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d8dreaming · 4 years

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“Love Your Body”

It’s what we’re told, especially as women, to do now. I fully accept this mantra and fully intend to enact it in real life... one day. Bodies are never that simple, though. They hold our rumbling tummies, our nervous hearts, our restless toes. They are a canvas of our scars, freckles, and bruises that carry the physical memories of times come and gone. And they’re always... there. My body and I have a “complicated” relationship. I’ve been a type 1 diabetic since I was about a year and a half old- meaning my pancreas was attacked by way too helicopter-y of cells from its own immune system, thanks! Calm the fuck down, Karens. To top it off, I was with my twin when this happened- we both got the flu- and she recovered, pancreas fully working and unscathed. How rude! I’ve always been a little boggled by the fact that my body would not be able to survive without the medicine in my machine- yes that luxurious manmade insulin! It’s also crazy to think that 100 years ago, I would not have lived more than 4 or 5 years after my diagnosis (and would probably be staaarrrving). I won’t bore you with the full history, but insulin wasn’t discovered until 1921 and a bunch of doggies were frankenstein-ed (and likely killed) for this. Woof- no wonder I’m a dog lover. Most days, I almost forget I have diabetes- in fact, I think I kind of do. I was so young when I got it, that it really is second-nature. My machine (pump) has its home in all of my jean pockets. The cord may occasionally snag on a door or my backpack strap, but it’s no biggie. I’m not at all bothered when people ask me about it. Then there are the moments that bother me- like when my needle hurts my butt while I’m running. Or when I actually look at my butt (just the cheeks!) in the mirror and see all of the battle scars; the regular pokes, the infected areas, my right cheek’s role as the “sensor spot” and my left cheek’s role as the “pump spot.” It’s been 20 years now that I’ve been putting needles in my booty, and it will probably be at least 20 more. It is daunting to see my elephant skin, especially now that having a firm, smooth ass is such a treasure in our culture. Count me out cause that ain’t ever happening. That moment in particular- the ass scars one- catches me. I sometimes get self-conscious and think about all the men I’ve ever slept with: “Is that why he didn’t text me back?” “Should I keep the lights off?” “Is doggy-style a no go?” “Are my needles scary/weird/gross?” But then I remember, this butt is literally my life. It is a crucial part of me getting my life-saving medicine. Because of my scarred butt, I can live a mostly normal human existence with (hopefully non butt judgmental and consensual) sex, exercise, work, fooooooood, etc. I would not be where I am without my butt, scars and all. I guess the point of this post is to help me remember that loving my body isn’t always easy, and that’s ok. Our bodies hold our stories, our trauma, our insecurities to name a few. But it is so much more pleasant to show up in this world believing our bodies are a thing to be loved- or in my case, my booty is a thing to be WORSHIPPED. Bow down. Lol, peace!

#bodypositivity #feminism #type 1 diabetes #butt #self love

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mzyrimworld · 5 years

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Duster Part 6 - Quadrum 5

Last quadrum the colony suffered its first death thanks to a lethal mechanoid on a rescue mission, but it still gained more people than it lost. Hopefully there won’t be any more for a while...

After rescuing Lucya’s ex-husband Vladimir it seems that everybody’s exes are getting in contact! There’s only one enemy, but two turrets. At least there are no mechanoids this time, though...

A prisoner has chosen to join! Sky is a fairly young local and it’s useful to have another medic and farmer.

His former prison-mate is not so pleased, perhaps realising it’s only a matter of time before they are won over too...

The cruel woman goes after the first thing she sees - beating up the poor heavily-pregnant alpaca! Everyone else jumps in to defend it, so she won’t be able to hurt the alpaca any further.

She’s quickly put down and back in the prison, where Henry will tend to her shortly I’m sure.

It seems the colonists have decided to bring some democracy to the proceedings! Both candidates are from our original three, so they’ll retain control of the colony either way.

We even have their platforms! Henry seems to be appealing to equality, which is surprising given her misandrist tendencies - at least she’s not trying to put all the women above all the men...

Zeiph, meanwhile, seems to be very outcome-oriented. We wonder what he means by ‘good’ citizens - morally? Skilled? Some of the colonists might be alarmed if he means the latter... It’ll be interesting to see who they all vote for!

Speaking of dubious colonists, this might be the last time Beryl collapses from a combination of being stoned and withdrawal symptoms - it looks as though he may finally be breaking from his addiction, and may become a much better worker for it, perhaps in time for a scary Mayor Zeiph.

An intriguing trade offer has come through for the colonists! They have a lot of materials with which they could craft the requested goods if they want to, so that should not be a problem. Nobody actually needs a new eye at present, but given some of the wounds so far and how good it sounds to be, it seems likely they will take up the offer anyway.

They were already struggling for storage space, so the colonists mine further into the mountain to create more. We have heard that there can be dangerous rooms in mountains, but the one they’ve discovered here seems to be empty and safe for use.

7th of Septober and the voting begins! We know Henry is always prone to anxiety, but perhaps even Zeiph is right now... Also it’s only mid-Spring, but it’s already heating up a lot at the colony. They’ll have to invest in cooling systems once again.

And Henry has won the very first election of the colony and of our show! I’m frankly not surprised; it sounded as though Zeiph might have wanted to kick some people out if he had won. Hopefully she can take the pressure on top of her anxiety...

Her reign’s not off to the best start though - the same night a couple of raiders have shown up! This man doesn’t appear to be very well equipped or skilled...

This one is better equipped but not that well skilled either. Hopefully the people who are still awake can handle it without waking everybody...

Henry and Zeiph were still around from the voting, so they and Henry’s more aggressive animals come out to fight, perhaps still wanting to prove themselves to their fellow colonists.

Both animals are downed, but both men are badly hurt without getting close to Henry or Zeiph as yet. This one appears to be trying to flee, but he’s not going to get far bleeding that badly...

Instead he winds up going for Henry directly, and dying for his troubles. Hopefully the other raider will think twice before trying anything now.

With the raiders killed or captured, it’s tending time. Poor Jethro has now lost a leg to match his tail! He should still be able to walk to a degree, but it must be a struggle.

Just a quick reminder that Henry did sign the waiver for herself and her dog, so we cannot be sued for anything that happens to either of them!

The ibex ram got battered again (it must be very tenderised at this rate), but should recover from the bruising fine given time.

It’s not just the animals though! Henry’s copied Dead and gotten her right ear destroyed! Shame it’s not a bionic ear they’re hoping to pick up! Hopefully this won’t affect her ability to listen to her constituents too much!

But the worst was suffered by the raiders. This one’s lucky the colonists have such skilled medics to hand, or he’d bleed out very quickly.

Perhaps she just didn’t want to share a prison again, but we have a tenth colonist as the other prisoner has chosen to join! She’s not very skilled, and I’m not about to forget the time she beat up the pregnant alpaca, but the colony does need more people if it is to send people out on trades and requests.

Speaking of requests, with this extra colonist on hand, it has been decided to try and rescue Vas’ ex-girlfriend. Vas, Vladimir and Beryl are all brawlers so were probably itching for the chance to smash some enemies, and Fuego has the sole gun for range.

So they set out west, across the rivers and plains, to their destination.

Whilst they are on their way, the alpaca manages to safely give birth to another female alpaca, seemingly unaffected by the beating its mother received earlier.

The travellers arrive at their location and we can see our first glimpse of Priscilla, and the one guardsman on patrol. We’re more worried about the turrets, however...

The plan was for the brawlers to go in and take the turret down while Fuego shot from a distance- But wait! What’s Fuego doing there instead of Vas? And what’s that hissing sound?

The damaged turret exploded! And Vladimir is dead instantly! It looked like all three of them tried to run, but none of them got far and Vladimir has been especially slow since his psychite withdrawal kicked in, so he got almost nowehere. Beryl and Fuego are still alive, but badly hurt...!

Of course all the commotion had the guard come running, but Vas is able to make short work of him so he can focus on his fellow colonists...

Poor Beryl, not long since his withdrawal symptoms wore off, now he’s had shots to his head and torso, and both legs shredded - he needs medical attention and fast!

And Fuego’s not much better off, with her torso, leg and arm all shredded too. She won’t last long without help...

Of course, the colonists weren’t so foolish to leave the colony without some herbal medicine - except the only medics who came were Vladimir and Fuego herself! Vas is unable to help them at all, and it’s too far back to the base!

In desperation, Vas tries to batter the wall away from the remaining turret, to free his ex and hopefully get help for his friends!

He gets through in time and she gratefully joins the colony- But the one thing she cannot do, for all her skills and interests, is medicine! Is there nothing they can do for Beryl and Fuego?!

There is certainly nothing to be done for Vladimir. It seems that the explosion shredded his head and torso, killing him instantly. Perhaps Lucya will be relieved? Who knows...

Beryl bleeds out first, as expected, probably the saddest loss of the trio.

And then Fuego. For all that some danger must have been anticipated, this must be much worse than anticipated. Their first turret, they didn’t realise it would explode! Next time ranged weapons, it seems.

Meanwhile Priscilla’s not even being careful, wandering into the remaining turret’s zone! She’ll be lucky not to get infected when there’s no medic around. Still, they have subdue the guard, so they’re fixing the hole in the wall to keep him in until they can leave. They could kill him, of course, but they could use new recruits at this rate...

And while all this has been going on, a dry thunderstorm has caused fires near the home base, getting close to a new storage room that still has a wooden wall! It hardly compares to the massacre elsewhere though, even if it would be annoying to lose some of the new tuques Zeiph is making.

Frustratingly, the one gun’s range isn’t quite far enough for Priscilla to destroy the battrey to the remaining turret without letting it shoot her. Hopefully she can manage it before she joins the rest of the dead colonists...!

She manages it, but not without shots to her torso and kidney! 20 hours isn’t enough to get back to the main base and they still have no medic here, so they’re just going to have to try to pack up and pray that the bleeding dies down enough for her to make it, or Vas will be returning alone with the guard he didn’t even come for.

It seems that without animals, only one prisoner and one colonist badly wounded, the party simply doesn’t have the strength to carry the bodies home. Not all of them, for sure, and not any if they want to also carry enough food to get home too, so the deceased are going to have to be buried here instead.

I am only reluctantly giving Fuego a montage, I’m not convinced she deserves it after beating up that pregnant alpaca for no good reason, and she was barely a colonist anyway. Also, if she had stuck to the plan and sniped from a distance, maybe none (or less) of this would have happened.

*Vaguely sad and very half-hearted unlicensed music plays*

The colonists came across Fuego Grande keeping Vladimir hostage, kicked her ass and took her prisoner.

She did eventually decide to join, but not before trying to break out and beating up a pregnant alpaca along the way. No I will not let this go.

She might have had promise if she had stuck with ranged attacks instead of trying to melee, but instead she’s dead.

On to the other deceased members: we didn’t really get to know Vladimir much, but we’ll give him a montage anyway.

*Generic unlicensed sad music plays*

Vladimir Black, 63 years old. There are still so many unanswered questions. What was an urbworld politician doing in this backwater planet? What happened between him and Lucya to break them up? Why would you ever shave off that magnificent beard? Maybe Lucya knows, but she’s not talking and now he can’t either.

We can’t say for certain that Vladimir was a ‘good’ man, but he had his skills, got on with people for the short while he was a colonist, and despite his psychite withdrawal he never broke down and took it out on anybody, which is better than many could do.

I’m not sure that he’ll be missed, but he at least had a good run.

This is the saddest case, and the one that the colonists would have wanted back most of all, but food is more important to save those who are still alive, and Beryl’s not alone here.

Get some better sad music!

*Some genuinely quite sad and still unlicensed music plays*

Joel ‘Beryl’ Gemhunter made it nearly a year as a colonist after being rescued. It wasn’t always easy, and he struggled for a lot of that time with withdrawal symptoms from his Wake-Up addiction, but he kept trying.

He may have been 78 chronologically, but his 29 actual years showed in his behaviour. He wasn’t good at much, but he put all his effort into the things he did, helping to fearlessly take down the mechanoid, taming animals... getting stoned.

It’s a real shame that he died so soon after getting clean, with all his future ahead of him, he could have continued being a good defender of the colony.

I still don’t know if Gemhunter is a real name, but we’ll let him keep it in his grave. May he toke away* as much as he wants in the afterlife.

*Again our network must confirm that we do not endorse drug use. If you or any of your loved ones have issues with Wake-Up, Psychite or Smokeleaf, please speak to your doctor.

Anyway, with everyone buried, the two remaining colonists start back with their prisoner, despite Priscilla gradually bleeding out from her wounds. I don’t think she’ll merit a montage if she dies on the way; everyone’s just seen the entirety of her time with the colonists! She’d never have even seen the home base!

Speaking of the home base, all the forests have been burning down while we have been distracted.

Fortunately, nearly as soon as we paid attention to them again, it started raining, saving the fields and the new half-wooden storage room.

We can’t get visuals on the travellers, but we can get some vital health details - while Priscilla is still barely conscious, it looks like she may have stopped bleeding? I don’t want to speak too soon, but if the men can help or carry her on, she may survive...!

In clearer good news, the pregnant muffalo safely gave birth to another female muffalo. Makes you wonder what the colonists’ plans are for moving on from their current site, with the increasing number of pack animals...

The travellers arrive back safely, and it appears that Vas and Priscilla are in good health now too! The prisoner still looks quite battered, but at least there are medics to hand now.

Vas and Priscilla barely get to sleep and they’re sent out again! Zeiph had filled the order of tuques and Vas and Priscilla are used to travelling, so they’re sent off to make the delivery. Presumably they aren’t too awkward despite their ex-lover status?

It’s a long journey though, much further in distance than the one they just made, though at least they have a clear road to follow. It will probably be the next quadrum before they return. Hopefully they won’t drive each other mad!

I feel like they’ve had quite enough drama for this quadrum, but it seems bad influence and ex-raider Deedee has persuaded still-injured Morales to break out with him. I don’t reckon their chances...

No, not the best idea he had there. I’m not convinced they’ll ever win over any of the pirate faction, they all seem like pretty bad eggs. Foolish ones too - if he’d just run for it he might have outpaced them, but for some reason he ducked into the mountain and then tried to bash his way out through a wall using a log. Strange man.

Morales should have stayed in bed, but I’m sure Henry will be back along again shortly to fix him up again. Man needs to learn to resist peer pressure, though perhaps that would make him harder to win over for the colony too.

Oh! Surprisingly, it seems the pirate managed to destroy one of Dead’s fingers, presumably with that log, must have been a lucky shot!

Away from the action for a moment, Vas and Priscilla managed the journey and trade and have started on their way back, but definitely won’t be in time for the end of the quadrum, so we’ll have to have a look at them and their new item another time!

But just before the quadrum ends, Dead has her first mental breakdown, wandering around apathetically. Losing an ear wasn’t enough, but perhaps a finger as well, and all the people who have died lately, has made her realise what she’s gotten into. This is not an easy challenge, folks! We have literally seen people die, if not our original colonists! Dead probably ought to consider herself lucky that her name is not also a description, but perhaps that is what is weighing on her, when that will happen...

Who knows? We’ll just have to keep watching!

Final stats:

Henry: Lost an ear, but now mayor!

Jethro: Lost a leg :(

Zeiph: Lost an election

Dead: Lost a finger

Ibex ram: Beaten up again

Lion: Incredibly fine, as usual

Beryl: Dead :(

Lucya: Minus an ex-husband, maybe for the best?

Vladimir: Dead...

Vas: Took some shots and forced to spend time with an ex-girlfriend, but alright

Sky: Recruited, doing alright

Fuego: Recruited, dead.

Priscilla: Recruited, got a bullet wound scar on her kidney, but alive

Other animals: one poor alpaca beaten up, but a muffalo and an alpaca born

Colony: Went up to ten people, lost three, gained one, now at eight again (and one prisoner). 1 husky, 1 ibex ram, 3 muffalo and 3 alpacas.

#Rimworld #Rimworld: Duster #Rimworld gameplay

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mzyrimworld · 5 years

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Duster Part 5 - Quadrum 4

At the end of the last quadrum (Fall), our colony of now 7 people and 6 animals were receiving distress calls, including one from the newest colonist’s ex-husband, which was quite the quandary...

And the distress calls don’t let up! It sounds like this man could be useful in a fight, but the colonists haven’t come across any mechanoids yet and we’ve heard they can be incredibly lethal. Will they risk it?

The base is still expanding, including a gaming room in a nearby mountain. They could use more storage space, but - if they do go out to rescue anybody - some of that food may disappear.

6th of Jugust: The colonists have decided to take a risk and go out to rescue somebody! Only Henry of our original three is going, together with the more aggressive animals, as well as Lisa and Beryl. Hopefully the travels will help to keep Beryl out of trouble as he struggles with his Wake-Up addiction.

The same evening, they have arrived at the easiest option - the outpost where Lucya’s ex-husband is being held! There’s only two people visible at the moment, but there could be more hiding inside...

A third did emerge, but it didn’t take Henry and the animals long to dispose of him! The other two are suffering badly...

And after a short skirmish the remaining two opponents are downed, but not dead. Fortunately there’s already a prison cell to hold them until they’re ready to leave. Lisa hasn’t taken too much damage, though it might be painful to travel again soon on that leg...

The worst off is the poor ibex ram, who has now had a hoof shattered to match his jaw, though it looks like it should still be able to travel on, if slowly...

And Jethro got a little battered, but nothing that ought to be permanent.

Perhaps most importantly, we have an eighth colonist! Insert a joke here about greedy criminals becoming politicians! Still, his high social skill could come in very handy for the colonists, and we hear he can be kind? I have to wonder if Lucya agreed to rescuing him...

One small issue though - Beryl’s not going to be the only addict in the colony now, as though the others won’t be sick of dealing with grumpy people suffering with withdrawal symptoms...

The next morning the rescuers have decided to take a chance and try to risk the man near the sleeping mechanoid. They brought plenty of food for travelling, they just have to hope they can sneak the man out without causing too much trouble...

Whilst they are journeying, back at the main base the colonists discovered that the female alpaca is pregnant! I don’t know how long alpaca pregnancies last, but hopefully ex-vet Henry will be around in time to oversee the delivery.

That evening our travelling colonists arrive at the distress call - and the man in question is alarmingly close to the sleeping mechanoid. Still, they haven’t come out here just to turn around again...

Vladimir, perhaps as the newest, is sent in (with Henry and Lisa poised to cover him) and he successfully recruits our nineth colonist! Vas is not a good-looking man, but he is skilled with all weapons, and building materials. Could be very useful, once he recovers...

None of his wounds are that bad, and he even has a bionic ear!

Though perhaps I should say if he recovers, and his injuries so far - despite their best efforts, that mechanoid looks rather awake to me...!

Oh no! A colonist has been killed! Lisa was doing well together with Henry, giving enough distraction to allow Vladimir and Vas to escape, but first a shot took off her arm and then, when she tried to retreat, a shot straight to the torso destroyed her heart!

No time to mourn yet, the mechanoid is still upright...

And it’s downed with no further deaths! Original colonist Henry is completely unharmed, and Beryl looks fine too.

Here we can see the damage done to the mechanoid - it was Lisa using the revolver, and I believe she was responsible for destroying the fluid reprocessor and possibly also the arm; she went down fighting.

The only other one to be injured is the ibex ram, but it only appears to be bruises; it’s had far worse injuries recently.

With both missions done, the travellers plan to head home in the morning, taking Lisa’s body with them for proper burial.

Back home, the other colonists are not having the best time either - a cold snap is killing off plants, and the muscle parasites are back, infecting Zeiph again but now Dead as well.

But, on the bright side, the female muffalo is pregnant now too.

And late that evening the travellers and prisoners arrive back, several of them still injured and needing to rest.

While the others were gone, the homebody colonists helpfully built a larger prison for just such an occasion. Perhaps it might tempt the captives to join the fold, like Lion before them.

Not that this young man seems especially skilled, but a spare pair of hands doesn’t hurt.

This woman is older, but hardly more skilled. Somebody needs to invest in schools on this planet!

There was a cargo pod drop of smokeleaf nearby, and I don’t think we can blame Lucya for greeting the news that her ex-husband would be living in their colony by promptly getting stoned* and going back to work.

*Please note that we do not condone drug use, and the words and actions of the colonists do not reflect our views as a company. Please consult your doctor if you or somebody you love are having trouble with drug use.

I should confirm that there have been no positive relationship developments so far, despite the number of colonists around now. There also haven’t been any fights, despite some people getting rebuffed. There must be drama sooner or later though...

Finally, Lisa’s body is interred respectfully in a decorated sarcophagus. Hopefully they will be able to avoid having to extend that room for more sarcophagi any time soon.

Can we get a Lisa montage? We’ll try a brief Lisa montage. Get some unlicensed sad music!

*Very unlicensed sad music*

What can be said of Lisa Hogan? She crashed from the sky into our colonists’ lives, slowly bleeding out from a wound in her shoulder.

She was the first to join the colony, having been rescued, despite sleeping on the half-dirt floor of a very basic room. She might have just left, but she stayed.

She wasn’t particularly skilled, but she helped out with the research when others were busy, and got involved in the fights when necessary.

Despite only seeming to be 39, she was born 2,284 years ago. The other colonists probably should have asked her about that. And how she stayed so optimistic when this was almost bound to happen. Plus how she fit all those dreadlocks under a cowboy hat. Now we’ll never know.

May she have her own joywire in the afterlife. And at least she got immortalised on TV rather than dying in obscurity.

Anyway, back to the living colonists, Lucya is not the only one lighting it up. Beryl seems to have decided that the best way to get through the withdrawal symptoms of one drug is to binge on another.

He’s not managing much of a binge, though, because between the two problems he winds up on the floor unable to move for several hours. Luckily somebody usually hauls him to a bed to sleep it off.

Until his bingeing coincides with an electrical fault the sets the building on fire!

Don’t get excited though: other colonists came running quickly to put the fire out and put Beryl to bed again. He should be the majority of the way through his Wake-Up withdrawal symptoms now, I’m sure the colonists are hoping it will soon be in the past.

Perhaps we shouldn’t complain though, without Beryl’s various breakdowns the rest of the season would have been very boring. Perhaps Vladimir will pick up the slack next season as his Psychite withdrawal kicks in too...

Final stats:

Henry: No change

Jethro: No change

Dead: Now with muscle parasites

Zeiph: Now with muscle parasites again

Ibex ram: Now has a shattered hoof as well as its jaw

Lisa: Lost arm, heart, life </3

Lion: No change

Beryl: Constantly on the verge of a breakdown

Female alpaca: Pregnant

Female muffalo: Pregnant

Male alpaca + muffalo: Fine

Lucya: Not thrilled to be around her ex-husband

Vladimir: Going into Psychite withdrawal and seeing ex-wife

Vas: That face ain’t improving, but at least he’s got good hearing?

Colony: Lost one colonist, gained two

#Rimworld #Rimworld: Duster #Rimworld gameplay

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