#i dont want to die but i want my brain to shut up

[kaladinkholins]

mizutaigen is literally like. the first "toxic" m/f ship i've ever cared for. cuz like usually my taste in m/f ships is basically "unhinged baddie" x "badass wifeguy" *

* (see:yen/geralt. trevor/sypha. adolin/shallan. kataang but katara is sane and they're literally so wholesome like theyre traumatised kids in love who are each other's emblem of hope in a war-torn world! so basically they don't count. anyway. i'm rambling.)

and to that end my friend called mizutaigen yaoi-adjacent and im like. yeah you're right actually cuz like hell yeah non-binary mizu and bisexual taigen rights and all the gender fuckery in the show in general

but also like.

theres just SOMETHING else about mizutaigen that just GETS me. like there's a special secret sauce like the pheromones in that one sephora lotion attracting spiders and i am the silly spider!!! there's just something about it!!! it's not even the enemies to lovers trope cuz i personally am not even usually into that (obv it's fine if you are. but yk.)

so as i keep rotating these thoughts around i thiiink it's the fact that, yknow, theyre so similar. like i honestly truly think they could be besties in another universe: a kinder universe where taigen was not taught to hate. a universe where mizu was not born a girl in a deeply misogynistic society or half-white in a xenophobic homogeneous society.

yeah now that i think about it that really just might be THE secret sauce!!! like the fact that they COULD be perfect and happy together, if only things were different, if only they werent themselves.

smth v bittersweet about that's just driving me insane and makes me want to root for them to overcome all those obstacles, to say "fuck all that" (re:the world and all its fucked up shit) and find each other in the end. to eventually become each other's fav person and confidant. who obv still bicker and tease and insult each other all the time but they dont really mean any of it and over time it just becomes a running gag between them and no one else has to get it because it's just between the two of them.

#mizu x taigen #taigen x mizu #taimizu #[clenches fist] it's about the POTENTIAL of it all!!!!! #like taigen's last words in s1 being 'we're not done yet' like ?!? has me WANTING to see more. wanting to see them grow with each other #like i want taigen by the end to be ridiculously head over heels WHIPPED and SMITTEN willing to die and kill and just be BETTER. for mizu. #mizu. the person who changed his entire life. his entire worldview. pulled the rug from under him and made him a man forever changed. #to overcome his selfishness so he can be mizu's HOME in a world that doesn't allow her one #i want him to end up deciding like. 'on purpose. im going to love you on purpose.' #and mizu no matter how much she tries to convince herself that she cannot love or be loved. ends up accepting it anyway #love as work and violence but also love as rest and safety #and also bcs taigen represents the ideals of society. him willing to change & grow also represents society's potential to change & progress #LMAO okay sorry i absolutely cannot stop rambling about these bitches the brainworms are insane #bcs i just noticed that other mizutaigen enjoyers tend to also be in the same fandom circles for ships that i just. do not like. at all #and wondered like huh. i wonder why that is. and wondering what makes mizutaigen different #idk just ignore me i dont even know if im making sense my brain is goop from working on my research proposal #shut up haydar #fandom.rtf

[nbmudkip]

im CRAAAAZZZYYYY im FUCKING INSANE!!!!!! i’m a cycle path….. HHHHHHHFDRRRRRRRHHHHHGHHHH

#me.txt #IM SO FUCKED RN #IM IN THAT HORRIBLE STAGE OF A NEW HYPERFIXATION FORMING WHERE ITS ALL I CAN THINK AND ALL I CAN TALK ABOUT AND ALL I CAN SEE #which happens to be the VERY ANNOYING STAGE in which i am VERY ANNOYING towards EVERYONE AROUND ME because i wont SHUT UP!!!!!! #talking about anything that isnt isat for more than 30 seconds without bringing it up somehow is like PULLING TEETH to me right now #and my friends are already starting to get sick of and weirded out by it #and i dont want to keep randomly bringing it yp and being annoying but I CANT NOT DO THAT!!! #IT FEELS LIKE MY SYOMACH IS FULL OF BEES WHEN I TRY!!!! MORESO THAN USUAL!!!!!!!! #and its not like i can go on a reblog spree or talk to anyone else about it #BECAUSE IM NOT EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH THE GAME!!!! #AND IM ALREADY THIS SICK IN THE HEAD!!!!! BUT I CANNOT LET MYSELF GET SPOILED!!!!!!!! #CANT keep talking about it to friends CANT go online for an outlet IM GOING TO DIE #I HAVE NO WAY TO SCRATCH THE ITCH IN MY BRAIN AT ALL AND IT KEEPS BUILDING!!!!!!!!!! #AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHRRRRAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #okay. im fine now. im normal. i can survive without bringing it up. i can do it. im brave #<- guy who is not normal and will not survive and is kinning siffrin so hard they feel sick

[quirinah]

SLAY THE PRINCESS (chewing on drywall)

#oh my god the way this game has been festering in my brain since i watched rts playthrough of it ITS SO OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #I LOVE COSMIC HORROR AND SELF AWARE TIMELOOPS AND THE ENDLESS FUTALITY OF THE NARRATIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #I LOVE BIRD MEN AND GIANT MONSTER WOMEN AND NARRATORS WITH PERSONALITY!!! #sorry im normal. #quirinahscreams #no but i also love the voices of the main character and how the choices you make determine which one of them shows up (saying nonsense) BUT #ALSO HOW THEY EACH HAVE THEIR OWN SKILLS? IF THAT MAKES SENSE #like the stubborn and the hunted's affinity for combat/survival in the beast route or paranoids autonomic nervous system thing #she heart on my lungs till i liver nerves #I WISH IC OULD SAY MORE BUT SPOILERS BUT ALSO RAGHHH. they werent lying it really is a love story (gripping table so tightly it splinters) #THE WAY THE FIRST CABIN RUNTHRU IS LIKE UR DEFAULT SLATE AND THEN THE CHOICES YOU MAKE SLASH HOW YOU PERCEIVE THE PRINCESS IN THAT ROUTE #AFFECT WHAT SHE APPEARS AS TO YOU LATER #EVEN DOWN TO TAKING THE KNIFE #how shes docile and initially innocent if you dont take it but calculating and dangerous if you do #or depending on how you die she reappears as vengeful or simply cruel or resigned etc and then different voices show up to compliment that #i always feel so lame giving faceless characters visual appearances though its part of the mystique intrigue or whatever #but my boring hc for the mc is that hes like a harpy. a la howl movingcastle type beat but i also love birdman mc #its just that i wasnt paying attention earlier and imagined him as like a generic fairytale prince/knight and then realized oh he has TALON #I NEED TO SHUT UP OH MY GOD BUT ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I WANT TO DRAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cryptidyork]

.

#shut up spencer #today is just #not a good day #mental illness makes literally just fucking existing a constant exhausting fight #nothing whatsoever has happened #but i cant stop thinking about badly i just dont want to fucking be here #and i want to relapse so fucking bad #im like 3 months clean from self harm #and i am so ready to throw that away for no reason #just my own fucking brain reminding me constantly that im worthless and deserve it #i genuinely want to just fucking die

[mojaves]

genuinely do not know how i used to live like this every day everything is giving me anxiety and i feel like im going to cry whJHKGKHFG

#NOTHING IS EVEN HAPPENING. MY BRAIN IS JUST. GOING OVER EVERY WORST THING EVER THAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN #LIKE. I DONT NEED THIS I JUST WANT TO ENJOY MY TIME GAMIINNGGHWJHKGDHFJ #but my brain is like hey remember when you did xyz thing once well everyone hates you now and you should die actually #like. ok. why. leave me ALONE #it's even more horrible bc i dont want to bother anyone with the fact that in being insane bc my brain is like #YOURE ALREADY ANNOYING THEM ENOUGH!!!!!!! SHUT UP #SO IM JUST. SITTING HERE WHKDGJSG NOTHING IS HELPING.

[definitelynotwinter]

When is life supposed to get better again? When does it get easy? When will I wake up without everything worrying me...and when will I snap back into reality and feel light again. Without any fear, with the ability to know I'm secure and loved. To have my health no longer be failing me and to not care what others think.

Idk I'm just a miserable bitch and life will always be as horrible as it ever has been,

But God am I trying so hard for it to not be

I just wish I had a break so I can be...light. just for once.

#summer shut up #if it werent for my son life is just a neverending nightmare and im so surprised i havent killed myself yet #when will i be loved? so truly and purely. i want something soft and sweet with butterflies #the kind of love that makes you blush by yourself. the kind of love where you look at the person and want to shut down because everything #everything hits you. i want something so soft sweet and pure. someone to open doors for me. write me poetry. take pictures when i dont ask #i want to be able to talk about anything without fear i want it to be mutual just so head over heels for one another #i just want the pinnacle of romance and love it makes me want to throw up and then i want that to be the model for how my son treats his #his future partners. makes me want to throw up that i have to go through it all essentially alone #i just want to be understood and not pacified by my partners too god thats just romance #i want my health to get better im tired of being sick im tired of dying im TIRED. #like get this tumor out of my fuckin head already yeah i renoved 2 already but the one underneath my brain is cramping my fucking style #i feel like im going to die soon and i dream about it so vividly and its just so bitter sweet #anyways i dont have anywhere else to vent and im crying myself to sleep bc im overwhelmed with how bad life truly is #just when will it get easier? i just want to run away from all of it. my health #i need a job im supporting an almost 1 yr old by myself im not doing okay #when does it get easier!!!!!!!i want to scream #i know im stupid just disregard this im melting down

[tv-eater]

.

#Aughhhghhhh why do I feel horrible I've had a good day but it's STILL AUGHHHHH #HITTING MY BRAIN CAN IT SHUT UP JUST AUGHHH #in a different way the fact that so much of like information is being lost is making miserable and how like there aren't enough years #For a single person to appreciate all of the art in the world and I really need to make this cohesive so I can like shut it down like #Shut theses thoughts down like it's alright information is not meant to be eternal! And like with the whole particles turn into different tl #Things maybe nothing is ever truly lost n will keep getting rediscovered endlessly #And like there's sooooo many organisations dedicated to this pursuit and doing good work #But despite all of that it makes me feel like HORRIBLE like #IDK does nothing matter???? #Like there's so much iw ant to experience and put out into the world and I dont do that #I'm wasting so much of my time why do I never draw why do I never do anything productive cause #Every second that passes its a second I don't have Like I don't I don't want to die without having done anything #BUT EVEN NOW I'M DOING NOTHING BUT LIKE I WANT TO BE REMEMBERED n maybe it'll make everything worth it #AND IT JUST FEELS LIKE IM WASTING MY TIME EVERYDAY MY PEERS R ACHIEVING SO MUCH AND I'M NOT #But it's alright it's alright I'll keep saying this until I can believe it cause it's alright it's all fine but AUHH #hi if ur reading this ig

[nbrnty-replies]

I can nawt keep doing this, I keep spiraling ToT why tf is BPD so hard

#ramble #this is nawt a cry for help #I do nawt want help I wanna die LMAOOOOO #I sound cringe but I literally can nawt keep doing this ToT #okay time 2 sleep!!! hopefully my brain will shut up when I wake up >w< wish me luck!!!! Im gonna start my needy streamer arc #and delulu myself into 2 people!!!!! #btw erm plz fr dont message me about this cuz I feel cringe LMAOOOOO

[29121996]

.

#gonna say smth slightlynfucked up but i dont care atp #i trest ppl like theyre a game piece if theyve hurt me so much like . #idk how to explain this and i wont bc it doesnt matter. but i realised tn that shile i love him #it wasnt enough for me to not treat his emotions like a game #atp he said i acted like thst and i ptobably was unintentionally unawars i was #bc lbr i do Know how to do it and i will do it on will when ive been deeply wounded n i wanna fuck w the other person a little #so i probably do unintentionally do it when i am Just Uoset yknow #but yes anyway i done burned this bridge Permenently for the foreseeable future bc i could not shut my mouth or let my rgo slide #i literally could feel my brain switching frim Rationally Calm to “fuck this lets burn it” it was So Funny #i will feel abt how i treated him. i know i will bc the last things i said were fucming Harsh. but atp i just wanted to hurt him :/ #i am a deeply flawd andnfucked yp pwrson its so upswtting this is so Hard #im fucking Doing it and im going to Get Better but its such . a long process. ive been at this for 2yrs and i dont feelcany different #like for the most psrt im the exaft same take away my approach and slight change in communication form #likw ik i cant . cimpare bc disorders are different bur my anxiety got better in 2yrs #like there was a drastic change - same w my ed. #so why the FUCK is bpd so mhch harder. #why is fundamentally cha ging my brain wiring so fucking hard #i will fucking . die

[milo-is-rambling]

Had a nightmare last night that many different large scary animals were trying to break into the house I lived in in New Hampshire and I kept running around and locking doors and screaming and crying and begging for my family to help me and they were just sitting and laughing or sleeping or living their lives and I was watching huge black bears pound on glass sliding doors and fog them up with their breath as they drool over the idea of demolishing my family and there were like big mountain lions finding small holes to crawl through trying to get in and I’m sobbing and bleeding and kicking them and trying to get my family to do something and they don’t even notice and act like I’m crazy

#hahahaha that’s totally unrelated to me having a panic attack and calling out of work only for my mother to tell me that she’s disappointed #in me and I should’ve just sucked it up and gone to work #my life is honestly me vs my mental health vs my mother #like if she could just. no. I’m the one with the problem. I stopped taking my meds. that’s on me. she shouldn’t get mad at me for the way I #deal with my own brain especially cause the first half of June went so well for me. but whatever. she’s allowed to be upset when her child #isn’t taking care of themselves. that’s fair. however. FUCK OFFFFFFFFFF #I DONT WANT NIGHTMARES WHERE IM DYING AND THEN I WAKE UP AND STILL FEEL LIKE IM ABOUT TO DIE #LIKE GIRL BE THE LITTLEST BIT SUPPORTIVE OF ME INSTEAD OF SAYING YOURE MAD AT ME BC I HAD A PANIC ATTACK SO BAD I COULDNT HANDLE A FIVE HOUR #SHIFT AT WORK LIKE JUST TELL ME IVE COME SO FAR FROM WHERE I WAS LAST YEAR (bad panic attacks every day) AND THAT I JUST NEED TO BREATHE AND #ILL GET THROUGH IT AND ITLL BE OKAY AND YOU CAN GO TO WORK AND EXPLAIN NEXT SHIFT AND APOLOGIZE AND ITLL BE FINE #INSTEAD OF SAYING TO YOUR KID ‘are you TRYING to get fired so you don’t have to go to work anymore?’ WHILE IM SOBBING WITH MY HEAD IN A #TRASHCAN DRY HEAVING LIKE YEAH MOM THATS JUST WHAT I WANT TO HEAR YOU THINK IM NOT FREAKING OUT ENOUGH ON MY OWN WHAT DO YOU THINK SENT ME #INTO THIS PANIC ATTACK LIKE SHUT THE FUCK UP #sorry. having a moment. #I just keep getting really vivid flashbacks to my dream and it’s like I was trying to protect my dad bc in my dream he was still alive and #then I woke up and felt so powerless to everything and remembered my mom still being mad at me which I’m sure is going to continue and I’ll #be guilt tripped for the rest of the weekend at least #and she’s going to be on my ass about going back to therapy when therapy has nothing to do with this #rage rage rage rage fear fear fear fear fear that’s all I seem to know anymore

[kindnessoverperfection]

.

#not to bare my soul in the tags of an empty post on my mental illness sideblog or anything but #im probably refusing closeness w ppl bc im shielding an underlying issue of poor boundaries #closeness and emotional reliance feel like weakness to me #i reject the idea that im even capable of feeling that way #i get hella annoyed at sad whiny breakup songs that come up in my playlist #it always feels the equivalent of like. ''boo hoo i cant find my red pen it's gone forever'' like okay sorry bro i guess? can not relate. #dont bring that shit into my livingroom. #but when i seriously think about the concept of ''letting someone in'' and feeling close with them i just get so uncomfortable and avoidant #and shut down the possibility and then am like ''why cant i heal my DA attachment style ive tried everything ;'('' #it feels like if i let someone in they're just going to up and die and it'll rip my heart out #it's why i get mad when people vent or spiral or do self-destructive things #like i hide my anger but internally i just get so pissy #it's because im scared of them being unhappy because a) i dont want them to fucking die b) i dont want their mood to negatively impact mine #and c) i dont want them to suffer #so my fuckin fight response brain kicks in #which i feel bad about and i hide it but #hh.

[sh1-n0bu]

𝔫𝔬𝔟𝔲’𝔰 𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔨𝔱𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯 𝔬𝔣 2023!

day 22: double dom with dan heng from hsr

warnings: two readers, cock/strap/shaft/length traditions, praise, degrading, double penetration, overstimulation, dacryphilia, creampie, squirting, oral, slapping, slight feminization, slight breeding, love confessions even though reader and dan heng are in relationship, shit gets messy

notes: if yall didnt like normal dan heng, yall dont deserve lunae. i die by this statement

“what a whore. look at him, squealing like he wants more”

“won’t you shut the fuck up? and don’t call dan heng ‘whore’ again unless you want to have your jaw broken”

all dan heng could do was let out a high pitched embarrassed squeal again as he comes on your hand again. his face was flushed red, all the way to his shoulders. bare skin covered in sweat, tears and drool as he tries to make sense of who it was that was fucking his hole open now.

it was weird to wake up to the noise of commotion. especially if the commotion was caused by two you. at first dan heng thought he was having some super weird dream. he tried slapping himself, pinching himself and even thought if his food or drink was spiked with something weird.

but no. none of it was sadly true and the situation he woke up to was very much real. there, standing over the side of the bed were two [name]s. exact carbon copies of one another except one was cussing the other out more while the other was calm and collected. but the calm one was losing their shit more and more as the other [name] spits curses at them.

somehow, it ends up in this little competition between the two [name]s to see which one can fuck him better.

one was gentle with him. coaxing him gently, peppering kisses on his neck and whispering soothing words in his ear. praising him for how pretty he looks, how he was so beautiful and ethereal, how he was doing such a good job as dan heng gags and chokes around your cock. saliva slipping from the side of his mouth, slipping down his chin as his whines get muffled with your length down his throat, causing slight bulge in them.

the other was mean. degrading him, calling him a filthy whore for letting himself get used by two [name]s. a fucking slut for willingly opening his legs wide and allowing his cute puckering hole to get fucked over and over. their strap pushing their own cum deeper inside him, pushing him into impossible, near painful positions as dan heng cries fat globs of tears. he never knew that his lover could be mean. even more, he didn’t knew that he would be so damn turned on by the mean slaps to his inner thigh, making him squeal and clench around the mean one like a harlot.

dan heng didn’t knew which one to focus on. all he could do was lay there on the bed. spread out with his inner thighs and ass red from the mean one’s slaps. his own cum painting his stomach as he sobs in a twisted sense of pain and pleasure. he felt so full, he was so sure that he was going to bend the biology of a vidyadhara and get pregnant.

by the mean [name] or by the gentle [name], he didn’t knew. he couldn’t even tell if the one who was keeping his legs open as he trashes and whimpers of feeling so full is his own [name] of this reality.

“you’re doing it wrong. fuck him hard like you mean it, dumb fuck. look at him. he’s getting my hard work all over the place!”

a voice hisses, angry and annoyed by the sound of it. a hand comes to knead his sore ass, making dan heng let out a choked whimper and cling to the other one tighter. ah, the one whose cock was inside him right now was the gentle one.

“guunck—! puh-please… can’t… i can’t take more… please please pleaseplease—! [n-name], you’re gonna break me… aaanh♡︎!!” dan heng lets out a loud moan. shrill and drawn out like a girl’s as his thighs shake from where they’re wrapped around your waist.

clinging to the gentle one was his only source of comfort and grounding. if not, dan heng was sure that his mind will break and his brain would get fried from the overwhelming amount of pleasure and pain.

“shut up, slut. you’re going to have to take everything if you want to decide who’s the winner here” the angry one grunts, kneading his already red and sore ass before slapping him again. dan heng twitches, bucking his hips as he tries to escape the mean one’s hold on him only to grind your cock against his prostate. he was shooting blanks from just that. body too overstimulated to keep going. but he wanted to. the sick perverted part of his mind wanted to feel the pain.

spreading his asscheeks apart with both hands, the poser takes a moment. eerily silent and calm faced as they watch the both of your mixed cum slowly ooze out of his loose hole, dripping down onto the mattress below. it created more wet stain in the already messed up mattress. but it also gave the poser an idea.

all the while you whispered of love and gentle reassurances into the ruined man’s ear, the other you shuffle closer until their chest was flush against dan heng’s back. the faraway look in his teary eyes, the old tearstains and the drool covering his chin was more than enough proof that dan heng was far gone. mind filled with statics as he can only take and take and take whatever’s given to him.

“hey, shift him a bit and pull out until your tip, will you?” the other you says, tapping your hips. for a moment, you just wanted to tell your doppelgänger to fuck off and go back to their own reality. but the excited look in their eyes got you sighing as you fulfill what they asked.

pulling out until only your tip is inside his gaping hole, you whisper more sweet nothings to dan heng when he whimpers at the feeling. he was already so spent. he possibly can’t handle what your other half was planning. but you were possessive and that trait mixed with a feeling of wanting to prove that you’re worth dan heng made you simply shut up.

fingering the dripping cum back inside his twitching warm walls, your doppelgänger hooks a finger at his loose hole. slowly spreading him out more and more, little by little, you were too slow to realize until dan heng was trashing about, sobbing and crying about how he was going to break until his jaws go slack in a silent scream. his spent cock squirting over his tummy again.

“t-too much… break… ‘m gonna breakkk aanh aahg ghiick♡︎ gyaack! c-cocks mmmgh uungh—! too much♡︎♡︎!”

the reserved and deadly guard of the astral express, shaking his head as he cries, creating new tear stain marks as he drools all over himself. great amount of his own cum staining his stomach, hair stuck to his forehead as he sweats all over. each time his mouth opens, it’s to let out shrill, girlish moans and squeals. the sound lewd and downright pornographic as it draws out, followed by the sound of two cocks sinking deeper into his tight and eager hole inch by inch.

“fuck—! mmgh so fucking tight, i can’t even move my hips. see that? that’s my cute little breeding bitch. cunt all tight and eager as always” your doppelgänger chuckles, hands coming up to twist and pull at his sensitive, swollen nipples. dan heng shakes his head furiously, denying the poser’s words with all his heart.

it was when your poser placed a kiss on his neck, ready to bite him and mark his skin did he let out a noise of denial. placing his trembling hand over their face, he shoves them away with what little strength did he had left. clinging to your form tightly with his chest flush against yours, you were glad that it was dan heng who protested. because if he hadn’t you would have broken more than just a few bones.

“uhnn!! not [name]! n-not my [name]!” dan heng whines, clinging to you with a vice grip. the thought of being marked by someone else — even if said someone else was technically [name] from another reality — dan heng hated it. he hated the idea of carrying someone else’s love bite on him, if not his own [name].

“not my [name]… i love you… i love you, [name]! mine, only mine! only m-my [name] gets to fuck a baby in me—♡︎!” before you could even make sense of his slurred blabbering words, dan heng passes out. face serene, forehead resting on your shoulder as he continues to grip onto you even in his unconscious state.

ah, the feeling of being in love and loving in return. but that aside, it’s time to punch this annoying doppelgänger of yours before taking care of your unconscious darling—

#nobu.writes #sub hsr #sub honkai star rail #sub!honkai star rail #sub!hsr #sub dan heng #sub!dan heng #sub character #sub!character #x dom reader #dom gn reader #dom reader #dom!reader #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail smut #hsr x reader #hsr x reader smut #hsr smut #dan heng x reader #dan heng smut #nobu’s kinktober 2023

[marnikula]

Can u do early seasons spencer x reader who has a lot of problems and they let people walk all over them and they dont set boundaries and they struggle with their emotions. Reader likes spencer a lot but doesn't seek him out bc they feel like he deserves better! And u can decide what happens but make it happy ending :)

Oh my word, I literally spent like 2 hours writing this because I wrote something and then my internet cut out when I posted and now it's lost, so I had to rewrite it. Hope you enjoy!

Cw: gn reader, people dumping work on reader, Spencer being cute

Enjoy!

You were a doormat. You knew it, your friends knew it, everyone knew it. You tried to set boundaries, to say no, but it never seemed to stick. Saying no made you feel guilty, it made you feel like a bad person even though you knew you weren't.

Being a doormat, people tended to walk all over you, requesting ridiculous things of you. That is how it came to be that you were sitting alone in the bullpen, the clock ticking away, showing you that it was around midnight and you still had a whole stack of papers to go through. You felt yourself about to fall asleep, and truly, you were too tired to fight it off when a ding signaled the arrival of someone.

Without even turning to look who it was you knew it was Spencer Reid. You recognized his footsteps, and even if you didn't, the smell he brought with him would have alerted you. It was the smell of coffee mixed sweet undertones, almost as if he had spent his whole day in a café. It was intoxicating. "What are you still doing here?" "Working, I have a lot of stuff to finish before tomorrow" "you mean today" looking back at the clock you could see he was right, it was now officially the next day.

"Do you need some help?" without even waiting for you to decline Spencer took half of the pile you were working on. He moved fast, knowing you well enough to know that you hated asking for help, especially from him, he just could never figure out why.

"Spencer, you really don't need to, I've got this" reaching your hands to take the files back only to be swatted away by the doctor was something you did not expect. "I'm not saying you don't have it, I'm just going to help you so you can go home earlier"

Sighing you admitted defeat and went to go make coffee for the two of you. With Spencer's help you managed to make it through the massive stack of papers on your desk in less that an hour, something you would never have been able to do on your own.

"You, doctor Spencer Reid, are amazing, what can I do to thank you?" it was a slight tease on your part. You didn't expect him to ask you anything return, it wasn't like him, he was too nice . That was one of the things you loved about him, and one of the reasons you willed the crush growing in your heart to shrivel up and die. He deserved so much better than you. Someone with a mind as amazing as his own, someone with kindness rivaling his and someone who knew how to say no. You were none of those. At least not in your own eyes.

"You could go on a date with me" Spencer surprised himself with those words, he really hadn't meant to say them out loud, but he really liked you, and in a moment of confidence inspired by sleep deprevation, he decided to take a chance.

"Really? You mean it?" the both of you were blushing hard at this point, him thinking about how he could have possibly screwed this up and you thinking about how this could possibly get any better.

"I-I mean, only if you want to, you really don't have to feel pressured, I know I said I would take it as paiment, but honestly spending time with you was enough of a payme-" grabbing his face in your hands you turned him to look at you, shutting off his ramblings with the movement and shutting off his brain with your words

"I would love to"

#dr spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #doctor spencer reid #bau #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fic #criminal minds #criminal minds fluff

[w0rmm1lk]

Hi again!!! Could you do a M!reader x bakugou Where does Bakugou find out he's gay? he never worried about sexualities, and after meeting the reader he discovered that he liked guys and started ignoring him for fear of being rejected 😭 but then at the end the reader admits that he is pansexual and is in love with Bakugou and has a fluff ending!!!

les gooooo im so happy im getting so many requests tbh--

characters: Bakugo

reader: Male

summary: every since Y/n walked into that class bakugo immediately knew he hated(fell in love with) him.

warnings: coming out, swearing, hinted shinkami

other details: bakugo being in denial about being in the closet, Pan!reader, fluff, confession.

les gooo

(hope you dont mind the headcannon format! trying to get through my requests and headcannons make it easier :') )

-this man fell head over heels for you the second you stepped in the door. you could feel his face heating up just at the sight.

-of course, like any other person bakugos first thought was, "Oh I probably fucking hate this guy if I'm reacting like this right?"

-no.

-you both got to know each other better due to being paired up in training a lot.

-bakugo was honestly annoyed with himself to learn he didn't hate you, he wanted to be "friends"

-yep.

-he swears just friends.

-you two hung out a lot, mostly with the others.

-others being; Kirishima, denki, sero, and Mina, yknow the group.

-the topic of Bakugo possibly having a crush didn't pop up until a bit after school one day. Bakugo was forcibly dragged along with the rest of the group to go to a restaurant together.

-kaminari was ranting about some purple-haired mind controller he was crushing on.

-bakugo didn't think much of it until Mina pointed out one thing.

-"You know, the way you talk about shinsou and what you guys do together sounds awfully a lot like Bakugo and Y/N..."

-"Wait! You're totally right! bakugo do you like him?!"

-"he totally likes him!"

-they were both met with a small explosion of anger and almost real explosions to the face.

-"im not gay!"

-everyone just kinda stared at him in disbelief for a second.

-finally, sero actually spoke up to break the silence.

-"Wait... youre not...?"

-ultiple explosions were fired causing the group to get kicked from the store.

-once they got back to the dorms bakugo immediately shut himself into his room.

-he was intending to actually sleep but his mind was clouded purely with thoughts of You..

-he actually began questioning himself.

-the next day bakugo couldn't keep his brain from focusing on you.

-he noticed every time you spoke, sighed, yawned, walked, breathed, he was way too focused.

-he tried to keep his mind off of you.

-it was all fine until kirishima was trying to talk to him.

-'bakugo you're listening right?"

-"..."

-"bakugo?"

-"..."

-"hey man--- you good-?"

-it took a few moments before kirishima looked to see what bakugo was so focused on.

-Y/N.

-he was staring you down.

-"ohhhhh, yknow, I'm starting to think Mina and kaminari were right-"

-somehow that out of everything snapped bakugo out of his thoughts.

-"I don't like him!"

-kirishima stiffled a laugh

-"Uh-huh, sureeeee you don't."

-bakugo had a weird look on his face as he turned back to look at you.

-his ears turned a bright red when you noticed him staring and smiled slightly in his direction.

-kirishima looked between you two for a moment.

-"okay kaminari and mina were definitely right."

-"For the last time shitty hair- Im not gay!'

-class a was lucky with how high quality these desks were, otherwise, bakugos would have been burnt to a crisp with that explosion that came out of his hands.

-bakugos small fit of yelling caught a lot of students' attention, usually they ignored bakugos rants but this one seemed to interest a few.

-"uh-huh."

-"I- why are you looking at me like that! go die."

-he shoved past kirishima leaving the room.

-you assumed he had left for the dorms.

-you learned just how wrong you were when you left the classroom and immediately someone grabbed your hand dragging you to a slightly secluded area behind the school.

-"...bakugo?'

-he didn't reply and shoved you against the wall. you could feel your face heat up at the position but then you realised Bakugo's expression.

-he was pissed

-like, if you don't run then just pray for your survival pissed.

-"The hell is with your quirk!? it's making me feel all weird these past few months!"

-"Bakugo the hell are you talking about--"

-"Your quirk dumbass! it-- it's making me feel all these weird emotions whenever I look at you- i- it makes me feel warm in shit! like- like I actually like you! So tell me! What the hell is your quirk!?"

-you didn't know whether to laugh or confess at this point.

-"Bakugo- my quirk is (quirk), which is very much not related to what you're feeling--"

-you could see bakugos whole face flush red.

-yet for once he didnt look mad, he looked almost embarrassed.

-his mind was racing with thoughts realizing; "oh shit I'm actually gay."

-there was a very long awkward pause. you could see Bakugo's thoughts racing purely in his expression.

-after almost a minute he finally spoke up.

-"Then.. go out with me dumbass."

-What he said caught you by surprise, your face heating up at these words.

-"Wait what--

-"I said go out with me! Are you deaf or just not interested!?"

-"I mean I am interested... just- a little surprised that's all."

-he pulled away so you weren't shoved against the wall anymore.

-"It's late as hell- let's get back to the dorms."

-"Ah! right-"

-"Of course someone like you is gay."

-"I'm pan.. but- close enough I guess."

-"What the hell does that mean?!"

-not only did you learn about Bakugo's feelings towards you. you also learned he had no clue about the large list of sexualities outside of gay and straight.

ngl struggles once again, mainly with the confession part

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #bakugou x reader #bnha x male reader #mha x male reader #x male reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugo x male reader #bakugo x reader #x reader

[lovlive]

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ midnight insomnia' - c.yj

SYNOPSIS - its the middle of the night and you have 2 problems; no.1 you cant sleep, and no.2 you miss your boyfriend. PAIRING - choi yeonjun x f!reader GENRE - fluff, established relationship WARNINGS - reader is depicted with a pink colour, reader is called ‘baby’ and ‘girlfriend’, just yeonjun and y/n being really cute with eachother <3 requested from anon: hi! i dont think you've posted yet, maybe your busy or just dont know what to write about since your a new blog, but i want to put in a req.. could you do reader x yeonjun with the prompt “i can’t sleep, come to my bed” id actually die AAH im so curious what you could turn this into, thanks :}

notes: thanku sm for the req! yeah, i havent been writing yet since my brain was blank tbh i had no ideas for a fanfic in mind 😭😭 but now youve added fuel to my fire and ill try start writing more often :3 (and yes, the 127 in the fic was on purpose)

The moon cast a soft glow through the small sliver between your curtains, painting the room in hues of silver. In the quiet of the night, you tossed and turned under your soft blanket, unable to find solace in slumber. As you battled with your insomnia, you just couldnt keep your mind off of one thing; Yeonjun. You couldnt stop thinking about the way he would hold you through these chilly early-spring nights, and how much you missed his warm body next to yours. At this point you’ve realised just how starved you were from him despite only seeing him a couple of days ago.

You gave up on your slumber, rolling like a log from one side of your bed to another to pick up your phone. The sharp glow from the screen hit your eyes, your face instinctively scrunching up since you werent used to the brightness. Your fingers lazily glided over to the message app icon, and then tapped on Yeonjun’s contact. The time at the side of the screen caught your eye, and your realised it was 1:27 AM. You were a little weary of texting your boyfriend at this late hour; you knew that he was probably tired after a long day of practicing and you didnt want to seem selfish or too clingy. But you shook off your bad feelings since you knew that Yeonjun wasnt the type to be able to fall asleep easily either. You began to type your messages…

“jjunieeee..”

“baby… ☹️”

As expected, Yeonjun was of course awake. Your one word messages were opened by him a minute later. He looked at the texts, a little confused on why you’d be texting him right now. Any how, he started typing back.

“y/n? why’re you still up. you better not be up to some weird shi 😐”

“jjunie, i cant sleep. come to my bed.”

“baby, its half 1 in the morning.”

“please..😔 i really cant sleep and i need sum1 by my side 😞”

“y/n you’re going to be the death of me... but what wouldnt i do for my beautiful girlfriend”

“ill be there in 5”

“yippee! 😇 i love you ❤️”

“love you more baby ❤️”

Your face lit up as your boyfriend agreed to come over. You immediately put your phone back on your side table and plugged it back into charging, then quickly tossed the dirty socks that were lying on your bedroom floor underneath your bed to appear a little tidier. After a little while, you could hear a quiet knock echo through your small apartment; your face lighting up once again. Your feet quickly brought you to your hallway, where you rummaged your drawer for your keys. Eventually finding them, you jammed the correct key into the keyhole, twisiting it and gently opening the door. As your boyfriend appears from behind the door, you immediately pull him into a hug, shutting the door behind him. “Whats up with you today?” He teases as he feels your arms lock around him tightly, wrapping his arms around your waist in response. “Just missed you baby.” You responded, taking in his soft scent which you missed badly. “Y/n, we just saw eachother a few days ago..” His chuckle landed right in your ear, warm breath brushing right up against your ear. The sensation of course did not fail to make you blush a little. “Yeah, but ‘just a few days ago’ feels like an eternity to me.” You whisper into his shoulder, finding comfort in just burrying your face in his shoulder and hiding from the world. You feel his hands come away from your waist and up to your back, rubbing small circles. “You really arent a patient person, are you? Now, lets get you to bed.” He whispers as he takes your hand in his and begins to lead you over to your bedroom. You obviously dont resist, and grip his hand back as you walk behind him. None of you made a sound as you walked to your bedroom. Both of your social batteries were drained from the long day you’ve survived today, and all you wanted to do was to hold eachother in peace as you tried to fall back into a slumber.

You walk into your bedroom, and Yeonjun leads you straight to your bed. He lets you crawl in and under the covers as he takes off his jacket and throws it onto the chair you have by your desk. He came just wearing his pajamas, since he knew all you were going to do together was snuggle and sleep. He climbs onto your bed, arms wrapping tightly around your body as your face hides in his chest. His hand runs through your soft hair in a consoling manner, trying to get you to feel more tired and sleepy. His hands work like magic, your eyes beginning to feel heavier by the minute. But before you fall asleep, you give his hand a gentle squeeze and manage to whisper a set of three familiar words.

“I love you.”

#drabble #kpop imagines #one shot #x reader #kpop #yeonjun #yeonjun imagines #yeonjun drabbles #txt #txt imagines #txt fanfic #yeonjun fanfic #yeonjun x reader #yeonjun x y/n #yeonjun x you #yeonjun oneshot #oneshot #txt oneshots #new kpop blog #fanfic

[aajjks]

Monster. (m)

synopsis. You’ll never love him, no matter what.

warnings. YANDERE, ABUSIVE BEHAVIOUR, CHOKING, LOTS OF CURSING, DEGRADATION, slut shaming, psychotic behaviour, delusional behaviour, unhealthy behaviour, mentions of killing.

disclaimer. PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT ROMANTICISE THIS FUCKED UP BEHAVIOUR, this is extremely toxic and not at all romantic. This is purely fictional and it does not represent bts’ jungkook at all.

viewer discretion is HEAVILY ADVISED AS THIS FIC CONTAINS DARK CONTENT THAT CAN BE TRIGGERING.

“Fucking whore!”

His eyes are wild, the vein in his neck popping out as he slams you into the alley wall, the darkness fails to hide his eyes that are burning holes into your soul.

“SLUT.” His hands reach your neck and he grabs at it tightly, you cannot stop crying. His grip hurts, it’s a struggle for you to breathe.

But the monster doesn’t care.

His voice rings in your ears, yet no one comes to your rescue.

“What’d I tell you?!” He leans his face closer, his eyes are cold, his jaw is clenched, you can see the anger in his eyes.

“Whore!” He screams again at you. His tall figure is overpowering and you cannot defend yourself, you feel suffocated.

“Stupid bitch! Do you just go flirting around with anyone?!” You hate him. He has no right to act this way.

You don’t deserve this.

“Didn’t I warn you?” He slams his other hand at the wall, startling you, you whimper pathetically.

He doesn’t care.

“I’m going to kill him and gut him right in front your eyes because your stupid little brain doesn’t understand!” He growls, his grip loosens when you whimper out a small please.

“I-I hate you!” You cough violently, attempting to push him away, you hated him so much.

He deserved to burn in hell.

“I never cared!” He laughs, fucking maniac.

“L-Let me go!” You cry once again. “I DONT W-WANT YOU!” You try to get away from him but he’s quick to trap you again.

“Shut your slutty little mouth!” He grabs you by the shoulder, “y-you’re hurting me!”

“What about my heart huh?” He ignores you once again.

“You are mine. I warned you so many times, YN, but you never listen, are you really that much of a whore for a dick!?!”

His words are piercing. But what can you expect from a spoiled psychotic bastard like him.

He doesn’t own you.

“Shut the fuck up Jeon! I’ll never fuck someone like you, you’re psychotic!”

You bite back and that takes him by surprise, his eyes get wide open at your insult. “You are abusive! I’ll never want you, I’d rather die!” You spit at him.

“Are you going to hit me now huh? That’s all you can do really!” It’s your turn to glare at him, his hands leave your body, he’s speechless.

You roll your eyes at him.

“Pathetic bastard, you’ll never have me.” His body is frozen, you don’t move too, glaring at him.

You hate him so much.

“This is not love at all, people like you can never know what’s it like to love and be loved.”

“PSYCHO.” You cannot bring yourself to stop insulting him, you’ve had enough. And before you can stop yourself, you slap him.

“BURN IN HELL.”

He don’t spare him another glance before you grab your bag and leave him standing there.

You’ll never love him.

#jungkook smut #yandere bts #jjk smut #yandere jjk #yandere x reader #jungkook x reader #jungkook ff #jungkook fanfic #jungkook angst #yandere jungkook #yandere smut #smut #jeongguk smut #jungkook x you #jungkook fanfiction