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#he’s so fine I need him
merakiui · 10 months
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Now about that Stuck in a room only getting out by fucking prompt… I saw that tag, tell us more about Fatui Scaramouche PLSSSSS
Can you imagine him trying to fuck you with the intention of killing or incapacitating you!!! T_T sex so good it sends you to Celestia (literally). His stamina is endless, so you’re definitely going to be in for a long day.
I think he’d be offended that anyone or anything could ever confine him in a room. How dare this strange, mystical force manage to be greater and stronger than him! Worst of all, he’s stuck with you. >:( maybe you’re just a subordinate, an unimportant underling overseen by the Lord Harbinger, but since you’re with him he might as well put you to use. Scaramouche demands you find a way out or else he’ll give you a way out (death) if you aren’t fast enough. You hurry to try every idea that crosses your mind, desperate to get out before he loses his patience. If the fear of upsetting a powerful Harbinger doesn’t kill you, then he certainly will.
When it becomes clear that nothing is working and words on the wall finally appear, Scaramouche scoffs. This must be some joke. The only way to get out is to be intimate? Please. There must be another way. You’re inclined to agree. No way are you going to strip yourself bare and vulnerable before the Harbinger who has been so ready to strangle you since you first became locked in this room. But time passes and nothing substantial occurs, save for the unbearable stuffiness of the room. Scaramouche doesn’t seem affected by it, but you are and it’s so difficult to focus when you’re sweating buckets in your clothes. So you start small. You shrug your coat off, maybe your shoes and socks next. Scaramouche rolls his eyes at you; you’re so weak.
It isn’t until you have no choice but to render yourself half-nude that the atmosphere…changes. It’s subtle; you don’t notice Scaramouche’s eyes on you until you turn to look at him and he’s staring right at you. He turns away, scoffing about how you ought to stop ogling and use your brain to think of a way out. You’re too busy trying to keep what little dignity and pride you have left intact. Maybe Scaramouche is going insane, but he’s actually communicating a little more. Sure, most of it’s violent death threats and grumblings, but you can at least share his complaints. This room is the worst; both of you can agree on that.
It takes a while before you’re both staring at the wall again, considering the message. You investigated the entire room twice and there’s no sign of any clues that may help you escape. Your key is printed in bold lettering on a wall. There’s no other choice.
So now comes the arduous undertaking that is broaching such a topic to Lord Scaramouche. You expect him to decline right away, as he’s done so for the past few hours, but surprisingly he grabs your wrist and shoves you onto the bed that both of you have avoided ever since you became trapped.
“I’ll kill you if you touch me.” Though he says that, he’s the one with his hands on you, bloodless fingers curled tightly around your wrists to keep them pinned above your head.
You have no choice but to obey. He’s your superior and you’re just the unfortunate soul who happened to be thrown into this situation with him. Although you don’t miss the way he looks over you as if you’re something worth appreciating.
Scaramouche fucks you as if he intends to break you. He has your face pushed into the mattress so you won’t have to look at him. He’s so adamant about that. Don’t look at him. Don’t touch him. Don’t speak to him. Just let him get this over with. But it’s been three rounds now and he doesn’t seem like he intends to stop. You think you may have heard the click of a door unlocking, but it’s hard to approximate when you’re burying your head in your arms and muffling your cries and moans. You feel like an animal in heat, so tacky and hot and insatiable. Maybe it’s the thrill of doing something so intimate with someone who could end your life that has you begging for more. Or maybe it’s because a part of you genuinely enjoys this rough treatment.
So far, he’s fucked you in positions that won’t let you look at him. So you definitely surprise (and alarm) him when you turn over on your back and embrace him while he’s still buried deep. Scaramouche swears he’ll rip you to pieces, but you don’t miss the way his arms cage you possessively in return. You don’t know this—how could you, after all?—but you’re the first person to ever hug him. He hates that he enjoys this. He hates that he’s on the verge of softening up around you. And all because you had the courage to hug him! He’s a mess, but then you’re more of a mess, bruised and bitten bloody. Scaramouche promises both you and himself that he’ll kill you when this is over. But when it ends and you’re both free, he finds he can’t let you go, nor can he give you a brutal death.
You may have escaped a barren room, but you’ve just found yourself in an even bigger cage. And unfortunately this one is far more perilous than a simple room.
Of course it’s a different story if you happen to be a Harbinger as well. :)
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pearsonspearson · 14 days
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Why did eddies fine ass stop fighting again?
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jzzminex · 3 months
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HIS ARM
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mcondance · 6 months
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stu just came on scream suddenly i’m squeezing my legs together lord help
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plethodontidae · 1 year
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for some reason a 6’0 brazilian football player with a big nose wasn’t underneath my christmas tree this year. absolutely ridiculous
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wolfythewitch · 4 months
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My Watching Over Kids Hot Take a lot of kids just want someone to talk to them calmly without telling them what to feel. Or maybe they just want to talk and have someone listen
A kid at church today was sulking under a table blocked off by chairs that he couldn't get to play with this Optimus prime toy they had in a cabinet and when I asked him if he was willing to wait for it after the service or if maybe he had some toys at home he said he didn't and church was the only place he could play with one, and Optimus prime is his favorite character ever. I told him we couldn't let him play with it now, but if he was willing to wait until later when there were fewer kids he could take it for a spin. He was still sitting under the table but he wasn't frowning anymore. He told me about dinosaurs. His favorite is the allosaurus. He came out from under the table for a second just to mimic its roar. I said yooo that's sick my favorite is the pterodactyl. I mimed a screech (my dinosaur knowledge is very limited, alas). He crawled out from under the table and started clawing at the air, doing his best impression of a dinosaur. It was very cute. I think he likes dinosaurs almost as much as he likes Optimus prime. Then he ran off to play with the other kids
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kkoct-ik · 5 months
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absolutely insane i get to draw headscarves again
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sunderwight · 4 months
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Bingqiu roleswap where disciple Shen Yuan knows he's gay, and figures out that he has a big huge crush on his handsome Shizun, but also concludes nearly at once that he's not going to be drawing Luo Binghe's eye any time soon. Firstly, Luo Binghe is notoriously straight. Secondly, even if he weren't, he wouldn't go for his scrawny untalented nerd of a disciple! Shen Yuan's not bad looking, not before or after transmigrating, but he's neither a beautiful nor a hot manly man, and he assumes if Luo Binghe were into dudes he'd be into the same kinds of twunks that Shen Yuan likes. Guys on his own level, etc etc.
Plus Luo Binghe hated the original disciple Shen, and only started to warm up to the transmigrated version after Shen Yuan got injured in front of him trying to stop the other disciples on the peak from killing a small animal. For some reason, Luo Binghe brought Shen Yuan medicine. He got even nicer after Shen Yuan distracted the skinner demon by trying to convince it to take his skin instead of Luo Binghe's, and then again when Shen Yuan successfully fought off a demon invader -- though initially when Luo Binghe volunteered him for that job, he thought it was an assassination attempt. His heart was in his throat when Luo Binghe nearly took a poisoned blow for him, but luckily he reacted more quickly and got hit by the thorns instead. His heavenly demon blood took care of the poison, and he managed to convince everyone that he narrowly avoided getting cut at all.
Shen Yuan's careful not to read anything into it when Luo Binghe finds out about his, erm, uncomfortable dormitory situation and moves him into the side room, or when he completely messes up trying to make dinner and Luo Binghe takes over cooking and bans him from the kitchen (he swears he's not actually that bad at cooking, he just never had to use a kitchen without a microwave or an electric hot plate before...)
After all, it's not like Luo Binghe is cooking for him, he's just making food he likes and letting Shen Yuan eat it too! Because he's nice! He's way nicer than the book gave him credit for being, see, clearly Shen Yuan was correct in signing up for his defense squad, "top ten worst villains of all time" his ass that poll was nonsense...
Unfortunately, though, the plot's still gotta plot. Shen Yuan is heartbroken when the Immortal Alliance Conference rolls around and his shizun stabs him and throws him down into the Endless Abyss. Heartbroken, but not surprised. After all, it was always going to go this way, wasn't it?
But at least, now that it's done, he has some agency in how he reacts to it. He's changed the story enough that he doesn't need to go get revenge. Maybe Luo Binghe's still the villain of his story, maybe that was inevitable, but some heroes let the villains get away. Don't they? It's all part of that noble, breaking the cycle of abuse type stuff. He can be that kind of hero. He can let it go. As long as he avoids Luo Binghe altogether, it should be fine, right? It's not like he's obligated to turn people into human sticks. He asked the system, he's definitely not!
Technically he's not even required to conquer the demon realms. He just has to get out of the Abyss and the be sufficiently cool and/or tragic. Conquest is just one means of doing that, and not even Shen Yuan's preferred, since he doesn't exactly want to rule over anybody. Going around the demon realms beating up some jackasses and rescuing some damsels in distress and becoming sworn brothers with Shang Qinghua, one of the current demon kings, is suitable. He definitely doesn't want to marry any of the damsels he encounters (thank fuck the system lets him off the hook for that!)
But eventually he has to go back to the human world. Not only is it mandated by the system, but he also misses living there. The demonic realms are in many ways better than expected, plus a lot of the monsters are really cool, but he misses the weather and plants and the people he's more accustomed to being around.
He misses Qing Jing Peak, if he's being honest with himself. Shizun's cooking and the bamboo forest and the crisp mountain breezes, the comforts of home.
Not that he can actually go back there in specific. Of course not. If he did that, Luo Binghe would try to kill him, or else the system would try and make him kill Luo Binghe. Bad ideas all around. No, he can't go back to Qing Jing Peak, but he can go find someplace nicer than the demon realms at least. He just has to keep a low profile, which shouldn't be hard since the original goods did that even while actively scheming to kill his former master!
Except.
Everywhere he goes, suddenly Luo Binghe is also there?!
Good thing Shen Yuan thought to take a page out of the book of Luo Binghe's actual love interest, Liu Mingyan, and start wearing a veil. He just didn't want any randos who might have seen him at the Immortal Alliance Conference or on any of the other missions his shizun sent him on to recognize him. But one minute he's investigating a strange case in Jinlan City, and the next the streets are full of Huan Hua cultivators (Shen Yuan has no intention of joining them, that's the path the original took to getting revenge! He doesn't want revenge!), and then Luo Binghe and Sect Leader MBJ and Peak Lord SHL show up, and SY is ducking down alleys and hiding behind columns, just trying to stay out of the way until the lockdown on Jinlan lifts and he can leave.
Except...
Luo Binghe really isn't acting like himself?
He looks like he hasn't been eating or sleeping well. There are dark circles around his eyes, and something almost melancholy in his countenance. And he's dressed entirely in white, none of the usual Qing Jing greens and blues anywhere to be seen. Of even greater concern, he's being reckless. Shen Yuan can't stop himself from rushing out when he sees his former shizun get infected by a sower demon.
Luckily, it's been some years since the last time they saw one another. Shen Yuan's gained a few inches in height, so he's almost at eye-level with his old master now, and though he's still more slender than bulky he's picked up some totally new styles from training the demon realms. He doesn't move the same way he used to. With that, plus the veil, it's enough for him to quickly swallow back his words as he grabs Luo Binghe and quickly administers a cure for the sower infection.
Well, he has one of course. He wouldn't need it himself, heavenly demon blood and all, but his time running around playing hero in the demon realms meant he rescued a lot of humans from such fates. Which is hard to do if you don't have a cure to their afflictions, but between him and Shang Qinghua, sourcing such things was almost easy.
Luo Binghe looks at him like he's just seen a ghost. The other Cang Qiong sect members are alarmed by SY suddenly accosting one of their own and of course find him suspicious, so he runs away right after, and then he has to lose Sha Hualing's pursuit in the city.
But what else could he do? He manages to evade the system's attempts to railroad him into meeting Gongyi Xiao, avoids the rest of the Cang Qiong crowd, and drops some of the cure through the current Qian Cao peak lord's window to get the incident sorted out. Then he flees and puts a good amount of distance between himself, Jinlan City, and every righteous sect he can think of.
The only problem is that after this point, Luo Binghe is everywhere.
Any time Shen Yuan stays in one place for longer than a few days, Qing Jing disciples start turning up. Any time he takes a job hunting some cool-sounding monster or pursuing some interesting tome of knowledge, the better to satisfy the system, it seems like Luo Binghe has selected and gone after the exact same target! Which is especially annoying because back when SY was a disciple, Luo Binghe was always assigning him to do this stuff. Since when does his chronic homebody master have an interesting in six-tailed scorpion lemurs or ancient spiritual kilns?
What's weirder, though, are the rumors.
It seems like any time SY stops at some well-populated place and asks for the latest gossip, he has to hear about how the Qing Jing peak lord lost his beloved disciple during the Immortal Alliance Conference, and mourned like a widow, and now wanders the earth in search of solace for his grief. Seeking something, possibly even the ghost of his dear disciple.
What nonsense! Luo Binghe threw SY into the Abyss himself. He had to do it, it was the plot! And also his obligation as a righteous cultivator, confronted with a "dangerous" half-demon. Does it sting? Yes it stings! That's why SY wouldn't just forget it! Despite logically knowing it's pointless, is there some part of him that wishes his master would have chosen differently? That thinks he should have known that no matter what kind of power Shen Yuan had, he would never use it to hurt people recklessly, or harm innocents, or especially not harm... well. It's pointless, his blood condemned him, and if there is some part of Luo Binghe which regrets what happened, it's doubtless just that he unwittingly harbored a monster for so long.
Which is fine and Shen Yuan would leave it at that, if the guy would just let him!
But no. Instead he has to deal with Luo Binghe turning up and asking him questions, trying to get him to talk (SY has no hope of disguising his voice, if he says anything he's not even sure it won't crack as he comes perilously close to tears instead, so he just stays silent), and then asking for his name, asking if he's mute, asking about his background, his sect, his kin. Is his a righteous cultivator? Where did he get that sword? (NOT Xin Mo, thanks, he used that thing once and then tossed it back into the Abyss before the portal finished closing behind him -- he knows a poisoned chalice when he sees one, although knowing the plot twist about that sword from the novel sure helped.) Where did he learn those forms? Is he... does he have a safe place to go home to? Someone to tend his injuries? Make sure he eats his meals?
SY, of course, stays silent. But it's difficult. Not only because Luo Binghe asks, but because he still looks... bad. Sunken, sorrowful, desperate almost. Shen Yuan can't figure out if he knows or not. Maybe he's unsure, maybe he's looking for SY to give him a sign, so that he can figure him out and then flip a switch and try to finish the job he started.
That can't happen. If they fight, SY will win, and he doesn't want to hurt Luo Binghe.
But even if Luo Binghe's not a heavenly demon, he is a highly accomplished cultivator, and it seems he's got his own breaking points to reach. Eventually he corners SY and gets a hand on his veil, and for a moment SY is sure he's going to rip it off, see his face, and confront him all "I knew it was you, you twisted evil demon, you won't escape justice a second time" and he feels a deep, icy terror close around his lungs--
Luo Binghe lets go of the veil before he can lift it.
But then something even worse happens. Because Shen Yuan's handsome, peerless, noble master breaks down. He falls to his knees, begging forgiveness, sobbing, clutching at his head like he's being driven to madness.
It all spills out of him, then. How he pushed his own dearest disciple into the Abyss, which obviously SY already knew, but also how he was apparently qi-deviating the whole time, and his senses could not differentiate between one kind of demonic "threat" and another. How he realized what he'd done only after he regained his senses hours later, and rushed back to the place where the tear to the Abyss had opened, but could not find a way in after the one he lost. How he had betrayed and thrown away the only person who cared about him, and couldn't even explain that he hadn't intended to. How he would accept anything, any punishment, hatred, penance, or revenge, if only he could see his disciple's face once more.
SY is stunned.
Apparently, Luo Binghe hadn't rejected him for his demon blood?
Not only that, but beforehand, he seemed to have valued Shen Yuan a lot more than Shen Yuan would have credited.
Is it a trick? Is he lying? SY would have guessed so, would have assumed that Luo Binghe's plan was to lull him into complacency only to turn on him once he finally had confirmation. But somehow, he just... doesn't think this is an insincere display. His old master is too cool for this stuff! He has too much dignity to just throw it away on a scheme! There are other ways to get what he wants.
Even if it is a lie, Shen Yuan is tired of running. He's the hero. He won't actually lose, and if it comes to it, it's still in his hands to decide if he wants to spare Luo Binghe or not (he does, of course he does, even if this whole spiel is an act). Plus he's got a backup plant body in one of Shang Qinghua's greenhouses if all goes to shit.
He takes the veil off himself.
Luo Binghe, teary-eyed, stares at him as if his face is the most beautiful he's ever seen.
Shen Yuan nearly puts the veil back on. His cheeks heat up. Dear Shizun, aren't you an immortal master? A noble peak lord? Isn't it your calling to vanquish demons? Get up off the dirty ground right this minute! Where did your dignity go? Shen Yuan did not spend all those nights doing the laundry to watch his teacher dirty his knees for no good reason!
There's a quaver in Luo Binghe's voice as he points out that Shen Yuan was terrible at doing laundry. Luo Binghe had to redo it the day after, all the time.
Shen Yuan chides at him that he should have made one of the other disciples do it then.
Luo Binghe just laughs, and stays on the ground, until finally Shen Yuan has to physically pull him up. Muttering about how he's being ridiculous, what's he crying for, why's he been moping so much, doesn't he know that handsome face should never look so bereft? Then he realizes what he's saying and shuts his mouth, but Luo Binghe just looks happy for the first time in years. Since the Abyss. How is it possible that SY, who actually had to slog through that awful place, can still smile more than Luo Binghe, who didn't?
They're standing so close. Holding on to one another. Almost as if... as if the scene's tone is... well...
Oh what the hell!
Shen Yuan closes the last little bit of distance between them, and kisses Luo Binghe.
#svsss#scum villain's self saving system#bingqiu#long post#of course the plot probably interferes further then#turns out that while luo binghe was desperately trying to get sy back he accidentally woke up sy's father#who for this au let's say is sj instead of tlj#sj does NOT approve of this match and also hates all the righteous cultivators (and demons... and everyone mostly...)#but he is also busy trying to resurrect yqy or something#kidnaps sy like well I missed the chance to raise you and actually that's probably for the best but now I need your blood#for Reasons#luo binghe is not a fan of this turn of events#reverse holy mausoleum arc when SY is mostly unconscious except to sometimes throw out advice and LBH is dodging traps and villains#the pining-over-the-dead-shizun arc is probably AFTER the holy mausoleum and lbh self-destructs to rescue sy from sj's plans#sy refuses to accept this outcome he decided luo binghe was NOT to die he didn't need a redemption arc he was FINE sy DECIDED#but luckily they're in the holy mausoleum so sy grabs a resurrection artifact of some kind#has to spend a few years restoring and maintaining lbh's corpse before he can get the to actually work but it's fine#he's fine everything's fine he's GOING to get lbh back lbh is NOT ALLOWED TO DIE#luckily unhinged sy results in way less collateral damage than unhinged lbh#so mostly he just fights off mbj's attempts to honorably recover his shidi's body and offer him a proper burial#while camping out in the holy mausoleum and arguing with sj's detached body parts#y'know normal healthy behavior
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yyece · 17 days
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i need everyone to shut up and look at him!!!!!
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ricky-mortis · 2 months
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Richie doodles bc my two current WIPs are actively trying to murder me dead.
Feat. my trans + hard of hearing HCs
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merakiui · 8 months
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dilf Azul taking his kids to disney and you're a character actor for ariel/prince eric/ursula, and obviously the kids favorite. and the kids are so cute of course you give them the best autograph, trade pins etc! and azul is over the moon about it, tries to figure out how to see you off duty to get to know the REAL you!
OMG YES AAAAAA that’s so cute. 🥺 his kids are so excited to get their pictures taken with you, to get autographs, to trade pins. They watch you with such amazement in their eyes the entire time you interact with them, flawlessly acting like the character you’re portraying. They even tug Azul in for the picture, and he feels so awkward standing near you because you’ve taken his breath away and he can’t stop staring at you. You’re all he can think about as the day wears on. His kids keep talking about how nice Ariel/Ursula/Prince Eric was and he’s inclined to agree. Of course he knows you’re just playing a character, but that doesn’t make him any less intrigued. He wants to know everything about the you beneath the costume and the makeup.
And if you happen to run into each other just as you’re getting off of your shift… Well, maybe it’s fate. Maybe the universe is telling him to chase after love once more. And maybe this time it’ll be a permanent match. :)
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valleydoli · 1 month
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GUYS LOOK AT MY MAN HOLY FUCK THEY REANIMATED THIS SCENE IN THE BLU RAY IM SO FUCKING AHHHHH
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tittyinfinity · 5 months
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I just remembered that up until 5th grade, all of the sports teams I was in weren't separated by gender. I played basketball and baseball with boys. And we did just fine.
It wasn't until 6th grade when they segregated it by gender. It didn't make sense to me. I was now in softball because of baseball, because "softball is for girls" and "baseball is for boys" (which confused me bc my dad was on an adult softball team).
Now, my brother's all-male team didn't win a single game. My all-girls team won every single one.
They presented the boys' team with this HUGE trophy, and if you wanted replicas of it, they were $30 each.
My team was presented with a very small trophy. Extras were $5.
That's when I decided gender-segregated sports were bullshit.
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0stargirl0 · 2 months
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Taking him to my penthouse and freaking it
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roxanneslosteyes · 1 month
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I need this man on my doorstep now.
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He is so fine for what? 😭
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thesiriusmoon · 8 months
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Shoutout to Hugh Dancy for being the prettiest man ever, love you baby girl xx
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