#hhhh im so fucking tired of this shit

[pansyfemme]

the truth is im not sure if any other towns with ivy leagues in them tend to have the hatred and resentment for the school that ppl from new haven often have for yale. id love to just sit down and chat with someone from another ivy league town bc like. is it just the combo of a school full of very rich prep school kids in one of the poorest areas in the state where our public schools literally does not have the funding or curriculum for a lot of students to qualify for the college in their own fucking town or is this a wider issue in other places

#a childhood friend of mine just started at yale and im happy for her #but it makes me want to scream bc her mom works at yale she’s from new haven and there is literally a program here that is supposed to #give severly reduced or free tuition to new haven residents but apperantly they stopped doing that shit in her lifetime #so she has to pay full price and theyre making her live on campus despite living pretty much on campus already #hhhh im so fucking tired of this shit #her mom sent my mom this letter they got about how they should be careful about their kids being in new haven because its so dangerous and #scary and theres homeless people here oh my god!! there was literally a skull and crossbones on it #im so tired of this culture of yaleies being like ‘we want to reduce the distance between yale students and new haven residents!!’ but we’re #not the fucking problem. im thrilled about how much money yale brings in. we get an ikea and nice resteraunts bc of it #and nice museums and theatres and shit #but still our school system is on the list of the poorest in the country #my mom’s school literally cannot afford a school nurse or a counceler #i feel like maybe if yale wants to bridge the gap they should make it possible for people from this city to attend there #like. maybe they could start a program where kids from new haven could get reduced yale tuition? wait they already did that and they fucking #got rid of it for no reason

[dockaspbrak]

Bekfjfkfnfhf

#man im so tired. #my planner is just chock a block with shit to do and people keep. asking what im doing and going oh god thats a lot #like. i feel like last time i took 12 credits everyone was saying theyre taking 16 #but i take 16 and an internship and everyones really piling on what i already know is a lot #fuck. im tired all the time and sad and #you know when youre overwhelmed and a coma sounds nice? #hhhh plus i think like pmdd is acting up bc im so .... emotional. cringe. i wish i didnt have my stupid advanced pms bullshit #i wish i could yakno...... go into a cabin and not come out #i always think of a like from one of those famous poet ladies on here #where she says sometimes i will be distant and cold and you will not be able to reach me #i dont even remember her name ugh god #i also think i didnt cancel my met opera thing #😰☠️ #at least i could watch the queen of spaced while i do shit but. also. probably not bc id probably need to pay attention #but ......... i really will only b there for dmitri ? #but no ill get sucked into the plot #i love tragedies like that. hubris and greed drive you to tragedy #nrjfnfofnfn it just is so lonely but i just have to wait it out #object permance issues really suck. i should mark this on my planner so i can quantify predictions for how long this will last #hehfjfjfjf #also like i met w a girl last night and she was so extroverted. i was hopeful she might want to be friends but #wow did i ever feel incompetent socially #i just. could hear the boring shit i said. and like. I REMEMBER I USED TO HE FUNNY #i just am worse at masking now i guess #out of practice. and this bullshit emotional trouble from my horrible malfunctioning brain #ugh sorry if you read this thanks though dubfjfn #personal

[graceful-not]

Turnabout Big Top is unanimously the worst case in the entire series, but you know what REALLY pisses me off about it?

IT COULD HAVE BEEN GOOD.

Like- GOSH, it's just. IT HAD SO MUCH GODDAMN POTENTIAL AND THEY RUINED IT!!! I WANT TO RIP MY HAIR OUT LISTEN;

- Flamboyant famous slightly haughty magician that's secretly Southern Farm Boy? I LIKE THIS. IM MAD THEY DIDNT DO MORE WITH THIS, THIS WAS A GOOD CHARACTER QUIRK!! his stage name being Max Galactica and his actual name being Billy Bob Johns?? NOT THAT BAD!!

- Ventriloquist man who's personality is almost opposite of what his puppet's is, and who Interacts directly with it? I GENUINELY ENJOYED THE BEN-TRILO SCENES! THE DYNAMIC WAS FUN!! (also Ben being unable to function without his puppet what is going on with this man) HE WAS AN INTERESTING CHARACTER!!

- Acro?? Acro. Like. up to this point in the ace attorney series we haven't had a culprit like him, someone who did what they did and SUPREMELY regrets it and understands that it was horrible etc etc and doesn't try to defend their crimes whatsoever because they KNOW it was a horrible thing to do; I THINK ACRO IS INTERESTING!!

- HINTS OF MILES AND WHAT HAPPENED?? PHEONIX+FRANZISKA GRIEF?? tired asf gumshoe?? (we don't talk about his "dead body, stage left" line enough)

BUT THEN THEY TURNED AROUND AND

- The stupid fucking love triangle good god this is the worst part I'm going to vomit Regina is 16 AND IT. EUGHHH. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THE WRITERS FOR THIS, SERIOUSLY, THEY HAD THESE INTERESTING CHARACTERS AND INSTEAD OF EXPANDING ON THEM they made them fucking predators I just. god.

- REGINA IS A FUCKING CHILD, WHO HAS NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE OUTSIDE WORLD, AND THE NARRATIVE IS TRYING TO FRAME ACRO KILLING HER AS.. SYMPATHETIC?????? (Imo I think it makes Acro's grief more fascinating, and exploring his mental state is super interesting, but I know a lot of people have qualms with this, which I understand. Like. WTF Acro???)

- the stupid goddamn solution to the case good lord it was so dumb. so.. so fucking CONSEQUENTIAL. like. GOD.

TLDR; I hate Big Top because it could have been a genuinely interesting case, but it was ruined for such SMALL reasons that really had no positive????? like. getting rid of the bad stuff and replacing them w/ other things (Max and Ben could still have a rivalry ffs especially considering how vindictive Trilo is) and like??? HHHH. sorry I just hate how dirty this case was done there's so much good shit but the bad shit is just so... bad..

#ace attorney #turnabout big top #benjamin woodman #max galactica #regina berry #trilo quist #ken dingling #still cant believe rhats his name #grace gvoices gthings (nothing starts with g and i wanted alliteration)

[waluijoe]

real funny to see how pple act w me when i say like this is my limit im gonna stop there i cant do more than this and theyre like oh boohoo youre tired ?? you wanna go home and sleep, you old man, etc etc. when like ive already said my shit abt being depressed, about fleeing my flat so i wldnt live alone for a few months, abt how i dont feel like a human being so i need to see psychiatrists, abt how i cant take too many pple in my surroundings at once, all that shit thats very clear and precise. but its like all the pple who knew me from Before i got this bad just cant align their idea of me then to the reality of me now. its like an antithesis, like they can just joke it away and expect me to be damn like youre so right i should be full of fun and life and joy rn lets do this ! i totally love myself and interacting with an audience and being a person now that youve shamed me for showing weaknesses and boundaries ! wooh fucking ooh !

and i see the difference with how they answer to Other pple telling them like oh no i dont work cause im too dysfunctional so im gonna go see a doctor, and theyre like oh okay im sorry i understand i hope you find a solution etc. but w me i get the its all in your head you coward, you could do sm more than this, you should be just like me (functional). man. its fkcing annoying.

yes i can pretend for a while, yes its true i dont air out my laundry every time i talk to pple cause i dont see The Point i dontfeel comfortable telling everyone the absolute shit thats in my head and body all the damn time for them to be like oh Okay so now that you spill every single detail i finally trust you when you say youre not fine. no ?? fuck off w that. i dont owe pple the sickness voyeurism for them to respect me idk. its so fkcing annoying. its like the theory is fine as long as you dont have the symptoms cause really thats kinda annoying to deal with for real. well i deal w it for real. and i dont even force anyone to deal with it deeply, not even 10% of what i deal with, so miss me w the shit. hhhh

[three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat]

OK ok. many things 2 say. i just woke up and read ur answer so bare w me i have a lot

first of all. yeah people really fuck with malons character and the tropes they stick to her are boring at best and misogynistic at worst and it makes me Very Upset. shes one of my favs and shes actually rlly interesting if u squint (im abt to make 2 posts abt that lol) but noooo shes Time's Wife and The Boys Mother and nothing more . when it comes to Time L/U its weird bc it takes the heroes shade into account (which is fine! it is canon!) but imo the heroes shade completely fucked her character to shit and disregarded her entire story of oot and mm and. hhhh. i dont like that version of her becoming the Main Interpetation. please stop making her a brooding asshole please consider her as shes written pleaaaase 🙏🙏

i dont blame u for finding oot and mm dull. theyre long and old and not quite story-heavy as sksw and botw but im just insane about its themes and characters so if u ever have questions i can prolly answer them (and itd make me super happy lmao 🕺💃)

i didnt even know the shortened names were a completely fanon thing what !! hell world ig aaaagh

and OK THANK YOU!!!! there is a MASSIVE difference between tired and sleepy and he is TIRED if anything !!!!!!!! the entire game is about how devoted link is to saving zelda that it caused the reincarnation cycle OF COURSE HE WOULD BE TIRED. OF COURSE HE WOULD SACRIFICE SLEEP FOR THE SAKE OF HER. OF COURSE!!!!!!!!! i will say that there is this interesting thing w sksw in that, like... you start out being told link is someone who is very carefree and almost lackadaisical. he lives with his head in the clouds and takes things at his own pace and he likes to stop and smell the roses and whatnot (see: everything zelda says at the beginning of the game abt him not practicing and not rlly taking it seriously and etc etc etc). hes too late to see her at the forest temple and impa tells him he was too late to SAVE her and THEN we get that iconic "am i late?" "no. youre right on time." scene, and then it ends w ghirahim saying hes "far too quick" at the end of the game. what im getting at is that hes trying so, so hard throughout the game to be the hero zelda needs, and he gets better and better and better (albeit at his own expense). i DO think the impa scene was the major turning point and fucked up his view of himself ("why would i need to take care of myself when she still needs to be saved?") but point is. he is trying so hard. yes hed be tired and itd almost certainly be self imposed but sleepy? LAZY??? did you play the game past the opening .

you and me have the same brain abt sksw link i think. no more sleepy soft sweetheart link i want sksw link with a good heart who is still ultimately so sooo tired and weary bc he is putting everything he is into saving his friend but who also wont pass up the opportunity to fuck with people or wreck shit if he wants to.

ok sorry for the long messages. Why am i not following you what hang on

Dang :/ you really can't have anything in this place, huh? (Also I'd love to hear what you have to say on the hero's shade (even if its just in the context of lu), because I do quite like him (although the version that exists in my head is admittedly a bit-- different))

It's not that I don't want to watch it its just that I know after about three hours I'll be giving up (yeah I can replay a game I've already finished three times for six straight hours but GOD FORBID I try to watch a new show or listen to a podcast :/)

Yeah the names are shortened. yall could've been creative at least? It feels like it reduces them down even further, if that makes sense

YES he's getting faster and faster but at what cost!! Buddy you're going to make yourself sick!!! Take a break once in a while!!! (I say while actively writing several fics in which he Does Not Take A Fucking Break)

At this point sksw link simply has no shits left to give. Like yeah he'll help people but. Wouldn't it just be so much easier to give this love letter away as toilet paper? And also like I know it's just restrictions on how many words they can get in the boxes. But he seems like a pretty blunt guy. I think someone who's a quote unquote "soft sweetheart" would at least be willing to use more than three words at a time (and he wouldn't walk closer to better hear a private conversation, cough, pipit and his mom, cough, and then lie about it)

#the main thing that interests me in ss isnt like. the characters and such. but rather the lore and the fuckery of the timeline. #so im not as qualified to speak on it as i would like :/ #also im just bad at grasping stuff thats not laid out directly in front of my face #mb and strawberryrosewood scream about hats

[wabblebees]

.

#ok while i think the resurgence of kungpowpenis is usually pretty damn funny + i love it in theory #its also been popularizing/spreading a lot of fucked shit that i dont WANT to see the main post for. #like i was already having a bad brain moment so. seeing transphobic bullshit ((especially in this case targeting nonbinary people like me)) #was. Really Fucking Not what i needed! #idk. it just. im so fucking tired. ive blocked tags ive blocked blogs ive unfollowed and done shit to ~curate my experience~ etcetcetc #but i still wanna explore and poke around and find new interesting things and learn new povs and like! add enrichment to my enclosure! yk? #idk. ig this is just me complaining again #people are shitty and i get that! ive known that! im just. really fucking tired of the reminder ig #theres been. so many of those lately #''lately'' i say. as though its still semi-new... idk. hhhh. #i miss my people. not just bc they Arent Shitty but bc they help me put into perspective that people in general arent all shitty and are #often!! good!! and kind and loving and fun and and and #and i need that reminder... much more often than i like letting on #id like a bubble to hide in for a little while #one big enough to fit all of us in #and one that would keep us all safe #bc. fuck. #for now ill settle for just. keeping the brainrot at bay #holding onto the whole ''these feelings arent peer-reviewed'' ''its long after 9pm'' thing and its helping some! but sleep would probably #be more helpful but uh. also dont trust thAt at the moment lmao so. i think imma switch from doomscrolling + brainrot-posting to #playing stardew valley + listening to different music until im so tired i at least Probably wont have dreams lmao #bee speaks

[gatual]

.

#ik we're all a little fucked up but #does everyone in this house have to be like thAt??? if its not one its the other.. #things were p heavy today and now the atmosphere is so tenseeee hhhhh i hate it #im like the cheese of a sandwich cause theyre mad at each other and i wonT take sides so i just have to be understanding with bothof em/ #avoid getting im the middle of the fight the only one im actively defending is the dog😤 #but guys......ur old cmon is that hard to be rational and think a little..justttt a little #cause for ex i have my own problems and shit but i deal w it myself (altho im not saying this is the right thing to do or the way u should #handle it but assuming your problems are normality and a personality trait ig and throwing that shit on everyone is def not the way.... #cause like oh...then mm im impulsive and irrational and i cant control my anger so i when i get mad i give u psychological damage but sorry #i canf help it!!!!!!😐 bitch no thats not the way #im a bit tired of these two bipolar btches that in one moment treat u like an angek and the next one youre the worst shit d*e.. #..to not mention the third bitch thats not here #i can only trust mark he doesnt hurt me #also its like..leaving is bad but also staying is bad hhhh :/ #i was avoiding migraines but crying gives u migraine anyway so yeah🙂good #if i didn't want to go to the fam trip now.......💀 #jhbb i needed to rant i feel so bad when this happens but cant talk w anyone yey so screaming into the void should help #dl

[mercuric]

.

#ok so tumblr is where i come to rant now i guess??? #im so fucking tired and lonely and depressed holy shit #the individual(s?? you will never know) in question will probably never read this #but oh my god everything hurts so much every day is so hard i don't know what to do #there's so many things i have to get done that i didn't think id have to do alone and it hurts so much now #everything hurts in case i didn't already mention that #i am in agony #there's something everywhere which reminds me of them and ughhh fuck fuck fuck #everything hurts #i cry literally whenever nobody is watching #as opposed to crying alone because atp i have also cried in a car with 5 other people and a bed with 2 others #it is actually a skill #god im so fucking depressed #i just want a hug please hhhh i miss the hugs so much i miss feeling safe and knowing #everything will be okay #as long as we were too #fuck #i hate everything #i don't know what to do anymore #also haha stay tuned cause i can't really talk to anyone

[the-kipsabian]

im through almost every other folder and piece of writing for this project, except for the trilogy stuff..

theres 271 files in that folder and multiples of them are +50 pages long :))))

#mads yells #what do you mean i left this to the last day to do lol #i mean i have. three days. to get this shit together and do it and finish it #and i got a few good things selected already #im just. way too fucking tired to be able to really function tonight for much longer hhhh #at least i have some time tomorrow i guess. and the whole friday #i get to focus on something else instead of panicking the trip mmmm #also this idea prompted at me that i could. do a similar thing to my friend for her birthday tho? #shes been asking me multiple times when she can read something ive written and im just like. yeah i could do that? #tho then it would probably just be some trilogy stuff and yeah but still #i could do. a little collection book for her birthday #as my original plan is most likely gonna get stretched to be a christmas gift instead so mmmmm #thingssssss #anyways im procrastinating hardcore right now i honestly just wanna sleep but its only half eight hhhhh

[mysticvenus]

wow we love crying over everything and nothing at the same time

#i knew it was a bad idea to go tonight hhhh #she keeps kissing me and cuddling me and touching me and hhhh #she has a boyfriend and she still does it #i was so tired i didnt care but she was touching my ass and kept complimenting it??? leave me alone??? #also stop playing with my feelings??? #like fuck dude you have a boyfriend and you dont like me so stop acting like you do #im glad my other friend was there bc he tolde her to leave me alone so thank god for him but hhh #as soon as i got home i started fucking sobbing #god im so alone #i have no one to fucking talk to about anything #im gonna be alone forever im so upset #i get im annoying and shit but why cant a nice girl whos interested in me just fucking exsist #no one likes me and im never gonna have a real experience of dating anyone in high school #i hate this #i feel like this breakdown has been building up though with everything and im jist emotionally and physically exhausted #i used all my spoons up hours ago but i still went and it was such a bad idea #i wish i never went #talk with julia

[pxppinmolly-archived]

“Kinda wanna be cuddled.. Kinda wanna be touched inappropriately..”

#Blowing Bubbles (IC) #Death Is The After Party (Main Verse) #mature text #ig #hhhh #im mood is just still rlly shot #n im just #taps my fingers against the table as my eye. twitches. #im kinda hurt over the same shit but also remembered some other shit that bothered me not toolong ago #added on top of this im like #:'/ #a c k!! #ah well w/e w/e w/e #im just tired skdj #so anyway just take Molly being. herself #cus despite my mood she's still pretty fucking jiving n that makes me happy/ kfjg

[slowdecaying]

Screams

#hhhh i cant do this anymore #i just vant #im so stressed om.so tired i cant do snytging #i jutsbwanna be alone #i want yhe wjole world to disappear #leave me tje fuck alone #rveythinh is tok stressful #humans are shit #everythiny ia shit #i wanna die #i wanna die. #i want to #die

[neotrinitythinker]

Noah fence, but can life stop being hard for like five seconds because i can't remember the last time i was like, actually properly happy without having to distract myself from real life

#personal #i wanna cry and i want to scream and none of this is fair and no one is on my side #i want to break shit #i want to be able to cry and be angry without my family acting like i'm just being an asshole #let me !!! be a !!! teen !!!! stop making me have to grow up so fast #im so sad and tired #i didnt ask for any of this!!!!!! #this is about the moving situation #and hhhh #you arent supposed to make selfish choices and ignore how your daughter feels why why why why why are you so selfish why why #this wouldnt hurt so much if my brother was coming but hes not and im in pain #why why cant the world be kind to me for once #and it sounds so fucking stupid and dumb when i dont even believe in god to pray to him asking for him to not let this happen but im so sad #and its fucking bullshit #its all bullshit

[waluijoe]

i have this Thing where i ,,,, feel like i am TooMuch as person w too many interests who lie in too many different places, with too many ways to think & talk & feel, and above this all the crown is that i HATE being perceived but i want to talk&learn so badly. 

ive found that in relationships of any kind this could be difficult to deal w... it creates this thing where pple might think i’m extremely intelligent&resourceful&passionate so they idealize me and they will listen but they won’t participate. then i start feeling like i should be a little less so i can stop being intimidating & they can start sharing too. then i never know how to be fully myself again because i’ve understood that if i was, it meant facing disconnect. like, they’ll think they can’t add anything to the convo and 1) not speak, therefore, i feel lonely 2) ignore me entirely (on apps mostly) so somebody else can deal w me instead like im a bother 3) pretend they listen/care but only answer in questions & never actually find meaning in what i say or try to dig deeper into it 4) listen, truly, and keep my ideas w them, and speak those ideas to other pple but never actually follow through much with me by adding to the convo later on or in the moment etc 

or, pple might be judgemental. so then i hide little parts, i hide interests, i speak of them a Little bit because i don’t wanna lie or be a different person, but i never really dig into what i wanna talk abt half as much as i truly want to because i know it won’t be met well. so then i start having this unconscious lists of topics that are palatable depending on who’s in front of me. and i adapt. 

or, i start compartmentalizing my own fkcing personnality. my own interests. can’t talk abt this here, thats fine, i’ll create a twitter specifically for that one thing. oh but now, i wanna talk abt That other thing, slightly linked, but different, maybe thats too chaotic to add here, maybe it doesnt fit, maybe pple will perceive too much, i should create Another twitter for This specific thing ? or maybe i should just not talk abt it. yeah. sounds good too. i have literally 4 tumblrs, 3 different twitters, just so i can safely spread out my interests becos one day i’ll feel like speaking a bit more personnally, the next i’ll feel like “no i should only speak abt the topic when i have meaningful things to say or else i sound DUMB and whiny and pple will see i have feelings that arent greatly worded analysis” im so fkcing HHHH i feel like i won’t let myself exist as a full person ANYWHERE because i keep seeing Other pple and they seem like theyre put together and they only speak One way, they only have Specific likes, they know the social clues, the social contexts, the workings of things, and they fit into it. i dont understand Shit abt anything.. worse, i do, but i don’t fit in and i don’t know how other pple do, and i can’t bring myself to commit to the rules & the fitting in because it makes me feel like a liar. 

maybe i should just Not give a fuck and create a space where i can say whatevr the fuck i want and it wld not matter at all, but i would feel too bad for that if someone perceived it. if im alone, like here, it doesnt mtter, no one reads this. but if i mention a band i like, suddenly my brainworms activate like “if pple search this band, THEY WILL KNWO WHAT U SAID, they will its YOU, theyll think you’re a fkcing PRICK or DERANGED” like okay.. what abt existing huh. you wrong footed fuck. im so tired. i wanna find a meaningful space or some type of freedom but i never feel,,, satisfied. i never feel home anywhere. i never feel home within myself, i hate that pple might see that. 

#ynn talks

[bubbled-clouds]

fuck it im acing my chem test will i do the same for math? idk.

#chem and math in the same FUCKING day. #i have math first and chem last like what the Fuck universe #its like it want me to have a mental breakdown #sidenote tho my chem grade raised to an ✨a✨ #im trying to have at Least.. all a’s for the progress report (grading ends friday) #so. hopefully? #my mayh grade is at a b cuz ya gorl bombed their last test (oops) #all a’s inculde a- lemme just let yall know that before you think im crazy smart or whatever bc lemme tell you- #im Barely hanging on to my a in history its so fun! #*remembers i have a shit ton of chapters to read for english* #uh oh. #guess im staying up till 2 am tmrrw night:) #rip bee #im so tired and my stomach hurts but i have to study for math or else my grades gunna Tank skbdks #im like 3ish % away from an a in math hhhh rip me #history i think will get bumped up tho #hopefully #math and chem my hatred #its my tumblr i get to choose what i post #i say whilst feeling guilty for making a post all abt my #me* #anyways #im off to try and study

[laceghost]

bangs head on table

#GOD im so fucking tired of school #i have. so much work. all the time. #i dont wanna spend every second of all my day working!!!! i dont wanna live like this #sigh im supposed to work but finding motivation is so hard lately #i dont wanna work!!!! fuck this shit i wanna go on a picnic with my friends #also. im constantly thinking abt my bf wich makes it even harder to concentrate hhhh #im not gonna see him during the weekend next week bcs we have a ton of deadlines and that sucks real bad #hhhh i wanna ramble abt my bf but. i have a deadline at midnight #so like in 40m :) #anyway back to work. sigh #rambling