing? Had it started? And what did that mean? Was he your boyfriend now? And what had he even been saying? Were you having the exact conversation you were thinking about and you were missing it? Your inner monologue had just interrupted him and now you had no idea what Steve was asking you.

“I am so sorry. I kind of missed all of that. I was stuck in my head. What were you asking me?”

“We’re having Jere’s birthday party next weekend. It’s at my ex’s place. It will basically be all the people you met at my house plus my ex, her husband, and her parents. Anyway, Jere really wanted Eli to come so I promised I would ask. Nance and Jonathan hired some guy that dresses up like Batman so he knows he’s coming and he said Eli would be so mad at him if he didn’t get to meet Batman too.”

“Your ex’s house?” you asked, that one detail the only thing you could focus on out of everything he’d just said.

You'd gone on one date, somehow bypassed the appropriate amount of time before sleeping together considering he’d just ravished you on your damn kitchen counter, and now he wanted you to meet his ex-wife? To be introduced as his…what? His son’s friend’s mom? His friend? His girlfriend? What was happening right now?

Your fingers wrapped around the handle of the car door, squeezing tightly. Inhale. Exhale. You were not about to have an anxiety attack in his car. You were not going to do this right now. You had control of yourself and your body. This was insane. Why couldn’t you just respond to stress like most people? Why did the slightest things always set you off? You hated it. You hated that you couldn’t just handle the normal ups and downs of life anymore.

“Yeah. Look, I know it sounds weird but I promise you it won’t be. Nance is great and she’s dying to meet you.”

“Dying to meet me?”

“Yeah. I mean, Jere told her about you so she asked and then I told her about us going out.”

That explained it. The ex wanted to size up the new woman who was in his life, the new woman who was in her son’s life. You couldn’t blame her for that. If you were in her shoes, you would probably feel the same way. You'd want to know who was hanging around your son. Maybe she thought this was all too fast. Maybe she was pissed because he hadn’t talked to her about it first. Maybe you should have met her beforehand?

But how could you have? This all began because you were trying to set up a playdate for your son, not one for yourself. You'd had no intentions of dating Steve, not at first. It just kind of happened. There was no way to go about this the proper way when it hadn’t been planned. But was she going to hate you? To see you as some woman who was sneaking in behind her back and trying to take her place?

“Look, you don’t have to come if it makes you uncomfortable. I knew it would be a hard ask. But if you don’t mind, I can always pick up Eli and take him myself. Jere would be shattered if his best friend wasn’t there.”

“No. Uh…I’ll go,” you stammered, swallowing down the tension that was filling your throat, choking you slowly. Why were you agreeing to this? Because you just couldn’t say no to that face, those hazel eyes, golden in the afternoon light that were looking at you with so much hope.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.” You turned your head toward him, offering up the best smile you could muster. You might live to regret it but it would make your son happy and Steve really seemed to want you there. “Eli will be so excited.”

“Great. It’s at three. I would offer to pick you up but I told her I would help with setting up. You know, him being my kid too and all. I’ll give you her address.”

“Great.”

Steve pulled into the school parking lot, sliding into a space. You stepped out and walked to the front of the car, waiting for him to join you. You were pleasantly surprised when he took your hand in his as if it was just something you did, the two of you making your way up to school. He wanted you to come to his son’s birthday party and he was showing a display of affection in front of everyone at school. Maybe this was more than just hooking up. Maybe the two of you were a thing now. Your stomach both fluttered with joy and rolled with nerves at the thought.

You could feel the eyes following you and could practically hear the whispers that would be flying around like wildfire at the sight of the two of you. Not only showing up at parent pick-up together but holding hands. Whatever. It didn’t matter really. The rumor mill had already started churning from the moment you had left the baseball game together so let them talk. At least now what they were saying was actually true.

The doors swung open, kindergarten releasing first followed by first grade. Little feet racing across the concrete into waiting arms, squeals of joy that the school day was over and they were going home to bike rides and basketball hoops in backyards. You caught sight of your son, right next to Jeremiah, where he always was, the two boys talking and laughing. His eyes fell on you, moved over to Steve, and then went directly down to where your hands were clasped. Him and Jeremiah shared a wide-eyed look and then they both yelled out loud, fists pumping in the air.

“I think they’re happy. What do you think?” questioned Steve with a grin.

You laughed, “I would definitely say they’re happy.”

The boys ran over to you, both yelling, talking so fast it was difficult to catch what they were saying. They kept it up the whole walk back to the car, barely waiting for the car to start before questioning their parents.

“So are you guys like boyfriend and girlfriend now?” asked Jeremiah, leaning between you.

“Put your seatbelt on,” Steve stated.

“But are you?” he asked again, sitting back and buckling in.

“Yeah. Are we all going to live together now?” piped in Eli.

“Oh, that would be so cool! Are you getting married?”

“Do I call you daddy?”

It was happening again. You sunk down into your seat, eyes focusing on the numbers on the clock, the pine tree shaped air freshener hanging from the mirror, the sunglasses clipped on the visor above Steve’s head. You closed your eyes. Sounds…you couldn’t focus on sounds, nothing could be heard over the myriad of questions the boys were spewing out in the back.

Then a warm pressure landed on your knee. Fingers pressing into the jean material, centering you, keeping you still while inside you felt like you were losing control. You inhaled through your nose, exhaled through your mouth, focusing on Steve’s fingers, the warmth and pressure, the comfort it provided.

“You good?” he asked when you slowly opened your eyes and you nodded. You were. Somehow you were. “Alright. Let’s calm down a bit, okay? Eli's mom and I are just getting to know each other. We like each other and we would like to spend more time together and keep doing that. But no one is moving in anytime soon and no one is getting married anytime soon. Okay?”

His eyes darted to the rearview mirror and both boys nodded. He squeezed your knee again reassuringly.

“But we might be spending even more time together than we have been. Would that be okay?”

“Yeah!” both kids yelled enthusiastically.

“Alright. How about we start with tonight? I need to help your mom box up all the goodies we baked today for the school carnival on Saturday. How about after we’re done with that we go to the diner to grab some burgers and then we can come back and play some games, all four of us? Sound good?”

“Can I get a milkshake too?” asked Jeremiah.

“Oh yeah. What’s your favorite flavor?”

“Let’s both say it on three!”

“Okay,” Eli agreed as both boys turned to each other, counting before exclaiming at the same time, “Strawberry!”

Steve chuckled, turning those beautiful eyes on you, “That okay with you?”

“Yeah,” you replied, pressing your lips together. “That would be nice.”

“Good because I’m not ready to stop looking at this face yet.” He winked and your heart stuttered.

___________________________________________________________

“Rita, can you schedule Tyler for a follow-up in two weeks?” you inquired as you walked Tyler and his mom to the front, turning to the mother. “Dr. Wilson just wants to make sure it’s a respiratory infection and not asthma. He’ll listen to his lungs again to make sure they’re clear after using the breathing treatments and corticosteroids. As long as everything sounds clear, then he should be all set.”

“Thank you so much.”

“Of course.” Leaning forward, you ruffled the six year old’s hair. “We’ll have you back out on the soccer field in no time. Just make sure you take it easy for a couple weeks, okay?”

“Okay,” he grumbled.

You smirked, amused, because you knew if it were Eli he’d be the same way. There was nothing worse than trying to keep a little kid from being active. Your son would be devastated if he found out he couldn’t play baseball or run around at recess or don his cape and race around the backyard for a couple weeks.

Kids. They just didn’t understand. You would give anything for someone to order you to take it easy for a couple weeks. You'd catch up on the books that were piled in your bedroom, the ones you couldn’t seem to stop buying but never seemed to get to. You'd watch all the movies that you hadn’t had time to go see in the theater. You'd take long bubble baths and afternoon naps.

But barring some crazy illness, that was not in the cards for you. And you couldn’t afford a crazy illness, certainly not one that would knock you down for a couple weeks. Not with the school carnival tomorrow, Eli’s game on Sunday, and the impending promise of your parents showing up for a visit.

Your eyes wandered over the appointment list, seeing that you didn’t have another patient for an hour but your mind was anywhere but. Your mind had been anywhere but where it should have been all day. You should have been focusing on test results, examinations, immunizations, medical histories, and charting. Instead it somehow kept finding its way back to your kitchen yesterday afternoon.

What in the hell had you been thinking? That was precisely the problem. You hadn’t been thinking. Your brain had completely shut off and your body had taken over. You were like some teenage girl completely controlled by your hormones and your urges. He’d just looked so damn good and then he was kissing you and he was all you could think about, the only thing you could feel. And you'd wanted more.

Right now, standing here, in the middle of the office, you wanted more. You wanted to get in your car, drive to his home, and have a repeat performance. It might have been a mistake but damn if it wasn’t one that would be worth repeating, if for no other reason than you were damn near positive that you would never feel like that again with anyone else. What was even more terrifying was that you didn’t want to. He was all you could think about and feeling this intensely this quickly was unsettling because it would make losing him all that much harder if it happened.

Was it Steve? Was he just that amazing at sex? His fingers and tongue had done things to you that made you forget your own name. He was definitely skilled. But was it as simple as that? Was it the combination of the two of you? It sure as hell felt so. It felt like you just fit, like his body had been carved to mold perfectly against yours, all your curves and edges lining up.

“Hey girl!”

You shrieked, jumping about a foot in the air, your arm lashing out and knocking a cup of pens off the counter and onto the floor. Grumbling, you bent down to grab them, glancing up to find Janice grinning at you, eyes wide.

“Sorry. What’s got you so jumpy?”

“Nothing. I…it’s nothing,” you muttered, setting the cup down, plopping the pens back inside. “What are you doing here?”

“I brought lunch,” your friend stated, holding up a brown paper bag and a cup holder with two coffees. “June made us two of her phenomenal turkey and pesto sandwiches on sourdough.”

“Okay…” you said, the word dragging out suspiciously. “And why exactly did you bring me lunch?”

“Does a bestie have to have a reason to do something nice for her favorite person on the planet? Also, do I have to have a reason to want to have lunch with you?”

“I guess not.”

“So, are you free?”

“Yeah, actually. I just looked and my next patient isn’t scheduled for another hour.”

“Did you want to head to your little spot by the pond?”

“Sure.”

You followed Janice, who bounced on the balls of her feet, only furthering your suspicions that this wasn’t just her wanting to have lunch with her best friend. The girl definitely had an agenda and whatever it was, she was pretty anxious about it if the bounce in her step was any indication. She bopped over to the bench, you joining her, as she pulled out two sandwiches wrapped in brown paper, offering one to you.

“Thank you,” you said, taking a long drink of your iced coffee. “I needed this pick-me-up today. My morning caffeine hit is quickly wearing off.” Unwrapping your sandwich, you took a bite. “God, this is so good. I didn’t even realize how hungry I was until now.” You both ate in silence for a couple minutes, the only sound little groans of pleasure. June’s talent did not stop at a good cup of coffee. She knew how to make one perfect sandwich as well. “So what? Just needed a little break in your day?”

“Not exactly…” Janice began, pressing her lips together. She looked up at you, her lips pressed together in a nervous smile. “I’m pregnant.”

“What!?” Your arms flew out, the last few bits of the bread scattering off of your lap. Oh well. The ducks would definitely enjoy it. “Are you serious? When? How long have you known?”

“About two hours,” she said, mouth tight. “I just took the test this morning after Matt left for work.”

“What? Does he know?”

“No. You’re the first person I’ve told.”

“Janice…oh my god! I’m so…I’m so happy for you!” You pulled your friend into a hug, joy feeling like a balloon, filling you up until you could absolutely burst with it. “But, you told me first? I mean, you are planning on telling him, right?”

“Yes. I am. But I was just so nervous. I’ve been feeling a little nauseous and at first I just thought I’d caught a bug. But then I realized my period was a week late and it’s so early. I know it is. I probably shouldn’t have even told you because the chances of something going wrong are so drastically high right now…”

“Nothing is going to go wrong,” you assured her.

“You can’t promise that.”

“No. I guess I can’t and maybe you wait until the second trimester to announce it to the world but you can’t wait that long to tell your husband. Matt is going to be so excited. The two of you have been trying for months. He’s going to be a dad, Janice.”

“I know! Trust me, I know. It’s just…he wants this so much and what if I tell him and we’re all excited and we’re picking out names and then something happens? I’m thirty-two and Holly is the same age as me and she had a miscarriage. I don’t want…”

You winced, remembering that emotional phone call you'd received just six months ago. Holly, your mutual friend from college, lived in California now, having moved there when her husband got a job transfer, but she still stayed in touch. Weekly phone calls, cards for special occasions, and she’d even flown in last summer to spend a week with you. A glorious week where you had taken vacation time and you'd all lounged at the lake, eaten far too much junk food, and stayed up half the night laughing and talking as you shared a bottle of wine. It had made you feel like you were twenty again, just starting life, optimistic about what was to come, not a care in the world.

“Okay, yeah. That’s always a possibility but you can’t assume that. It had nothing to do with her age. Don’t you remember Stacy? We were only twenty-one and she had a miscarriage and that girl was the epitome of physical fitness. She ran track and watched everything she put in her mouth. She couldn’t have been healthier. Sometimes there’s no rhyme nor reason to it and it’s not fair but it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. Let yourself be happy. This is a happy occasion. If you don’t want to share it with everyone for a while, then fine, but you have to share this with Matt. The two of you deserve to be in your own little bubble of bliss.”

“I know. I know you’re right. I just…I don’t know. I saw those two pink lines on that stick and at first, I was so excited. I screamed and I jumped up and down. I almost hopped in my car and drove straight to his work to tell him. But then all these doubts started creeping in and I just couldn’t. I freaked out and so I did what I always do when I freak out.” She paused, smiling, her shoulder lifting in a slight shrug as her hand covered yours. “I ran to you.”

“Well, while it is a tough job to always be the one to try to lead you back to the shallows when you jump off the deep end, it’s not a job I would ever trust to anyone else,” you told her, wrapping your fingers around your friend’s hand, squeezing gently. “And oh my God, Janice! You’re having a baby!”

“I’m having a baby!” she cried and the two of you collapsed into a hug, weeping and laughing and shrieking. “You’re going to be an aunt!”

“Eli is going to freak when he finds out.”

Janice raked her teeth over her bottom lip, “Can we not tell him just yet?”

“Of course,” you assured her. “Of course. We can absolutely wait until you’re ready. Besides, you and Matt definitely have to be the ones to tell him this news. He’s always wanted a younger sibling and I don’t see that happening so maybe he’ll settle for this.”

Janice shifted, one eyebrow raising, “I don’t know. There’s still a possibility.”

“Oh please,” you snorted with a dry laugh. “I’m widowed and in my thirties. Justin and I…I mean we talked about trying for another baby but then he was gone. I would have loved to give Eli a sibling but I really don’t think that’s in the cards.”

“Never say never,” your friend sang. “You have a new guy in your life. You’re not ancient. You’re sitting there telling me my age is fine for being pregnant so why couldn’t you do it?”

“Janice, Steve and I barely know each other. We’ve gone on one date.”

“Well, you know my argument on this. The two of you have spent far more time together than that. Besides, I think we can safely count it as two now. He was at your house yesterday baking.”

“That was baking. We were just getting stuff ready for the school carnival.”

Your face flushed with heat, your gaze dropping to your lap, thumbs twirling tightly around one another. It was far more than just baking but did it count as a date? Probably not. A mistake? Absolutely. Steve had been with quite a few women if rumors were to be believed and now you'd just lumped yourself in with the rest of them. So much for making him wait or keeping him interested. He already knew everything you had to offer.

“Still, you were alone and…why’s your face all red?”

“What? My face is not red,” you protested, sucking down a massive gulp of iced coffee, willing the cool drink to also cool your flesh and stop giving you away.

“You are too! You’re redder than a boiled lobster.”

“We’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you. You’re pregnant! We’re very excited about that.”

“Like hell we’re not talking about you. Don’t you try to change the subject. I mentioned baking and you got all flustered. The two of you, alone in your house, no kids around…you had sex, didn’t you!?”

“What!? I…no…I…”

“Girl, don’t bullshit me,” Janice warned, one perfectly manicured finger just an inch from your nose. “We’ve been friends for fourteen years. I know you better than anybody. You had sex, didn’t you?”

You groaned, your body sagging against the bench, “Yes.”

“Holy shit! Holy shit! I knew it! Oh my god, this is amazing. How was it? Where was it? Who initiated it? Does he look just as good underneath those clothes? Is he hung? Details! I need all the details!”

“Jesus Christ, do we really have to do this?”

“Yes we have to do this. My friend got well and truly fucked for the first time in over two years. I need to know everything.”

“But you don’t. It was…”

“Oh god. What’s wrong with him?” Janice cringed. “Is he a minute man? Was he one of those guys who thinks penetration is enough to get you there? Does he have a micro penis? Oh Jesus. He has a micro penis, doesn’t he? Guys like that, they always look like they’ll be hung but then they’re not. But it’s okay. We can work with it.”

“No! God. It…it just shouldn’t have even happened. It was a huge mistake. I don’t know what I was thinking. That was the problem! I wasn’t thinking. I just…god, I wanted him so badly. I haven’t had sex in forever and I lost all control and then it was happening and there was no stopping it once it started and now he’s going to think I’m easy and he’s not even going to be interested. And now there’s all these feelings that wouldn’t have been there if I would have just kept my damn legs shut and if it doesn’t work out it’s going to be even more devastating. I’m terrified of what another heartbreak will do to me when I’m already hanging on by a thread most days. And it was so good and it shouldn’t have been that good. I shouldn’t be craving him the way I am right now. I can’t stop thinking about him and then that makes me feel awful because it feels like I am just completely abandoning Justin. I’m just moving on as if he didn’t matter. I shouldn't even be able to feel like this about someone else.”

“Whoa!” Janice held both hands up in front of her body. “Alright. Take a deep breath for me.” She inhaled slowly, gesturing for you to join her. After you did, Janice smiled. “Okay. That’s a lot of shit to unpack. So, let’s take it a step at a time, okay? So what if you already slept with him? Are you stuck on some archaic three date rule or something? You guys don’t fall into that category because you’ve been spending time together for a few weeks already. So, forget that. Steve is not going to think you’re easy. Honey, you’ve been the Virgin Mary since Justin passed away. It was inevitable that your self-control was going to snap. And around a man that looks like that, who could blame you? As for the feelings, feelings aren’t a bad thing and you can kid yourself all you want but sex isn’t changing the fact that you were already in deep for that man.” She pointed to herself. “Person who knows you best, remember? I know every expression that crosses your face, every little gesture you make, every emotion that you wear painted right across your sleeve. You’ve been in deep for that man from the moment you saw him on the baseball field. I could see it the first time you talked about him. So, that ship has long since sailed. If this all ends, you’re going to be just as devastated whether you opened your legs or not so you may as well have fun with it. I will throw your own words right back at you. You can’t control the future so be happy. You deserve it and as far as Justin, stop it. Stop obsessing about what he would think. He’s not here, honey. You’re not cheating on him. You’re not forgetting him. If you were, you wouldn’t be obsessing about how he would feel. He would be pissed, absolutely, if he were alive but he’s not. You wouldn’t be doing this if he were alive so that’s inconsequential. And the only thing he ever wanted, the only thing that ever mattered to him, was that you and Eli were happy and taken care of. Justin would love Steve because from what you’ve told me, he’s amazing to both of you. So, stop it. Okay? Get out of your head and enjoy this. Something amazing is happening here. Be in your own little bliss bubble.”

“I really like him,” you admitted.

“Well, duh,” laughed Janice.

“It terrifies me. He’s amazing. I mean, he shouldn’t be real. He’s gorgeous. He’s kind. He’s attentive. He listens. I mean, he really listens to everything I say. He’s respectful, always making sure I am okay with what’s happening before it happens. He makes me laugh. He is a wonderful father and just a wonderful human. He’s so self-sacrificing, always putting everyone else before himself. I think…I think I might be falling for him and that’s insane. We barely know each other. Isn’t that insane?”

Janice shrugged, “Is it? I mean, there’s no timeline for this kind of stuff. There’s no manual on how to feel about something. We can’t control it. I knew I loved Matt on our fourth date. I don’t know. I just knew he was it for me. I didn’t say it then, of course. I was scared he would think I was crazy and I would chase him away. But he said it after we’d been together for six weeks and so I said it too. And look at us. Look at you and Justin. How long did it take you to say the L word?”

“Two months. He took me ice skating. I fell and took him with me and he just grabbed my face and told me he loved me. And I don’t know. I just knew I felt the same way. I think I actually knew it for longer than that but I didn’t say it.”

“So, do you love Steve?”

“I don’t know,” you groaned. “That’s a really big word for something that’s barely begun.”

“Babe, you’ve been about as intimate as two people can be. And you all hang out like you’re a little family already. I don’t think it’s as big of a word as you think. Or, it is a big word, but I don’t think it’s too big to describe what’s happening.”

“Maybe…I…I just don’t know. I know I really like him. I know that I can’t stop thinking about him. I know that I am counting down the hours until he picks us up tomorrow for the carnival because I just want to see his face.”

“Sure sounds like it to me,” Janice grinned. “Look, it’s not a big deal. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. No one’s saying you have to say anything or define anything right now. Just stop obsessing and let yourself enjoy this because it’s pretty damn cool. You, my friend, are in the midst of a love story, a sequel if you will to your first one. Just enjoy the ride.”

“I’ll try,” you assured her, dropping your head on her shoulder. “Now, how soon am I allowed to start shopping for my niece or nephew?”

“Oh lord,” she chucked. “You’re going to spoil this kid rotten, aren’t you? I guess I deserve that for all the shit I’ve bought for Eli over the years.”

“Absolutely.”

___________________________________________________________

“Four hot dogs with everything and a popcorn please,” the jovial dad announced as he stepped forward in line.

“You got it. Would you like anything to drink?”

He glanced over at his wife, the two conversing over their drink options. Their kids, a boy in third grade and a girl in fourth, chimed in, making sure their preferences were known. It quickly turned into the kids whining and huffing when their parents settled on waters, denying their request for a Coke and an icee.

The icee machine was something that Laurie was very proud of procuring for the school carnival. Apparently, she convinced Sal, who ran the gas station in the middle of town to allow them to borrow his for the evening. You were pretty sure Sal was just the next in a long line of men that Laurie strung along, flirting shamelessly to get what she wanted from them. Poor guys. They didn’t realize they would be receiving nothing in return until they were in too deep.

Steve loaded up the hot dogs, handing them off to you so you could hand them to the family. You reached into the cooler to grab their bottles of water while he scooped out popcorn, loading it into the red and white striped boxes that were customary at every concession stand.

You smiled as you watched your son and his friends race past, their faces covered in paint. Tina had kindly offered to keep an eye on them while Steve and you fulfilled your hour at the concession stand. You took the money the dad offered, telling them to have fun, watching as Eli stepped forward to try his luck at the duck pond. His little face lit up when he turned his duck over to reveal a number. The guy offered him a tiny rubber finger alligator and he couldn’t have been more pleased, immediately placing it on his finger and roaring as he shoved it in Jeremiah’s face. The boys thought this was hysterical, all of them breaking into a fit of laughter.

“They’re sure enjoying themselves.”

You jumped at Steve’s words spoken right in your ear. You tilted your head to find him, one arm propped on the counter, his lips just a breath from yours. The smile he gave you was as soft and familiar as a pillow, the one you even had to take on vacation because it was molded to your shape.

“Hi,” he whispered.

“Hi.” You laughed, the sound hoarse and breathy as you tried to get your bearings. His presence invading your space sent you entirely off kilter like a planet knocked from its orbit, floating haphazardly in the vast nothingness of space.

“We’ve been working back here for thirty minutes together and have barely talked.” His fingers walked across the counter to cover your hand with his own. “You’ve been kind of quiet.”

“No. No, I haven’t. We’ve just been busy.”

His head tilted, lips pouting in that way that just made you want to kiss them right off his face. One eyebrow lifted, those hazel eyes reaching straight through you and into your soul, as if he could read you like the pages of a book. The thought, while comforting, was also a bit unsettling. You weren't sure how to feel about him being able to see you so clearly after such a short time.

Had you been quiet? Probably. Your brain was a bit occupied with everything that had occurred in the last forty-eight hours of your life. You'd not only gone on a date with Steve but crossed the line into sex. What did it mean? Were you a couple now? Were you still just getting to know each other like he’d told the boys? Did he still look at you the same way even though you'd been so willing to be intimate with him so quickly?

You were spinning out a bit. Your talk with Janice had helped some but you hadn’t done this in years. You had no idea how to deal with the bevy of emotions that were twisting you into a knot. You couldn’t stop thinking about him. A simple touch and you were like a sixteen year old girl, hormones raging, on the verge of losing control, ready to grab him and smash your lips to his in front of all these damn people.

“Is that it?” he mused, forehead tilting down, almost close enough for yours to touch. “I know we haven’t really talked about what happened on Thursday but I’d like to. I wanted to…”

“Help has arrived!” came a high pitched sing-song voice and you moved your head around Steve to see the source. It was Janet Comstock, one of your least favorite people on the planet. And judging from the look on Steve’s face, she didn’t rank very high for him either. “Looks like you two have been pretty busy.”

“Janet? I thought your shift didn’t start for another thirty minutes. You and Ryan are supposed to do the next one together,” Steve stated, straightening and turning. He leaned back against the counter, arms crossed, staring her down like she was a misbehaving child.

“Oh, it doesn’t but I figured you two could use the help when I saw how people just kept lining up.”

“I think we’re alright,” protested Steve.

“Nonsense. It never hurts to have more hands, right?” she beamed and then snorted, rolling her eyes. “You know, if you fill up the popcorn boxes in advance then you don’t have to waste time when people order them. Much more efficient. See? You need me.”

“Like a hole in the head,” he muttered, teeth clenched tightly, only you hearing his words.

“Oh, hi there." She smiled at you as if she'd just noticed you standing there. "I didn't realize you were volunteering." Bullshit. She'd been at the meeting. "How have you been?” Janet breezed, donning a pair of latex gloves in preparation to scoop up popcorn.

“Okay…” you replied slowly, growing more confused by the minute. You weren't a fan of Janet either but Steve seemed to be extremely put off by her presence.

“That’s good. I’m so glad to see you doing better,” she continued as she scooped. “We were all so worried about you for a while. No one ever saw you. I swear, you became a hermit after everything. Not that I blame you. Justin was perfect, wasn’t he? You had every woman in town jealous. If only we all could find our soulmate but alas, we’re not so lucky. I mean, when there’s only one person who’s really meant to be yours, what are the chances of you finding them in this great big world?”

“I…I mean, yeah, I was lucky to have Justin. He was an amazing man,” you said awkwardly, unsure of what was happening.

Steve was like a statue next to you, standing rigid, his jaw so hard you were sure it could cut through six inch glass. This was the most uncomfortable situation you'd ever been in. You would never pretend like Justin wasn’t one of the best things to happen to you but you really didn’t want to talk about that in front of Steve. But Janet couldn’t know that, right? People may have made assumptions about the two of you but they didn’t actually know what had happened.

“Oh, he was,” crooned Janet. “Strong, kind, and so romantic. I remember when he had all those roses delivered to the doctor’s office for you. I had taken Sally in for an ear infection and they were everywhere, completely covering the counter. Poor Rita could barely see.” She laughed. “The way you two would look at each other, it was like something out of one of them cheesy romance movies. The kind you think are completely fake because nothing like that could ever actually exist. But you two showed us all it could. You must miss him terribly. It must be awful knowing you can never find anything that could come close to that again. But at least you had it for a while, right? Some of us never do.”

“Yeah. I…I…did…” you stammered, your fingers wrapping around the counter so tightly they were tingling, on the verge of going numb. What was this? Why was Janet saying all of this?

You were struck with the need to get out of there, to be anywhere else but here, talking about your perfect love that you no longer had in front of the guy you were hoping to find it with again. To find something with again. The muscle in Steve’s jaw jumped, his nostrils flaring. He was angry.

Was he angry because you were talking about Justin? He knew. He knew you'd been married, knew you'd lost your husband, knew you had loved him very much. Was he not capable of handling this? Of knowing that you'd had a great love before? Justin was never going to be erased from your life. Eli was proof of that. You would forever have a piece of him and if Steve couldn’t handle that then this whole thing might be over before it had even begun.

Janet turned with a sad smile, sighing deeply, her plastic covered hands coming to her chest, “I thought I had that.” Her eyes moved over to Steve and it felt like a ten pound stone had just dropped in your stomach. “I really did but some people are just too scared to let true love in, to see what’s right in front of their face. They keep running to the wrong thing instead of embracing the right one.”

Oh god. Janet. It all came rushing back. That day on Steve’s deck, the girls all talking about this woman he’d dated. Janet, the one he almost had to get a restraining order against. The one who had become obsessed with him. And now it all made sense. Now you could see why Janet was going on and on about Justin. She was trying to make Steve see that you were all wrong for him. Was he thinking that too?

You lifted your fingers from the underside of the counter, curling them one by one, focusing on the feel of the smooth stainless steel. Your eyes zeroed in on the popcorn boxes, the familiar red and white stripes. You needed to get out of here before it happened again. It could not happen here, not in front of Janet, not in front of half the town. You would never live it down. The news of you breaking down at the school carnival would be everywhere before everyone’s heads hit the pillow tonight.

“You know, since you showed up early, how about you help Steve for a bit? I’m going to go check on the boys,” you said, pushing off from the counter, inhaling slowly through your nose.

“Wait. What?” Steve had been zapped from wherever his mind had just been taking him. “No. I…we only have twenty minutes left…I…”

“No, really. It’s silly for all three of us to be back here when it really only takes two. I’ll go relieve Tracy.”

You walked off before he had a chance to respond, not trusting yourself to spend one more minute in the midst of that tension and animosity. You could not hear Justin’s name come out of that woman’s mouth one more time. You could not watch Steve grow angrier each time he came up. You marched out, on the hunt for your son, ready to lose yourself in the chaos of the carnival instead of the chaos of whatever the hell that was.

___________________________________________________________

“Janet, what the hell was that?” Steve snapped as the heavy door closed behind you. You'd darted out of there as fast as possible, not that he blamed you. He hadn’t wanted to be there either but one of you had to stay behind.

“That was me trying to save you from making a huge mistake,” she stated, arms folding over her chest, brown eyes burning into his. “Are you really that naive that you can’t see it?”

“See what exactly?”

“That girl is all wrong for you! You’ll never be able to measure up to her husband, ever!”

“I’m not trying to!” he yelled, jolting when he noticed Sarah standing at the counter, looking sheepish at interrupting what was obviously a heated argument.

“Hey there,” she said brightly, waving. “So sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to get some popcorn and a couple of icees.”

“Of course!” Janet beamed brightly, turning to handle her order as if they hadn’t just been yelling at each other.

Sarah cringed, mouthing sorry to him and Steve just gave her a small smile and a wave of his hand, indicating it was okay. She probably knew what was happening. The whole town had known he’d dated Janet for a while. Hell, he was sure the whole town knew how he’d broken her heart because she’d probably made sure they all knew.

She thanked Janet as she took the snacks and traded her money before heading off, turning back once to look back at Steve with sympathy. Everyone knew Janet was a bit crazy. He just wished he’d known before he decided to ask her out. He wished he’d listened when his best friend told him she was after meeting her once but it probably would have already been too late by then. She’d been a stage five clinger from the first date.

“Steve,” she began, shaking her head, pulling her gloves off and flinging them in the trash can. “You didn’t see the two of them together. I did. That was epic, once in a lifetime love. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life living in some man’s shadow? Because that is all you will be to her, a pale comparison of what she had before.”

“You don’t know anything about her and I, and it’s none of your damn business!”

“It is my business! It is! I gave you everything. I took care of you. I bent over backward to be everything you wanted and you still threw me to the side like I was nothing but trash!”

“I didn’t throw you anywhere! And maybe that’s the problem. You shouldn’t mold yourself into what you think someone wants. Then that’s not really what they want and that’s not fair to you. Why would you want to be with someone if you have to pretend?”

“I wasn’t pretending! I’m telling you, if you head down this road, you’re just going to wind up heartbroken. She will never need you like you need to be needed. You will never be number one for her because he always will. You will never be the most important. And you and I both know how much you want that.”

Her words hit their mark. He would never tell her that. And how the hell did she know him that well? Robin had said all those same things to him. How he craved to be the most important to someone because he’d never been to anyone else. But now he had Robin and he knew he was pretty damn high on her list. Not to mention Dustin. That kid relied on him for damn near everything.

But what if he couldn’t ever be that person for you? What if you looked at him and just saw the next best option? Like he was the store brand version of your name brand husband? What if he couldn’t ever have all of you because part of you had been buried in that casket with him?

When Steve envisioned a life with the person he was meant to be with, he envisioned them having all of him, him having all of them. Two people who were so connected that nothing could come between them because they were a force that nothing could break. But could he have that with someone who’d already had that?

“You know I’m right, don’t you?” she smirked, one eyebrow lifting smugly. “She might be a pretty package but she’ll never truly be yours. That gift tag has someone else’s name on it. Dead or not, it doesn’t change that.”

He was saved from responding when the door swung open, Ryan, the other dad who had volunteered, entering. Before he could even get a word out, Steve was gone, pushing past him and into the gymnasium. As if all the doubts Janet had just put in his head would be locked behind that door too when it shut behind him.

Weaving through running children hurrying from one game to the next, his head was on a swivel, looking for any sign of you or the boys. The entire place was chaos, a constant drone of conversation, squealing, and feet smacking against the linoleum. He hadn’t made it halfway through when a little body slammed into his legs, arms wrapping around him. He looked down, expecting to see his own son but finding Eli instead.

“Steve! Steve, you have to come see! They have a reptile guy here and he has real snakes! There’s a python that’s like ten hundred feet long!”

You stood just behind him, Jeremiah next to you. You offered him an uncertain smile and he gave one back. He had no idea where you stood. No idea where your head was at after that embarrassing scene in the concession booth.

Hell, he had no idea where you stood, period. He was hoping you would get a chance to talk tonight. But between the boys and Janet, that wasn’t looking likely. He knew the two of you had crossed the line, and rather quickly. He didn’t regret it. That moment in your kitchen had been playing on a loop in his brain ever since. But he needed to know how you were feeling about it all. Were you officially a couple? Or were you thinking that was a mistake that you wished you could take back? You really might be after what just happened.

Eli grabbed his hand and Steve allowed himself to be dragged across the gym. He responded appropriately with wide eyes and gasps as the boys made him look at every single reptile the guy had from iguanas to a python that was not ten hundred feet long but still pretty damn big. But the whole time his mind was on you, on what you were thinking right now, what you were feeling. He was dying to talk to you, to find out. He wished he could peer into your brain. Were you feeling for him the way he was for you? Or was this just a stepping stone, like Robin had been scared of, a jumping off point for you to move on from the man who’d truly made you happy?

The two of you followed the boys from game to game, dutifully holding any prizes they won. You spoke, your words polite but clipped, uncomfortable and he hated it. The boys didn’t seem to be aware but he sure was. Steve stepped up at the game where you threw a ball at pins and won a goldfish for Eli.

“Mommy, look!” he shrieked, holding the bag up proudly. “Steve got me a fish! I’m going to name him Flash. I know Flash is red and he’s orange but I bet he can swim really fast.”

You smiled at your son, trying to convey excitement but your eyes weren’t quite showing it, “Oh fun.” You looked up at Steve, so exasperated but damn if you didn’t look cute. “Now we need a bowl and food.”

“Sorry,” he offered when the boys raced ahead, leaving you holding the newest member of the family. “I guess I didn’t really think about the ramifications of winning a living creature.”

“It’s fine,” you sighed. “My biggest concern is keeping this damn thing alive. If Eli sees him belly-up, he’s going to be heartbroken. And with a fish, the chances of that are pretty likely.”

“I can stop and grab supplies on the way out of here and drop them off for you,” he offered.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that.”

“Of course I do. It’s my fault you now have a fish to house and feed. It’s not a big deal. I can even help him get Flash all set up if you’d like.”

He wanted you to say yes. He wanted another reason to see you. He wanted an opportunity to talk to you, somewhere away from all the nosey residents of this town. And he was kind of hoping that maybe the boys would head off to Eli’s room and give you some time alone. Time for you to hash all of this out and figure out what exactly was happening here.

You swallowed, your eyes off in the distance and he feared you were going to say no but then you turned to him, smiling.

“Okay. Thanks. I don’t really know anything about keeping a fish alive so that would be helpful.”

Steve shrugged, “It’s not that hard. Not a goldfish anyway. They just need some freshwater, a bowl, and some fish food. I can get a couple fun things for in the bowl too. Some fish are more complicated. My uncle had an aquarium and he had saltwater fish and that’s a pain in the ass. You have to make sure the water is the right PH and everything. But goldfish are pretty basic.”

By the time the carnival was coming to a close, the boys had exhausted every single activity, many more than once. They had maximized their time and the very full bag of cheap prizes that Steve was holding proved it. The baked goods had been a hit. Even Laurie had approached you to tell you how amazing your treats had been, leaving you with that pink blush to your cheeks that Steve loved so much.

The boys were moving much more slowly as they made their way to the parking lot, the energy they’d exuded in the gym finally starting to catch up to them.

“You know, if Jere is really tired, you don’t have to run to the store,” you told him. “I can always go tomorrow. Hopefully this guy can survive in a bag for one night.”

“Nah, he’ll be fine. Watch.” He turned to the boys. “Hey Jere. We’re gonna stop at the store to grab some stuff for Flash and take it to Eli’s. You good with that or are you two tired to go to his house?”

Jeremiah’s face lit up, his exhaustion forgotten as he bounced on his toes, “Yeah!”

“See?” teased Steve with a laugh. “He’s good at bouncing right back when he’s excited.”

“Can we have another sleepover?” asked Eli. “Jeremiah hasn’t stayed at our house and then he can hang out with Flash too. We can sleep in my room. My bed is big so we’ll both fit!”

You sighed, smiling, looking over at Steve who shrugged, letting you know he was okay with it if you were. You looked back at the boys, opening your arms wide.

“Alright. Why not?”

“Yes!” both boys shrieked at the same time.

“Well, then why don’t I just take Jere back with me?” you asked. “The boys can play for a bit until you get there with the fish stuff.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Bye daddy!” Jeremiah yelled, jumping in your backseat with Eli.

“Well, alright then. See you in a bit, okay?”

“See you in a bit,” you smiled.

Steve walked to his car, hope blossoming in his chest, a tiny green sprout of hope that this would work out in his favor. If he could play his cards right and hang long enough, until the boys were passed out, then you could finally have the conversation you needed to have. And then he would know. Either that sprout would spread and bloom or wilt and die.

Chapter 12

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Thanks so much for taking the time to read my little story! Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist. 😊 And replies and reblogs are always appreciated if you enjoy it. ❤️❤️❤️

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cowboybarzy · 10 months

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see it with the lights out — mat barzal

masterlist (read part 1 first!!)

ty for the love on this so far!! I hope part 3 will be out in a week and then part 4 after that :)

word count: 2k warnings: drinking/being drunk

TWO — you can feel it on the way home

october 14th

"No, it's okay. I just miss you," you told your boyfriend over the phone.

"I miss you, too. See you next weekend, though, yeah?"

"Yes. Can't wait. Love you."

"Love you, too," Lando said before hanging up. You put your phone away and tried to ignore the teasing smile Liana, Mat's sister, was giving you. She stepped back into the bathroom to finish getting ready.

You were back in New York for a few days for Mat's season home opener. Liana was staying with you in your apartment for the week she was here, which their parents took a hotel room, since the two of you were also very close. She was a few years younger than you and Mat so for a while she was his annoying little sister and you both excluded her, but eventually as Mat got busier with hockey you came to love her like your own sister.

"Honestly, I'm just surprised you're still with him," she said after a few minutes, stepping back into the room. Before you had time to react to that statement though, she elaborated. "We all just thought when you moved to New York you'd both finally get over yourselves and start dating."

"Who?," you asked confused.

"Who?," she said dramatically, dropping her makeup brush from her face. "Please, (y/n). We all know you and Mat have been doing it for years."

"What?!" You almost screamed. A laugh burst out of you, but a new emotion came up as well. One you couldn't quiet put your finger on. "We're friends."

"Oh, please! As if you haven't done it. What the hell were you doing in his bedroom all these nights then?"

"Wha- We-. No! We're friends. That's it!" You had difficulty forming sentences, confused as to why she was accusing you of sleeping with her brother.

"So you've never even kissed?"

"No!" Now she was sporting the same shocked look as you. That was technically a lie. You and Mat had kissed once, but it was during a game of truth or dare when you were 15 so that hardly counted. You chalked the butterflies and electric touch you shared up to teenage hormones and alcohol and only thought about that kiss in your deepest dreams.

"Wait, who else thinks we're more than friends?"

Liana hesitated for a bit before answering. "Uh, your family, my family. Pretty much everyone who knows the two of you." Your jaw dropped. You couldn't believe it. "Yeah. We all talk about it behind your back all the time."

"Oh my god," you moaned humiliated and buried your face in your hands. "Why?"

"I don't know. You always act like you're a couple and there's a vibe."

"You're basing this off of a vibe?"

"Yeah! Especially since everyone feels it. We just thought you didn't want to do long distance, that it was just a casual thing, when he moved to Seattle and then here that's why you didn't tell us. And then when you moved here we were all just waiting for the call to tell us you were together." Your head fell in your hands again. "I'm pretty sure your dad started a pool to see how long it would take. Well, turns out we all lost."

"I assure you Mat and I are just friends! Always have been, always will be." She raised her eyebrows, shaking her head.

"I don't know girl, I'm sensing a lot of love between you. It's kind of gross actually how you energy you give off every time you look at each other."

"Well, then your senses are off. I'm in a great relationship. Lando's great. We have a lot of fun together. I... love him." You stumbled over the word 'love' as a lump in your throat formed. You were having difficulty saying and believing yourself as you started to question your relationship with Mat. You were just friends, right? Years of friendship flashed in your mind. There were times you thought about kissing him or when you thought you were attracted to him, but he was always dating girls almost the polar opposite of you so you never thought too much about it. You often cuddled on the couch while watching a movie or were affectionate with each other but a lot of your female friendships were the same so why would this one with Mat be any different just because he's a guy.

"Okay. If you say so." Liana returned to the bathroom and came out a few minutes later ready to go.

With a final few sprays of perfume you were ready to head out as well to catch the train to UBS arena. Liana sensed your mood and didn't bring the topic up again.

You met their parents and the rest of the Isles ladies and families at the arena. You went to the family area first, where they were hosting a bit of a welcome back party with lots of food and drinks for the players families. Sydney, Matt Martin's wife and your favorite life of the party, immediately came over with lots of hugs and interest about your last few months. You hadn't seen any of them since the last season ended and even before then not much since you started dating Lando.

"I still can't believe you hung out in Monaco all summer. I'm so jealous."

"I was there like a week total. But yeah, it was so much fun."

"Mat and Lando got a long?," she asked as if she already knew the answer.

"They did! Why is everyone asking me that?" She chuckled.

"Just a lot of male energy." You shook your head with a forced smile. What Liana told you not too long ago rang in the back of your mind and you felt nauseous all of the sudden. Why was the thought of you and Mat being together romantically suddenly such a big deal? You'd always seen him as a friend but now the second you thought of him your heart started pounding.

"Nope. All good." You forced another smile. "Excuse me."

When you somewhat gracefully exited the family area you purposefully chose to head to the bathrooms further away to avoid running into more people. You needed a few minutes to collect yourself and sort your mind from all of the confusion.

Again, flashbacks and memories from the years of friendship with Mat surfaced your mind. However, you were looking at them through a different lens. Every touch, every smile, every fight brought up a different emotion than it did in the moment. Your heart swelled at the thought of him and you started craving his touch.

But Lando… The guilt over your little crisis crept in and only made this whole situation worse. When you met Lando, you were done with school and were just trying to figure out what you were going to do with your life. You loved that your job offered so much flexibility and opportunity to work remotely, but you couldn’t really see yourself doing the whole mundane 9-5 thing yet. And Lando was able to give you that carefree travel lifestyle that you were craving so you jumped into a relationship. It all moved very quickly. You relationship was serious enough that you could honestly say that you loved him, but not enough to have thought about a future with him. You never indulge in the thought of where your relationship was headed so you just enjoyed the moment. You were young. Now was the time to do it.

With that conclusion in mind, you pulled yourself together in the bathroom stall and got your phone out to text Mat. He should still be able to see it before he had to get ready to step on the ice for pregame.

you: made it! score a goal for me tonight, will ya :)

mat: will do my best

mat: see you after if you don’t get too drunk

you: hey! that was one time! those cocktails are strong!!!!

mat: lmao I was told you had 5…

you: I had a bad day:/ and you were losing…

mat: won’t happen today ;)

you: good! break a skate and don’t show off too much

mat: never :)

***

The game actually did go very well and Mat scored his first goal of the season like he promised. You were sat in the lower bowl with Mat’s parents and sister and some of the other family members. While Buffalo did score first in the period, the Isles came back with three goals in the next two and won the game.

This just made the after party a lot more fun. You all met up at the players favorite bar, not too far from the arena for a chill after party. Or at least it started out chill but escalated to a club vide rather quickly as the boys were riding that first win of the season.

When Mat had joined you, things were awkward at first when you saw him, but only because you made them like that. He didn’t even notice anything was wrong. He was glowing and grinning like a champion and hugged you like that as well, spinning you around until you got dizzy.

But you remembered your little pep talk in the bathroom that solidified you decision. He was your friend. Nothing more. Because you had Lando. With the help of a few drinks, acting more natural around Mat became easier.

You danced and laughed and watched him get increasingly more drunk with each song that played. Eventually you had enough and pulled him to a private corner to talk. He never drank like that, especially not during his season. “What the hell is wrong with you?,” you yelled at him over the music.

“What?,” he slurred, leaning against the wall for support.

“That! Why are you so drunk?”

“Where’s your boyfriend tonight?,” he countered as if he didn’t hear you.

“What?” The change of topic threw you.

“Your boyfriend. London. Landon. La…” He kept mumbling random names as if he was trying to find the right one.

“Lando,” you corrected him in a snappy voice.

“What kind of name is that?” He laughed, drunkenly, and almost fell over had you not caught him and pushed him back against the wall.

“Says Mat with one ‘t’.” He shrugged.

“Where is he anyway? Too busy for you?” You rolled your eyes and could feel yourself getting angry at him. While it was true Lando was busy this weekend with promo stuff for McLaren, it wasn’t a big deal.

“Yes. He’s an athlete with a busy schedule. You should understand.”

“He’s always too busy for you. You’re always gone to see him but every time I call or text you’re never with him. He always has this or that. Why are you with him?”

Here it was. What he wanted to say months ago he could finally get it out. “What is your problem with him? He’s not done a single thing to offend you. Yes, he’s busy but I don’t care. I have plenty of things to do and see while he’s doing his job. You should be happy for me.”

“How can I be happy when you’re not with me?! And I know that fucking selfish of me to say but I fucking miss you!” You grew soft at his admission, but only for a second, because he continued. “He doesn’t know you like I do. How can he make you happy when he’s never around? His job is so dangerous, he could die at any moment. Then what? If he gets fired then what? You’d still be with him?”

“Fuck, Mathew, so what? You’re job isn’t that much more reliable than his? You constantly on the go, too! You could get fired or injured at any moment, too. So what? What the hell is your issue?” You didn’t realize you started yelling. When he didn’t respond you lightly pushed him out of anger to try and force a response out of him. “So what, Mathew? Give me a real answer. I’m so sick of this. Of you being so passive aggressive for no reason. What? So what? What is your-” His eyes darkness and he pushed off the wall to stand taller.

“He doesn’t fucking love you like I do.”

#mat barzal #lando norris #siwtlo series #mat barzal imagine #mat barzal fic #mat barzal fanfiction #lando norris fic #mat barzal x reader #lando norris imagine #new york islanders #hockey x f1 #hockey fics #nhl fics #nhl imagine #f1 imagine #f1 fics

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zushikiss · 1 year

Text

Searching for you!

⤷ scaramouche x fem!reader

Season 1, Episode 5 ─ a kiss worth remembering

8:17 pm, the same day

You and scaramouche park outside an expensive looking cafe, immediately you notice the lack of cars around, or lack of people in general, but before you could make a comment scaramouche already went outside to open the door for you, smiling as you thanked him he only nodded in acknowledgement before starting to make his way to the cafe.

"That's weird, there's not a lot of people around.."

"Yeah, I rented the whole place out for us."

"What? why??"

"Well I didn't want anyone to bother us, plus having paparazzis around for the first date isn't ideal now, is it?"

You could only shut your mouth as you felt a smile tug on your lips, he opened the door for you before he took you to one of the booths, soon enough a waiter took your order.

"I'll have a [your dessert and drink of choice]"

"I'll have a slice of your blueberry cheesecake and a caffè americano."

You giggled at how ironic his order is, now that you look at it, his hair kinda looks like a blueberry.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, just kinda ironic that you ordered a blueberry cheesecake when you kinda look like one."

"Oh yeah?, well you look like a blueberry too."

Before you could retaliate the waiter was already placing the desserts on your desk, however the indigo haired man sitting in front of you wanted to say something else, 'you remind me of a blueberry since they're my favorite..' , however he couldn't find the strength to say those words out loud.

Once the both of you were finished eating he decided to bring you somewhere else, and in a matter of minutes you were parked near a dark and secluded playground, stepping out of his car you excitedly ran over to the swings.

"Come here Scaramouche! Push me."

"You know you can call me a nickname, right? Scara's a bit too long."

"Oh, then what would you want me to call you?"

"Can i tell you something?"

"Sure.. Go ahead."

He started to tell you about his real name, kunikuzushi, his strict mother who wanted him to take over her company, he told you about the betrayals that he experienced, though it was a bit shocking to have him open up, you were glad he felt comfortable enough with you to do so, little did you know that the feeling was mutual.

He didn't quite know why he was telling you this, there were members from his band that he'd known for several years yet they don't know any of this, he can't explain it but he feels at ease with you, exactly why he started to look for you after your eventful kiss the other night.

He felt comfortable with you around, you brought him peace, something he could only find with music, that was it! He felt the same way with you as he did with music.

The same thing that led to his and his mother's arguments, but if you were to be the start of an argument between him and his mother then he would defend you until the end, there's some things that he just can't explain and you're one of them, or rather he can't explain why he feels at peace with you around, but rather than trying to figure out why he feels like this he'd rather just bask in the happiness he currently feels, after all he of all people should know how nothing is permanent, however he wishes for you to stay by his side, even though you haven't been around for very long.

The both of you sit on the swings in a comfortable silence, he stares at you as the moonlight highlights your features, this is the first time he's seen you clearly and he wishes for this scenery to be forever engraved in his mind, as a matter of fact, he thinks it already is.

The both of you started walking back to the car since it was already getting cold and he didn't wanna drive you home so late.

"Can I kiss you?"

He blurts out, his straightforwardness catches you off guard, when he realizes his own words, or rather when he realizes how quiet you've been he immediately attempts to take back his statement.

"Nevermind, i'm sorry, I don't know what that was ab-"

"Yes you can."

And he looks at you before his own body moves on its own accord, he moves nearer to you, your back hitting the back of his car as he looks at you once more as if to ask if you're sure and you nod, his hand travels to your cheeks, cupping your face before his lips finally meet yours, you could still taste the blueberry cheesecake he had earlier, his lips are soft and he smells amazing, when you pull away he does the same to catch his breath, his forehead resting on yours while his hands stayed still, he pulls you in for another kiss, though he stopped when his lips were a centimeter away from yours, he was waiting for you to close the gap and you did, his hands lowered to your waist as he pulled you closer, and once the both of you finally pulled away for the second time he nudged your head to rest on your chest, he did this so he can hide how flustered he is and just to feel your warmness for a bit more.

"Ready to go home?"

"Yeah.."

masterlist | previous | next

notes ; surprise! LMFAOOO this is definitely how i planned this and stuff but its fine, also a little self promo maybe, i have another smau! i haven't started it yet but yk maybe if you wanna check it out 👀 its a modern!au and also actor!scara and a sprinkle of ceo!scara so hehe, here's the link :))

sypnosis ; after attending your favorite band's concert and after party, you decide to drink your heart out, and when you finally sober up, you're left with a "call me" note, thousands of messages of your best friend yelling at you to wake up, a hangover, and allegations to beat, yesterday, you were a normal fan who admired 6reeze, and now you apparently stole a kiss from one of the members, what do you do when you find it he's searching for you?

taglist ; @llghtsnoww @justawalkingdisaster @sakiimeo @cynzcir @dollpoetwriting @vvivietteq @plinkuro @xiaosoneandonly @kunicrush @belovedxiao @raideneiari @samtheweirdhuman @maehemthemisfit @sakurapeach @yoshikuno @shinjimouche @ferumie @beriiov @fujimoribaby @samyayaya @cookichuu @eimuros @lovelyiez @ieathairs @ajaxkinnie @elfxiao @kazuhacumslut 1/3 (bold means i can't tag you)

taglist status ; [ closed ], send an ask to be removed

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itskindamagical · 11 months

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Criminal Minds: the moment they realized they are in love with you

AN: this will be multiple posts, each part with a different character and different plot line. I plan on writing the reader as gender neutral. I’ve seen this fanfic trope from multiple different fandoms, so I thought I might give it a try. Please remember I’ve only seen the first few seasons of Criminal Minds.

AN edit: sorry this took so long and that the story is so long. I got carried away writing this one <3

Part 1: Spencer Reid

You and Spencer were at a quaint, small, family owned restaurant. It was nice and semi-formal. Spencer felt bad for cancelling your last two dinners together, so he took you here, a place from his childhood. He claimed to have a handful of good memories from this place, which made you happy. There’s nothing you liked more than to see Reid happy. When you walked in, you took in your surroundings: small tables, all cleaned and organized to a “T”, some booths with what you believed to be genuine leather, and the small glow of lights and candles. You could tell why Spencer liked it here.

“This place is really beautiful, Spencer,” you looked up at him and caught the small smile he threw at you, satisfied you liked his childhood favorite restaurant.

You both sat down at a small table in the back next to the windows. Outside, the sun had set, the sky turning dark purple. You started to scan over the menu, noticing that Spencer hadn’t even glanced in the direction of his. You smiled softly. He already knew what he was going to eat.

“Did you want to-um- get an appetizer?” He asked, his voice less confident than usual. You noticed his usual stims were more animated. He seemed like he didn’t know what to do with his hands-cracking his knuckles and flexing his fingers-or how to look at you-his eyes would gaze at you and quickly retreat away.

“No, I’m alright.” You didn’t want to tack on additional prices to the bill, which Reid basically demanded he payed fully. It made sense to you why Reid said he didn’t come here too often, given the expensive entrees and fancy drink selection.

“Are you sure? Like I said, I’m covering the bill, so feel free to.. indulge,” the way his cheeks flushed made you wonder what meaning he was hiding behind that statement. Spencer wasn’t the insinuating type, so maybe he didn’t mean anything by it. He did seem a little off tonight, and it made you a little flustered.

“Uh- actually, could you help me pick between these two entrees?” You pointed to your possible selections on the menu. You were going to comment on how silly his insisting on paying the bill was, but you wanted to calm him down and not add to the awkwardness. It was bizarre. You and Spencer were close and had been for a while. When you two would share a meal or go out, you both felt comfortable. Reid talked your ear off, something he tried not to do with most people. It was sweet, and you were honored that he was so at ease around you. All of this tension made this experience- which was supposed to be enjoyable- a little less pleasant.

Reid pointed to the second option you showed him, “I really think you’d like this. It’s what I’m getting.” You both smiled at the serendipitous way you happened to have similar taste.

“I’ll take your word for it. It sounds great.” That seemed to settle things a little. The waiter came over, asking about what they could get you both to drink, boasting about the extensive list of wine and cocktails. Spencer requested just water. He was the DD, and even though a single glass of wine wouldn’t get him drunk, he wanted to keep you at ease knowing you would both get home safe. You hmmed a little, showing your appreciation. Spencer was always extra courteous, one of the many things you loved about him. The waiter took your drink order and asked about appetizers, which you declined.

“We are ready to order,” Spencer remarked. He told the waiter what he wanted and you echoed this, telling the waiter you would have the same.

“Great choice. That will be out of a little bit for you both. Enjoy the rest of your night together.” The waiters comment made you pause for a moment. “Your night together?”

Oh. Oh. The waiter thought you and Spencer were on a date. You and Spencer dressed in formal attire. faces flushed. Awkwardly talking. Ordering the same meal. You and Spencer were on a date. You and Spencer were on a date. Now Spencers demeanor made a lot more sense. You could feel your face turning hot. Oh my god. He was trying to be romantic with you? God. Your heart started to flutter. You secretly wanted badly for the waiter to be right. Was Reid nervous because it looked like you were on a date, or because you were on a date?

“Y/N?” Spencer rose his brows in confusion. You immediately snapped out of your little trance- face hot, mind nervous. It almost relieved you to see he didn’t notice your flustered realization. Now your head was swimming with thoughts, arguing over and over on whether this whole romantic dinner really was romantic or just a friendly bonding experience.

“S-sorry,” you paused, grasping to change the subject. “H-how was your last case? Serial arsonist in Miami right?” You watched as Spencers demeanor completely shifted. His face wiped clean of any other emotion but focus. He spoke with clarity. His pupils dilated a little bit, which you always found funny, as it indicated that he was happy. A serial arson case, making Spencer happy. You know it wasn’t the case itself. Spencer loved sharing knowledge and info dumping about his job and interests. You always prompted him to do so. It frustrated you when he’d get shot down- something people did far too often. You loved listening just as much as Spencer loved sharing. Everything he said was interesting and insightful. You found you always had a lot to learn from Spencer. You nodded your head to his explanations, responding and prompting him with questions.

You and Spencer had found a nice rhythm when making and avoiding eye contact. When you first met, making and breaking eye contact was very awkward, but Spencers anxiety and trouble with social norms lessened after you both grew as friends. It delighted you that Spencers walls melted away with you. That was a two way street as you found yourself sharing parts of yourself you hadn’t with other people, even those you considered close. Spencer had started reciting the profile, most likely word for word what had been said at the real briefing, then he began relating it to an old arson case- one you had heard about multiple times before. Spencer did a good job at putting things in perspective for you, and you didn’t mind him recalling old information, he always found a way to make it relevant and interesting again. He was always so easy to listen to.

You were listening, but the sound of the door opening and a pair of particularly loud heels clacking pulled your attention away for a moment, and maybe you were looking for an excuse to not stare into Spencers completely captivating eyes for they made you extra anxious. You watched oddly as a fancy couple was lead to a table near by where you were dining. Almost immediately your server sped over to them, asking about drinks and throwing recommendations out. Was that group of people on a date as well? Was this place a popular romantic spot? The idea of this being a date absolutely flooded your mind. It was anxiety inducing but also filled you with energy and joy. You had be harboring your real feelings for Spencer for a while.

You turned your head back to Spencer, hearing him clear his throat to get your attention. He was trying to hide his frown. A pit opened in your stomach. Guilt. He went through all this to impress you, be with you.

“Oh, Spencer, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stop listening, I was-,”

“No. It’s alright..” he paused. “I shouldn’t have bored you with that old case. You’ve probably heard it a million times by now anyways.” He avoided eye contact with you.

“Bored?” You were heavily suprised, then realized you probably did seem disinterested. “Spencer, I’m not bored, you could never bore me,” he looked up at you and you made a point to gaze directly to his eyes which you had been dodging. “I love hearing you talk, I love listening to you. I love watching you recite facts, and share about your work.” You paused, and felt like you should keep your next comment to yourself, but said it anyways. “It’s cute.” This made Spencers eyes widen. Cute? He couldn’t really understand how his rambling could be cute, so you elaborated. “The way your pupils widen and you start to talk with your hands- sort of motioning and emoting with them,” you were in deep now, so you kept describing him, this time in way that would suggest you were looking at him with a sort of fondness not just a friend would use, “you start to grin and you don’t even notice. You tuck your hair back behind your ears. Your eyes practically glimmer.” He’s blushing and you can tell by his wandering eyes that he’s now hyper aware of his reactions and expressions. He was shocked. He was the profiler, but you could read him like a book. He never noticed how much you payed attention, how much you really cared.

“And it’s not even just they way you are when you talk, it’s how you talk and what you talk about. I think sometimes you forget that you are a genius. You speak in a way that encapsulates your knowledge and foresight. I always feel like I have something to learn, some room to grow when I’m with you. It doesn’t matter if it’s an old or new case, you bring forth new knowledge or a new perspective. The way you view the world is so fascinating to me, so of course I love it when you talk. I look forward to it. Its silly the way it excites me. I think about it a lot, how much I’ve learned from you. I practically count down the days until we get to see each other again,” at this point you were the one rambling a bit. “So please never think you are boring me, because you are probably the most exciting part of my life, and I truly enjoy listening to you talk. Even if I didn’t like the particular subject you were talking about- which doesn’t happen but if it did- I would still listen. What you say is important and you deserve to be heard. I’m sorry if anyone has made you feel otherwise and if I made you feel like your words were insignificant. Spencer, I’m your friend, and I’m here to listen.” You smiled up at him, not noticing your face being all hot and the way your heart was beating.

On the contrary, Spencer was all too focused on the way his pulse paced and how his face was as red as a cherry. Holy fuck. The awe he was in was simply indescribable. You basically confessed your love to him, just without the literal words themselves. At least, he saw it that way. He came all this way hoping he would have the guts to confess his romantic feelings for you. It took Spencer so so long to come to terms with his “crush” on you, and every time you spoke, his emotions grew in intensity. The way his heart was pounding. His soul practically shaking in his body. The adrenaline and the absolute adoration he felt when he looked at you, talked to you, thought about you. Spencer was often confused by his feelings, but now it made sense. He loved you, and wanted you more than anything. Fueled by his feelings and not really thinking, he abruptly stood up from his chair, leaned over the table, and kissed you. Your eyes widened and you stiffened in surprise, but soon understood what was happening. You stood up from your chair and reached out to cup his face with your hands, but Spencer pulled away, shocked.

“Sorry,” he looked broken with a frown of heartache. “I didn’t mean to-,” you reached out and grabbed his hands. Pulling him closer, you kissed him again, firmly but lovingly. You let go of his hands and cupped his face. Spencer quickly realized and kissed you back, placing his hands on your hips and slightly deepening your kiss. Your lips were soft and so were his. He tasted like mint chapstick, which made you smile into the kiss as you knew he would, almost obsessively, use chapstick to deal with his dry lips. You both pulled away after a tender moment.

“Don’t be sorry,” you gazed at him sweetly. You could see the glisten in his eyes, filled with deep emotion. He stared back at you, absorbed by his feelings for you. You moved your head in, going for another kiss, but saw a food runner walking towards your table with your meals. You tapped Spencers hand and motioned with your head to the seat, hoping he would understand to sit back down. No. He frowned in confusion.

“Spencer, the food,” oh. He sat down right as the runner came to the table. The runner placed your dinner in front of you both and told you to enjoy your meals. Wow. It really did look and smell delicious. You smiled sheepishly at Spencer, and felt just a little bit awkward, having just passionately kissed him in a restaurant. He softly grinned back and, after a moment, glanced at your plate. He motioned for you to try your food. You grabbed your fork and tried to craft the perfect first bite. You looked at Spencer again and finally decided to eat. The food was full of flavor and had a nice texture to it. You absentmindedly licked your lips, which Spencer found adorable.

“It’s really good!” This made Spencer smile wide and he shook his head at your cuteness.

“I knew you’d like it.”

#criminal minds #dr spencer reid #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #spencer reid x you #spencer x reader #spencer criminal minds #spencer x y/n

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lovesickgolbach · 2 years

Text

New Adventures || MV33

Description: When Max had found out that you and him were expecting your first child, he instantly knew that it was his duty to be the best husband and father to your unborn child.

Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy, kinda mentions of sex???, swearing, fluff, sorta sad but in a happy way :)

a/n: miami gp max>>>>>>

enjoy!

Y/n

It had been a regular Monday morning. Max was out at the factory after yesterdays race, doing the regular debrief with his team. It had only been 3 races into the season, but you could already feel how the pressure was starting to weigh down on him after all those races resulted in DNF’s. You felt bad for your husband, wishing there was something else you could do besides be a shoulder to cry on.

You sighed laying your hand on your lower stomach. “I’m sure we’ll get a better time to tell daddy about you.” you spoke softly with a small smile. You and max had been married for nearly a year, after dating for 5. Kids was never anything you had really discussed or planned but you both weren’t against the idea of having them in the future. But one drunken night changed the ‘future’ to ‘now’.

Max texted you that he was getting onto his jet, on his way to fly back home to you. You smiled reading the text, deciding to get started on dinner.

You had just put the lasagna in the oven when the front door opened. Max smiled at you as he entered “Schatje” he said, wrapping his arms around you tightly. “I missed you so much” he said and you giggled. “Love, you left this morning, it hasn’t even been 8 hours” you said laying your head on his chest. “8 hours is already a long time!” he exclaimed dramatically. You playfully rolled your eyes at him.

He walked to the cabinet, pulling out 2 wine glasses. “Drink?” he held a glass up towards you. You looked at him for a second then at the glass and back at him, slightly panicking.

“Y/n? Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” He giggled slightly at your pale face. The room was silent for a while before you spoke.

“I’m pregnant Max” you breathed out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“What?”

“I’m pregnant”

“Are you joking?”

“Do I ever say no to wine?” you spoke seriously.

“Oh my god! You’re serious!” His eyes widened and his face lit up. “We’re having a baby?!” He jumped excitedly and ran into your arms, hugging you tight.

“We’re having a baby.” You spoke reassuring him and hugging back tight. You could feel his hand on your stomach. “A little one of us” he said proudly with excitement laced into his voice.

Later that night you had been cuddling with him in bed. His hand barely leaving your stomach. “Are you really sure there’s a baby in there?” he looked at you. “Well I took like 6 tests that all came out positive” you giggled “so I would hope they were all telling the truth” you smiled at him and he kissed you gently but full of passion. You kissed back, moving so your bodies were now fully wrapped around one another. Suddenly, he pulled back.

“I’m retiring” he stated simply and you were caught off guard by is sudden statement. “What!? Max no!” you sat up, looking at him. “Are you crazy?! You love Formula 1! You can’t just retire!” You hit his shoulder.

“Ow! What was that for!” He hit you back.

“Ow! You’re being stupid! That’s why!” you rubbed your shoulder where he hit you.

“I’m not being stupid Y/n.. I mean look at how this year is going! I have zero points, the car keeps fucking dying on me and the team couldn’t care less! Plus I want to raise this baby with you, I don’t want work to get in the way of us, our little family.” You looked at him unsure “Max..”

“You’re not changing my mind Y/n. I’m not missing this for anything. I’m retiring after this season and I will be here, present, to raise this baby, together” He smiled at you. God, you could drown in those blue eyes of his.

“Alright” you spoke, kissing him again.

_______

Since that day you had told Max, you had found out that your baby was due in early September. Max was ecstatic, taking to your belly, kissing it, touching it, the works. It made you happy seeing how excited he was.

By the time the fourth race had rolled around, you had gotten the ‘ok’ from your doctor to tell everyone. You didn’t want to risk telling people too early, as the first few months of pregnancy is crucial. Per usual, you and Max had arrived at the paddock early on Sunday morning so that he could do all his pre race interviews and whatnot. You waited in his drivers room, keeping yourself occupied with your phone while you waited for him.

He came in a while later, closing the door behind him as he got undressed to put his suit on. “Are you ready? For the race” You asked, eyeing him up and down.

“Hey! My eyes are up here!” he giggled, “but yes, I am ready. Pole definitely helps” he smiled at you, letting the top half of his race suit rest on his hips.

“Go kick some ass out there, daddy” you took his hand and laid on your belly and smiled up at him.

“Oh I definitely will” He smiled, planting a quick kiss on his lips and walking out to the garage with you. He passed you a set of headphones so that you could hear the team radio as well.

He left a while later, traveling to the grid for the start of the race.

“I can not believe it ladies and gentleman! Max Verstappen Wins the Grand Prix!”

You sat in the back of the post race conference room, nerves building in your hands as the drivers took their seats next to Max, Checo in P2 sitting on his right hand side and Hamilton in P3, sitting to the left. You nervously played with your wedding ring as the post race conference started.

Question after question came at the drivers, all about race and their cars, etc. Max had answered and the announcer started to speak again, ending off the session.

No ones POV

“Anything else that you would like to add?” the announcer looked at the drivers. Max raised his hand and brought the mic closer to his mouth. “I would like to actually” he spoke as the room’s attention turned on him. “Um” he spoke nervously giggling, “This will be my final season competing in Formula 1.”

The room was silent, the media trying to understand what he had just said. “After the race in Abu Dhabi, I will be retiring as a driver, to spend time with my growing family” he smiled proud looking at his wife then back at the cameras. "Y/n and I are expecting a baby due in September" he said smiling proudly at the camera. “That’s all” he got up and walked out with the other drivers, Y/n tried her best to follow them out, but there was press following them everywhere, they were following her too, cameras and questions were being thrown at her from every direction.

Eventually, she managed to catch up to Max, holding his hand tight as he guided them through the paddock, thanking the people who were throwing “congratulations” from every direction.

“This baby was going to have one busy life” Max giggled at Y/n .

“Oh for sure!” She smiled.

____

9 Months had now gone by, you were due any day now. You were sat on your couch at home, smiling as you watched the podium ceremony, Max had yet won another race, leading the championship by more than 80 points, and after the start of the season you couldn’t have been more happy for him. You snapped a picture of your belly and the tv, posting it on your story and captioning it “My two favorite people in one picture”

You got up, needing to pee for what felt like the millionth time, as you approached the bathroom you felt the feeling of liquid spilling down between your legs. “damn it!” you mumbled going to grab a piece of toilet paper to clean yourself up, when you realized how big the wat patch actually was. “Shit...”you froze in place as a sharp pain shot through your uterus, causing you to collapse onto the floor. You sat there for a while, doing the breathing exercises you had learnt in birthing class. Eventually the pain had subsided and you managed to grab your phone, dialing Max.

Cathy, his PR manager answered. “Hey Y/n! What a race huh?” she beamed through the phone. Another pain shot through your system, causing you to crouch down and hold you belly. You groaned in pain, “I-It’s time..” was all you had managed to say. Cathy instantly knew. “Oh shit! Alright, I’m putting Max on a plane right now!” she basically tossed the phone to Max, “Hello? Y/n?” he was already walking to the car, his heart broke at the sound of you in pain. “I’m on my way okay? I promise I’ll be right there with you. You just need to breathe okay? I love you so much.”

Max had arrived at the hospital a while later, an ambulance had to rush you there as well. And before you knew it, you were holding your little baby in your arms. “We made this...” Max said amazed. “We did” You looked up at him and smiled big. "Our Little family."

maxverstappen1

maxverstappen1: And so our new adventure begins... @ yourusername thank you for my angel Evangeline "Eva" Verstappen Born 2:14 am

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a/n: oo lemme post this! enjoy lmao its a tiiiiny blurb i had sitting in my drafts for a while so take it as a placeholder. bye bye for now

#max verstappen x oc #max imagine #max verstappen imaginemax verstappenmax verstappen x readermax verstappen oneshotf1 x readerformula 1formula 1 x readerformula 1 x youmv x y #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen x reader #mv33 #max verstappen x you #formula 1 imagine #f1 imagine #f1 x you #f1 x reader

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hopes-peak-postal-company · 7 months

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For Mod Hajime, i hope this doesnt sound weird but could you do a platonic fatherly yandere imagine post with Elias Bouchard? I like to imagine he fixates on a new Institute hire who doesnt know the fears are real and just decides "Its Child time. There is nothing I wont do to make my new child happy." But he also has to work around Jon and them getting in his way because they just dont GET that he's a Father now.

A FATHER'S LOVE!

"surely you'd choose your father over your friends, wouldn't you?"

summary. getting a job at a spooky academic institute offers toms of spooky outcomes. you just didn't expect to get a father figure and a overlyprotective friend group.

contents. platonic yandere! elias; elias is a wet cat grandpa; the archivist gang are slightly yandere; happens right after season 1

✦ It was difficult. Getting by in the big London city and rent to your flat was quite ridiculously high, even for usual london rent standard. But thankfully, a position in The Magnus Institute had opened and you managed to get the spot after wrangling out your best qualities to the HR like you're trading them.

✦ Now, you were aware of what you were getting into. I mean, an institute that's notorious for having many people going MIA or dying, but this was the only job that accepted you out of the millions you applied for and frankly, it pays better than most of them.

✦ So, you worked as the institute's librarian. It shocked you to know that they have their own personal library but at the same time, you kind of expected it. After all, it is an academic institute and there's bounds to be numerous books and soucres to cite for every statement given, regardless of how strange there are.

✦ You've met a couple on the job. Some were nice and often has small talks with you while some simply comes and goes, not even bothering to talk to you unless they're checking a book out. It was fine, of course, you can't help but feel disheartened. After all, all you do is stand by, organize the library and do nothing. It gets a bit lonely sometimes.

✦ And then, one day, a certain someone came to the library and it was no one other than big boss himself— Elias Bouchard. You never met the man before, only hearing him from Rosie and the others, but he is generally well-disliked by his own staff. You had nothing to complain about him and honestly, you find his company nice.

✦ He comes to the library whenever he has free time and then would talk to you. It wasn't just small talk, not just noise coming out of his mouth to fill in the silence, but he talked to you. He told you so many things— his opinions, his likes and dislikes —and even asked you about yours.

✦ Elias would listen intently, taking in every information about yourself in a manner so ... different from how he usually carried himself. Elias Bouchard was a prideful asshole and you knew that obviously well from just his body language, and yet when it comes to you, he is oddly soft. He reminds you almost like a dad for some reasons.

✦ And your relationship with your boss became like that. You didn't mind, you understand to some degree but even still you couldn't wrap your mind around why he chose specifically you. Maybe he didn't choose or maybe he did, but either way, this outcome was better than him hating you.

✦ But then, only a few months into your job, you suddenly got promoted to assistant archivist, joining the very few others in the archives in their day-to-day life.

✦ It was ... suffocating at first. The institute did suffer damage from the Prentiss Attack as you heard from the other employees and with the archives being the main target for the worms, it was not surprise that the Archivist and his team suffered greatly. Though injured, all of them still came back in one piece so that was a good thing.

✦ It took a while getting to know the others: Martin was the quickest to befriend and he'd bring you your favourite cup of tea whenever he can. Tim was the second, jokingly flirting with you at first but he was comfortable to be around and somehow both of your intensive knowledge on memes made the two of you friends. Sasha, on the other hand, took a bit more effort but in the end, she was just as fun and cheery as the other two outside work.

✦ Jon, on the other hand... He was wary, of course, a bit of an asshole too but you were determined to let his walls down, and so was the team. He gradually came to accept (aka get comfortable with) your existence and doesn't glare you like a cat you just rudely woke up.

✦ Elias... Elias isn't too pleased with this development though as you come find. He finds every excuse in the book to have you in office, stalling you just so he could spend more time with you. He had moved to the archives for one very specific reason and that was so he can watch you carefully.

✦ I mean, how couldn't he? You were so nice to him, oblivious to the concept of the entities and you didn't even care if he gets a bit 'spooky' (as Tim puts it) at times. In fact, he claimed you as his kid the moment you seem to play along with his 'little cryptid act'.

✦ But The Archival team... Oh, did they get on his nerves. But he couldn't do anything, no, he was sure you'll know and they'll tell you about what he truly is and he couldn't risk that. He couldn't lose you to them, so he'll have to just slightly abuse his power a bit. Just to have you be by his side a bit longer.

✦ Of course, Archivist and Co. can't stand by idly and watch him take their friend! And so, everytime Elias and one of them come to your desk at the same time, it's practically a tug of war for your affection and attention.

✦ It makes you laugh honestly, seeing them fight like this. Reminds you so much like a father trying to shoo away any his kid's admirers.... Only if you knew though, then you wouldn't be laughing.

notes. hi hii!!! tysm for requesting this!! i always wanted to write for tma but couldn't. ik this is a pretty old req (i think like .... from june i think?) and i wrote this months ago but forgot to finish

reqs are alwyas open!! and dont forget to reblog any of our works here on this blog, it help us a lot!!! ty again for requesting!

#mod hajime #the magnus archives x reader #tma x reader #yandere tma #yandere the magnus archives

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blues-valentine · 9 months

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HSMTMTS: Ricky’s story arc as told by his songs. From I Think I Kinda You Know to Love You Forever (Part 1).

I’ve been thinking about how every song Ricky has performed on the show (my focus will be mostly on the original songs) tell us what his journey has been in the course of the show.

Ricky’s journey has been about changes and the future, leaving his childhood behind, how his parents relationship affects his own as well as the ability to be emotionally open. How he viewed love at the start of the show vs how he views love now. About new starts. About how happiness is a process and something he also needs to create for himself. And his songs reflect this journey very well. For this post. I'll focus on Season 1 and Season 2 for Part 1.

I’ve made countless of posts about Ricky’s growth over the course of the show and there’s some points I won’t be focusing too hard on but check them out for context: (X) (X) (X) (X)

Let’s start with the first song we hear from him on the show: I Think I Kinda, You Know. When we start the show, one of the things we learn is that the reason Ricky and Nini broke up is because she made a post on Instagram singing him this very song and telling him she loves him. She was expecting him to say it back but he freaks out and runs away. Then, the first day of school, he expects things to get back to normal with Nini but she’s dating again, has flourished (Nini’s words) and wants to audition for the lead at the school musical. Ricky decides to join too and sings this song to her during auditions in hopes of getting her back. He mentions during his little monologue that the reason he didn’t say it back is because his parents don’t say those words to each other anymore. Ricky’s parents relationship and divorce did affect the way he viewed his own romantic relationships.

Some lyrics: “It’s just three little words, yeah, it’s not a big deal, it’s not like I can’t help felling all that I feel and by now I’m sure you’re thinking it’s too obvious but just in case it’s not what I’m saying it’s I think I kinda, you know” and he closes with “guess I’m saying I don’t not love you.” He does not directly acknowledges that he loves her in front of people. He feels unsure. Nini doesn’t take this as a good sign.

Ricky gets the role of Troy. Nini gets the role of Gabriella. Still, Nini isn’t convinced that Ricky is serious and calls him out for invading her space and taking the opportunity from others. In the next episodes, Ricky tries to be a good Troy to prove Nini he is being serious but she isn’t impressed. Nini breaks up with EJ due to his jealousy (and that he food poisoned someone). Ricky takes Nini’s words about not belonging on stage, thinks he is making it worst with her and wants to drop out of the musical. But later, a conversation with Gina about how he has his own style makes him change his mind. In his family unit, everything is a mess. He finds out his parents are getting a divorce and his mom might be leaving SLC for good. He goes to talk to Nini and they share a nice moment where they agreed to still be there for each other as friends despite the chaos around the musical. He tells her about how different everything is and how scared that makes him feel. In Ricky’s mind, he wishes everything would go back to normal (and that includes Nini as his girlfriend).

I don’t even need to explain how much Ricky hates changes. It’s a statement he drops every episode until he has to overcome it full on.

By the homecoming episode, he is convinced him and Nini are over because she friend-zoned him. He goes to the dance with Big Red. In this episode, he is unreasonable annoyed that Gina brought EJ as her date (and can’t even understand why) and after a bit of a setback with Gina, he goes to apologize and their first connection occurs. Both of them have some family drama so she can relate to his situation. After, when he drives her home, he discovers a new side of Gina and confesses the reason he stayed on the show is because of her. The school musical, Troy, and having that space has allowed him to cope with his family issues and so her encouragement is something he needed. Ricky becomes the first person that gives Gina another chance instead of thinking she’s the bad seed, which brings up another song: When There Was Me And You.

I always wondered why they’d give this song to Ricky when is a Gabriella song so it must mean something for his arc. And does. On 106, Ricky offers an acoustic idea of the song which gets rejected by the drama club, except for Gina who asks to hear it. You’d think it doesn’t mean much but the song implies a lot of things with the camera blocking. It subtly implies that the idea of his relationship with Nini is related to his internal issues. We first have Ricky singing the first lines to Gina as: “I thought you were my fairy tale. My dream when I'm not sleeping. A wish upon a star that's coming true. And everybody else could tell. That I confused my feelings with the truth. When there was me and you” all of this while Nini is outside. And just when Nini enters the frame, here comes the lyrics: “I'm only left with used-to-be's and once upon a song. Now I know you're not a fairy tale. And dreams are meant for sleeping. And wishes on a star just don't come true.” Back to Ricky and Gina: “'Cause now, even I can tell…” and then frame changes on Nini leaving: “That I confused my feelings with the truth” and lastly, back to Ricky looking at Gina: “because I liked the view when there was me and you”. It subtly implies what the show keeps telling you. He feels like he needs to be with Nini because it’s the status quo in his life. Gina represents different and new and that’s scary. Nini feels steady…safe.

By 107, Ricky and Gina have become closer and their connection is very apparent. Ricky learns his mom has a new boyfriend and doesn’t know how to deal with the situation. He thinks about calling Nini since he thinks she’s the only one able to ease his mind. Just for Gina to show up and be what he needed, by understanding him and encouraging him. At this point on the show, he is very focused on his friendship with Gina, not on getting back with Nini, even when he knows she’s single now. Thanksgiving ends badly when Gina gets a call from her mom telling her they have to move again. In Ricky’s perspective, the one person that has helped him and encourage him is leaving him too. And in a way, this validates his biggest fear: Good things won’t last and changes aren’t positive.

The next episode, Gina had already left. She’s not even in this episode. Ricky is insistent and keeps texting her despite Gina not responding. In Gina’s absent, he bonds with Nini over their childhood memories and when his parents were together. They almost kiss (after Gina finally texts him she’s gone). And he is then basically back to normal now. Nini still likes him. Everything will be fine. He is back to status quo. This is when Ricky and Nini’s most important duet comes: Just For A Moment.

This song isn’t featured on the show (just on the soundtrack) but it’s acknowledged on 109. Ricky’s singing the first verse of the song to Big Red and it says: “I feel in love with the only girl that knows what I’m about…” but then Big Red thinks is about Gina. And I just think it’s funny the first and only time this song is mentioned, it’s used to remind the audience of Ricky and Gina's situationship. And the song itself is self explanatory, it’s about two people that still have feelings for each other but the most important thing is that the song talks about momentary feelings. Not long lasting. It goes: “When we're underneath the lights my heart's no longer broken. For a moment, just for a moment. When we're singing side by side there's so much left unspoken. For a moment, just for a moment. A moment in love. A moment in love. But is a moment enough?”. That’s the question. The song also talks about giving it another try in a better place and a better time. It’s basically about Season 2 and their second attempt.

The season finale has some moments such as Ricky singing Get'cha Head in the Game and getting distracted over his mom bringing her new boyfriend. This causes Ricky to drop out on the second act and seeking Nini from advice, only for that to be Gina (a recurrent theme). During intermission, his mom tells him not all couples are meant to be together and some people change. This is foreshadowing to Ricky and Nini. And just when he thought he was ready to step back and just watch, Nini is singing Breaking Free with him. Everything in Ricky’s life is changing but Nini is a constant. And you’d think him finally saying i love you on the finale is a full circle moment but is it, truly? I’ve said this, Ricky blurting out the words was more of a desperate attempt to hold onto something safe (X) since everything else in his life was changing. Gina came back only for one night (or so he thought). His mom has a new boyfriend and a new life in Chicago. He said the words Nini wanted to hear and talks about childhood (the thing he won’t let go of). Everything about Ricky’s confession feels a bit fearful and unsure. Just like that very first song.

Ricky ends Season 1 in denial about himself. He went backwards because he thinks getting back with Nini is what will make his life right again. He said “Maybe I’m just who I’ve always been” but that’s not true. He changed. He met Gina. His parents are not together anymore. And he cannot cling to Nini (who’s changing too) to achieve that desired normalcy/safety.

Season 2 is the lowest point emotionally for Ricky. He is back again with Nini but despite saying the big 3 words their relationship just proves to be out of sync. Does not help that his abandonment issues (because his mom thinks getting a divorce is running from your child) makes him clingier and paranoid while Nini wants to try new things. It doesn’t help that his life keeps changing and he can’t find a sense of fulfillment. Or the fact that Gina is back and he knows their relationship is still a big question.

Season 2 starts with Ricky and Nini’s second chance at their relationship. Everything seems to be perfect. The first song Ricky sings for the season is “Perfect Gift” which is a very cliche Christmas song. But it foreshadows one of their issues thought out the season. The lyrics are: “The perfect gift that I could give to the perfect gift (…) You were a home for me when I had no one there. I promise you that I’m not going anywhere…” and continues: “When seasons change and I’ve lost my way it’ll be okay with you by my side”. This sentiment later explodes with the song Nini wrote about the Beast (Ricky): The Rose Song. Nini felt like the Rose, trapped inside a glass. Ricky views her as this perfect girl. She feels like a something and not someone with deep layers. Ricky is holding onto Nini to maintain some sense of normalcy and this makes her feel trapped which leads to their communication issues. Ricky learns two things in 201: Gina is back at SLC for good and Nini is leaving for a music school in Denver.

Side note but I spoke about how funny it is that the same episode Ricky calls Nini “home” in his childhood home, he finds out he has to move. Talk about symbolism. So, for the following episodes, Ricky and Nini’s relationship is not compatible. It doesn’t seem like either of them know what the other wants or needs. Ricky is trying really hard to hold onto the remaining of Nini while he keeps falling apart and looking for a sense of happiness that he isn’t getting. This season, especially the first half, it feels like he cannot connect with the drama club and Gina, who used the only person to motivate him to exist in that space it’s not speaking to him. And I won’t try to repeat myself too much, I’ve said this before, Season 2 Ricky wasn’t trying to be insensitive on propose. I feel like Ricky didn’t think he had that much of an impact on Gina, probably due to his own insecurities. He had a girlfriend. He was scared and in denial. Ricky was not emotionally ready to be with Gina. And he tried really hard to avoid their situation and ultimately accepted her choice to be distanced.

On the Valentine’s Day episode, we get that very nuanced scene between Ricky and Gina that I’ve explained before (X). During this day, Ricky has been trying to sing a song for Nini but he does not find the motivation to do so since they have been out of sync the whole day. It’s Gina who gives him the idea of singing it to her over the phone. I don’t know if I could say “Even When/Best Part” is an important song because lyric wise it tells us what we already know about him clinging to her but I love the fact they sing the songs separately and they never manage to sing it together. It represents their relationship at this point extremely well.

This season actually draws a lot of parallels between Ricky and The Beast. He spends the majority of the first half kind of isolated and you can see he isn’t trying to connect with anyone except for Nini. He laches out constantly and isn’t putting effort on his own happiness but relaying on Nini. He even makes that comment to Miss Jenn. They were metaphorically The Beast and The Rose. And Gina’s arc was in a way also paralleling The Beauty/Belle (X) and this is reflected in how “Home” a song for Belle is used to point out Ricky and Gina issues from Gina’s view. So, in the next 5 episodes we don’t get Ricky related songs but emphasis on Ricky and Nini’s deteriorating relationship. We get songs like Granted and The Rose Song that are basically reflections of Nini’s desire to branch out and be herself. It all reaches the climax for Ricky’s arc on 108 when he decides to break up with Nini. He points out what we’ve been saying: he wants to protect what feels safe and by doing so he isn’t a better person. All of this takes form with Let You Go. It’s a song Ricky needed to sing to close off this part of his arc.

As the song says, he is letting go of Nini and the fantasy because their romantic relationship is broken and there’s not way to fix it without further hurting each other. Some lyrics that are key: “Tear the treehouse down, give up the fantasy”. The treehouse that represented their childhood, what was keeping their relationship alive. And “I'm pickin' up pieces left and right. Now that our hearts are both untied. It'll take time. No one can say we didn't try”. I’ve said that it was important for Ricky to have the reassurance that he at least tried to safe their relationship which is why he needed to get back with Nini on Season 1 so they could discover for themselves that they were not longer compatible and it wasn’t helping them.

Funny enough, the next episode after that it’s titled “The Transformation” making reference to The Beast “transforming” into the Prince. They even rehears this very scene. After Ricky breaks up with Nini, there’s notable differences. It’s like as he sings, picking up the pieces of his life. He helps Carlos make a song for Seb and opens up. He fully commits to the show and it’s actively taking part in it. He apologizes to Miss Jenn and accepts her relationship with his dad. The only relationship that seems to still be at odds is his relationship with Gina. And I feel a huge part of that has to do with the fact he learns EJ had a crush on her and wants to take her on a date and he might’ve thought he was doing Gina a favor by keeping the distance. It’s important to understand here that Ricky was respecting her choice to put boundaries w him.

The songs that Ricky sings as The Beast, aren’t particularly expressing something about him but I think the fact he managed to fully finish the play in the second act speaks about him understanding that he made a commitment to the group and I think it was important for him. Lastly, Ricky’s very complicated Season 2 arc ends with “Second Chance”. A song that is not just meaningful for Ricky’s arc but the others as well. For Ricky’s arc, it’s all about starting over.

In the last episode, Ricky speaks to Miss Jenn about how difficult everything has been for him and how he still isn’t sure about what he is, he came as a skater and is leaving with his second opening act as part of the drama club. He says he isn’t happy yet but it’s getting there. At this point, he is looking to move on and be a better person for himself now that his chapter with Nini is over. Ricky is finally accepting changes are impossible to avoid and that he needs to go along with it and embrace new opportunities. His part for Second Chance is very especifit: “Who knew that love could be so bittersweet when it finally meets the end? But there is somethin' in this summer wind. A moment to begin again” check notes: summer with Gina. And it continues with Ricky repeating “begin again, begin again” and another thing I think is interesting is how at the end of the full version there’s a question Ricky and Gina seem to be the only ones to sing about “what can make the fire burn? what can make the tide turn?” And you hear Ricky’s voice asking “what does it take?” As I said, Second Chance is Rina coded.

Ricky’s journey to self improving and embracing new chances starts on Season 3. I will tackle Season 3 and Season 4 in Part 2. Sorry if this was too long. If you like this please reblog, it took me so long to gather all of this.

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