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lovrodney · 6 years

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Zelo - Never Going to Change

This is for Anon! Thank you for waiting this long for this scenario! I hope that you enjoy it! I loved writing this story since there was so much to it haha I think this came out to about 12 pages haha (sorry not sorry). Happy reading!

Request: Could you do a Zelo from B.A.P where he finds out your pregnant but you didn't want him to know because you weren't sure on how he would react? Although, after he finds out he doesn't tell you and just waits a few months. Then after those few months where your stomach was obvious he then tells you he wants to keep and take care of the baby? Hope this makes sense, by the way I love your blog!

Sunlight cast through the sheer curtains, catching the morning breeze the fresh air brushed throughout the room, kissing the exposed skin peeking out from underneath the ivory linens jostled between the intertwined bodies underneath. Crisp air tickled your arm as another breeze swept through the room. Tucking your arm back underneath the light sheet over the top of you, your arms folded between you and your boyfriend, warming up the once exposed skin. Sleeping a little longer, you slowly pulled yourself out of your dreams. Waking up to your boyfriends arms tightly wrapped around you while his head pressed into the ivory pillow, you couldn’t help but smile as your fingertips ran across his bare chest.

Thoughts slowly invaded your dream clouded mind, your eyes moved over your boyfriend, following your eyes across his sharp jawline, around the curved shell of his ear. His visible cheekbones lead to his nose smushed against the pillow, his pink lips parted as a soft breath slipped from his parted lips. Lifting your eyes, his ebony eyelashes fanned out across his slightly rose colored cheeks. Brushing your fingers absentmindedly across his collarbones, your fingers traveled up his neck danced across his cheek before your fingers ran through his bed ridden hair. In an attempt to clear your mind, you continued to play with his hair while relaxing your forehead against his. Closing your eyes, you allowed the world to slip away for a moment as you lost yourself in the love that you had for your boyfriend.

“You know you’re just gonna put me back to sleep if you keep doing that” His morning voice softly broke the silence as your fingers twisted a small section of his hair around two or three of your fingers.

“You’re so cute when you sleep though” You whispered softly, allowing your eyes to flicker open to meet his brown orbs.

“But I would rather spend my time with my eyes open” He widened his eyes an extreme amount, earning a giggle to spill from your lips.

“What about your dreams, I know that you like to dream” Your fingers fell down from his hair, brushed across his temple before your hand lightly rested against his cheek.

“Why would I need dreams when I am sleeping when I have you right next to me?” His voice caused shivers to run up your spine as his soft touch danced across the small of your back, “You are all of the dreams that I could ever wish to have and more.”

Shaking your head, you couldn’t help but smile for a few seconds before your eyes dropped and your smile faded, “You know I am going to miss you when you are away for a few months right?”

“You’re not the only one who is going to be missing someone” Your touch slowly dropped back to press against his chest. His hand gently untangled from around you as his fingers gently slid across your cheek until he was able to tilt your head upwards slightly to press his lips against your forehead.

Wrapping your arms around him tightly, you tucked your head underneath his chin as you felt the familiar sting of tears swell in your eyes. Your breathing halted for a moment as his arms tightened around you. “You know the flight doesn’t leave til later, do you want to go have a fun day?

“What do you have in mind?” You questioned, a tightening in your chest caused from the anticipation of him leaving later today caught up with you.

“You’ll see, go get into something comfortable” His sweet smile curled on his lips as you lifted your eyes to meet with his again. Untangling his arms from around you, he carefully pushed himself upright as the pure covers bunched around his waist.

Sinking into the open space on the bed, you watched his muscles adjust underneath his skin as he pushed himself up off of the bed. His hand rubbing his eyes while his feet shuffled into the attached bathroom. Closing the door behind him, he slipped into the shower before styling his hair and dressing for the day. Opening the door just a crack, he carefully peered out from behind the door as he took a second to see you engulfed under all of the white covers stacked on top of you. A smile curled onto his lips as he closed the door behind him, gathering his belongings from your place, he began to pack for this evening’s departure.

Pulling a note out of his bag, he slowly pulled the drawers out to find the best place to put the note, for you to find it at a later date. Drawer after drawer, he combed through the contents packing what was his as he straightened what was yours. Opening one of the last draws, he saw a white stick peeking out from the back corner of the drawer. Placing the note in the drawer, his fingers moved over to the out of place object. Wrapping his fingers around the stick like object, his eyes examined it thoroughly as his eyes spotted a band name printed on the handle while two pink lines peered within a window on the object. Freezing for a moment, he turned around as his hands ran through his hair, looking up and over at the closed bathroom door as his full attention turned to you.

Returning the white stick in the drawer, he removed his letter and closed the drawer. Finding another drawer to stash his letter, he zipped up his toiletry bag and opened the bathroom door. Humming softly, he placed the smaller bag in his luggage before zipping the suitcases closed. Rolling them out to the front door, a driver was there waiting for his luggage. Thanking the driver, he helped load his luggage into the car before returning inside.

On his way back to the shared bedroom, he stashed the rest of his handwritten notes around your apartment, placing them in spots of various use so that you could find them throughout his leave. Wandering around your apartment once more, he moseyed over to the mantle where he was reminded of the couple pictures that the two of you took throughout your relationship. Making his way back to the shared bedroom, he moseyed over to your sleeping figure as his eyes softened with the newfound knowledge that you were pregnant. Rounding the bed, he eased himself down beside you. Pulling out his phone, he snapped a quick picture wanting to remember moments like these while he is away.

“Have I ever told you that you get more stunning every day that I see you?” He whispered, tucking some fallen strands of hair behind your ear.

“And you are more handsome than I ever thought I deserved” You whispered in reply, your eyes fluttering open as you just smiled up at him.

“Nope, you deserve all of this and more” He replied as he bopped your nose with his index finger. Reaching up, you wrapped your hand around his neck lightly as you pulled him down, meeting your lips with his.

“Will this do for our adventures today?” You jumped out from behind the bedroom door in skinny jeans, a comfortable cream colored knit sweater, black boots that capped just below your knee.

“I suppose” His teasing tone sung throughout the house as he watched you as you approached, your hair flowing from being freshly combed as your light makeup was the perfect topper to your daily outfit. Holding out his hand for you, you skipped up to him and slipped your hand into his. Running out the door, the two of you were welcomed by the rays of the sun kissing your freshly washed car.

“Can I drive?” Holding out his hand, the two of you approached the car as you handed over the keys to your car. Unlocking the doors, he opened your door for you as you slid into the passenger seat, he rounded the hood of the car with a joyful trot before he opened his door and slid behind the wheel. Starting the engine the two of you headed off as you played some favorite mutual tunes, the two of you singing happily to the melodies and harmonies.

Stopping at your favorite ice cream stand, the two of you laughed as you tried to eat the melting ice cream faster than one another. Trotting down the store fronts, you showed off your style as you pointed to things you liked through the windows. The hours continued to tick by, faster than desired. Slipping back into the car as the late afternoon fell upon the two of you.

Miles dragged on as the two of you happily followed the curves of the semi desolate roads. The crisp fall air kissing the leaves falling from the trees, covering the roads as the engine happily roared between the tree lined road.

Your fingers were interlocked with his as your eyes peered through the window, seeing the coastline below, the tree lined road happily curved through the mountains. Slowing the car down, he slowly pulled off into an overlook parking lot. The emptied gravel parking lot welcomed them as he parked the car, turning off the engine, his eyes drifted over to you as he lifted up his intertwined hand with yours, twisting the joined hands slightly, he pressed his lips against the back of your hand as a smile curled on your lips as he allowed his lips to linger against your skin.

“You know that I love you, right?” He whispered once his lips pulled away from your flawless skin

:”I do and I love you more” You smiled as his words seemed to calm the thoughts on the back of your mind.

“I doubt that” He chuckled as he pulled the keys from the ignition. Opening his door, he exited happily as you pushed open your own door. Standing outside your door, he pressed a button on his phone as a slow song began to play.

“Can I have this dance, to our song?” Offering you his hand, you happily slid your hand into his as a smile curled on your lips. Spinning you around as the shadow of the two of you happily cast over the gravel below.

Following the flow of the song, he increased the complexity of the dance as the song continued to reach the climax, bringing you back into his arms as the song slowly came to a close, the dancing morphed into a sway. Your head rested on his shoulder as his hand cradled your back and held you close while his head rested on yours. Placing soft kisses against the crown of your head, the song came to a close and faded off into the sound of nature that surrounded the two of you.

As the song faded, his sway dwindled down to the two of you just standing there in each others arms. Peering across the lapping ocean against the jagged rock shore below, the light mist occasionally drifted up to where the two of you were standing. Descending in the sky, the sun slowly made its exit from the day. Vibrant oranges, reds and yellows painted across the sky before the navy blues and blacks slowly layered themselves over the bright colors.

“You know that I love you right?” He whispered against your hair as he tightened his arms around you, one of his hands slowly rubbing your back as he lifted his head from yours.

Raising your head from up off of his chest, you peered up at him with your eyes twinkling brighter than the stars overhead, “I do. I love you too, my Zelo.”

A sweet smile curled on his lips as one of his hands lifted up to your cheek as the backs of his fingers brushed against your soft skin. Leaning into his touch, your eyes fluttered closed as you couldn’t help but fall in love with him all over again.

“I’m never going to leave you, no matter what the future has in store for us. We are a team and we are in this together. Deal?” Zelo brought your closer to him as your fingers tangled in the fabric of his shirt as your mind slowly began to wander, knowing that the time you had left with him before he left was dwindling.

“Deal” You whispered, you nodding your head trying to convince him and you of what you were saying.

“Everything will be okay” He whispered as his fingers spread across your cheek, “You’re still the best thing that has ever happened to me and that is something that is never going to change.”

Seeing the disbelief coat over your eyes, he leaned down and gently pressed his lips on yours. Pulling yourself closer to him, you felt your knees go slightly weak as you wanted to tell him before he left. Yet, you didn’t want to cloud his mind or give him this burden to bear before he leaves for the next few months. Pushing the pressure to tell him to the back of your mind, feeling his warm, comforting and loving lips on yours allowed the world and all of your worries to ebb away. Slowly allowing your lips to dance with his.

Pulling away, the two of you had smiles on your parted lips as his forehead rested against yours.

“It will go faster than you think” Zelo whispered into the quiet night sky as the stars twinkled overhead.

“I hope your right” You whispered back as he stood up straight knowing that he had to leave.

“Don’t worry, we are stronger than this” With his words of encouragement, he laced his fingers with yours, he slowly walked with you back to the car.

Opening the door for you, he watched you slide into the passenger seat. Taking in every detail of you, he closed the door before rounding the hood of the car, opening his door and sliding behind the wheel. Glancing over at you, his eyes lingered on your dropped head, your rounded shoulders and your fingers playing with the promise ring hugging your thumb. Leaning over, he pulled the seatbelt over you, buckling you in, he flattened the strap across your stomach. Leaving your cheek with a kiss, he buckled himself in before starting the car. Seeing your fingers twist the ring faster around your finger, he reached over and rested his hand over your worried hands.

“Everything okay?” He whispered as the silent cab filled with his voice.

“I don’t want you to leave…” You paused, a tear rolling down your cheek, “... but I know you have to.”

“I know” His voice softened with kindness and understanding, “This is only temporary, it isn’t going to be like this forever.”

“Okay” Your whisper joined his as you nodded your head, his words sinking into your heart. Lacing your fingers with his, your two hands held his as his thumb brushed over your fingers slowly.

---

Pulling under the fluorescent lights of the underground parking garage of the airport. Pulling the car right up against the curb, he parked the car as you knew that this was goodbye. Unbuckling yourself, he did the same before he held your hand tighter. Catching your attention, he lifted your conjoined hands up to his perfect lips, his eyes kept contact with yours as the lingering kiss told more than words ever could.

“I love you” You whispered, the tightening in your chest became hard to ignore.

“I love you too, so so so much” Zelo whispered taking in the moment.

After a moment or two, the two of you parted hands and stepped out of your car. Closing the doors to your car, the valet grabbed the suitcases from the trunk that he had packed in the trunk while you were getting ready for the day. Standing on the edge of the curb, the members huddled by the door as Zelo got called over. Trotting up to the group, they began to laugh and fill one another in with the travel plans as you stood on the edge of the curb. Shifting your weight from one foot to the other, you clasped your hands and began to spin the promise ring around your finger once more.

After a few minutes, Zelo glanced over his shoulder to see you standing there all alone while tears dropped on the toes of your shoes. Turning around, he carefully approached you as his arms wrapped around you and pulled you back into his chest. Feeling tears sting his eyes, he heard all of the guys grab their bags as he just held you tighter.

“I’ll come back as soon as I can.” Zelo whispered as you just nodded knowing that you couldn’t speak in this moment. “I love you so much, my beautiful girl.”

More tears began to fall as you couldn’t help but hold him closer. Tightening his arms around you for one last time he kissed the crown of your head before he placed his hands over yours and slowly pulled you away from him.

“This is just temporary” He whispered as you watched him walk away from you slowly. Turning around and then trotting to catch up with the group, restraining from balling, the restraint was now broken as you leaned back against your car and just allowed your eyes to release all of the tears that you had been keeping in for the past couple of days.

The group of guys slowly left your view as you slowly snapped back into reality with a few delayed blinks. Turning around, you rounded the hood of your car before your hand slipped around the door handle and pulled the door open. Sliding behind the wheel, you slid the key into the ignition as the engine. The engine purred as you pulled the seat belt over yourself. Shifting the car into gear, you pulled out into traffic and slowly exited the airport. Rolling your finger over the volume button, the music softly floated throughout the cab.

Leaning your arm against the top of the door interior, the cool glass pressed against your skin as you rested your head against your closed fist. Mindlessly driving down the highway, tears dripped from your eyes and carved their wet path down your cheeks.

Eventually pulling into an emptied parking space at your place, darkness began overtaking the sunlight as dusk fell upon you while you exited your car. Grabbing your purse, you lifted the strap onto your shoulder as you closed the door of your car and locked it while heading inside.

The jingling of your keys echoed into the emptied home as you pushed open the front door. Peering into the dark interior, you couldn’t help but think that just this morning the two of you were laughing between these walls and within twenty-four hours the two of you wouldn’t be in the same country. More tears slipped from your eyes as you closed the front door behind you. Placing your purse and keys on the counter top, you embraced the ghostly feeling within your home as you shuffled to your bedroom. Kicking off your shoes, you dressed down into comfy yoga pants, rifling through possible options for a shirt, you stumbled upon one of his t shirts with the sleeves cut off creating a tank top. Slipping that over your head, you allowed the fabric to fall over your torso as the cologne of Zelo washed over you.

Dropping your head, you cleaned up your scattered clothes from the days in an attempt to keep you busy in order to keep your mind off of missing him. Hours passed as you had cleaned the whole apartment. Settling down on the couch, you allowed a Netflix series to play as you laid on the couch with a blanket, that he gifted to you, tucked underneath your chin while the rest laid carefully over your body.

Pulling out your phone after a few episodes, darkness crept over every inch of your apartment. Touching your phone, light pushed away from the darkness as a picture of Zelo remained on your lock and home screen. Opening up the gallery of pictures on your phone, you couldn’t help but thumb through your favorites of him and you. Tears slowly trailed down your dried cheeks as your hand rested on your stomach.

“I should have told you before you left…” You whispered to yourself as you grasped the fabric of his shirt over your stomach. “Zelo… you’re gonna be a daddy…”

Hearing those words spill from your lips, you lips trembled as your tears cascaded down your cheeks. Tears accompanied you that night as you drifted to sleep into a lonely and empty sleep.

The next morning came as you slowly woke up, convincing yourself to take a nice long shower, you headed into the bathroom as a note rested up against the mirror. Curiously reaching out, you pulled the enveloped note off of its resting place as your thumb brushed up underneath the flap. Tearing apart the adhesive, you lifted a tri folded paper from the envelope. Straightening out the paper between your fingers, your eyes read your name that the letter was addressed to.

_________,

I just wanted to remind you that you are beautiful. I know that you try to impress me with your various hair styles, your palates of makeup and accessories. But I find you beautiful when I wake up to you, sleeping beauty. I find you beautiful when you take a bite of food and then laugh at one of my jokes. I find you beautiful when you are on the couch and under the weather, all curled up under a blanket and running a hot fever. I find you beautiful when your hair blows in your face from me rolling down the windows on our long drives. I find you beautiful when you are you. To me, no matter what you do, you are always beautiful

Forever yours,

Tears filled your eyes as you read the cute note that he had lovingly handwritten for you. Going on with your days, the days turned into weeks and weeks into months as you discover note after note. Highlighting various aspects about you that he loved, found cute, charming or just wanted to remind you of.

The reminders were much needed as you couldn’t help but wish that he was beside you as the symptoms of pregnancy began to consume you with the months that passed.

One day, you sat on your bed, with all of the notes that you had collected scattered out around you. Your eyes scanned over the first sentence of each.

I just wanted to remind you that you are beautiful.

I let you choose the movies on our date night so that you can cuddle closer to me underneath our blanket.

Don’t forget to go out and look at the stars so you can see what I do when I peer into your eyes.

I know things are hard right now and I can’t talk much and it feels like I am more distant than ever with you but I promise that no matter where I am in the world, you are my world.

I love it when I come home and hear your music through the front door as you are dancing in the living room without a care in the world.

I love it when we can’t sleep and I twirl you around the living room, with or without music.

Having you in my arms is where I truly feel like I belong and where I call home.

Tears continued to fill your eyes until your phone chimed beside you. Opening the newly received text message, your eyes read over the message quickly before you grabbed your things and trotted out the door. Sliding behind the wheel, you pulled the seatbelt around you as you clicked it into place. Resting your hand on your baby bump, you took a deep breath as your hand lovingly rubbed your rounded stomach.

“It’s time to go meet daddy at the airport” You whispered before starting the engine and heading to the airport. Your hand rested on your stomach as you drove as thoughts raced through your mind. A kick came from within you as it hit your hand bringing you out of your thoughts, a smile curled on your lips as you shook your head at the little one knowing that he or she is more like Zelo than you had thought.

Pulling down your visor you reviewed your reflection as you saw your lightly curled hair, your large knit sweater hanging over your figure while a simple but elegant gold necklace drooped and tapped the top of your rounded stomach. Jeans outfit your legs as tan boots matched the color of your sweater.

Exiting the car, you closed the door behind you as you walked across the parking lot into the terminal. Finding the right airline and then the right returning gate, you nervously stood there as fangirls with posters welcomed the members back too. Standing towards the back of the crowd, you heard the sound of the screams get louder as the members slowly exited the tunnel. Strutting down the tunnel of fangirls, the members passed you with a smile. Greeting them warmly, you watched Zelo come out among one of the last members.

Watching his eyes search for something, or someone, your heart skipped in your chest as it pounded against your rib cage. Setting his eyes on you, he rounded the metal barrier as he held out his hand for you to take.

“Care to walk with me, gorgeous?” Zelo’s eyes twinkled as you nodded, sliding your hand into his to answer his request.

The fangirls screams ebbed away as the two of you continued to walk further away from the crowds. Your fingers intertwined with his as you glanced over at him as he covered his face with sunglasses, your eyes dropped to his black leather jacket with red leather sleeves. His black cuffs contrasted against your cream sweater as his graphic tee underneath added a pop of color while his black skinny jeans allowed the outfit to flow down to his shoes that spotlighted all of his colors within his outfit.

Your eyes sayed down as you continued to walk, your eyes resting on your baby bump as your hand wanted to go towards the bump to try and hide it. Pulling down on your long sweater, you felt Zelo squeeze your hand gently as he slowed down.

“Everything okay?” He whispered as he moved his lips against the shell of your ear. Just nodding your head, you watched as the members loaded into the van. Pulling away from you, he gave you a soft warm smile before pressing his lips against your temple lovingly. Turning away from you, he outreached his hand to tap the managers shoulder.

The manager looked over his shoulder as he nodded his head to their prearranged request, “Don’t forget your bags.”

“Thanks manager-nim” Zelo bowed as the baggers had already pulled his luggage from being packed into the back of the van. A bagger followed the two of you as the two of you waved at the van as they pulled out.

Passing by the lined rows of cars, you brushed your thumb against his fingers as your mind began to race. Knowing that you had to tell him, you wondered if he had any idea of the new that you had yet to tell him. Running your tongue across your lips lightly

Approaching the car, you unlocked the doors and popped the trunk as the bagger placed the suitcases and duffles into the trunk of the car. Zelo detached his hand from yours as he went over to help the bagger. Once everything fit snugly into the trunk, he closed the hatchback before thanking the bagger. Bowing to one another, you watched the young bagger head back to his post.

Turning your eyes back to Zelo, you caught his eyes already locked on you. Taking a moment to bask with being in your presence, he shuffled over to the passenger side door and pulled it open. Smiling at his gentleman gesture, you pressed a kiss on his cheek before you slid into your seat. Closing the door behind you, he rounded the car and slid into his seat behind the wheel. Pulling out of the airport, he laced his hand with yours as you couldn’t take your eyes off of his profile while he was occupied driving.

“You sure everything is okay?” Zelo chuckled feeling the presence of your eyes on him.

“Mhmmm” You hummed, “I am just glad to have you back” Your voice began to crack towards the end as the volume of your voice tapered off.

Lifting your intertwined hands up to his lips, the warmth of his lips pressed against the back of your hand as he continued to drive.

“You don’t know how good it was to see you” Zelo confessed as your intertwined hands descended and rested on your thigh.

“I have an idea...” You told him as you wrapped your arm around his, cuddling his arm, your head rested against his shoulder as his scent swept over you. Calming your racing heart, you took a deep breath and let it out being content.

Zelo glanced down at you as he couldn’t help but smile as he finally saw you relax slightly. Turning on some light music for the background the two of you enjoyed the company of one another on the drive back to your home.

The sun dropped in the sky as bright colors painted across the horizon as Zelo pulled into an emptied parking space at your home. Allowing his eyes to scan your body wrapped around his arm, he brushed some hair behind your ear before the backs of his fingers brushed against your cheek. The soft touch was enough to wake you from your light sleep as you looked up at him.

“Shall we go inside and do some proper cuddling?” Zelo chuckled, a bright smile curling on his lips

“Yes, please” Your sleepy voice whispered as he beamed brighter hearing your manners.

Untangling yourself from one another, the two of you exited the car as Zelo grabbed the only bag he needed for the night. With your hand in his, the two of you scaled up a few flights of stairs to the apartment door. Opening the door with ease, he pushed the door open for you to walk in first. Stepping through you heard him walk through as well, closing the front door behind him quietly. Dropping his bag on the ground, you began to turn around as his arms wrapped around you and pulled you against him.

Your eyes closed in his embrace as your arms snaked under his jacket and wrapped around his torso. Knowing that you were in the safety of your home, you allowed your walls to come down just for him. Stepping closer to him, he held you tighter as his head nuzzled into the crook of your neck. Dropping his hands down your back, his fingers spread slightly as you began to worry once more as his hands wandered down to your mid to lower back.

“Zelo…” You whispered softly as you felt your hands retracting from him to rest on his sides.

“Yes sweetheart?” He whispered back, loosening his grip on you slightly. Lifting your eyes, you peered into his brown orbs as he continued to hold you tightly. Pausing a moment, you felt the baby move inside of you and with a kick, Zelo snapped his eyes down to his abdomen where something had kicked him.

“The baby wanted to welcome you home too... “ You gave him a soft smile as his grip released on you, his hands moved to your hips as your hands rested on your baby bump.

“How has the little one been doing?” He questioned with a smile as he cautiously placed his hand on your stomach.

“W-Wait… you k-k-knew?” You questioned thinking that he would have taken it differently

The nodding of his head told all, “Before I left I was stashing my notes for you and I found your pregnancy test. I wanted to tell you but I didn’t know if you were ready to tell me or not. I wanted to respect your timing to tell me.”

“S-S-So you are okay with this?” You stammered still in shock

“Of course I am, we are a team and I couldn’t stop thinking about you or the baby when I was on tour” He whispered, lifting up one of his hands, he carefully cradled your cheek as he pressed his lips on your forehead. Emotions washed over you as you pulled yourself back into his chest, your fingers tangled in the fabric of his t shirt as relief washed over you. Holding you tightly against him, he kissed the crown of your head before whispering:

“_______, I love you and that is something that is never going to change. Now, we just have a little one to love too.”

#lovrodney #lovrodney scenarios #zelo scenarios #bap zelo #bap scenarios #kpop scenarios #zelo #b.a.p. scenarios #b.a.p. zelo #b.a.p. imagines #daddy scenario #angst #fluff

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meetmitsui · 6 years

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Congratulations, 2017 Survivor!

The best part about 2017 is that you gave it your best shot. 😌👌🏼 Yes, tables turned. Plot twists happened; LIFE happened. 🙂 Reaching breakthroughs nearly broke you, stepping off your comfort zone felt almost like the worst idea, letting go of certain things barely had you moving forward, but guess what? You’re still here, alive and ready to conquer the next decade. You’re still here reading this post along with the rest of the year-in reviews on social media. This however, is not a #2017bestnine post, sorry. 😅😂✌🏻 Perhaps more like a proud congratulatory message from an ordinary human being who survived the year of seeding and reaping just like you did. 😎👍🏻#thuglife For some reason, 2017 was indeed a year of absolute crunch if not for all, maybe for the most of us. Let me walk you through this year’s highlights. From a forex trader’s perspective, the Brexit event welcomed the year with a crash on the British Pound. This sent trading charts on disarray until almost half of Q3. Also, Trump happened... need I mention what kind of Trump actually happened? Oh yeah, tensions on war here (China), tensions on war there (North Korea), tensions on war everywhere. Anyway, so the Federal Reserve also hiked interest rates 3 times this year; enough to send the dollar to Mars. But then again, Trump happened in between (ha ha ha, but may Trump supporters take no offense) and as Janet Yellen said before she left office, the fundamentals are supportive of growth and increasing rates is still appropriate. Oil prices hit new highs and boy, of course, #bitcoin... BITCOIN made history! 🤯💸 I’ve never considered it as an investment, but well it’s a highlight yesteryear so let me give credit to where it’s due. Congratulations to those who made profits or earned valuable lessons from the heavy market waves, and all the best to your 2018 investment journeys! 🙌🏻 Meanwhile, Juan de la Cruz could be crying out “Why can’t we let the yearend event pass without a single record of damage from typhoons?!”. Urduha, Vinta, you guys happy now? Well, that’s just the tail of a long list of highlights from every Filipino citizen’s 2017 diary. Why? Well, starting today we ought to be watching our hard-earned cash flush down the drain for the new tax schedules. Too negative in context, sorry but I just really hope the government’s “Build, build, build” program would be implemented as presented to the trusting (even in blind sight) public. If the program delivers (in the next five years) then I’ll wholeheartedly salute this administration. Ikaw na bahala sa pera namin, Tatay Digong! 😅 Moreover, this year we almost lost our life-changing tech advancements. I’m talking about Grab and Uber, but I’m just happy you managed to settle issues and stay in business. At least you can still keep helping Pinoys in their daily exodus (of commuting) and you can still keep saving lives from the wonderful world of random, choosy, abusive, unpredictably unsafe cab drivers. Well done, Grab & Uber! We didn’t lose you, however we lost Angkas & Wunder Carpool just like we lost someone’s hand when MRT messed up once out of the countless times it messed up this year. So let’s take this moment to reminisce our escapes from traffic (with Angkas) and our environmentally friendly acts (with Wunder Carpool, while eliminating the number of cars in the streets and their carbon emissions)... R.I.P. Angkas and Wunder Carpool App 😔 Let’s not forget the nationwide teleseryes we’ve actually casted in without us knowing. Mocha Uson’s role stood out as she escalated (way too) quickly from being an icon of fake news to being an epitome of dedication in service to Filipinos (specially when she entered law school). But still, let’s give her a chance, we’ll never know how much things can change for her and the (fake or not) news she’s had the power to infuse in our unsuspecting minds, sarcasm aside. One other plot in our nationwide teleserye also picked sizable interest from the public. Remember the sensational pre-debut shoot in the Malacanang Palace? Of course you do, that’s the latest twist. I wonder how the story ends though. 🤔 The war against drugs is still on, but only the branches of the glorious tree (of gods and masterminds) have been shut down. The carriers of the drug biz could be out, but its origin persists. And this question also persists: is the battle truly for the purpose of eliminating narco politics in the country or just for the purpose of silencing gnawers to the business? Oh well, let’s see. 🤧 On the brighter side, Filipinos became more educated and aggressive in terms of investments. The PSEi made multiple all-time highs and settled above 8,500 in the last trading hour. I hope that our willingness to explore the local and global markets continue to grow and that we’ll still feel empowered despite an increase in tax for passive investments. Mehehehe... amazing pahabol for the year ahh. I like your style, PH gov’t. Well, who doesn’t, right? 🤣 Congratulations, my fellow Filipinos who cared enough to feel the frustrations and handle the crazy political roller coaster. Congratulations for having no choice, but to deal with adversities like we always will. #thuglife Congratulations for having the courage to post your views on social media despite huge chances of your issues being left diverted and unaddressed by the stupefying government officials. Uso pa rin naman ang welga, galit lang talaga tayo sa dakilang traffic... soooo nah! 🤗😶😂 Now enough on politics. Inhale optimism, and breathe out these words: “Thank you government of the people, for the people and by the people. Well done!” *slow clap* 👌🏼 Now if there’s anything more sensational this year, that’s your love life. Yes, your love life. It’s that piece of needle that made you feel excruciating pain at one point this year, and that thread that sewed you back together when everything fell in perfect bliss. Well, let me not dwell on this too much, because we’re not ending this novel with everyone’s love stories. 😅 Congratulations, strong and independent humans for knowing your worth and not settling for less. Congratulations, f*ck boys and girls for playing too well this year you might actually have caught yourself STD. Sorry not sorry. 😏 And of course, congratulations to those who started and finished 2017 on their own (like completely “single”). Your third wheeling skills are remarkable! 😂🙌🏻✌🏻🍻#ForeverAlone 🙃 Highlights from the world’s iconic couples though? Single, taken, married, or whatever, we all felt that heartbreak on #Brangelina ‘s split (Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt). Don’t tell me you didn’t twitch on that painful news. Oh well, at least “Jelena” (Justin Bieber & Selena Gomez) are back together before yearend, coining each other as their one true love. #MayForever na ba to? News just two hours ago revealed, Selena’s been calling JB, “my husband”. Boom!! And oh, Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth got engaged, while Kylie Jenner got preggy. 🤭 Meanwhile, from the locale, #JaDine was a highlight for allowing the battle of morales to surface among conservative Filipinos. “Come on guys, it’s 2017.” he he he. 🤷🏻‍♀️ But really, let me take this moment to shed one last tear of joy for all the “It girls” getting wedded this year, even including the mother-of-the-It-girls, Dr. Vicky Belo-Kho. #WeddingGoals emerged from this parade of love, and I can’t wait for all of them to spread lovely genes across the planet. 😂🤗 Solenn and Nico, ano na?! Hahaha! Kayo talaga hinihintay ko eh! El Patato 🐢 deserves cute company 👶🏻 ! JK! Oh, I just love this pair! Anyhow, for some time my newsfeed’s been filled with wedding-related posts of friends. In fact, I was a bridesmaid for a time so yeah, 2017 was a year of love after all. 😍Congratulations to those who tied the knots this year! All the best wishes!🍾 From the social arena, we’ve seen depression take its toll on a massive scale this year though some thinkers disvalue its existence. Hi, Tito Joey! Sorry, but depression does exist. We’ve seen people fighting against bullying and racism to name a few, and people working towards advocacies on gender equality. The battles have been tough. In fact, we have casualties. Chris Cornell of Soundgarden & Black Hole, Chester Bennington of Linkin Park, and Kim Jonghyun of K-pop group SHINee, are iconic names we’ve lost to suicide with depression being the key cause. One that triggered sadness most in me though is with Nadine Lustre’s brother where she coined #KeepGoing . The series of suicidal deaths allowed me to write the song “I Owe You”, and I hope I never get to finish it. 😔 Hello, survivors of this reaping world! Congratulations for never giving up! Congratulations for taking it all in, for standing up for what is right, for challenging yourself everyday, for battling with your personal demons and for pushing yourself to #KeepGoing . You may not be proud of yourself just yet, but God is proud of you and He will always be. 😉 Moving on, the more trivial things. Quite a number of words were added to the Filipino dictionary (unofficial but widely used) 🧐 such as “petmalu”, “lodi, & “werpa”. Vice Ganda even made a song out of these words. And speaking of songs, “Baby Shark” was almost this year’s favorite along with “Despacito”. 😅 Congratulations to all of us for enjoying 2017 with simple pleasures amidst the chaos! We truly are Filipinos for this trait. We smile amidst the storms, stand up and move forward. But really, take no offense, I’m sure we can do better than what we’ve done this year. Our creativity and love for novelty could translate to creativity for the bigger things this 2018. I am certain of this, and sure that we can attend to the issues that really matter. We need not be superstars or high profile personalities to change our bad habits that collectively destroy the world, socially, economically or environmentally. We need not be superheroes from films we’ve watched this year. No need to be part of the “Avengers” to save someone from bullying. No need to be part of “Justice League” to hear out anyone who’s close to committing suicide. No need to be “Wonder Woman” to look at humanity with hope amidst all the chaos. No need to be the big guy, because no matter how minute we are compared to this huge planet, our actions still create the Earth as our home. And what do we do to build a “home”? We build and connect our little realities. Let’s create better realities this 2018, so that next time we can congratulate ourselves for being co-creators of a better world. 🌍🌻 Too abstract I know, but well congratulations for letting that thought sink in for awhile. Congratulations for closing the year stronger than when you started. Congratulations for making it this far. Congratulations for surviving 2017! Now, get ready for a grander year. Hello, 2018! 💪🏻😎👌🏼 P.S. Congratulations for finishing this lengthy piece. hahaha! I hope you found value in it.😂

#new year #happy new year #2018

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jennifuryz · 4 years

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And Just as Life Was Getting Back to Normal…

April 4, 2020

Again, I have spent almost another year without writing. 2019 had its ups and downs. In July we drove down to the vacation house Hubby bought in New Mexico. It is a cute little place. I like how the backyard is surrounded by a tall fence. Hubby and my younger son drove the van and stayed for three weeks. I drove my older son and the dogs and we stayed for a week. It was an interesting trip. Hubby and my younger son love the desert but my older son and I prefer the green forests and farmlands of the Midwest.

BFF1 was supposed to visit the week after I got back. We made all kinds of plans and even scheduled a day to meet up with BFF3 and my High School Best Friend. But three days before the trip BFF1 called me and told me she had to cancel. She thought she might have cancer and was waiting to hear the results. I told BFF3 and HSBF that we needed to cancel. Then I contacted them again to see if we could go ahead and get together anyway. I felt I could use a distraction. Well, they both bailed out on me. I have not seen either of them since. I am not angry with them (although I probably should be,) I just got tired of setting myself up for disappointments.

The good news is BFF1 did not have cancer, but it took almost THREE fucking weeks for her to get the results. Three weeks is a VERY long time when you are worried and stressed and waiting for news. It pretty much destroyed the rest of the summer.

We did get some good news at the end of August. BFF2 and his wife had a healthy baby boy on my younger son’s birthday.

Fall was actually pretty good for the most part. BFF1 was having a difficult time with her job so I was not able to go visit her. I hate it when I have to go more than a year without seeing her. The weather was not that great, we had a lot of rain, but we had a few nice days. My older son is now a senior and my younger son is now a sophomore—and a jock. He decided to go out for cross country and being involved in sports has really been good for him. He still slacks off in school, but has been getting into far less trouble. We did spend a few Saturdays driving to see his cross country meets and I really enjoyed that. One time his meet was in one of the cities I grew up in. The city is halfway between where we live and where my parents live so they drove down and met us at the meet. I also managed to get ahold of a friend of mine who still lives there and we got to meet up. It was the first time we had seen each other in 35 years. I also drove around town and visited places I remembered. I took some pictures of the house I lived in.

For Halloween we had nine trick or treaters. Last year we hit our record of ten, but eight of them were my sons’ friends that all showed up at once. This year my sons did not go trick or treating, so the nine that showed up this year we genuine. Maybe word is getting out that we give out bags of assorted candy and full size candy bars.

My 94 year-old grandmother had been living in an apartment near my parents, but her dementia was getting worse so they moved her into assisted living in my city. The place is only 17 minutes from me so I visited her often. But then she fell and broke her hip and had to spend two weeks in the hospital and another month in a rehabilitation center. My parents spent most of November staying with us so they could check on her daily. My brother also got home from working in Antarctica. He stayed with us for a while, then found an apartment.

My 2002 Volkswagen finally died. I knew it was on its last wheels and had been saving up for a new car. I only had about half the money saved up and had to take out a loan, but I did get a 2018 Honda Fit. It is cute and has great mileage. It is bright yellow, but I think that is kind of neat. It is easy to find in the parking lot. It doesn’t have a CD player, which is a real problem, but it has a better radio and I am able to pick up a new alternative station that plays good music.

I also applied to renew my teaching license in September. It is much easier to get a license now than it used to be. I am sure that the fact that the state has gone from trying to get rid of teachers to desperately needing teachers plays a part. I did have to wait two months to get my license. In the meantime, I took an online class on what is new in children’s literature.

I hosted Thanksgiving this year, although not very many of my out-of-town relatives made it. After cross country ended my son decided to go out for wrestling. The day before Thanksgiving he got hurt at practice. His opponent fell on him and broke both bones in his forearm. He spent the rest of the day in the hospital, had to wear a cast for six weeks, and was not able to go skiing—which he lives for!

I was determined to have a great Christmas this year. Christmas of 2017 wasn’t very good because my mother-in-law had just died and Christmas of 2018 was full of disappointments and stressers. So I was determined to make this Christmas great. I did not get to do all the things I wanted, I never did find a box of decorations that went missing, we did not get any snow and the tree farm where we used to get our tree closed right after Thanksgiving. But I did get a lot of shopping done, bought a real tree at a stand, decorated the house like crazy and did quite a bit of baking.

In January I started applying for substitute teaching, but it took several weeks before I got registered for the job website, found three references, collected three letters of recommendation, went to interviews, took the online classes, and got all the medical requirements filled. I cut back on my caregiver hours and arranged to sub on Wednesdays and Fridays. I finally got to sub in early March, even though it was only half a day and I subbed for a paraeducator working one on one with students with special needs. But it really felt natural for me to be working in a school again and I was really excited about finally getting my life back together.

And then the worst tragedy to hit the world in a century struck.

Corona Virus. COVID-19. When I first heard about it, I thought it might be a concern, just as SARS, H1N1, and Ebola had been, but I never imagined it would get this serious.

I had just started substitute teaching when the schools closed. Then I feel guilty, as if I jinxed the world by almost getting my life back together. Logically, I know that is impossible. My career plans could not have caused a virus to mutate on the other side of the world. But my life plans are not important right now. People all over the world are dying! Life as we know it is getting messed up. Evil idiots are harassing and attacking people of Asian descent just because the virus first struck a city in China!

I know it is probably only a matter of time before someone I love gets struck. BFF1 and one of my cousins have been sick, but do not know if it is Covid. They did not get too sick and are both doing much better. They are still staying quarantined for the full 14 days, though.

My older son is not having problems with the isolation. He now has permission to do what he always does—sit in his room and play video games. My younger son is not doing so well. He had to cancel his spring break trip to go to New Mexico and going skiing in the mountains. At first he said the closings and isolations were stupid and overreacting. He changed his mind when they closed the schools. But we had a big fight when we told him he could not have friends over. Usually the boys have friends coming and going all the time. They don’t bother to knock anymore, they just come in. On weekends it is normal for me to come downstairs and find half a dozen teenage boys sleeping on the floors, chairs and couches. My younger son is hard to keep track of since he is always wandering off with friends. But now everyone stays home. My son was just about to start track and field, but that is off (although he still wants me to buy him new track shoes.)

For the first week of isolation, I pretty much slept a lot and watched TV. I know I should be cleaning the house and doing projects, but cannot motivate myself to do anything. Some of my clients at my caregiver job cancelled until this is over. I told my supervisors that since I will not be able to do any substitute teaching I am available to fill in for other people. They asked if I could work every day for a week with someone who just got out of the hospital (not from Corona.) I said sure. I thought it was just for a week, but now they want to keep me. I am only working three hours a day, but it is still a long drive and kind of a stressful client. Then I feel guilty thinking about all the medical workers who are working 13 hour days trying to save the lives of Covid-infected people without enough supplies. My husband is on my case because if I make too much money I could lose my disability pay. True, I really hoped that this year I would be able to get off disability and be able to work full time and support myself again, but if schools stay closed I don’t know how that will happen. Then I feel guilty thinking about all the people who are unable to work and don’t get any financial support.

I feel the same way I did eight years ago when I lost my job. I keep thinking this is all a nightmare and soon I will wake up and things will be back to normal.

April, oh what is the date? Oh, the 18th. I cannot keep track of dates anymore.

Since I started writing this post, my older son turned 18, I turned 51, and the world is turning for the worse. I kept on working until last Wednesday, when I woke up feeling extremely tired and achy. I made myself get up and clean the litter boxes and take the garbage out and felt light headed and short of breath. Needless to say I called into work. So far I never developed a fever or a cough and am feeling better than I did a few days ago. But I am scheduled to stay off work for two weeks and am quarantining myself in the house and keeping a distance from my family. I have no idea if this is Covid or some other bug or maybe even just stress related. But I am not taking any chances. I am even avoiding touching the cats. I read that cats and ferrets are susceptible to Covid (although we no longer have any ferrets.) So far it looks like dogs are safe, so I am letting the dogs sit on me while I watch television.

For Easter I did one last Easter Egg treasure hunt for my sons. This time I had a theme based on The Office. Then we made a big “Happy Easter” sign and drove over to where my grandmother lives so she could see it out of her window. Her building has been closed to visitors since early March, but someone in the building still got Covid, so now the residents are not allowed to leave their rooms. When my grandmother was about five or six, the UK had a Scarlet Fever epidemic that killed a lot of children. My grandmother got sick and had to be quarantined in the hospital for six weeks. She had to sleep in a crib and they shaved everyone’s head and they were not allowed any visitors. Her parents would go to the hospital and wave to her from outside through the window. Now, some 88-89 years later, the same thing is happening again.

Oh, BFF1 and my cousin are both better. But my husband’s cousin in New York City is sick, and it is Corona. He experienced the loss of sense of smell.

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