#i cant choose im crying

[alonsynah]

"if you're going to be the face of controversy, might as well make that face damn pretty!"

Enter Mitchell Reid Knightley; lead vocalist of the alternative punk band Roundtable Riot, Enter inevitable tension. With a reputation for excess, dubious first impressions, and a rocky past with Soft Violence's Seven Lawless, Knightley will undoubtedly add intrigue to this season's Battle of the Bands.

introducing my mc by drawing them alongside the other gorgeous frontmen of @infamous-if !!!! this game literally killed my burnout omg im obsessed

#every romantic option in this game is too fuckin sexy yall #i cant choose im crying #mitch uses he/they pronouns!! #will inevitably draw the rest too of fuckin course #especially Sebastian like #bro #infamous if #infamous game #infamous mc #seven lawless #interactive fiction #interactive game #my art

[pothospant]

his default recall is so cool..........

#not me arts tag #ive never used his default skin so i didnt even know what it looked like until now....ough #i wish u could mix and match sounds or recalls with skins................ #i honestly forget half the time hes supposed to be like. Cool and Suave and a Competent Badass #because my brain is always like. god hes so small and floppy and will die if you breathe on him wrong #also hes always crying and breathing heavily in my ear so im just like. poor guy #he should be at the bed taking a nap not fighting....... who made him fight.... stop that he doesnt belong on the battle field #he might be a badass hitman or smth but my brain is like #this is just a sad theatre kid who took gymnastics #''aphelios how is your assassin training going'' aphelios who has only been reading the acrobatics textbook: my what #is there anyone still reading these tags. hi there #i have a lot of thoughts on him. im very obsessed with his animations #like he has a laugh animation for every weapon....... #all the various weapon animations... #maybe the real reason we wont have a legendary for 10 more years is all the animating they have to do #i mean his base animations are so good id honest be like OK if they reused them #cant rly do much better than already Top Tier animations #unless we get an alune legendary..... #hope alune is super awesome and badass and all the aphelios voicelines are a really shy awkward guy or smth #like you look so cool and awesome fighting and the whole world doesnt know ur listening to a lil guy in your brain the whole game #the contrast would be very funny methinks #if anyones still reading this. yes i know riot made up some reason about budget or whatever for voices #but i choose to believe aphelios is head empty no thoughts and thats why he doesnt talk to alune #(STILL GOOFY OF A REASON... lots of VAs can do both genders of voices.... like. what about kindred and kayn....) #then again wouldnt be surprised if they were overbudget on the animations but still smh my head into oblivion #can relate to a guy who simply doesnt wanna talk #(said after 10000 tags of talking to myself) #i should really put my thoughts onto a separate post or blog or something #anyways have i mentioned i think hes really cute

[pepsitwist]

the big brother took over

#obsessed w this honestly.... #theyre everything... matt crawling and clawing his way over to put himself in harms way to protect nick #even when he gets kicked he keeps hold of the ropes to try to make sure penta cant get to nick #god i love when he gets protective of his lil bro. crying sobbing screaming wailing about it #like in the match kenny was clearly abt to go out but matt ended up saving nick first #bc of course he did. no matter what the bucks will always choose each other first. even when it comes to kenny #'the bucks should feud w each other' NO THE FUCK THEY SHOULD NOT!!! LOOK AT THIS!!!! #IM NOTLOSING THIS!!!! #matt jackson #nick jackson #young bucks #the young bucks #self indulgent content #blood tw #tw blood

[imsadstuff]

tw self harm and depression

as someone who's struggled with depression, self harm and a sick parent I know I can't help.

amygdala mv made me cry instantly because I felt so supported and seen, but also remind me of the pain I've been through.

#havent stopped crying #i cant rewarch this mv im sorry #but also so proud of yoongi talking about his trauma and hoping people feel comforted but it because we do #im just so happy he made out of all this pain and chooses to be kind #because it isnt so easy to be kind to yourself on some days #bts #suga #agust d #amygdala

[coridallasmultipass]

Just wanna remind everyone that it's NEVER okay to tell someone to die.

You don't know how hard they're fighting to stay alive every day. Or if they don't even want to fight for that any more.

#i hate that i let that get to me lmao just ruined my fucking day ive been sitting here sobbing for like an hour #i cant tell anyone just how much i dont even want to try any more bc i dont see the point #medical issues and mental issues dont pair well and i dunno if im even gonna be able to survive the next flare up #i dont need fandom spaces telling me to die when im already telling myself that every fucking day #also why does my age always get brought up lmao i didnt choose to be born 30 years ago stop telling me im old #my body has been telling me im old since age 11 you dont know what ive fucking been thru #30 was just a formality and serves as another reminder of how ill never meet societys expectations for a 30yo lmao #my point is. you should try showing a little more kindness if telling someone to die comes so easily #ive literally never once told anyone to die in my life. you just dont fucking go there. what if they kill themself right after that? #can you live knowing they did so on your command? #i couldnt #thats just like beyond fucked up #anyway im gonna go try and stop crying #ill prob stay off tumblr today idk i feel real sick lol #delete later / / #i hate that i cant exist as myself either in person (too queer and closeted in a rural area) or online (too queer and weird ships) #anyway

[i-want-docmartens]

thinking about how no matter how much I detach and grow past someone, everyone who ive ever shown vulnerability too will always have that memory if they choose to use it

I can't take my vulnerability back home with me, I can't take it out of your hands

#ever again #even if you choose at times to forget me at my tender moments i cant ever take back crying in your arms #or telling you everything #or anything #i cant take back the years i trusted u #and thats so scary #lol im so silly lets get me a psychiatrist

[aropride]

one thing i just do not fucking get is the difference between "regulating emotions" and "suppressing emotions" i cannot get my head around how those are different. like if im sad and then i go "well im not going to be sad anymore" that's "dissociating" and "suppressing healthy emotions" but if im sad and im like "well im going to cry until i actually pass out" that's "not healthy" and it's BAD to suppress emotions but it's ALSO BAD to get super upset so WHAT IS THE SECRET THIRD THING cuz i do not fucking get it. "feel your feelings But not that way that's not healthy feel your feelings but less than that" ???????

#text #IT'S DRIVING ME UP A WALL IVE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT FOR MOTNHS #LIKE????? is it like. like is this a me problem is this just me having feelings that are too big #like do other people just.. like for other people does 'feel your feelings' just mean like. feel sad for a while and then stop. cuz i cant #do that i dont get normal sad i get chest pain and think about killing my self for hours on end .is that the problem #like okay if i trip down the stairs and break my leg. im going to cry and go to the hospital. suppressing that would be just using my #broken leg anyway and ignoring it. would regulating it not also be Crying and going to the hospital. would regulating it be like.. putting #a bandaid on it or something is it like.. a middle ground . i do not fucking get it #like okay if i trip down the stairs and i scrape my knee and then i call an ambulance i see how thats not the right response . and i guess #regulating there would be like. calming down thinking things thru and choosing a less drastic solution like a bandaid. i get it #in that situation. but if ive ACTUALLY BROKEN MY LEG. then that would just be the first thing again essentially #but when i put that back into. real world not metaphor world. like. i dont get it again #because if theres not like. an obvious reason for however i feel how am i supposed to judge if im calling an ambulance for a scraped knee #ALSO I THOUGHT THERE 'ARENT ANY WRONG EMOTIONS' WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THAT -_- #okay no okay it's like. if i trip down the stairs and i skin my knee i dont have to call an ambulance. but if several times a day i fall d #down the stairs and skin my knee in that exact spot and now i can see bone. SHOULD I NOT CALL AN AMBULANCE? #cuz its not just one thing thats upsetting me most of the time it's a combination of a bunch of things and then like one extra upsetting #thing added on top of that. which would necessitate an ambulance. does this make sense #THIS IS GETTING ME NOWHERE IM STILL JUST AS CONFUSED AS I WAS BEFORE I STARTED TYPING. i need 2 remember 2 ask my therapist #what the fuck ''feel your feelings'' means and how it can coexist with ''regulating feelings'' or whatever cuz i feel like im missing smth #NIK OUT ! PEACE ! ✌️

[mkaugust]

MOONCHASER by @fuckboyregulus

Everyone come admire how beautiful my favorites are!! Come witness their love!!

#moonchaser #james potter #remus lupin #SO BEAUTIFUL #im crying i love them so much #ZOOM IN #NEW GAME: guess my favorite tattoo of James' in the notes! #and my favorite piercing of Remus'! #SO MANY to choose from!!!! #AHHHHH IM JUST screAMing SO MUCH #i love it so much i cant handle

[cimicherrychanga]

btw u guys have to promise to not be mad at me for becoming ur turtle mutual. please

#shut up dave #IM LIKE. NOT NORMAL ABOUT THEM. AND THIS MEANS A LOT TO ME #i nEED a special interest to consume my every waking thought in order to thrive #and after i grew out of homestuck its like i lost my spark its EXCRUCIATING. #what do you MEAN i cant draw 3 comics and 2 full piecesn write 50 page essay in one day every day if im not insane abt some piece of fictio #outrageous!!!!! #and as much as i wish i could. i cant Choose or induce this thats not how it weorks we all know this #i TRIED to make miraculous my next big thing after hs it did not work!!! im still insane abt it! but its the #watching trrailers frame by frame making longass analyses and tracking down the exact car in one scene type of insane. #sure ive made art n comics its still one of the things i was and am more invested in than about 60-something of my other media interests #but GOD then rottmnt hit me full speed. i am FEELING this one. i made art AND the characters i was scared would be impossible to draw #turned out to be. so easy? like i did a great splinter first try and thats HUGE for me usually my first attempts suck #until i develop a personal touch for their design #the style of the show is just sososo good for me. theyre my best friends now. and i INTEND to make that clear to EVERYONE #bc im still feelin lonely!!! despite everything!! and i dont want to!!!!!!!!! and im making it everyone elses problem!!!! #anyways like as i said. ur not allowed to be mad at me. please please. ive always been annoying this is just a new arc #and u have to put up wirh it. or ill cry. thanks.

[the-kipsabian]

.

#the thing about being so bad at writing is that when you also do it very irregularly about shit nobody else cares about #you drive yourself into a hole where absolutely nothing motivates you cause nobody misses your fics #also ive been made to feel bad lately about choosing fic writing over drawing so its. been a really fucking bad brain time #idk. i dont feel like a contributing member of the fandom. like it doesnt matter at all what i do i dont provide anything of any value #i hate it here and once again im just. sad and done but im useless with anything so what does it matter and who cares #its so hard to explain. i just dont feel like im doing anything meaningful #and i know thats not an actual indicator of the quality of my work but. try telling my garbage brain these two things arent related lmao #sorry im just. im just useless. i dont just feel that i know i am. with anything i cant do just piling up and the list getting longer i jus #maybe i should finally give up writing too. would make thinking about everything so much easier. nobody would miss it #and nobody can convince me otherwise about that #im gonna go cry in my cocoa now goodbye #night is an absolute mess on main

[pearlpool]

hm.

#been feeling very irritable and negative lately to the point where ive been catching myself getting really frustrated with my dear friends #like i just saw something a friend said and i literally went 'oh my god who gives a fuck' out loud under my breath #and i feel incredibly guilty about it #choosing to blame academia but it literally makes me wanna cry. like i feel like a terrible person and friend #and before you ask. yes i ate yes i had a full nights sleep yes i left my room today yes im drinking water #and its still happening #idk i just cant stop complaining and feeling so DONE with everyone #i just. really thought i was getting better :/ #oh well. i guess #ugh i just. UGH last night i talked so much shit about truly one of my closest friends. and its like okay they kinda deserved it #because what they did was shitty #but im literally perpetuating my own worst fear. which is being secretly disliked by those closest to me #:((( AGH. #diary

[widgits]

bethany... do you know you’re my special princess

from @villainanders da2 lyctor au

#my art #da2 #dragon age 2 #dragon age #bethany hawke #the locked tomb #tlt #okay so listen #in my brain the hawkes are third house because of their mom with malcolm maybe being a cohort soldier who died #or whatever hes not important to me rn #which makes me want to throw up and cry!!! #because it does mean i cant use the red/gold design #decided to choose the blue one as her 'canon' design #but know im always thinking about the red and gold #n ee ways #i also like fourth house hawkes because of their general everything #but idk... third house so strange and offputting and wild! shes my bestie <3

[puzzlekinq]

cant sleep because im seething with anger

#been laying here for like 40 minutes fantasizing about finally snapping and telling my mom everything i really think and feel #if i ever came out to her she would end up cutting me off like she did to my aunts and uncles and cousins #basically im alone and my parents and siblings are the only family i can be in contact with right now and its isolating #off topic but yeah #i miss having a big family and people besides my parents that i could rely on. people i felt like i could actually breathe around #idk. whatever #why do i feel responsible for her actions all the time. its been my job to keep her stable and listen to her vent for years #but i never say anything about my own feelings. because she would make me feel stupid and ridicule me. lol #all she does is make me feel like shit most of the time. shes always in a bad mood and shes always whining and always pessimistic #and yeah i get along with her for the most part but lately her attitude has been weighing on me a lot. i cant criticize or disagree with her #because she'll just get mad. shes always been an angry person. thats why i hardly spoke to her from ages 10-15 #maybe i jsut wanted to give her another chance. maybe i felt sympathy for her. shes had it rough her whole life #but when shes still bitter no matter how many times i comfort her and let her vent and cry to me and when she chooses her husband over me #every single time he fucks up (which is like. constantly) and always takes his side when they inevitably make up after a huge fight #it feels like i'll never be able to make her happy. it feels like i should stop trying. if she wants to be full of hatred #and have a shitty husband then fine. i cant fix her like and i cant hold the weight of her mistakes #*life

[collar-shocked]

About... All that.

//Putting it out there on record, literally everything I've ever made or written for BTD/BTD2/TPOF has been for me, and the community. Gatobob has been such a miniscule figure in her own community that half the time I forgot who even made the thing.

//The fans keep this place afloat. We built this. We added our own character adaptions, we wrote our own stories, we made our own little nests, and we slept in them like babies.

//I'm choosing to stay, not because I don't care about what she's done or who she's hurt, but because I'm not letting a bad exhibit ruin the entire museum. I don't care if you feel you need to distance yourself, do whatever's right for you, and do it unapologetically. Take good care of yourselves. But the people I've met here, the characters I've found comfort in, and the outstanding sense of mutual understanding for the macabre is just too important for me to back away from right now. This is the only space I haven't felt ashamed of myself in for my disturbing interests, and I'm sure it's the same way for so many people.

//I'm so sorry this had to happen at all. (Please read tags, it just doesn't feel right including them in the main post for some reason?)

#//I know its annoying when people say separate the art from the artist but this has literally never been easier #//Gato hardly contributes to ANYTHING the fandom does when compared to what we've built on our own #//And I'll be damned if I let one more lousy creator ruin such a good thing #//but i couldnt say Nothing?... #//it felt like ignoring it. which im not. i dont WANT to. i didnt wanna continue like nothing happened #//but im afraid i cant NOT continue. #//ive had a good cry over it. ive come to terms with it #ooc #Screamo-Mun #//im so scared i'll be demonized for some reason #//this should be a logical process of thought but for some reason im still scared #//please dont think im turning a blind eye #//im just choosing to be a LITTLE selfish this once #//im tired of letting people ruin shit for me #//and im sorry if this reads brash or bold or whatever im just really upset atm

[beescomet]

Me reading the ending of the fic I wrote

(It's not the official ending,,,,yet)

#im sorry in advance if i end up choosing this ending #im crying alr #its still so far away tho i cant believe in already thinking of this 😭😭 #all good things must come to an end ig

[satuurnos]

I HATE ONLINE CLASSES WHY AM I PAYING TO GO TO UNI ONLY TO BE OFFERED ONLINE CLASSES

#not to mention i would never ever ever choose an online class for myself !! never but i have to bc they dont offer any other option for the #class i need to literally be able to graduate #they're so hard to keep up with and i just feel like crying in this one class i hate it i hate it so much AGHHHHHHHHH #im so tired im so tired im so so so tired of this and missing assignments because i cant keep up with them and the way the stupid program #my school uses doesnt help i hate itttt