#hes a pretentious loser and we love him for it

[my-name-is-apollo]

OKAY so I read "The Caesars" by emperor Julian and y'all, if you love Lucian's satires this is absolutely for you.

Here are some of my favorite parts from it:

A quick summary: Romulus (who has now attained the status of a god, like Heracles) once hosted a Saturnalia and invited the Greek gods and the Roman emperors to the banquet. A contest between the Roman emperors ensued, with Alexander the Great called in as an extra contestant upon Heracles' request.

Silenus is the star of the show, doing most of the jesting. But I really like the way his bond with Dionysus is highlighted

And it's no joke, he really does roast these emperors till they're sizzling lol starting with Julius Caesar himself:

Next comes Augustus Octavius, whose entry is so pretentious and pompous that it becomes repulsive

Apollo gets a bit defensive over his "nursling" (a nod to the belief that Octavius was actually Apollo's son) and goes *insert Barbie meme "it's really not that bad! it just needs a little... shaping. To the salon!!"* ft Zenon the Philosopher who casts some spells of philosophy to make Octavius less obnoxious

And it works because Octavius is mostly humble and well mannered for the rest of the day lol

Heracles grabs this opportunity to fanboy over Alexander the great.

Like, "my beloved Alexander"?? It's cute when the gods gush over their mortal descendants.

Now, a shoutout to the emperors who didn't even get a chance to sit in the assembly because they were the worst of the lot apparently. We have:

Caligula, so terrible that the gods didn't wanna even look at him and he straight away was sent to Tartarus

Nero, who tried to be an Apollo wannabe and promptly got taken to the underworld

Commodus, whom Silenus didn't even bother to roast (and he tripped and fell anyway, what a loser)

There are more but these were the funniest

Anyway, the gods decide on how to choose the best amongst the Emperors. Apollo and Hermes have differing opinions on this, but Zeus decides to entertain the suggestions of both of his sons :3 (finally, one instance where he treats Apollo and Hermes equally)

All the emperors talk about their achievements first, then Hermes cross examines them to see if their motives were worthy enough and oh boy, it does not go well for Alexander who is brought to the verge of tears by Dionysus lmaooo

Anyway, in the end the gods vote and Emperor Marcus Aurelius wins the contest. But after that, Zeus asks each emperor to choose a god to spend the rest of their evening with

Ares and Aphrodite kind of just adopt Caesar LOL and yes, Cronus is present, sitting beside Zeus, with Rhea and Hera also sitting with them. He is the one who nominates Marcus Aurelius.

but here's the most crack part of this whole thing:

Like who invited Jesus bro skdjsndn 😭

Anyway, the story ends with Hermes giving some generic advice to the author, Emperor Julian and ending the story. Also, Julian lets us know that this whole story was told to him by none other than Hermes himself, and gives a disclaimer that he doesn't know if it's is true or just a lie fabricated by Hermes, or a mixture of both LMAO

Here's the link PLEASE READ THE ENTIRE THING

#Kronos #Zeus #Dionysus #Silenus #Apollo #Hermes #some jokes and roasts I did not understand because I am really not well versed with these emperors #and the many atrocities they've committed #but this made me more interested in digging into the Roman empire than anything else #Like Heliogabalus? #Absolute madlad #I should have known about him sooner #Anyway #Even if you just like seeing Greek gods hang out and have a nice family chat #You will really enjoy this #Emperor Julian #The Caesars

[i-hate-gravel]

my thoughts about Osvald Octopath Traveler 2, the guy of all time

his entire character is the most tragic and hysterical thing to me. what if there was a guy so autistic about math and magic he equations his way into harnessing the fundamental forces of the universe or whatever. also he's a dilf and loves his family.

oh yeah also his story starts with him MUZZLED and FALSELY IMPRISONED for the murder of his own wife and child. the first thing you do with this epitome of academia is MUG AND ROB A MAN, and its one of his MAIN MECHANICS as a characters

if you start the story with Throné the way i did you find him passed out in the bushes after he escapes by making a friend and then having that friend immediately SACRIFICE HIMSELF for him.

he only drinks black coffee and is pretentious about it canonically

SPOILER SHIT BELOW

i feel like the horrors he endures are so insanely next level compared to the average party member? like they have their problems (Hikari fights a full out war???) but there is a certain depth and horror embedded in "hey Osvald I framed you for the murder of your wife and child and got you sent to prison for it so I could steal your life's work and respected position as a professor. Also your daughter's still alive but I've brainwashed her to believe that I'm her father instead of you. Also your wife? Yeah I took her FUCKING SOUL AND PUT INTO THIS GOLEM THAT IVE COMMANDED TO KILL YOU. toodles i'm off to sacrifice your daughter to achieve forbidden power." that cannot be matched.

like i genuinely had to stop playing for a while and just put my switch down in complete shock as I realized what was happening. the writing in octopath 2 wasn't always great with all of the stories but oh my god when it hit it fucking HIT

he wears a rope as a belt, which at a certain point in his journey is something he could definitely fix, but i believe chooses not to

maybe he can't see it when he looks down because of his massive fucking naturals metal collar and chain. which he also chooses to keep on.

i utterly detest the stereotype of 'autistic and good at math/comparable things but struggles with emotions' that burdens so many characters esp because he has a full. wife and child and i would also hit that but like there's no way he was as emotionally closed off before the events of the story as he is when we encounter him so i choose to believe his regression in emotion maturity to how he considers the world and people around him is purely a trauma response and survival tactic in prison, hence how it is through meeting the party and traveling with them that he unravels his defenses and relearns how crucial love is to True Magic and he does it all for his family oh my god

what a nerd ass loser i love him

#osvald v. vanstein #osvald #ot2 #ot2 spoilers #octopath traveler 2 #octopath traveler ii spoilers #octopath

[russian-spider]

I rewatched Richie and Tiff's scene from "fishes" today (the one they have in Donna's bedroom), after binging the show recently, and I realized I had overlooked something, because there was so much going on and it was exhausting. Something about Carmy. Richie and Tiff talk about him, how he made sprite for her, but instead of praising him, they just keep saying he's weird and why would you try to get him to date Claire when she's so nice. And even though I wish Richie had said something good about Carmy, I don't hold it against him because that's what their relationship was like then and we know how much he loves him. But I feel like, from the start, I had been taking Richie's side, in a way, because he was so funny and interesting to watch, he was this loser looking for a purpose and I could not not root for him. I was rooting for Carmy too, but when we met him he's already a big time chef, he's made it in the world, we know he's talented and successful and too good for the Beef. He's this man who Richie has known since forever that's younger than him but has achieved so much more and is now his boss, how can Richie not feel shitty about it? So, I watched the show hoping Richie would earn Carmy's respect, get some self-esteem back. But I think I got it wrong. I think he already had Carmy's respect, but Carmy didn't had his.

I believe that, when you grow up around someone, no matter how many years pass, you will always be who you were to them, and no matter how much you change, you will always regress a little when you're with them, back to that old dynamic. The Carmy we met is not the one Richie knows. His Carmy is shy and bad with people, lonely and artsy and different. He's Mikey's baby brother, always following him around and trying to get his attention. Always on the defensive, because they do give him a hard time (assholes). He's young, he's short, he's… weird (as if they're all so normal!) And Carmy's Richie is not this middle aged divorced man with nowhere to go. He's someone that became part of his family because Mikey of all people loved him so much. He was his best friend, his right hand man at the restaurant, always part of his stories. I believe when Carmy said "I always thought my brother was my best friend, except everybody thought he was their best friend" he was thinking of Richie specifically. How could he not be hurt by that? Richie had what Carmy wanted, and he could have simply hated him, but he saw his good qualities, the ones he was lacking ("he believes in you, he said you're good with people") He never rejected Richie the way he did Pete, for example. And it's different but it's the same because Pete's an outsider who became part of the family through (Natalie's) love, but they don't like him (which I think it's super unfair btw).

And what I didn't realize at first was that Carmy was also looking for Richie's approval, not just Mikey's. That's why when Richie judges him and calls him Donna in the finale it hurts him so much, not because how dares this loser lecture him, but because his opinion matters. He screams about how Richie is nothing without him and how much Richie needs him as a defense mechanism, because he's so afraid of not being needed by the people he loves and he needs Richie too (of course it makes him furious when Richie says it). Even in the first episode he's like "how fucking dope is that, cousin?" like did you see what I did? did you see how I brought all these clients to the restaurant? He insults him, but he listens to him, asks for his help, cares what he thinks. Meanwhile Richie scofs at Carmy's achievements, partly because they make him feel less than, and partly because this is Carmy, so how impressive can this really be? Just some pretentious shit he learned from people as pretentious and weird as him. Until "forks". Until he finds purpose in a place where Carmy is so respected that there's a picture of him framed. And later Richie tells him "I get it" and I thought 'how nice he finally understands what Carmy is trying to do and how they want the same thing now' but it's so much more than that. He finally gets the importance of what Carmy has done, how difficult it was, how amazing he is. For the first time he saw Carmy from the outside, not like the kid he knew but like we the audience see him, and understood. Maybe that helped with his self-esteem also, because having Carmy as his boss doesn't mean he's a loser, it means he works with the best.

Anyway, I hope at some point we get to see Richie defending Carmy when he hears someone talk shit about him, or just talk proudly about him to someone, maybe even to Tiff, to show his growth.

And I know Richie said "you're all I've got" and Carmy said nothing back and I felt so bad for Richie, but Carmy's just not used to that, he doesn't know how to react, because that is -was- not how they talk to each other. But he's trying so hard to not be shitty and to be there for the others while his mind is screaming at him that he's a failure and needs to give up joy if he wants to feel like he has value, because his self worth is so tied to his job that he'd choose it over love... Idk I think it's very important not only that Richie loves him, but that he values and respects him, because these are two very different things and Carmy isn't used to getting that from him. Mikey never told Carmy "good job" like he wanted so badly to hear, but Richie could.

#the bear #richie jerimovich #carmy berzatto #the bear fx #i'm going crazy thinking how all along richie had carmy's respect and carmy had richie's love #but carmy failed to show his love to richie and to open up emotionally and richie failed ro respect him until the last part of the season

[silviakundera]

Joy of Life livelogging episode 5

This is my first watch, so don't tell me secrets ;)

I really like our protagonist, he's interesting. Assassin bro kneels to him with the quintessential, blah blah do this thing for me and my life and soul will be yours and ML says no. no. and also no!

ML just wants truths.

Assassin bro's story is super sad and so effective in that way that cdramas can do - people being crushed by systems, ordinary people being selfish in a human way without being evil, the inability to obtain justice for all the wrongs u suffer, that resentment that nestles in the heart

So his family is missing & he can only trust ML... which pays off because ML wants to help him because of his lingering decency. He doesn't want a wuxia slave, he wants to do the decent thing, because that's the type of person he wants to be.

the great cdramas and danmei write "good isn't weak" characters in just the way I like. not sanctimonious, pretentious, and hypocritical, just very centered & fiercely determined.

🍗 drumstick girl keeps coughing blood, if this was western tv I'd presume she'd be dead within weeks

tuberculosis doesn't exist in wuxia 😆

How tragic that ML and his love interest are both dumbasses

Still enjoying loser little brother

So the emperor is using ML to stir up the players and get them to reveal their agendas & alliances

lmaooooooo his Dreams of Red Chamber fanfic is spreading across the capital

This thing where ML and 🍗 coincidentally don't meet and will break up the engagement they both want is gonna get on my actual nerves. I'm already moving past bemused to annoyed. It's just too much of a manufactured obstacle.

Loser brother actually finding his brains & life passion when it comes to commerce

Our first look at A VILLAIN: Guo Baokun, Assassin bro's full time nemesis. part-time anti

villain steps on Dream of Red Chamber. our transmographied ML: 😬😱😤

the brothers fighting on the same side!!!!!! I love them together.

This prince of Jin son.. Li HongCheng. The emperor's nephew? Is this "2nd prince" who's vying for the throne or just another prince? idk but everyone is going to a poetry gathering

Mysterious guy with bangs whose face we can't see is interested in ML and his book

ML agreed to do a bookstore to please his lil bro, what a softie

About to do some espionage. hope u don't create a disaster!

#joy of life #silvia watches #cdrama #silvia watches jol

[veespee]

We need some whisperedfaith stuff in here, I've looked and found nothing. So maybe some headcanons for Sean or Lee like with a partner or just general?

of course!! my fav is Sean, so I'll write some for him :)

Sean/Shiny Headcanons

-He's actually like,,, a MASSIVE loser lmao. He tries to appear like this sadistic, cold, and manipulative cult leader, but in reality he's just a really desperate junkie. Which in a sense, he is a junkie; he's addicted to the Speaker. Like Lee said in the 'Interrogation' video, he has been listening to the Speaker's whispering in his ear for so damn long, he's addicted to it. Now, i'm not sure what the Speaker could be saying, since from Lee's experience, it was torturous, but for Sean i think it would be the opposite. So i guess the headcanon is: the Speaker feeds Sean's ego, showering him with complimentd about how good of a leader he is, or how strong he is, or anything that would appeal to him, and that's how he keeps Sean under his control.

And that makes sense, because it's the Speaker, it's an honour to even be spoken to by him, and he's getting all these compliments? He must be doing something right, he must be special.

-Also, here's just my theory/HC on why Sean of all the members got to be the cult leader: i think that Sean was the easiest to influence. I believe that as a person, he was always a bit egotistical. That might be because of childhood, or him having to harden up for some reason, (i'm too tired to make a whole theory about his childhood sorry 😭) but i think even before the cult he would act very guarded. Like he would have walls up every second as to not get hurt.

So when he learned about the The Family, he thought, 'maybe that's where i belong'. And his goal from the start would have been to be the leader, to be worshipped and loved. So he came in that cult with determination, he was hard and would do anything the higher ups told him, even hurting people if needed. So The Speaker noticed him, and he thought, 'that's my target'. His ego is easy to feed, and therefore, easy to manipulate. So The Speaker fed him with compliments, making him believe he was the chosen one.

-I actually think Sean's story is really damn sad, but also he kinda deserved it. The man left all of his family and friends, wanting to feel loved and worshiped by someone. With the delusions added on by the other cultists, he was completely blind. Although, of course, nothing is black and white, and i'm sure he knew what he was doing. He was aware he was hurting people, people that trusted him, but he didn't care, and was blinded by greed and hunger for praise. Which in hindsight, made him hated by his followers. He was rude, pretentious, and arrogant. He believed he was the Chosen, the One, the man who would create portals between worlds, and The Speaker's favourite.

But in the end, that was all in vain. Because when he was gone, he was replaced. Lexx took over, and clearly she was more loved than him. So he grew bitter, and angry, even after death. Even in 'Limbo', he was bitter and lonely. I guess that was his fate from the start.

alright sorry for the rambling :) this was actually very fun to write, although ik this post won't get much traction due to how unpopular WF is,,, but it was fun anyway. thank you for the request!🖤

#slenderverse #slenderverse headcanons #headcanons #analysis #whisperedfaith #wf #sean whispered faith #sean wf #lee whispered faith #lee wf #slenderman #the rake #the speaker #the family

[clownholemcfannywhistle]

Hot take, but I really can't stand Elliott from Stardew Valley. HEAR ME OUT

He is so pretentious

Literally belongs on r/iamverysmart

Like who are you trying to impress with your vocabulary words, you silly, silly man

Controversial opinion but his chin... Just isn't that great imo lol

I played the yandere Elliott mod and that also ruined him for me haha

But the fact that him being a yandere is so believable is worse

He has rizz, but a very specific type of rizz that doesn't vibe with me

Like I totally get why some people would want a well-groomed pirate vampire poet gentleman to run them a hot bath and sensually massage shampoo into their hair, write them love poems, and make sweet love to them, but that's not for me

Give me Shane or Sebastian, a couple of depressed-ass losers I can relate to and probably wouldn't scold me for being too sad to shower for a couple days at a time

Okay but honestly the main reason I don't like Elliott is because he really reminds me of this dude I went to elementary school with who was my best friend for a while, but then he developed an obnoxious and creepy crush on me and wouldn't take no for an answer

Like I know I was only friends with him from the ages of like 10-13, but goddamn this boy was down bad in the weirdest ways

He acted out to impress me, wrote badly-written love notes, bought me stuff, and literally asked me to a school dance, linked his arm with mine, and said the actual words, "Shall we?"

Also after I finally yelled at this kid, he tried to collect my hair, supposedly because he was going to make a clone of me that liked him back

...okay fine, the real reason I don't like Elliott is because of a weird childhood experience, you got me

#stardew valley #sdv #stardew valley Elliott #elliott sdv

[jennyandvastraflint]

Xena Reactions S3Ep3

We start with a dude dramatically running away from war... EW. ARES. He just keeps getting uglier

Damn strong armour. Is the armour possessing the guy?

MEDAL OF HEPHESTEUS!?

Cheerful start really

Damn they wanna hurt some guy. Was that Gabby

YEEES XENA AND GABRIELLE

Gosh Xena and Gabrielle are so gorgeous

Is she gathering criminals for a mission XD

OHHH GORGEOUS.

"I am no lady" either way gender.

Xena introducing them

"Just men?" 😂 Gabrielle asking the good questions

Going up against Ares... Blergh. Ares can go choke on his own ego.

Oof, village laid waste

The armour looks so stupid honestly...

Rude!???

Love how Xena's SWORD broke but not Gabrielle's staff 😂

Oh fuck the pretty one was hit

Oh. METAL! Not medal... Yes that makes more sense (auditory processing issues hu)

Blacksmithing fancam

Hate that pretentious guy

CALLISTO SHOUTOUTTT <3

"Wow, nice ceps!" He is GAY. He is so down to suck Ares's dick...

BOOMERANG (Sokka is foaming at the mouth in jealousy)

"Cos I'm gonna kill her" no you won't. Shut up and suck Ares's dick you war simp

Gabrielle commanding them as she should.

Boo for them ignoring her.

"Murderers guarding murderers"

"Were they murderers before they met you?" OUCH

THEY WERE LIKE ME

AAAAAAH

"Am I really who I am, or am I what you made me?"

They're playing their funny guessing game again

Jesus can these murderers CHILL

Gabrielle looking, then going NOOOPE

Please these idiots are still standing there

Ahaha they're guarding each other cos none trusts the other to not kill them

RISE AND SHINEEE

"But what are you here for?"

SO VALID. STAB THAT GUY DEAD.

"You know what men are like" lesbian

Ahaha he just fell asleep

"But you're going to buy them"

Yuck, I wouldn't wanna be stuck with that guy either

"I think I've never been part of a true disaster before" "Cynic"

URGH the sexist prick can go die in a ditch

Ew what kinda straight sex shit is this

"Men are so easy" shdhshd

Gosh he's annoying.. Why r all the men in this annoying

NOOOO HE WANTED TO HURT GABRIELLE

And he grabbed Xena...

DID SHE KILL HIM-

Oop

"That's gotta be uncomfortable" 😂

GABRIELLE MY BABYGIRL

"Is this a private get together or can anyone join in?" Oh she knooows

She's happy they're working together

AHAHA She sensed Ares

Why is Ares' beard so fucking UGLYYYY. Like it literally got worse

Ares you snitch. Why are you telling her. Bro as if THAT isn't also interfering?? 😂

Uhhhh... Whomst?

Damn they throw bombs

Gabrielle ur so amazing

Xena I love you sm

Damn. She's defyyying gravity

Mmmmm, dudebro sexist is sus af

Urgh... They tricked her...

GABBY

YUCK. DISGUSTING. I hope she gets to murder him

I love Gabby

HOLY SHIT. HER SHOVING THE OTHER WOMAN AGAINST THE WALL (Gabrielle 🤝 Jenny)

Glaphyra?

Yeah true but y'know, a bit too many men for my liking, and a whole bunch of others stand around doing nothing about it

They really just want money, hu

Is he gonna free them

Ayoooo double double crossing

Ahsdhsh she used the Doctor strategy. Get captured cos breaking out the cell is easier than breaking into the whole thing

EW. ASSAULT. DISGUSTING. Someone give her a wife

"Hey that's not how a princess fights" gosh get some perspective, man

"Amazon Princess" YOU TELL HIM

OH FUCK. GABRIELLE IS JUST SEEING XENA MURDER WITHOUT RESTRAINT

Something something the old Xena showing for a moment

"Why does everyone wanna kill me?" Honestly it's very understandable

"I'm not leaving!" "Like she said"

Ares is like lmao bye have fun dying, loser

All the steaaaam, brilliant. Gotta be pretty hot in there

YEESH That gotta hurt

Kabooooom

"Look after Xena, okay?" awwwww

"I'd sooner fall for a toad" valid

THEY'RE SO GAAAY

"You're Gabrielle" AAAAAH ❤️

"Question is who would I be without you?"

Ahaha them bickering

Ok so as a whole the episode was very, very meh. I liked the Xena/Gabrielle moments tho

#v watches xena #xwp #xena warrior princess #xena and gabrielle #xena

[sugarsnappeases]

hi!! i see your thoughts on bartylily and i am eating them uppp. but i ask any thoughts on regubartylily? do we think they could work out?

hi hi darling!!!

i'm intrigued by this bc ofc i love bartylily, and i love bartylus and i'm occasionally partial to a bit of regulily as well but i don't think i've ever actually thought of them as a trio before….. am pondering it now tho and i feel like i could kinda get behind it??

bc in my mind regulus is the poshest, most pretentious person to ever walk the earth, he’s whipping out the most absurdly formal vocabulary at all times so it sounds like he’s gone and looked up synonyms in a thesaurus w every single word, he’s literally wearing a custom silk suit to bed and rising in the morning like a vampire from a coffin and there’s not a single crease in the fabric, and then he’s being confronted w barty and lily who’re just. they’re just sooooo

i think regulus, my fave repressed loser weirdo, would be just slightly fucking terrified by the two of them, especially if they’re together to start w which for some reason is the way i’m viewing them rn. like bartylily being this insane, incredibly intense couple who commit a lot of recreational arson and never miss a chance to cause a scene and regulus, who would rather die than be perceived while in public but also desperately craves the kinda all-consuming attention that the two of them have for each other, is just So overwhelmed by them

like reg hasn't expressed a single emotion in at least a decade, he's the embodiment of unflappability but in quite possibly the worst way ever, he hasn't had a day off since the dawn of time, he hasn't let himself relax since even before that, he doesn't have a single friend in the world and he's convinced himself he doesn't need them bc he's on his mindset grindset (my poor sad baby is debilitatingly lonely actually) but then somehow he's coming face to face w lily evans and bartemius crouch jr.

lily evans who's highly competent and driven but also messy and outspoken and often rude, who thinks that everything should happen exactly as she wants it to and if it doesn't then she'll make it, who's a force of nature and who has probably killed a man and who is inexplicably in love with barty. barty who's as sharp as a fucking knife and as dangerous as one too, who's wrapping himself up in so many layers of irony that it's impossible to tell what he really means at any given time, who has had a criminal record since the ripe old age of six and who took one look at lily and threw himself down at her feet. and the two of them are angry at the world and taking what they want from it without asking and overly obsessed with each other to the point that it’s uncomfortable to watch but reg can’t seem to look away

maybe this is just typical to me in all of barty's relationships bc in my mind (my mind which has been obsessing over barty/michelangelo parallels for the last month lol) he’s just brimming with undying devotion, he’s putting his entire self into a relationship in this almost masochistic, de-subjectivising translation of the self into the body of the object of his desire or whatever, and lily to me has that sort of intensity as well, kinda selfish in the sense that she's taking and taking and he's giving himself up entirely but it's okay bc she's doing the same for him so in the end they're balanced in that they've both entirely relinquished themselves to each other and merged into one ridiculously feverish entity, they're constantly together, they're a fucking tornado sweeping into regulus' life and uprooting everything that he had so carefully laid into place

and like, in the aftermath of this complete kinda excavation, they're lounging around and getting high together and reg’s having epiphanies like ‘is this relaxation?’ (picture that meme w the butterfly) and he's like. expressing his desires for the first time in his entire life, he doing things bc he wants to do them and not bc someone told him to or bc he thinks he should. and he's swept up in the tornado and just as obsessive and intense and devoted to the two of them as they are to him and he's flourishing like a pot plant being put in the sun and watered, his little sickly victorian child complexion actually gets some colour to it bc he's blushing all the time at the things they're saying to him

and anyway in conclusion, i think i can get behind any bartylily + someone else ship as long as everyone involved worships the ground that lily evans walks on and is also slightly scared of her. but also yes regubartylily has my stamp of approval, we do indeed think they could work out <333

#asks <3 #regubartylily #also sorry this took a while i was Thinking and also sorry this got. kinda long #literally ask me things at your own risk i’m liable to ramble #but also tysm for asking me i LOVE getting asks everyone please ask me all the questions ever <333 #have we settled on the name regubartylily btw?? bc i feel like maybe i prefer #bartylilylus

[seffien]

how i think the promo kids feel about each other because i can: the post.

veronika (ronnie)

on annie: we were...something in elementary. don't know what her deal is now

on yarr: cool dude. can clean the hell out of a weapon and is a good tableturf opponent

on steph: friends til the end. i help her, she helps me. i've only known her for a few months, but it feels like i've known her forever

cal: suuuper good cook and pretty skilled at chargers. i gave him the nickname cal and he really seems to like it.

on kay:

on hiro: he was the first person i met when i got to the splatlands. ever since then, we've had a pretty strong bond.

on tako: ...are you okay?

anenomeno1 (annie)

on ronnie: i will destroy you every chance i get and i hate you.

on yarr: you’re a nerd and a loser. also your glasses are stupid mine are better.

on steph: meh. (condescending)

on cal: you’re such a baby. i cant believe hiro put you as 2nd in charge. it should be me! IT SHOULD BE M

on kay: you’re so pretentious and i hate you. i hope your favorite thing gets as rating on some random rating site so you have to stop liking it.

on hiro: i just know youre a loser who pretends not to be. i know it. i know it. i could beat you up. (could not)

on tako: you get me. we’re best friends for life and forever. …maybe something even more?

yarrwhal (yarr)

on ronnie: i don’t know why she’s a casual player. she could totally rock the field with a just a jammed up splattershot.

on annie: …you can’t even see in those, dude.

on steph: 🤝

on cal: how is he so good at chargers? shouldn’t he be, like, in school? he’s like 12.

on kay: do not touch me do not look at me i don’t want to be associated with you sorry

on hiro: turf master to turf master—you’re cool. we should play in a tourney together.

on tako: the enemy of my enemy is my friend…? actually no that doesn’t sound right.

stephanie (steph)

on ronnie: yo!!!! it’s always so nice to see you! friends til the end.

on annie: you should get help. (well-intentioned)

on yarr: 🤝

on cal: you should cook for me us more often. please? please.

on kay: annoying.

on hiro: we could kill so many people together.

on tako: why do you keep staring at me?

c4l4m4r (cal)

on ronnie: i appreciate the compliment, but i’m really not good at either. luck, i guess?

on annie: hiro told me not to talk to you. sorry :(

on yarr: do you really think i'm that good? :0 you're way better!

on steph: ehehe i'm glad you like my cooking! i'll make sure to always make seconds for you! :]

on kay: (indifferent.)

on hiro: i'll do my best!

on tako: i am NOT a BABY!! :(

kayoss (kay)

on ronnie: oh, of course, the skilled spunky tomboy teenage girl who thinks she's 'just average'. sigh. boooring.

on annie: lol you'll like or dislike anything tako likes or dislikes, you shouldn't be speaking.

on yarr: ugh. i wasn't planning on getting near you anyway. you're stupid and i'm worried your stupidity will infect me

on steph: don't worry, i think you're annoying too

on cal: you're nothing but a baby. don't try and step to me.

on hiro: stop trying to be me. also ronnie will never love you back kthankbye <3

on tako: ugh. you again. get a life, girl

hirooooo (hiro)

on ronnie: hey girl are you. are you a girl because. are you you because. because i love you. i dont think im doing this right

on annie: no you could not beat me up and no i'm not putting you in charge.

on yarr: i agree. we'd make a good team. as long as i get to play with veronika...

on steph: true.

on cal: you're a natural leader! i know you'll go far in life, so don't ever think you won't

on kay: dude if i was you i would **** ******

on tako: what...happened to you?

takotruck (tako)

on ronnie: filthy casual not worth my time. you could never be me or compare to me, so stop trying 💖

on annie: you get me. it's kind of us against the world atp.

on yarr: don't speak to me. i do not respect you.

on steph: hey do you like girls. don't ask me why i'm asking.

on cal: you're a baby LMAOOOOOOO idk why hiro put you in charge

on kay: kys before i come to your house and do it for you.

on hiro: don't look at me. don't touch me. don't speak to me. i hate you and everything you and your little girlfriend stand for. i should kill you with my bare hands you fuc

#splatoon #splatoon 3 #promo kids

[fuck-you-im-the-president]

Dear sleaze,

Even if you do manage to pass that “law” hundred are going to absolutely destroy you so I hope you fail on that

And, too late!!! I’ve already started the rough draft of the new newsletter!! Trust me when I say this is gonna get passes around from school to school and absolutely destroy your rep lol!!!! Maybe you shouldn’t have acted suspicious with prez wil back then during the elections.

We all saw how you acted, gay ass.

Thankfully, I’m not afraid of your empty threats of you saying you’re gonna execute me and blah blah blah, btw thanks for helping me with this!! I had an assignment to send shit to someone important and while I think you aren’t that important I am thankful that you’re basically giving me an A!

With much love xoxo (don’t take that to heart, groomer),

-⭐️

Dear pretentious whore,

literally don't care. I have security for a reason :/

WHAT. I DIDN'T ACT SUSPICIOUS WHAT DO YOU MEEEAN.

IM NOT A FAG I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

hope you fail your classes and your loser theatre kid bestie helps you with your assignments but he also gets most of the questions wrong but not because he doesn't know the answer but because you were a bitch to him :/

Kayyyyy whyyyyyyy esssssss, President S. Underscore

#dsmp jschlatt #dsmp schlatt #rp blog #roleplay #manburg #dsmp wilbur #wilbur soot #wilbur dream smp #teenbur #lmanbur #⭐ anon

[justwinginoverthings]

Coming to this discussion 10 years after the fact but having rewatched MTV's Awkward. and reading/watching posts, tweets and video comments from way back to 2015 I find it so interesting that the general feeling was that Jenna didn't deserve Matty.

Like 10 years later we have shows like Never Have I Ever showing you not only that the popular boy/loser girl becoming a couple will innevitably NOT FIX the girl's insecurities but also in that show Devi doesn't make it one episode without having the epiphany that it's not worth it to be Paxton's secret fling. Contrasts that with Jenna lasting a whole entire season AND THEN she continues to keep it secret after break up for Matty's sake and his friendship with Jake.

And everyone understandibly criticizes Jenna for kissing another guy while dating Matty, but also, he was not as ideal. S4 explictly brings up the fact that he treated her as a booty call throughout S1. S2 has him trying to sabotage her relationship (and he never apologizes for Eva's behavior and his blindness to it ruining Jenna's pretty perfect relationship with Luke!)

Back to the subject of her insecurities, when she began to find herself in S3 he (her boyfriend!) called her new friends/interests pretentious or boring (pretty sure he does it AGAIN in S5). Its interesting to me that her S2 fantasy of "what-ifs" included Matty not allowing Sadie to bully her, and that she feels absolutely devastated from him saying he was embarassed of her in S1. S4 also shows that he always goes to her for emotional support, has jealousy for her seeing other people, but at the same time gets pissed if she intervenes too much in his life and is ready to cheat on his girl to kiss Jenna because he thinks the rules don't apply to them.

Even the S5 college clusterfuck is meh in terms of making her worse. The actors may be pushing 30 or whatever by at that stage Jenna is 19 and in her first ever internship after only one year of "finding herself as a freshman in college". Of course she won't know that a piece of her writing about her HS boyfriend will be twisted by editorial intervention for more clicks! And as Matty admits, HE was the inmature one in their college break-up , and very much an asshole about it. How was she to know he was devastatingly depressed over their break-up when he shouted he didn't want her love and that if she was against him transfering to her school then he would just walk out??

This is in no way hate to Matty. He's one of the dreamiest leading men I have ever seen in a teen drama. He is a good friend and great boyfriend most of the time ("making you happy makes me happy", seriously? SWOON), and boy do I love his honest yearning to be Jenna's hero.

I don't think they're toxic to the limit tbh. They're good friends to each other and never necessarily act in attempt to hurt or manipulate each other, they just really loved each other and had a real hard time letting go. Their will they won't they was messy enough to be interesting (most of the time anyways, even if S4-S5 weren't as good) without being the most toxic of that era of teen shows (seriously? Glee, Gossip Girl, 90210, etc had way worse Core Ships).

As Sadie points out, it's clear Matty remains obssessed with her (and selflessly encourages her to choose herself in the series finale and that's definetly growth on his character!) and Jenna overthinks shit a lot and is awkward but its obvious she struggles to know wether she should act as his friend or to act as a respectful ex and messes up because she's young and loves him. Like overall I think the idea that they became intimate friends was sold well enough to compensate their messiest momments.

#mtv awkward #awkward #awkward. #jenna x matty #matty x jenna #jenna hamilton #matty mckibben #jatty

[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

Um I want planning on it but...

Mike Wheeler's Guide to Falling in Love with a Superhero - live reaction

Dvjhdazfhhygvb literally such Micheal behavior

Wait he knows Max irl in this? Is he in the same friend group? Is he seriously the only human in his friend group? Lmao.

Also Nancy working for Daily Bugle is a nice touch

Wait Dustin isn't super. Zoomer, Ranger, Eleven, Spiderman, yup Dustin's human too.

What even is Micheal's job?

Why does every Mike characterization include him thinking "objectively"? Ajsjbxhcjdnd canon.

Better be a paper straw, bud

"This is a robbery" um okay *continues doing homework and drinking coffee* my dude she is a r m e d

I can't- Will living his sassy dreams, calling villains friendless I bet

So Doc Ock is the same person who was talking about her son who loves heroes, right?

Wait is this even Doc Ock? Is there more than one villain with a lab coat?

Wait are Dusty and Micheal just. Sitting there? ansnchdbehfjfxbj icon behavior lmao

Why do all Mike characterizations involve fantasies of violence? Canon.

"Um sorry I want a less embarrassing death" shut up you pretentious fuck literally accurate

Wait it's a café on the seventh floor? Jesus Christy maybe care a little more about your um life than "He dropped me on the sidewalk no big" wgat

Wait the cage isn't where he works? Why did he call his boss a baker then?? Full me in I'm stupid :/

Literally stunning

No, keep talking. I want to know if Dusty was literally about to say "so gay".

Mike:

We love a pathetic Micheal. Stg he's such a damsel in distress. On the one hand of you constantly almost die maybe you should hit the gym on the other hand I love nothing more than just a useless main character.

"No more room for (dignity) in his noodly body" silly little phrases>>>

We spent two seconds in proximity and you haven't paid an attention to me. Hope i die.

HE LITERALLY IS ansbchebhfufbbfjc PERFECT

No that is literally the most Richie sorry ever I'm DYING

The melodrama of it all

I love how you can tell the writer's personality. Yes, describe the little outfits that civilians wear. I want to know <2

If Will calls him "Cool Guy" as Will I will DIE

"Cool" "cool" maybe stab me

"I love sci-fi" you are sci-fi.

How does his neck not break

Micheal's face rn:

How very cringefail of you, Micheal

You've seen Jonathan exploding Mike in his mind, get ready for:

Totally normla

TROY (also slay, El)

Heart eyes

His book is literally Stranger Things <2

He's not like the other girls I'M DEAD

And i like talking with you, stalker

I went most of a chapter thinking this draft got lost :/

Martin like Martin Brenner? (<- quotes to get urself publicly executed)

So Mike said he knows Max, but I don't think he knows the others besides Dustin. That makes sense bc Max prob wouldn't introduce her friends to her super friends, right?

This is kinda different from canon bc in canon they're friends for a decade and their friendship is super important, but in this version, we can focus on what I really care about- Mike being a fucking loser (affectionate)

I really like the little details like the book Mike writes being ST- and wonton b2 alongside b1 bc there was a ✨️plan✨️ all along. WAIT IS HIS SELF INSERT NAMED MIKHAIL-

It's okay I'm normla now.

My dude stop flirting you are on the clock holy shit as far as Micheal knows you're a stranger jesus christy

Did I mention how fucking funny the ladies' man comment was?

Micheal and me are both just dramatic little shits. Yes I will explode, actually.

Okay but what even

No comment

Najzbxbchhdhbdbxh hdbdjxdyxhdb💖💖💖💖💖

I FUCKING KNEW IT! C O O L G U Y !!!!!

Ookay

The fact I can hear all of this in their voices qjabxbxbhxhxhdhbc (did I mention they're dorks?)

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE ISN'T A GARUNTEE MOM I'M SCARED

Students when Spiderman goes in and out of this one apartment window alot:

Them when he starts coming out of a *different* apartment:

HE DID THE THING HE DID THE THING

YES SLAY

This post by @smoosnoom, this fic

#literally flawless #mike wheelers guide to falling in love with a superhero #spidey will and mj wheeler #byler

[noco7]

nocovember prompt 2

they’re in an arcade, and i changed my writing style in an ode to “A Concert for Twenty Fingers” a noco fic I read early into my noco obsession

It’s the 27th of June, 2009, and I’m in a lousy arcade, everything neon, loud, and overwhelming. "This one's for you babe," Cody repeats for the millionth time. There's a mini basketball in his hand, obnoxious red sunglasses perched on his head, and an unearned grin on his face.

Maybe I’d be appreciative if he hadn’t missed every shot he's taken.

I snort. "Unless your aim has magically gotten better, doubt it.”

Cody shoots. The basketball bounces off the rim and thuds against the cracked plastic base of the machine, rolling back down pathetically - like it too knows how futile it is. Cody scoops it back up. 

"Okay, maybe not that one. But this *next* one's for you babe," Cody promises again. 

I just let my arched eyebrows answer for me, and lean against the machine. You might be wondering why I’m here, and that’s a good question. I don’t like arcades. Which might seem odd, given my well-documented love for video games. But there’s a huge difference between playing a challenging game in the comfort of my own home with a fascinating and complex story, and spending a few miserable minutes playing one cheap tacky game after another, surrounded by chattering children and their screaming parents. So no thank you. The actual answer to the question is that my boyfriend dragged me here, and since I had chosen the last date location - a respectable library filled with soft lights and even softer sounds, it was now Cody’s turn. And of course, he would choose something as juvenile as an arcade. The only blessing was, and not to be unbearably cheesy, that Cody was here with me. It was entertaining to see him fail every game he tried, in a sort of America’s Funniest Home videos way. But even Cody’s slapstick humor had its limits. I’d gotten bored after his first five throws. Hopefully, this whole ordeal would end soon, and we could go back to better things, like making out. Hey, just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I’m not a teenage boy! But instead of doing anything fun like that, I was left tapping my foot, a spectator to failure. If I had been the one throwing the balls, it would have ended after the first missed throw. I don’t have much tolerance for my own failure. Which sounds a little perfectionist, but I’m far from being Courtney. I just know when to stop. Cody doesn’t. Yet, paradoxically, seeing my boyfriend fail almost made me want to try. It was probably the lack of real competition, I decided. Jocks, with their lean-and-mean dispositions and their unattainable strength, had always left me a little intimidated. But Cody, sweet pathetic, Cody was reassuring in his mediocrity.  No matter what the red SUPREME logo on his shirt says, there was practically nothing supreme about him. And that was comforting. Perhaps we could try this game again, and I might actually win something non-academic for the first time in my life.

Another miss, another thud. Cody’s grin falters, only to return as quick as it left. It’s good to know that my boyfriend isn’t completely oblivious to his own failure, but I can’t help but feel a little mournful. This is probably how it felt to see Icarus’s wings melt. He shoots again, and the kids walking past us laugh. I’m filled with the growing dread that I have gotten with a *loser*, and worse that people can tell. It’s not that I’m one of those pretentious twinks who set their sights high on the most alpha of men, and for all his flaws, Cody satisfied me well enough in that department - *but*, and this was a big one, it was something different when other people commented on it. I might be satisfied dating a wannabe, but it was another to have people *think* that it was the best I could do. And I know, I know, that when it came to worries, this was one of the most shallow, that I should be grateful to have a guy into me in the first place, let alone a cute one. Still, I stepped away from the machine, distancing myself. Another promise, the words faltering this time. Another miss. It’s as if Cody wasn’t aiming for the machine at all, but my heart. For a moment I consider if this is some pity play level of manipulation, and just as quickly I discard the thought. Cody isn’t the type. There are only a few seconds left. At this point, I’m not quite sure if Cody actually believes he can achieve something, or is just falling victim to the sunken-cost fallacy. The line between dumb optimism and stubborn determination is a bit blurry when it comes to my boyfriend.

Cody rubs the next basketball into his jacket, caressing it like a good-luck charm. As if that’s going to do anything.

I can’t bear to look. "I DID IT!"

I have only a millisecond to take it in, to recognize that satisfying swish sound for what it is, to realize that Cody has indeed ‘did it’, and then I’m being grabbed by Cody’s hands, my sides squeezed, enveloped in the warmth of success.

The sudden rush of happiness takes me off guard.

"Put me down!"

Cody beams at me, and I’m compelled to smile back. It’s hard not to give in to instincts, when, and forgive me dear readers once again for being corny, my boyfriend smiles with the force of the sun. Eventually, he puts me down though I could have used more time in the air.

"Congratulations,” I say. “You landed one shot and now you think you're LeBron. Should we get out the gatorade for you? Really celebrate the-" I look past him and at the scoreboard. "Three points you got? The top score is 54 by the way." I know I’m being mean, but I can’t help it. I can’t stay long in the garden of Eden, no matter how much I try.

Thankfully, Cody is used to it. "Yeah yeah,” he says, still high on glory. “Scoff all you want, but I still got the points. And *you* didn't."

"Because I wasn't trying." I point out.

"Miss every shot you don't take," Cody says, wagging a finger. "It's my personal motto."

I scoffed. "With your history, I think you could stand to take a little less shots." Gwen is a stunning example.

Cody frowns, but he doesn't say anything and for once, I choose not to elaborate. We’ve argued about Gwen too many times already, and it gets personal fast. Besides, we’re surrounded by people. If we argued about it here, we’d look like one of those couples, one month and already on the brink of divorce, so full of hatred that it seeps out of the private and into the public. I don’t want to be one of those people.

"You know," Cody says finally. "As your champion-"

"As my champion?" I echo. Champion? It was one shot.

"As your champion," Cody repeats, and that’s his stubbornness coming through as always, - "I think I should get a kiss." He waggles his eyebrows. "You know, as a reward."

"We're. In. Public." I say, gesturing at the space around us. It couldn't be clearer. Even if Cody was blind, which he wasn’t, it'd be hard to miss the demented chatter of children and their high-pitched screeches of laughter. I had to wonder if parents had stopped teaching their kids manners. The newer generation was truly lost.

"Riight," Cody says, and then he grabbed my wrist, steering me behind a nearby machine, and oh. It's darker here, where the neon lights can't reach, and it’s like the world has slipped away.

Cody's blue eyes meet mine. It’s hard for them not to, not in a space like this where there’s nothing else to look at, and there’s hardly any room between us.  "No one can see us here," he says, voice low, before his eyes dip even lower.

I feel like a virgin. I’m not, for your information. I’ve kissed guys and girls alike, and I’ve even kissed Cody a few times too, and yet butterflies still flap their wings in my stomach. It’s the taboo delight of doing something you shouldn’t, and I’m human enough to recognize it. 

"Okay," I said, my voice coming out more breathy than I liked. I darted forward to kiss my boyfriend, who rises up to meet me. Did I mention that he’s still shorter than me? Because I should. My boyfriend is a manlet, or as he prefers to call it, a ‘short-king’. But he proves his worth, his hands moving instantly to pull me close, clutching me tight as if I were planning to escape. But I’m not, and I don’t want to, not when his lips are pressing against mine, not when his hands are warm and roaming my body. My champion, indeed, I think.

Still. We’re in the middle of an arcade, so I break away before it can get too steamy. Cody pouts - like always, but I’m not going to give in. Unlike some people, I don't want to get charged with public indecency.

"When you think about it, I got three points,” Cody says, already leaning back in.  “So I should get three kisses, total. Just makes sense."

I give him my best unimpressed stare.

"It makes mathematical sense," he protests, flinging his arms out in dramatic flair, only to bang his hand on the back of the machine.  “Ow!” I snort. "And now you're going to say that you're injured, and I should kiss it better?"

Cody pauses. "I mean you said it, not me."

“The lighting must have gotten you confused Cody.” I roll my eyes. “This is an arcade, not a nightclub. We're here to play games, not play with each other."

Now it's his turn to laugh. "I mean you weren't playing much of anything back there. Come to think of it, you don't play most games at all. I mean remember the dodgeball?" "Be quiet." I hiss. Not the dodgeball episode. Not that stupid episode.

"Make me," Cody smirks. "With your mouth, preferably."

My boyfriend is a menace. Strike out dumb optimism, it was now sheer gall.

"I mean, you said I had no aim," he continues. "But I did get two girls out. And Harold didn't hit anyone with the ball, and he still-"

I kiss him just to shut him up, and I can feel Cody's smile against my mouth. Bastard.

"Keep talking,” I say, “and I'll never kiss you again."

"Yes sir!" Cody salutes.

Have to maintain order somehow.

"Can’t help trying to kiss my boyfriend whenever I get the chance. “ He smiles, showing off the gap between his teeth. “Sorry." Despite the cocky nature of the words, his look is a little too earnest for it to be some joke.

The sincerity makes me stumble over my own words. "I - I guess. Whatever." I avert my gaze, making sure he can’t see my cheeks, just in case they look less like normal human skin, and more like ripe tomatoes.  As if Cody needed any more proof that I liked him. And that made me doubly glad for the privacy of our dusty little nook - *no one* could tell. I didn’t need people thinking I was some blushing anime boy, or a tsundere, or anything else saccharine and banal that fangirls liked. As if! When I looked back up, I was met with Cody’s smile. "Whore,” I blurt out.

Cody chokes in laughter.

"Let's get back to playing those games," I state. Maintain order. I brush my hair out of my face and head back into the rest of the arcade. "Can't wait to spend fifty dollars in tokens to get three stickers and a temp tattoo of a mouse."

#td noco #can't believe it all fit into one tumblr post #i'll also post it on ao3 #just to bump up the noco fic count #lmao

[altocat]

The bagpipes of Cait Sith made me think of this…

If our lovely group of problematic firsts (that includes Zack and Cloud!) had to listen to music while working out/training/relaxing/etc, what would their favorite types of music be?

(…we all know Zack just vibes with whatever background music is in his head at the time…)

Angeal is totally a fan of 80's power ballads. Or the FF equivalent. He doesn't care how cheesy they are. HEAVY bro energy during gym time. DO YOU EVEN LIFT BRUH.

Genesis likes to pretend to be Mr. Fancy acquired taste with his music in order to impress his admirers and coworkers. "Oh yes, I listen to on the FINEST nontraditional underground sensations YOU wouldn't have ever heard of them." In reality, he's the biggest basic bitch and sings to pop music in the shower. Either that, or showtunes.

Sephiroth listens mostly to classical. But things change after Angeal and Genesis left. He finds it harder to concentrate and tries to switch to self-help audiobooks and podcasts. Which equally backfires because he's not feeling any better. Then, by pure happenstance, he comes across screamo death metal music and while he pretends to despise it, it helps him feel EXTREMELY validated and cathartic unleashing all his negative emotions and anger when no one else can see.

Zack doesn't know it but he and Genesis probably have the most in common in terms of musical tastes. They are both avid connoisseurs of basic pop. Zack also likes boy bands thanks to Aerith introducing him to it. And you know what? He's not even ashamed. He also enjoys basic hard rock and would also like the FF equivalent of Disney music, if it existed.

Cadet!Cloud is the only true "deep, poetic soul" among these losers. He likes Indie rock. Not so much edgy or pretentious stuff but more of the weighty sadboi stuff. YES, Cloud has cried in the shower multiple times listening to mopey guitars thinking about how he's too weak for Tifa (and Sephiroth!) to ever notice.

#sephiroth #angeal hewley #crisis core #ff7 #ffvii #asks #final fantasy 7 #genesis rhapsodos #sephcanons #loling #zack fair #gencanons #honorcanons #zackcanons #cloud strife #cloudcanons #this is fun

[kaibacorpintern]

5 6 and 18?

5. What’s the easiest thing to write for you?

Inner monologues and descriptions! When all I have to do is make room for the character to feel whatever they're feeling and think whatever they're thinking, I feel like a racehorse and I'm just charging down the track.

6. What’s the hardest thing to write for you?

Original fiction just kidding, I'll get there. Romantic comedy is an incredibly daunting genre to me. It can't just be jokes, it has to be jokes AND sizzling chemistry AND sexual tension AND little twists and traps here and there to complicate the characters' relationships. I can happily write horror and science fiction and action/adventure and other things, but romantic comedy seems so complex! Easy to fuck up! I've only ever posted one intentionally romantic/comedic piece and I had a great time but to do that for 30,000 words... insanity.

18. What is one theme/storyline/idea you wish to write but never have?

Speaking of romantic comedies I have this pet idea for a kaiba x jou "lovers to exes to best friends" modern AU... [this got long so it's under a cut]

they date for six months and they break up because the wells of their patience run completely dry. but hot on the heels of their breakup, they're both like "i'm going to get this stupid bastard laid... by someone ELSE" and they end up match-making for their ex. They are going to find that special SOMEONE PERFECT. because. in this story, maybe THEY aren't right for each other, but by god, do they want to see this dumb pathetic loser find real love and happiness. the lousy bastard deserves it.

so jou is like "what kind of person would i willingly inflict seto on?" and kaiba is like "who would find this annoying chewed-up shoe attractive?" but the thing is, in order to make a happy match, they successfully have to sell the prospective partner (atem for kaiba, anzu for jou) on That Dumb Asshole that they've been complaining about for months:

Jou: he does not hug. like ever. a total frozen fish Kaiba: he NEVER stops talking. he could power a small country with his goddamn motor mouth Jou: insanely pretentious. Like we get it!! you read Nietzsche in German!! Kaiba: he thinks wrestling is a sophisticated cultural activity on par with opera Anzu, who is kaiba's personal trainer: so WHY should i go on a date with your ex?! Atem, who is Jou's high school best friend: so what makes him good for ME? Jou: okay... fine........ he's a go-getter with the work ethic of a train and he really loves his baby brother 🙄 if high standards and intense self-reflection are really sexy to you or whatever 🙄🙄 Kaiba: ugh he has an easy and charismatic manner and he has a great laugh 🙄🙄 if you're into guys who have to make everything feel ""fun"" 🙄🙄 Anzu: is he hot? Kaiba: unfortunately. Atem: is he attractive? Jou: i don't want to think about it.

bonus scene:

atem, on the first date: so i heard you don't really like to have.... "fun" kaiba: WINNING is fun. atem, twirling a finger in his hair: wow. you're so right <3

anyway it's not supposed to be like "hoho kaiba and jou Will Never Work," because shipping is fake and for fun; it's the lovers to bitchy exes to best friends AU. accepting romantic incompatibility but also valuing them as a person and rooting sincerely for their happiness. whoever sends the wedding invite first wins!!

i have a lot of fun thinking about this one but in order to make it work, i might as well make it original fiction, because i'd have to reconfigure all of the dynamics of yuugi's friend group, somehow, and when it comes to yugioh fanfic, i like to write YUGIOH, you know? i want magic and dragons and outrageous science fantasy.

#intern memo #writing notes #prideshipping #devotionshipping #/ #//

[starlightrows]

Welcome back to Krax (re)Watches. Tonight I’m watching the first episode of The Bad Batch and giving my unfiltered thoughts. I don’t remember shit from watching this the first time

Episode 1 — Aftermath

I forgot about the red clone wars logo!!!

Grey temples Obi Wan appearance, 😌

Baby Kanan!!!! Caleb!!!!

That was a fun entrance

Wrecker being able to push a 1000 pound tank is wildly impressive

The droid saying “I guess I’m in charge now” and then immediately getting shot is such a mood

Sledding

Green armor is a great look

Tech not even looking up from his computer… rude ass iPad kid

Master Bilabba… my beloved

Having to relive Order 66 again… ouchie

This snowy forest is honestly really pretty

Crosshair shooting first has cop vibes, nasty

Can you imagine? Caleb just fuckin ices Crosshair? Show would have such a different vibe

Hunter instantly lying about Caleb jumping to his death has major dad vibes

Crosshair you nosy ass bitch

Master Shaak Ti 😭

Messy ass men’s dorm room

Crosshair is like an annoying coworker. Passive aggressive. Low key a narc.

LULA!

“And MY exceptional mind” pretentious

“You are more machine than man, percentagewise” ableist

How has no one ever seen Omega before?

The clones cheering for the emporer’s speech has such an uncomfortable thing to watch

Oh-Me-Gah.

She sounds Australian

Hunter dad squats down to talk to her

Tarkin has nazi pants

Can you imagine being a fuckin 10 year old and going to hang out with a bunch of 20 something year old soldiers

SOUP clone

Crosshair thinks he’s too good for a food fight… loser

Echo’s PTSD makes me sad

“Turned into that” referring to Echo’s prosthetics… why do people like this guy?

Fucking hell I just realized the first episode is over and hour long…

“For which you will be fairly compensated” — viewing the clones as merchandise is disgusting

Tube Babies!!!

5 is all that remain… Echo is a regular clone… she’s talking about Omega

Crosshair filed a report stating Kanan lived. Snitch.

I fully forgot about Saw being in this

Tech believe propaganda

If you love the emperor so much, why don’t ya marry him Crosshair

Tech just casually stating Omega’s an enhanced clone

Crosshair litters

I really love the idea that troopers have little family pictures

The Corrie guard got sent back to Kamino and immediately started acting like top dog

Body glove scene

Omega creating sympathy for Crosshair makes sense in a narrative way, I guess… but I just do not like him.

Tarkin is crusty as fuck

Why did they let Tech keep his nerd goggles?

Still undecided on if Wrecker has a false eye or a white eye?

Lol they’re running around in their undies

My desire for a Lula plushie has been renewed

Take a shot every time Crosshair says the word “orders” take two every time someone else says it

Finish your drink every time Crosshair litters by spitting his toothpicks

I forgot how little resolution we get about the Kaminoans intentions

I remember watching this the first time and being a big Wrecker girl, and I still am sort of, but honestly none of them really do it for me anymore 😅 I’ve spent too long thirsting after Boba and Wolffe

Final Notes:

Unwhitewash The Bad Batch, others have more and better things to say on this topic but it must be stated if I’m going to make a post about this show at all.

I forgot literally everything about this show, and part of the reason why is because I didn’t like it that much 😅

Still gonna watch the rest and season 2 though

#The Bad Batch #Krax Watches #unwhitewashtbb