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hanzi83 · 1 year
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Annual Depression During Mania Time
I shouldn’t have to give a disclaimer already but since I know most of the shit I put out is normally consumed by people who probably dislike me so they can keep record of everything I write down, and decide how to act on it, but part of me feels as much as I feel good doing a podcast, sometimes I can’t remember all my talking points and there is a lot of stuttering and dead air at times, depending on how motivated I am to do shit, but as the world goes to shit and everyone just gets worse, me included. I am not special in that regard, I feel like I need to write shit down more and try articulate it in writing because for a couple of years I stopped doing it for public consumption, if you wanted to catch up on my sporadic thoughts, you would have to be aligned with a hack team and fed type accounts who can keep track at what I write down in “private” and sell the information, and me knowing this kind of takes away from it to an extent, because initially fucked up people feel good having the leg up on being able to see my irrational thoughts and thinking out loud because they think I am not aware, but when I become aware, I then become more vitriolic about any party I am venting towards because I feel if you don’t want to get triggered then maybe stop being a sociopath and stop monitoring people so you can figure out how to fuck with someone for a later date, since I am a guinea pig and will always be used for social experiments, because we live in a pretentious reality show, and more and more people have aspirations to be sports entertainers, because everything has to be entertainment. I feel like if you are going to go to dirty lengths to monitor a mentally unwell man, then you should at least have to come face to face with some of your flaws and shit you won’t want to be held accountable for because my perceived truth is that once you join a cult or a mafia type of faction, anything fucked up you partake in, you will have your back up that enables your continued shitty behavior. Fucked up people are not even happy with the spoils and aesthetic, they have to feel the need to get revenge on me, whether it is organizing online torment, whether it is dragging me out to a social function so everyone can practice their sports entertainment personas, they don’t want drama but try to undermine me with snide remarks and make me feel like shit, and trying to find ways to politic themselves into my life, and I will never escape that, so this is why I know I will never be free mentally from this, even me venting about it brings problems, because I know there is consequences for even venting my justified feelings over the secretive nature of shit in my life or how the world is continuing to crumble. This is why this year, the annual “I am going to pretend not to give a shit about pro wrestling because I am still blacklisted from being allowed to go to festivities during Mania weekend where I deactivate my twitter account and come back hours later to vent more then deactivate it again” doesn’t feel as prominent. Maybe because I have seen what this entertainment industry has done to respectable people, there is no bounds people will go to be a caricature for sports entertainment to be initiated into the wrestling illuminati’s biggest weekend. I used to always dread this year because it was punishment for not selling my soul, like it being amplified toward my direction because I could’ve done it if I played ball and been propped up and every day I would regret not being able to be corruptible and compromised because maybe life would be a bit easier, but seeing how much horrible people have become, and seeing their trajectory it has made it a lot easier to accept that it was for the better, because even though I am far from perfect, I don’t look like much, I am not relevant, if people decided to finally pay attention to me, they would just assume that I am some mentally ill narcissist, I mean yeah, but the entire system and everyone they enable are that, but it is just some are enabled by a cult to make it seem like they are more normal, then you have people like me, someone who they keep alive, because I still have creative shit to disperse that others can use for their advantage. 
I know I am not supposed to give a shit, because for someone who says he doesn’t I sure like to tweet, podcast, and blog through it, but I guess in previous years I knew there was corruption and fucked up shit going on but there was still some moments of positive outlook in the future, but now that the future is destined to be more fucked up and dystopian, every other week, there is a train derailment, and I am not allowed to think “Maybe this world is destined to go to shit, that they are poisoning everything, taking rights away from people, the powerful flaunting their evil and corruption they will never have to answer for, they are fueling everyone up with nonstop culture wars to get people to go more to the right” so when this shit is transpiring and the sports entertainment of promoting Trump shit, nothing will happen to him, but the threat of something happening to him will get people to get riled up for him because the powerful have control of the alt media which gets more viewed than most of the MSM shit that everyone constantly dunks on because legacy media is complete shit and parody. The right wing trajectory is going into that direction, and they need the proper spokesperson for the justification why things keep falling on its face on the surface, because the end goal is having faction and civil war shit, I don’t want that shit to happen, but I also can’t hide from the possibility of that going down, because since this decade has started it feels like the testing grounds for the pandemic, and protests and insurrections and more culture wars, it feels like all of that was a manifestation into what will transpire in the future. This is why I don’t want to be on this planet anymore. I am not gonna survive this shit. Maybe facing death will be my only way to escape this life because I don’t see anything positive, I have already suffered mentally for the last decade plus and it is not even allowed to be looked at as trauma, because even people in my life don’t give me any empathy of what I have been through, and it makes me question how much they have enjoyed me being kept down while they got to have all the access and the spoils off my fucking back, and then think they can vulture their way into my life if anything good happens. I don’t like how sociopathic or elitist people have become, and I would never want to partake in that kind of shit, and if I express this, then there are issues because I am still needed, even though they insist on presenting me as as this mentally ill person living in his parents basement, and anything to to fend off the shit spread about me, is automatically discredited and if I do make valid points to challenge the propaganda, then it gets ignored and this shit continues to be irrelevant, and that makes people who have power feel happy because they are probably the only people who consume this and take pleasure that I can put effort into writing shit down, getting shit off my chest and letting out irrational thought, and no one will give a shit, they will once they can make this into a documentary so everyone can get their 15 minutes to become their villains or heroes in this fucking story.
So normally I get depressed during this time because as much as I have a difficult relationship with pro wrestling because this entertainment has poisoned a lot of our minds and it gets worse once people have an in, in the system and want to hang out with people in the industry and I used to get depressed that I put in this much effort and put myself out there for an exploitative show and never was allowed to have enjoy my “fame” but maybe going through what I have gone through, it has made it easier for me not to really give a shit about never attending a WM in my life. People will show that off to rub in my face, but it is like most of you compromised yourselves to get that access, so enjoy the aesthetic, there are clear mental issues there if you think flaunting it to an already mentally ill man, like there is a special kind of sociopathic behavior that exists if that is the case, like it gets you off so much more to know this good time was rewarded but it would be pointless if you can’t cum to the fact that you have to know I am being miserable. In fact these same people will get mad if I go out to events to enjoy myself because their whole “YOU AREN’T OUTSIDE” arguments goes up in flames, and even when they are outside, they are still catering their entire persona to being an online social climber who will show how much of shills you people really are but then still try to maintain your “credibility” and because I don’t believe anyone, and most of those people are gonna deal with their trauma once the good time stops, and you find out that people in the industry will use you as a muse then spit you out when they find someone else, and all those false promises made will not be fulfilled. Everyone who is enjoying being at the top and part of the in crowd will end up like everyone else, riddled with disappointment and waking up the fact that you will have to reflect on the caricature like shit you had to do to be considered cool, because being cool at the age of 30-40 should be the number one priority. Like writing these self indulgent blogs are not fucking cool, I know I am a fucking loser, but your aesthetic and your connections don’t make you better than me. And when I stopped giving a shit about which celebs I can hang out with, suddenly people felt useless with dangling that over my head to lure me into continuing to watch and cover wrestling even though I am looking to permanently stop watching it. It is the last entertainment thing I really watch because all of the entertainment is fueled by nonstop discourse, so things will be done poorly so we can have other cogs in the system thinking they are smarter because they are going along with a permitted, and scripted narrative that somehow opposes the rich people who produce or make art. It feels pretentious. Now with the political shit seeping into our entertainment, and this has not been a new thing. Entertainment has always been part of the political shit, it has always been designed to shape our opinions, and to be manipulated which is why people get defensive about the entertainment now, because they either want to hang out with people who do that shit, or they have some stake in it, no one has a stake in the podcast or blogs I do, so you won’t have someone be a genuine fan of mine to say “I enjoy your podcast and blogs”, it will be “I used to listen to you on Stern, you want to call in again” aka “We were sent to make you feel wanted only in the Stern world where we will drive you crazy again and you will want to give in because you are sick of being irrelevant but we have been keeping an eye on you and hearing you articulate your points better, and it is becoming threatening, so we will send people from the past to show up and act like they want a peaceful relationship with you so you end up losing your mind since you are the one who loses their mind on the surface, we can keep blaming you’ if that makes any sense, it probably doesn’t but you are still hate reading this entire blog. I feel like writing more but was not sure when to break for a paragraph so let me do that right now. 
I really think the online fandom and the political nature that has shown its ugly head on social media really has woken me up to how pretentious all of this shit is. Because for so long people thought the most genuine opinions were opinions on the internet because talking heads would make it seem like people like Vince McMahon doesn’t know what the internet is, even though I believe him and other billionaire villains control their narratives, from the negative and positive, as long as they control the flow of it, that is why it is not a coincidence we live in an era where the promoted corruption in this world has never been so transparent, kind of like we live in a reality show, and they are letting you know about the crimes committed, because they are not gonna suffer any consequences, they will go to country club prison, maybe they will get their illuminati clones to do the time for them, maybe they will fake their deaths and hide out because the system can assist with that since most public figures and entertainment institutions probably have ties to the military and other powerful entities that can facilitate shit, but we have to pretend the world is just some regular world and everyone lives by the same rules. What I am trying to say, but I don’t know how well this shit is coming off. I just start writing and then go off whatever comes to my mind and let the people who are reading this get the biggest headaches from having to put together my run on sentences. Maybe Dave Meltzer is ghost writing this shit. Who fucking knows? But because I am at the point of being sick of all the pretentiousness and how elitist people have gotten, and how much entertainment has played a role in normalizing propaganda and manufacturing consent, even the shit on social media, our political world has become sports entertainment, that Wrestlemania weekend doesn’t mean shit to me. Sure I will give in to watch, I always do, I am still weak but I am trying to really stay away from wrestling, especially since most people in that industry are right wing assholes anyways who probably love the idea of fascism that is coming to the world. And everyone wants to be associated with it, and I don’t think I want to. Anytime I feel I don’t want to watch anymore, something happens where they entice me back in because for some reason, they can’t acknowledge my existence, and even have people to make my life worse because of it, but they still need me to be around for this shit. Sorry I am not doing another decade of another company becoming a discourse company, I have mentioned on the podcast about how the last decade or so, it feels like a collaborative effort to destroy companies, like they knew the companies are falling down and becoming more villainous so they had to train people that things were never getting better and when things did have a positive outlook, they knew it would end up being shit in the long run and I always suspected the internet shit, especially in social media was designed for an elaborate work and now AEW has become that discourse company, paid shill accounts helping booking the booking errors so they can seem like the smartest by having solutions for shit that didn’t even need to be broken, and then if you interpret shit differently, the paid shills who work with a script will find a cool way to shit on anyone for enjoying the product, they are paid to be shit disturbers, they probably worked for WWE too but pretended to be against it, in fact a lot of those anti WWE people end up going to WWE events anyways. Why would I want to interact with people who are playing with a script and a cult that enables them to win culture wars? I don’t give a shit if CM Punk comes back. I know the product will be good again, but all this worked shoot shit to make him the prime victim again, because his shills are propping that shit up, it is like it is designed for him to be screwed, you would think someone like him would want to not pull those Hogan/Cena like moves, so this company had their shills undercut the talent that was trying to do the best with their television time, and trying to get over, people in the crowd reacting positively to shit but if anyone pointed that out, they are blind AEW supporters when the real AEW supporters posing as anti establishment personas, get to play the bullies they always wanted to be, in fact their timelines are encouraging violence and torment. They can present it like they are “not giving a fuck” but they have been paid to be shit disturbers who can be permitted to partake in violence because the companies will protect them. That is my feeling. I might not have all the back up. This is all for fandom, people will take shots at me and say “People who get disgruntled by social media can’t handle social situations” and I am thinking that the same people spewing that shit are the ones who get triggered by what I say, shit that no one is engaging with, they go behind the scenes and plot and get my trolls to instill more fear into me or some shit, but because I wear my heart on my sleeve and actually go off on the tactics, that most people can’t see, of course you would think me venting is the problematic thing, not that the fact that factions all day online are working on trying to gaslight and trigger people into responses so you can justify bullying them even more. This is what these entertainment institutions have enabled and because there are political ties to this shit, I can see people slowly transforming into people will political agendas that cosign regressive shit. These companies allow the anti trans and racist, misogynistic and homophobic rhetoric to be spewed but it is seen as “not giving a fuck because political correctness can’t stop me” but billionaire right wingers are paying you all to be regressive and have your moment of “Wokeness out of control” before you embrace the right wing shit. You could keep it simple and say “I am a weak minded person being lured in with spoils and I want to sell out and join these people” Not only do people want to sell out, they also want to have credibility with it and that is some cultic leader shit. Fandom is not just some random shit, it is a fucking cult and different people will only cosign shit they have participation in, and thus the entertainment world and its celebrities don’t mean shit to me, meaning they have more power than people think but I don’t care about their brainwashing. People in these fandoms have ruined people’s lives and piled on people and then taken those people’s complaints and whitewashed it for CM Punk so they can look like they oppose the company. I am sick of people in the industry enabling that shit. The entire system has been built on this childish shit. Then you wonder why people can’t get over high school when the entire system is just high school games and clicks. I don’t think I want to sit at the cool kids table, I don’t give a shit. But someone like me is the problem for not wanting society to go this way but go ahead, you are all gonna continue doing it but you are so sociopathic, you need everyone to get on that page, it bothers you that I don’t give in, even with everything you have. You hate me for the fact that you have to read this sentence.  I really don’t want to care about this entertainment shit and maybe by putting this blog out, it will make people who hate me from those places to then put the final nail in my coffin, because the longer I stay here the more I have to see people become worse, even the people who present us the news have to be entertainers, it all has to be comedic, what does comedy even mean when everything is literally funny because people are so sociopathic, that they would do all this to be perceived as funny. You know how psychotic that shit, organizing echo chamber comedy, what the fuck is funny anymore? I don’t find most shit funny anymore, I don’t find people genuine, I don’t interact with humans. I interact with characters who repeat culture war shit from the internet. This shit is seeping and the more I vent out about this, the more they will now try to torment me more for my opinion, they don’t need to beat the fuck out of me, they can literally use their tactics to play with my mind, and force me in social situations where I will be subjected to more elitist and undermining behavior. I don’t need this shit. I am not that desperate to be social, maybe all the lies I have been told over the last decade, the obvious nature that most people will never admit what they have done, has made my decision easier not to want to interact with people as much anymore. I would like to leave this planet. I think I have outgrown all of this shit. The entertainment shit doesn’t mean shit, it was the the last thing I hung onto because for a bit I enjoyed being known etc, but seeing what political shit plays a part with this, it has made me not give a shit about it, and I am saddened that so many people who pretend they will change it, end up being the regressive shit heads they claimed to hate. Why would I want to join that kind of shit become a hypocrite and I can claim cancel culture when I would be profiting off the right wing to save me from being put in the dirt. 
This was cathartic, I like writing down randomly. I know I do this randomly on twitter whenever I need to vent somewhere but maybe it is easier to understand through this blog. I mean if you are still viewing the world by the promoted rules that exist, you will think it is right wing dribble because anything that is kind of conspiratorial is designed for that, because conspiracies have been a marketing tool for the last decade, but some people who really do understand and might support me privately because they can’t say it out loud, I appreciate you. I don’t think I have that many supporters at this point, the remaining ones have gone away, the people who probably remain are people who think they can use me so they can be my future opps. Because there will always be people employed online to hate you and cause problems so they can have influence in the shit they consume, it is like a game, so people who want to be cool with me, know this and know they can manipulate shit for a problem to arise, and because I have issues with a lot of people, part of the downsides of being mentally ill, it is easy to blame all the shit on me, so people can gain more support. I can peep the game, it is really advanced how people in factions plot to get their way and it is scary. Why would I want to be here to face this shit constantly, I don’t want to become that elitist who denies shit. I could never try to use a cult to shit on others and destroy their lives as easily as a lot of you are willing to do. I would just like to not be here. I don’t serve any purpose other than being a guinea pig to torment even more because letting me die would be too easy. Maybe one day when it is all out there, and it would have to be because I am gone, maybe these blogs and podcasts will come in handy in the future. Right now it will be used to be ignored and only consumed for group chat ridicule where people have to laugh at each other’s bad jokes because they are binded by their blind hatred for me. My trolls can keep showing off who they are associated with and what kind of racist shit they are allowed to say then label me the radical one who they want to push into doing something violent because they have tried to manifest it and perpetuate that rumor even though they are probably the ones who were most likely at the Insurrection. What I am trying to say is that this time of the year used to be hard because the system would have their shill boast about what kind of celebration they have had during Mania weekends etc, and rub my face in it, but this year I don’t give as much of a fuck because I think I am over this industry and the entertainment in general, I hope I can keep manifesting not watching this shit, but in private these industries need me for some reason. I don’t get why. None of them appreciate me anyways, so why would I want to be around people because they are celebrities or connected with them. That doesn’t mean shit to me anymore. But they get scared when I say it because that is the only way they can dangle something over my head to be motivated. They get mad that I do my own shit on my own platform and they have ensured nothing I do will catch traction because I didn’t join their faction of their cult, or their network. I hope I don’t watch Mania, but you know damn well I am gonna be recapping that shit because at the end of the day, what is more professional wrestling fan than writing this diatribe of not wanting to watch it, but then ultimately giving it back in. That is gonna be the story of my life until they decide to remove me from this planet and maybe this will anger enough people in positions of power they will finally cut their losses. This world is going to shit. I don’t want to be here but I will not harm myself or anyone, I am just venting off irrational mentally ill shit, but I know this helped give a good laugh to the shit heads who hate me, and will take joy in the fact I will be always be sucked into this entertainment shit. Only until people get what they want and then they can get rid of me. 
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Over the years, the Order has become a popular topic for movies, novels, websites, and even video games. From the Great Depression, which was ultimately necessary, to world wars. In many people’s minds, the Order idea ties in with the New World Order, a current political idea about a one-world government, religion, and financial system. The New World Order is…
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spectrumed · 3 years
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10. contact
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The key to success is networking. Oh, God, how am I ever going to succeed? Networking? Talking to other people? Making friends? That’s not me, that’s not me at all. I don’t want to make superficial connections with other people just so that I can one day use my connections to get ahead in life. I don’t want to force myself on others, trying to convince them that I am some decent guy that’s totally worth getting to know and be friends with. I don’t know if you’re going to like me or not. I imagine some people would like to be my friend, and I imagine some people would hate to be my friend. I’d rather just forget about the latter group, and not torture myself trying to make friends with people who are fundamentally at odds who I am as a person. I’d rather have a small circle of close friends than a thousand acquaintances. But the key to success is networking.
I’ll never be an insider. This is not me just doubting myself, not some decision to undermine myself. I know that making statements about things that are impossible for you to achieve comes across as very self-defeating, but I know that I will never be an insider. I will never fit into a social clique. I am not going to be part of the boys’ club, yucking it up with my mates. I’m not going to be in any gangs, no bands, most certainly no crews. I am a solo-player. I prefer to work on my own. All my life, I’ve kept to myself, one way or another. I don’t ask for help. Growing up, my sister used to get a lot of help from my mother with school assignments, because she wanted it and she asked for it. My sister and my mother would spend a lot of time together making sure that my sister’s schoolwork turned out well. Looking over spelling, fixing grammatical errors, making sure that the text was easy to read and had a flow to it. Normal parental stuff, really. Kids are supposed to get help from their parents, it’s part of the learning process, no-one gets by all on their own. Well, except for me. I never asked for help.
I actually found it really unbearable to have my mother look over my schoolwork to see if I made any errors. Not because I am such a horrid narcissist that I refuse to admit that there were any errors, but rather because… well, it felt invasive. Like as if you spot someone spying on you through your window. It made me feel very self-conscious, in a way that I realise now is similar to how I feel when I make eye contact. Yes, I am bad at making eye contact, especially when I am speaking at the same time. I don’t mind making eye contact when you are speaking, but I don’t want to make eye contact with you when I am speaking. Is that funny? Is that odd? Well, the way I feel about it is that eye contact is intimate, it’s almost like touching. It’s mental touching. If you share eye contact with somebody you are sharing a connection. You are mind-touching each other. Oh, well… I guess that maybe it’s not quite like that, but I still don’t find it easy.
At times, I find much of the discussions about neurodiversity online somewhat off-putting. Especially when it comes to those people who are really keen on being all out positive, all the time. Those people who see any shade of negativity as outright hazardous. Don’t bring up the fact that being neurodivergent can be difficult, don’t mention the difficulties that come with being on the autism spectrum. Engage with self-empowerment! Celebrate what makes you different! Go out there and be proud of yourself, be happy about your autism, it is cool to be autistic! And, sure, I understand the importance of injecting optimism into the neurodivergent community. We need optimism, we need to profess our desire to be happy, to show the world that you don’t need to be neurotypical to be content with your life. No-one wants to be around a sourpuss just wallowing in their discontentment. But, sometimes things just suck, okay? Having a positive attitude may project confidence, may make others think you’ve got it together, but be wary when that positive attitude just becomes a mask you hide behind.
Look, we live in a society. Whether you like it or not, you live in a society. We need to rage against this society, because this society is no good. Things may look good to some people, but those people are wrong, and I am right. I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore! Let’s have ourselves a little revolution and see if we can piece a new society together, one that doesn’t commit to the same mistakes as the last one. Oh, wait, how do we do that? And how do we make sure that we win the revolution, we could easily lose, and that might actually just make things worse for us. What if this society we live in got even worse? Yikes, that’s a thought too scary to even really consider. Can things get worse? I don’t want things to get worse. Maybe I just shouldn’t rock the boat. Let’s calm down, and let’s not make any rash decisions here. We can overthrow society at some other point. For now, let’s just have some tea.
Yes, society stinks, but what can you do about it? It is absolutely the case that neurotypical people have it easier navigating modern society than neurodivergent people. Others expect you to function just like they function. If you wish to fit in, you are required to act more neurotypical. People expect that from you. Learn to adapt, to hide amongst them. Trick them. Make them think you are one of them. Be the wolf in sheep’s clothing. They’ll never know the truth of who you are. An outsider that managed to get on the inside. You stand by the watercooler, and by gosh, you make yourself laugh at their jokes even though you’d rather not be there at all. You partake in the small talk, talking about the weather, feigning interest in the footballs, and pretending to be an all-around wholesome compatriot. You’re not at all secretly some kind of anti-social misfit, who’d rather stay at home sitting behind a monitor and playing strategy games on your own. Do you want to come and join your workmates for a drink or two later? Oh, yes, of course you’d like that, but you might need to limit your alcohol intake so that you don’t get too drunk and begin to let the mask slip. It’s too easy getting into hyper-specific rants about obscure topics no normal person would care about when you’re inebriated, so let’s not risk that.
“Be yourself.” Pfth, bah, humbug. Neurotypicals love to state empty platitudes. You don’t want me to be myself. You’ve made it very clear that you don’t want me to be myself. Call me a cynic all you want, but you can’t get nowhere in life simply by being yourself. For better or worse, authenticity is nowhere near as desired as some people make it out to be. Name a single really successful person who is truly themselves. Fake-authenticity does better than the real deal. True sincerity, of the kind that’s naked, shameless, ugly, and challenging, it is difficult to love. And that’s not all bad, it’s just a fact of life. We all need to cover some things about ourselves up, and need to keep some secrets, because that is what is expected from us. Just as we wear clothes to cover up our naked bodies. No shame on the nudists, they’re free to embrace whatever alternative lifestyle they want, but I don’t want to see your naked body. Don’t get nude in front of me. I already struggle with eye contact, I sure wouldn’t struggle less if you stood in front of me nude as well.
Actually, to a certain extent, these social rules we all conform to can actually be quite appreciated by those of us who are on the spectrum. It is easier to know what you must do in a formal social situation than in a casual social situation. Casual people, they’re just so… unpredictable. Sticking their casual bits everywhere, acting like guests at your house who don’t seem to understand that your home is not their home. Even as a kid I hated having friends of mine over at my place. They’d play with my toys, place my toys where they don’t belong, or even worse, they may break some of my toys. Don’t touch that, it’s mine. Don’t put your icky hands on my bed, I sleep there. Don’t rip pages out of that book, it’s my favourite book. Don’t breathe in my room, I breathe in my room. I just can’t handle you coming here and disturbing the peace. I had it all ordered, I knew where everything was, and I liked it. Now you brought with you the forces of chaos, and dealing with that is just now what I had in mind for today.
I could never be a freemason. Sure, I have some good ideas for how to secretly rule the world, but if you’re a freemason, you’re expected to be part of the team. There’s no “I” in freemasonry. The secret cabal that controls all of the world’s governments, they don’t want independent folks like me to show up thinking that I can do my work assignments on my own. The Illuminati is run by a committee. You don’t get far in that world by being some freewheeling bohemian incapable of getting along with others. You don’t establish a New World Order by promoting self-reliance. Institutions are great for those who like to get chummy with their pals, the gregarious sorts who know exactly who to talk to in order to advance in the ranks. You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours. Favours for favours. One of the reasons why I inherently distrust many institutions is because they are rife with nepotism. You know that whoever gets to sit on the high council of the Illuminati didn’t get there via competency alone. No, they knew a guy, who was cousins with this other guy, who used to work for this guy, and y’know, you pull one string and suddenly there you are on top of the social hierarchy. Most often people get promoted, not because they do good work, but because they happen to know the right people. But again, maybe I’m just being cynical.
I’ve had a recurring fantasy, in the past, of being a lighthouse keeper. Living out somewhere all on my own, not having to deal with any human relationships. Maybe I could befriend a seagull, but even that seems a little too much. Seagulls can be very needy. No, I’d just get on with whatever I’d most like to be doing, writing or making art, just enjoying my solitude. I imagine that the toughest thing about being a lighthouse keeper is the loneliness, but the loneliness is only a plus for me. I’ve long ago decided to like being lonely. I don’t want to face the fact that I too yearn for company, I like to pretend as if I am fine with being alone. So the fantasy of being a lighthouse keeper is perfect for me, I could get far away from society and I could earn a living not having to give a fuck about what others think about me. I could allow myself to get as weird as I would want to get, not having to wash my image, acting like I’m all rational and well-adjusted. It would just be me and my seagull. How simple life would be. Too bad I think most lighthouses are automated, these days.
Maybe being the perpetual malcontent cynic incapable of fitting with mainstream society isn’t all so bad. In some regards, I have made that my brand. Generally, I like to think that I don’t take myself too seriously, but like a lot of people, I’ve turned those edgier parts of my personality into armour that I wear to protect myself from the scorn of others. You can’t accuse me of being a miserable piece of shit when I’ve decided to make being a miserable piece of shit my thing. It’s what I am, and I am not going to change. I’m not really all that mean, or nasty. I am fairly cynical, but I don’t act like some asshole. I don’t think anyone is upset with me for how I act. I’ve only occasionally gotten told off for being too gloomy. But the problem here does not lie with how I end up treating others, but rather how I end up treating myself. I don’t want to make cynicism part of my sense of self. I don’t want to be this person, this misanthrope who only sees problems, and never celebrates the good things in life. I should engage with self-empowerment. I should be happy.
It’s okay being neurodivergent! Sure, you may find other people strange or foreign, with their yapping mouths and their over-eager desire to look you directly in the eyes, but just ignore them! Neurotypicals are just so last century, the future is all neurodivergent! You’re on the right side of history, bud! You’re cool, and radical, and you’re absolutely a sexy little cupcake. You either learn to love yourself, or you lose yourself. Make funny memes, find some online community to be a part of. You can absolutely be a freemason if you want to be a freemason. Don’t let your diagnosis get in your way, so long as you’ve got that inner fire driving you, you can be anything you want to be. Go ahead and rule the world, babe. Remember, what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, and right now, it’s good vibes only.
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clairebeauchampfan · 4 years
Text
NYT; wrongthink vs. groupthink
The resignation letter of Bari Weiss, an Op-Ed editor of the New York Times. My highlighting in bold. 
“It is with sadness that I write to tell you that I am resigning from The New York Times.
I joined the paper with gratitude and optimism three years ago. I was hired with the goal of bringing in voices that would not otherwise appear in your pages: first-time writers, centrists, conservatives and others who would not naturally think of The Times as their home. The reason for this effort was clear: The paper's failure to anticipate the outcome of the 2016 election meant that it didn't have a firm grasp of the country it covers. Dean Baquet and others have admitted as much on various occasions. The priority in Opinion was to help redress that critical shortcoming.
I was honored to be part of that effort, led by James Bennet. I am proud of my work as a writer and as an editor. Among those I helped bring to our pages: the Venezuelan dissident Wuilly Arteaga; the Iranian chess champion Dorsa Derakhshani; and the Hong Kong Christian democrat Derek Lam. Also: Ayaan Hirsi Ali, Masih Alinejad, Zaina Arafat, Elna Baker, Rachael Denhollander, Matti Friedman, Nick Gillespie, Heather Heying, Randall Kennedy, Julius Krein, Monica Lewinsky, Glenn Loury, Jesse Singal, Ali Soufan, Chloe Valdary, Thomas Chatterton Williams, Wesley Yang, and many others.
But the lessons that ought to have followed the election—lessons about the importance of understanding other Americans, the necessity of resisting tribalism, and the centrality of the free exchange of ideas to a democratic society—have not been learned. Instead, a new consensus has emerged in the press, but perhaps especially at this paper: that truth isn't a process of collective discovery, but an orthodoxy already known to an enlightened few whose job is to inform everyone else.
Twitter is not on the masthead of The New York Times. But Twitter has become its ultimate editor. As the ethics and mores of that platform have become those of the paper, the paper itself has increasingly become a kind of performance space. Stories are chosen and told in a way to satisfy the narrowest of audiences, rather than to allow a curious public to read about the world and then draw their own conclusions. I was always taught that journalists were charged with writing the first rough draft of history. Now, history itself is one more ephemeral thing molded to fit the needs of a predetermined narrative.
My own forays into Wrongthink have made me the subject of constant bullying by colleagues who disagree with my views. They have called me a Nazi and a racist; I have learned to brush off comments about how I'm 'writing about the Jews again.' Several colleagues perceived to be friendly with me were badgered by coworkers. My work and my character are openly demeaned on company-wide Slack channels where masthead editors regularly weigh in. There, some coworkers insist I need to be rooted out if this company is to be a truly 'inclusive' one, while others post ax emojis next to my name. Still other New York Times employees publicly smear me as a liar and a bigot on Twitter with no fear that harassing me will be met with appropriate action. They never are.
There are terms for all of this: unlawful discrimination, hostile work environment, and constructive discharge. I'm no legal expert. But I know that this is wrong.
I do not understand how you have allowed this kind of behavior to go on inside your company in full view of the paper's entire staff and the public. And I certainly can't square how you and other Times leaders have stood by while simultaneously praising me in private for my courage. Showing up for work as a centrist at an American newspaper should not require bravery.
Part of me wishes I could say that my experience was unique. But the truth is that intellectual curiosity—let alone risk-taking—is now a liability at The Times. Why edit something challenging to our readers, or write something bold only to go through the numbing process of making it ideologically kosher, when we can assure ourselves of job security (and clicks) by publishing our 4000th op-ed arguing that Donald Trump is a unique danger to the country and the world? And so self-censorship has become the norm.
What rules that remain at The Times are applied with extreme selectivity. If a person's ideology is in keeping with the new orthodoxy, they and their work remain unscrutinized. Everyone else lives in fear of the digital thunderdome. Online venom is excused so long as it is directed at the proper targets.
Op-eds that would have easily been published just two years ago would now get an editor or a writer in serious trouble, if not fired. If a piece is perceived as likely to inspire backlash internally or on social media, the editor or writer avoids pitching it. If she feels strongly enough to suggest it, she is quickly steered to safer ground. And if, every now and then, she succeeds in getting a piece published that does not explicitly promote progressive causes, it happens only after every line is carefully massaged, negotiated and caveated.
It took the paper two days and two jobs to say that the Tom Cotton op-ed 'fell short of our standards.' We attached an editor's note on a travel story about Jaffa shortly after it was published because it 'failed to touch on important aspects of Jaffa's makeup and its history.' But there is still none appended to Cheryl Strayed's fawning interview with the writer Alice Walker, a proud anti-Semite who believes in lizard Illuminati.
The paper of record is, more and more, the record of those living in a distant galaxy, one whose concerns are profoundly removed from the lives of most people. This is a galaxy in which, to choose just a few recent examples, the Soviet space program is lauded for its 'diversity'; the doxxing of teenagers in the name of justice is condoned; and the worst caste systems in human history includes the United States alongside Nazi Germany.
Even now, I am confident that most people at The Times do not hold these views. Yet they are cowed by those who do. Why? Perhaps because they believe the ultimate goal is righteous. Perhaps because they believe that they will be granted protection if they nod along as the coin of our realm—language—is degraded in service to an ever-shifting laundry list of right causes. Perhaps because there are millions of unemployed people in this country and they feel lucky to have a job in a contracting industry.
Or perhaps it is because they know that, nowadays, standing up for principle at the paper does not win plaudits. It puts a target on your back. Too wise to post on Slack, they write to me privately about the 'new McCarthyism' that has taken root at the paper of record.
All this bodes ill, especially for independent-minded young writers and editors paying close attention to what they'll have to do to advance in their careers. Rule One: Speak your mind at your own peril. Rule Two: Never risk commissioning a story that goes against the narrative. Rule Three: Never believe an editor or publisher who urges you to go against the grain. Eventually, the publisher will cave to the mob, the editor will get fired or reassigned, and you'll be hung out to dry.
For these young writers and editors, there is one consolation. As places like The Times and other once-great journalistic institutions betray their standards and lose sight of their principles, Americans still hunger for news that is accurate, opinions that are vital, and debate that is sincere. I hear from these people every day. 'An independent press is not a liberal ideal or a progressive ideal or a democratic ideal. It's an American ideal,' you said a few years ago. I couldn't agree more. America is a great country that deserves a great newspaper.
None of this means that some of the most talented journalists in the world don't still labor for this newspaper. They do, which is what makes the illiberal environment especially heartbreaking. I will be, as ever, a dedicated reader of their work. But I can no longer do the work that you brought me here to do—the work that Adolph Ochs described in that famous 1896 statement: 'to make of the columns of The New York Times a forum for the consideration of all questions of public importance, and to that end to invite intelligent discussion from all shades of opinion.'
Ochs's idea is one of the best I've encountered. And I've always comforted myself with the notion that the best ideas win out. But ideas cannot win on their own. They need a voice. They need a hearing. Above all, they must be backed by people willing to live by them.
Sincerely,
Bari “
It’s all there; the Left’s engrained anti-semitism (so often now cloaked by ‘respectable’ anti-Zionism), the refusal to admit of other opinions, let alone to acknowledge the possibility of  their validity, the narrowing of the mind, the cancel culture, the terror of the twitter storm and the mob in the street (”the people” as they like to call themselves) , the sheer spinelessness of the institutional ‘leadership’ unless it is in support of those people who have the ‘right’ opinions.   Sadly, exactly the same process is going on at The Guardian, the BBC and our once great universities. Only Illiberal Groupthink is allowed, and former bastions of liberalism close down independent thought, the better to signal their virtue. 
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Massive Affiliate Blueprint 1.0 Honest Review
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didanawisgi · 4 years
Text
Bari Weiss Resignation Letter from New York Times
Dear A.G.,
It is with sadness that I write to tell you that I am resigning from The New York Times.
I joined the paper with gratitude and optimism three years ago. I was hired with the goal of bringing in voices that would not otherwise appear in your pages: first-time writers, centrists, conservatives and others who would not naturally think of The Times as their home. The reason for this effort was clear: The paper’s failure to anticipate the outcome of the 2016 election meant that it didn’t have a firm grasp of the country it covers. Dean Baquet and others have admitted as much on various occasions. The priority in Opinion was to help redress that critical shortcoming.
I was honored to be part of that effort, led by James Bennet. I am proud of my work as a writer and as an editor. Among those I helped bring to our pages: the Venezuelan dissident Wuilly Arteaga; the Iranian chess champion Dorsa Derakhshani; and the Hong Kong Christian democrat Derek Lam. Also: Ayaan Hirsi Ali, Masih Alinejad, Zaina Arafat, Elna Baker, Rachael Denhollander, Matti Friedman, Nick Gillespie, Heather Heying, Randall Kennedy, Julius Krein, Monica Lewinsky, Glenn Loury, Jesse Singal, Ali Soufan, Chloe Valdary, Thomas Chatterton Williams, Wesley Yang, and many others.
But the lessons that ought to have followed the election—lessons about the importance of understanding other Americans, the necessity of resisting tribalism, and the centrality of the free exchange of ideas to a democratic society—have not been learned. Instead, a new consensus has emerged in the press, but perhaps especially at this paper: that truth isn’t a process of collective discovery, but an orthodoxy already known to an enlightened few whose job is to inform everyone else.
Twitter is not on the masthead of The New York Times. But Twitter has become its ultimate editor. As the ethics and mores of that platform have become those of the paper, the paper itself has increasingly become a kind of performance space. Stories are chosen and told in a way to satisfy the narrowest of audiences, rather than to allow a curious public to read about the world and then draw their own conclusions. I was always taught that journalists were charged with writing the first rough draft of history. Now, history itself is one more ephemeral thing molded to fit the needs of a predetermined narrative.
My own forays into Wrongthink have made me the subject of constant bullying by colleagues who disagree with my views. They have called me a Nazi and a racist; I have learned to brush off comments about how I’m “writing about the Jews again.” Several colleagues perceived to be friendly with me were badgered by coworkers. My work and my character are openly demeaned on company-wide Slack channels where masthead editors regularly weigh in. There, some coworkers insist I need to be rooted out if this company is to be a truly “inclusive” one, while others post ax emojis next to my name. Still other New York Times employees publicly smear me as a liar and a bigot on Twitter with no fear that harassing me will be met with appropriate action. They never are.
There are terms for all of this: unlawful discrimination, hostile work environment, and constructive discharge. I’m no legal expert. But I know that this is wrong.
I do not understand how you have allowed this kind of behavior to go on inside your company in full view of the paper’s entire staff and the public. And I certainly can’t square how you and other Times leaders have stood by while simultaneously praising me in private for my courage. Showing up for work as a centrist at an American newspaper should not require bravery.
Part of me wishes I could say that my experience was unique. But the truth is that intellectual curiosity—let alone risk-taking—is now a liability at The Times. Why edit something challenging to our readers, or write something bold only to go through the numbing process of making it ideologically kosher, when we can assure ourselves of job security (and clicks) by publishing our 4000th op-ed arguing that Donald Trump is a unique danger to the country and the world? And so self-censorship has become the norm.
What rules that remain at The Times are applied with extreme selectivity. If a person’s ideology is in keeping with the new orthodoxy, they and their work remain unscrutinized. Everyone else lives in fear of the digital thunderdome. Online venom is excused so long as it is directed at the proper targets.
Op-eds that would have easily been published just two years ago would now get an editor or a writer in serious trouble, if not fired. If a piece is perceived as likely to inspire backlash internally or on social media, the editor or writer avoids pitching it. If she feels strongly enough to suggest it, she is quickly steered to safer ground. And if, every now and then, she succeeds in getting a piece published that does not explicitly promote progressive causes, it happens only after every line is carefully massaged, negotiated and caveated.
It took the paper two days and two jobs to say that the Tom Cotton op-ed “fell short of our standards.” We attached an editor’s note on a travel story about Jaffa shortly after it was published because it “failed to touch on important aspects of Jaffa’s makeup and its history.” But there is still none appended to Cheryl Strayed’s fawning interview with the writer Alice Walker, a proud anti-Semite who believes in lizard Illuminati.
The paper of record is, more and more, the record of those living in a distant galaxy, one whose concerns are profoundly removed from the lives of most people. This is a galaxy in which, to choose just a few recent examples, the Soviet space program is lauded for its “diversity”; the doxxing of teenagers in the name of justice is condoned; and the worst caste systems in human history includes the United States alongside Nazi Germany.
Even now, I am confident that most people at The Times do not hold these views. Yet they are cowed by those who do. Why? Perhaps because they believe the ultimate goal is righteous. Perhaps because they believe that they will be granted protection if they nod along as the coin of our realm—language—is degraded in service to an ever-shifting laundry list of right causes. Perhaps because there are millions of unemployed people in this country and they feel lucky to have a job in a contracting industry.
Or perhaps it is because they know that, nowadays, standing up for principle at the paper does not win plaudits. It puts a target on your back. Too wise to post on Slack, they write to me privately about the “new McCarthyism” that has taken root at the paper of record.
All this bodes ill, especially for independent-minded young writers and editors paying close attention to what they’ll have to do to advance in their careers. Rule One: Speak your mind at your own peril. Rule Two: Never risk commissioning a story that goes against the narrative. Rule Three: Never believe an editor or publisher who urges you to go against the grain. Eventually, the publisher will cave to the mob, the editor will get fired or reassigned, and you’ll be hung out to dry.
For these young writers and editors, there is one consolation. As places like The Times and other once-great journalistic institutions betray their standards and lose sight of their principles, Americans still hunger for news that is accurate, opinions that are vital, and debate that is sincere. I hear from these people every day. “An independent press is not a liberal ideal or a progressive ideal or a democratic ideal. It’s an American ideal,” you said a few years ago. I couldn’t agree more. America is a great country that deserves a great newspaper.
None of this means that some of the most talented journalists in the world don’t still labor for this newspaper. They do, which is what makes the illiberal environment especially heartbreaking. I will be, as ever, a dedicated reader of their work. But I can no longer do the work that you brought me here to do—the work that Adolph Ochs described in that famous 1896 statement: “to make of the columns of The New York Times a forum for the consideration of all questions of public importance, and to that end to invite intelligent discussion from all shades of opinion.”
Ochs’s idea is one of the best I’ve encountered. And I’ve always comforted myself with the notion that the best ideas win out. But ideas cannot win on their own. They need a voice. They need a hearing. Above all, they must be backed by people willing to live by them.
Sincerely,
Bari
Source: https://www.bariweiss.com/resignation-letter
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illuminatiagentusa · 5 years
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johngavafan-blog · 5 years
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mykingspell · 5 years
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campchest7-blog · 5 years
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Do you know the Illuminati Membership rights Requirements?
For those that believe in the Illuminati and masons order and even may just want to know some basic specifications before subscribing to up, we will see how. However we need to communicate about this class referred to as the Illuminati, I'm definitely not sampling into whether it is actual or fake, or even whether or not they really do give riches or maybe not. I'll try to found the facts and let you decide on your own personal. What is this party? The Illuminati and freemasons is matching to many conspiracy theorists is a secret cult that believes in dominating the entire world, certainly not just the fact that they want to control everything that happens within the world, as outlined by them they are all above several areas of existence which include yet not limited to be able to politics, sports, enjoyment and others. This is so why they may afford to give would be preferred associates untold riches. Nonetheless can be this really the case? 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🔯 ABOUT ILLUMINATI 🔯
 The illuminati is a secret society that strives to promote spiritual and moral values.
  It was founded on the principles of love, justice, unity, freedom, peace and relief and achievement of goals.
To join the illuminati brotherhood, you must have to be initiated, registered under a lodge, and also you must need to get a serial code from the headquarters.
  The illuminati brings togetherness amongst people of good will and solidarity, regardless of their differences and backgrounds, it ensures that both men and women to become better in society.
  The Illuminati does not practice human killing or sacrifice, contrary to what many people thought or deceived about especially does fake agents impersonating us......
  "Its main goal is love, unity and freedom, freedom of happiness and satisfaction and desire to realize dreams faster.
  The Illuminati is NOT really a religious entity.  Its a global organization of great men and women with different ideas and religions.
 Illuminati is generally made up of 70% of world leaders, 85% of billionaires, 71% of billionaires, super-successful stars, 84% of the best soccer players in the world, 76% of the most successful individuals, lawyers, bankers, men and  most successful business women, and some popular pastors and prophets,
  belonging In the Illuminati family makes you blessed and exposed to success.
You are free to worship any God of your choice ... Nothing changes except the reality of your heart's desire to achieve unity and love for the fellowship that will come from this organization.
  "No matter how big this organization, we don't recruit or force anyone to join us because not everyone can join us and the association depends on their free will ... Our main goal is to make the world a better place and unite all leaders to have a leadership attitude to govern the world.
  ✅ To join us, you must start online and register by following some interesting steps and also getting your membership certificate that will help you get the physical certificate.
  WARNING⚠️!!  : IT'S A TEMPLE OF POSSIBILITIES AND TROUBLES
  IF YOU GO BEYOND YOUR SPECIFICATION AND IF YOU ARE A SPY, YOU SHOULD ALSO SEE THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOU BEING A SPY TOWARDS THE FAMILY
also, TALKING MORE ABOUT FINANCING MEMBERSHIP
TO note, The idiologies of joining the illuminati brotherhood to be rich/ famous and been asked to pay maybe a fee or the ability for you to finance your membership is some how funny but hence important.
First financing your membership shouldn't be a problem for you because first its shows a hundred seriousness for you wanting to belong to the family.
Secondly financing your membership doesn't mean what you may spend wun't be achieved back thus you have to know what ever you shall spend can't be compared with the benefits of this family .
Lastly financing your membership is a factor that grows up the faith and builds in some degree of seriousness in you hence once you invest some money in this you are very conscious of the membership process hence wun't be a problem to us because we know you are conscious with your decisions to the extent where you are willing to sponsor your self to the top.
This is just to open up your mind and be calm to uplift your self to another level. So even you had been duped(Scammed) before meeting us, or you never had faith in the previous experience, that shouldn't be the case here for its a hundred percent guaranteed membership
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The Reformist Tenet of The Cooperation For Divine Enlightenment
What follows is a short talk on a main regulation of the Partnership for Divine Light called "The Reformist Convention." The Reformist Teaching has three sections. The first is adjusted from the way of thinking of the Perfectibilists, who later came to be known as the Bavarian Illuminati. Perfectibilism is simply the possibility that one should awesome or herself in this life. This definition once in a while incorporates flawlessness of the spirit. Both the physical and otherworldly parts of an individual are of equivalent significance to the association. One should consummate the material to consummate the profound. This interaction is a type of otherworldly development; normally alluded to as self-awareness and advancement in brain science. 
Another term, "profound development," occurs over numerous lifetimes. In this sense, rebirth is viewed as a reality to individuals from the Association. This isn't valid for all Perfectibilists. Numerous Perfectibilists are satisfied with consummating their lives as it identifies with the actual world. This philosophy is sensible, yet isn't what the Association follows. 
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Profound development happens when one intentionally takes steps to better oneself. This is the quintessence of Perfectibilism. It is an interaction of improving. The Perfectibilist is continually trying to develop each insight. This is a ceaseless cycle. The ideal state won't ever be reached. If we somehow happened to arrive at flawlessness, we would be no more. The Perfectibilist realizes that flawlessness exists at the time. All things ought to be acknowledged as they are. Nonetheless, all things can be improved. That is the flawlessness oddity. 
Through each progressive lifetime, a human spirit will be given freedoms for profound development. These are the tests and difficulties we should defeat to advance. These difficulties are just encounters to which we give meaning. We call a portion of these encounters "botches." This is the place where the second piece of the principle comes into the image. The Cooperation doesn't perceive encounters as slip-ups. More than that, the Cooperation doesn't really accept that one ought to be "rebuffed" for acts considered unsuitable by society. On account of hoodlums, a guilty party ought to be shown moral conduct. This isn't a get out prison free pass. It is perceived that a guilty party might should be taken out from society in the event that the person is a threat to other people. This should just proceed until the wrongdoer's conduct is remedied. Repression is a bothersome technique for conduct adjustment. 
Karma is certainly not a perceived way of thinking of the Cooperation. Nor is interminable punishment. Normal outcomes ought not be mistaken for these convictions. The Partnership fights it isn't gainful for one to accept the person will be rebuffed in their next life for alleged sins submitted in the current manifestation. This thought doesn't fit profound development. It just keeps one settled in sensations of blame. Blame burns-through one's being. Nonetheless, blame can assist us with seeing the mistake of our methodologies. This allows us the opportunity to improve. 
The third piece of the tenet is trustworthiness. Trustworthiness is crucial for a Perfectibilist. Trustworthiness is the way to individual and profound development. An individual of solid respectability can beat what we see as adverse encounters. This is the "decently well" segment, since one is required to do their best consistently. On the off chance that one misses the mark concerning their trustworthiness, the person is should endeavor to improve.
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