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#i have had brand new key stuck in my head for like five days lmao
anatomical-puppet · 14 days
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i’ve got a brand new pair of roller skates, you’ve got a brand new key 🛼🔑
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session 12 notes
one day . one day i swear i will fix this formatting but today is not that day
Lol late is my brand
Let's go
The halflings can stack up under a trench coat
Adam has disguise self
Aerana and asyna don't need to do anything kinda
Now we're talking abt the road to el dorado
We just killed loser boy
Kenku got info from adam, cel and theo
What are we doing lmao
Adam is jiggling the small room's door and we go inside the room
Inside looks like an office, shelf w pickled body parts + cataloguing what the parts r and what they do
They were running away lmao ok
Yes we're still salty about this
"different interpretations of charm person" - jacob, 2020
Body part stuff
No halfling writing system in waterdeep
Dwarf toes, elven ears
Magic items ? Cel rolls perception 22
Weird jar w dull amber colored liquid, don't know if it's magical but noticed; unlabeled
"the jar of necrotic pee" - jacob, 2020
Smells like aloe
Adam smells his fire-resistant potion and it smells more like burnt ash
Smth else cel found has strange engravings
Just looks like metal bar
Boxy squarish iron bar abt the size of a halfling; it's strong but surprisingly light
Adam picks it up and hits a wall w it
Adam rolls for attack, 4
Nothing rlly happens
Makes a ringing sound
None of us can read giant
Looks rlly strange, written in blocky linear runes
A few things on it that stick out like engravings of ppl
Big bearded humanoids but small and fine so difficult to make out
Adam rolled 17 for investigation through files
Some stuff related to running wig shop; shop was at least somewhat a legitimate business
Notes abt billing for criminal organizations and guilds
Some ref to meeting w xant middlemen who would collect bodies
Names
Noska
Hired gorrick to track us down ??
N ?????
Adam looking for a key in the desk, doesn't find it
Head to the chest, adam tries to open
Not locked
A bunch of teeth
It's a mimic, adam has to roll damage
Adam is hit
Adam takes 10 damage
We're looking at diff things around the room and then hear a screech of pain as adam gets bitten
Slams down on adam's hand and four little eyes pop up and stare as it eats adam's hand
Mimic takes 9 damage as adam explodes
Cel shoots an arrow into the eye
22 to hit, 8 damage
Adam uses cutting words
-1d6
"hey fuck"
Adam could try to pull his hands away
Adam pulls his hands out
Adam bends down to it and takes a ration out of his backpack
"dom I'm gonna bend down to it"
The chest has closed back
Adam is going to throw rations instead, dex check
13; doesn't open so adam drops food on its head
Chest sits there looking at adam and eventually out of the side of the chest a weird stretchy amoeba-like arm comes out of it, takes the food and throws it in its mouth
"who's a good boy ? Who's a good boy !! Who's a good chest !!" adam, 2020
Adam takes out all his five rations and makes a trail leading out of the room
Chomper ? Maybe
It looks uninterested and its eyes have shut
Looks exactly like a chest now and hasn't moved; still has an arrow but just looks like a normal chest
It's a small chest that's pickuppable
Adam wants to walk his chest
Adam casts sleep on the chest
7d8s
27hp
When adam casts sleep the chest doesn't move, adam rolls perception 5
Adam tries to pick it up from behind v carefully from the bottom
It's kinda stuck to the floor and the wall; doesn't appear willing to budge
Asyna is still ape!asyna
Tries picking it up from behind like adam
Rolls a 6; won't move
One of its creepy tendrils sticks out and hits ape!asyna
10 bludgeoning damage; ape!asyna basically got slapped but now stuck to the chest
It's kind of loose now
Ape!asyna rolls a 20 and yanks it off the wall, now just dangling off asyna's arm and it's heavier than asyna thought it was
Feels dense
Adam is gonna try and tie its mouth shut
"he kinda starts flailing around a bit" dom, 2020
"aw he likes his new leash" jacob, 2020
Jacob gets hit again
Ape!asyna is gonna try and pull it off, 17 and gets off
Large clump of fur comes off and it's painful
adam "I'm going to try and use centrifugal force to swing it over my head"
"make a strength check" dom, 2020
Rolls 17
Slams it on desk, doesn't let go, nature check adam has no idea what it is
At some point the chest drops off, we stand back and adam casts shatter
11 damage
Chest kind of melts into the floor almost like it deflated, starts snaking way across room until it finds a hole and slithers up and disappears
"fuck you too chompi" adam 2020
Where it dissolves is 20 gold
"n I c e . That was worth the four spell slots" adam, 2020
Adam disguises self and turns into his dad
Adam is a tiefling
Dad is not a tiefling
Taller, dark black hair but not curly, short on the sides + floof forward
Looks more confident than adam
Same freckles
No one knew adam had freckles
Look p similar overall
Sounds the same as adam when he talks
He's a human
We don't know it's adam's dad
"a real dilf" dom, 2020, about adam's dad
"not like your REAL DAD, JACOB, JESUS" dom, 2020
Now we don't have time to unpack ALL OF THAT
Gonna find a hotel or smth
Except gotta disguise selves first
In the wig shop there is any wig u could possibly desire
Some mounted beards
Can't tell if any of the wigs r magical
I don't haAve magicccc :(
Adam puts a blonde wig on the ape
I thought asyna un-aped
Asyna un-apes and disguises self as asyna
Theo takes a long brunette wig w a braid down the back
Cel wants to pretend to be adam's child
Gets a curly dark hair wig
Hammer pants
Cel theo and adam all have freckles
It's nighttime springtime in waterdeep; it's raining
Trades ward going to find a hotel
Avoid own houses for awhile
Going to nearest inn
Let's go to the yawning portal
It is an inn not just a bar
Typ is in fact in the trades ward
One room as the father and two daughters and one room as lesbian elves
Durnan's downstairs and is friends w mirt
We head over to typ
This ward is busier than others we've seen at this time of night
Walk over to side entrance of typ
It never shuts down; always ppl here
Familiar warmth as we approach
Bard competition
Ppl placing bets, drinking, sitting in booths
The rooms r upstairs
Adam calls himself lysander
"a room for me and my daughters"
They get a room on the third story
Room on the third floor
We rendezvous in adam's room
We hear a scream echo out from the well
Adam has two plans
One includes his pants
The pants plan is we track down the dude w the pants
Second includes him singing, waiting to get mugged by the zants
Get mercenary help ?
Pants is plan c
Durnan is plan a
Cel is portia
Theo is lavinia
The doors lock
Long rest? Long rest maybe later
Adam and cel go up to one of the goliaths
"hey there big friend"
He looks like a well-read person
Takes out honey and asks him if he knows what it is
O it's honey
"well there r means of finding this out . For a price"
How much per item - FIVE GOLD
Adam hands him 10 gold and the big rod
"this is a jar of ointment that was first created by the wizard kyogton" I have no idea what that wizard's name is but that's what it sounded like
A dose can be swallowed or applied to the skin and in addition to healing and rejuvenating health, any poison or disease it may have is instantaneously cured
Can't tell how many doses in it
It's v expensive, v rare
Now the stick and he looks uber interested in it
"hm , where did you find this"
"my dad's attic ,,, he's a hoarder"
"let's make a deception check with a capital d"
Nat 1
Adam tells this guy the whole thing and the guy nods
"this is a valuable piece . Would you be interested in parting with it"
Cloud giants made them so their servants could help them build their castles
It's an immovable rod
Writing speaks of ancient cloud giants that were war-inclined
Flat button on the end of it
He sticks it out into the air and presses the button; when he takes his hand away, the rod doesn't fall and it stays floating in the air
Adam grabs onto it but he can't move it
Anybody can push the button tho
Adam asks what the goliath is offering
Offers us 5,000 gold
Adam gets his name - woetheir ????
Woetheir frequents typ when he's here
They're going on a quest; were asked by the open lord to complete a task on the isle of chault
Adam's gonna go to bed
Cel's gonna take a bath
We take long rest
Durnan time
Adam gives durnan a quick rundown of what happened
"ayo what's poppin durnan long time no see my guy"
It's morning it's 9ish breakfast time
Doesn't give any indication whether or not he recognizes them
Adam asks for scrambled eggs and bacon
Adam's asking if he knows anything abt the xants
Theo asks durnan if there's somewhere more secluded they can talk
Gestures to one of the booths and theo cel adam go over
They're uh . Telling durnan everything p much
He has look of passive disinterest but slightly less disinterest the more of the story they tell
"how is mirt?"
"he has renaer and floon"
"he's let himself go"
The xants r v powerful; leadership inscrutable even to open lord herself
Prior, durnan didn't care abt open lord
Guesses whoever obtains the stone would b hunted by the city which could b problematic
Half a million gold dragons
Could get help outside the city ? Roots go deep but do not extend outwards
Flee or contact city officials
"I think theo has a crush on him" adam, 2020
Stone is likely being taken or was already taken to guild hq
We could bust into hq but probs bad idea
Durnan says he's sure anyone could break into xants hq
Lmao durnan sounds so weighed down by life
Every now and then he looks over to well
Durnan is basically saying friendship is magic
The xants don't often come to typ and don't draw swords there
They fear it and durnan
"what's the hole?" adam rolls for insight, dirty 20
Odd expression comes across durnan's face
Mixture of disgust and longing
Uh … disgust and longing … for a hole? Ok durnan
We don't have to talk abt that I guess
Cel asks durnan to send a message to mirt to let him know we're safe but probs not gonna see him for awhile
Apparently the xants aren't too particular abt their henchmen
He says ask the barkeep abt it
Passive perception
At some point durnan leaves and right as theo says that we hear a loud thump and someone says "cripes"
Jones ?
Cel looks under the table and there's jones
Cel drags him out
Theo has a new idea "hey guys let's not go through with using adam as bait yet"
Adam looks down at the goblin and threatens to make him deaf
Plan d is to eat jones
We take jones upstairs
Theo explains her new plan
If the stone is already at their hq
We go to them
Jones doesn't mess w the xants
Why is jones rhyming
What r we talking abt lmao oops I was looking at primary results
I'M SCREAMING I DIDN'T KNOW GOODSPACEGUY WAS 81
No one has asked us for info abt the stone ?
Lmao is this like @me abt what's his name
Jb nevercaught ???? Jp nevercaught ?????? Idk who he is
What's our goal
We gotta figure out what we wanna do ig
We just wanna know where the xants r otherwise we duct tape his mouth and tie him up
"consider it stroked and very, very much needed" jones, 2020
To the dock ward in a wrecked whale oh the wrecked whale
"not the erect whale" cel, 2020 ????
There's a knock at the door
There's no peephole
Asyna asks "who is it"
HAHAHHAHAHA
MARGUERITE LMAO
"uh I work at the bar downstairs uh durnan had some - he wanted to speak to the drow"
I'm screwed
He has page hat on
"first durnan said we could stay as long as we'd like"
And he was offered money by this guy to speak to me
There's an elven man w v long and stringy hair, pointed nose and pointy ears
Looks rlly skinny and physically weak
Looking over scrolls
"guess who"
What the fuck
Nareel ??? naREEL????? WHO THE FUCK IS NAREEL???????
I don't kNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING !!!!!!
The stone fascinates him
Offering us partial membership
Occasional encouragement to go on various missions
He has resources
Treasure and gold involved, but not for the weak-willed
Offering 500 gold for completion of a task
They have captured a high-ranking member of the xants and tried to get info of him
More resilient than they thought he would be
They need him back in three days
Is this a roast session ???? Of aerana ???? When she dips to hang out with the other guy ???????
They're trying to figure out who her friend is
Jones wanted to be a painter
Adam is offering to have jones join us to maybe kill him??????
If he wants gold he has to go get it
They'll keep
"I'm gonna fill your goody bag real good so you better keep your mouth shut" adam, 2020 to jones
Oh god I'm such an avoidant lmao
Oh god I don't
"these conversations will become more difficult as things become more difficult but I think for now that went as well as it could have possibly gone"
"you will find him in your basement"
wHICH BASEMENT
We're gonna go home
To the north ward we go
You go to the basement
The ropes look kinda weird
He's not tied with rope
They're metal bands looped around him
Metal bindings
Doesn't look like he's gonna get out of it
Adam and cel don't see anything out of the ordinary but have noticed things moved around a little bit
Dwarf w dark brown skin, white/gray beard, looks roughed up - not injured, just worse for wear
Adam has him make a wisdom saving throw
Adam charms him
Approaches him first
Adam starts massaging his shoulders
Jfdkaslfha then takes the gag off
"are you here to let me out?" the dwarf
"even better I'm here to spend some quality time with you" adam, 2020
Says he has to get back to the master
Master silgar must be fed
His sacred duty is to feed master silgar
Master silgar has a shimmering son what
"Shakes the oceans with a swish of his body"
In the beginning there was xanathar and then he said silgar should be the one they care for until the seas rise and destroy the city
Controls the eye of the xanathar as the eye of the xanathar control him
His name is ot stillgeer
Adam says his name is cain
Blasphemy for adam to propose bringing lord silgar to him
Lord silgar lives in a great temple
He's the high priest of silgar
We're telling him it's our summer home
Adam winks at everyone and we go upstairs
Adam casts second-level sleep on him
44hp puts him to sleep
Adam is gonna disguise-self a beard when the dwarf next wakes up
Stage it so it looks like he had been there for a month
Everyone changes their clothes
Tally marks on the wall
It's like late afternoon at this time
Adam tells him he woke up after 79 days, rolls for deception
Rolls a 24
Looks over and says "79 days"
"am I dead"
"no but the xanathar want you dead"
"I'm free"
23 for deception
Lord silgar is a fish? A fish ? A goldfish
Lord xanathar loves his goldfish more than anything
Ot has to replace the fish
19 mans is telling the truth
Not really any sign we're being watched when cel rolls for perception
We watch ot, take turns resting and surveilling our own house
Night comes
When asyna is on watch in the tower
Sees figures start making way across street to our house
6 humanoids start trying to break into the house
Glass shatters as one goes through a window
The tapestry was lord silgar
The goldfish has no connection to the koi fish asyna spoke to
Two objectives?
Find the stone
Or control the xanathar w a fish
The stone is a map to half a million gold
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