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scoonsalicious · 1 month

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OKAY I'M HERE. Sorry, I'm late. Funnily enough, we're on opposite sides of the world so your update time is waaaayyy too early in the morning for me so I usually read it when I wake up (shocking I know, digesting this traumatic but amazing masterpiece early in the morning) but since school has started up again and I have morning classes I haven't been able to. So do expect my reports to be a lil later than usual. ANYWAYS ENOUGH ABOUT ME.

Let's start with Steve and Pocket. I totally forgot that both of them were under the influence during that time and while they did get a little frisky (I also find it so funny how Pocket doesn't have much of a reaction. it was all Steve. It was as if she already knew she could never orgasm with this man. like homegirl was dry during that I just know it) I'm glad they didn't go far and were able to actually realize how much of a mistake it would've been because not only for obvious reasons like that's your ex's best friend but also the intoxicated thing. It wouldn't have done any good to Poxket's mental state es; especially knowing Steve's feelings. But hey, he stopped it. Literally the bare minimum for any man but the bar currently in hell (looking at you Benson) so. Good on Steveioli.

Now with the heart-to-heart, I'm so glad Pocket was able to unload all that and actually have a good cry for once. And, for Steve, as much as I still find him kinda fishy (I still do think he has a hand in ruining their relationship, that he isn't as innocent or this knight and shining savior that he's showing. I just know Steve did something and pulled some strings so i don't trust him fully yet), he made some very good points. I do agree with what he said about Bentley. We can only really imagine what he went through with Hydra. And the point too where there are some parts Bison himself doesn't remember at all but his body and psyche do. We can sympathise and everything but we never truly understand it. Do I think Josiah is the only person who understands? I don't think so either. Not to discredit her experience or whatever but I don't think what she went through was entirely the same or close because I still do think she's still a spy got them (maybe that's me not liking her lol). But the fact is, she's the closest person who could understand, in Brennon's eyes anyway. Does that excuse everything he's done? Absolutely fucking not. But does that information change how I judge him? Of course. I still truly believe that there's more to this onion (because layers ha ha) than meets the eye. He still fucking fucked up and he still has so much work to do on himself before he can even have the chance to earn Pocket's trust again. But I can give him some grace, and understand that his mind probably wasn't in the best place at that time which led to bad decisions.

I saw some people claiming that Blair never truly loved Pocket, and while I can see why that seems to be the fact because he does have a shitty way of showing it, sometimes, we can't stop ourselves from hurting the people we love (to an extent obvs. if they cheat & are abusive & toxic etc. leave their ass. but again, in the context of the fic, it's definitely more complicated than that). That's just reality. But what truly matters is what we do after the fact. Not that it makes it okay, I'm not saying that at all. It's still not an excuse to hurt people and be a shitty person. What I mean is that not everything is as black & white as it seems. In this case, there's no such thing as 100% evil and 100% good (except Judas who has a special place in hell). These are flawed, broken, and complicated characters, and you the amazing writer has shown that greatly. So we should all take that into account instead of just saying this person is 100% wrong so he deserves to die, or This person is 100% right so I'm just going to support everything they're doing no matter the consequences even if it hurts other people. So I do think he truly and utterly loves Pocket with everything that he is, but when you've got someone who's out of his time, has so many issues, isn't in the best mental and emotional state, has been through so much trauma and has self-destructive tendencies, do we really think he knows what to do with such a powerful emotion? Better yet, he does love her, but in this case, it's just not enough. Love isn't the only thing that keeps a relationship healthy after all. But I will say, that love will also be the one that will push him to do better.

Now, with Mr. Bunana and his Audacity to barge onto Pocket like that. The hypocrisy is outstanding. Gold medal worthy. But then again, he did see them leave the party after basically humping each other on the dance floor, he did see Steve leave her bedroom and he did see Pocket in Steve's shirt. When you're already insecure as hell and have fucked up one too many times, I can't blame him for jumping to conclusions. I also can see how distraught he was though, and not to be mean, but he does kinda need this for him to wake the fuck up. And again, the audacity to cause a whole scene about it too as if he has any right. But, unpopular opinion, I don't see an asshole at all. I see a broken man who's spiraling out of control and is hitting rock bottom as we speak. He's grasping at straws, he has no idea what to do with himself, and he's lost everything, and for a man who's been at war for the last 70 years, what's the one thing he knows best? Fighting. So, he fights.

The toxic masculinity was so on point. When Pocket picked up the water I was cheering this whole time lmao. Absolute wild animals these men sometimes. She honestly should just have a spray bottle in hand, spray them when they act up. Also, that line about where's Steve hand was made me CACKLE. Like yes queen. They deserve to break each other's face a lil for thinking they can decide for Pocket and what she does with her body honestly.

Lastly, because goodness me this is long. We're off on this mission, and I really do share Tony's concerns (and he's so sweet and caring about Pocket. I'm glad he's by her side. Also can't wait to see how they met!) This mission is going to take a toll on Pocket more than she's going to expect. She's using this as a distraction with what's been going on recently, and that's not good. Because I don't think she fully realises the gravity of what she's about to go into. I'm thankful that Sam is there. But I just know, something about this mission is going to go so bad for Pocket. Maybe not physically, and the mission would end up a success, but mentally and emotionally? ESPECIALLY when she's already on a fragile state right now? Sigh. I won't like it, but shit about to hit all the fans.

Anyway. You're amazing as always. I always enjoy getting to pick at the details of your writing and it makes me giddy with excitement that I actually manage to nail some points hahaha. Keep doing what you're doing and don't forget to take care of yourself!

P.S. I love Sam and Pocket's friendship. I need more of them being best buds please and thanks.

— Jnon 🤍

Beloved Jnon, Please do not apologize for being "late!" It actually worked out in my favor, as I have been staying up too long into the night to respond to you, so this actually works well, because it's mid-day here and I actually got some sleep. Not enough, but I'm working on it lol. Reading Unwanted first thing in the morning sounds like a rough way to start your day! All the angst!

Yeah, Pocket had absolutely no reaction with Steve, lol. It was seriously all the MDMA, making her crave physical touch, and when she kind of came down more to herself and realized it was Steveoli who was doing the touching? Well, let's just say it was dryer than the Sahara down there, lol. Ah, the little details that don't make it into the finished work! I can confidently say though, that if Pocket hadn't stopped it, herself, Steve most definitely would not have. Steve needed to hear Pocket break down in front of him, to see how she was affected by all of this. It was a wakeup call for him, and it allowed me to say some of the stuff I wanted to say about Bucky's state of mind without having Bucky say it himself (because who could believe him?!?) In later chapters, we'll get some first-hand insight into what kind of experience Juggalo had with Hydra, herself, and how those experiences shaped her connection with Barnstormer (intentionally vague wording here). I so fucking love how you are on the same page with me re: Bucky's mental state and motivations. Fucking love it.

And he is 100% flawed in this fic. He's trying to navigate this new world he doesn't understand, with all these sexual and social rules he doesn't understand. And I'd like to take a moment to point out that, in my timeline, Bucky has maybe spent a fraction of the time in Wakanda that he does in the MCU. Like, right now, in the story, it's about 2019-ish, meaning our Bucket left Wakanda sometime in 2017, probably less than a year after the events of Civil War, meaning that our Bucky has not done NEARLY as much mental healing as Canon!Bucky. So, when Canon!Bucky tells Cap that he's a "semi-stable 100 year old man" in Infinity War (which I just rewatched last night for Unbroken research!), our Bucket is even less so.

Right now, if there's one thing he's absolutely sure of, it's that he loves Pocket. But you're right, love is not longer enough here. Not for the two of them, not any more. Pocket's already realized that, and Bucket's just starting to.

Let's talk Bucky Barnes and the Audacity of this Bitch! When he barged into Pocket's room to accuse her of sleeping with Steve, he definitely wasn't thinking about what he'd done. He was thinking about confronting evidence of the worst thing he could imagine. It was one thing for him to conjure up the idea in his head, but it's driving him absolutely crazy to see physical evidence of it with his own eyes (even if its just circumstantial physical evidence!). I want to say, though, that even after he thought they slept together after her party, HE DID NOT go running to Jackrabbit for comfort-- I think that's progress! :D Right now, all he knows is how to fight, and how to hurt-- himself, and other people. It's all he's done for 75 years. Pocket was beyond livid over the two of them fighting about her, without really seeming to care about her-- just who got access to her body. Girl lived that life too long as a child; she was done with it long ago. I do like to imagine, though, that after she and Sam left, Bucky and Steve started fighting again, but this time they're all wet from being dowsed in water, so their shirts are sticking to them, and the fight is very homoerotic.... Finally, Tony's concerns for Pocket are very, very valid. He's kind of forcing her to regress, and he's really scared about what that might do to her mentally. Not to mention, she's putting herself in a dangerous position where women are being kidnapped and trafficked. He's got the utmost faith in her; it's just everyone else he doesn't trust. I love getting your messages, I love discussing the story with you! It makes me so happy! I promise there's one more good Sam/Pocket scene!

#Unwanted #jnon report

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narcissa-black-supermacy · 2 years

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I’ve literally never read a James/Regulus fic, I only recently got half into HP and it wasn’t popular when I was last in it (also, hilarious to me how popular it is when we’ve got 0 canon interactions between James and Regulus, just pure comedic gold right there), but nobody can convince me that Sirius would not be the third person to learn about the relationship, only after James and Regulus themselves. James is his best friend, James literally trusted Sirius above all others in canon and put his family’s lives in Sirius’s hands, they are canonically referred to as a “double act” and “inseparable,” I’m expected to believe James wouldn’t immediately tell Sirius he’s dating his brother the second he realized this was a serious thing? Regulus is Sirius’s little brother, I’m expected to believe Regulus wouldn’t automatically want Sirius’s approval in his relationship? That post about James and Regulus both thinking of Sirius in their last moments is 100% right

My main issues with modern Jegulus(tm) are:

the sabotage of James' and Sirius' canon brotherhood and friendship as their closest bond for the sake of the ship (also my issue with a lot of wolfstar, but that's another point for another post)

the sabotage of Sirius and Regulus' relationship as a stand-alone, complicated bond independent from James, which has existed 10 years before Sirius even met him

the "Siriusification" of Regulus. see common Jegulus(tm) tropes: Regulus running away (?? can't stand this one don't get me started), Regulus being forced to take the Mark, Regulus having an equally bad relationship with his parents

James and Regulus keeping it a secret from Sirius in the long-term

the woobification of them both and stripping their character of any nuance. see common Jegulus(tm) characterisations: James as a careless happy golden retriever with no negative flaws (vs canon James being a borderline bully [another rant incoming about the use of this word for him, bare with me]), Regulus as a sad depressed damsel in distress that needs saving (vs the Heir of Black, highly respected among his peers, the boy who discovered Horcruxes all by himself at the age of 18)

I am willing to drop any fic, no matter how good it is, over any one of these points. And it is nearly impossible to find a Jegulus fic today that doesn't have at least one of the above, hence: endless suffering for picky me.

Shameless self-promotion right here, but I am working right now on a long Jegulus war fic (Lethe) that is everything I have ever wanted to read and never found anywhere. I am going to start posting it soon this month, and tbh I'm not really expecting anyone but me to fully read it, but if you feel like you agree with what I'm talking about it, I think you might enjoy it

#asks #jegulus #jegulus(tm)#james/regulus vs jegulus(tm)#the jegulus(tm) manifesto

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rosesanthology · 4 years

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Across time | Akaashi Keiji x F!reader [soulmate!AU]

for this one i tried a little bit of world building to put more context into some stuff as i suck at accurate and realistic historical aeras, this ended up being WAY longer than planned oof also YES i 100% took the well idea from Inuyasha👉🏽👈🏽

- Moeru Fukuro means blazing owl

- au where the reader finds themselves enamored far beyond the limits of alternate timeline and universes

[Tags] : @raevaioli @chenle @lcaita and @lceiji

- it was all because of a stupid dare

- it's a shame you agreed to do anything when more than 50$ were on the line (O.O)

- your friends from high school thought it seemed like SUCH a good idea to dare you to spend 3 hours in the woods next to your house in exchange for 60$

- the 3 hours of course starting from midnight

- but you weren't one to back down from that kind of stuff

- no sir

- the only thing you had to do was to wait by the abandoned well surrounded by trees without anything to distract you (you trusted them with your phone anyway)

- tonight wasn't even that cold anyway

-so here you were, waiting for time to pass as you listened to the sounds around you

- you found it absolutly mesmerizing, how everything around you had its own identity through the sounds made

- you had always felt calmer in moments like these, by yourself at nighttime, just taking everything in

- you had been to this well many times before, the old lady who lived accross from your appartment told you that it was used as a wishing well most of the time

- she spoke of how many people through the times had thrown coins into the unsettling darkness of the pit and wished for true love and stuff like that

- the other day, you had found her there and she told you about how that very same well helped her meet her soulmate

- you hardly believed her

- the wishing part ? Okay. It's a normal thing to throw coins into fountains and wells and pray for things. But soulmates ? That seemed like a reach

- so you felt pretty dumb for staring into the dark pit of most likely freezing water as intensely

- you also felt pretty dumb for making sure that you brought a coin with you on this outting

- okay maybe......the idea of finding your soulmate was not so repulsive.... (◡‿◡✿)

- you didn't hope it would work too hard but still.....just sayin that it would be nice

- so, you threw the coin, listening to its sound as it came in contact with the water at the bottom after a long fall and you started praying

- "i don't really know how this is supposed to be done but....if the stories are true can i please meet the love of my life ? If not possible i also accept checks and cash (▰˘◡˘▰)"

- you didn't really mean the money part

- but you know.....getting rich isn't that bad

- at that moment you felt smart for bringing a hoodie because ???? The wind was extremely strong all of a sudden like ?? Sheesh

- you were about to sit down and cuddle into your hoodie for warmth but then u SWORE U HEARD A VOICE COMING FROM THE WELL

- and you aint crazy but you're about dumb enough to lean your head above the opening to hear better

- i think you know where this is going....

- the wind's strength had you tumbling down the well in no time

- time seemed to slow down as you plummeted toward the surface of the water

- soon you came in contact with it, cold soaking your clothes and hurting all the way to your bones. You could see the moon thru the suprisingly clear water as well as the bubbles from your last reserve of air, all this caused you to pass out.

- in the capital of the kingdom MoeruFukuro, they were many things ; from kind townfolks, to golden rice paddies and from a gorgeous royal castle to roaming forest demons

- you heard me right

- the lands around were infested by demons and spirited who manifested at night, some benevolant and others not so much

- thankfully for the royal priest Tsukishima's magical talismans placed all around the town, the people could leave in peace, the malignant creatures knowing better than trying to overcome the spells

- the capital could pride itself all around the country for having ones of the most powerful and smart array of people there ever were in addition to being prosperous from the folks' trade businesses

- for example, in the royal palace, you could find as forementionned priest and mage; Tsukishima Kei, legend has it that he was blessed by Kaguya, the goddess of the moon herself in order to have such knowledge of spells

- there was also General Kuroo Tetsurou, who had his fair share of tales and admirers alike, the biggest one being the one in which he had saved a thousand men from a demon by sacrificing himself, earning its respect and protection in battle

- obviously there was the crowned prince, Bokuto Koutaro. Well he might seem a little air headed and childish at first sight but he takes his duties very seriously even if they consist in little things such as gathering the peoples' eventual complaints himself, some people going as far as saying that he is the closest thing to a god on earth

- and then, wherever Bokuto went, it would be near impossible to forget about his right arm and advisor, the wise and renowned astronomer Akaashi Keiji. If Tsukishima had been blessed by the moon goddess then many people believed that Akaashi was the one who tought Omoikane, god of wisdom and intelligence himself, everything he knew. He was everything people wished they were, calm, good looking, creative, reasonable and intelligent beyond mesure. No wonder he was the one Bokuto trusted the most by his side

- studying the sky also brought Akaashi much knowledge on seasons and the movements of stars and such, providing help to both the people and Tsukishima

- Akaashi did not live in the castle however, well technically yes but he did have a workshop of his own a bit farther in the territory, where he could dedicate himself to staring at the night sky he loved so very very much from his makeshift observatory/rooftop

- he also had a lovely well near his observation tower that Tsukishima had passive agressively insisted on cleansing for him (>.<)

- so there he was, in this particularly enchanting night

- something about that full moon, shining stars and clear sky just about almost got some tears out of him

- but he was interrupted when he heard a low growl from beneath his observation tower

- naturally he looked down to where it came from and saw a fire fox spirit inching suspiciously close to an unconscious girl on the ground near the well

- the demons avoided the talismans yes but that far from the heart of the city trickster spirits and ghouls could just about do as much chaos as they pleased

- rushing to get down, Akaashi took his bow and arrows ready to get rid of the spirit and make sure the girl, no matter how strange her clothes looked like, was safe

- it was fast work, his arrows reaped through the night air seemingly at lighting speed and quickly made the spirit disappear

- muttering a small banishing prayer he picked up the passed out girl and brought her on top of his observatory

- she was dry but she was still shivering from the cold

- "she must not be used to the cold" thought the young astronomer, taking off his haori to put on top of her frame and sitting down next to her, looking downwards at her now relaxed features

- he did not know why he brought her up there but right now it just felt right. So he went on with looking at the sky, resting his hands flat on the ground near his sides

- you were awake, enough to feel a warmth next to you but not enough to open your eyes yet

- you thought that you'd fallen asleep after making the wish and that your friends had carried you back to your room or something

- but it was to cold to be true

- you peaked slightly from between your lashes and were met with a GORGEOUS night sky

- usually in your city, the sky was too polluted to be able to see that many

- and the full moon seemed closer than usual, bewitching, enchanting, almost asking you to come to her, so in a way you did

- now fully awake, you outstretched your hand toward the celestial body, not really thinking in the moment

- "you're awake ! How are you feeling ?" said a silvery soft voice, almost similar to a whisper

- so similar you thought that you were still dreaming as it was the same one you've heard before imagining falling into the well

- your train of thought was quickly cut short by the feeling of warm hands around your own outstreched one

- oh this was definitly real

- you sat up im a swift movement, looking around you and only seeing trees and rice paddies, as well as the lights of a town in the distance

- you almost didn't hear the man's voice over your own rapidly beating heart

- almost

- "Everything's okay now, calm down" he said, probably noticing your panic and rubbing his thumb over your knuckles

- his words seemed to immediatly sink into your very soul at the second they came out of his mouth, and worst is that you thought that if it meant to be marked in such a way you would be glad to have your soul inked all over with just his words

- but you still didn't know him so you kept that thought to yourself

- "who are you and where am i ?" Your voice was so shaky and your mind so foggy that you weren't even sure if they ever made it out of your throat

- but Akaashi heard you loud and clearer than anything before, just touching your hand had seemed like such a common task but the needle like sensation that ran up his whole arm begged to differ, he regained his composure fast though

- "my name's Akaashi Keiji and you're in the kingdom of MoeruFukuro" he made sure to speak as softly as possible, never letting go of your hand, fearing that maybe, if he let go you would disappear back into the wind

- ".....my name's Y/N L/N....listen i don't think im supposed to be here- well more like...now"

- "what do you mean ?"

- and so you explained to him how you actually came from the 21st century in what you could only assume to be another timeline and universe, trying to sound as calm as possible

- because well, you weren't dumb, and castle as "cool and fantasy anime looking like that" were not so common

- Akaashi kept drinking in your voice, painfully aware of every movement of your face, every little speaking quirk and tones, never breaking contact

- he was fast in reassuring you on his own world, he spoke of his life, of his friends and of the castle, not leaving out the fact that demons and spirits were a common factor, carefully choosing his phrasing and explaining with the most concise words

- explaining so well that you felt as if you already knew all these things, deep in yourself

- and time passed

- you soon found yourself laying on you back, fingers still intertwined with the royal astronomer, talking about your lives, as if you were desperatly but as easily as breathing trying to make the other remember your existence, trying to get a part of your souls back

- the silence of the night made your voices reach the other in an almost pieircing melody, the deep blue and silver sky as your only witness of this moment

- "so you're an astronomer right.....why do you like the stars so much Keiji ?"

- oh man did he love hearing you say his name, it sounded like the rarest music he's ever heard coming from you

- "i guess it just comes easily to me....i've never felt lonely in the castle, my friends are supportive and strong even though i've never been particularly good with people....when i come here for reasons other than work and stare at the sky, it feels like im finally walking in my own feelings, finally able to search for something that i somehow always wanted..."

- he turned to your face and swore that he saw many more stars in your eyes than he has in his whole life and continued on

- " it feels- it felt like trying to find a part myself that had been fragmented and thrown into the universe....a part of myself that was very much more human than i thought"

- "oh" was all you could muster between that and the flood of feelings that was inside your heart

- you felt like you were running out of time.

- you felt like you had to make the most out of this precise instant.

- you suddenly jerked up, making Akaashi jump at the sudden move

- he sat up with you, facing you, unsure of what that was all about

- " Keiji !" You said, full of determination despite the advanced hour of the night, and when he nodded and smiled, humming slightly as response you took it as your greenlight to continue

- " Let's find each other again ! Whether it be in this life or another ! We're bounded together now and im sure whichever gods brought me to you will make it happen again no matter what. So you have to promise me before it's too late....don't forget about me !"

- Akaashi's eyes bore into yours with as much intensity as yours and returning the smile you wore on your face

- he let go off your hand for the first time that night and you felt as if an invisible countdown just started somewhere

- he took of a teal and marine blue colored thread bracelet that he wore and put in on your wrist, it had a small crescent moon symbol made of nacre on it....how in character

- how....him

- "there. That way i won't ever forget you. I sure hope you don't forget about me either"

- the last thing your remembered was the gorgeous yet so undoubtfully sad smile of the astronomer before waking up, warm, in your own bed

- you looked around in a hurry and little did you know, you were back into your appartment's bedroom

- you figured it was just a dream

- and yet your heart was still beating against your ribcage and tears were stinging your eyes

- you looked at your phone to check the time since the sun had already went up and your eyes fell on the bracelet you were wearing on your wrist

- you wasted no time in DASHING out of your appartment straight to the old lady's, well too aware that what had happened last night was definitely not a dream

- as you rung the doorbell you were too busy trying to calm your heart that was still trying to beat out of your chest to hear an all too familiar voice from inside the appartment saying "i'll take this"

- the door opened and you almost fainted

- "hi ! Im Akaashi Keiji your new neighbor from next door.....have we met before ?"

#okay im actually quite proud of this one #AT SOME POINT I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED A WHOLE PARTY AND HAD TO REWRITE IT SO PLEASE #HAVE MERCY #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #akaashi haikyuu #akaashi keiji x reader #akaashi hcs #akaashi imagine #akaashi angst #akaashi au

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insugarush · 7 years

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Prelude Part II: Wings Tour in Seoul 18th & 19th February 2017---The Process

Masterlist

Prelude Part I

Prelude Part II: Wings Tour in Seoul 18th & 19th February 2017

Part 2: The Process: Bias, Accommodation, Permission, Tickets, Visa, Letters—In that order!

Now that I was an established and a very public Army (my family couldn't fathom my obsession—they still don't—but it was no secret) like everybody else, I was devouring the endless content BTS and BigHit keep us happy with, constantly. 24/7. They would make my day brighter. Bring a smile to my face. Make me laugh out loud. Make me tear up. All in front of my laptop. YouTube was my new best friend and I carried around electronics wherever I went because come on—it becomes an addiction and you start getting withdrawal symptoms when you go even a day without them! I am not the fan-girling type, but boy oh boy, did BTS convert me and convert me hard! They have this special gift of making each and every one feel so up close and personal with them. I’m sure I’m not alone in thinking this..they brought out this protectiveness in me that I only reserve for my closest and bestest friends. I wished the best for them, wished to protect them, wished to do things to help them.

I was so upset when I came across that video of RapMon and Yoongi being dissed by Bfree or whoever the hell he was.

Lets not even talk about Flower Boy Crew or whatever, one look at Kookie’s face on an article that spoke about his mistreatment and I refused to watch it.

It still makes my blood boil. Sometimes, I stay up thinking of ways to exact revenge on those assholes, excuse my French. Ugh. Anyway. Moving on.

What I’m trying to say is, the connection was real and intense and unbreakable right from the get go.

Lets take a moment to talk about biases because it's a rite of passage isn’t it? One has a bias. One loves all 7 babies equally, but one always, always, always has a bias that makes one’s knees weak. It may come as a surprise to you (my name is insugarush after all), but my chosen bias within the first few weeks of being a newborn Army was Jungkook.

He was cute and his moves mesmerized me and there were endless videos about how adorable he is and also contradictingly manly and oh-so-talented and he likes Noonas (yayy small victory there) The Golden Maknae had caught my attention and I was pretty sure that would be it. I remember being annoyed at Suga while watched Summer Package thinking “Why is he so lazy” “why is he so sleepy and grumpy” “Jungkook is so cool” “He hardly even has footage”

This was before, of course, I knew about how hard he worked and all his issues. All older Armys will remember Suga used to get little footage earlier even in variety shows as compared to the rest of the boys, probably because in the pre AgustD era he used to be more reserved and just generally more quiet and not this funny, spontaneous, carefree, fun person we see today (touch wood) (may God always keep him this happy and give him more and more reasons to be with every passing day)

But this is what I tell people. I didn't choose Yoongi, Yoongi chose me. Much like life and fate and other small, inexplicable things that ultimately come together to form the bigger picture. I don't know how it happened, during which show or concert or bomb, but way before the BST comeback, suddenly, my radar picked up on Yoongi. I couldn't look past Yoongi. Everyone else faded into the background and it was just Yoongi Yoongi Yoongi for me. All his charms came to the forefront and suddenly the same videos I watched and got annoyed at earlier now became super-duper cute and I just entered this black hole and just…you get the point. He destroyed me. Ruined me for life. It was 2 weeks of Jungkook and then Yoongi was like “bitch look at me” and I was a goner. He STOLE my heart people. STOLE it. And now its his forever. <sigh>

Sliding into my bias list like.

Anyway. I had made up my mind. BTS was true love. I had to see it till the end. The moment even just the rumours started circulating about their world tour, I promised myself I would attend one of their concerts. I promised myself I would make it work somehow! Do what it takes. Go wherever it’s easiest to get permission. I think that was still around their comeback sometime in October, because there was no official announcement yet.

Once it was announced the easiest target for me was LA. I had family there and visa, and also a fellow Army cousin sister, so it was literally just about booking the flight and getting the concert tickets, everything else would be taken care of, and my parents would be satisfied. This happened on 19th November. As expected it was easy to get permission from my family, and I got super-duper excited because I really thought this is gonna happen! What I didn’t expect was issues cropping from my family there..it seemed they wouldn't be around at that time etc etc…my heart was broken people. Into a million tiny pieces. Its one thing knowing you can never go, but another getting so close to going, seeing literally everything work out, and then having to cut out that dream and throw it away again. My family tried to make me feel better saying there would be a next time and there are so many concerts to come but I was sad. For exactly 2 days. Lol.

Like I said, I don’t give up. For a moment, I considered trying for Newark. Same country, different coast, but I had friends so it might work. Worth a shot! I was desperate. I just didn’t want to give up. The next day I got talking to another cousin whose in Dubai and we decided amongst ourselves that it was now or never. Forget anywhere else, we MUST go to Seoul for this. There would be more concerts, true, but this in particular was a special one! This one had all the boys’ solos and it was a next step, the end of one era and the beginning of a new one and the first concert was in Seoul. We must go. And it HAS to be Seoul because we have noticed the level of interaction the boys have with KArmys (obviously because of no language barrier—though int Armys get their own perks in their concerts)

21st November I booked accommodation online on my credit card. I didn't tell a soul, just me and my cousin, without permission, without tickets, flight OR concert—just pure faith that I need to make this work. The only thing on my mind was---people will flood the city and even if we get permission and tickets and visa, maybe there would be no room for us in Seoul because everything would be sold out! Lol. The mind is funny when it panics. Of course the whole city wouldn't have been sold out! It was a BTS Concert, not Olympics! But in my mind it was just as big, if not bigger.

I made sure I booked rooms that can be paid at a later date, took a wild guess at the dates (we had the tour dates I just booked 2 days before to 2 after) and it came down to $1000 for 2 rooms, max 5 people. Not a bad deal if you do the math!

Permission. Now this was a whole other ordeal. If most of you reading this are from India, like me, then you know this is not normal yet. Letting your daughter travel all the way to another part of the world just for a concert, to watch 7 boys you don’t know of, just doesn’t happen! All I can say is, I worked hard people. I concentrated on not making my parents angry. Doing whatever they wanted. Missed out on things I wanted to do so that I do what they want of me. When I was in sufficiently good books, broke the news to them that this was the goal I was working towards. I’m not the type to ask my parents for things, they could see how badly I wanted this. “No way” my dad had said. “I am not sending you to another country alone just with another cousin sister.” He did get convinced finally when I added desperately that my cousin’s mom might be joining us too (she had no plans but it sort of became a conditional permission) I promised him I would pay for my accommodation, concert tickets and any expenses on my own. All I need from him is permission and air tickets. Lol. This is how we compromise people! I didn’t dare breathe a word about how I had gone ahead and booked accommodation without his knowledge. What he doesn't know won’t hurt him! :P

Concert Tickets. This made me cry. I am not kidding. This was the most stressful part of this entire ordeal. I kept reminding myself how much I love BTS and how this will all be worth it in the end. I give 100% credit to my cousin sister, who btw, hadn't even taken permission from her own folks yet, but worked with everything she’s got to secure tickets.

First we tried the normal way. The date and time were out, the website was in Korean, but still accessible. I got one of my best friends who also happens to be a Korean to help me out. She lives in New York but she agreed to wake up at 4am to book our tickets for us..I filled her in (“BTS? Now who are they? Are you over Kim Hyun Joong? Park Bo Gum too? Good Lord you are not faithful”) We did a trial run before the actual day of booking. We navigated the page, downloaded the app, etc etc. We decided the 3 of us would try and book together from India, Dubai and New York, and whoever gets through, great! I had heard horror stories about tickets being sold out in minutes and didn’t want to risk it. I was fully aware that I would cancel all my plans if I didn’t get tickets.

On the day of the tickets opening up for sale to the general public, I was traveling. In the middle of nowhere. Somewhere around Mysore Palace to be exact. Everyone reading this from India knows we are not that lucky with internet, specially on the highways atop mountains, but I was carrying my stuff. We were out with another family and everyone was very hyped about this. One of the boys had asked me, “Who ARE these people that you’re going all the way to Korea to see?” I am proud to say I made an Army fanboy right there once I made him listen to Fire and then Dope. I prefer making people listen to the songs first so they don’t judge on the basis of appearances.

My throat was dry and my heart was pounding, I had everything ready—laptop, net, credit card. My friend from NY on the other phone with me, we’re all waiting for the sale to open. The minute it happened, all 3 of us on 3 laptops in 3 different corners of the world started frantically trying to buy tickets. We wanted the stands, BTS only. We all made it as far as seat selection page, but after that it just. wont. budge. For all of us! We tried and tried. I thought maybe it's the internet. I did everything I could! But the seats just wouldn't get selected. I saw the seats dwindle IN FRONT OF MY EYES. It went from 300 seats available to 150 available to 50 available to 10 available to finally---sold out. I called up New York and Dubai hoping and praying they have something—nope. Same story everywhere. I wanted to cry. I was just broken. I mean..I had done everything possible, but it just didn't happen. It dint work for all of us! At the same time! What does this even mean?!

I was so sad. Like so sad. I remember everyone trying to cheer me up, and me just reigning in my tears because we were traveling with another family. I couldn't even grieve properly. I just left that to it but refused to cancel my hotel yet. I could cancel in Feb without being charged so I just..left it. Mostly because it would break my heart to do it.

Unable to make the selection after coming this far--^

The next day we got information that some tickets are going on re-sale on the same website at midnight. AGAIN we sat. Again we got stuck at the same place. Again we saw the numbers dwindle and dwindle till they got sold out. Again. Now I was beyond frustrated. How can this happen 2 times in a row?! How have the others got their tickets?! What are we doing wrong?!

I realised too late it was probably a website thing, we should have tried the app the second day. Just didn't strike me till the tickets got sold out again right in front of my eyes! That helplessness and frustration is something I can never forget. And I felt worse when I realized the solution, just 5 minutes too late. Should have used the bloody App.

This time instead of being sad, I was filled with anger and determination. I’m gonna do this somehow, I vowed to myself. This was mid December already. My cousin sister and I started working on finding re-sellers on Twitter and on the Korean re-sale sites. We tried KoreanBuddy, koreanshoppingservice..dude I don’t even remember! I just remember a lot of Korean websites, Google Translate and Stress, that's all. We did our research, checked up blogs on how buy re-sale tickets, what to look for to find out if it's a fraud etc etc. We found a legit site called TicketBay and a bunch of people selling at insane prices ($400 for a $100 ticket) and finally decided on one seller and bought 2 tickets. This is January 10th already..the concert is a month away, and we’re still buying tickets. No one at home knows about this yet. My cousin did all the leg work..many people backed out, many people asked for payments in advance. We got lucky that the only girl we paid in advance turned out to be true, we were desperate at that point and only wanted to score tickets. I had decided even if it's a loss, it would be a secret I would take to my grave. Once we secured that, we became more relaxed. The girl was to meet us 1 day before the concert and hand over tickets, she seemed honest and sent loads and loads of proof before we took that leap of faith! I would strongly advise better decision making abilities people. We got lucky. We sent her money on PayPal, she could have turned out to be a fraud and run away with it and couldn't have been able to do jack..but again, we got lucky.

Just so you guys get a modicum of an idea about how messy this thing was:

Kind of proof to expect:

Trying our luck everywhere:

Being suspicious little bitches because come on--money!

Just an idea of how frustrating it all was:

Then we started actively working on Air Tickets and packing. Now my cousin decided to START getting permission, lol. It was much more stressful for her, she’s younger and it was a long and drawn out process, but she managed finally. Her mom and sister wanted to come along too, so that worked out for all of us! I’m glad I hadn’t cancelled my 5 seater accommodation in December! But Air ticket prices had shot up, and I ended up paying $1200 for my tickets instead of $600, which I could have if I had booked earlier. But I was waiting for at least concert tickets and my cousin to sort out her permission issues!

An idea of my packing list:

All of January was very, very stressful. Trying to find re-sellers is a pain, and trying to figure out if they are legit is even worse. Everyone had their own demands. Some we could and some we couldn't meet. Someway down the line we decided that now that we’re going all the way to Seoul to actually watch the boys, it would be a shame to just go one day. And hence the whole process of looking for more tickets re-started! Ugh. Ugly! But now that at least 1 pair was secured, we were okay with people wanting upfront payments on the day of the concerts and meeting us outside etc etc…worse comes to worst, they would ditch, but at least we would still have our money with us! One girl did ditch us btw. She suddenly stopped replying on 19th morning, on the DAY of the second concert, but thankfully my cousin had another back up contact lined up. Seriously, kudos to her! She managed the tickets on her own.

In total I ended up paying $600 for 2 tickets for both days as late as late as January 16th, that was just me. My cousin paid additional for her 2 tickets! The first pair of tickets we got delivered to my cousin’s friend in Korea, even that BigHit sent out the physical tickets so damn late (10th or 11th February I think?) that our hearts found no rest till the tickets were in our friend’s hands! We picked those for 18th up on 17th night, and additional 2 tickets with upfront payment for the 19th also the same night. Another extra ticket 19th morning, just before we entered the arena for the second day.

A picture of the delivered ticket that finally put us at ease!

It was sticky and messy and oh-so-stressful, I just remember being constantly stressed right from December to February when I actually left. Of course worth it in the end when we got to see the boys, but I strongly recommend downloading the app and using it every damn day if you have to, just get familiar with it (Interpark) so when the time comes you are prepared about how to buy your own BTS tickets at stock price!

I’m glad I got to see the boys but I could have easily saved $1000---which would have meant that much more merchandise or maybe even an additional concert in the nearer countries if I was feeling a little too ambitious with my parents and permission! :P

We hardly had a week to go before leaving for Seoul now, and that was mostly spent in trying out outfits to pack, making itineraries (I have done extensive research guys, please ask me what you want to know, I can probably become a guide in Seoul if I want by now). I listed down things I wanted to do/places I wanted to visit/food I wanted to try, area wise in my diary. Which mode of transportation to take, which card to buy that would work on Subways---etc etc. I sort of tried taking responsibility for this because my cousin had managed all the ticketing mess more or less on her own.

So my last week was spent in that, and the fan project I randomly decided to start. Things actually fell into place so late, that by the time I initiated the fan project there was already too less time to spread the word or go about it in a more organized manner. But thanks to all the lovely, lovely Indian Armys who helped me out so much by spreading the word, sending in their letters and artwork, and even cover page for me, it worked out! I spent the last 2 days in India editing and compiling the book to BTS, I wanted it to look nice and I really, really wanted to take all your lovely words to them. Some of those letters were so touching that I remember feeling like I was intruding by even reading them. Even after I reached Seoul airport, I was working on the book, marking up the letters etc. The final result turned out really nice, actually! I will write a whole other update for that, because the sort of drama that happened there deserves a post lol.

For now, just glimpses you’ve already seen on my Twitter @insugarush:

The pages on which I printed the letters:

An array of things while compiling <omg you guys are SO talented>

The actual book..!

Soo for anyone who wants to know..this entire thing took me about 3 months of insane stress and planning and about $3000 in total, which included escalated Air Fare and Concert Tickets, Hotel Tariff, Visa and even expenses in Seoul. It's an inflated figure and I’m sure you can manage with waaay less if you are smart about your bookings!

A lot of people emailed me when they heard about me going to Seoul for the concert saying how lucky I was. Yes, maybe 1% of it was luck but trust me guys---I worked freakin hard to make this happen. Against all sorts of odds. I could have given up long ago, at the first sign of it not working out, but I kept pushing. What I want to say is…please don't feel its something that will never happen for you. Its just about charting out a way and trying your best. At least give it your best shot! Don’t give up in your head, before you even try, just because it seems impossible. If it really doesn't happen after that, no worries…at least you tried! Even I couldn't have imagined all this would work out. I think about how I was so close to going to LA or Newark---but I’m so glad I pushed for Seoul. It was the culmination of a whole lot of efforts, not just luck..

Me, finally on my way to see my boys!^

Sorry for the long post, and once again, thank you so much for your patience. I know I’m taking my own time, but I want to update properly and in detail! Sorry if this post was too long or boring, send me feedback on Twitter @insugarush and I would be happy to inculcate it in my next posts ^_^

Stay tuned!

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