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corleylexi · 1 year

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so a thing i like to do is tell stories through a playlist. i recently worked on one and it’s short but i think it’s done. idk for sure the first one i ever did has been modified since it was “done” so i’m sure i’ll keep going but for now i’m just enjoying this lil story and damn it’s good. wish i could share it w someone tho. so instead i’m making a post about it.

it will be a long one…

the hardest goodbye

Promise Me (Acoustic) - Badflower

Only Love - Badflower

right where you left me - Taylor Swift

champagne problems - Taylor Swift

Midnight Rain - Taylor Swift

Bigger Than The Whole Sky - Taylor Swift

*** if you have never heard these songs before (and you’re actually reading this and give a 💩) listen to the playlist before reading on (: ***

ik what you may be thinkin; that’s only two artists what kinda playlist is this?? but that’s actually intentional. josh is the voice of character a and taylor is the voice of character b (and in my mind they also play the characters). some context: josh’s character is wildly imaginative and quite emotional as well. the story starts w his pov - but he’s a completely unreliable narrator (we all are really and so are these characters). what you can gather from his two songs are that he’s in love w taylor’s character (obvs). but the first impression you get is he’s talkin about someone he’s loved his whole life (which he has) who has died (which is what he feels like). these characters are the ones who’s moms were best friends so they grew up as best friends and as they got older they got closer. they went away to college together fell in love it was beautiful it was comfortable it was happy.

‘promise me’ is character a asking character b to stay with him til death. she refuses. he feels the separation like it’s a death. he wanted them to stay young and stay together and go home to live the rest of their lives just like the beginning. she wants something else.

“We're getting old now (they’ve graduated college it’s time for them to move on to the next chapter)

But I don't feel it (A feels like there’s no question where his life goes next. he’s known his whole life he wanted his life w B he’s always imagined)

I say you're beautiful (I mean it’s a given)

And I still mean it (A has always loved B)

And I don't wanna know (A doesn’t want any other life than the one he’s seen for himself)

What old age feels like (he believes together they will always feel like this)

So promise me you won't (A is asking B to commit to their life together)

Give up on this life (this life as in the life he imagines they’ll have together - it’s important to remember this song and his pov is filtered completely through his emotions and imagination)

And we'll be busy tryin'

While the rest of them are dyin'

Promise me we'll never grow up

I don't wanna let go

I wanna stay young

And even when the wrinkles show up

We'll be laughing, and

We can play forever

Don't make me face the truth

I think it's obvious

That we'll stay happy

'Cause I'm the happiest

When you smile at me

And we won't end the same

A broken family

I'll never walk away

Without you with me

And times are getting harder

But I'm nothing like my father

Promise me we'll never grow up

I don't wanna fall out

I wanna make love

And even when we can't, so what?

We're together, and

Happy ever after

Don't make me face the truth

That I'm dying soon

That we're dying

Don't say goodbye (he compares death to the end of the life he imagined so it’s less a literal death of either character and more like the dream has died)

We're so much older...

All I want is one more life with you (he wants to keep the life he thought he’d have with her)

When did we get so old?

Why'd you get so sick? (not ill but he feels like she’s “sick of their relationship” bc he can’t imagine a reason for wanting anything else)

And how could you die? (how could she not want that life too?)

You promised me you'd never grow up

Now I have to let go

God, I miss you so much

And even when your heart gave out (he believes she lost love for him and that’s why she would want a life other than the one he dreamed of)

I was thinkin' how

I won't say goodbye

You promised me you'd never grow up

But you fucking grew up (she wants something else in life than what he’s imagined)

God, I miss you so much

And even when your heart gave out

I was thinkin' I'd

Love you 'til forever

And I can't face the truth

That I died with you

That you lied (we can assume from here he doesn’t believe he had any reason to think she would want something else)

You died (they broke up - again we still only have few actual details of the story)”

only love explores the way he feels in the aftermath and some time following the break up. he’s reflecting on the way he felt during the relationship and the pain he’s in since. we even get a glimpse of how it’s affecting his life as he tries to cope with and mourn the loss of the life he thought he’d have.

“Calm down, I'm okay, it's only heartbreak

Don't scheme, just mourn

The cold nights in our bed when you'd steal the blankets

I'd let you sleep warm

It's only love

It's not like I'm missing part of me

It's only love

It's heartbreak and I'm in recovery

Your eyes are better than my favorite song

I'm addicted and I'm possessive

This is no ordinary love

Calm down, breathe in

I feel like I'm dying

I miss you, come home

But it's only love

It's not like she's bleeding out of me

It's only love

I'm not dying, I'm in recovery

But I won't get better

I'm not letting go

I will be right here where you left me

Losing my home again

A life without my friend

Who I depend on, oh-oh

She's everything to me

The best I had, the worst mistake

I'm all fucked up and I'm not okay

Even my therapist said, "To hell with this"

I'm not healing

I'm dying, write me off

I'm stuttering, I'm high on drugs

Loser, lonely

It's only love

These wrist cuts won't bleed it out of me

It's only love

I'm not dying, but I'm in recovery

I won't get better, I'm not moving on

I'm the same way now that you left me

This is no ordinary love”

gotdamn that hurts.

the slight pause represents time passing and the pov shifting

right where you left me shows how B feels similarly to A after the breakup in that it felt like time stopping, life ending. character B is the storyteller of the two, so we get more details from her pov but it is still filtered through her feelings. in right where you left me, she plays the victim almost - not exactly but she’s also not entirely taking responsibility for it and instead ties it into what’s happened in the time passed. in champagne problems she reveals the depth of the situation and she takes the credit for the “betrayal”. she also reveals some of what has happened since the breakup in these songs, but w midnight rain we get the whole story. past, breakup, post breakup - all of it is revealed.

“Friends break up, friends get married

Strangers get born, strangers get buried

Trends change, rumors fly through new skies

But I'm right where you left me

Matches burn after the other

Pages turn and stick to each other

Wages earned and lessons learned

But I, I'm right where you left me

Help, I'm still at the restaurant

Still sitting in a corner I haunt

Cross-legged in the dim light

They say, "What a sad sight"

I, I swear you could hear a hair pin drop

Right when I felt the moment stop

Glass shattered on the white cloth

Everybody moved on

I, I stayed there

Dust collected on my pinned-up hair

They expected me to find somewhere

Some perspective, but I sat and stared

Right where you left me

You left me no, oh, you left me no

You left me no choice but to stay here forever

You left me, you left me no, oh, you left me no

You left me no choice but to stay here forever

Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen?

Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it

She's still 23 inside her fantasy

How it was supposed to be

Did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion?

Break-ups happen every day, you don't have to lose it

She's still 23 inside her fantasy

And you're sitting in front of me

At the restaurant, when I was still the one you want

Cross-legged in the dim light, everything was just right

I, I could feel the mascara run

You told me that you met someone

Glass shattered on the white cloth

Everybody moved on

Help, I'm still at the restaurant

Still sitting in a corner I haunt

Cross-legged in the dim light

They say, "What a sad sight"

I, I stayed there

Dust collected on my pinned-up hair

I'm sure that you got a wife out there

Kids and Christmas, but I'm unaware

'Cause I'm right where

I cause no harm, mind my business

If our love died young, I can't bear witness

And it's been so long

But if you ever think you got it wrong

I'm right where you left me

You left me no, oh, you left me no

You left me no choice but to stay here forever

You left me

You left me no, oh, you left me no

You left me no choice but to stay here forever”

“You booked the night train for a reason

So you could sit there in this hurt

Bustling crowds or silent sleepers

You're not sure which is worse

Because I dropped your hand while dancing

Left you out there standing

Crestfallen on the landing

Champagne problems

Your mom's ring in your pocket

My picture in your wallet

Your heart was glass, I dropped it

Champagne problems

You told your family for a reason

You couldn't keep it in

Your sister splashed out on the bottle

Now no one's celebrating

Dom Pérignon, you brought it

No crowd of friends applauded

Your hometown skeptics called it

Champagne problems

You had a speech, you're speechless

Love slipped beyond your reaches

And I couldn't give a reason

Champagne problems

Your Midas touch on the Chevy door

November flush and your flannel cure

"This dorm was once a madhouse"

I made a joke, "Well, it's made for me"

How evergreen, our group of friends

Don't think we'll say that word again

And soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls

That we once walked through

One for the money, two for the show

I never was ready, so I watch you go

Sometimes you just don't know the answer

'Til someone's on their knees and asks you

"She would've made such a lovely bride

What a shame she's fucked in the head, " they said

But you'll find the real thing instead

She'll patch up your tapestry that I shred

And hold your hand while dancing

Never leave you standing

Crestfallen on the landing

With champagne problems

Your mom's ring in your pocket

Her picture in your wallet

You won't remember all my

Champagne problems

You won't remember all my

Champagne problems”

“Rain, he wanted it comfortable

I wanted that pain

He wanted a bride

I was making my own name

Chasing that fame

He stayed the same

All of me changed like midnight

My town was a wasteland

Full of cages, full of fences

Pageant queens and big pretenders

But for some, it was paradise

My boy was a montage

A slow-motion, love potion

Jumping off things in the ocean

I broke his heart 'cause he was nice

He was sunshine, I was midnight rain

He wanted it comfortable

I wanted that pain

He wanted a bride

I was making my own name

Chasing that fame

He stayed the same

All of me changed like midnight

It came like a postcard

Picture perfect, shiny family

Holiday, peppermint candy

But for him it's every day

So I peered through a window

A deep portal, time travel

All the love we unravel

And the life I gave away

'Cause he was sunshine

I was midnight rain

He wanted it comfortable

I wanted that pain

He wanted a bride

I was making my own name

Chasing that fame

He stayed the same

All of me changed

Like midnight

Rain, he wanted it comfortable

I wanted that pain

He wanted a bride

I was making my own name

Chasing that fame

He stayed the same

All of me changed

Like midnight

I guess sometimes we all get

Just what we wanted, just what we wanted

And he never thinks of me

Except when I'm on TV

I guess sometimes we all get

Some kind of haunted, some kind of haunted

And I never think of him

Except on midnights like this (midnights like this)”

the last song was added after several listens through the playlist thus far. and while it was revealed the depths of each character’s feelings around the end of everything, it didn’t feel complete. this song is a big song for me personally and so i added it just to try it on and now i can’t imagine this playlist without it.

“No words appear before me in the aftermath

Salt streams out my eyes and into my ears

Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness

'Cause it's all over now, all out to sea

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

You were bigger than the whole sky

You were more than just a short time

And I've got a lot to pine about

I've got a lot to live without

I'm never gonna meet

What could've been, would've been

What should've been you

What could've been, would've been you

Did some bird flap its wings over in Asia?

Did some force take you because I didn't pray?

Every single thing to come has turned into ashes

'Cause it's all over, it's not meant to be

So I'll say words I don't believe

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

You were bigger than the whole sky

You were more than just a short time

And I've got a lot to pine about

I've got a lot to live without

I'm never gonna meet

What could've been, would've been

What should've been you

What could've been, would've been

What should've been you

(What could've been, would've been)

What could've been, would've been you

(Could've been, would've been)

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

You were bigger than the whole sky

You were more than just a short time

And I've got a lot to pine about

I've got a lot to live without

I'm never gonna meet

What could've been, would've been

What should've been you”

so the whole story really only takes place at the time of the breakup and the midnights following when the two reflect on the breakup.

so, break up… character A’s midnight breakdown… character B’s midnight heartbreaking storytelling. which took place so far after the fact bc she refused to even process it emotionally until she found out that he really did move on.

i like to imagine that now both characters are happy and grateful for the whole thing. they loved and lived a beautiful life together at the beginning. then they each got what they wanted (after lots of processing and pain, but eventually they get there). perhaps i’ll add more to show that, idk... actually i’ve already got some ideas but i’m really a perfectionist when it comes to these playlists so i need the lyrics and the vibes to flow right otherwise it won’t tell the story right. this is the first playlist tho where the irl singers are consistent with the characters. usually the characters have no gender and any gender in the song (from the singer to the pronouns used) may or may not be relevant. but the characters always have consistent vibes that are represented in the songs. this is becoming one of my favorite creative hobbies actually.

if you made it here, thank you for reading (:

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bokebelle · 3 years

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connie springer + friends with benefits

A/N: this is very very self-indulgent and ended up being longer than intended but please enjoy my Connie brainrot bc i love him a lot and he needs more content

WARNINGS: 16+; friends with benefits relationship; mentions of sex; modern au

PAIRINGS: connie springer x gn!reader

TAGS: fluff, a tiny tiny bit of angst.

REQUESTS: open

One of the best people to get into a friends with benefits type of relationship 💯

You guys would have to be good friends before this kind of relationship happens. Connie may be fun and goofy from time to time but he wants to make sure you trust him as a partner and vice versa

He probably wasn't even looking for a fwb type relationship tbh it probably just happened and you guys just went with it

it probably started with growing sexual tension whenever you two hung out. A little playful flirting here and there 👀

At a party, you two were a little flirter than usual and he just looked around to see if anyone was around, and whispered in your ear if you wanted to make out in his car LMAO of course you agreed

things just escalated over time til he offered to take you home one night and you best believe he did NOT go home that night

When the post nut clarity finally hit that you guys hooked up, he just asks if you would want to do it again

Connie turned to look at you, lips slightly swollen, with a light dusting of pink on his cheeks and a light sheen of sweat on his chest. "So...wanna do it again?"

"Right now?!" you sit up, instantly feeling the soreness in your lower half. you definitely weren't ready for another round

"Not now, dummy. But maybe...whenever we both wanna, y'know..." he avoided looking at you, suddenly feeling embarrassed at his own proposition. "but if you totally don't want to, it's fine I understand."

A small smile dances on you lips. He looked cute all flustered, suddenly looking nervous when he was anything but just moments ago. "I think I'd like that."

You two don't really tell anyone, but you don't keep it a secret either. He'd tell them what's up if people would ask (if you wanted them to know) but since you guys flirt all the time no one really suspected anything more was going on

the longer your relationship progresses, the bolder he gets lmao literally went from being shy about asking to hookup in his apartment to dragging your ass you his car during a date because his dick "suddenly missed his best buddy" you smacked him

He is also very open to experimenting and trying new things. He'll try it once and if it doesn't work then it's fine. He also respects your boundaries if ever you don't feel comfortable with the idea of trying something new. he won pressure you and won't bring it up

Probably uses a safeword like "taco"

He isn't THAT rough that you'd need one, but he wants to give you the option of stopping whenever you feel like you can handle it 😭 this baby doesn't wanna hurt you and wants you as safe as possible 🥺

This man is a great mix of playful and serious in the bedroom. He knows when to make you laugh during sex and to tone it down when you just need a physical release. your comfort is his priority so he wants to make sure he fits whatever you need

Connie is actually really good with aftercare despite not knowing it's actually a thing!!

He just knows it's on him to take care of his partner afterwards so he helps you clean up, gives you clean clothes especially if you're at his place, and offers you a snack or asks if you wanna watch a movie

If you want to cuddle and just talk, he's totally down! if you also need some personal space, he'll totally respect that and give you the time you need, whenever you need it.

He can be a total flirt but he's also very friendly and knows his limits so he doesn't end up sending mixed signals. He's flirty enough to keep things interesting but not enough to confuse either of you about your relationship unless he falls for you.

Great aftercare? Attentive in the bedroom? Funny, handsome, respectful king? overall one of the best people to have a FWB relationship hands down

If you ever decide you want to end that kind of setup, he'll totally respect it and would still treat you as a good friend! will occasionally make inside jokes about hooking up but it's all in good nature because he enjoyed his time with you and he wants you to remember that time with the same smile he has whenever he thinks about it pls i love him

BONUS: Falling in love with Connie during your FWB relationship (and him falling in love you with back)

honestly how can you not fall for him

Connie is always so sweet, funny, respectful, both in and out of the bedroom so it wasn't long before you started wanting to stay in his arms a bit more after a good session

Connie never treated you any differently, but there were times when things just felt different

The moment you knew you had feelings for him was when he fucked you differently compared to your previous sessions

Sure he would blow your back out every now and then, but there were also more mellow times with him when you both were feeling lazy and needy

But THIS was a new experience. He fucked you slowly, but intensely. His hands were all over you but his touches were more gentle and soft. His kisses were a little bit sweeter and the caresses on your face lingered just a bit longer.

You snuggled into his chest a little more after that and you swore he held you a bit tighter, pulling your body just a bit closer to his. When you became aware of his heart beating under your ear, and found yourself being lulled to sleep by it, you knew you were fucked both literally and figuratively

Your feelings for him weighed you down more and more until you decided you were playing a dangerous game and you had to get out before you reached the point of no return

it sucked having to break things off with Connie but it was the first rule of any fwb relationship and you broke it more and more everyday.

As you sat up and rolled out of bed, ready to get dressed and leave, you felt Connie's arms come up behind you and rested his chin against your shoulder.

"Hey, why don't you stay the night?" he asked, placing a quick kiss on the junction between your neck and shoulder.

You exhale heavily, dreading what was coming next. You didn't plan on breaking it off so soon, but you knew staying the night would only be the wrong choice to make - for your sake and your heart's.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"C'mon, this isn't the first time you've stayed the night. Please?" You wanted to give in. You wanted to roll around, kiss his pretty face and spend the night in his arms. But knowing he didn't feel the same way as you did, knowing you'd leave with a heart that would break a little bit more if you stayed over, is what made you say no.

"It's not a good idea, Connie." you take a deep breath. "Actually, I think we aren't a good idea anymore."

You felt him withdraw his arms from your torso, the areas where he held you instantly feeling cold and empty. You hold on tighter to the sheets, partly to cover yourself up but mostly to keep you from breaking down in front of him.

"What?! Why not? Did I do something wrong? Was I too rough?"

Connie desperately racked his brain for what could have gone wrong from when you were saying his name like a prayer to now. He didn't want to mess it up with you, he really didn't. You slowly became someone he felt safe with. You became the one he wanted to see first thing in the morning, that's why he wanted you to stay over. He was falling for you, but he didn't want to admit it just yet. Maybe you caught on and didn't feel the same way? He knew he'd have to tell you eventually, but he wanted to be selfish a little bit longer. He wanted to enjoy what you guys had before going back to being just friends with no 'benefits'.

"I know we agreed to being just friends but I think I'm starting to feel something more than that and it's really stupid. But I don't think I can do this anymore without falling for you more than I already have." The tension in the air is palpable. In the time it takes for what you said to finally sink in Connie's mind, you decided his silence was his final answer.

When Connie saw your figure quietly get up from the edge of the bed, he knew this was his chance.

He quickly made his way over to your side, sitting on the edge. He reached out and gently wrapped his arms around your waist.

"Don't go, please." He whispered into the skin of your back.

You turn to look at him, keeping your tears at bay, trying to pry his arms off of you. God, with the way he was looking at you, that was almost all the convincing you need to stay just last night with him

"Connie, don't make this harder on me. You don't understa-"

"No, [y/n]" he cuts you off, now moving his hands to hold yours. "you don't understand." he delicately presses a kiss to your fingertips before kissing the back of your hand. "I want you. I want you to stay."

The meaning behind his words lit a spark in you that erupted into a passionate flame in your chest.

Connie wanted you. He wanted you just as much as you wanted him.

You cup his face, one of his hands coming up to rest over yours. You lean down and place the sweetest, softest kiss you can on his lips. It's not much but you hope he can feel all you've wanted to tell him in that one kiss.

"Okay, Connie, okay" you whisper as your lips pulled away from his own, a small smile forming when he whined at the loss of contact.

You committed the image of Connie Springer pouting at you because he wanted a kiss to your memory. You would tease him about it soon enough, you just wanted cherish the fact that he wanted kisses - your kisses.

You had more nights to share, more kisses to give him, but for now you just wanted to enjoy the feeling of having Connie in your arms, knowing you had each other as long as your hearts wanted.

You wanted to enjoy the feeling of Connie simply being there, finally being yours. He wasn't going anywhere, and neither were you.

"I'll stay."

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themarcusmoreno · 4 years

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unsteady

an: this doesn’t have a read more bc i don’t know how to do them tbh AND i’m posting from mobile. any errors present are yet again my own. i tried to give my dumbass, baby boy javier what i took away in timing is everything. i suggest listening to this version of the song that inspired the title and i hope that you guys enjoy it, i’m proud of this one. i left this with a possiblity for more, if that’s something you’d like to see let me know! feedback is welcome! //// tagging: @spacedadheadcanons, @bonkybaaarnes, @callingmrsbarnes, @buckywiththegoodglare, @drakecaggiula91, @thatsonehellofajedi, @mando-vibes, @i-like-those-odds, @i-am-forever-a-fan, @fvckingavengers, @ikeatwins776

You found becoming a DEA agent to be an easy task, falling into the training and field work like they were second nature. You made a name for yourself, eager to the fight and quick to solve the issues presented to you. So, when the opportunity came for you to take an open post in Colombia, in Bogotá, you took it. Transportig your life to the new country seemed easy enough but finding your place amongst the senior agents proved troublesome, especially when Javier Peña seemed to be involved. You'd been placed with him and his partner, Steve Murphy. Where Steve had warmed up to you quickly, Javier stayed distant and cold. Every bit the asshole you had been warned he would be.

Over the coming months, you saw small breaks in the persona the man presented. Whether it was when you joined he and Steve for drinks after a particularly rough day or at the "family dinners" that Connie held once a week. You, even in the briefest of moments, got to see a different side of him. One that showed the crinkle of his face as he laughed at one of the jokes Steve shared, the warmth of his smile as he watched Connie with the Murphy’s little girl and even the lingering glance he'd give you as you told stories about your early days as an agent. A smirk played on his lips every time he saw you home safely and bid you goodnight.

"You know if you keep this up I may think you actually like me or something, Peña." A smile spreads across you face as you lean against the doorway of your apartment.

"Now what would give you that idea?" Javier has a smile of his own as watches you, arms crossed over his chest and head tilted upward ever so slighty.

You chuckle and roll your eyes, turning to disappear into your quiet home. "Goodnight, Javier."

A brief wave of somethig like sadness fills his chest as he watces you turn away, his arm aching to reach out and grasp yours but instead he is met with the soft click of your door. "Yeah.. goodnight, cariña." He mumbles, sighing and rubbing his jaw before he backs away to head to his own place just a floor below.

In the coming weeks, you saw more of that change in Javier. Once in him lingering near the entrance of the office long after finishing his cigarette, fresh cup of coffee in hand for the both of you. You hid the soft smile that crept on to your face at the gesture behind your cup, walking along with him as he explaied yet another lead in the hunt for Escobar. You saw it again in him seeking you out after another raid had failed and your team had lost four men. You'd be alone, gathering your own thoughts when the knocking at the door had pulled you from your silence. Wiping your face quickly, you opened the door to him standing there looking no better than you felt. His jaw clenched and eyes tired as he took your appearance in slowly.

"Mind if I come in?" The softness of his request betraying the way his features held such frustration. You gave a slight nod and made your way back to the chair you'd previously occupied. When he speaks again there's something in his tone you can't quite place, concern maybe. "I couldn't find you when we got back. You disappeared and nobody saw where you went. I thought you'd left. I needed - wanted to make sure you were okay."

You were silent a few seconds before you brought your gaze to his, fresh tears threatening to spill. "Would you be? I lost men, Jav. I lost four good men because of a fucking raid I planned." There's a bite to your words, not at the man in front you but at the pain in knowing you'd cost someone their life for something you believed in, something you trusted. A wave of nausea brought you to your feet, the emotions overwhelming. You let the tears fall, not noticing the gentle pressure of Javier's hand on your arm as he pulled you close. You didn't fight him, instead you turned into him and gave yourself over to the sobs that racked your body.

"Easy, cariña. Easy." Javier rubbed the small of your back, holding you close and letting you cry. His heart broke for the pain you felt and the thought of the guilt you carried. "What happen.. What happen today, it wasn't your fault. The best laid plans fall apart every fucking day and I know that better than anyone else. So does Steve. But this, this raid and what happen to those men wasn't your fault. You want someone to blame, you blame me. Not yourself, me. Understand?"

You listened to him, your tears slowing as spoke to you. Firm but gentle. When you did't respond he said your name softly, repeating his question. "Blame me, no one else. Understand?" He gave you gentle squeeze, words slightly muffled by your hair as he rested his chin against you.*You nodded slowly, pulling away from his tear strained shirt, and answering. "I understand but - "

"No buts. You did your job well today and thats what matters for now. Losing men is never easy but we recover, come back harder the next time and you can bet we will. Harder and faster than this time. We'll avenge the fallen and take that bastard Escobar down a peg or two when we do." Javier looks over your face, absentmindedly reaching to brush a stray tear from your cheek. He lets his hand linger before he shakes his head a little and steps back. "You should take the day. I'll get your reports done. Just go home and rest, yeah?"

You don't stop him as he pulls away, don't reach out fo him the way you want, instead you nod slowly and wrap your arms around yourself to savor the bit of his warmth left. "Are you sure, Jav?"

"Positive, miel. Go home, rest and I'll check on you when I get done here." He gives you a soft smile, not hesitating to reach out and brush your hair from your face. "Maybe I'll bring food too."

"Nothing you cook though because I want to survive the night." You smirk, laughing at his look of shock. "Sorry, you're a great agent but a shit cook." When he grumbles a response, you just shake your head and press a gentle kiss to his cheek. "Thank you, Jav." You squeeze his arm and smile, glancing back at him before you step out into the hallway.

He feels it then, the unsteady beating of his heart as he watches you leave. The feel of your lips still on his cheek and your scent lingering on his shirt, he knows what it is but he won't say it, at least not aloud. He just sighs, "Shit..."

The month that follows is different, you can't place it but something is different between you and Javier. He's more attentive, checks in on you more frequently. Lingering touches, soft smiles and few too many quiet moments shared for you to keep ignoring whatever may be there growing between the two of you. You don't get to bring it up to him, address the elephant in the room, before another wave of information comes in. Leads you needed to help the raid you, Javier and Steve were planning. Though leery to go out again, your partners encouragement had you eager to finally put a dent in the armor Pablo Escobar thought he wore.

"We've get every possibly scenario covered. Too many guards, too few guards. Nothing in the lab, something in the lab. Civilians present, no civilians present. I'm not saying it's perfect but its about the best damn plan we've had in a while." Steve looks up from the map to the small gathering of men, including you.

"Doesn't mean we shouldn't be careful. Expect the unexpected, I don't want another repeat of last time." Your arms cross over your chest as you look at everything spread across the table. “Everyone gets a vest, everyone has a partner. You watch each others back. We work quickly, we get home faster."

"Well you heard her. Date prisa, go get the gear and be out front in ten." Javier gives your arm a firm squeeze and winks before he joins the other men leaving the room.

You feel his gaze on you before you speak, sighing as you look at Steve. “What Murph?"

"You gonna tell him?" Steve quirks an eyebrow as he pops his gum and rocks on his heels.

Your breath catches and you brush it off as a cough as you start to speak again. "I don't know what you mean. There's nothing to tell anyone."

Steve scoffs, shaking his head as he gathers things from the table. "Uh huh. You keep telling yourelf that, darlin.” He smiles and squeezes your shoulder, "If it helps, he feels the same way. I've been that asshole's partner long enough to know when he's fallen for someone and that someone happens to be you." He heads towards the door, glancing back once more. "Just... Just don't wait too long to tell him. With our job, we aren't always promised tomorrow. But I told him the same thing and so far no one has made a move.”

You hesitate in the now quiet room and let Steve's words sink. Whatever you felt, Javier felt it too. You wouldn't wait past today, you'd tell him as soon as you could. "I'll tell him tonight." With vocal confirmation, you nodded to yourself and went out to join your men.

Javier had been right that day in the office as he held you close, the best laid plans really do fall apart and its usually in the worst of ways. There had been an ambush waiting, a leak from your own department tipping the guards off. You were all outnumbered before you even got there, but when you did you gave them hell. Losing two of your own men as they worked to stop the assault. When the man you'd paired yourself with was taken down, you felt the fear of not making it set in. It make you hyper aware, but not enough. Javier had covered your six after your partner went down, keeping an eye on Steve as well. That's how he saw him, lurking just out of your peripheral vision and coming up fast. The solid body crashing into you was enough to distract you from the shots but when the body didn't hurriedly move, you knew something was wrong. You shifted enough and the body of your protector landed beside you, causing him to groan lowly. You could see the blood pooling slowly, panic rising as your eyes traveled up to his face. Javier.

"Steve, fuck! Steve, get some medic here. Javi is shot, he's bleeding out!" You look around for Steve, locking eyes with him as he brings his walkie to his mouth.

"Necesito abulancia. Oficial de policía abajo." He listens to the feedback and curses. "Goddamnit! They're ten minutes out, he got that long?"

You survey the area of the pooling blood, grimacing at the pained sound Javier produces. "Maybe.. I can't be sure. He took a couple rounds, looks like they went through but its not good. It doesn't look good, Murph." You feel the familar burn of tears as they start to form. Steve's voice fading away as you look down to the soft call of your name. "Jav? Take it easy for me, okay? Try not to move."

Javier blinks softly, the vision of you him above edged in darkness. "Mi sol.." He winces, grasping at your hand as you press it against the wounds. "Oh mi sol, I'm sorry."

His sun. You blink back tears as you look him, cupping his face carefully with your free hand. "Javier, why? Why would you do this?" You don't hold back, letting the tears fall freely. The sound of the ambulance outside not pulling you from the moment. "Javi, why? I don't - I can't lose you now."

Javier smiles, its weak and fading but he smiles as he squeezes you hand and starts to lose consciousness. "This.. This is about keeping you alive." When he starts to drift off, he hears hurried spanish and your cries.

A week. Javier Peña lays in a drug induced coma for a week before he starts to become aware again. Its slow at first, a groan that has you gathering a nurse then a few mumbled curses as starts to fully wake up. You watch him drink slowly from the cup of offered water. Closing his eyes again before he slowly opens them once more to scan the room, you hear his breath catching softly as he looks at you. You don't hear the nurse leave, you don't feel yourself move until your close to his side and his hand is in yours. The warm, tan skin familiar and welcome in your grasp.

You get choked up as you start to speak, the reassuring squeeze of his hand in yours bring the words forward. "I.. I thought I lost you."

Javier's voice comes out soft, raspy from lack of use. "Can't kill me if they wanted to, miel. I'm too fucking stubborn to die." He laughs and grimaces, shifting in the bed for you to have room to sit.

You reach up, rubbing his cheek gently once you finally join him. "Well you at least got the stubborn part right." You tease, wiping your eyes as you look at him. Stubble lines his jaw and chin, his hair unkempt and you know he's never looked better. Never looked more alive.

"What's on your mind?" He questions, running his thumb over your knuckles as he watches your eyes shift over him.

"Do you remember what you said? Before you blacked out?" You work your lip between your teeth before he slowly reaches up and pulls it free.

"Si." He cups your cheek, no hesitation in his movements. "Por qué?"

"What did you mean? 'This is about keeping you alive.' What does that mean?" You lean into his hand, savoring the feel of him against your skin.

Javier shifts, taking his hand from your face and wincing he sits up more. When he's finally up and stable, he leans in presses a soft kiss to your lips. Sighing against your mouth as you return his affection, he breaks the kiss and rest your foreheads together. "It means that I can't picture my life without you in it and I don't want to. I'm sorry I waited so long to tell you that, to tell you I love you."

You smile, matching his own as you kiss him again. "Glad to know it takes almost dying to get you to confess your feelings." You joke, closing your eyes and basking in the moment with Javier. "I love you too and I'm not going anywhere."

#*unsteady #javier peña x reader #javier peña #javier pena x reader #javier pena #narcos #pedro pascal#pedro pascal character x reader #pedro pascal character #ash writes

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grapehyunshair · 5 years

Text

Infidelity pt.3 // JJH

It has been 6 months since you walked out of the house and to say those months have been hard would be an understatement. Trying to forget Jaehyun was harder than you thought it would be, seeing as his face was literally everywhere around you. At first you couldn't bear hanging out with the other boys as well and you had stopped picking up their calls or answering their messages. That was until Mark and Hyuck almost broke down your door one day and demanded to "get your ass up and hang out with them". Ever since that day you have become much closer with those two than you ever were, both of them making sure that they never mentioned Jaehyun's name around you. The older members made sure to check up on you as well. Taeyong and Doyoung regularly swung by and made food for you, Johnny and Taeil took you out on walks, Ten had dance parties with you, while Jungwoo, Sicheng and Yuta took you shopping at least once a week because according to them you needed to up your dating game. That's how you found yourself getting ready for a date one Saturday night with one of Johnny's friends who was visiting from Chicago for a week. You really didn't want to go, claiming that it was pointless since he would be leaving either way, yet Johnny insisted that you at least try seeing what going on a date would be like considering that you hadn't really gone on many dates before dating Jaehyun. So with that thought in mind you hesitantly agreed and now you were regretting everything because you were really, really nervous. You walked to the restaurant you would be meeting Minhyuk (YES IM IMAGINING MINHYUK FROM MONSTA X FITE ME) -Johnny's friend- thinking that some fresh air would make you losen up a little bit and it did; it really did until you reached your destination and saw him waiting for you. You had to admit he was very handsome and you wished in this moment you could get Jaehyun out of your brain and give this guy a proper chance so that's what you tried to do. You approached him with a smile and said a small hi.

This is a happy ending version bc many of u guys asked for it uwuwu I'll write an alternative angsty ending in a while ily guys

"Oh, you must be Y/N. You're even more beautiful than Johnny described." He grinned and gave you a hug, making you blush in return and hug him back. He had a beautiful smile, with one small dimple popping up making him look adorable. "Shall we go in? I hope you're hungry." He said gesturing the door.

"Yeah, I'm actually starving." You laughed. He chuckled and held the door for you, so you could get in. You walked in and both of your jaws dropped in shock. The restaurant, Johnny's pick, was fancier than you had ever been, chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, gourmet plates on each table, while the floor was made from marble, gold details decorating every corner. And that would be fine you see, if Johnny had actually told you where you guys would be going but no, he kept it to himself and let you both be completely underdressed for the situation.

"Um, Minhyuk, I don't think we're very fitting for this place." You said, nervously, while glancing at him.

He turned to look at you and said a small, "Hey, wanna get out of here?" to which you smiled and said, "I though you'd never ask."

So this is how you ended up at McDonald's, sitting in a corner booth, eating chicken nuggets and fries, laughing your hearts out at little stories you both shared with each other.

"I can't believe they actually did that." Minhyuk said, choking up from laughter.

"Honestly, it's Johnny and Taeil, what would you expect?" you replied, raising your eyebrow at that, while popping a fry in your mouth.

"You're right, I should know better." He agreed, "Hey I'll go get myself another milkshake so I can dip my fries, want one?"

"Nah, I think I'm full, I should probably stop eating." you said and he laughed getting up and going towards the cashier. Your eyes followed his back and you couldn't help but the small sad smile that creeped up your lips. You were having so much fun, but you know that you couldn't offer him anything other than friendship at this point and you knew he knew as well. You could tell by the way he didn't try anything with you, something you appreciated a lot. You sighed and your mind drifted back to Jaehyun as you wondered what he was doing. You suddenly heard familiar voices making your eyes go wide and your heartbeat increase. One was Johnny's and the other one was no other than Jaehyun's. At first they didn't notice you sitting a few feet away from them, until they reached the cashier and saw Minhyuk waiting on the line. Johnny's eyes went as wide as yours and he quickly scanned the place to see if you were there as well, freezing when he saw you looking at them. Jaehyun alarmed at his friend's reaction, looked at the direction of what made Johnny white as a ghost and mirrored his expression when he saw you sitting there. He looked bad. Really bad. His face looked like he had aged at least five years, black circles decorating his beautiful eyes. His appearance was dissevered, almost as if he hadn't left the house in days. He reminded you of yourself, when you were alone in your house, dealing with your thoughts. Could it be..?

Minhyuk seeing the whole situation, quickly greeted the boys and skipped towards you in attempt to get you out of the place as fast as he could. To be honest, he really liked you and had fun with you, besides knowing that your heart belonged to Jaehyun still. And he was okay with that, he would cherish your friendship a lot if you were willing to give this to him. Johnny had filled him in with the information earlier, so he knew that you being in this situation right now would not be good for you, that's why when he reached you he took your hand, pulled you on your feet, asking you if you were okay softly.

"Can we get out of here please?" You croaked out, voice too weak to be heard.

"Yes, yes of course." He said and took your bag, guiding you out. You hadn't even walked two steps out of the door when you heard your name being called out. You froze and pretended that you hadn't heard anything, while you kept walking.

"He's calling for you." Minhyuk said, trying to keep up with you, a task that was kinda difficult considering it had started snowing while you were inside. That wouldn't stop you though, because your desire to be away from Jaehyun right now was bigger than any difficulty you were facing.

"I know. I just can't face him right now. I'm so sorry for ruining this night." You said apologetically, looking at the ground.

"Hey," he said softly, reaching for your elbow with his hand and stopping you from walking away, "you didn't ruin anything. I think it would be good for you to talk to him though, see what he wants. I know you still love him Y/N, you will always love him." He said, kissing your head and ruffling your hair. This action, gave Jaehyun the time to reach you guys, panting, nose and ears red as a tomato.

"You should talk to her, however if I hear you are causing trouble I won't hesitate to step in." Minhyuk said sternly, giving Jaehyun a threatening pat on the back, while he went to sit on a bench nearby were Johnny was looking at the scene unfold.

"Hi." Jaehyun said, hesitantly, "How have you been?"

"Good. You?" You replied curtly.

"I'm okay, I guess. I don't even know." He said, fiddling with the ring on his fingers. The ring you had gifted him on your one year anniversary.

"Y-you're still wearing that?" You said, in disbelief. To anyone that passed the street, the scene probably looked romantic. A young couple, that tried to shrug off the nerves of the first date probably, but the truth was far worse than that. You could feel yourself breaking the walls that you build once again and you hated that. You hated how he could barge into your life at any point and take your heart by storm.

"Yeah. I am." He said, scratching the back of his neck. "I see you're dating again. I hope he makes you happy." He said, a hint of jealousy lacing his voice.

"Me? Oh no. Minhyuk and I are just friends. He's leaving in a few days either way." You said, shrugging. Jaehyun looked almost relieved at that, leaving you very confused.

"Hey, can we go sit down for a while?" He said pointing at a bench under some cherry blossoms a few feet away. "I need to say something."

"I don't know Jaehyun. There isn't really anything to say." You said, not being completely sure of your feelings at the exact moment.

"Please. 5 minutes. That's all I ask." He said, desperately, his eyes looking for your eyes, in attempt to convince you. And he did, so you sighed and said a soft okay.

You walked to the bench in silence and you took a seat as far away from him as you could. Ah, stupid Y/N that was a bad idea. You could smell his perfume, a smell you missed incredibly much, giving you a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach. You both stayed silent for a while, unable to find words to say to each other until Jaehyun broke the silence.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I didn't know what I was doing Y/N. Everything was so much at the time. The practices, the hectic schedule, the fact that I almost never saw you. I thought I didn't love you anymore, when in face I never stopped. I just missed you and instead of thinking about it, I acted carelessly." He said and you turned around to face him, not believing what you were being told.

"You missed me? You still loved me? Then why Jaehyun? Why go and fuck around?" You said, the anger of the past coming back up. "I missed you too, yet I stayed faithful to you."

"I know. I know you did. I know I'm an asshole and that I don't deserve you. I'm not trying to take the blame off myself, I know I'm the only one to blame. I just was so lost. I felt that I wasn't good enough for anything. I wasn't good enough for you. I took my own insecurities on you and hurt you. But you were, and are, the only person who knows me better than I know myself. I was ashamed of my thoughts and I knew that you could see right through me. So I distanced myself from you, at first, to keep this image of myself hidden from you. At least until I could stop being like that. And then I missed your love and affection, and that was when I started looking for it elsewhere. And it was never the same, but I was so confused that I was okay with it. I didn't even notice when I became that person. I'm- I'm so sorry." He said, his voice breaking, tears rolling down his cheeks.

You were in no better condition. You didn't even notice when you had started crying, both from sadness and love for the boy in front of you. You instinctively reached out for Jaehyun's hand, the warmth feeling familiar, calming you down a bit.

"Jae.. I really don't know what to say. Nor what to do. I tried so hard to forget you Jaehyun. I really did. And I can't do that and it breaks my heart. But I don't know what I should do about that, I don't know what would be best." You said, your thumb caressing his palm.

Jaehyun looked at you and placed his palm on the side of your head, you leaning your head to rest on it.

"I love you. I never stopped. I understand if you don't want anything to do with me and I'll respect that, but if you could give me a second chance I promise you, you won't regret it." He pleaded, getting closer to you. You knew you should have gotten up and walked away. You knew those beautiful eyes had the power to hurt you again and leave you more broken than before, but for some reason you couldn't bring yourself to move from your spot. Truth was, you missed Jaehyun so much. There hasn't been a day those past 6 months, when you didn't think of him. Your love for him was so big that you were willing to risk your sanity just so you could wake up next to him one more day, as stupid as that made you look.

"I want to Jae. You have no idea how much I've missed you. But I don't know if I can trust you again. It's going to be very hard and I don't know if it will be worth it in the end." You said, letting go of his hand and placing it on your lap.

"We'll take it slow. We'll take it as slow as you want to take it. I'll do anything to make you trust me again. Just, please. Please be mine again. I miss the way you look every morning with your hair tangled up and your cheeks muffled in the pillow. I miss the way you scrunch your little nose when you are confused. I miss the way you make fun of me when I have my "practice" face on. I miss your smell. I miss the way taste of strawberries from your chapstick when I kiss you. I miss you. Please." He said and you started crying all over again. God, you needed to get a grip of your emotions smh.

"Are you willing to wait for me? Wait till I can trust you again?" You said, with a small sigh.

"I'm willing to wait fifty years if that means you'll be mine again." He said caressing your cheek and wiping away your tears.

"Okay then. I hope you don't make me regret it." You said, trying to smile through the tears.

"You won't. In fact, let's start all over again." He said and got up. "Hi, I'm Jaehyun, is this seat taken?" He said and gestured next to you.

"Hi, I'm Y/N. No, it's not you can seat here." You said laughing. Jaehyun grinned, his dimples full on display, while he took your hand, pulling you up towards him, while he hugged you, spinning you in circles, the snow falling all around you.

In the distance, Johnny smiled at the sight, hoping that none of you would break each other's hearts again.

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warnerbro · 7 years

Conversation

that one party

Boo: As if supporting Donnie at soccer games wasn't enough. As if kissing that stupid guy in front of him wasn't enough. No, she was haunting him, and making sure he'd remember her and see her face every chance he'd get. Especially at that stupid party. So he took one look at her and scRUNCHED HIS NOSE, AND SCOFFED BEfORE TAKING A NICE GULP OF SOME MIXED DRINK

Cilla: [Cilla's honestly thinking to herself, why am I at a college party? I don't even like high school parties that much. Maybe these are better? Eh. Anyway, she was just here because Donnie wanted her to come with him. Something about it being important for her to come with him? Whatever. But yikes. She notices Boo is there too, and of course, why wouldn't he be? Wasn't this a soccer team sort of party? Heck. She grimaces so hard. But she huddles further into Donnie, like, keep me away from these drunk people. I'm tiny.]

Boo: [Melissa, of course, sees his discomfort. She walked right up to him and suggested they should leave, right there but no. Not tonight. He wouldn't be running away from that girl anymore, so he took one more drink and shook his head.] No, I'm spectacular. Just get me trashed. [So she nodded and disappeared for a minute and returned with libations. He tried not to stare. Boy, Willy, did he try not to stare, but of course he did, as even when he felt like he should hate her, he really didn't, and couldn't.]*

Cilla: [As Cilla is probably unable to keep her peripheral vision off of Boo, she sees that snake in the grass approach Boo, and that only serves to make her grimace even harder and tense even more. Donnie notices this. He raises an eyebrow at her, asking what was wrong.] Just not used to this... I guess. [She gave an awkward laugh, and Donnie gave her this smile, told her how adorable she was, and handed her a cup with what she guessed was alcohol in it. Oh, cool. Though, in her state of 'kill me now' she took a laRGE sip of it, and then coughed because wtf is this stuff he just gave me it is strong stuff. Donnie patted her back, and told her to slow down to which she just nodded. Yikey.]

Boo: [he wasn't quite seeing double yet. Moments had passed. Beer pong match after pong match. There were some quarters involved with a shot glass, and Melissa had even pulled him away to play a round of flip cup. She was great at distracting him. It worked, but Boo couldn't forget about that blonde-haired girl. Nope. She stayed in the back of her mind, and Boo had assumed to the side of a certain Rocket boy. His stomach tied in drunken knots he felt sick at that notion. He was still in control of most of his functions and though he swore he wasn't intoxicated, he could feel his inhibitions escaping to freedom. His eyes scanned the room once more. Melissa was nowhere to be found, and he was on his way to find somewhere to sit down, alone. To think. To escape the embarassment of how he felt-- ashamed that Cilla wasn't with him and instead with that assclown of a person. He found the perfect place up the stairs and down the hallway.]

Cilla: [The room. It was spinning. Yup. The lights were merging together. How much did she have, exactly, in her quest to not pay attention to her boyfriend's sister and her ex-whatever? Too much for someone that drank maybe half a beer for the two parties she'd been too in her life. Awesome. She swayed a little, into Donnie. He stopped his conversation with his soccer pal to ask his gf if she was alright.] Yeah. I'm fine. I just-- I think I need to go to the bathroom, and... I don't know, splash some water in my face. Nope, you can stay here. I'm a big girl, thanks. [So, on her way she goes. Up the stairs???? Down the hallway????? And oop, there's a door. Oop. This room is occupied by... ohboy. She freezes y'all. But the grimace from earlier is back now. She says nothing because BOY WHY.]*

Boo: [Boo's sitting in an armchair, his head in his hands and the room is spinning for him as well, but he's not drunk. No. Don't ask him because he'd drive himself home right now. It was only a couple of beers. A couple of drinking games. Whatever. He just needed time to himself. Which was interrupted. He looked up at the door, and his eyes fell upon a silent Cilla and he could throw himself out the window right now because why?! So he's going to address her with a real condescending tone. ] You lost, Princess?

Cilla: [And yup. Was she an angry drunk? Because, boy, that condescending tone just got her PISSED.] Yeah. You know what? I guess I am. Because I'd rather be anywhere else than standing right here. Believe me. [but is she even making an attempt to move? Probably not. Maybe a sway towards the door.]*

Boo: Good job leaving. Congrats. A+ feet you have there. [He claps.] So while I've got you here, you can't just bring yourself to my soccer games, I told you to not to feel obliged to come. Remember?

Cilla: Fuck off, Boo. [iF SHE COULD LEAVE SHE WOULD BUT HER FEET AREN'T WORKING.] You said don't feel obliged to come /for you/. And I'm not.

Boo: You'RE THE ONE STILL HERE. [ SO HE SHOOTs RIGH T UP bECAUSE LET"S GET ANGREY LETS. walking towards her all angry like] You're the one still fucking here. And Cilla, for the first time in ever, I really don't want you around anymore. So go. Leave. [he points to the door. because gdi go away.]

Cilla: YES, YES, GO AHEAD AND ACT LIKE YOU CAN KICK ME OUT OF A PLACE THAT ISN'T YOURS??? [she roLLS HER EYES.] If you don't want to be around me, which, trust me, I feel the same, you're welcome to walk away. Because, yeah, not everything is on me.

Boo: You're the one who walked away from me, and THEN you walked right back around with that STUPID GUY ON YOUR ARM SO.... [he points back towards the door, agAIN. LIKE FUCK YA I WAS HERE FIRST GET OUT, he sways of course. Alcohol soz.] I don't think I can forgive for this anymore, and I don't want you in my life anymore. Stay away.[his eye twitches tho, lol bcs he doesnt MEAN IT]

Cilla: [NOT EVEN GONNA REPLY TO THAT BS BECAUSE HE'S ACTUALLY BEEN WITH MELISSA ALL NIGHT? AND TO THE REST OF THIS, THE STUBBORN PRINCESS, WHO ALWAYS GETS HER WAY, just plants her drunken feet, crosses her arms, gets this defiant look, and stays silent.]

Boo: [HE IS GONNA PULL ALL OF HIS HAIR OUT BECAUSE GDI GO AWAY. He opens his mouth to sCREAM AT HER. BECAUSE FRUSTRATION. But it takes a step back. He pauses and takes a deep breath. He looks to the floor, and seriously seriously puts on his apology face.] You're breaking my heart all over again, and I understand why. You're mad at me because what I did with Mel, it was unfair. But what you're doing--[ hE FINALLY LOOKS BACK UP AT HER.] Showing up here, and everywhere else--it's not fair to me.

Cilla: [She does nothing but scoff. Really.] Do you think I keep visiting to hurt you? Really? [clo eyebrow raise.]

Boo: Don't you even pretend this isn't about us. [SCOFF RIGHT BACk.]

Cilla: Crazy enough, I come to visit Donnie. You know, that guy. My boyfriend. [she makes a face that says 'duh you idiot'.

Boo: Yeah. He just so happens to play on the same tEAM as me. He JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE MELISSA'S brother. Makes sense, why you'd pick him. [HE GIVES HER A SARCASTIC SHRUG.] Right?! Make REAL sure I know about. See it. [He claps again.] GREAT.

Cilla: I didn't even /know/ he was Melissa brother the first time I met him. It's not all about /you/, Boo. And just... [she shakes her head. She wants to break his hands.] No. You know what? I don't need to explain a n y t h i n g to you.

Boo: Yeah. You were LEAVING anyways. [ eye roll]

Cilla: Nope, that was you. [the face of pure sass.]

Boo: I was here first. [crossing his arms over his chest.]

Cilla: Don't care~. [she does the same.]

Boo: You know what? I can't stand you right now. Really, REALLY hate you right now. [STANDIN THERE ]

Cilla: Now you know how I've felt for months. Congratulations. [SAME.]

Boo: Thanks. REALLY appreCIAte THAT. [YELLIN,]

Cilla: COOL~~~~. YOU'RE WELCOME TO LEAVE NOW. [S C R E A M I N]*

Boo: [He doesn't leave. He doesn't move. He takes one look at her, and the sneer he was sure to have worn softened as he let out a low fit of laughter.] I'm not going anywhere, Cil. I'm still here. And, you know what, when you're done being stubborn, I'm sure I"ll still be mad at you, but I'll be here. [so he walks right up to her, because let's push her buttons, right?] Because, yeah, I hate you so much right now, but you're still the same girl I'm head over heels for. So, you go on. Go on with your life, parade your stupid boyfriend around and you keep telling yourself that it's not about me. Because we both know it is. Otherwise we wouldn't have even had this conversation. Otherwise you still wouldn't be here.

Cilla: [She freezes again, because now he's closer. Much closer, and her alcohol-addled brain is somehow even more jarred by the lack of distance. But, his words still manage to fuel the fire of anger within her, because what right does he have to say all of those things? She managed to pull herself back enough to throw a look of annoyance his way.] Keep telling yourself that it /is/ about you, then, you arrogant asshole. If that's what gets you through, go ahead. But, you know what? It doesn't make you right. Because I feel nothing for you. Not anymore.*

Boo: Nothing? Just like that? Nothing? [So that would have hurt Boo a lot. A whole lot, a couple of months ago, and maybe without the alcohol it would have reverberated within him, but he knew that girl was lying. So he looked at her, and understood her words as a challege. He let out an irriatated sigh, before taking one step closer to her, and without any permission he tested her words. A hand on her waist, he kissed her, just as he had wanted to for the past couple of months--just like he did those months ago in his car-- just as he did under that mistletoe. He kissed her, like it would have been his last kiss on earth, K. Because well, it might as well have been, right?]

Cilla: [She was poised to answer-- ready to tell him, yes, without a doubt, I feel nothing but absolute hatred for you now. You're nothing but a piece of shit, and I didn't deserve what you did. But there was no opportunity for the words to leave her mouth. Because, as soon as she began, his lips were on hers, and her ~inebriated~ legs practically buckled underneath her. And no, she didn't try in any way to push the boy off of her. Nope. She kissed him like she hadn't kissed anybody since... well, the last time she kissed Boo. One might say she's kind of all over him right now.]

Boo: [A fist in the air in his mind, just like the breakfast club, yep, everything she had said, well this proved it completely wrong. So he pulled her closer because why stop? After all this time, after everything, he could still lose himself in that stubborn girl. So arms wrapped tightly around her holding her in palce and lips pressed all too close it happened. Even, with what he had just said to her. Even after all the hurt they had caused each other. It fell all on this really real moment. No matter how drunk she tasted-- it was real. So no, he didn't mind how all over she was on him. Nope, he invited it.]

Cilla: [In the back of her mind, someplace where her logic was still slightly working, something was telling her that her boyfriend was downstairs, and she should stop now, while she was ahead, and she could pass this... lapse of judgement on alcohol and Boo starting it, but... no, that voice was too far away. Why listen to that voice when there was a louder voice telling her to continue. So, what does she do? She listens to the loud voice, and she's got him by the collar, and she's pushing him towards the chair he was sitting in when she came in. Oop, they're down. Oop, she's on top of him. Yikes.]*

Boo: [ So lips on lips, he fell towards the chair, with his hands surely crawling up places they weren't supposed to like, for instance probably under hER SKIRT, he pulled Cilla with him. There was no breaking his hold on her now. There was no stopping him. There was no stopping her, he was sure. And screw the party, screw her boyfriend. screw Melissa. It was just him and Cilla now. And if he had it his way, it would be that way forever. But all things would come to an end he was sure. For the time being however, he would continue to kiss her, even after the door was opened and someone eNTERED THE ROOM.]

Cilla: [For the better part of being in this chair, Cilla's brain actually ceased to function. Like, she was certain there was no activity happening up there, because she literally couldn't think. The only things occupying that space were lips and, whoa HANDS. And, boy did she not mind it at aLL. But then, the sound of a door opening behind her kicked that silent part of her brain into gear, and she realized OH BOY, and she was practically army rolling off of Boo, her face towards the wall so the interruption didn't see her, stayin quiet bc oh geez.]*

Boo: [Before he even had a chance to react to the absence of Cilla, he opened his eyes, and Melissa Thornberry Rocket stared at him from the doorway. He had to catch his breath from, well, Cilla literally taking his breath away and before he was able to take calming inhale, the other girl had her hands acrossed her chest. That look in her face-- that anger shook Boo a little too sober, and he didn't know whether to explain himself, or accept the fact that, yeah, he was walking home that night. So he ran his hands through the hair on his head, because gFDi why didn't he lock the door. He looked up at Cilla, her back facing him, and he had no words.]

Cilla: [Cilla still has no idea of what fate could besET HER SHOULD SHE TURN AROUND RIGHT NOW. SHE IS UNAWARE OF THE DANGER THAT SURROUNDS HER. So, she just keeps herself pointed towards the wall. Practically everyone in this house knew her boyfriend, and therefore, they knew she was DATING him. No matter who it was, if they saw it was her she was s c r e w e d. So, she stayed silent in her little corner, probably burying her face in her knees. Like, nope, you won't see me today sis.]*

Boo: [Before he could even explain what was happening, Miss Rocket had literally stomped out of the room. And what had recently transpired as the most awkward silence in his whole life, the door slammed behind her. He looked up to the ceiling and closed his eyes, got up from his spot, and before taking his leave, he placed a hand on Cilla's shoulder, just lightly as if to ask if she was okay.]*

Cilla: [When she heard the door shut, she didn't get up immediately. But then she felt a hand on her shoulder, and that sprung her to action. Without another word, literally, she was up and out the door (the opposite direction that Melly went in). Because. Nope. Not facing this. Not in this drunken state. Not today. Bye Boo. She's probably ACTUALLY going to the bathroom now.]*

Boo: [So that's when Boo walked out too. Yep, out to find Melissa, because low and behold she was his ride home, and without her, he was going to walk his ass home lol.]

Boo: [And avoiding everyone else, he probably never found her so he did.]

#locked #i dont think i've posted this yet

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warnerbro · 7 years

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NOTHING mEANs EVERything

Boo: [What was she doing there? What in the world was she--- Cilla Dodgeson's blonde hair whipped around the corner, once more, as Boo stuck like glue to the wall. It was the ghost of ex girlfriend past, and of course Donnie's arm was around her. There they were, haunting Boo, as any ghost would; tormenting him. As if supporting Donnie at soccer games wasn't enough. As if kissing that stupid guy in front of him wasn't enough. No, she was haunting him, and making sure he'd remember her and see her face every chance he'd get. Especially at that stupid party. So he took one look at her and scRUNCHED HIS NOSE, AND SCOFFED BEfORE TAKING A NICE GULP OF SOME MIXED DRINK]

Boo: [he wasn't quite seeing double yet. Moments had passed. Beer pong match after pong match. There were some quarters involved with a shot glass, and Melissa had even pulled him away to play a round of flip cup. She was great at distracting him. It worked, but Boo couldn't forget about that blonde-haired girl. Nope. She stayed in the back of hIS mind, and Boo had assumed to the side of a certain Rocket boy. His stomach tied in drunken knots he felt sick at that notion. He was still in control of most of his functions and though he swore he wasn't intoxicated, he could feel his inhibitions escaping to freedom. His eyes scanned the room once more. Melissa was nowhere to be found, and he was on his way to find somewhere to sit down, alone. To think. To escape the embarrassment of how he felt-- ashamed that Cilla wasn't with him and instead with that assclown of a person. He found the perfect place up the stairs and down the hallway.]

Boo: [Boo's sitting in an armchair, his head in his hands and the room is spinning for him as well, but he's not drunk. No. Don't ask him because he'd drive himself home right now, just to prove 'em wrong. It was only a couple of beers. A couple of drinking games. Whatever. He just needed time to himself. Which was interrupted. He looked up at the door, and his eyes fell upon a silent Cilla and he could throw himself out the window right now because why?! So he's going to address her with a real condescending tone. ] You lost, Princess?

Boo: Good job leaving. Congrats. A+ feet you have there. [He claps.] So while I've got you here, you can't just bring yourself to my soccer games, I told you to not to feel obliged to come. Remember?

Cilla: Fuck off, Boo. [iF SHE COULD LEAVE SHE WOULD BUT HER FEET AREN'T WORKING.] You said don't feel obliged to come /for you/. And I'm not.

Cilla: [She does nothing but scoff. Really.] Do you think I keep visiting to hurt you? Really? [clo eyebrow raise.]

Boo: Don't you even pretend this isn't about us. [SCOFF RIGHT BACk.]

Cilla: Crazy enough, I come to visit Donnie. You know, that guy. My boyfriend. [she makes a face that says 'duh you idiot'.

Boo: Yeah. You were LEAVING anyways. [ eye roll]

Cilla: Nope, that was you. [the face of pure sass.]

Boo: I was here first. [crossing his arms over his chest.]

Cilla: Don't care~. [she does the same.]

Boo: You know what? I can't stand you right now. Really, REALLY hate you right now. [STANDIN THERE ]

Cilla: Now you know how I've felt for months. Congratulations. [SAME.]

Boo: Thanks. REALLY appreCIAte THAT. [YELLIN,]

Cilla: COOL~~~~. YOU'RE WELCOME TO LEAVE NOW. [S C R E A M I N]*

Boo: Nothing? Just like that? Nothing? [So that would have hurt Boo a lot. A whole lot, a couple of months ago, and maybe without the alcohol it would have reverberated within him, but he knew that girl was lying. So he looked at her, and understood her words as a challemge. He let out an irratated sigh, before taking one step closer to her, and without any permission he tested her words. A hand on her waist, he kissed her, just as he had wanted to for the past couple of months--just like he did those months ago in his car-- just as he did under that mistletoe. He kissed her, like it would have been his last kiss on earth, K. Because well, it might as well have been, right?]

Boo: [A fist in the air in his mind, just like the breakfast club, yep, everything she had said, well this proved it completely wrong. So he pulled her closer because why stop? After all this time, after everything, he could still lose himself in that stubborn girl. So arms wrapped tightly around her holding her in place and lips pressed all too close. it happened. Even, with what he had just said to her. Even after all the hurt they had caused each other. It fell all on this really real moment. No matter how drunk she tasted-- it was real. So no, he didn't mind how all over she was on him. Nope, he invited it.]

Boo: [Before he even had a chance to react to the absence of Cilla, he opened his eyes, and Melissa Thornberry Rocket stared at him from the doorway. He had to catch his breath from, well, Cilla literally taking his breath away and before he was able to take calming inhale, the other girl had her hands across her chest. That look in her face-- that anger shook Boo a little too sober, and he didn't know whether to explain himself, or accept the fact that, yeah, he was walking home that night. So he ran his hands through the hair on his head, because gFDi why didn't he lock the door. He looked up at Cilla, her back facing him, and he had no words.]

Boo: [So that's when Boo walked out too. Yep, out to find Melissa, because low and behold she was his ride home, and without her, he was going to walk his ass home lol. And avoiding everyone else, he probably never found her so he did.]

#locked

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