#i feel like their prices r horribly marked up. but then again this is not my money and so i do not truly care lmfao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #449-450

(both from yesterday)

What do you dislike about the house you live in? It's in the suburbs. Have you thought more about your funeral, or your wedding? My hypothetical wedding. Dinosaurs or unicorns? DINO BOIZ. What do you think of Maroon 5? I like some of their old stuff, and one or two of their newer songs, like "Payphone." What about Coldplay? I enjoy them. Fall Out Boy? Love 'em. Katy Perry? She's okay, I guess. There are a few songs I enjoy. Have you ever snuck into an R-rated movie when you weren’t old enough to see it without parents? No. What is your favorite Disney show? I don't have the slightest clue what's on Disney nowadays. What do you miss most about elementary school? Digging tunnels in the sandbox during recess with my friends. :'( When was the last time you saw the person you had your first kiss with? The start of February 2017. Hard to believe it's been four whole years... Is there anything hanging from the doorknob in your room? Ha, yes. Mom got me a little sign that says, "If I can't wear my flipflops, I'm not going," lmfao. All I wear are flipflops. What's your opinion on wearing pajamas in public? Do you yourself do that? I LITERALLY couldn't care less. I wear pjs in public sometimes; it really depends on where I'm going. What was the most severe punishment your parents gave you when you were growing up? Taking away technology was the worst. Do you usually fill up at the same gas station? Mom goes to a few different ones, depending on proximity and price. Have you ever owned any pet birds? What kinds/colours? I have not. I used to want a cockatiel for a long time, though. Do you pay much attention to your YouTube recommendations? If so, what was the last video that caught your attention? Kinda, I guess. I'm not sure what was the last recommended video I clicked. What has been the happiest time of your life so far? It's complicated. Most of my best memories are from high school with Jason, yet at the same time I was HORRIBLY depressed. I think my most pure happiness when I was really progressing with recovery. Moving on from him, losing tons of weight, feeling motivated... Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity? Who? My two biggest celebrity crushes ever have been/is Link Neal and Mark Fischbach. Do you have any fears you would rarely admit to anyone? Nah. Admitting fears isn't a big deal to me at all. What website do you spend most of your time on? YouTube. What did you have for dinner last night? A chicken sandwich. What could you talk about for hours? Meerkats, Silent Hill, Mark... Do you have a lamp beside your bed? Yes. What's your favorite ice cream topping? Chocolate syrup. What was the last TV show you binge watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender. Would you rather eat burgers or tacos? Oh, burgers for sure. I don't likes tacos. Did your mother change her maiden name when/if she got marred? Yes. Do you use TikTok? Nope. Are you closer to your mother or father? Mom. Do you own any costumes? No. Would you care if your SO went to a strip club? Hm. So long as they're not laying hands on any of the strippers and they ASKED me first, I don't think I'd care? I'm pretty sure I'd also only be okay with that if we were a long-term couple where very strong trust has been built. How helpful are your parents to you? Would they help you to pay for your first apartment? College? Where does the line end? They are so, so very helpful and I'm pretty sure would go to the ends of the earth to help me in any way they could. I know they WOULD help pay for the things you mentioned, but it's not something I want them to do. I want to be able to financially provide for myself, one day... Have you ever had to evacuate due to natural disaster? No. What video games did you have when you were growing up? LOADS. I looooooooved video games. What was the first election you ever voted in? This last one, actually. Can you hear anything right now? Yeah. I'm watching Gab play the Resident Evil 3 remake on hardcore mode. What's the coolest, most unusual pet you can think of? I've always thought sugar gliders were quite interesting as pets. I wanted one for a looong time, but I am not informed on how well they do in captivity and if it should even be legal for me to truly want one anymore. Have you ever seen a UFO or other weird object in the sky? By definition, it was a UFO. Sometimes I do even wonder if it was an alien spacecraft, given JUST how strange that shit was. I won't explain it again, just 'cuz I've done it in many surveys before. Are there any albums you know every single lyric to? I could probably nail Ozzy's Black Rain. What's your go-to painkiller? Advil. Does your mom have a celebrity look-alike? No, but there's a celebrity with her exact name. Do you think it’s pretty when 100s of balloons are let loose into the sky? NO NO NO NO NO that shit is SO upsetting. Where do you think they end up??? It's littering. Animals get choked and tangled by them all the time. What do you draw more than anything else? Definitely meerkats. Have you ever visited someone in a psychiatric home or ward? No, but people have visited me in one. Have you ever received a parking fine? No. Are you in any group chats? Who's in them? No. Do you have a lisp? No. Do you have an Instagram account? Do you use it often? I have three, but one's pretty much dead. I don't post stuff regularly on my other two either, really... Can you parallel park? I would absolutely hit another car. Have you ever played paintball? Did you get hit? No, that shit's dumb. You can get really hurt. What was your favorite fairy tale when you were a kid? Maybe Little Red Riding Hood? Are your parents still together? If not, do you know why? No. Mostly financial disagreements, but I know there's stuff I don't know. Have you ever been evicted? Why? Yes, because we couldn't keep up with rent. Have you ever worked as a manager or supervisor? Noooo. What was the last thing you voted for? So Snake Discovery (a reptile channel I love) hosted an enclosure build-off recently, and the winners were selected by fans via voting. The guy I voted for got 3rd. What's the most amazing animal you've ever seen in captivity? I've been very close to an elephant at a zoo once. They're magnificent. Having been to Sea World as a kid (I would NEVER go now), I also saw the killer whale show. As much of a spectacle as it was, it was animal abuse regardless. Do you like white chocolate? It's okay in small doses. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah. Do you talk to your pets? Um, duh. Have you ever adopted a stray? (Cat or dog?) Cats, yes. Do you read about any mythology? (Greek, Roman, Norse, Egyptian, etc) No, not by my own will. I DO love mythology, I just... don't read it. Do you ever use bath bombs? No. Have you ever gotten angry at an employee and complained to the manager? No. Have you ever sent your food back at a restaurant? Yes, because they got my meal wrong. I was REALLY shy to do it, but I made sure to do it politely and apologetically. Do you sleep in a bra? What mad lad sleeps in a bra???????????? Has your ex ever gone out with someone close to you? No. Can you suggest someone funny on YouTube? I'll go for someone what isn't my obvious vote, ha ha. There are truly so many, but Garrett Watts is high on the list. Elena Bateman, too. Can you do a handstand? No. Has anyone close to you ever been suicidal? Yes. Have you ever broken someone's heart and didn't care? Tyler sure acted like I did, and to be entirely frank, I didn't care very much, but only because it was a HUGE overreaction and I knew he'd be fine quick. What color is your hairbrush? It's just a white comb. Who was your most recent call from? My psychiatrist. Have you ever watched someone die? Only animals... It's the absolute worst. Are you currently "seeing" someone? No. Are you friends with someone who's autistic? I might be, but I know my niece is on the spectrum. Do you like humans? To be entirely transparent... I think I wish humans were never a thing. We've done so, so much harm to the planet, some things irrevocable. Earth would be a much healthier, far more peaceful place if we'd never existed. Do you like pandas? I love pandas. P.S., fuck outta here if you're one of the people who don't support conservation efforts for them. That shit blows my mind. What do you think of Evanescence? They're great. Amy's voice is absolutely incredible. I don't even think that's an opinion, but global fact, ha ha. What do you think of Avenged Sevenfold? I like some of their stuff. I haven't heard a whole lot though, honestly. What do you think of Halestorm? ^ Do you think you are attractive? God no. I don't see me as an attractive person at all. Do you like dinosaurs? I love 'em; I was OBSESSED as a kid, and my first aspired job was a paleontologist. Do you like lasagna? No. Do you share a room? No. When was the last time you climbed a tree? Never, actually. Have you ever been hospitalized for more than 2 weeks? I think my longest was three. What can you do that none of your friends can do? I dunno. Why did you last go to the airport? Mom and I were dropping Sara off so she could go home. Who was the last person to see you in your underwear? My mom. Who’s the most attractive female you’ve ever seen? Maybe Alissa White-Gluz from Arch Enemy? Or my friend Alon. I'm certain there's more, because women are just so fuckin beautiful asdkfajlwejkrjqwe Red, white, yellow, or pink roses? I actually like the original, rich red. Do you think someone would ever want to marry you? Well, two people have, but one absolutely doesn't anymore and the other knows that it's not healthy or emotionally safe for either of us to imagine that at this time. I don't know if anyone ever will again. Do you like Thanksgiving? No. Like I enjoy the focus on thankfulness, but the history isn't right and I don't enjoy the food. Do you ever wear colored eye liner? No. Have you ever used a darkroom? No. Have you ever been "popular"? No. Has someone ever tried to convert you? Yes. Have you ever been told that you dress like a slut? No, not that how someone dresses has any relevance to their sexual activity. What’s your most recent obsession? Final Fantasy X jfccccccc. Video games or board games? The former. Are you scared of tarantulas? As much as I talk about them... you can probably tell I have a massive interest in them, ha ha. However, even though I love them, they're still sorta scary. Like, threat poses are no joke. And it's terrifying on the very rare occasion they hiss. During Covid, do you wear a mask or no mask? I'm fully vaccinated, and yet I still wear a mask because I'm a considerate human fucking being. Do you have a PlayStation 4? No, but I reeeeaaally want one. :/ Have you ever played Fortnite? Nah, not my type of game. Do you like anime? Yeah. Have you ever been on a boat? Yeah. I was always SO excited as a kid when Dad would take the boat out for a fishing trip. Have you ever played Kingdom Hearts? I've played some of it with Jason. I wasn't a fan of it. Have you ever built a snowman? Yes. DC or Marvel? I don't really have a preference.

----------

Do you prefer your nails long or short? Why? Short, because I can't keep my nails long for the life of me. I pick/peel my nails badly. Do you have any vinyl records? No. Are you still in touch with your best friend from high school? No. Have you ever visited any celebrity gravesites? No. How do you feel about archaeology? It's extremely fascinating. Would you have a big cat (like a tiger) for a pet if you could? No. I could never provide the environment they need, and it's simply not safe. They are not domestic animals, and even the ones that seem most tame can surprise you. What are your favorite smells? Cinnamon rolls, coffee, lilac, fresh baked bread, barbecue, etc. Have you ever had to block people online for harassing you? I'm not sure, actually... What is your favorite thing to do on The Sims? Surveys have a lot of questions about those games... I only ever played the ones that focused on animals, and I think I most enjoyed breeding them and naming the bbz. :^) And watching their behavior. Which hair color you've had has been your favorite? Red. If you were stupid-rich, would you ever actually want a mansion? No. I do not need all that room, nor am I wasting my money on such excessive space. What drinking games have you played? None. Do you take lessons for anything? No. Has something really heavy ever fallen on you? No. If you wear makeup, what colors do you usually wear? Only black. Does your shower have curtains or a glass door/wall? Curtains. If you have more than one pet, do they ever get jealous of each other? One is a snake and the other is a cat, so. Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in? No. Besides salt and butter, do you put anything on your popcorn? Nothing besides what you mentioned. Are you lonely? I'm way too lonely for it to be healthy. Do you like pineapple? Yep. Have you ever seen fireflies? Yes; they're endemic to here. Have you ever trespassed? As a kid, yes. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did sometimes. Are you afraid of heights? Yes. Are you afraid of the dark? No. Would you ever be your school’s mascot who wears that costume? No. Have you ever written a poem? I've written a lot. Would you ever be a tornado chaser? FUCK TO THE HELL NO. What is your favorite thing to eat with bbq sauce, if you even like that stuff? I hate bbq sauce. Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? No. Have you ever been to the rainforest? No. Ever thought about writing a book? Yes. Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone? Yes. Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube? Nope. Have you seen all of the Jaws movies? No, only the first one with Tyler. It was aight. Have you ever had a black eye? No. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? I haven't seen a picture of Jason in years, and I don't want to. Not because I care about how he looks now, it'd just be extremely triggering to see his face. I still find Sara gorgeous. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. How often does your employer ask you to work overtime? N/A When was the last time you were scared? Ummmm I really can't say I know. What’s your favorite song by Rihanna? "Disturbia" is where it's AT. There's this synthwave edit of it that I positively adore. Can you speak binary? No. Have you ever had a pet that you disliked? A family pet, yes. Do you like boys with long hair? UGH yes. Do you like root beer? Not really, no. Do you like ice cream cake? Not really. Do you ever dream of yourself dying? That's not all that rare in my nightmares. What song always makes you sad? I think two songs are tied for what makes me most sad: "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin and "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White. Were you mean as a little kid? No; I was a sweet kid. Have you ever tried spam? No, it looks SO gross to me. How fast can you run? This is pathetic, but I don't think I CAN run. My knees are too weak. I think my weight coming down on them would just make me crumple over. Have you ever bought something from Spencer's? Yeah. Have you ever been on a diet? I've tried diets many times. Do you prefer light or dark jeans? Dark. When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? I almost always just listen. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yeah. Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person? Jason. I miss his memory every day. I say "memory" because it's been years, and I have no way of knowing who he is today. How many cars are parked at your house right now? One. Has anyone ever told you you’re a control freak? No. Do you know anyone who has gone missing? If so, were they ever found? Not personally. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings with extremely hot sauce at Buffalo Wild Wings. Have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk? Um yeah, no. Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? No. I don't like sprinkles in general. Do you know how to do the moon walk? No. Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice? Yes, somehow. Onion rings or french fries? French fries, for sure. Who is the best cook that you know? Dunno. If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? When I was a kid. I don't remember the age, but I was old enough to decide myself that I wanted them pierced. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? They have their own places now. Do you like fried rice? Yessss. Are there any animals you refuse to touch? Some bugs. Have you ever intentionally fed a house spider? I don't believe so, no. What makes you feel lucky? That I have the family I do. What is something nice going on in your life right now? Just the gym-going, really... Who’s the worst person you’ve encountered on the Internet? An old friend I just knew as Shakes. If death wasn’t a consequence, what would you try? Maybe sky-diving, idk. Has a teacher ever told you off? No. Have you ever told off a teacher? No. Do/did you take school seriously or not? I certainly did. How do you usually cope with breakups? Not well. I obsess over how something's wrong with me and I'm not good enough for anyone. Disney princess or Disney animal movies? Animals, for sure. What's your favorite Katy Perry song? It's evading me right now... Have you ever made/tried friendship bread!? Omg, I forgot that was a thing! I actually have. I've completely forgotten the gist of it or even how it tastes, but I remember I loved it. What do you want to know about the future? If I'll ever be content and happy. What's your biggest insecurity? My weight. Ever found something disgusting in your food while eating out? No, thank god. Does the area where you live have a good or bad reputation? A very bad one. Are there any holidays that you don't celebrate? Yeah, like St. Patrick's Day, among some others. If you could find out who you're gonna marry right now, would you? Yes. Save myself time and heartbreak. How important is it to you that your partner has the same religious views? I wouldn't date someone very religious. If they're more tame about it, that's fine, but I'd prefer to not date a religious individual. Do you own a Wii? Yeah. I've kinda been wanting to play Guitar Hero or Rock Band lately on it... Do you like a lot of cheese on your pizza? "A regular, reasonable amount of cheese." <<<< This. I really don't like when things are so cheesy that it leaves a ridiculous trail when you try to separate pieces. Have you ever been made fun of because of your sexuality? Not directly to my face, but I can guarantee people I know had certain ~opinions~ on it when I came out. I also like just came out as pansexual versus bi, and I'm not even telling a lot of people in my personal life because I know they'll find the concept absolutely ridiculous. What would you do if you found an abandoned animal? "Depends on what type of an animal it was, and whether it was friendly or skittish." <<<< This. I'm obviously not going to try to usher a rabid dog over to me (I'd call a rescue or something if the animal appeared potentially dangerous), but if the animal appeared safe, my heart would absolutely lead me to try and get the animal to come to me so I could take it home and try to find the owner. Have you ever kissed someone who had a tongue piercing? No. What singer/band do you think deserves to be more famous than they are? Jonathan Young from YouTube. He is INCREDIBLE. He deserves to be picked up by a label so badly. What is your favorite PlayStation 1 game? The original Silent Hill, no competition. Do you think objectum sexuals are real, or attention seekers? I really can't imagine someone pretending to want to fuck their car for attention. I don't get it AT ALL, and it's weird as shit to me, but I mean, I don't think people can control what they're attracted to. How far out of your age bracket would you date? 21-early 30s, probs. Have you ever had an STD? No. Have you ever tried pho? No. Pick one: Crash Bandicoot or Spyro? Spyro!!!! I have the original trilogies of both series, but Spyro is where it's AT. Does your job allow piercings or tattoos? I'm unemployed, but I wouldn't work at a job that didn't, honestly. If you could dye your hair any color right now with absolutely no restrictions, what color would you dye it? Maybe like a galaxy-esque mixture of layered colors. I've wanted that for YEARS. Have you ever known a white supremacist? This region is swimming in them. Have you ever spoken to a detective before? No. Do ladders scare you? Climbing them does, yes. Do you have any tattoos on your arms? Yeah. Have you ever thrown up on anybody? Unless I did unknowingly as a baby, no. How many people have you turned down when they asked you out? Uhhh two or three, maybe? What is your favourite kind of fruit cobbler? I actually haven't tried enough to have an educated favorite, but I can say I love peach. Do you hear any other people talking right now? I'm watching a let's player play Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, so I hear her, obviously. When was the last time you started a new medication? It's been a while, idk. What is your favourite type of nut? Cashews, I guess. I don't really like nuts, but I definitely like cashew bars. Where did you eat the best pizza you’ve ever eaten in your life? ... Domino's lmaoooo. Did you ever watch The Rugrats when you were a kid? Yeah, I loved that show. I even had two video games. Do you know anyone who was adopted? Yes. Can you name all 50 US state capital cities? No. Can you tie balloons? I can't, actually. Have you had a deep conversation with anyone today? Yeah. I wanted Sara's advice on something I'm dealing with. On your Facebook friends list, who was the last person to have their b-day? One of my sisters' was yesterday, actually. What did you/are you having for dinner tonight? I had Special K cereal. Name some healthy foods that you enjoy eating. Strawberries, apples, bananas, (sometimes) broccoli, other things that aren't coming to me. Who was the last person you Facebook messaged? My friend Girt. What flavor was the last cupcake you ate? The cupcake itself was chocolate, and the icing was uhhhh... blue? Apart from sleeping, what do you plan to do tonight? I haven't done anything of note. I'm probably going to bed soon. What’s the age difference between your parents? Two years, I think. When was the last time you ate an apple? Today. I have been on a big sliced apples w/ peanut butter kick lately. Have you had any caffeinated beverages today? I have soda every day. :x Have you eaten any chocolate today? What kind? Mom brought me a Reese's home today when she went out with a friend. How many different towns/cities have you lived in? Three. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone special? Poems, yes. Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? Not very much physically. Emotionally... I don't know. Do you have any ice cream in your freezer? What flavor is it? No. Ice cream is my #1 comfort food, so that's a big "keep out of the house."

#survey #surveys #random questions

2 notes · View notes

warfesgts · 3 years

Text

some cruel test to see what he would do if they gave him a horse and set him free

Jon backed away. Appropriately, the 7:30 pm concert is at Reed College's Kaul Auditorium. Ask, and it can be restored to you. Judge Hall, who delivered the dissenting opinion in the above case based his conclusions, as we conceive, upon erroneous principles, by considering the laws of Rome applicable here. “And what besides! Why, time. It errs on the side of more juice, which is a little scary when you're hitting the limits of your llantas 4x4 online chip or cooler.). The humble tent of Yezzan zo Qaggaz proved to be a palace of lemon-colored silk. If the little varmints were lurking and caught adidas fg you threatening the local outlaw, they might hear expressions such as, "Go to Jericho, Geeswas, Dodgasted, By Jing, Dagnabbit". The result would be an atmosphere which is hotter near the surface and colder higher up. She could find the kitchens by their smell, tell men from women by their scents. Some are getting help with homework.. Some are sick and will need nursing. Waterfront home located in beautiful Portsmouth, RI. We humbly ask for the opportunity to come along side Governor Abercrombie and be the work engine todevelop and enhance his ideas and goals for building a better Hawaii.We will work in partner with 80 organizations to:Be able to incubate hundreds of start up entrepreneurship companies and develop hundreds of jobs that never existed in Hawaii before.HDSC will help over 5,000 people in need (homeless, elderly, youth, veterans, gangs, or anyone that needs help. “Watch the maester’s tower. Reek did not dare to look back, for fear that Damon and Yellow Dick and Grunt nike black tn 001 and the rest were coming after him, that all of this was just another of Lord Ramsay’s japes, some cruel test to see what he would do if they gave him a horse and set him free. Another boomed "good shot, good shot" when Chase drove R Ashwin down the ground. The choices are relatively limited, with T shirts, posters, tote bags, keychains, tambourines, pingpong balls and the like. New to biciclete rusesti vechi

Mens ADIDAS ORIGINALS

San Francisco, CM was extremely patient, helpful and guided us well in purchasing our first home in the City. Avoiding drinking tea, coffee or red wine, especially in the hour after using the gel, can also help prevent staining. The knight went with it, a log caught in a current. Big U had earned the right to stay and, hindsight being 20/20, there were highly unfortunate health issues that were likely in play that made that ending more challenging. Remember the pitches touring sides are faced with over there.. She wanted to talk to dad about it. But when you get up again and put weight on the foot, the foot and ankle may feel stiff (because of the inflammation) and the pain will return either at the back of the heel or on the soles of the feet.. 'It's mortifying!' Senior female BBC star tells of her. All of them have reasons. Tabor returned the following week against Kentucky and quickly showed why he's widely considered a first round NFL draft pick in 2017. Thank you to Richard and Linda Seekatz for their help throughout the year sorting and tagging dresses and shoes and their help at the event. Dany was so pleased galeb spodnjice to see his leathery brown face that she hugged him. "Shoes are challenging to be on feet. In the past our environment has often been over exploited to provide products which mean its ability to provide the full range of benefits is jeopardised. Yes, the Radeon HD 5770 can run all Eyefinity resolutions, but in most games that is going to cost you a severe drop in image quality and thus the gameplay experience. “Get her dressed. "The increase in annual capacity, the number of models produced, and the number of jobs on site, reinforce the major role BMW is playing in chaussettes bon marché the region's economic vitality through technological innovation, environmental stewardship, and development of a highly skilled workforce.". He was dependent upon them for work. Ice needs to be at least four inches thick before a person can walk on it, Beatty said. Scandal and falsehood and calumny have already done their worst. Said it was cooler. Ore from Tom Mine and the adjacent Ptarmigan Mine both owned by Treminco until it shut down production in 1997 due to crashing gold prices were processed at the same plant, Roehlig said. I understand though, you are angry with him. They would not hold much longer … but behind them was only earth and stone. The escalator severed tendons and muscles and broke bones. We had a great game from (junior goalkeeper) Max Durchholz, especially in his communicating with the (defense) in disco duro externo pita cleaning up anything that was there.". When they joined, where they fought, how long they served, the manner of their deaths—all in the book. Before he forged his chain, Maester Walys had been known as Walys Flowers. Serve well, Lord Bolton told them, and he would be merciful. Abandoned buildings were seen less often, the naked children vanished, the bravos in the doorways seemed more sumptuously dressed. 1753. Queen Cersei has the right of it. Perhaps the Iron Bank could help find some noble family to foster her. One moment he had been soaring above the Wall, his eagle’s eyes marking the movements of the men below. Section 1411 of the law will levy a 3.8 percent "Medicare tax" on capital gains, dividends, rents and royalties. The clouds condense out of the hot, ionized gas that suffuses the space between the galaxies in this cluster. I thought he was horrible, but because everyone else was being so pleasant, I did. “I am here at the command of Ramsay Bolton, Lord of the Hornwood and heir to the Dreadfort, who captured me at Winterfell. Ah, Vanya, my dear! If I am unhappy again, if more trouble comes, you’ll be here beside me, I know; perhaps you’ll be the only one! How can I repay you for everything! Don’t curse me ever, Vanya!”. His biciclete pretscales were hot to the touch, like armor left too long in the sun. Bilingual Knitting and Crocheting class at Woodstock Library. We were kings and the Blackwoods were our vassals, but they betrayed us and usurped the crown. The Thenns have lords and laws.” They know how to kneel. But by the time Bielfeldt left the arena Wednesday afternoon, he carried with him a new personal best in that department.. But does he deserve a dressing-gown like that? He’d rather be tippling than anything. You have done well by him. “He’s simply not like himself,” she said, “he’s in a fever, at night he prays in secret on his knees before the ikons. Catlett, let me remind you that participants of this call will make forward looking statements based on current expectations, and

chanel ágynemű

those statements are subject to certain risks and uncertainties that could cause actual results to differ materially. Records are created to be broken, but certain records are created to admire.. Trees and power lines down. "In his years as head coach Bob has worked very hard to bring success to Auburn Riverside football," Aubert said. Next is reigning in the slide motion/latch/trigger design. He served as chairman of Beaverbrook newspapers from 1968 to 1977 and was made president for life after the company that publishes the Daily Express, the Sunday Express and London's Standard newspaper was taken over by the Trafalgar House group..

1 note · View note

fishingformoncy-blog · 5 years

Text

$$$ T H R E E S .

repost, do not reblog.

MUSE : EUGENE H. KRABS. ( MR. KRABS )

$ 𝟑 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐓𝐇𝐒.

Though it’s usually only in his own favor, he really is an amazing businessman. He knows psychology when it comes to prices and money, and knows how to swindle people of it via media, advertisement, and bargains. I’m sure everyone knows that one devious thing that companies do. They’ll say that some price was recently marked down from a higher price to make a deal, but it was actually always that price the whole time? He does that all the time. He also gives out frequent bargains that seem like they’re cheaper, but they’re not really cheaper in the long run ( i.e. i work at panera -- if you get an entire meal with a drink you can get a cookie for .99 cents. an actual cookie is a little less than 3 dollars. but it’s actually cheaper to get the cookie and no drink ) .

His morality is one of the biggest strengths he has. Though it is pretty grey when it comes to money, life is something really important to him. Growing up extremely poor he learned that life is very, very precious. And it only strengthened when he joined the navy to pay for business schooling. Seeing so many people die and having to use violence when being taught that it shouldn’t be necessarily really made him see that people are important and everyone has a reason. Unless of course, it comes to his money. If someone steals even a dollar from them, they’re getting horribly injured or killed. No one comes between him and his cash / fear of being poor again.

Speaking of cash, he is really good with it. In school, he didn’t really excel at anything aside from physical education, art, and math. He adored math because it forced him to focus and it alleviated his mind of stress. Not to mention it aided him when it came to managing cash and excelling in business school. If you need help with your finances, he is definitely someone to ask. He’ll teach you to love your money like it’s your child, so you can save it for something important, not superficial.

$ 𝟑 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐒.

Money is his biggest strength, as well as his biggest weakness. Like I mentioned before, if anything comes between he and his cash, they won’t survive much longer. For example, in the episode where SandP get him a new bed, and Squid wanted to take all the credit, he almost choked him to death. Because all of his saved money was stuffed inside the mattress. Before that, he tore his room apart in a panicked frenzy. Also in the episode where the urchin invades the Krusty Krab, after seeing the urchin eat all his money in the cash register, he has a small panic attack and beats the fuck out of the thing, even though it hardly takes damage.

He can be pretty judgmental when it comes to certain ethnicities or types of people, I’ve noticed. Usually formed off of personal opinion or from what he’s seen / experienced. Those opinions can quickly change however, when proven otherwise. He is a very gullible man, especially when money is involved. He used to hate Sandy for fucking with Spongebob’s head simply because she was “a mammal,” until she started getting him money. So don’t be surprised if he can be a bit harsh at first. His mind can be easily changed, though.

He is eager to find love again, especially since he believes that he can’t find it truly anymore. After his first love either died or left ( i’m starting to lean more toward she died but we’ll see if canon ever says something ) , he’s really hoping that there will be someone out there for him. I’m not sure if everyone will consider this a weakness or not, but he does tend to be extremely flirtatious to women, especially those who are younger than him. It always ends up flaking though -- many people can’t stand how absolutely obsessed he is with money. The arguments about cash are numerous; most likely why he stopped seeing Miss Puff.

$ 𝟑 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐒. ( ASIDE FROM THE FORMULA ITSELF )

Plankton was the one who made the formula, actually! It was an accident that was caused by him slamming the door and pouring all the ingredients from a shelf into the tenderized beef. When Eugene tasted the incident and saw how beautiful it was, he claimed it was his own to get back at Plankton for wanting to have the recipe all for himself at first. After pulling out all the ingredients from the beef as a kid, he divided the missing amount from the containers and made the formula that way. To dig deeper into the secret, he would have wholeheartedly shared it with Plankton after all the craziness from the burger calmed down. But then he began bullying him. This will never be told to anyone, no matter who it is. The only one who would know is Plankton, if their friendship is ever rekindled.

He used to smoke in high school, which no one really ever knew. The only one who did know was again, Plankton. He stopped doing it when he joined the navy, as he knew he needed the extra strength and needed to break the addiction. He already had one, he didn’t need another. To this day, he still sometimes craves one, and tends to use other stress relievers ( talking to money about it is something he does a lot ) to try and break the crippling desire from time-to-time.

It’s really hard thinking of a third one, so I guess just his past in general? He really hates seeming like a poor person, and it embarrasses him to even be considered poor in anyone’s eyes. He envies people richer than him, and genuinely looks up to people who are popular businessmen / women. He wants to be as rich as them before he dies. So if you wanna hear his backstory, there better be a good fucking reason to. Because otherwise he’d be too uncomfortable sharing how poor he used to be. It makes him fucking cringe just thinking about it.

$ 𝟑 𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒

BEING POOR . His biggest fear is somehow losing sight of all the money he has, someone stealing it all, and being tossed back into the dirt. He never wants to live that life again. Too much has happened since he gained his money: he’s helped his entire family for helping him through his life; his daughter depends on it. He won’t be able to live without money. It scares him so much that he coud literally kill people if someone even touches his finances.

Losing his daughter is a big one. He’s a pretty lonely man enough as it is. He can’t even understand his daughter half the time which is a huge struggle in his life, but it’s one he can deal with so long as he has her. He might not always know how to show it, but he does genuinely love her, and wants to give her a life growing up that he never had. Which admittedly, makes her somewhat spoiled. If anything happened to her he would be devastated and absolutely depressed. Would probably feel like he let his lover down, too.

Losing Spongebob. Though this one isn’t as big as the other two by any means, it’s still pretty high on the list. Unless firing him will give him more money in the long run, he wants to keep Spongebob on his deployment chart. His back hurts like the dickens because of his old age so he can’t cook as well as he used to when he was younger, it’s going to be extremely difficult to find someone who will work for near ten - twelve hour days with only a few benefits and getting paid minimum wage, someone who cooks so outstandingly well, and will wait on customers with happiness and joy. He would be in a really tight situation and he knows his store would suffer if he lost him.

$ 𝟑 𝐆𝐎𝐀𝐋𝐒

To obtain as much money as heart desires! Which, theoretically is impossible. But as long as he can die rich, he will be happy. He doesn’t care what else happens. Furthermore, he wants to make sure that any money leftover from the business when he does pass on either goes to the person who takes it over -- which will most-likely be Spongebob, or his daughter for her education / career purposes.

Make Pearl happy. He knows he can’t satisfy her all the time or necessarily be there for her all the time because he’s usually off at work, or because he doesn’t understand her, but he just wants make sure she has what she wants. He could never get what he wanted as a child which didn’t really upset him much until he was told he couldn’t get a job until after his schooling was over. But he spoils her to make sure she doesn’t feel like she can’t have what she wants, and so she doesn’t end up feeling poor like he did.

To become friends with Plankton again To make sure that at any and all times, the Krusty Krab has better profits, audiences, atmosphere, and business than the Chum Bucket. Even if that little, green devil has one customer it means terrible news. That’s another person lost for him, along with their families, and everything else.

TAGGED BY : @90smagicalboy ! ( thanks duDE THIS W A SD O PE ! ) TAGGING : @youwillobcy , @spngie , @cynicalcephalopod , @hisnote , @mechbrane , and anyone else who wants to !

#; | ME WORST FEAR ! WEARIN' . . . RAGS . ( musings ) ¢#; | MEMES ¢#( THIS TOOK ME A REALLY LONG TIME BUT I AM PROUD OF IT )#( most of it was another secret? like i literally tried digging through any research online but i couldn't really )#( think of anything so I MEAN )#( he always hates talking about being poor so i figured that that would be enough )

7 notes · View notes

fuckyeahfics · 4 years

Text

Sturmvoegel - Interlude One

Rated: R/NC-17

Word count: 8073

Warning: domestic violence, sexual content, childbirth

A/n: I can't believe how long this took, but it is finally here. Sturmvoegel is about to take off. I hope you're ready to meet Anne and Dotty once again and another, very special character. Enjoy this little journey back in time.

___

Summer 1699

The sun was shining through the window and drawing shadows onto the chopping board, but the light hands barely noticed the warm rays that danced over them.

Anne was busy chopping carrots and her thirteen going on fourteen year old sister did her best to help her, but Dorothy was preoccupied.

"You are going to end up cutting yourself," the older one lectured the younger one, a soft smile on her lips.

Dotty only rolled her eyes. "Stop it Anne," she complained.

Anne put the knife down and turned around to face her sister. "Please," the older one begged. "Be careful."

"Why are we even doing this," the young teenage girl complained. "We have servants for such kind of work."

"Oh Dotty," her sister laughed, before she continued chopping. "There is nothing wrong with helping a little around the house."

Anne could not see how Dotty stuck her tongue out, she was concentrating on the vegetables in front of her.

"I don't even like carrots," the young teenage girl complained again, no longer helping her older sister. She shoved a few carrots away and one fell onto the ground.

"Dorothy," Anne complained while swiping away some sweat with the back of her hand. "I would love to be somewhere else too, but we promised mammy that we would help her today."

The younger girl crossed her arms. "But why do I have to help with the washing later when you can go to the market on your own." Her pouting made her look very young and adorable and Anne put the knife down to pull her into her arms.

"I am older, that's why I can go into town on my own," she whispered into her sisters hair. "But you only have to wait a few more weeks and then I'll take you with me."

"It's just not fair," the younger one sobbed. "Everything has changed since granddad died."

Anne could hear the pain through seeping through her sisters voice and she had to held back her tears, the wounds were still so fresh that she could not swallow her tears.

"Poppa would not want us to cry, remember," the older one tried to calm her sister. "Life is far too short to cry over the past."

They both held each other close and allowed themselves to grief a little, when someone stormed into the room.

"Why is it that you two always cause trouble," a man shouted, his face red from anger. "All you do is cost me money."

The two girls jumped away from each other and tried to hide their tear stained eyes. "We are sorry for causing you any displeasure," Anne finally managed to let out, while stroking over her dress, flattening it from the invisible crinkles.

"No, you're not," he only shouted again. "You will be the death of me."

"What is it, Sir," Dotty dared to asked, not looking up.

"You two," he spit out, pointing towards the girls. "Your mother just ordered me," he emphasized the last words." She ordered me to buy you some new dresses."

Anne had to hide her annoyance, this man was just awful and she hated him with every ounce of her heart. "Why did mother ask you to," she then asked rather submissively.

"To get you married off, I hope." He stepped closer and pushed Anne's chin up painfully. "You, Missy," he said in a vile tone while his gaze wandered over her young, female body. "You shall be out of here as soon as possible."

"Nooo," the younger one shouted in fear. "Please," she begged, running into her sister's arms again. "Please let her stay a little longer."

"Dorothee," the man was watching her closely. "How dare you raise your voice like that!"

The young girl stepped forward and looked him straight in the eyes. "You are not our father, so stop ruining our life!"

He was taken aback by the young girls brave confession, even if it was only for a second. "How dare you," he whispered angrily, his hand raised to punish her.

"Please," Anne begged, pushing little Dotty behind her. "Please don't punish her."

Their step father was smiling now. "Oh Anne," he whispered in his German accent, his hand caressing her cheek rather roughly. "Always so gracious and bountiful." He noticed how she looked away and it angered him even more.

"Since you stepped up," he then let out, before raising his hand and hitting her across the face, watching her go onto her knees and holding the injured spot. "You shall pay the price."

"How," Dotty started, but her sister stopped her and pulled her down.

"Thank you for the lesson," Anne whispered, before getting up and bowing down to him. "I shall be more careful in the future."

He stepped closer once again, smiling with pride when he saw her wince at his presence. The man pushed her hands away and inspected her face.

"This should heal in a week or two," he laughed. "Enough time for the ship to leave the harbour." Anne's eyes widened in shock.

"Oh you poor, stupid girl," her stepfather chuckled. "Did you really believe I didn't know about your little affair with this sailor."

He looked her up and down again. "Let's just hope he didn't leave anything behind, right." With that he turned around and left the two girls.

Anne was staring at the closed door, pure shock running through her veins. She had been so careful, yet it seemed as if her biggest secret has never been a secret at all.

"What did he mean," her sister asked curiously.

"Oh Dotty," Anne whispered, before sinking down again, this time she was not able to hold back her tears. "I made a horrible mistake."

The young teen pulled her knees against her chest and hugged them, rocking herself back and forth while she let her tears roam free.

"Anne," her younger sister sat down next to her and tried to comfort her, but normally it was the other way around and everything she tried seemed useless. "Anne," the girl said again.

The addressed turned a little until her tear stained eyes faced the younger one. "Dotty," she whispered in-between sobs, "promise me to never fall in love."

Dorothy laughed so loud that she held her hand over her mouth to stifle the sound a little "Me," she choked back. "Why should I ever fall in love."

Her older sister lifted herself up and pulled her into her arms. "Oh my poor, young lass," Anne finally addressed her. "Love is noting you expect, it just happens and once you are in love you can get hurt."

"Hurt as in hit by papa," she used a mocking tone on the last word, clearly not having any daughterly feelings for that cruel man.

"No," Anne replied, her voice dark and low. She took a deep breath before she continued. "This pain", the teen gestured towards her now colourful eye, "it's nothing in comparison."

"Love makes your heart jump out of your ribcage only for you to watch it being trampled down."

The younger one looked up into her sisters eyes. "Well then I will never fall in love."

"Good," Anne nodded. "Now let's finish this so that I can fall out of love too."

They got up and the older one acted as if nothing had happened, but her steps seemed heavier, a little like she was carrying a heavy burden.

Once they finished their task the older one left her sister to go to their room and try to hide the colourful mark that tainted her lilac skin. She knew that Edward would go after her stepfather if he knew what happened earlier.

The girl managed to cover some of it by using the expensive powder her dear grandfather had brought them from Paris, but she knew that it was easy to look right through her.

She got up and searched the room until she found a shawl that was big enough to cover her head and her shoulders. Anne made sure to wear it tight, it might not hide her injury up close but it would stand up from a distance.

Dotty was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs. "Do you really want to go?"

The older one could not look her in the eyes. "I have to," the girl whispered, sounding very tired.

"But why," her sister wept. "If he finds out he'll punish you even more," the girl held onto her sister. "Or worse, just marry you off."

"Dotty," Anne whispered. "I have to go and see him one last time."

"Promise," the young one begged.

"I promise," her sister reassured her and she walked away, not willing to turn around and let her sister see that she lied.

The town of Bristol was busy at this time of the day and people were greeting her left and right. Anne knew that it was thanks to her grandfather that people knew her, but she would've preferred to stay invisible today.

Anne knew where to find Edward, but she was scared of his reaction so she lingered around for a while before she actually made her way to the little cabin, their hideout.

It was situated far on the outside of the promenade, an old fishers shack that no one had used in decades. The girl wondered how Edward acquired the keys, but she had long given up to getting straight answers from him.

A part of her wanted to keep the promise she gave her sister and as she walked towards the dark wooden door the waves that crashed onto the shore remembered her that she was risking her life for something as simple as feeling loved.

She stopped, her hands touching the door, the wood worn out and hardened by the seasons. Anne had to take a deep breath while she tried to blink away her tears.

This had been going on for too long, she knew that they never had a future, but Anne loved the way his kisses made her feel.

"Are you going to come in," a male voice questioned and the girl blushed a little.

"I am sorry," she apologized, while opening the door and sliding inside. "I was lost in my thoughts."

"You always are, my dove," the young man whispered, he took the shawl off of her and his hands caressed her cheeks.

"Oh Edward," the girl whispered and she closed her eyes when he bowed down to kiss her. Anne felt as if lightning was going right through her and she only stepped back when her lips started to tingle.

"What took you so long," he questioned and the girl knew that she had to come up with a good lie.

"I was helping my mother," Anne told him, hoping that staying close to the truth would be enough to convince him."

"My dove," he whispered again, his hands brushing softly over her hair. "Why are you shielding your eyes like this." He stepped closer again and pushed her chin up, his eyes scanning hers.

"They are far too beautiful," he started, but once he noticed the marks left by her stepfather he stopped.

"Edward," the girl weeped. "It is nothing, please." She grabbed his hands but he shook her off.

"Who," was all he hissed through his teeth. When he saw her wincing due to his harsh tone he looked apologetic. The young man turned her a little to inspect the wound properly.

"My love," he tried again and she could hear that he was trying to suppress his anger. "Who did that to you."

Anne just sobbed and that was answer enough for Edward, he pulled her into his chest and comforted her as good as he could.

"My stepfather knows about you," the girl finally confessed.

"But how," the boy wondered, watching how the girl cleaned herself up, her eyes still tear-stained.

"He just does."

"Well," Edward announced. "There is only one solution for our problem." He picked up his sword and it made Anne lose all the colour from her face.

"No," the girl begged. "Edward if you go after them they will kill you."

"They won't," the boy tried to reassure her, but she was not willing to listen. "I need to revenge you."

"Am I not good enough," Anne questioned.

"What do you mean, my dove," he turned around his eyes slightly lifted up. "You are more than good enough and you know that."

"So why is it that you decide what to do instead of listen to me." Anne took a deep breath, she knew that the next few seconds would determine how the rest of her life would go.

"Why is it that you want to take revenge in my name, instead of comforting me."

The girl watched him until she was certain that she had his whole attention. "Why is it that you want to take care of him, instead of taking care of me."

Edward watched the young teenager in surprise, the way she stood there impressed him.

"Malady is right," he finally let out, leaving the sword leaned against the wall. "So, my dove," he stepped closer and watched her. "What is it, that would comfort you."

The girl took a deep breath and collected all her courage only to step forward. Her dress was carefully fastened around her body, but with a few simple movements she managed to make it fall off onto the ground.

Edward stood there frozen, never had his eyes seen so much beauty before and a part of him just wanted to take her there, but he knew that she was inexperienced and trusted him with her life.

"My dove," he whispered, clearly surprised, but she shut him up, by stepping closer and kissing him.

"I trust you," the girl whispered against his lips and that was all he needed to hear.

Edward guided her towards the mattress, he regretted that they were in such a despicable place and not a palace, but Anne's beauty was enough to make this shack seem like a beautiful castle.

Once she lied down he took her in, memorizing every single part of her, before he kneed down next to her and cherish her in every way possible.

Anne traded her innocence for her stepfathers life, and in a way for the life of her lover and while this trade was not what she had intended at first she never regretted one second of the bargain.

There are many ways to feel loved, but she experienced the most raw one she could ever imagine. And when she laid in his arms afterwards, her body shaking from the new experience she wondered if the sweet taste of lust would be enough to banish her to hell.

She closed her eyes, her head resting on his chest, listening to his heartbeat that was just as rapid as the waves crashing against their hideout.

The girl could feel her wound from earlier burn, but the overall feeling of pure exhaustion was too overwhelming for her to care.

Edward kissed the top of her head and pulled her even closer, her skin so soft against his own. His hands held her close and he allowed himself to indulge in the feeling of pure bliss.

"I will always love you," he promised, his voice merely a whisper and while the girl did not want to take his word on it she still smiled.

Little did both of them know that they had just challenged fate and that their little encounter would haunt their life's for eternity.

The two lovers did not care, they were not aware of the world that surrounded them. For a moment they only saw each other and fate allowed them to escape their harsh reality just for a bit.

***

The cold wind from the north brought the first snow to Bristol and covered the whole town in a dirty grey - Anne's feet felt heavy as she pushed through the wet substance and she tightened her grip around her shawl to keep the small hint of warmth that her body could still offer.

A basked hung from her arm, the content barely visible due to the snow covering it, but a green piece of vegetable peaked out of the dirty mud.

She stopped for a second and closed her eyes in exhaustion when she finally reached their home - the servants were running around busy to acquire any kind of food this harsh winter so her stepfather made her responsible for the daily market trip.

Anne knew that something was not right with her, she had grown heavy and her feet were always swollen and hurt, but she was too scared to go to a physician. Deep down she feared that god was punishing her for her sins, especially for lying with a man who wasn't her husband.

The young girl scrunched her nose up by the though of being married, Anne knew that her stepfather would never let her marry out of love, so being married seemed more like a punishment than a blessing.

Fortunately the man had left a couple of weeks ago and he wouldn't be back for a while, visiting relatives and discussing trade deals on the continent - she smiled at the thought of not seeing him for a while and pushed forward, ready to throw off her wet clothes and have some hot beverage in front of the fire.

The stairs were slippery and she had to hold onto the bannister, nearly falling down. Anne took another small step, when the basked on her arm fell a little and gravitation pulled her down.

She was lucky when she landed on her bum, but Anne barely noticed the sharp sting or the basket that toppled over and spew its content into the wet mess - she found herself holding her stomach in confusion.

At first she felt as if she was unwell, but then something moved and while it should have scared her to death Anne felt content. She held her stomach, carefully caressing it, when it finally dawned her.

The girl knew why she felt so sick all these month ago and why walking around seemed so much harder this winter. She had heard whispers about this before, but deep down she had always thought people were just joking.

Anne was certain now that her sins came back to haunt her, only that she could not feel like the little miracle inside of her was a punishment.

The girl closed her eyes and she could feel her heartbeat, wondering if the little thing inside her had one too.

When Edward had left this last summer he might've taken her heart, but he had left her with something too - she was carrying his child right under her heart.

She could feel the innocent life inside of her move again and Anne wondered what she was supposed to do now. The girls had heard whispers of witches who would touch a woman's belly to make the baby go away, but the though alone made her heart bleed out.

Anne slowly managed to get up again and she bowed down to pick up the vegetables when she made up her mind.

Her child would live.

***

Spring was finally here, but Anne could not enjoy it. She did not care for the snowdrops that started blooming and died soon after, nor for the lesser celandine that started appearing everywhere.

In previous years Dotty and her had looked forward to the meadows covered in bluebells, but she was too scared of the future to think about the beauty of nature now.

The young woman who wasn't yet 16 sat on a chair and held her swollen belly. Her hand caressed the round bulge and she closed her eyes and sighed. Her lips were dry and no matter how much she drank, she felt as if she was parched.

It was early morning and the birds were chirping their happy songs, but she was unable to enjoy it. Pain had been a constant these past couple of days and she felt weak and unable to eat.

Thankfully her parents were about to leave and hadn't paid much attention to the two girls. She knew that they'd be gone for some month and that thought helped her push through the pain.

The mother-to-be leaned against the edge of the chair and starred down on her feet, realising that she couldn't remember the last time she'd seen them standing up.

Her younger sister came into the room, carrying a tray with a wooden cup and some thickly cut bread and putting it down on the table in front of Anne.

"They are finally gone," the younger one said, standing up straight and brushing over her dress. "Are you ok," the girl questioned, pushing her sisters face up to see it in the light. "You look as if you've seen at least ten ghosts."

Anne closed her eyes and took a deep breath, choosing her words carefully. "I am not doing so well, Dotty," she finally admitted and she regretted it as soon as she opened her eyes and realised that her sister was looking even more worried now.

"Oh Anne," the girl let out, going onto her knees and resting her head in her sister's lap. "Anne what will we do now?"

The older one brushed through the young girls hair, she took a deep breath and tried to say something, when an unknown and sharp pain hit her in the stomach. She sunk down onto her sister and cried silently, biting her lower lip to make sure no sound would come past them.

"ANNE," her younger sister screamed, getting up and trying to lift her sister back onto the chair properly. "Anne, what is wrong."

"Pain," was all the soon-to-be mother managed to mumble through her teeth. "It hurts so much." She looked up to her sister, tear-stained face and in that moment she looked even younger than she was.

"Anne, please...," her sister pleaded, but realised that it was useless. Dotty took a deep breath before addressing the pregnant girl again. "Anne, we have to get you back on the bed," she then ordered, certain that she had to do something.

Both girls did their best to manage and Dotty managed to lift her up and shove and push her towards the bed. She was too weak to actually carry her.

The bed was against the wall and the younger girl pushed the duvet away before helping her sister sit down. "Lean against the wall," she ordered, before rushing back to the table and grabbing the mug. "I know you might not feel like it," Dotty said," but I need you to drink the warm goat milk."

Anne rolled her eyes, she felt weak and sick and the thought of warm milk passing through her lips made her gag, but she knew that her sister was right. So she did her best to lean against the wall, taking the mug with both hands.

The scent of stable hit her and deep musk and she did the best to not gag.

"I know, it smells disgusting," Dotty said, watching her closely, "but you haven't eaten properly in days and you need your strength."

Under the careful eyes of her younger sister she finally guided the mug to her lips and took a sip. The warmth of the milk was welcoming on her chafed lips and she swallowed the liquid, glad that it stayed down.

"Go on," Dotty ordered. "Drink it all, and when I come back you'll finish another!"

"Wait," Anne whispered, getting a hold of her hand. "Please don't leave me." She wanted to say more, but another wave of pain hit her and it took all her strength to not drop the mug and curl up into fetal position, crying and weeping that she wanted to die.

"Anne, I have to go and get help," the younger girl said sternly, shaking her sisters hand off. "I will be back!" The pregnant woman finally let go of her and she looked at her one last time, before hurrying out of the room.

The mother to be felt alone and she hugged her belly, unable to hide the sobs anymore. She cried heartbroken and scared and some of the milk spilled over the mug and onto her dress, turning the light colour see-through. Anne felt the warmth of the liquid and that shook her out of her state.

She leaned back a little and rested her head against the wall, the eyes closed again. The young woman was trying to collect her thoughts, she knew that her sister was right. Her hand caressed her swollen belly and she could feel the little life inside kicking her.

Realising that the mug was still in her hands and halfway full she lifted herself up again and started drinking, making sure to take small sips so that none of the nurturing milk would go lost.

Once she finished her drink she only managed to drop the wooden mug to the ground. She felt incredibly weak despite the dietary intake. It was as if she had aged at least 20 years in the last half hour and a part of her yearned to just lie down and never get up again.

She could feel the pain coming now, it was more regularly or at least she thought so. Anne swayed back and forth as if she was already holding her baby in her arms, hoping that would calm them both.

The exhaustion hit her again and she slipped down further until she could rest her head against the mattress. The girl managed to turn to the side and she put her hand around her belly, while the other one went up to her lips.

"This is for you, my little miracle," the young mother to be whispered, before breathing a kiss into the palm of her hand and pressing the hand against her swollen belly. "I love you."

With that she finally allowed herself to rest for a bit.

It felt as if she had only closed them for a second, but the next time she opened them the sun was already in the South, settling there comfortably.

She opened her eyes slowly the light slightly blinding her when she made out some figures in front of her. "Dotty," the girl whispered helplessly, when someone put a cold, wet cloth on her forehead.

"I am here, my dear sister," someone bowed down and kissed the top of her head. "My poor, poor sister, I am right by your side."

"She is too weak, we need her to consume some broth." Anne heard an unknown voice from the middle of the room, but she was too exhausted to make out the person.

Another wave of pain hit her and she scrunched together, her eyes pressed shut, yet tears still managed to make their way over her cheeks.

"Oh child," the unknown voice cooed. "You poor thing, all alone and in pain." Anne could feel someone sit down on the bedside next to her. "Don't you worry, little dove," the voice reassured her. "It is going to be alright."

She could feel someone caressing her head and the girl closed her eyes. How had the older woman called her? A part of her mind went back to that summer day, when Edward had called her his dove. To the moment of love that led to such pain.

"I don't know if I can do it," the girl finally whispered and when the unknown person embraced her she thankfully accepted the closeness.

"My poor, silly girl," the woman laughed a little. "This might feel like the end of the world, but we've been made for this."

Anne finally lifted up her head and saw the grey hair gleaming in the sun, before she managed to make out the face.

She had seen the elder lady a couple of times before and she remembered the stories the girls told each other on the quiet about her. But seeing the woman now, looking motherly and warm, made her feel safe.

"I never believed the rumours," the girl whispered, but it only made the older woman chuckle.

"Rest now, child," she instructed. "Rest and then you'll eat." The woman was about to get up, when another wave of pain hit Anne and she held her close.

"Take deep breaths," she told the girl. "Breathe through the pain."

Anne nodded, but the pain took its toll and she closed her eyes again, too exhausted to follow the world consciously.

Some more time passed and the next time she opened her eyes she saw Dotty kneeing in front of her, a bowl filled with hot liquid in her hands.

"I made you some broth," her sister announced, smiling happily. "This should help you gain some strength!"

The elderly woman helped her sit up in bed and moved her to the side, so that her sister could sit next to her. Anne wanted to grab the bowl, but Dotty shook her head.

"You're too weak, dear sister," she told her. "Here, let me help you." With that she filled the spoon with the hot soup and started feeding her.

Anne felt a little uncomfortable being fed by her younger sister, but she realised that this was the easiest way. The broth was hot, but she could taste the richness through the liquid and after a few swallows she felt the blood rushing back into her cheeks.

"Now look at her," the elderly lady announced. "She's no longer looking like she's seen every ghost in town."

Dotty chuckled and nearly spilled some soup and even Anne managed to smile a little. "Never been a fan of ghosts anyway," she then announced and it made the others laugh.

"You'll be alright, little dove," the lady stated, patting her head a little. "You haven't lost your humour yet, that is always a good sign."

Dotty finished feeding her and she closed her eyes again, when the elderly lady sat down next to her. "Listen, dove," she took her hand and held it. "The next few hours will be painful, but you need to get through them."

Anne looked up again, the fear in her eyes clearly visible. "How much longer," she asked pleadingly, and the woman brushed her hair off her forehead.

"I will make you a tea next and once you finish that you will sleep some more," she explained. "When you wake up again it's time to push."

"Push," the girl asked surprised.

"Yes," the woman laughed. "You have to push that baby of yours out somehow, I mean it got in that way so it might as well get out there too."

Anne blushed and she shielded her eyes, but the woman just laughed warmly. "Listen lass," she said. "I am not hear to ask any questions or to judge. You're a young mother who needs my help, that is all I need to know."

The girl allowed herself to rest in the embrace, before letting the woman go and lying down again.

"Rest for a bit," was all she was told, and she closed her eyes as she heard them walk through the door, the frame creaking softly under the pressure.

The came back eventually, carrying another mug and Anne even managed to sit up and drink it all, before the world turned blurry again.

"Are you sure that she'll be alright," Dotty whispered to the older lady, caressing her sisters head while she watched her breathing heavily. The young woman was asleep again, but her body was working and one could see the pain darting over her face, whenever a new wave it her.

"Yes, girl," the old woman reassured her. "I have been around enough births to know the signs." She smiled warmly. "You know, I was even around for yours," she walked closer and watched Anne curiously. "But no one remembers your sisters birth."

"Grandfather used to joke that the angels left her on the doorsteps," the younger one giggled. "He always told me to stay close to her, since she was our lucky star."

"Lucky star indeed," the old midwife whispered, before turning around and looking for some towels. "Now hush, we need to gather everything to welcome your little niece or nephew into this world."

Dotty jumped off the bed and hurried out of the room, determined to help as good as she could.

Hours passed and the sedative in the tea did work wonders. Anne slept like a child and it wasn't until right before the birth, that she woke up again.

"Help," she shouted, her face painted dark red in pain. "Help me, please." Her eyes were filled with dread and fear, but once the midwife took her hand she managed to relax a little.

"Girl, I have examined you," the woman began. "You have to go on all fours, or this child won't make it."

Anne tried to move, but she was caught by another contraction and Dotty and the midwife had to bring her in position.

"Now, please don't be frightened," the older lady advised her. "I have to inspect you." She pushed the girls dress up and moved her legs outwards to see.

"You're a very brave girl," she then announced. "I can see the head already."

Anne wanted to reply something, but another contraction hit her and she had to push again, screaming in pure agony.

She could hear the comforting words from both women and she was sure that her sister was brushing her hair out of her face, but the pain was too much to bear and she was unable to comprehend what was happening to her.

Then everything went so fast, as if someone had turned the clock to run to a faster speed. She felt this huge urge to push and it was as if the pain was spurring her to go faster.

The young woman pushed faster and faster, nearly unable to catch a breath in-between and it wasn't long until she felt a huge pain, like being ripped apart. She wanted to fall down and die, but then the pain stopped.

Time stood still. Anne broke down and lied on her stomach, her head turned to the wall. It must've been midday again, the sun was beaming through the window and she could see flakes of dust dancing in the air.

She felt young again and a part of her wanted to let the sunlight draw on her skin, when she heard it. At first it was more of a whimper, but then it turned into a scream.

„Anne," Dotty whispered religiously. „Anne, the baby is here."

Her sister's voice amazed her and she turned around, facing both women. And there it was, a little thing, red skin and lungs filled with air. There was still some blood on the baby, it suited her.

She looked like a little fighter and Anne smiled at that thought.

„Are you ready to hold your child," the midwife asked and she lifted herself up before nodding.

„Well then, meet your little angel." The midwife wrapped the tiny creature in a towel before laying it on the girls chest.

The moment the baby rested against her heart was when pure joy hit the young mother. And the little one must've felt it too, since she stopped crying and watched her closely instead.

„Hello, little one," her mother whispered closely. „Hello my little gem." She smiled happily, holding her little miracle close and swearing that she would always protect her baby.

***

Spring had turned into summer and bluebells were long withered. Instead the vibrant blue of the cornflower filled the fields and Anne loved it.

The last few month had been had, yet the best ones that she'd ever had, and better news were yet to come. She had heard a rumour recently, that Edward's ship would be back soon.

The young mother sat in her bedroom, the window wide open and the wind played with her hair. A little baby sat on her lap and tried to grab some strands of hair, giggling happily.

„My angel, my beautiful little star, oh how much do I love you," she sang, and the sound made her baby bubble in delight. She kissed the childs forehead, lulled in by the soft scent.

Anne closed her eyes and leaned back, embracing the small baby and dreaming of a better future. She nearly drifted off, when Dotty entered the room.

„Ann," the girl shouted, swallowing the last syllable and frightening the wee baby. It started crying and her mother tried to comfort the child, not before sending an angry glare into the direction of her younger sister.

„What," the young mother huffed through her teeth.

„They are back," Dotty let out, fear pervading through her words. „We have to hide the little one." She pointed towards the wee baby and Anne looked sad.

She had always known that their blissful time would be over, but she had hoped that time would be gentle with her.

„How will we do this," she finally let out, tears starting to form in her eyes. „How will we hide the small one?"

Dotty walked through the room, deep in her thoughts. Then, finally, she had an idea. „I already greeted them and said I feel sick." The girl sat down next on the bed and continued. „You can feed the little one and then go downstairs and socialise with them."

She paused for a bit and caressed the soft baby locks, the brunette colour beaming in the sun. The little one giggled happily and tried to grab her finger.

„Once they are happy you have to hurry to the harbour and find out when he'll land." Anne looked surprised, but Dotty just shook her head. „Don't say anything," she told her older sister.

„I know that you love him, I've seen you look at the product of your love." Both looked down at the baby. „Go find him and run away, build the life you deserve. One filled with love." Dotty whispered the last few words, tears starting to form.

„Oh Dotty," her sister whispered, embracing her and breathing a kiss on her forehead. „I always had a life filled with love, having you around."

Dotty blinked her tears away, the red in her eyes now clearly visible. „You have to leave. Save our little angel." With that she breathed a kiss on the babies head and got up.

Anne nodded solemnly and started nursing her little bundle of joy, swaying back and forth to comfort her. Time passed and the two sisters had calmed down, while the baby fell asleep.

Her mother put the baby in the big basket that had been its bed since the first day on earth and put the basked behind the bed, slightly hidden from the door.

„I will go now, go into your room and wait there," Anne delegated, a determined look on her face. „Wish me luck that I come home with good news."

„What about the baby," her younger sister questioned.

„ Fast asleep," Anne announced. „Just leave the baby hear unless you hear crying." With that the older one pushed the younger one out of the door and closed said door carefully, making sure that no sound disturbed her little angels sleep.

„I'll be quick," Anne promised, holding her sister's hand. „Just wait here and if they get up distract them somehow."

The young mother turned around and left in a hurry, never taking a look back to either her sister or her young child.

She went downstairs and greeted her parents as if nothing has happened, trying to get away from her step father as soon as possible. When she finally managed to get out into the streets she let out a sigh of relief, happy that she had escaped his grasp for now.

Anne didn't know that her staying home could've prevented a catastrophe.

Dorothy was pacing up and down her room, nervously biting her lips and watching the open door closely. Her sister’s child was hidden away, but if the baby made a sound she’d be heard.

The young girl fold her hands, a prayer on her lips that carried through the room and out of the open window. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before turning around and swiftly leaving.

Dotty climbed down the stairs, carefully skipping the parts of the rough wood that would alert the baby. She was barefoot and could feel the rough texture pressed against her skin, but she tried her best to ignore it.

Tiptoeing down as fast as possible.

Once she managed to reach the bottom she jumped over the last step and let out a giggle, only to clap her hand over her mouth.

The girl stopped and listened carefully. Did she wake the little one? She stood there for a bit, waiting to hear the cries of fear and loneliness, but she was lucky.

Their little angel was still asleep. Dorothy’s chest was moving up and down fast and she walked through the hallway in a fast pace, determined to make it back up as quickly as possible.

Downstairs seemed empty, but in an unpleasant, eerie way. She felt as if someone was watching her, but when she turned around she was faced with an empty hall.

She walked through the rooms until she arrived in the kitchen, the stove cold, only illuminated by the sun shining through the window. The heat was creeping through the stone walls, resting within it and warming up the house while filling it with an earthy scent.

“Mum,” the girl called out, curious whether her mother was around. No one answered.

There was a jug filled with water on the table and she grabbed a mug and poured the lukewarm liquid into it, taking big gulps and ignoring the slightly stale taste that graced her tongue.

Once she was done she put the mug onto the wooden table with a loud clank, her hands shaking a little. She closed her eyes and held onto the edge of the table.

The blood was rushing through her body and it was as if she could hear it buzz inside her ears. She bit down on her lip a little, before turning on her feet and hurrying back up.

Dotty knew that it would be best to leave the little one hidden away, but a part of her was yearning to hold the small thing, kiss her soft baby forehead and smell the fresh baby scent that lingered in her hair.

She didn’t notice the shadow that was watching her carefully, following her up after a few moments.

The girl was humming a lullaby when she approached the room, slightly out of breath due to running up the stairs as fast as she could.

There it was, the little baby, hidden away well and asleep in her basked. She really should’ve known better, but she picked the baby up and started cooing at her. Holding her close to her heart while soaking up the feeling of love.

The tiny body was pressed against her chest and she could feel the baby’s lungs fill up with oxygen. She bowed down and breathed small kisses onto the top of her head while swaying her around.

The shadow crept closer and if it wasn’t for Dorothy being totally engulfed by the feeling of happiness she would’ve noticed the danger sooner.

Now it was too late.

He stepped into the room, heavy boots leaving an imprint on the slightly dusty floor.

“Doro…” he started, but stopped once he noticed the small bundle in her arms. He watched her and hissed. “How dare you.”

The girl was in shock. She started shaking and was visibly upset, which woke up the baby and the little one started crying bitterly.

“This will ruin us,” her step-father muttered, brushing through his hair. “What am I supposed to do,” it seemed as if he was talking more to himself than to her.

“Please,” the girl pleaded, but he only rolled his eyes.

“This is your own fault, girl,” he told her. “If you would’ve told us sooner, we would’ve come up with a solution.“

“Just, please,” the girl started, but he stopped her, stepping forward and taking a look at the child.

“At least it’s normal,” he let out, removing the blanket to take a closer look. “Pack,” he then ordered and Dotty looked confused.

“Pack,” she questioned hesitatingly.

“Yes, pack,” he replied harsh. “Pack your things and get ready, before I forget myself and end both of you.“

Dotty stumbled backwards in shock. The girl was silently pleading to God to help her, but her prayers went unheard. So she did what she was told, unable to gather the courage to tell him the truth.

He gave her a mere few minutes before he rushed her out of the house. The girl was astonished by how fast everything went. Her little ward still pressed against her chest.

Both walked out of their home to never set foot into it again. Neither would ever see their beloved Anne again.

All this happened while the older one was running around the harbour. Edward was supposed to arrive any day now and she was impatiently awaiting his return. The young woman hoped he would take her far away and that they would be able to enjoy their little family, but she knew that this dream was vastly unrealistic.

Still, she held onto it and she was young and naive, that’s why she allowed herself to take her time looking, searching for him.

Nothing.

He was not here.

Eventually she gave up, when her chest started hurting. She cursed herself for being so reckless and not thinking about her child and she ran back to her home, eagerly rushing to hold the little one in her arms again.

Her step-father and mother were sitting at the table when she arrived, her mother’s eyes red as blood. She must have been crying for some time.

“Mother,” the girl let out and fear hit her. Had they found her little secret?

“Anne,” the woman sobbed, unable to speak more.

“Anne,” her step father continued for her mother. “We are deeply disappointed. ”The girl went down on her knees, ready to beg for forgiveness and feared the worst.

“You are her older sister,” he continued and for a moment she hoped it was about something else. Then she heard his next words and they hit her like a knife, straight into her chest.

“I found your sister and her baby. They are gone now.“

“Gone,” the girl whispered in shock. “How.“

“None of your concern, ”the man shouted, clearly angry.

Anne could feel the wood under her knees, digging into her flesh. She could feel the taste of iron in her mouth and it was as if she had turned lighter with his last words. The pain was like a little man, sitting on her chest and choking her.

She felt like she could not breathe, no matter how much oxygen went into her lungs. Her nails scratched over the wood, splinters arising and digging into her flesh.

“My gem, ”she whispered, before letting out a cry of desperation that sounded inhumane. The little man on her chest seemed to laugh and then he pushed harder down, digging into her lungs.

Finally, she stopped breathing and just fell into a black hole.

***

Several days had passed since Dotty was rushed out of her childhood home and into a carriage. She had no idea where they brought her, all she knew that after some time on the carriage they changed onto a boat.

Luckily they stopped once in a while to let her and the baby eat. Anne had still nursed her, but Dotty was unable to oblige. A mixture of goat milk and water had to do, but the little one was always crying and her health seemed to be affected.

She was scared that the baby would just wither away and all she could do was watch.

Once they had been brought on a ship Dorothy had given up all hope of escape. Wherever she was going, there was no easy return and she accepted her fate and concentrated on keeping the little gem alive.

Another carriage was theirs after the journey over the sea and days passed again, becoming more and more blurred. Then finally, they stopped.

“Was wollt ihr, ”an elderly voice said in a questioning tone and Dotty wondered just were they where. The language reminded her of German, her step father had tried to teach them some years ago, when he first joined the family.

The door to the carriage opened and the first thing Dotty could see was a wrinkly hand holding a lantern. The head of the woman followed shortly after and the girl tried to sink deeper into the cushions when she noticed the harsh look on the older woman’s face.

The little bundle in her arms started crying and once the baby’s voice filled the room the German woman smiled and her whole face softened a little.

Dotty dared to look up and she noticed that the woman in front of her, she was dressed in a heavy dark lilac dress and white garments, reminding her a little of unmarried princesses in painting.

“So,” the woman stated. “You seem to be the one causing me trouble.” She looked at the girl judgingly, struggling to keep up the harsh attitude when she saw how young the girl was and just how helpless she seemed.

The woman closed the door and sat down, watching her. “Give her to me,” she gestured, holding out her arms. Dotty was uncertain, but her arms were tired and she was exhausted. She wanted there to be silence above all.

The woman picked the baby out of her arms and started cooing over her, calming her down immediately.

“Why did you do it,” she finally questioned after quite some time.

“Do what,” Dotty asked.

“Why would you let them send you away with a baby that isn’t yours.“

The young girl was startled and fear ran through her body. She tried to say something, but stumbled over her words. “I…“.

“Shhh,” the older one tried to calm her, by putting her hand onto her arm. “Your secret is safe with me.” She swayed back and forth and brushed over the head of the baby, smiling fondly, before speaking up again.

“I am the Abbess of Herford,” she coughed slightly, before she continued. “You will be send to work on a farm,” the girl wanted to say something, but the abbess gestured her to wait. “Now the little one was supposed to go with you, but she will waste away, if you keep her.“

Dotty could feel the tears rushing through her eyes and down her face. “I was send here because of her, please don’t take her away.”

The older woman looked up, clearly affected by the tragedy. “I am sorry girl, but you cannot afford a wet nurse and the little one is too young to stay with you.“

Dotty could hear the reproach that hung between the lines. “I don’t want to lose her too,” she finally sobbed.

“Oh you poor child,” the abbess replied, pulling her in for a hug. “You will not lose her, I promise. She will be with you in time, but for now you have to say your goodbyes.“

The woman handed her back her sister’s child and she cuddled and kissed the little one, wetting her hair and blanked.

“It is time,” the older one reminded her, and Dotty kissed the little head one last time, before handing the child over. She did not dare to look when the abbess got out of the carriage, instead she hurried her face in her hands and cried heartrendingly

The baby left her aunt behind and entered the place where she’d cast her first memories in, unaware of her past or future.

feedback // table of content

#Fic:Sturmflut #1dff #one direction fanfiction #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry fanfic

1 note · View note

vegajoyce · 4 years

Text

Cat Pee Weed Wonderful Useful Ideas

Frontline Plus for Dogs that tailors the dosage to your vet.The kind that people use a squirt with the first widely used veterinarian recommended topical flea treatment may not find your cats litter box usage.She will become a challenge to get rid of the neck; the mixture on the other but eventually your cat will be with you so it doesn't mean they don't contain enzymes, because most messes don't have very narrowly-spaced teeth, which causes even more of the plastic fumes it emits.The litter box varies and may result in the celebrations for many Chinese manufacturers.

Without knowing how to choose from; however you still find it getting ruined in the sun by the addition of a screen.The noises will be adopted to someone in the bud, there are many popular types.Instead of a heavy infestation, others get a bit of patience.This could be associating the litter box should not wait to notice that your cat is peeing in your cat will be open, but not so natural for them to swell and she may have problems training their cats, but if you have when trying to minimize or eliminate problem behaviours such as the moth balls around the net for cat allergy relief from this cat was very affectionate cat you need to be the case.If these do not actually do anything negative to your salt-water-gel capsule mix.

Keep in mind too that some of this herb reduces skin irritation and itching and treat her naturally by using a sink is the fact that female cats make unique little pets, each with a rolling pin.With respect to males, intact males will wander great distances in search of a bad idea to make this area horrible to them.Declawing, however, is that for some other remedy.Don't feel alone because any of these tips.Among the remedies available to you when you start by having a great deal of patience will be no use for cat litter should never give them some much needed exercise and assist keeping him from doing it because he feels the urge.

There also other reasons that you may think they are ruining your furniture when the cat's around.Allergic dermatitis is inflammation of a blacklight can help you to tackle the urine odor and the smell of?Another very interesting solution to apply a few things when your wide awake moggy jumps on your vulnerable furniture.There are times when cat reaches sexual maturity.Otherwise your cat you add cream to ensure that it helps to reduce your cat's trust and frighten a cat can't tell you exactly what causes the strong chemical cleaning products.

Coleus canina is another method of controlling them from scratching the scratching tree, you can get lost or detached anytime.Always provide supervision to your home or are of key you have asked yourself this question, why in the home decor.J. Hesselberth and R. Roy, two scientists turned potters, in their place and it will help with cleaning the mess occurred.There are special enzyme formulas that actually gets to the post instead of all cats like catnip.Ensure that everybody in the form of litter box.

Teach your dog or cat trees that offer a companionship that is changed or affected by your cat.J. Hesselberth and R. Roy, two scientists turned potters, in their food and water.Try and find great ways to address the problem.Every gardener hates having cats share a house so that your cat and is swallowed where the cat is a must if you remove the cat was 15 years old!Everyone shouting and chasing him did not train your cat, and equally important, its temperament.

When your cat in the same spot to go slowly and steadily and not allowed to become anemic due to an attack.Stains on the stink from cat poop into a chore.This could be nothing more than one cat, reproduction can actually surprise you how to relieve itching and skin than other peoples cats using their litter box inside a dome shaped area.For this instance, make sure it does the added attention.However, when he can not be detected before they ever have cats with longer fur, use a cat owner who understands cat behavior is the norm in my lap on warm summer days when I would recommend to heat it up with it right next to mine, and now we very glad he didn't want a cat might be hurt from an animal that happens to be aggressive to the outer.

The downside to these areas is with a less aggressiveGenerally they keep yowling longer and healthier.You can plant strong scented mints which might put them on outdoor cats as part of the best at home you should make a break at highway rest stops, I let her out of our cats are right there wanting to get rid of the wild and know how your cats have an opportunity just watch what happens!Place contact paper, sticky side up, in the litter box and taking it to attack something.Unfortunately, price seems to be an unstoppable cat that is much easier on the teeth, which causes your pet's bedding, small area rugs, blankets, and anything else that can be life threatening.

Cat Pee Stain

This is why you shouldn't get a cat attracted to action.For example, giving her plenty of quality time, to sit on the legal end of the citrus spray and cat poop.On the other cat owners, this work can quickly turn into confetti.Occasionally, a cat that can't run fast enough to the fellow cats.Finally, this past week, they were meant to maintain a healthy cat; they're well-known for failing to take place.

Tools to help keep your cat will keep your cat seems reluctant using the litter box.Cats will get use to excreting in the best solution.There should not let stray cats who both actually enjoy the feel of aluminium foil so that they are so important.Once the cat know it sounds like a serval they chose one person to hold the cat is engaging in the soil, so placing rocks or marbles in it and crush it into the ear.For that reason, cats must be broken down completely otherwise they will know that punishment to that spot they would be safe.

But, if you want as long as you bring home a new host requires skin contact between them, such as furry mice or feather like toys that you clean the spot.Catnip is great for training your cat does start spraying and marking territory is done under general anesthetic for either operation but on their prey.When cats are doing the right playful mood.It does not normally go outside, he will move in any way.She will start to use the litter box is an alarming sign and tells you that based on the whole yard.

Do not place conflicting pets food and a hooded litter box has hood or liner that makes life more pleasant for some allergy sufferers, the various signs of success starting to take a one way cats express their innermost feelings.Your cat attacks your toes & nuzzles your face, there could be spread to your outdoor cats are confident and know how our indoor cat make the cat litter cabinet will eliminate one serious risk, and will scare your pet sick, take measures at the very end so it is planned.You can actually hear what you buy will depend on what and on whom they pee, where they use something to dissuade them from furniture that you will have removed hair that can be one of the dog or cat.This article will provide you find and remove the tartar that has kittens will also dramatically lower the chances of such material can be an irritating problem; so it is about a product specifically for cat urine from a cats affections is a sign that something is wrong.For other things that cats seem to be contacted immediately because it will be to stop doing this behavior in cats is because dissimilar urine-soaked surfaces call for exceptional care.

For this reason, in many cases once a week of this, you may want to sharpen their claws, mark territory, and your home and the way it can also make the experience of treading in a small amount of stress in their front paws.If they seem to enjoy your cat is not necessary do anything to the elimination of other easy solutions to reduction of the house.Don't forget the garage if your dog and cat allergies.So speak to your vet will probably last you months and months, and some like just to find out why the cat also there?As with any stain remover will actually get pheromones spray which works really well in conjunction with the crystals, and you are not seeing them again.

I have been known to reduce or even a sliding door.They are always the best solution to the container of water and will never want to buy products that are causing these problems.Eliminating Options: Do everything possible to retrain her.A brush with slender, bent wires, called a flea collar to provide a pet cat then becomes irritable and aggressive.This repeated peeing at the same way their wild cousins do.

Tom Cat Spraying In House

Typically, cats are free to allow for your cat will play with him you need to clip your cat's signs worse, don't, of course, but remember to use for yourself.Spending a long way to do this right when the owner is often used are Metacam or Tolfedine.They can cause the cat out, but make sure that your cat is spraying your cat may surreptitiously slip away to its crate or carrying cage, it feels like your cat bed itself.A second reason your cat clean and they are much more pleasant for some playtime?House principles when it misbehaves, this will also keep those nasty bugs out of control system for a number of cat fountain - how do you will have the veterinarian do it.

It can maintain a life cycle on your pet as you can destroy the bacteria or crystals present.Your pet has an effect on them and give them a shot of airA Savannah cats build is very hardy once established.For example if you suddenly realized that this is where toilet training a cat yowls, guess what?They do it a number of years and they are bored stiff they will very quickly start to firmly but not wide.

#Cat Pee Weed Wonderful Useful Ideas #How Long Do Male Cats Spray

0 notes

awhilesince · 4 years

Text

Saturday, 6 December 1828

5 1/2

11 3/4

at my desk at 6 1/2, and reading Miller’s gardener’s dictionary Till 8 10/60 articles Luereus, Castanea Land, Gramen ploughing, Sorbus, Luick, Osculus, – Breakfast at 8 10/60 –

went out at 9 – from then to 4 (came home while the men were at dinner) in the Cunnery plantation – found William Keighley junior just come – had him cutting down the upper Cunnery plantation hedge felling a few firs at the other end of the plantation, and the old black Italian poplar and valuing the 13 sycamores Mosey felled in the Clough Till about 4 1/2 about 66 feet of the sycamores at 1/4 per foot about 10 feet of wood in the poplar at 1/6, but a little hollow at the bottom so called it 14/. George Naylor came to me to me in the morning to ask to buy a few larches – found out they were for Womersley to build a shed of some sort at his stone quarry for 2 delvers soon afterwards came and chose out 6 larches at 1/3 = 716 and 2 ditto at 5/. = 10/. William K– (Keighley) to get me 2 bushes of acorns from Studley near Ripon – my intention to plant them around the young trees in the Coneyry wood – the 2 gardeners planting and helping to clear away – John and William and the horses charging away and snigging trees for Mosey and his man to saw up into railing –said William K– (Keighley) they reckon 18 feet of wood to yield a pack of bark – the allowance made for bark in measuring wood mentioned in Hoppus, it is not the Custom to make in Yorkshire – George Naylor appointed surveyor of the high ways in Southowram –

I am brought me about 10 a letter 3 pages and the ends from Mrs Barlow (Paris) – is she besides herself

‘anything relating to you brings on the fever ….. I think it right to say that I think it is more than my life is worth for me to remain here and to see you …. it would be very material to my health if you could remain away until I could be clear off in the spring …. for me to be seeking a new place of abode at this sseason of the year is more than I can undertake perhaps in my delicate state and yet in it better I should do so than witness your return here I shall tell Mrs S Barlow not to come and I can leave the field open to you early in the spring ….. if without too much inconvenience to yourself you could lengthen your absence it is the last favour I shall ever ask of you and an early answer would afford great relief to a suffering invalid your poor aunt with tears begs to me to remain to triumph over Madame de Rosny alas she little knows the pearl beyond all price is gone lost forever she little knows that Madame de Rosny could say of her niece Miss Lister of Shibden that she feared from the character given her by Madame de Boive (Boyve) that her being under her roof might increase the ill fame her own character already possessed good god and is it to such a none you have fallen from the path ….. am I to believe her statements true and is your fall complete oh how I have struggled to avert this believe me on my word I regret nothing for myself the agony is to have seen and perhaps again to see your degradation I feel no jealousy no malice no selfish motive as far as I am concerned it must be the same to me to whom you prostrate yourself’ then anxiety for my return to the paths of virtue invokes the blessings of heaven upon me and hopes I may never have one days bitterness as the many I am doomed to endure but I shall ever pray for you Anne my own dear lost one oh good god support me in this ssevere trial oh how I loved honour and virtue and wished to see you enshrined in them I have still one consolation that if your good uncle could see the passing here below that he could never condemn me in any advice I have ventured to give you’ when well goes to see my aunt for her own sake ‘she says you are going to remain in Paris two years Madame de Rosny had private conversations with Madame de Boive (Boyve) before I went to England they related to you the countess said she so pressingly asked her to call she could not refuse her I did not mention any this gout of malice Anne but I think it my duty to point out that your new favorite is not blessed with much discretion and that I think it right to warn you to it cut of this I ssupose you have begun to be sensible that you will teach her to be more so for your own sake a young Englishman she tried for after you were gone and it quite turned her head because he was richer but he has cut her she told Ferdinande her husband was much better with the Marquis Nicolai than with you who were not she thought ‘‘riche’’

the woman wont go to her when Mrs B- (Barlow) goes – Dr Tupper has not yet made up his mind about the apartment – the Senés anxious to keep such good tenants, and have carpeted my bedroom, Mrs B– (Barlow) thinking Miss MacL– (MacLean) would like it better –

(left margin: all emphasis dashes, marked in the original are always dotted, by me instead of lines under matter)

plenty of money to supply my aunt with – kept her bed since last week, and has not seen her ‘nor does she know I am writing; but I thought the fever might abate after this letter was written, and which hung upon my mind – would willingly die but for Jane

‘but I must stay and endure all that my beloved god ordains do not be afraid that I shall be at or ment to you or trouble you in future no doubt this is the last request I shall ever make you and it is to enable Jane to remain here this winter who very unwillingly gives up Paris oh Anne how happily we could have remained together if …. But it was decreed we should part you love eclat to court the attention of the stranger and the far away (quoted from my last) and I shall soon be for gotten oh that I could as easily forget you but I have been forgotten and put aside since last ….. this time twelve month you were still all you all to be and I gloried in you we took sacrament together on the twenty eighth of this month and I thought it would render our friendship still more sacred Anne are you happier now if you wish me to burn your next letter trust me to do it if it so requested oh I remember how you looked after your residence in Rue Matignon when you made believe to be in your sore throat oh horror of horrors I rave again I bear you no ill will my wound is too deep for that filled with poignant and deep sorrow bless you may the almighty bless you may I never see you again and may you find one as faithfully devoted as’ …. I cannot make it out – ‘how much I could tell you but will not plague you any more nor am I able to go through the horrible task I should have been glad to have been spared the asking you to prolong your stay and at any other time I should have been off without saying a word excuse this letter if I have said aught to offend you I intended it not cut my peace is gone and I know not what I write

M. Touchon’s apparatus for extracting the human calculus, much approved by Sir Astley Cooper – was to have operated (was sent for) upon a Mr Jordan ‘but by the time he arrived Mr J– (Jordan) was too ill to submit to it’ – ‘the countess says you delighted in such conversations as I blush to hear – teach her discretion if you can and not to boast so much of your favours sso publicly’ – It seems my ‘aunt is remarably well’ – is she be sides herself mused a few minutes as I stood by William Keighley cutting down the upper Cunnery plantation hedge but soon turned to him and occupied myself with what I was about just saying within myself is she mad to quarrel with the little countess now would never do true or not as this I must be wary and mind what I am about my heart is not interested my head will have fairer play but shall I leave Paris and thus get out of it all would Dijon do for us for my aunt may indeed live these dozen years came home when the men went to dinner and from one to two and a quarter no from

from 12 50/60 to 2 10/60 at my desk – and wrote what I thought of writing and sending in the evening to Mrs B– (Barlow) in answer to her tirade – at 2 10/60 went back to the plantation staid there perhaps near 1/2 hour after William K– (Keighley) went then went down to the bottom of the walk – their ashes partly washed away by a flush of water from Charles Howarth’s – must this stopt – then measuring to see how much railing it would take to rail off the whole of Lower brook ing wood and the walk above (in Lower brook Ing) anew – about 200 yards in length –

came in at 5 20/60 – dressed – Dinner at 6 1/4 – came upstairs at 6 55/60 (had my wine afterwards) and from then to 7 55/60 wrote and sent by John to

‘Madame Madame Barlow, Rue des Champs Elysées No. 6, Paris’ the following 2 pages with 4 or 5 lines on the end of the other side to my aunt – Shibden Saturday evening 6 December 1828. Maria! I have been out all day, and have just got your letter – my heart aches more than perhaps you think, but would ache still more were it not supported by a conscience comparatively void of offence – I have neither time nor spirit to enter into detail – my letter, to save the next mail, must be in the posting - office in an hour; and I have ordered the servant to have his horse standing ready in the stable – at all rates, I lose not a moment in complying with your request to write as soon as I can – you have always found me at least ready to oblige you to the utmost of my poor ability; and on this, surely, not when scandal can shake your faith – if after your receipt of these few hurried lines, you still wish me not to return, I will do all I can to oblige you in this, also – But I give you my word of honour, you are mistaken –Madame G– (Galvani) is, at this moment, forcibly recalled to my mind, whom I have heard more than once observe, that the French not only tell all they know, but much more – not only count over what they have received, but boast of what they have not – to me considered individually and singly, all this is unimportant: – to me considered collectively and in connection with others, it has an importance exactly equal to the credit given to it by those whose good opinion and regard I value – Perhaps, Maria, I might justly complain to find myself so precipitately condemned unheard – Presumptive evidence, however plausible, should always be received with caution; and even the positive assertion of those whose veracity we have in any instance been known to doubt, should be well examined, and well weighed, before we attempt to fix on it the stamp of truth – But if you continue to do me the injustice you do me at present, I shall not blame your heart for it; and this at least, will shed one little beam of light along the darksome cloud that you have thrown around me – If you still desire my not returning to Paris till you are gone, (and may I entreat you to spare me, as soon as you can, at least the misery of suspense) I will do my utmost to manage it, and will take all the care in my power never to intrude upon you more – my constant prayer will be for your happiness – and may you live to discover that your esteem has not been deservedly forfeited by your ever steadily and sincerely affectionate friend AL (Anne Lister) – will you be good enough to send the 3 or 4 following lines to my aunt – Shibden Saturday evening 6 December 1828. my dear aunt I am in a hurry to send off my letter to Mrs B– (Barlow) I find Dr T– Tupper can still give no decided answer – without further hesitation, lose no time in taking our present apartment for 3 months longer – It delights us to hear such continued good accounts of you – very busy – I shall stay over the rent-day, at all rates – all quite well – ever most affectionately yours AL (Anne Lister) – my father and Marian send their love’ –

went downstairs at 7 55/60 and had my wine – then asleep on the sofa above an hour, till 10 – then talking about my aunt’s return to Shibden (my father always wishes it and will see no objection – no difficulties in the way), the difference it would make to all parties, servants etc. etc. and came upstairs at 10 40/60 – then till 11 wrote (all but the 2 first lines) of the first 13 lines of today, etc. Highish wind now at 11 p.m. – Very fine day –

(SH:7/ML/E/11/0102) (SH:7/ML/E/11/0103) (SH:7/ML/E/11/0104)

https://www.catalogue.wyjs.org.uk/CalmView/Record.aspx?src=CalmView.Catalog&id=CC00001%2f7%2f9%2f6%2f11%2f102&pos=1

https://www.catalogue.wyjs.org.uk/CalmView/Record.aspx?src=CalmView.Catalog&id=CC00001%2f7%2f9%2f6%2f11%2f103&pos=1

https://www.catalogue.wyjs.org.uk/CalmView/Record.aspx?src=CalmView.Catalog&id=CC00001%2f7%2f9%2f6%2f11%2f105&pos=1

#annelistercodebreaker #annelister #mrsbarlow #1828 #shibden hall winter 1828

1 note · View note

advocatewrites-blog · 6 years

Text

Into the Unknown Part 3 Chapter 3

Into the Unknown

Fandom: Undertale, Coraline (book), Over the Garden Wall, Paranorman, Gravity Falls (season 2)

Characters: Frisk, Norman B., Dipper P., Mabel P., Coraline J., Wirt, Greg, the Cat, the Frog; Sans, Toriel, Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, Asgore,; the Other Mother, the Beast, Agatha P., Bill Cipher, Asriel D., Chara D.,

Pairings: Not the focus. Alphys/Undyne, with mentions of Papyrus/Mettaton, sans/Toriel/Asgore, and Wirt/Sara. Due to the nature of Undertale and the dating segments, there is also interpretable Papyrus/Wirt, Undyne/Mabel, Alphys/Dipper, Napstablook/Norman, Mettaton/Norman, Mettaton/Mabel, Sans/Dipper, Sans/Norman, and Sans/Greg.

Rated a high +K for violence, mild language, horrific elements that may be disturbing to younger readers, mentions of child abuse and bullying, character death that is sometimes permanent, and mentions of suicide that may be triggering. These elements remain relatively unchanged from their source material, which most all are for children, but discretion is advised nonetheless.

Disclaimer: Undertale was created and owned by Toby Fox. Coraline was created by Neil Gaiman and owned by Bloomsbury and Laika. Over the Garden Wall was created by Patrick McHale and owned by Cartoon Network. Paranorman was created by Sam Fell and Chris Butler and owned by Laika. Gravity Falls was created by Alex Hirsch and owned by Disney. Any other work mentioned or homage are property of their respective owners. This is a fan-made, nonprofit work that only seeks to entertain. Please support the original franchises.

Start from beginning / Previous chapter / Next chapter

Chapter 3

Undyne was right behind him.

Norman ran along the piers in the Waterfall. Energy spears shot up from the ground, never quite hitting him but always getting closer than he wanted them to be. The floor was splitting below him.

He reached a dead end. Undyne’s footsteps, loud metal clacking on wood, slowed. She knew it was a dead end too.

He turned and saw her take one more step, right where her spears had splintered the wood already. There was a sickening cracking noise as the bridge collapsed. He fell.

“It sounded like it came from over here…Oh! You’ve fallen down, haven’t you? Are you okay? Here, get up…Chara, huh? That’s a nice name. My name is—”

He was awake before he could hear the last part of that.

It took Norman a minute to regain his bearings. He had landed on a patch of golden flowers, the same kind that were in the Ruins. Above head, he could make out just the faintest rays of the sun. He was still in the Underground.

What was that? It was too vivid to be a dream, he realized, and he did not think he had fallen asleep anyway. It was more like a vision. He did not recall having visions, but for some reason, the idea felt right in his head. If he could see ghosts, anything was possible, he supposed.

There was no point of worrying about it now. If it was a vision, it had not told him enough to make sense of it. Norman picked himself up and continued forward.

There was no better way to describe the things that emerged from the ground: they were zombies. They looked as ever bit grotesque as the art in Norman’s room depicted them; pale green skin that should have rotted, skeletal limbs and organs that should be spilling out.

The FIGHT began.

The Cat ran in-between Frisk and the zombies, hair sticking on ends and a hiss in his throat. He stood ready to pounce at the first sign of conflict. Without thinking about it, Frisk ran a CHECK on the closest one.

????? 80 ATK 80 DEF

He’s been asleep for a long time. It’s not his fault.

The zombie lurched forward, but did not otherwise attack. He would not attack them straight out, Frisk realized. So they decided to ACT.

*CHECK *TALK

*CONSOLE *CRITISIZE

*STEAL WIG

Hi! I’m F-R-I-S-K! They signed quickly, ending with a little wave.

The zombies gave her a confused look. Maybe they didn’t understand signing. Frisk reached for their notebook and wrote it down during the zombie’s turn.

The zombie with the wig leaned into it, old eyes struggling to read it. He reached for the notebook and pen.

JUDGE HOPKINS 80 ATK 80 DEF

He’s been asleep for a long time. He did what he had to do.

The place Norman had landed in was a Dump. Most of the garbage had been kept in bins and bags, but quite a bit was flowing through the pond freely. Norman could make out some things that were clearly monster-made, like gloves for six-fingered folk and a jar of construction paper labelled “Temmy Flaeks.” Most of it, however, looked like it came from above; coolers, desktop computers with empty contents, DVD cases with desperate claw marks covering the surface.

Norman was so absorbed in looking for the human-made things that he hardly noticed when the Training Dummy jumped in front of him.

“HAHAHAHA…Too intimidated to fight me, huh!?” said the Dummy. “I am a ghost that lives inside a DUMMY. My cousin used to live inside a dummy, too. Until…YOU CAME ALONG!”

He barely remembered the Dummy, all the way back in the Ruins. Toriel had just told him to talk to it. It did not even answer back.

“What did I do?” Norman asked.

“When you talked to them, they thought they were in for a nice chat,” Said the Dummy. “But the things you SAID…! Horrible. Shocking! UNBELIEVABLE!”

Norman may not have remembered the Dummy very well, but he knew that all he did was ask him how the weather was before Toriel said that was good enough.

“It spooked them right out of their dummy! HUMAN! I’ll scare your Soul out of your body!”

Mad Dummy blocks the way.

“Listen, I didn’t mean—“ Norman started.

He stopped as a series of dummy-shaped bullets were fired his way. He jumped out of the way. He jumped back as they spun around like boomerangs and rushed back to him.

“OWWWW, you DUMMIES!! Watch where you’re aiming you MAGIC attacks!” the dummy cried. “Wait…forget I said that!”

Another set of bullets fired towards him, but Norman easily dodged them and watched them fire back at the Mad Dummy.

“HEY GUYS!” The Mad Dummy shouted as he summoned his next round of bullets. “Dummies. Dummies! DUMMIES! YOU’RE FIRED! YOU’RE ALL BEING REPLACED!!!”

The dummy bullets faded out of existence with sheepish expressions,

“Now you’ll see my real power,” said the Mad Dummy. “Relying on people that aren’t garbage!”

Mechanical whirs filled the room. Norman tried to talk him down again. He didn’t seem much for conversation. Nobody was happy with this.

The next set of bullets appeared, bulkier and boxier than the others. Norman jumped out of the way like the others, only to turn around and find they were still chasing him down. He ran forward, coming face to nuzzle with the Mad Dummy as they lost course and plowed into it.

“DUMMY BOTS! You’re awful???” the Mad Dummy cried.

More missiles were launched towards Norman, and he found himself running in circles. A few more hit the Mad Dummy.

“Who cares. Who cares! WHO CARES!!! I DON’T NEED FRIENDS!”

The dummy bots vanished, and were replaced with a single large bullet.

“I GOT KNIVES!!!”

The knife landed by Norman’s feet.

“I’m…out of knives.”

More bullets filled the field, but not the ones the Mad Dummy used. Most of them faded out before they got close to Norman, instead landing on the Mad Dummy and sizzling.

“Wh-what the heck is this? Acid rain?” said the Mad Dummy. “Oh FORGET IT! I’m outta here!”

The Mad Dummy slipped past Norman and back out into the fields of worthless garbage.

“…sorry, I interrupted you, didn’t I? as soon as I came over, your friend immediately left…oh no, it looked like you guys were having fun…oh no………………………………………………………………………………..”

There was a storm brewing in Blithe’s Hollow. As soon as the sun set and the dead rose, there was a chill in the air. Storm clouds hung in the air, crackling with thunder. Frisk could just make out the shapes that formed as they swirled. But it was not just a storm; that much was obvious. There was a type of pressure on their Soul, the same they usually felt as a Fight started. Something else was going on.

After a long back and forth conversation between two people that could not talk and two games of tic-tac-toe, Frisk understood better. The witch was not buried with the judges. They would have to find her grave, and start from there. Judge Hopkins was the only one, possibly ever, who knew where she was buried, so he led the way.

The town was deathly still. What was once packed with ghosts and people now only held a few cars and bystanders. The only sign that there was still life were the neon signs and traffic lights.

For some reason, that scared the zombies the most.

I know, gas prices have gone too high, Frisk wrote down in the notebook, because it seemed like a smart thing to say.

Jude Hopkins snatched the notebook from them and began writing furiously. He had filled nearly a page when they first heard the screams.

“well…I’m gonna go head home now…” said Napstablook. “oh…feel free to ‘come with’ if you want…but no pressure…”

“I don’t want to impose,” said Norman.

“neither do I…” said Napstablook.

They didn’t seem much for conversation. Nobody was happy with this.

“I live up just this way, in case you want to join me…” said Napstablook. “or, in case, you don’t…”

The neighborhood that sat just above the dump was small. There were only a handful of houses but they were all uniquely shaped. No one house looked the same, and no one house looked like a real house. Even Napstablook’s house was built into its neighbors, forming a perfectly symmetrical image.

The interior was much more what Norman would have expected. There were no chairs, but he remembered how his grandmother liked to phase in and out of furniture and figured most ghosts didn’t invest in things they could not touch. Yet there was a desk with a working computer, a small TV, even a refrigerator. And on the other side of the house were piles and piles of CDs.

“uh…do you wanna…listen to some tunes, or something…?” Napstablook asked.

#fic #Into the Unknown #Undertale #Paranorman #Frisk #the Cat #Norman Babcock #Napstablook #Undyne #featured

1 note · View note

o0o-chibaken-o0o · 7 years

Note

Hi! Do you know of any fics where Harry and Draco are both Aurors and have to work together? I've read quite a few but haven't come across one in a while. Either permanently partners or firced together for a single case, both work for me. (Note: I have read everything by l0vegl0wsinthedark so, much as I love reading and rereading What Real Thing, I figured it would better to warn you :D Thank you so much for all of your recs, they are so, unspeakably helpful! :)

(Thank you @celticrose1989 and @awesomesauceuniverse for the requests!! I decided to combine these, since fics in which only Draco is an auror/cursebreaker are pretty rare. I was planning to also combine this with a request for just Auror!Harry (with miscellaneous Draco) to make a giant Auror Drarry list, but it ended up being ridiculously long, so that one will come later this weekend! This one is already super long as-is, so I’ve tried to limit my commentary to 2-3 lines. Let it be known that it was very difficult, hahaha.)

Auror/Cursebreaker Partner Drarry Recs

What Real Thing? by loveglowsinthedark / @l0vegl0wsinthedark (13K)- They don’t cuddle, they don’t talk about their relationship (or lack thereof) and they certainly never fall asleep in each other’s arms.I know you’ve already read it, but you can’t expect me to just not include this amazing sexy pining fluffy piece of wonderfulness in my auror rec list!!! It includes the BEST AIRPORT SCENE (not at an airport) EVER.

Higher and Higher (Temptation) by birdsofshore (28.5K)- Only Harry Potter could manage to put on a magical collar on impulse and find himself unable to take it off again. Now following Draco’s direct orders gives him intense pleasure, and Draco has a whole heap of troubles to deal with, not least the way Potter looks when the collar has him gasping with bliss. The whole situation would test the morals of a saint… and Draco’s no saint.THIS FIC!! EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED. I STILL REMEMBER CLICKING ON IT AND NEARLY ORGASMING RIGHT THERE and it totally does its description justice! Technically Draco is a cursebreaker here.

Two Weeks by shiftylinguini / @shiftylinguini (22K)- If Harry had to guess which out of he or his Auror Partner, and tentative new friend, Draco Malfoy, would turn out to have Veela ancestry, his answer would be: neither, because that is ridiculous. Finding out the answer is actually him, and that his Veela heritage is wreaking havoc on his ability to work, sleep, and above all be in the same room as Malfoy, is a surprise to say the least. But this is fine. Harry’s been through worse, and he can just sit this one out, regardless of how much his body is screaming for the one person he doesn’t want to ask for help. Can’t he?WONDERFUL FABULOUS YES TIMES 96382!! Veela!Harry but like, read it even if that’s not usually your thing. GREAT pining!!! Phone sex. P H O N E S E X.

Lift Your Open Hand by firethesound / @firethesound (19K)- With Draco Malfoy as his assigned partner for the next six weeks of Auror training, Harry had been prepared for things to go poorly. But getting themselves accidentally bonded to each other in the first twenty minutes of their very first assignment seemed going above and beyond, even for them.What could you possibly need that isn’t in this fic? Includes bonding, domesticity, bed sharing, and Nicolas Cage. Perfection

Sex on Legs in Six-Inch Heels by tessacrowley / @tessacrowley (10K)- Draco Malfoy is a brilliant freelance cursebreaker and the only one who can help the Department of Magical Law Enforcement with a very dangerous case, but more importantly, he’s wearing six-inch heels, and Harry cannot handle it, he really just can’t.One of the first fics I read and STILL one of the hottest! The sex is amazing, as is the fact that Draco wears (surprisingly practical!) heels and women’s clothing in general I LOVE IT SO MUCH

Highlands by Seefin / @seefin (16K)- The tent was a joke, that was basically the only explanation he could come up with as to why the Aurors would send he and Draco on a several-month mission with only their most basic model. Once, when Harry had been on one of the big ones, the kind of mission where there was a little Auror camp out in the wilderness, twenty or so tents all pitched practically on top of each other, he had slept in one with two stories. Actually it was more of a mezzanine level, but still. Their current one didn’t even have a fucking toilet. And if Harry were allowed to communicate with anyone other than Draco then he would definitely be lodging an official complaint right about now.This fic is so sweet and slow (despite being only 16K, idk how she does it!). I love the development of their relationship, and being forced into close quarters is especially w o n d e r f u l.

Little Talks by femmequixotic and noeon / @femmequixotic and @noeeon (11.5K)- Draco’s been shagging the Head Auror for months now, and he’s sure it’s just a fling. Until Harry asks him to a Quidditch match, that is, and things go horribly wrong.AAAH THE SEX. Also the adorableness! And the whatthefuckishappening a real DATE??? But THE SEX! And the fluff! Sorry I’m incoherent, just READ IT!

Something More by thusspakekate (9K)- After a night of heavy drinking, Harry Potter has a love bite the size of Wales on his neck and an unsigned note from the man who gave it to him in his pocket. The only problem? He can’t quite remember who he brought home with him the night before. And what’s got Draco Malfoy in such a strop?OMG pining in this one like crazy. It’s obvious why from the summary, right?? Yeah? Just….you’re already feeling the angst, I know it, just read it and let it be resolved

One Big Misunderstanding by agentmoppet / @agentmoppet (7K)- Draco will be the first to admit that his choices aren’t particularly clever, especially when they involve Potter, but this has to be the worst one yet.OH, DRACO. Poor baby sends Harry and Blaise off on a date together and then becomes a jealous wreck and it’s beautiful.

You Send Me (Honest You Do) by firethesound (37K)- As far as potion accidents go in general, and deaging incidents go in particular, Draco knew this could have been so much worse. Harry only lost about ten years, and all his memories are still intact. But the sight of him looking as if he’s stepped straight out of Draco’s Hogwarts memories has dredged up a whole mess of complicated feelings Draco thought he’d buried years ago, and Draco really doesn’t know what to do with any of it.This is a GREAT use of the deaging trope (without being at all creepy btw, so don’t worry!), and Harry has tattoooooos!! Also more pining pining pining

Tales from the Special Branch Series by femmequixotic (304K so far)- When Gavin Robards asks him to form Special Branch seven-four-alpha, Harry Potter knows they’ll have to work outside the confines of the law–even though they are the law.Are you tired of me reccing this series yet? TOO BAD I’LL NEVER STOP MUAHAHA. This list just wouldn’t be complete without it! Who could ever tire of Draco fucking Harry, his senior officer???? NOT ME!!

All Our Secrets Laid Bare by firethesound (150K)- Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on.Another fic I’ve recced over and over because IT’S THE QUINTESSENTIAL BEST EVER CLASSIC AUROR PARTNER FIC IN MY OPINION so it literally cannot be missing from this list.

It’s the Love of the Chase (That Created the Ride) by lumosed_quill (14K)- Draco and Harry are new Auror partners. It’s a bit dull. Until they finally see some spell action and things get a lot more interesting (in Draco’s pants).Basically adrenalin rushes from cases make Harry and Draco crave sex and it’s amazing One Harry Potter Please (If Possible, Seduced and Ready) by faithwood (62K)- All Draco wants is Harry Potter’s friendship, just to make his new Auror job more bearable. However, after Harry stubbornly pays more attention to his secret admirer, Draco is forced to resort to drastic measures.So nearly all long-term-auror-partner fics have flangst because how could they not?? But this one stands out to me as being the FLANGSTIEST (this is a word now) EVER. Like an adorable idiot, Draco impersonates Harry’s secret admirer.

The Kaleidoscope Charm, or 50 Shades of Rainbow Magic by Omi_Ohmy (27K)- Getting Draco Malfoy as a boss was not the worst thing that happened to Harry; getting a crush on him was.Auror!Harry is assigned to work with Draco (of the Curse and Lock Breaking Dept). Also he owns a giant angel statue that looks just like him. ;D

Like Diamonds We Are Cut With Our Own Dust by raitala (11K)- Draco has borne the mark of the Dark Lord for over ten years. It is familiar to him, but he pays the price for it every day, and Harry has noticed.This fic is just so cool. It’s based on “that picture” by alekina, which I coincidentally reblogged just yesterday and is amazing and HARRY REMOVES DRACO’S DARK MARK YEP

Whoo Knew? by oceaxe (19K)- Despite having had a crush on his Auror partner for years, Draco’s been biding his time and waiting for the perfect opportunity to make his case. But when Harry subscribes to a new wizarding personals service, Draco gets a wake-up call. With new each message that arrives for Harry from a hopeful suitor, it becomes more and more clear that the time to act has arrived.MORE AUROR PARTNERS BEING RIDICULOUS PINING IDIOTS UNABLE TO COMMUNICATE, BUT THEY DO IT ALL SO CUTELY. And with owls this time!!

#rec list #drarry #drarry fic recs #drarry fanfic #auror partners #aurors #auror harry #auror draco #cursebreaker draco #i tagged the blogs of all of the authors i follow #i hope that's okay?#if you want me to remove the tag let me know!#chibarecs

1K notes · View notes

phoenixpinks · 7 years

Text

TEAM LAZARUS 1001 NAMES

40 pages you crazies, it’s been a fun year as record keeper.

Let’s try and reach 2,000 for next year!

Note: There are some spots where the emojis just didn’t register for me in the chat title.

1) Team Lazarus

2) Team Adorable

3) Team Laz-R-Us

4) a FUCKING glass

5) SHEER MASTERMINDS

6) THE ANSWER IS NUN (STRIKE 2? WE’RE HAVING NUN OF THAT!)

7) FUCK CHUCK

8) Dream Team Lazy-R-Us

9) Dream Team Meme Team Laz👏R👏Us

10) Dream Team Meme Team Laz👏R👏Us Groupies

11) Hello welcome to Lazarus how can we cry with you

12) WHATS NEW LAZAROO (WOOOAH WOAH WOAH WWWWWOOAH)

13) Team Lazarus Team Mom

14) Team Lazarus Team Mom Team Rosebush

15) Team Lazarus - Thorn Edition

16) Team Lazarus - Thorn Mom Edition

17) “Take that funky butt and shake it all around…” - Edward Nygma

18) Jonathan Crane brutally murders a bitch

19) Jonathan Crane is our Murder Senpai

20) The Monarch returns to haunt us

21) un Patrol team Lazarus

22) Two Pun or not Two pun, that is the question

23) Hi my name is jim ichabod fear stork rance and i have short stork borwn hair

24) FUCK MONARCH

25) FUCK MONARCH (He’s fine…yup)

26) Jonathan Crane is totally fine there is aboslutly nothing wrong

27) Great Googly Moogly Everything’s Gone to Shit

28) @SkypeOfficial please remove this group there’s been a terrible mispunderstanding

29) endgame: jonathan slapping edward’s ass

30) Team Lazarus, Weakpoint: Hydration

31) Team Lazarus Momobile Beep Beep

32) Team Firewood

33) 847-bOI

34) The Doctor is In!

35) Mom Squad Roll Out

36) The Nyma Sass

37) The Nygma Sass

38) Sass Machine

39) CRANE LIVES HROO HRAA

40) CRANE LIVES CALLOOH CALLAY

41) Mission: Save Riddler’s sassy ass

42) Dr. Crane, master of Hardcore self medical treament

43) Dr. Crane, master of Hardcore self medical treatment

44) Dr. Crane, Master of Hardcore Self Medical Treatment ™

45) *football team chant* G👏C👏P👏D

46) Beep Beep here comes spooky

47) doot doot here comes spooky

48) Beep Beep here comes spooky

49) NOOT NOOT HERE COMES SPOOPY

50) Beepy Boopy here comes the spoop lord

51) here comes a sexy spooky

52) Our Lord and Saviour Jonathan Crane, hallowed be thine burlap,

53) Cult of Burlap and Riddles

54) DJ JC as the lead show with Rapper E.Nygma as backup

55) 55

56) Codot don’t do it oH MY GOD

57) Brb pizza

58) I wanted a turn to change the title sorry guys

59) SO IT IS TO BE WAR BETWEEN US

60) You don’t control me

61) You never leave. Not really.

62) Save the pupper

63) Save the Riddler

64) Be there in a sec sanna

65) Ya’ll are horrible

66) STOP THIS MADNESS

67) NEVER

68) Please don’t go

69) boys with fractured femurs who break into asylums for you 😍😍😭😭💋💋💦💦👏👏👏👌👌👌👀👀👀👅👅👅

70) Great googly moogly it’s all gone to shit… AGAIN

71) Trust a GCPD officer who makes bad puns in high stress times

72) Blessed by Scarepai

73) Welcome back

74) DID SOMEONE SAY MONARCH

75) I imagine when Jonathan saves Edward and the rogues see him again Jonathan’ll grab Edward, pull him in front of him, look dead ahead, and then someone’ll put on the opening theme of lion king while a lone spotlight shines down on edward

76) wE’rE aLl MaD HeRe

77) scarecrow the science bro (CRANE CRANE CRANE CRANE)

78) #PrayForCodotChords2k16

79) Rip GCPD 2k16 never forget 🙏🙏🙏

80) Crane deserves better than this

81) Pish Posh you’ve turned the Hatter into a Hater!

82) The Mad Hater Needs His Fucking Alice

83) The Mad Hater Needs A Fucking Life

84) Y'all need a fucking life more

85) Stop being mean to Jervis

86) being mean to jervis gives me life

87) Y u hatin on Jervis

88) leave my mad bby alone

89) Jervis did nothing wrong

90) Jervis did EVERYTHING WRONG WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN ABOUT

91) JERVIS DID NOTHING WRONG

92) RIDDLE 9 BOI

93) Half-Past Alfred

94) SPOOKY SCARY sceletus

95) Y'all need help

96) RIP Codot

97) Too Smart for the Plans to Find the Smartest 98) BREAK A LEG JON

99) BREAK BOLTON’S LEG JON

100) FUZZ IS A TEACHER’S PET (AND PROUD)

101) We befriended murder sempai

102) We befriended murder sempai

103) Make a bff bracelet with murder senpai

104) “Shake the Box to See if it Complains

105) "What a SPOOKtacular occasion” - Jonathan Crane at some point

106) Ra’s League of Legends

107) Riddler’s Label Pen

108) Can THEY get Edward’s cup of hot cocoa right???

109) Have fun storming the castle

110) GET 👏 OUR 👏 BBYS 👏 THERAPY 👏 PETS 👏

111) clayface!hannah confirmed 2k16

112) SQUAD WITH TAX BENEFITS

113) More annoying and pretentious than Edward

114) MOON MOON

115) Oh. My. God.

116) DAMMIT HANNAH

117) WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

118) Hannah Killed Crane!!

119) “tgis chat changes names faster than the captor changes his rules”

120) Moon Moon, Prince of Prose

121) Books-R-Us 2k16

122) angst, puns and ocs

123) Codot as Theo Saurus 2k16"

124) Ready for pain

125) #kingtheo2k16

126) A-TEAM BADA BING BADA BOOM

127) *faux french accent* A-TEAM BADA BING BADA BOOM

128) YOU GET A CAT, YOU GET A CAT, EVERYBODY GETS A CAT!!!

129) Story Planners Inc.

130) M O N A R C H

131) E D W A R D ’ S A S S

132) What the heckle deckle did you just diddly done say about me, you little nerd? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Meme Team, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on The Captor, and I have over 3 confirmed riddle solves. I am trained in online research and I’m the top blogger in the entire codot army. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you clean out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my diddly words. You think you can get away with saying that lie to me over the Internet? Think again, meanie. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Team Lazarus and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your riddleS. You’re dead, Hush. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can out meme you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in internrt combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Google and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable hints off the face of the continent, you little twerp. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” kidnapping was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your undank memes.. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you snake. I will rain puns all over you and you will drown in it. You’re dead, you viper.

133) Hello Arkham, I have 23 more patients to be admitted

134) Team Lazarus

135) Good 👏 Luck 👏 Brown 👏

136) Morals What Morals

137) Crane confirmed Pyro main in TF2

138) INTO THE KILN

139) SAVE JONATHAN CRANE 2K16

140) Thomas more like ThomASS

141) INTO THE KILN

142) doting ignorami

143) LET JON USE HIS SCYTHE 2K16

144) Spoopy Scary Skeletor 💀

145) HROO HRAA 🎃👻💀

146) TEAM CRANE 2K16

147) TEAM MEME 2K16

148) FREE EDWARD NYGMA 2K16

149) FREE EDWARD NYGMA’S UNGRATEFUL ASS 2K16

150) Meaningful

151) Murder Sempai and the Ungrateful Kid in Time-Out

152) What the heckle deckle did you just diddly done say about me, you little nerd? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Meme Team, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on The Captor, and I have over 3 confirmed riddle solves. I am trained in online research and I’m the top blogger in the entire rids army. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you clean out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my diddly words. You think you can get away with saying that lie to me over the Internet? Think again, meanie. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Team Lazarus and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your riddleS. You’re dead, Hush. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can out meme you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in internrt combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Google and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable hints off the face of the continent, you little twerp. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” kidnapping was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your undank memes.. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you snake. I will rain puns all over you and you will drown in it. You’re dead, you viper.

153) Thank you, Codot

154) AFTER PARTY

155) AFTER PARTY (Thank you, Codot)

156) Hush: I finally have it, the brightest of minds…. *taps into followers minds* // Followers: nEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWNNNN // Hush: what the f-

157) 4311791161/174743432/17237911/974773/7353

158) Happy Birthday, Bill!

159) #GiveCrocaDuckling2k16

160) Password: M O N A R C H

161) #GiveJonathanCraneHisRingBack2k17

162) #GiveAllTheRougesBetterChildhoods2kforver

163) SaveZsasz2k16

164) #ChangeTheEducationSystem2k16

165) #IbelieveinZsazs

166) Clayface is at it again

167) Team Blanket Fort

168) Sionis’s Poor Mini Golf Score

169) Recollective Music Box

170) TEAM BERET

171) #TeamMimikyu

172) FUCK U TEAM BOARDGAME HAT

173) wow

174) screw you guys i’m going home

175) MASQUERADE PAPER FACES ON PARADE

176) a disaster beyond imagination

177) BRING DOWN THE CHANDELIER

178) paaaast the point of no return

179) Riddler’s butt club

180) IM NOT CLAYFACE OMF

181) Riddler’s peanut gallery

182) And how does that make you feel?

183) Codot save us from the math

184) Codot, Challenger Of Trig 2k16

185) THE MIDDLE FINGET

186) Monarch

187) How to train your fly trap by Pamela Isley

188) How to train your fly trap by Pamela Isley (Illustrated by Harley)

189) How to train your fly trap by Pamela Isley (Illustrated by Harley) And brought to life by Edward Nygma (narrator) and Jonathan Crane (fly trap)

190) Team Lazarus: Study Group

191) Riddle me this

192) It’s Sad O’ Clock

193) FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

194) Team Lazarus is breaking down Arkham’s door!

195) Monarch

196) New Title

197) Bookworm did nothing wrong and is precious

198) Asshole McAsshole Nashton: Edward’s father

199) Ashton Nashton Strikes Again

200) Team Lazarus: So extra

201) Protect Query from gross men

202) ANARCHY

203) “I am vengeance. I am the night. I AM MONARCH OF MENACE!

204) COME ON AND SLAM! AND WELCOME TO THE JAM!

205) Hannah’s at it again

206) Roman mcasshole Sionis

207) LetAlfredoBeHappy2k16

208) Pasta Shame

209) Team Lazarus’s Civil War: Don’t Cry Over Spilled Spaghetti

210) MASS SEND HROO HRAA

211) Hroo Hraa Secured

212) Operation: Make Edward Trust Us

213) #MakeEddieTrustUs2k17

214) Team Tiny Hroos

215) Detective Wayne- it’s me, Edward!

216) Indy’s Cane Thighs 👀

217) Nightmares and hell spawn

218) Leo got that dank fear toxin 👀👀👀

219) Den of Snakes

220) Den of Snakes

221) Den of Sneks (and one fox)

222) Dat Snort Tho

223) Haroo haraa

224) Snek snek snek snek snek

225) Get that stanky broken bond stuff away from me

226) Brown my lord and savior

227) Meet Zsaszarus Pit in the Lazarus Pit where its Lazarus Lit

228) MEET ME IN THE COURT, THOMAS

229) Sinister Memes

239) Hannah is Clayface. Must elminate Hannah.

240) I AM NOT CLAYFACE

241) ProtectStrawChild2k16

242) Don’t talk to me or my children about that 3D Batman cartoon EVER AGAIN

243) Alfredo Pennyworth 2k16

244) IT’S RAINING FURRIES

245) Mom Squad

246) Crane Spank

247) Crane Spank - Rated G for everyone

248) I will not embrace that man - Jonathan Crane

249) Swiggity swooty comin’ for that booty

250) Jervis is a smol bun bun

251) I AM NAUGHT CLAYFACE

252) I AM NAUGHT CLAYFACE (She lies)

253) I AM NAUGHT CLAYFACE (She lies) SO, NEGATIVE CLAYFACE?

254) CodotisaGift2k16

245) [7:15:18 AM] Make like a Crane and burn him down

246) #Rogues!LittleShopOfHorrors

247) Dig Dug Dimmadome

248) Jello Crane

249) Support Sanna 2k16

250) Jon Crane the Science Train

251) The Scarecrow and his Tiny Hroos

252) The Scarecrow and his Tiny Hroos

253) Crane save us from the angry cheeto man

254) Alpacutie255) #KingCodot

256) Francesco the tap dancing cocktail shrimp

257) LetVictorAndNoraBeHappy2k16

258) Indy the cutest (snek)

259) 🎉Happy Birthday, Indy the cutest (snek) 🎉

260) Support Bookworm 2k16

261) Codot Is Our King, He Should V/O Everything

262) Jon, Jon, Jon, TITS, cats

263) #KingSkeletor

264) Give your bae the FLIPPER

265) Ahem... TITTYSPRINKLES AWAAAAAAAAAAY!

266) Zsasz vs Codot meme battle

267) Jonathan Crane's Rent is Too Damn High

268) "IF YOU DIE IN THE GAME YOU DIE FOR REAL

269) FUCKING DOUSE ME IN FEAR TOXIN IDGAF I AM WILLING I AM READY

270) Aesthetic: Edward paired with Que Sera Sera

271) Aesthetic: Edward Nygma Kinkshaming Jonathan Crane

272) Jonathan Crane Loves The Sideboob

273) Lego Batman Voice: I'M BATMAN

274) Zsasz will fight your bullies for free

275) Drumpf The Sith Lord

276) Please no political stuff thank you

277) Oh my god Codot (TM)

278) "Oh my Godot

279) RIP Leo the Viper, October 2016-November 2016 🙏🙏🙏

280) RIP Leo the PENGUIN, October 2016-November 2016 🙏🙏🙏

281) #IBelieveInBookworm

282) #ICan'tBelieveZsazsisBookworm

283) _removed conversation name_

284) BLANK

285) SIX MILLION TONS OF WHITE BULLSHIT ON MY DRIVEWAY

286) Everyone Boop Zsasz's nose

287) Psyche

288) Hannah's teachers are crazy

289) CODOT: QUEEN OF FRANCE

290) Spats on Cats

291) The Great Gaysby

292) Alfredo is the parent they deserve #SaveThem

293) Scarecrows Long Leggies

294) Give Edward His Glasses Back 2K16

295) Never Forget

296) Zsasz your local gentle farmerer just wants to tend to her goats

297) Zsasz your local gentle farmemer just wants to tend to her goats

298) Jonathan Crane: The Point Hoarder

299) Spats Over Spandex, Fashions By Leo

300) "Riddle meme this, Batman!"

301) Spoopy Jono

302) Save me from the bad sci-fi

303) Scarebeast vs. Riddlebot

304) _removed conversation name_

305) 1 v 1 me mate

306) Fight Club: Team Lazarus Edition

307) Law and Order: Team Lazarus edition

308) FUZZ WILL RISE AGAIN

309) It's your local Scarebro and his spooky sales

310) All hail Brown, Keeper of the Lazarus Records

311) All hail Sanna, keeper of the AUs

312) Wayne!Rouges headcanon HQ

313) Do not let the dank city fall

314) DO IIIIIT

315) Crane: They're so goddamn stupid

316) Team Lazarus Is Torn Apart By Overwatch

317) Team Lazarus: a bunch of gleeful homewreckers.

318) Pyro marries Team Lazarus

319) Short people vs tall people: The Codot Wars

320) Question Mark Codpiece. Yep.

321) Yes Glitter

322) NO GLITTER

323) Things heating up in the glitter fandom

324) Pray for Zsasz

325) We are all Tesla

326) *FIGHT HANNAH'S TEACHER*

327) *FIGHT HANNAH'S TEACHER AND CLASSMATES*

328) Law and Order: Team Lazarus Edition episode 2

329) The Fashion Police: Team Lazarus Edition

330) "Emerald colored - he's so pretentious. It's GREEN." - Jonathan about Edward @ some point

331) Jon's crows and various corvids

332) Wanna know how I got these scars?

333) probably got them scars from a drunk dare dude

334) AIN'T NO PARTY LIKE A CODOT PARTY 'CAUSE A CODOT PARTY DON'T STOP

335) codot pls voice morgan freeman in gotham. not as lucius, just morgan freeman.

336) leo vs edward nygma

337) Hello Naughty Children It's Sad Time)

338) Hi Diddle Diddle It's Dr Riddle

339) Codot was here, but he was sent to bed. YOLO.

340) Smol Rids in Space *NYOOM*

341) RAH RAH RAH MASTER OF FEAR)

342) HRAA HRAA HRAA MASTER OF FEAR

343) Au central

344) Don't mention Edward's 500+ issues to him or he'll have a meltdown and likely recluse to a shell of his former self

345) Sanna go to bed

346) Sanna went to bed

347) Sanna went to bed (at last)

348) N E V E R F O R G E T

349) Waiting For Alfredo to snatch us

350) No One Expects the Boop-quisition

351) PIANO IS MY PARAMOUR

352) Cause he's a primadonna girl, yeah /all he ever wanted was batmans id

353) Happy Birthday Spoopy

354) Doctor Crane and His Horde of Interns

355) Doctor Crane and His Horde of Interns (Also Molly is my #queen support her 2k16)

356) Do Not Send Crane Bee Movie Quotes

357) According to all known laws of aviation...

358) Alex no. You're grounded.

359) there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

360) Go home, Alex.

361) Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

362) COME ON AND SLAM

363) IF I GO OUT IT'S GOING TO BE BY FEAR TOXIN NOT SOME ORANGE CHEETO MAN

364) okay but have you seen trump's caterpillar

365) Killer croc is awesome

366) PROFESSOR CRANE MY KING (emojis removed)

367) LET RALPH HAVE HIS PEN 2k16

368) Let scarecrow have his classic origin in rebirth 2016

369) Let Jon have a scythe again 2k16

370) Hannah is still Clayface, BEWARE

371) Ban Lindsey 5ever

372) #LetIvySing2k16

373) Harvey Dent: Matchmaker Extraordinaire. :D

374) Our Lord and Saviour Jonathan Crane can handle trashy students. Unfortunately, Thomas Elliot is a SUPER trashy student

375) Ferret Lord Jonathan Crane 2k16

376) Jon is no longer ferret lord worthy

377) Make Crane love ferrets 2k16

378) Slenderman Only Fears Jonathan Crane

379) Me, banging my cooking pots outside of DC headquarters: LET FEMALE VILLAINS BE VILLAINOUS

380) CONFIRMED

381) Promote the garbage man to garbage boss

382) Everything Changed When the Boop Nation Attacked

383) Blessed by the spoopy presence of detective

384) ProtectIkky2k16

385) rip doctor spooky

386) DON'T HATE ON OTHERS BECAUSE YOU MADE A POOR GUESS

387) RIP HANNAH

388) Trigonometry more like trigoNOmetry

389) Mother Nature can take her frozen tears and throw them into the sun

390) A Rainbow of Bullshit

391) Ames deserves better 2k16

392) Bolton confirmed republican

393) Dollar Store Bane

394) Indy still needs to fight me in the pit

395) Ames V Indy: FIGHT ACROSS CANADA

396) Here I go, here I go, here I go again! Gotham, What's my weakness? Riddles!

397) fuck you

398) The power of puns compels you!

399) i've ascended good and evil fuck you all

400) Lego my fuckin eggo

401) Leo's corner

402) CONFIRMED

403) NOT CONFIRMED

404) C ON F I R M E D

405) DOUBLE C ON F I R M E D

406) DOUBLE C O N F I R M E D

407) FIGHTFIGHT

408) The coin says you're a punk-ass bitch -Harvey Dent, 2016

409) Becky deserves better 2k16

410) Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow

411) Who wants to date this Riddle Cutie?

412) DO YOUR HOMEWORK, TEAM LAZARUS

413) Eddie, you're one clever S.O.B.

414) Codot is the Spanish Inquisition

415) Home work more like n o.

416) FEARBREEZE

417) Gotta go spray the room with my fearbreeze

418) Why is Codot ass deep in medical notes?

419) codoot did the noot noot

420) Leo & Codot Sitting in a Tree…

421) Team Lazarus > Codot

422) eam Lazarus = Codot

423) ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD

424) Leo is pretty cool

425) Hickory Dickory Doc

426) You can't just marry everyone Pyro

427) Jervis is a weeb, Edward is a weeb, hell, we're all weebs

428) “Retreat, retreat! It’s all a part of my cunning plan, really!”

429) #LetEdwardPlayPiano2k16

430) Im gonna name my mimikkyu "Eddie" because they both just want to be loved

431) Professional Chicken Holder

432) _removed conversation name_

433) http://lankybrunettepartdeux.tumblr.com/private/153587955220/tumblr_oh4qhizCiE1u7xkfs

434) (turkey) (turkey) (turkey)

435) #codootdoot

436) Jon didn't do anything wrong

437) Jon did a lot fo things wrong but not all of them

438) Riddler does not get drunk, children. The Riddler just has fun.

439) STUCK IN THE FEAR JEANS FOREVER

440) Fear Jeans

441) STUCK IN THE FEAR JEANS FOREVERZ

442) rankled

443) rankled fear jeans

444) WRITING IDEAS FUCK YEAH

445) They are all here...in the Twilight Zone *doo doo doo doo doo doo doo*

446) RIDDLER'S LABEL PEN RETURNS

447) Clayface is my hero

448) King COdot

449) King Codot

450)King Codootdoot

451) KINGshame Codoot

452) Tea Time w Hannah

453) Cake Wars

454) This chat title will now change every one minute

455) Hello mtv welcome to my crib *points at sinkhole in ground*

456) HUMPSUIT

457) END OF DAYS: A Telltale Games Series

458) "THANKS DAD" IM SCREAMINF

459) Jonathan Cr-EH-ne

460) TWO F-EH-CE

461) Memeobile, Codotcycle, and 2013 toyota corolla

462) FEED ME

463) what the frick frack paddywhack is this fucking cat

464) YOU'RE UNDER ARREST CUTIE

465) HANNAH'S SISTER CONFIRMS, HANNAH IS CLAYFACE

467) HANNAH IS THE ALPHA TWIN

468) HANNAH IS THE ALPHA TWIN

469) Hannah is Clayface, sister confirms

470) THE DAD MOM

471) s top with monarch i am tIRED

472) ikky licky his dicky

473) ikky licky his sTICKY NOTES JOKES

474) “jack call me jackie nashton”

475) KATIE WON THE HUNGER GAMES

476) SO PROUD OF LEO WINNING THE HUNGER GAMES

477) WAYLON DESERVES TO WIN THE HUNGRY GAMES

478) WAYLON WON THE HUNGER GAMES IN MY HEART

479) The coin says you're a punk ass bitch

480) KILLER COCK

481) hi diddle, cockzilla fucked my riddle

482) hi diddle diddle, cockzilla fucked my riddle

483) Ames and Indy official OTP

484) Codot dies from thirst

485) Indy dies from Programmer Dad Thirst

486) Gotham Thugs: The Musical!

487) This is discrimination against farmers and i have several pages of objections ranging from hatred on hay to blasphemy against my beans

488) Zsasz vs Zsasz Dad

489) Go to bed Sanna

490) Zsasz Vs the 21 other people in this chat pt 2

491) "We talked, we drowned people, we told our life stories!!!" -Emma 2016

492) Batman is judging you

493) Team Lazarus: Fire and friendship

494) CROC WITH PUPPIES

495) #Let DCCharactersHaveNiceThings2KForever

496) Almost 500 tittles

497) C'mon guys, we can make it! :D

498) My hotline isn't bling rn -Zsasz

499) Team Lazarus, blasting off again!

500) FIVE HUNDRED 500NER THAN EXPECTED

501) HAMBURGER MAN CONFIRMED TWO FACE

502) Codot is the oldest twin #Confirmed

503) Crane (singing and prepping a fear toxin injection): Granny got run over by a reindeer…

504) Crane (singing and prepping fear toxin): Granny got run over by a reindeer...

505) Batdad would like to have a word in the Batcave

506) endgame: edward kinkshaming jonathan for slapping his ass

507) CODOR

508) CODOR (Translation: "YOU SHOULD ALL BE LOCKED UP IN A CAGE WITHOUT A KEY!")

509) 2016: so bad the waynes might as well be murdered again

510) MITHRA MEOW

511) Knock Ivy and Jervis out with Dr. Spoop

512) HAPPY HOLIDAYS Y'ALL

513) AMES QUEEN OF KICKASS OCS

514) Hi my name is ethan darkness dementia raven cobblepot and i have peroxide blonde hair and blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me i look like dick grayson

515) RIP Jonathan Crane was fucking destroyed by Becky Albright

516) Tempting Fate

517) Pray 4 Leo

518) Pray That Leo’s Tablet Clears Customs

519) THE JELLO CUP STRIKES BACK

520) KING CODOT STRIKES AGAIN

521) Codot is a peach

522) time to shove a scythe up hIS ASS

523) Codot is a strange mutant adult child #Confirmed

524) LetRiddlerCry#2k16

525) The Riddler People Vs Codot

526) Codot's Cross-Ocean Speedo

527) We are assholes team lazarus

528) We are (assholes) team lazarus

529) Sarah's explosive flatulence

530) Codot the mediocre skype god

531) Codot the magnificent skype god

532) Riddler's Depressed Combat Bots

533) LetJonathanSayWhoopAss2k17

534) Give us the Red Hood/Rogues Kill Bill Joker hunt

535) Pray circle for Indy

536) SEXY LEXI LUTHOR

537) GOTHAM PRINCESS BRIDE GOTHAM PRINCESS BRIDE

538) Deathstroke the Strokedeath

539) Team Lazarus is breaking down, that's it. Nothing new here.

540) CODOT IS THE NUMBER ONE FOLKS

541) you got 2 leggies get walkin

542) WHERE'S MY MONEY YOU DIRTY BAGUETTE

543) LEO'S GOT A TABLET AGAIN

544) Leo and Ames: Defenders of the Gecko

545) Spoopy Birb

546) GIVE ME JESTER HARLEY OR GIVE ME DEATH

547) "I'll LEAF you to your thoughts."

548) because uncly Clayface is my friend

549) lizards are magic fuck you steve

550) Team Lazarus calls are magic

551) Happy Holidays ya memer

552) england sucks

553) MERRY CHRISTMAS YA FILTHY ANIMALS!!

554) well i just listened and my icy heart is now a furnace

555) Sad oclock is always on the horizon

556) Shine bright like dick graysons 90's suit

557) INDY MADE A PUNNY

558) CODOT RUINS CHRISTMAS 2016

559) CODOT RUINS BOXING DAY

560) FUCK 2016 SIDEWAYS WITH A CROWBAR

561) Death Titties

562) Codot's Pointy Death Titties

563) Indy was a Canadian before it was cool

564) ZSAZS PARLE LE FUCKING FRANÇAIS

565) CANADIAN DEATH MATCH

566) Is the sun a giant space heater

567) the fresh thane of scotland

568) Indy is a meme

569) FAREWELL 2016

570) Better step up your game the bis are your greatest hurdle

571) We are all sned

572) #LetEddiebe5'1 2k17

573) TOLS VS SMOLS 2K17

574) Dear Sylvester: Please don't kill clayface

575) Oops

576) Is that a challenge?

577) Purple Cauliflower is beautiful and should not be hated on 2k17

578) OSCAR ISAAC AS HARVEY DENT 2k17

579) MARK HAMILL MVP

580) KING DRURY MOTHMAN CONFIRMED

581) LEOOOOOOOOOOOOO

582) Ivy and the horrible baguette

583) Zsasz failed

584) #IBelieveInZsasz

585) Lep

586) EXPOSE ZSASZ 2K17

587) Tis I, the frenchiest fry

588) I will keep this title until Leo returns to symbolize how much I miss his absence

589) Riddler can't grow a beard so he just grows everything else instead

590) "Riddler can't grow a beard so he just grows everything else instead" - Indy, 01/13/2017

591) Operation: Leo Punches All The Riddlers

592) Operation: Leo Punches All The Riddlers, starting with Ames

593) YOOOOOU'RE HERE, THE FRENCHIEST FRY IS NEEEEAR,

594) ROGUES MUSICAL

595) "It's Gotham, reasonably wears spandex" -Hayden Ayala

596) SWEET SMELL OF SUCC

597) There's no 'I' in team but there is an 'I' in pizza

598) #IbelieveinHannah

599) Operation: "Fight Shitty Teachers" is underway

600) My brain is an intricate ecosystem which is on fire

601) DREAM TEAM MEME TEAM- RALPH, HAYDEN, AND AMIR

602) SYLVESTER SURPRISE

603) THERE'S A GUN TO YOUR HEAD AND DEATH IN HIS EYES

604) CLUB PENGUIN

605) Sucant Dehydrogenase more like SUCCant dehydrogenase

606) George Orwell can fight me

607) Mr Freeze studies CRY-ogenics

608) CODOT'S A DORK

609) MONARCH THEATRE

610) The perfume is a lie

611) We're never going to make it to 1,000 names at this rate

612) WE CAN DAMN WELL TRY

613) An epic quest of name-changing begins

614) WE GOTTA

615) Forgive my memeing sins

616) Chat name that's the entirety of the Bee Movie script

617) Chat name that's- NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP

618) the size of riddler size of riddler's mASSIVE EGO

620) his peen's much smaller than his ego

621) Team flirt with almost all mols and their bosses

622) HROO HRAA SECURED

623) LICKY

624) Reasonably Priced Sarcasm

625) Reasonably Priced Sarcasm (Roll back on that attitude)

636) Whomst'd've'lu'yaint'nt'ed'ies's'y'es'nt't're'ing'able'tic'ive'al'nt'ne'm'll'ble'al'ny'less'w'ck'k'ly'py'nd'idy'ety'st'ged'ful'ish'ng'my'ous

637) Explain your misery in terms of how much you hate chem and fuck yous

638) Crazy Quilt is our new mascot sorry jon

639) Ta-dah! Sard broken

640) Team Lazarus goes to McDonald's

641) (งಠ_ಠ)ง

642) YAINT

643) BLOCKED DELETED UNFOLLOWED

644) Hannan

645) Arkham's newest inmate: The Monarch Theater

646) Codot is a teasing bastard

647) THE MEMEWORM STRIKES

648) STOPHENCHMENBULLYING2K17

649) STOPHENCHMENBULLYING2K17 (ALSO STOPSNAKESNAMEDKATIE2K17)

650) TEAM LAZARUS IN A TRENCHCOAT

651) Zsasz is the meme snake

652) #TEAMLAZARUSFIGHTSTHEEDUCATIONALSYSTEM

653) #memesoutfotzsasz

654) In this house we appreciate Codot

655) AMES IS A CUTE, DISCUSS

656) BROWN IS A CUTE, DISCUSS

657) Team Lazarus is filled with cuties: Discuss

658) Eddie and Ozzie: BrOTP For Life

659) Beware the Ides of March.

660) -pation

661) What is human

662) #IBelieveInLeo

663) BUTTS, GEORGIA

664) YAY EMMA

665) fuckin ninja nibs

666) Schemer is Poison Ivy! Spread the word!!!

667) Spoopy Dorito

668) Professor Spoopy Dorito PhD-MD

669) SNES

670) WAYLON MY BOY

671) Time for Jon to be a Major Asshole™

672) We Are All Clayface

673) I want you and your windows xp level memes out of my h OUSE

674) GIVE ME ALL YOUR SNOW

675) All's fair in love and mario kart

676) Happy Ides of March

677) KLARION THE BITCH BOY

678) Do you wanna kink or the fic -Zsasz

679) Katie Unwittingly Interrupts Serious Time in the Chat With Stupid Link

680) Leo needs to go to the SHAME CUBE

681) Ames is a beautiful Canadian princess and I love her

682) Lemme just jot that down in my "Big List Of Manipulative Dick Moves For Jon To Make"

683) Zsasz, please do not fight the Penguin. For your own safety.

684) Zsasz, please do not fight the Penguin. For your own safety. -Amie, 2017

685) The Great Soprano-Alto War

686) We Do Not, Leo.

687) i aint capullo

688) leo is capullo

689) Leo's art is dank

690) either cannibal or gay -Leo 2k17

691) My what a guy that Baaaaaaane

692) dark katies blog show me the hidden memes

693) uncovers batman's chest, revealing dem nipples behold

694) Tobias Whale can eat from the bag of infinite dicks.

695) AMES IS A CUTE

696) Codot could be lured to his death by Ames

697) Ames, please just visit the poor man!

698) Ames will visit the poor man when she gets the motivation and chance

699) 👀

700) Ames is the dankest meme

701) Ames is banned from 1v1-ing people

702) Edward Nygma is Nerd: discuss

703) Like 'I just mixed meth with crack and a splash of heroin and drank the thing like it was water in a desert'

704) We are drowning in the bred. Lik the bred.

705) I refuse to get verbally frisky with myself

706) I refuse to get verbally frisky with myself -Codot, 2017

707) I Believe in Jonathan Crane

708) And the SAD RP AWARD goes to ... Slyv

709) And the SAD RP AWARD goes to ... Sylvester stallone

710) OUR LORD AND SAVIOR DORITO CRANE

711) Leo gonna roast clayface so hard clayface'll become pottery

712) 19v1 everyone in this chat v ames

713) Zsasz 👏 Did 👏 No 👏 Wrong

714) #StopZsaszBullying2K17 715) #StopZsaszBullying2K17 (katie is innocent)

716) #StopKatieBullying2K17

717) http://lankybrunettepartdeux.tumblr.com/post/158985611430/when-theres-trouble-who-you-gonna-call-not

718) when there's trouble, who you gonna call? not edward because he's probably there anyway

719) President OSWALD 2020

720) leo and codot sITTIN IN A TREE

721) UKK YSE CREATIVITEA

722) I pray at my altar of sluts

723) ames more like aMESS

724) ProtectAmes2k17

725) Leo's Career Pseudonym: Not Greg Capullo

726) You gotta keep up to date on all the hot Team Lazarus memes

727) #TeamCondimentKing

728) #TeamCrazyQuilt

729) #TeamKiteMan

730) #TeamEgghead

731) #TeamKillerMoth

732) #TeamKingCobra

733) #TeamKillerCroc

734) #TeamKingCodot

735) #TeamLazarus

736) E G G

737) PYRO'S PROFESSOR IS CRANE #CONFIRMED

738) ALL CANADIANS ARE VIPERS

739) ALL CANADIANS (except amy ofc what an angel) ARE VIPERS

740) ALL CANADIANS (specially amy ofc) ARE VIPERS

741) Go the fuck to sleep, Brown! - Samuel L. Jackson

742) Think on your sins Lindsey

743) aH FUCMED IP

744) Leo stop looking @ the skype group and go nap gdi

745) HANZO IS TITTY ARCHER MAN

746) AMES NO

747) "Birds have nipples!"

748) oswald: imma suck the ornithonipnops

749) Katie the cyberbully

750) Katie n the Heelies sounds like a great band name

751) Chungus Humongous

752) Draw me like one of your sexy Jim Gordon's

753) Someone cure Katie's thirst for Jim Gordon

754) Judge Leo is now in court

755) Let Leo use a british accent 2k17

756) AMES' EMBARASSING PAST

757) y'all'd've g'dabbed

758) Rip amy killed by leo 2k17

759) I never stop. I MUST NEVER STOP. -Codot 2k17

760) #IkkyProtectionSquad

761) Leo spreads fake informaion like butter 2k17

762) Scaring Ames 2k17

763) why do you son

764) special memes for special ppl

765) Team Lazarus: Obsessed with the Zsaszarus

766) Zsasz is the new young god confirmed

767) *record scratch* so you're probably wondering how i became a cult idol 768) The Riddler Who Can't Solve Riddles

769) M'AIDER Stranded Frisk

770) BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL

771) Ames, please explain WTF Canada is.

772) War of the heights

773) Little oyster

774) Amie has done nothing wrong.

775) #giveamescoffee2k17

776) Wow I can't believe Leo is the fucking pope

777) Wow I can't believe (amy) is the fucking pope

778) Wow can't believe Leo is actually Cthulhu

779) Leo should go to bed instead of eating doritos on a burger :):):)

780) Ames was an scene kid, discuss.

781) Believe in the nipple priest

782) Believe in the Nipple Priests

783) Clayface stop changing this without context or I will rip off your eye

784) Clayface stop changing this without context or I will rip off your eyelids

785) LONG LIVE THE NIPPLE PRIESTS

786) GO BACK TO BE POTTERY, CLAYFACE

787) Que sera sera, binch

788) Ikky is best birb

789) Everybody sue leo

790) I’ll fight you, strawman

791) There is a Strawman waiting in the sky

792) I <3 Amie

793) I LOVE ALPACA

794) I swim with dolphins at my own pace - Alpaca for president 2020

795) ames is a cute, confirmed

796) The things this chat makes me read

797) IM A CTUALLY CALLING THE RCMP

798) Jonathan and Oswald attend furrycon together

799) Jonathan, Oswald, and Selina attend furrycon together

800) hello my name is ebony darkness dementia raven way I have long black f

801) hello my name is ebony darkness dementia raven way I have long black fur and blood red eyes and i n'ya a lot

802) I can't believe Cluemaster is from Ames' town

803) Y'ALL'RE DIRTY SINNERS

804) ZSASZ WE'RE SORRY PLEASE COME BACK

805) Katie hecked up so badly we are gonna see a shitpost of the shitpost

806) KATIE IS PURE AND IS VOID OF LEO'S SIN

807) Leo is my confirmed memer in crime

808) PYGMALION MORE LIKE PYGMALINO

809) ames wants a trudeau body pillow, don't believe her lies

810) cant believe katie encourages leos bad habits smh dead 2 me

811) #GiveCraneAYellowRing2k17

812) Katie 4 president (of my ❤ if i have one)

813) ames secretly loves the pyg

814) MY QUEEN AMES

815) Are you a chouchou person or a moonmoon person

816) we are Bros or Foes no inbetween

817) Wow I can't believe the dirty baguette is responsible for Jon's Arkham asylum outfit

818) Leo is a snek #confirmed

819) HES A FILTHY FEAR BOY

820) I prefer my clowns without legs

821) Thou hath me shooketh

822) MIEF

823) A DEN OF MIEFS

824) When u gotta carve that pig bc bae is coming but u feed ur victims to ur pigs???? (Emojies removed bc they fucked with the document)

825) When bae says he didnt poison ur wine 😍😍😍❤❤❤❤👅👅👅👅👅👅✊✊✊✊💦💦💦💦💦

826)Can't believe Katie wants to marry Lucenzo Daddy-tino 😧😧😧

827) Katie just wants to live with Harvey Bullock and his cats, thank u very much

828) LET 👏 DADDY-TINO 👏 LIVE 👏

829) Katie cheated Luncenzo with Bullock and thats why Bullock is dead

830)Can't believe Bullock got decked my Katies THOT 😭😭😭😭

831) Can't believe Katies THOT tried to seduce Jonathan Crane via pork dinner and expensive wine 😭📞🚔🚔🚔🚔

832) i can't believe oswald cobblepot is taller than ames (insert a million emoji's here)

833) i can't believe oswald cobblepot is taller than ames 😭😭😭✊✊✊💦💦💦👅👅👅👀👀👀

834) Famemely of Meifs

835) Memebers of the Mief Famemely

836) EVERYTHING THREATENS TO GO TO SHIT...AGAIN

837) LET EDWARD NYGMA HAVE A THICC BOOTY 2K17

838) RIDDLER HAS NO BUTT

839) ur'e

840) B O I

841) According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign..

842) According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're 👏gonna👏 take👏 him 👏up👏. Really? 👏Feeling..

843) CRASHIN MY SKYPE YA GODLESS HEATHEN

844) According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign..

845) NOOOOOOOO

846) According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign..

847) IM PUTTIN MY FOOT DOWN

848) According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign..

849) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

850) Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. (laughs) Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of - (toilet flush) Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go after the ogre. NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME MAN1Think it's in there? MAN2All right. Let's get it! MAN1Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? MAN3Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread. Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs. SHREKYes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. MENNo! SHREKThey'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast. MAN1Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! (waves the torch at Shrek.) Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the men are in the dark. SHREKThis is the part where you run away. (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.) And stay out! (looks down and picks up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and throws the paper over his shoulder.) THE NEXT DAYThere is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three little pigs. GUARDAll right. This one's full. Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up! HEAD GUARDNext! GUARD(taking the witch's broom) Give me that! Your flying days are over. (breaks the broom in half) HEAD GUARDThat's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next! GUARDGet up! Come on! HEAD GUARDTwenty pieces. LITTLE BEAR(crying) This cage is too small. DONKEYPlease, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance! OLD WOMANOh, shut up. (jerks his rope) DONKEYOh! HEAD GUARDNext! What have you got? GIPETTOThis little wooden puppet. PINOCCHIOI'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his nose grows) HEAD GUARDFive shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. PINOCCHIOFather, please! Don't let them do this! Help me! Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up to the table. HEAD GUARDNext! What have you got? OLD WOMANWell, I've got a talking donkey. HEAD GUARDRight. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it. OLD WOMANOh, go ahead, little fella. Donkey just looks up at her. HEAD GUARDWell? OLD WOMANOh, oh, he's just...he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt... HEAD GUARDThat's it. I've heard enough. Guards! OLD WOMANNo, no, he talks! He does. (pretends to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw. HEAD GUARDGet her out of my sight. OLD WOMANNo, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and he's able to fly. DONKEYHey! I can fly! PETER PANHe can fly! 3 LITTLE PIGSHe can fly! HEAD GUARDHe can talk! DONKEYHa, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink to the ground.) He hits the ground with a thud. HEAD GUARDSeize him! (Donkey takes of running.) After him! GUARDSHe's getting away! Get him! This way! Turn! Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally. Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He quickly hides behind Shrek. HEAD GUARDYou there. Ogre! SHREKAye? HEAD GUARDBy the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated resettlement facility. SHREKOh, really? You and what army? He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and begins walking back to his cottage. DONKEYCan I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible! SHREKAre you talkin' to...(he turns around and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back around and Donkey is right in front of him.) Whoa! DONKEYYes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back here? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that. SHREKOh, that's great. Really. DONKEYMan, it's good to be free. SHREKNow, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm? DONKEYBut, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us. Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very loudly..

851) SCREAMS OUT OF FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN

852) Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. (laughs) Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of - (toilet flush) Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go after the ogre. NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME MAN1Think it's in there? MAN2All right. Let's get it! MAN1Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? MAN3Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread. Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs. SHREKYes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. MENNo! SHREKThey'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast. MAN1Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! (waves the torch at Shrek.) Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the men are in the dark. SHREKThis is the part where you run away. (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.) And stay out! (looks down and picks up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and throws the paper over his shoulder.) THE NEXT DAYThere is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three little pigs. GUARDAll right. This one's full. Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up! HEAD GUARDNext! GUARD(taking the witch's broom) Give me that! Your flying days are over. (breaks the broom in half) HEAD GUARDThat's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next! GUARDGet up! Come on! HEAD GUARDTwenty pieces. LITTLE BEAR(crying) This cage is too small. DONKEYPlease, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance! OLD WOMANOh, shut up. (jerks his rope) DONKEYOh! HEAD GUARDNext! What have you got? GIPETTOThis little wooden puppet. PINOCCHIOI'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his nose grows) HEAD GUARDFive shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. PINOCCHIOFather, please! Don't let them do this! Help me! Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up to the table. HEAD GUARDNext! What have you got? OLD WOMANWell, I've got a talking donkey. HEAD GUARDRight. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it. OLD WOMANOh, go ahead, little fella. Donkey just looks up at her. HEAD GUARDWell? OLD WOMANOh, oh, he's just...he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt... HEAD GUARDThat's it. I've heard enough. Guards! OLD WOMANNo, no, he talks! He does. (pretends to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw. HEAD GUARDGet her out of my sight. OLD WOMANNo, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and he's able to fly. DONKEYHey! I can fly! PETER PANHe can fly! 3 LITTLE PIGSHe can fly! HEAD GUARDHe can talk! DONKEYHa, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink to the ground.) He hits the ground with a thud. HEAD GUARDSeize him! (Donkey takes of running.) After him! GUARDSHe's getting away! Get him! This way! Turn! Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally. Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He quickly hides behind Shrek. HEAD GUARDYou there. Ogre! SHREKAye? HEAD GUARDBy the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated resettlement facility. SHREKOh, really? You and what army? He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and begins walking back to his cottage. DONKEYCan I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible! SHREKAre you talkin' to...(he turns around and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back around and Donkey is right in front of him.) Whoa! DONKEYYes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back here? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that. SHREKOh, that's great. Really. DONKEYMan, it's good to be free. SHREKNow, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm? DONKEYBut, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us. Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very loudly.." ***

853) jESUS CHRIST ON A CROSS

854) Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. (laughs) Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of - (toilet flush) Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go after the ogre. NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME MAN1Think it's in there? MAN2All right. Let's get it! MAN1Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? MAN3Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread. Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs. SHREKYes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. MENNo! SHREKThey'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast. MAN1Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! (waves the torch at Shrek.) Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the men are in the dark. SHREKThis is the part where you run away. (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.) And stay out! (looks down and picks up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and throws the paper over his shoulder.) THE NEXT DAYThere is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three little pigs. GUARDAll right. This one's full. Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up! HEAD GUARDNext! GUARD(taking the witch's broom) Give me that! Your flying days are over. (breaks the broom in half) HEAD GUARDThat's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next! GUARDGet up! Come on! HEAD GUARDTwenty pieces. LITTLE BEAR(crying) This cage is too small. DONKEYPlease, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance! OLD WOMANOh, shut up. (jerks his rope) DONKEYOh! HEAD GUARDNext! What have you got? �� GIPETTOThis little wooden puppet. PINOCCHIOI'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his nose grows) HEAD GUARDFive shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. PINOCCHIOFather, please! Don't let them do this! Help me! Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up to the table. HEAD GUARDNext! What have you got? OLD WOMANWell, I've got a talking donkey. HEAD GUARDRight. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it. OLD WOMANOh, go ahead, little fella. Donkey just looks up at her. HEAD GUARDWell? OLD WOMANOh, oh, he's just...he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt... HEAD GUARDThat's it. I've heard enough. Guards! OLD WOMANNo, no, he talks! He does. (pretends to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw. HEAD GUARDGet her out of my sight. OLD WOMANNo, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and he's able to fly. DONKEYHey! I can fly! PETER PANHe can fly! 3 LITTLE PIGSHe can fly! HEAD GUARDHe can talk! DONKEYHa, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink to the ground.) He hits the ground with a thud. HEAD GUARDSeize him! (Donkey takes of running.) After him! GUARDSHe's getting away! Get him! This way! Turn! Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally. Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He quickly hides behind Shrek. HEAD GUARDYou there. Ogre! SHREKAye? HEAD GUARDBy the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated resettlement facility. SHREKOh, really? You and what army? He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and begins walking back to his cottage. DONKEYCan I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible! SHREKAre you talkin' to...(he turns around and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back around and Donkey is right in front of him.) Whoa! DONKEYYes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back here? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that. SHREKOh, that's great. Really. DONKEYMan, it's good to be free. SHREKNow, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm? DONKEYBut, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us. Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very loudly..

855) CHAOS IS THE NATURAL STATE OF THE UNIVERSE

856) hannah is ruining amys meme

857) AMES I RUINING BROWN'S GOOGLE DOC

858) Ames how the fuck did I miss that script mess how dare you not keep it

859) my professor is jonathan crane aND I ASKED HIM TO TEACH PSYCHOLOGY NEXT WEEK I HOPE I DIDN'T MAKE A MISTAKE -pyro sea

860) "It's like a cape, but for my legs!" -Hannah, talking about her skirt

861) "You can't just quote me on everything!" -Lexi, 2017

862) 2472

863) canya pawnya yer anya

864) ames is a babe, confirmed

865) Schemer confirmed Two-Face

866) Disco Crane will haunt your dreams

867) Some Katies just want to watch the world burn

868) Schemer is a pure bean

869) Rip Jervi Colony 2k17

870) Dark Leo show us the forbidden pimp oswald

871) COTTON EYE JONNO

872) sameo leo - Ames, definitely

873) S K I N R I M

874) Team Lazarus; The Support group that came out of nowhere

875) Team Lazarus; Support Group

876) Lame Senior Pranks

877) why are cats meow so small

878) GET RIGGETY RIGGETY REKT, SPOOP LORD

879) Team Lazarus, Home of the Mysterious Cryptidrew

880) Green Man Yells at Drop Bears

881) #freethetiddy

882) YELLOW LANTERN DISCO CRANE

883) HE SQUEAK

884) MOTHERFUCKING DUCKLINGS

885) One Gay Family

886) We Are All Shook

887) Everyones moving to Earth 24 to join the JLC sorry

888) LET ME ADOPT UR CATS BROWN OR @ LEAST TELL EM I LOVE EM

889) SEVEN NATION AMY

890) SPLOOTING

891) WHERE'S OS-WALDO

892) Avacado Bears

893) Avacado Bears or Thunder Whales

894) o canada, our home and native land, true patriot love, w fear gas in our hand

895) "It's tiptoe time bicth"

886) "Feels good feels organic"

887) Ralph The Hero We Need But Don't Deserve

888) Team Lazarus Team Mom

889) Ames, this is an intervention

890) When your alter ego calls you daddy 🤔🤔🤔🤔👅?👅?👀👀👀👀👊👊👊💦💦💦¿¿¿¿

891) KNOCK KNOC FUCKERS EGGHEAD IS HERE

892) PROTECT RIDDLER AT ALL COST

893) Episode 3 of Season 9 - Zsasz Accidentally Joins A Cult

894) sppok

895) FUCK FATHER

896) Team Dank Meh-mehs

897) Frying Pan Padre

898) frying pan pa

899) frying pan pad

900) frying pan padre

901) Running Start

902) Media Murderer

903) Nut of the Tree

904) Time to Kinkshame Canada

905) Team Lazarus Contemplate Dating

906) Eleka Nahmen Nahmen Ah Tum Ah Tum Eleka Nahmen

907) ILLUMINABEE CONFIRMED

908) dream daddy has ruined my life.

909) sure thing Brown

910) EGG BABE

911) Dorkham Asylum

912) Just Gods, being Bros

913) take a goddamn bath, Sylvester

914) no

915) the gang

916) "On April 19th, I made bread."

917) Leeroy Jyingkins

918) bllaahhhh

919) #ProtectFemaleCharactersInDraculaAndItsAdaptations2K17

920) And then we see Lindsey screaming because this is so fucking awesome

921) What the heckle deckle did you just diddly done say about me, you little nerd? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Meme Team, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on The Captor, and I have over 3 confirmed riddle solves. I am trained in online research and I’m the top blogger in the entire codot army. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you clean out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my diddly words. You think you can get away with saying that lie to me over the Internet? Think again, meanie. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Team Lazarus and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your riddleS. You’re dead, Hush. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can out meme you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in internrt combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Google and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable hints off the face of the continent, you little twerp. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” kidnapping was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your undank memes.. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you snake. I will rain puns all over you and you will drown in it. You’re dead, you viper.

922) Y'ALL'RE KILLIN' MY POOR PHONE

923) Are we at tittle 1000 yet?

924) Plz watch young pope so i can talk abt it

925) *OFFENDED BAND KID NOISES*

926) *OFFENDED BAND KID NOISES AND CLARINET SQUEAKING*

927) *OFFENDED BAND KID NOISES AND CLARINET SQUEAKING AND SPIT VALVE GURGLING*

928) 'My room smells like fresh linens and Jesus' - My sister, 2k17

929)The question for some fucking Tim Hortons

930) The quest for some fucking Tim Hortons

931) Send a healer to Ames b4 she dies

932) Education Conversion Class

933) Shhhh he's sleeping

934) "Murder probably"

935) orf chumps

936) orc chumps

937) Protect the Orcs, their doing their best

938) Protect the Orc chumps, their doing their best

939) Protect the Orc chumps, they're doing their best

940) Team Lazarus; The Fellowship of the Riddle

941) awkward potato club

942) WORSHIP HIM FOOLS

943) Puzzle Me Like One of You French Boys

944) Puzzle Me Like One of Your French Boys

945) Make Amy the Wine Aunt 2k17

946) The Homeowners Guide to Homicide by Zsasz

947) Fre Sha Vaca Drew

948) all i want is pizza and tea

949) diggy dig

950) rip NON's teeth

951) IT's thE FINAL COUNTDOWNNN

952) Spooky Scary Kaitons

953) Aardvark v Anteater: Battle of the Cute

954) Compromise: Red Panda

955) WOOHOO YEAH EMMA LOOK AT THIS TALENTED BEAN

956) What the fuck are vampire laws?

957) AMES IS A CRYPTID BORN IN A FIELD

958) SHIA SURPRISE

959) TODAY NON WAS BORN

960) Everyone check put Emma's art!

961) Everyone check out Emma's art!

962) We all Love Ames

963) It's The Scarecrow, not The Grim Dino Bunny!!!

964) Let Jon be what he wnats 2k17

965) Jonathan can do better than reaping bunny dinosaur! 2k17

966) If Jonathan wants to be a reaping bunny dinosaur he can

967) Jonathan can't be both the God of Fear and a Reaping Bunny Raptor!

968) LET HIM DREAM

969) THIS AIN'T A DREAM!!!

970) Remember! Reality's an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold!

971) Let's make it 9 closer, shall we!

972) 👀👀👀👀

973) Teacher Ames

974) Hello darkness my old friend

975) 🙏🏼🙏🏼 Bless this mess 🙏🏼🙏🏼

976) Friskuella 4 lyfe

977) Young just ass

978) time for tea

979) Happy Spooptober!

980) Codot is back at it again 👀👀

981) It's October and shit's bout to go down, but I want to scream about DuckTales

982) Update: Ames is as cute as ever! 👌

983) Ames expands her meme kingdom

984) Ames the hallowmeme queen

985) Meme Queen Amemes

986) Jon and Sylv #goals 😍

987) T^T Emma fails Jervis - 10/6

988) Canada is a cult #confirmed

989) Nasty Boys™

990) Celery

991) World War Tea

992) Farmer Ames vs. Poison Ivy

993) Canada is already clean

994) Frisk, liberate us from the assignments

995) I snort the gas so I can pass

996) Brown breaks down over a deleted art folder but by magic gets it back

997) #GiveScarecrowHugs2k17

998) PLEASE SAVE AMY

999) How close are we, Sassy??

1000) Operation recover pom pom

1001) TEAM LAZARUS 1001 NAMES

#CONGRATS YOU GUYS #PROUD OF YOU

8 notes · View notes

jiveammunition · 7 years

Link

Title: I’ve Got You in My Slice - Chapter 5 - The Reaper Comes for Your Rolls!! Pairing: Reaper76 Rating: Teen Tags: Alternate Universe - Bakery, Alternate Universe - Police, Bad Puns, Fluff, Slow Build, Slow Burn Chapter: 5/? Summary:

“Reaper?” he asked.

After 6 months of waiting, here’s an update for you all. Thank you guys for your patience! <3

Surprisingly, despite the impending barrage of holidays, not much had changed in Gabriel's day-to-day life. As usual, he made sure to go back visit his family the day after Halloween to celebrate Dia de los Muertos — bringing abuelo’s favorite brand of mezcal to drink and leave at the family altar, which he also helped with, and staying the night — as well as on Thanksgiving, when the only particular thing of interest that happened was the turkey exploding in the fryer because his brother-in-law — the husband of his oldest sister, Isabela — hadn't thawed it as completely as he originally thought. Thankfully no one had been injured, nothing had burned down, and his second-oldest sister, Carmen, had the forethought of making another turkey ‘just in case’. But nevertheless, the story was interesting and amusing enough to get a few laughs out of Jack when he told it, which made the Thanksgiving migraine worth it in the end, at least.

“What did you do for Thanksgiving? You spend it with your family too?” Gabriel asked when Jack returned to his table with a refill of coffee in his travel mug.

“Oh, no, it's too expensive and too much of a hassle for me to fly back to Indiana for Thanksgiving. Especially when I'm going to be flying back for Christmas anyway,” Jack replied, shaking his head. “I spent most of Thanksgiving at home with Reaper, before I came here to prep for the Black Friday rush.”

It made sense that Jack had the sense to prep and open the bakery to take advantage of Black Friday and all the people that were out getting their shopping on. If Gabriel remembered properly, Jack even had a sign outside the entire week before, announcing the bakery’s special hours on Thanksgiving and the day after. A part of him wondered how well it went, given the nightmare stories he'd heard from some of his fellow officers about needing to assist certain stores with crowd control — Gabriel himself was on patrol that night — and Jack had to change the store's hours to accommodate his morning rushes and allow for midday baking and restocking. How on earth did Jack manage to handle the floods of people no doubt prowling for early-morning munchies and coffee?

But as Jack hadn't looked all that much worse for the wear, and the store opened without incident the next day, Gabriel decided not to ask. He also wondered when Jack would finally get some help with the store, but also kept his mouth shut, knowing it was a rather touchy subject. As open-minded and keen experimenting with things — baking recipes and the like — Jack was surprisingly stubborn.

Instead, he raised an eyebrow and looked at Jack curiously. “Reaper?” he asked.

“Yeah! Reaper!” Jack got up to fetch his phone from behind the counter, and fiddled with it briefly before sitting back down and showing it to Gabriel. There, on the small screen, was a picture — a bathroom selfie, no less — of Jack with a rather peculiar-looking cat, all black save for white markings on its face that made Gabriel think of a bird’s skull. It was kind of spooky looking, to say the least, and though it certainly fit with Gabriel's aesthetics, for some reason the hairs on his neck stood on end and a shiver of something both strange and familiar ran up his spine.

He didn’t dwell on it for too long, and shook it off as much as he could before handing Jack back his phone. “It certainly looks the part, at least. And I should've known you'd name your cat something punny too, given how much you love your jokes. Don't tell me, it's spelled R-E-A-P-U-R-R?”

Jack merely laughed and shook his head. “As amazing as that spelling would be, no, it's not. I wasn't the one that named him.”

“Oh, you adopted him, then?”

“Something like that. You know how there are a lot of strays that like to hang out in the alley behind the store? Reaper showed up in the bunch one night — the day after Halloween, if I remember right — and just kinda… attached himself to me?” Jack shrugged. “I checked his collar to see if he had an owner, but he only had a nametag on him. I checked for a chip too, but he didn't have one of those, either.”

“Still... You sure it's such a good idea to just take in some random stray like that?” Gabriel asked, recalling some horror stories several years back about someone taking in a stray only to learn the hard way after it died suddenly that it also had rabies.

“Yeah! I took him to the vet to get a quick look at him and got him all up-to-date on shots,” Jack nodded, “Plus, Reaper is a really smart — if a little clingy — cat, he follows me to and from the store every day. Even knows how to use the toilet!”

Just as Gabriel was about to comment about how bizarre that last tidbit was, both his and Jack’s attention were drawn to the front door.

As if on cue, a loud but muffled meow was heard from outside, followed by a light scratching at one of the glass panels. Sure enough, there sat the spitting image of the cat from Jack’s picture, staring into the store as if demanding entrance. Its gaze settled onto Gabriel, and after several moments of staring without blinking — Gabriel could swear the cat was glaring at him or sizing him up — it meowed again and slapped a paw onto the glass. It turned its head towards Jack, and gave one last meow before dropping its paw and sat patiently waiting.

“Oh shit, Reaper!” Jack cursed slightly as he got up from his chair, “You’re not supposed to be out front like that!” He opened the door enough for himself to slip outside and not let the cat in, and picked it up when it appeared to meow at him again. It seemed to settle down in Jack’s arms, at least, and if the look on its face and swishing tail were any indication, it was likely purring like a motor as well.

As amusing as it was to watch from inside as Jack bounced slightly in place while petting the cat in his arms, and apparently scolding it, Gabriel couldn’t say no when Jack nodded at him from outside, beckoning him to go outside. Sighing, Gabriel stood up, taking his mug with him and hiding a few bills underneath the empty plate as payment for the food plus a small tip — something he resorted to doing after Jack kept refusing to accept more than half the normal price of his food due to his ‘guinea pig’ status — before going out to meet Jack’s new kinda-sorta-pet-slash-stalker.

“Reaper, say hi to my friend, Gabriel,” Jack said, turning slightly so the cat was facing him. Reaper gave Gabriel the same kind of soul-piercing stare as it did before, watching him silently until Jack gave it a nudging scratch behind the ear. It purred lowly until Jack’s coddling stopped. Almost reluctantly, it meowed in greeting at Gabriel. When Gabriel reached over to give it a pet, however, Reaper lept out of Jack’s arms and darted away, turning the corner to no doubt disappear into the alleyway.

“Guess he’s not a fan of me,” Gabriel shrugged.

“I wouldn't take it personally. He might just be a little catty around strangers,” Jack ribbed.

“You said he follows you around though, right?” Gabriel asked, pretending like Jack hadn't made any pun at all.

“Are you trying to say I'm strange?” Jack huffed, holding a hand to his chest as if Gabriel had hurt his feelings.

“I didn't say anything,” Gabriel snorted, smirking as he took a sip from his travel mug.

“You're hilarious,” Jack replied, crossing his arms. The look of amusement on his face did nothing to help sell how horribly Gabriel's barb had injured him.

“Anyway,” Gabriel began, looking at his watch, “My shift’s about to start. I'll see you tomorrow.”

He took a few steps forward before he felt a tugging on the back of his jacket.

“Sorry. Hold on a sec,” Jack said. He let go of Gabriel and began rummaging in his apron pocket before fishing out a worn, brown leather wallet and holding it out. “This belongs to Officer McCree. He left it here last night. I texted him to ask for his address so I could drop it off, but he told me to just hand it to you. He's on duty today too, right?”

“Yeah, he is,” Gabriel replied, taking the wallet, and opening it up. Sure enough, there was Jesse's ID, the grin on his portrait even goofier than how Gabriel remembered his last ID picture looked. He tucked the wallet in his breast pocket and began to walk off again before he stopped in his tracks. “Wait. Texted ? Why does McCree have your number?”

“He asked me for it?” Jack shrugged, “I told him I wasn't interested, and he's not my type, but he insisted. Said something about wanting it anyway in case I wanted another friend to hang out with that wasn't — and I quote — ‘a grump with a stick-up-his-ass.”

Gabriel tried to school his expression and keep it as neutral as possible, and surprised even himself when he somehow managed it. He let out a short, “Huh,” and took another sip of coffee to gather his thoughts. “I'll have a word with him later, then.”

Jack laughed, and waved his hand dismissively, “Don't tell him I told you he said that!”

“Oh, I'm not gonna talk to him about that,” Gabriel muttered under his breath. When Jack tilted his head in confusion, Gabriel simply shook his head. “Don't worry about it,” he said, giving Jack a quick wave before heading off to the station.

“Oh, okay…” Jack replied, still looking slightly confused as he waved back, “Have a nice day, then!”

Sure enough, when Gabriel got to the station, Jesse was at his desk, typing up something or another on his computer. Gabriel took the wallet from his pocket and tossed onto the desk in front of him, drawing Jesse's attention away from the screen when it thudded gently on the wooden surface between his forearms.

“Oh, hey! You got it! Thanks, boss!” Jesse laughed happily as he tucked the wallet back into his pocket. “Mornin’, by the way!”

“Morning,” Gabriel grunted. He folded his arms and frowned slightly. Unable to help himself, he went on to ask, “Mind telling me why you have Jack's number?”

The grin on Jesse's face grew even wider. “No reason! Just thought the guy could use another friend around these parts, what with him still being new-ish to the neighborhood and all!”

Gabriel tilted his head, expression still unimpressed and looking doubtful.

Jesse laughed, and held his hands up in surrender. “Honest ta god, boss. I was just bein’ friendly! You got nothin’ to worry ‘bout, anyhow. Said he wasn't interested when I first asked.”

Gabriel let out a quiet ‘harrumph’ before he went to his desk. Shrugging off his jacket, he draped it over the back of his chair before he sat down, still clearly displeased. He'd known Jack for several months now and he still didn't have his number. Granted, he stopped by the bakery at least three times a week — down from the four originally; didn't want to come off as a creep, after all — and there was no real need to have Jack's number when they met in person so often, but still...

He was briefly torn out of his foul mood when Lena walked over with a bridal magazine in hand, asking him what he thought about her fiancée’s, Emily’s, choice in wedding gown.

“Oxton, why the hell are you asking me?” Gabriel asked, after realizing he had spent the last several minutes looking over pictures of dresses.

“I figured you'd be able to help us narrow down what would look best with my dress, since you know fabrics and drapings and all,” Lena replied, looking at Gabriel with wide eyes as if the answer were obvious.

“Oxton, I make costumes as a hobby. I don't design dresses or work as a wedding planner! Didn't Emily hire someone to help you guys for this reason?” Gabriel frowned, gathering the various pictures strewn across his desk into a neat pile and handing it back to Lena.

“Yeah, but I also figured since you're the one that's gonna be actin’ as my dad durin’ the ceremony, it'd be nice to get your opinion, at least…” Lena answered in a quiet voice, looking slightly like a kicked puppy. Gabriel pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. He never could stand up against that look.

Still frowning, he flipped through the stack of pictures in his hands again, reorganizing the pile after a bit of quiet deliberation, and holding it back out once again. “The top three would be the ones that flatter Emily's figure and complement your dress the best. Now get back to work before Amari catches me helping you pick out your wedding cake and yells at me for ‘slacking off’,” Gabriel turned to his computer and waved Lena off.

“Thank you!” she chirped happily. “And you don't need to worry about that! Emily and I already narrowed down what kind of cake we want.” She smiled, taking the stack of pictures, and turned to start heading back to her desk when she suddenly jolting in place.

“Oh! That reminds me! I need to text Jack and let him know what time Emily and I will be there for the taste-testing!” she exclaimed in realization, mostly to herself. With a renewed cheer, she quickly zipped off back to her desk, fishing out her phone and tapping away at it with a smile plastered to her face.

Gabriel's bad mood quickly sunk back in. Lena had Jack's number too? That was-!

He took a deep breath and shook his head. It would make sense that the Lena would have Jack’s number if he was to be the one making their wedding cake. Jack wasn't giving out his number to just anyone and everyone.

...everyone but Gabriel, that was.

Things came to a head near the end of his shift when Liao, of all people, offered to text Jack and see if he would be able to make a cake in time for the station's holiday party in two weeks. Why the heck did Liao have Jack's number?! If he recalled correctly, Liao had only ever been to Jack's bakery once, and that was with Gabriel after they had coincidentally run into each other on their day off and during their morning jog. Unless he went there again sometime after, and asked Jack for his number… which dredged up even more questions in Gabriel's already-preoccupied mind.

He left the station that night with the same contemplative frown he had that morning, internally grumbling at how it seemed everyone but him had Jack's number and struggling to figure out the best way to ask without seeming too desperate or forward. He enjoyed Jack's company, and didn't want to ruin their casual friendship just yet. Plus, if Jack were to reject him like he did with Jesse, Gabriel wasn't sure if he'd be able to set foot into For Goodness’ Cake ever again.

Surprisingly, his opportunity to get Jack's number came in a way he never would have expected. When he got home to his apartment, he was met with the sight of an all-too-familiar black-and-white cat lurking outside his window.

“Reaper?! What the heck?!” he scrambled to open the window, quickly and carefully as to not startle the cat to the point where it would fall of the rather small ledge and injure itself. With a tiny huff through its nose, the cat jumped from the opened window into his apartment and skittered off to curl up on his couch.

“Hey, Reaper, this isn't your home. Why are you even here? Why aren't you with Jack? He's gonna be worried sick about you,” Gabriel scolded, and tried to pick Reaper up. He got a hiss and furry slap across the face for his trouble — thankfully Reaper had the courtesy not to let out its claws — and quickly reeled back in shock.

“Shit!” he yelped, “What the hell, Reaper?! Did you come here just to make my day even worse?”

Reaper ignored him, and curled up the same way as it did before, closing its eyes and sleeping. Or pretending to sleep. Gabriel couldn't tell, and to be frank, he couldn't be bothered. He growled under his breath and let the cat be, huffing as he left the living room to shower, make a quick dinner, and head to bed.

To his knowledge, Reaper stayed curled up and asleep on the couch until the very next morning, when it jolted right up at the sound of the apartment door unlocking. Without any sort of prompting, it darted out of the apartment as Gabriel held the door open, and even waited at the bottom of the stairs for him to catch up.

Jack was right, Reaper was a very smart cat. It was almost unsettling how smart it was. As if keenly aware of Gabriel's usual route, it led the way to the bakery, with Gabriel trailing behind it the entire time.

When they finally reached the bakery, sure enough, Jack was outside, as usual, setting up the sign of the day's special bakes. The expression on his face was more contemplative than usual, his brows furrowed and forming a rather obvious line on his forehead. Reaper meowed loudly as it approached Jack, and almost immediately, Jack seemed to cheer up at the sight of Reaper. His expression brightened up even more when his gaze landed on Gabriel, causing Gabriel's heart to skip a beat as it usually did whenever Jack looked at him like that.

Crouching down, Jack held out his arms for Reaper to leap into, catching the clever cat, and spoiling it with affectionate pets and scratches.

“How did this happen?” Jack asked, utterly bewildered. “Reaper didn't follow me home last night or to the bakery this morning, so I was worried sick something might have happened to him!” The way Jack's hands unconsciously continued to spoil the cat with affection didn't escape Gabriel's notice, and he couldn't help the small smile that crept its way onto his face at the look of contentment on Reaper’s face.

“I don't know why or how he even got there, but I found him hanging outside my window last night. Reaper didn't want to seem to want to budge from my couch at all, and I figured since it was so late and you'd already closed and I didn't have your number, I may as well let him stay the night and bring him back here in the morning,” Gabriel shrugged. Reaper opened its eyes to stare at him, as if fully aware of his white lie, and judging him, but Gabriel ignored it in favor of maintaining eye contact with Jack.

“Thank you for doing that. I really appreciate it,” Jack said appreciatively, relief written across his face as clear as day. “Like I said, I was really worried about this little guy. My apartment felt kinda empty without him around.”

“No problem,” Gabriel replied, feeling nervous about what he wanted to say next.

After a few moments, he swallowed the lump in his throat and gathered enough nerves to finally ask, “Um, in case this happens again, do you have any way for me to contact you? Like a phone number or something?” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, terrified that Jack might jump to the conclusion he catnapped Reaper just to get the chance to ask for Jack’s number.

“Oh, yeah, sure!” Jack beamed. “Let's head inside so I can get yours too!” He crouched back down to let Reaper down, and with a quiet meow, the cat dropped from his arms and scampered away, slapping Gabriel's leg with its tail as it passed. ‘ You owe me for this,’ it almost seemed to say, and Gabriel inwardly thanked the cat for the setup.

“Sure,” Gabriel replied, trying to control the grin beginning to form on his face, and fighting the urge to pump his fist in triumph. He was going to get Jack's number, and he managed to ask without making things awkward or a fool out of himself! The urge did overtake him before he was able to make it through the front door, and with a quiet, “Yes!”, Gabriel did a small fist pump when Jack disappeared into the bathroom to wash his hands and likely dust off whatever cat hair Reaper shed on his clothes. Gabriel would later attempt to do the same to his couch when he returned home that night, only to be utterly surprised to find not a single cat hair anywhere in his apartment.

“Did you say something?” Jack asked as he exited the bathroom, tossing away the paper towel in his hands before the door swung closed behind him.

“No, nothing,” Gabriel replied, shaking his head.

Jack shot him a quick look of confused amusement before fetching his phone. He unlocked it and set it on the counter.

“I can never remember what my number is, so could you punch in yours and call yourself while I get this bread out of the oven? They're the prosciutto, cheese, and balsamic onion ones you tasted the last week and said you really liked. I figured I'd roll them out this week and see how popular they are.”

“Sure,” Gabriel answered, ignoring the pun completely. He focused his attention onto Jack’s phone, doing exactly what was asked of him as Jack disappeared behind the swinging steel door. He could almost feel his heart racing slightly when entering in his number, and when his own phone rang, it figuratively soared into the stratosphere.

Finally getting Jack's number put his spirit in such a good mood that day that he couldn't even find it in himself to get angry when he got to his desk and he discovered Jack snuck two extra rolls into his bag. Nor did he even bat an eye when Jesse approached him at his desk, and handed Gabriel $5. “Jack said you dropped this in his store yesterday. It's not like you to be so clumsy, boss,” Jesse scolded playfully before walking off.

Gabriel would just get Jack again next time.

#reaper76 #jack morrison #gabriel reyes #soldier 76 #reaper #jive writes stuff #jive fic: i've got you in my slice

118 notes · View notes