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crazilust · 11 days

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What main character energy should you embody for this next chapter

From left to right : Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3.

Pile 1

confirmation/what’s coming instinctively : Brown eyes, brown, guitar, vynils, green shoes, docs, bangs, rings (lots of them, Virgo/Earth energy, hardwood floors, The Emperor, Goddess energy, Water sign, Water dom, Loves water, loves nature, loves animals, Names that start with a J, F, P, S

the message :

You should embody the main character that moves out of her town to start her character ark. Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll physicall leave your town (although, you might!) but you definitely need to leave some things behind. I’m sensing friends, maybe even family members. Your environement is getting too small for you, which is maybe why I’m getting small town vibes. You are someone that needs a lot of recognition, even from yourself and you’re not getting any where you are right now. Are you proud of yourself? I doubt it. But you need to make the proper steps to find your place in this universe and there is a place for you but you need to look for it! I see you in a new apartment, maybe a bit lonely at first, but it’s because it’ll be the first time you really get to know yourself and discovering your true self. You have been repressing your true taste, your true interests, your true self with those people you’ve been surrounding yourself with. It’s not healthy and it’s getting dangerous at this point cause you’re starting to lose yourself. Leave. That would be my advice for you.

Pile 2

confirmation/ what i’m getting instinctively: Fighter, Orange is the new black, Piper Chapman, Blue, Glacier, Grey, long hair, fake smile, dimples, the emperor Reversed, bad relationships with caregivers, siblings, many friends, Aquarius, Pisces, car, driving, roadtrip, name that starts with M, N, X, V.

the message :

Woah! Okay! Love this energy, but hard to catch honestly. You don’t like being seen, huh? It’s okay, me neither! The journey you should embark on is the one where you’re gonna get thrown into an environment that is completely unfamiliar to you. A bit like pile 1 in the sense that it’s not something you’re used to, but contrary to that pile, you don’t decide to go into this environment, you’ll get thrown into it. I can sense you have some sort of anger issues and this will be the perfect environment to finally let it out. I can feel that although you have a very polished appearance, you actually feel like a wild animal inside. In this new environment, you’ll finally face yourself as you really are. You won’t be able to fake it, or to act like you’ve always done it. It won’t be possible anymore. You’ll have to be your real self, even tho it might disappoint people around you. Oh, you probably don’t want that. Too bad, because you will disappoint people, but you’ll make some real connections out there. When you’ll get out of that environment (because yes, it is temporary I feel), you’ll look back and won’t even recognize yourself. I think you’re quite excited for that. Deep down.

Pile 3

confirmation/what i’m getting instinctively: Twilight, Bella Swan, break up, torture, painful love, toxic love, mean, smiles with bad intentions, agenda, skinny, long hands, pale (or pale for your ethnicity), doesn’t like their hair, Aries/Taurus/Sag/Pisces, Fire dom, Neptune dom, Jupiter Dom, lucky but fails to see it

the message : Oh I’m getting major Bella Swan vibes lmao. Not necessarily her temperament, but mostly what she’s going thru. You’ve been thru a bad breakup and that person has left you empty inside. You find yourself staring at the window, and wondering why it ended the way it did. Stop obsessing over the past. You’re at a point of your journey where you need to change gear. You cannot keep going like that or you’ll litteraly become a shell of yourself. Get up of your bed, take a deep breath, take a walk. Anything. But reminiscing on someone that is gone, won’t do any good. Btw, they’re gone now but they’ll come back. I know you’re excited, but they’ll come back when you won’t care and then you’ll be like : “huh, i don’t even see what I saw in you anymore”. It’ll be a very satisfying feeling for you. In the meantime, cause you’re not there yet, focus on healing. See some friends, get into a hobby. Anything that could take your mind off of him. Why do you fixate over him? Was he something he did? Or didn’t do? Focus on moving on. That’s your journey for now. That’s the part of movie where we all root and get excited for the protagonist to get on her two feet. That’s your part. You got this.

• 🧡🍯👑🐰🪀 •

and that’s all from me folks, thank you so much 🧡

#tarot tips #tarot spread #free tarot reading #free tarot #pac reading #pick a pile reading #tarot pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a pile #tarot spreads #daily tarot #tarot reading #tarot witch #astro community #astrology #astrology observations #astro notes #astrology notes #birth chart

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fabulouslygaybean · 2 years

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god. im scared

#realizing that i lost all of my teen years to trauma and bullshit like that. and that it forced me to be an adult way sooner than i -#- should have needed to be.#im turning 17 in a whopping 13 days and just. im terrified. like genuinely scared.#my family is having a lot of financial issues rn and im probably gonna have to pick up another job to help my mom make ends meet #and i think she wants me out of the house by the time i turn 18 so i gotta hurry.#idk how the fuck im gonna find a job where i can make enough money to help my mom while also letting me save up for an apartment while -#- also helping me cover all of my own costs BEFORE i turn 18. so food and medical stuff and clothes and such. while also having enough -#- time and energy to balance my final two years of high school AND somehow have a social life on top of that #i dont know how the hell im gonna pull it off. i dont feel like an adult but i have to be one already so i just gotta figure it out i guess #ive already lost the rest of my teen years. i shouldn't be sad about losing the last few. i don't have time to mourn.#my mom keeps saying that i need to stop stressing out bc its my birthday but like. the problem is my birthday.#sigh. i should be happy this month. im turning 17! im going to riot fest! i like most of my teachers this year! i have a bit of freedom!#but i don't feel happy. im just violently reminded that time has passed way too quickly and that im running out of time for everything.#im also violently reminded that i very much do not feel like an adult. even though it's only a little over a year till im 18.#i still watch cartoons and buy stuffed animals and have sleepovers with friends where we gossip about school and make pony bead bracelets #i cover my notebooks with stickers and laugh at immature jokes and have glow in the dark stickers on my bedroom ceiling #just. idk. i keep trying to catch up for lost time but i just have to keep rushing foward faster than i can handle. its weird.#sorry to post disappointing shit. im just tired and my body hurts and im stressed and scared and sad. nothing's going right.#in better news. after i get a job to pay for it i can apparently get a birth control prescription without parental consent in my state #i might finally be able to escape from my debilitating monthly pain! ill be able to function!!#im also gonna be getting myself a lowkey ugly rottmnt birthday cake from a grocery store because its my birthday and i can do what i want #so im still stressed and scared but ill have a day with friends where we can play games and do stupid shit and act like teenagers i guess #it'll be nice :')

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danibeanie · 4 months

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your gonna remember me

Astrology observations (synastry)

the wounded healer chiron😋

-people you have chiron synastry are usually people that your never gonna forget. Wether it be a good or bad ending there is always gonna be a hidden feeling of what ifs between the 2.

Moon conjunct Chiron synastry = hidden feelings of confession we both feel something for each other but it just can’t happen. (1st BOY I REALLY liked and I just knew he liked me 2 but he was leaving for college out of state and we both knew it wasn’t gonna happen)

Mercury conjunct Chiron synastry=hurt through the topic of communication.usually didn’t care to communicate. (2nd boy that hurt me with not caring to fix things on how they went down.. all he had to do is apologize.)

Where your Chiron is also depends on how this synastry play out- for me this synastry occurs in my 9th house which rules travel and school… how this occurred for me was one person is always leaving wether it be graduating school and going their separate ways or getting a scholarship and leaving the state meaning I CANT SEE THEM😍

Saturn synastry oh boy.

-a man usually has his saturn conjuncting my planets and while it is good for long term it’s also hard if you don’t have any saturn aspects in your chart or saturn energy in general. Your gonna feel a bit trapped and they’ll probably remind you of your parents somehow lmao.

There’s always a age difference in this synastry wether it be 2 years ,4, or even 1 the Saturn person will want to commit to you and will feel the need to stick by you. Way stronger if they have Capricorn or Aquarius placements.

These people are usually karmic (Saturn ruling karma) and these people just come into your life outta nowhere 😭 mostly needed.

natal venus retrograde rant :/

-It’s so hard having this in your chart because every person you’ve ever had a bond with or romantic partnership will always affect you WAY MORE than it should. we take relationships to the extreme and it’s so easy to get disappointed from people that don’t reciprocate how much we give and give. I’ve learned that the hard way and so many call us guarded and bit cold but just know it’s cause of past hurt. LITERALLY PAST HURT 😭.

NN synastry

-NOW THIS ONE… I had my Venus conjunct a guys north node and it felt so free and easy going yet terrifying and a bit uncomfortable. The north node is what we’re trying to learn in this life and people that put planets in it usually give a lesson to learn built off of the planet. in this case I had a relationship (Venus)with NN and it didn’t last long, we both got hurt in the end but I know that this was meant to happen AS A LESSON. I felt like the best version of myself and you can just be yourself. The nn perosn had a HUGE crush on me and u can feel the pure admiration from the nn🥲

I’ve been in both sides b4 and I have a man’s Venus conjunct my nn rn and I just wanna give and give to him. His Venus falls into my 12th house where this conjunction occurs but it’s also unconditional support and It’s a bond-like no other.

The planet person and any axis points that conjunction another north node will always help you in your path. Neither will forget but the nn person will always be thankful for the planet person for pushing them to where they are now.

In conjunction synastry😀

-you know that saying opposites attract well yeah this is literally OPPOSITES ATTRACT. When you date someone you have inconjunction with *cough *cough (gemini and capricorn) it can give u a doozy. I can literally write essays about this dynamic but I’ll keep it short and sweet. If you ever get into a relationship with someone that has Inconjunction with most of your planets and add this with 4th house and 8th house synastry…. Its something both of you will learn from. You’ll think back at this relationship and be like wow I dated him?!?😭

some background info I was a senior in highschool and even though I knew people I wasn’t super popular like at all lmao. this guy that was known to be a huge player and just super attractive had a huge crush on me since forever. We ended up dating and that was my 1st ever thing with anyone and let’s just say I got hurt obviously but I left. So many people questioned this relationship “she’s so nice” and “he’s so cocky” well yeah. It’s just 2 different people that are attracted to each other but just think too differently to make it work.

What makes this so strong is that we both really don’t know how this person acts. It’s like with opposition even though their opposites there’s similar traits. Inconjunction just screams going into a job you’ve never worked at and just learning everything on the spot.😭

8th house synastry

If a man’s planets fall into your 8th house just know that they want u so bad. LMAO JK no but actually they want to know everything about you and the attraction is off the charts with this one. - the boy from earlier had his sun in my 8th house and the tension between us was something I never felt b4. I felt uncomfortable and rushed. He was shining light on this relationship he wanted with me and I felt like he could see right thru me. (I have Pluto in the 8th house so I felt like my boundaries where even higher.) if you’ve never interacted with your 8th house sign your either gonna make the worst enemies of them or the bestest friends. 8th house also rules 1st when it comes to anything sexual. He was my 1st kiss

I have so much more to say but I’ll save it for another post and thank you guys for the likes on my last post!😙💘

#astrology content #astro observations #astro community #synastry #saturn #north node #8th house #4th house

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adventuringblind · 4 months

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Rest

Norlestappen X Reader

Genre: hurt/comfort, fluff

Summary: Reader is struggling badly with a flair up but doesn't want to admit it.

Warnings: unspecified chronic illness, collapsing in exhaustion, worried boyfriends

Notes: another Nonny request!! Love this one so much! (Comments feed my praise kink and give me motivation to write... if anyone was wondering...)

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

The heat had been driving her insane. Qatar is a nightmare. It's so humid that it's difficult to breathe.

Her body despises the heat. It pulls every ounce of energy from her system. Make the pain soar to ungodly levels.

But she's not the one racing.

Max, Lando, and Charles are the ones racing. It's not fair to them that she needs their help when they have to endure whatever hell this is in a death machine for two hours.

She forces her mask back on and pretends she's fine despite her protesting body.

She checks on Charles first. Max and Lando are on the podium, so it gives her some time to see that he's alright.

Which, truth be told - he doesn't look. He's drenched in sweat mixed with cold water. He's panting and trying to peel off his fireproofs.

"Charlie? Are you okay?" She peeks her around the corner, and he shakes his head no.

She helps him get out of the drenched clothing and into a shower. Her phone buzzes violently in her pocket as Charles steps out. She kisses his cheek and dips out to see Lando, the culprit of calling her non-stop.

She drags her body to McLaren. Aching bones won't give her any reprieve as she walks. The heat is unbearable, smothering her mind in a deep fog she can't escape.

The McLaren staff barely bat an eye in her direction. Most give her pitiful looks, probably whispering about how she looks like a zombie.

She'll rest later. Her boys need her right now.

She taps Lando's door with her knuckles. He looks bright-eyed when she opens it. Smells of champagne sweat nearly knock her over. She has to bite back a gag.

Instead, she returns his smile and throws herself at him. "I'm proud of you!"

"Was a good race, wasn't it? A but jealous of Osc and proud at the same time."

She hums and closes the door behind her. Immediately going back to draping herself over the Brit. Effectively using him to help keep her upright.

"Are you alright, love? You look a bit out of it..."

"I'm fine, Lan, just been a long day, is all. Had a lot of cheering to do, you know!"

Lando manages to run around the small room, tugging off his wet clothes, rinsing his hair, and throwing on his team kit.

She grabs something to style his hair with, Lando will be in shambles later if he sees his hair looking wrecked.

She swears they both almost fall asleep to the repetitive movments. A small intimate thing shared between the two of them.

A much louder knock then her earlier one hits their ears, startling the two out of whatever trance they’re in. “Lando! You’ve got interviews to do!”

The Brit groans in disappointment, but gets up regardless. “Thank you, love.” He leans down to where she is still sitting and kisses her forehead. “Will you be alright?”

“I’m going to see Max next, I already saw Charlie.” She throws him a reassuring look. “I’ll be okay, promise.” She even holds out her pinky finger for him to wrap his own around.

That promise, however, is getting harder and harder to keep as she drags her weary bones to Max. Her body is screaming at her to stop moving, find somewhere to sleep for a couple of years before it goes back to making life difficult.

She shakes her head. No, she wasn’t the one driving in the hell today. She can wait until her partners are squared away.

Max greets her outside of the energy station. His face drops when he sees her. Her smile, although genuinely happy, is lopsided. Even the muscles that show her happiness are tired. That should be a red flag, but she continues forward.

Her and Max make their way to his drivers room. His arm wrapped around her waist in much ended comfort and support. She hopes he hasn’t caught on to the way she’s leaning into him to keep herself up.

they flop onto the couch together. “Lando told me you were on your way. He’s a bit worried about you.”

“I told him I’m alright, I promise. The heat is just difficult.”

“Tell me about it.” Max rolls his eyes.

Max’s presence and her comfortable position on the couch do nothing to help her fatigue. The drowsiness is slowly taking hold and she’s not sure how long she can hold it off for.

“You can sleep now, I’ll be here when you wake up.”

She hadn’t even noticed she was asleep, slumped against Max’s body. Not until she cracks her eyes open and sees her lovers laying spread out across the room.

Ice packs are strewn across their bodies. Lando is drooling on Charles’ chest, Max has a hand dangling of the side of the sofa that looks like it was previously in charles’ hair, and Charles is sleeping with his body sitting upright.

She wants to giggle at the sight. They all look comfortable despite the chaotic positioning.

Her body moves on its own accord. the ice packs should be refrozen and she might be able to get her hands on some new ones while she’s at it.

She gets nowhere as Max’s arm wraps around her, pulling her back down on top of him. Lando and Charles stir awake from all the movement.

“Nice try, but you’re not going anywhere.”

She pouts at Max. “But I’m fine now. Just needed a nap, is all.”

Charles turns enough so that both him and Lando are able to see her, even if it’s not well. “The circles under your eyes say otherwise.’ He reaches up to hold her hand. “Thank you for taking care of us, but now it’s your turn.”

She would probably be crying s she had the energy to. The compassion they all have for her, even when she lacks it herself. It’s overwhelming at times. especially when she feels undeserving, like she hasn’t earned it.

Lando shimmies his way out of Charles’ hold and fixes himself. His arm coming up to wipe away the trail of drool. “Now that we’re all awake, I’ve tasked Oscar with bringing us popsicles, anybody want ‘em?”

A course of happy cheers fills the room at the mention of a cold treat.

Her smile doesn’t feel tired this time.

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asstrolo · 6 months

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How Is Your Future Partner Like (Intuitive Reading)

midnights version!! Because I looooooove bluuuuue. This is an intuitive reading, meaning it's not based on tarot but on my own intuition and channeled messages. If this doesn't resonate with you it's ok, this is just for entertainment purpose.

pick a picture or a number very wisely because duh

pile 1 pile 2

pile 3 pile 4

pile one.

Hello pile one, for you I feel this strong sense of responsibility and duty towards your family or your job or studies and I can see you are a disciplined person or are used to taking care of things on your own. I know this should be about your partner but this is the vibe I'm getting from you right now. A lot of pressure for you for sure and you might be a romantic person that is too busy or too stressed to think of meeting people and stuff, you find social situations a little bit tedious too.

Your future partner might be somebody who is just as disciplined as you but they don't feel the overwhelming weight of disappointing people like you might feel. This is a person who takes care of their mental health as much as possible because they know that they won't be able to do a good job if they are stressed or tired, they are very responsible and might have been raised in a more laid-back household so they can allow themselves rest when is needed, or try to do the best for themselves mentally to be good at anything they have to be good at. Your future partner is someone who's charismatic but solitary, they try to present themselves as well put as they can because they like to show off and to look nice, this is someone who understands that looking good is an advantage. I see they're very ambitious and extremely individualistic, their sense of humor is very bizarre and they might do it on purpose to shock people or see what they'd do, this person is actually quite shy and doesn't like being surrounded with people for too long. When you two meet you'll probably won't like them, or feel a magnetic attraction to them that's almost inexplicable as you might think this person isn't your type, they will be attracted to you the second they see you. You two could be colleagues or friends or know each other but the relationship is never close until one day something just clicks. They will be fascinated by you and look up to you too, like they see a role model and a partner, they will feel very protective of you as well, you will feel very seen and appreciated by this person because they'll wanna listen to you and they rarely want to listen to people talk about themselves.

you or them might have these on their birtchart or synastry: Taurus Sun/Ascendant BIG Taurus energy so might be Taurus Stellium, 6th/7th house Synastry, Cancer Sun/Stellium, Water Moon, 11th house Stellium, Sun in 11th house, Aquarius Ascendant, Saturn-Venus Synastry, Venus in 10th house/11th house, Moon-Moon Synastry,

song:

pile two.

Hello pile two, for you I see you are an adventurous person, kind of always doing something, always thinking about a million things like your mind can't get any rest, you are very creative and love to talk about your creations. I know this should be about your partner but this is the vibe I'm getting from you right now. You really are restless in some way, hard time falling asleep and hard time focusing, if you feel something strongly you must do it, you also have a very good intuition and should work on it a little bit more, I feel like you've predicted things in your life people called you crazy for.

Your future partner is no fool, they're just like you. This is a person who is always plotting something and dealing with something, they're hard to get kind of people, is like they live in their own little world and are always looking for the next mental challenge. They probably were raised in a very controlling household or one that didn't approve of their ideas or condemned their kind of mentality, someone who has a difficult relationship with their family but keeps themselves occupied to not think of the hardships of their childhood, somebody who ran away or left their hometown, this is a person who's always been looking for more than what they've been taught and accepted the next challenge with open arms. This person is unusual in the sense they might like to wear baggy clothes or clothes that don't call much the attention, they don't take care of themselves as much aesthetically as they don't mind how they look to outside viewers but also it might be a statement to say "I don't care. I don't care about anything" when they do, they care about everything all the time and that's their ruin for them. They did NOT wanted a relationship when you two met, and might make you go through hard times or make you wait a lot until they confess their feelings, this person has a really hard time not rationalizing their emotions and you throw them off the edge. You are their soft spot, their weakness and they will find themselves, surprisingly, opening up to you like they never did with anybody, they might be just as intuitive as you and see something in you but it's harder for them to understand, you are a very special person and they see something very special in you.

you or them might have these on their birtchart or synastry: Virgo sun/Ascendant, 9th Stellium, Sagittarius Moon/Venus, Gemini Stellium/Ascendant, Venus-Uranus Synastry, Venus in 9th/3rd, Scorpio Sun/Ascendant, Water Ascendant, 11th Synastry, Big Air Stellium

song:

pile three

Hello pile three, for you I see a very explosive or impulsive personality, somebody who's not bending over anyone and who is very talkative, you have a child's heart and are a delight to be around, very extroverted for sure. I know this should be about your partner but this is the vibe I'm getting from you right now. You are unapologetic and know how to have fun, most of all you are a person that always tries to see the positive side of things and won't let bad things ruin your day or night for anything, is hard for you to fall asleep as is hard to wake up. You are also very loyal and compromise yourself to everything you seem worth of it.

Your future partner is someone more reserved and less impulsive, but that doesn't mean they're boring. This person is extremely attractive (hehe) and has a temper for sure, they are just more secretive about their movements and decide their next steps carefully. This is a person that doesn't take themselves as seriously as people think but likes to put in a show for people and likes to be seen as intimidating, they like being a more private person as they'd probably been raised or grew up in a household where their family was untrustworthy, could never take anything seriously or were very dramatic and self-centered. This person is very self-aware and also authoritative, they probably are the boss on their job or everybody trusts them to do things right. They like to wear winter clothes and dark colors, they give me Levi Ackerman vibes for some reason, somebody really intimidating but deep down doesn't give a damn. When you two meet this person is not immediately attracted to you or aren't even thinking of relationships, it's very probable you meet them when they're going through a breakup or a love disappoinment of some sort that makes them not want to engage with you, but you will like them almost immediately and try to get them no matter what. It'll work! Your perseverance and your obvious sexual attraction will make them fold for you sooner than later. I'm going to be honest, this feels like a friends with benefits kind of situation that progresses into a relationship, they will feel intrigued not for the sexual connection but the way you move and present yourself that makes them want to know you more which is not usual since they don't tend to go out of their way to meet people, they will be very impressed and feel like they never met someone like you and will become obsessed with your natural coolness and even the way you dress makes them like you even more. This person will adore you, they are very intense and can be kind of possessive of you as well, if you're into that kind of stuff.

you or them might have these on their birtchart or synastry: Aries Sun/Venus, Scorpio Venus, 8th Synastry, Leo Stellium, Pluto-Venus Synastry, Capricorn Sun/Ascendant, Sun/Venus in 10th house, Earth Mars, Mars-Venus Synastry, Libra Ascendant, 5th Synastry,

song:

pile four

Hello pile four, for you I see someone who's imagination makes them shy away from the world, a very sensitive and sensorial person and you are almost always sleep deprived for some reason you are definitely a night owl. I know this should be about your partner but this is the vibe I'm getting from you right now. You're a person who is used to bend and to give in, you don't like conflict and hate when people fight, your childhood could've been full of arguments and fights so that's why, now that you're older, you tend to give in even when you don't want to, you try to keep yourself busy to not think of sad things but you might be a pessimist at heart. You can be a person that sees themselves as "broken".

Your future partner is just as imaginative as you, but they express it wholeheartedly, they are free and have an almost childish mind, this person lives their truth every day and they hardly try to hide their personality, they might seem careless and immature but are very contemplative people and search for the answer of things always, they love to know and to read and to listen and to educate themselves. Somebody who likes to do well in everything and tries hard to prove themselves to people, this person might've grown up in a chaotic or closed off household that didn't always value knowledge but who's right and who isn't. They can get repetitive or very passionate about a topic, this person is very eccentric and loves to show off how much shit they know but not because they think they're better than someone but to make conversation and gain more knowledge from other people's perspective, they are pure at heart just like you are and can be dramatic or aloof but never mean and never to you. When you two meet the first one to fall will probably be you as you will love the way their mind works and how passionately they speak of their beliefs, you will feel immediately inspired by them but immediately feel left down, assuming they will never like you back. This person will be very shy in front of you all of a sudden and turn into a mess when you're around because they don't do romantic feelings very well, to be honest, your future partner will also feel like they aren't liked romantically by anyone because people might have told them they're weird or not good enough to be a partner, so they will too shy away. This relationship will not start immediately and might take a long time to develop until the both of you realize the other's feelings, and from then you'll try to go slowly but this relationship will feel so exciting it'd be difficult not to be happy about the future. This person will make your opinions valid and make you feel like you matter to someone unlike previous relationships, it will be a very cute and happy relationship for both of you, they will treat you like the most precious thing they know.

you or them might have these on their birtchart or synastry: Pisces Sun/Venus, Libra Stellium, 2th house Synastry, Aquarius Venus, Virgo Venus/Ascendant, Capricorn Stellium, Jupiter-Venus Synastry, Big Earth energy

song:

THAT'S ALL HOES! REBLOG!

#pick a card #pac reading #pick a pile #intuitive reading #intuitive pac #pick a card reading #astrology #love reading #Spotify

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houseofanticipation · 8 months

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You're sitting with your friend Sam at a coffee shop, catching up. She's telling you about an instagram ad she keeps getting for some audiobook streaming service. "It's just crazy," she says, "because I was just telling Lucille I wanted to start reading more books but I never have the time, and then it's like instantly I'm getting these ads all the time."

"So what," you say over your steaming mug, "you think they're listening to you?"

Sam shakes her head. "Honestly I think it's almost scarier than that. They have so much information about us, they don't even need to listen to our conversations. They just know, based on everything they've gathered about me, that I'm probably someone who wants to listen to audiobooks."

"Well they can't be that smart," you say. "Because the only ads I've been getting lately are for something called Slut Cream."

Sam raises an eyebrow. "You must know I'm going to need more details."

You take out your phone and find an ad to show her. It's not difficult; literally all of the ads you see on instagram are like this. They're even showing up in other places now, on webpages you visit or apps you use. This one is one you've seen before: a beautiful woman in a crop top that just barely covers her nipples is proudly displaying a squeeze tube of the kind you'd buy sunscreen or toothpaste in. The caption says, "Being a slut isn't a hobby—it's a lifestyle! Step up your slut game with Slut Cream! Shop Now"

"I don't even know what slut cream is," you say. "All you get when you look it up is a bunch of porn."

"Well, obviously it's a way to step up your slut game," says Sam sagely. "What does it say on the website?"

"Oh, I'm not clicking the link," you say. "I don't want to encourage them! What I want to know is why suddenly this ad is all I can seem to see!"

Sam shoots you a wink. "Maybe you're just a slut. These data brokers know us better than we know ourselves."'

What neither of you know is that it's actually quite easy to buy online ad space, and they let you get pretty specific with your intended audience.

I live in the next apartment over from you. I've been watching you for a long time, studying you, listening to you through our shared wall. We've talked a few times, some terse conversation at the mailboxes or in the hall, which is how I knew enough about you to place those ads, with audience parameters so specific that probably only you and about five other people would see them. I had fun making them; hiring the model to do the photoshoot, dusting off the skills I picked up in that college graphic design course, creating a website for this fake business (though I'm disappointed you still haven't clicked through to see it). If you actually tried to buy slut cream, the website would tell you we're currently closed due to high traffic, and to check back later. Nowhere on the website does it explain what slut cream is.

A number of strange things happen to you over the course of the following day. On your lunch break you walk down the block to the deli by your office. You're in here every weekday, but today the energy here is different. People are staring you, side-eyeing you, having whispered conversations that stop abruptly when you get too close. As you're walking back to work, an old woman spits on the ground as you pass, you'd swear you heard the word "whore!" hissed under her breath. You wonder if you should say something, stand up for yourself, but she's elderly, probably confused, and you decide to be the bigger person.

In the hours after lunch, you're propositioned by no less than seven of your male coworkers. You've had to refuse a few invitations to dinner in your time, but seven in a day is completely out of the ordinary, and the things these men are offering to do to you go way outside the bounds of first date stuff. One guy tells you the conference room is empty, if you want to go for a quick fuck; another guy tells you he hasn't cum in a month, and if you sucked his cock he'd pump so much cum down your throat that you wouldn't need to eat dinner. Your boss even tells you he and his wife are looking for a third and he thought of you first, like he's offering you a big promotion. The strangest thing is that all of these men seem genuinely surprised when you turn them down. Like this sort of thing usually works with girls. One guy even says, "sorry, I was just trying to help."

It was pretty easy to hire actors for the deli and the street. You go to the same place every day, so I knew where they'd have to go and roughly when they'd need to be there. The harder part was getting your coworkers to play along, especially because I was picky about getting people who could sell the act. For a few of them all it took was money. A few of them I had to blackmail. For your boss I had to call in a favor, get his boss to threaten his job. He protested, but I think it made his cock hard, thinking about fucking you alongside his wife.

I keep this up for a few weeks. Anywhere you go I have people watching you, talking about you behind your back. I have people approaching you on the train, at the park, in restaurants, offering to fuck you like they're doing you a favor. You stay firm in your refusal—I wouldn't have expected any less from you—but I can tell it's beginning to eat at you. I watch you try to figure out what you're doing that seems to give all these people the wrong idea about you; you start to dress more modestly, talk less, even walk a little less confidently. But none of this will change anything. All it will do is make you feel more repressed.

After a month, I decide it's time to make my move. I could probably wait longer, but the anticipation is getting too much for me, and besides, you're beginning to get a little wild around the eyes. I'd hate to break you before I've had my fun. One evening, when I know you're home, I unlock your apartment with the duplicate key I had made two months ago. You're in the kitchen, washing dishes with headphones on; you didn't hear me come in. I leave the door open as I approach you, admiring the way you shake your ass to whatever it is you're listening to. I get right up behind you and stay there for a moment, lavishing in your innocence, feeling my cock strain at my belt as I imagine taking it away from you. Then I reach around front of you with both arms and plunge my hand into your panties

You shout in shock, fight back, try to push me off as the headphones fall off your head. But I've got you pinned against the counter, my full body weight against you, one hand down your pants, the other groping your breasts. Once you realize that fighting won't help, you stop struggling and ask me what I want. "Please," you say. Just hearing that quiver in your voice almost makes me delirious with lust. "Please, let me go. I don't want this, please."

I bury my face in your neck, kissing and breathing you in. You smell incredible, like fear and sweat and sex. I bring my lips up to your ear, let them brush against you as I speak. "Of course you want this, baby. You've been trying so hard to hide it, but you don't have to hide with me. Look, you left the door open for me." I let you turn your head enough to see the door hanging open just as my fingers find your clit. I'm rubbing you gently, tenderly, just the way I've watched you touch yourself through the webcam I have in your room. My other hand is under your shirt now and I'm squeezing your breast, rolling your nipple between my fingers, feeling it slowly grow full and erect. You try to stifle a soft moan and I kiss your neck again. "It's okay, baby. You don't have to be ashamed. It's okay to want to feel good. Let me make you feel good."

You clutch your face in your hands and let out a cry of frustration and humiliation and agony and pleasure. You barely know me; I'm the guy next door who sometimes looks at you a little too long. The guy you speed up to avoid in the hall. But that feeling radiating from you clit... You think how exhausting it's been, doing everything you could think of to change people's perception of you, get them to stop looking at you as a slut, how none of it has done you any good anyway. You wonder if you'd have had more fun fucking Jim in the conference room, or swallowing Dylan's cum, or having a threesome with your boss and his wife. And that throbbing in your clit, the agonizing pleasure...You remember that beautiful woman in the ad: "Being a slut isn't a hobby—it's a lifestyle!" You think about how happy she looked, how fulfilled. You remember Sam's words: "These data brokers know us better than we know ourselves."

It does feel good, doesn't it? To let me touch you, pleasure you, to let go of this act you've been holding on to. Isn't it okay to want to feel good? Why did you ever let anyone make you ashamed of that? You try out another moan, letting the pleasure well up through your chest and out your mouth. It feels good, so you try another, and another, and then you're leaning back into me, grinding up against me, delighting in the feeling of my hard cock against your ass.

"Good," I say. "You're letting go of those silly hang-ups. Now we can have our real fun." My hands still around you, controlling you, I half lead-half carry your trembling body to the bedroom. I throw you on the bed, face up so I can get a good look at your eyes, see what I've done to your mind. Those same eyes that have avoided me in the hall so many times now gaze hungrily up at me, wanting me, needing me.

Who am I do decline?

I pull off your pants and panties as a single unit, letting you take care of your shirt for yourself. I kick of my own bottoms, letting my throbbing cock slap against your leg as it springs from its confinement. Don't think I don't notice the way your whole body shivers when it touches you. I lift your legs and push your knees up towards your ears; you're remarkably flexible. It must be all that yoga I've watched you do at the place downtown. I've greatly enjoyed your visits to that place, so it's nice to see they weren't in vain.

You're afraid of me, all of a sudden. Maybe some part of you is seeing sense, realizing you'd have to be crazy to let a guy like me come into your home and fuck you like this. But what was the alternative? Have me rape you? Let me tell you, darling: I would have raped you. You feel the head of my cock gliding over your skin, exploring your inner thighs and pubic area, and tremble at my touch. I want this, you tell yourself. This is what a slut like me needs.

All the same, you cry a little bit when I penetrate you. It's not because it hurts—it does hurt a bit, but you're wet enough, and it's not entirely a bad pain. It's not because you're afraid—well, maybe in part, but that's not the core of it. You cry because you're finally letting go. Letting go of the person you used to be, or thought you were. It's the relief of knowing you don't have to pretend anymore, wrapped up with the mourning you feel when you lose a potential version of yourself. I lean across you as my cock fills you up, and tenderly, I kiss away your tears. "Hush, my darling. I'm here. I will always be here. I will love you despite what you are, when everyone else turns away in disgust."

My weight on you feels good, comforting. The way I press down on your legs, stretching you out, driving my cock so deep inside you that it brushes your cervix. It hurts a little, but is that any better than you deserve? Could a slut like you really expect to find better than this? Better than unconditional love and a desire to give you the pleasure you need?

I'm speeding up now, my face something like an animal, furious and insistent as I gaze down at you. There's darkness behind my eyes, you think, something cold and cruel. You thank God I'm on your side. My hips are like a hammer on your pelvis now, and with each thrust you feel my cock bulging inside you, throbbing and pulsating with anticipation. When I finally plant my seed in you, groaning and growling and pressing you further into the bed, you find there's something comforting about the warmth of my cum inside you. Maybe my seed will take root, make you swell up with me, make you mine. As I roll off you, huffing and panting, the tears begin to stream down your face again, this time from joy.

What did a slut like you ever do to deserve someone who loves you like I do?

#r@pe fantasy #r@pe kink #cvmslvt #cvmdump #rapekink #rapetoy #breeding toy #mind conditioning

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brooooswriting · 3 months

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Do you think you could do a part two to the tutors to lovers leighton fic absolutely loved it 😍 no pressure though xx

Tutors to lovers 2

“Y/n y/m/n y/l/n” your mothers voice suddenly rang.

Gosh you were fucked.

You and Leighton quickly pulled away, trying to fix whatever you could before turning to your mom. “Mom, what are you already doing here?” You asked hectically, your voice wavering.

“I should be asking you that. What are you doing here making out with that blondie? This is the reason you’re failing y/n” she said, her voice harsh as she took a step towards you. You were used to them being disappointed in you but it wasn’t often that they said it out loud like that. Leightons phone rang again and you gave her a nod to signal that it was okay if she left. She was reluctant but still did as it was her father calling.

“Mom please, she’s to only re-“

“No! This is not ok y/n and we are going to talk about it once your father is here. I am very disappointed in you” you sighed and gave her a nod. By now you were happy that Leighton left, unknown to you she could still hear every word your mother said. Luckily other students and their parents filled the room before your dad came. “We are going to sit down. Your father will join soon” your mother said making you nod and walk up to your place.

Not long after the blonde came into the room followed by her parents. You could feel your mom’s eyes on her, an annoyed look on her face when she realized that the blonde would sit next to you. Her parents gave you a warm smile and greeted you with a hello which you quickly returned. Leighton send you a comforting smile, shifting so her thigh was touching yours to give you some comfort. A couple of minutes later your father joined, followed by some whispering between your parents and then a disappointed look from your dad. It was obvious that she told him what she walked into making this weekend an even bigger hell. Throughout the whole lecture your parents nagged you. ‘Why didn’t you know what?’ ‘Why didn’t you say that?’ ‘This was literally so easy’ ‘Didn’t you learn anything?’ And even if you said something they played it down, ‘your sister was able to do that in 9th grade’

Leighton in contrast was extremely proud of you, it may have taken a while but you finally understood the topic. “You did great” she whispered into your ear, her hand finding yours for a moment. This interaction alone gave you new energy to deal with your parents and their disgusting behavior. Once the lesson ended it was time for lunch in the cafeteria, another nightmare of yours.

“So, do you have any friends?” Your dad asked, even though it was more rhetorical you decided to answer.

“Yes dad, I do. I’m not some weirdo” you walked in front of them, leading them towards the cafeteria. As soon as all three of you had food, you walked to your usual table. On the way there you stopped at Lila’s, caneens, Willows, Jenna’s and some others just to show your parents that you had a lot of friends. You couldn’t help the smile that came onto your face when you saw your usual table, Whitney, Bela, Kimberly and obviously Leighton, sitting there with an annoyed look on their face. Each of them trying to tune out their parents.

“Those are your friends?” Your mother’s voice was clearly portraying her emotions which made you sigh again. Probably the 100th time today. You gave them a nod and settled next to Whitney, opposite from Leighton.

“Oh, you sat next to Leighton in math just now right?” Henry asked once he looked at you, a friendly smile on his face. You smiled back and nodded at him.

“Yeah, I’m y/n. She’s actually the only reason I’m passing that class, she’s so smart” you send both of them a smile before pushing your food around. Normally you were more than happy with cafeteria food when it was build your own pasta bowl day, but your mother had made a comment about your weight just before lunch.

Leighton send you a quick text asking if you were alright as you didn’t eat, her face full of concern as she looked up at you. You only gave her a nod with the best smile you could muster.

“You shouldn’t wear this top, it looks terrible” your mother suddenly said making everybody at the table look at you. You only gave her a nod, to scared that you’d cry if you talked, before standing up and leaving the room. The blonde waited for a moment before excusing herself ‘to get another water’ but it was no use. She couldn’t find you anywhere and when she texted you, you told her that you’d be back shortly.

And you were. Fifteen minutes later you came back, dressed differently than before and new layer of makeup on your face. You sat back down giving everybody a small smile, trying to act as if nothing had happened. But all of them knew, they weren’t stupid and they wished that they could do something. “We should go. We have another event planned” your parents said and stood up, giving you an expecting look which made you stand up too.

“I’ll see you later” you told the rest turning back to your parents “I’ll just use the restrooms real quick” they nodded and told you that they would be waiting in the room of the event, not caring about walking with you. You sighed once you entered the bathroom, happy that it was empty as it gave you some space. You’d have never thought that your parents could make you feel even worse than they already did all those years, but here they were destroying everything new you had and humiliating you in front of your friends, and even worse Leighton. As you stared into the mirror new tears formed in your eyes. You hectically wiped them away when the door open just to reveal the blonde.

“Hey, I just wanted to see how you’re doing” she said as you turned towards her, your back against the sink with your hands resting on top of the cold surface.

“I’m good, thank you” it was a good lie, everybody would have believed it. With a family like that you had gotten good at faking and lying. But after spending hours on hours cramped up in a dorm or in the library there was no way that you could lie to Leighton, especially after you tried many times just to stop the tutoring. The problem was that, even though she could see past the lie, she didn’t know what to say. All those years she had complained about her family and sure sometimes they could be annoying and rude, especially her mother but they were nothing against yours. Plus, her mother showed that she could change, she was happy for Leighton when she came out and supported her when it came to the decision that she wasn’t joining kappa.

She looked at you for a moment before deciding that there was nothing she could say that would even out what your parents said. So she instead leaned in to kiss you, pulling you closer to give you comfort. It helped, a lot. The closeness to her gave you new energy, you just had to wait until your parents left again so you could be happy again. It was as easy as that. That’s atleast what you tried to tell yourself. She only pulled away when there were footsteps in front of the door. “My parents want to invite you and your family to have dinner with us tonight, we are going to the fanciest place in town. So I’ll come over and help you choose an outfit when our parents go back to the hotel ok?”

You didn’t have it in you to have a discussion, so you only nodded. “I should go now before they kill me” you pressed a kiss to her cheek and went to the building next door, trying to find your parents in the sea of people. Sadly, you found them rather quick and sat down.

“The Murray’s found us” your dad started the moment your ass touched the chair, “they invited us to dinner. Great. As if we haven’t already spend enough time with them.” You decided not to say anything, everything you said they’d use against you.

“We want you to break up with that blonde” your mother added moments later making you freeze.

“What? No way. Why would I?”

“Because she’s bad for you. You’re failing” you could only shake your head, it amazed you how they would never listen to you.

“She’s the reason I’m not failing, mother. She tutors me and now I’m got from an E to a C and the prof said that if I keep up the work I’ll easily get a B and he’d give me some extra work that will get me an A. Than I’d have a gpa from 3.8. What more do you want?” You argued. There was nothing else you could do to please them any more. You’d never be enough for their standards.

“Don’t talk to your mother that way” you couldn’t believe it. Of course that was the only thing he heard, not the fact that you had a great GPA or the fact that you found a smart, loving partner. No, only that you weren’t 100% nice to your mom.

4 hours later, you walked into the restaurant immediately seeing the table filled with your friends and their parents. You were clad in a suit like outfit that Leighton had chosen, the colors matching what she was wearing. “Hello everybody” you said and sat down between the blonde and Kimberly’s mother.

“Ah, great to see you y/n. Where are your parents? Still waiting for the valley?” Belas dad asked, receiving an elbow from her mother.

“Uhm, no. They said that they couldn’t make it, sorry” you mumbled, fumbling around with the sleeves of your top. It was embarrassing but you felt like you would disappoint the rest if you didn’t show up.

“Well, I for one am very happy that you’re here. You’re such a nice young lady” Kimberly’s mother said, her hand squeezing your shoulder in a comforting manner. The rest of the table nodded in agreement making you blush a bit.

“Thank you very much Mrs. Finkel, that means a lot to me” the woman talked with you for a bit before you guys decided to order. While you waited you talked to everybody at the table, it felt like a big family. Something you had always wished for. Just as Evette asked you something you saw your parents walk in. And sit at another table. You swallowed heavily before quickly focusing on Evette again, hoping that nobody else noticed them.

“So, y/n, any suitors?” She concluded before looking at you expectantly. You opened your mouth, unsure of what to say until you felt leightons had squeeze your thigh.

“Actually, I’m dating Leighton” you gave them a smile as you intertwined your hands together and placed them on your thigh. PDA wasn’t her strong suit and you were fine with that.

“Oh that’s so great. Whitney, why don’t you have somebody like her?” Her mom said causing everybody at the table to giggle. You collected all your courage and looked over at the Murray’s who gave you a warm smile, your shoulders immediately relaxing. You turned your head further to look at the blonde who was already looking at you. You only smiled at each other, forgetting everybody around you for a moment.

Once dinner was finished and paid, all of you walked out. Running into a, to you unknown, tradition. Family pictures. “Alright, Leigh, come on. Fix your hair quickly. We want to take the picture” Henry said, getting his phone out already.

“Oh, here. I can take the picture” you extended your hand, but never received the phone.

“No, you can’t. You’re on the picture. You’re family now” her mom took your extended hand and pulled you next to your girlfriend who smiled brightly. You positioned yourself slightly behind her with a hand on her lower back, while her mother stood next to you. All of you smiled brightly while Bela took the photo.

“Take another one just of them, they look so good tonight” her mother said as both her parents detached from you. A small laugh left you, before you scotched a bit closer to her and soon after you could hear the click of the camera.

“Wait, not that quick. I want one with a bit of action” Bela said, her brows raised which made you and her parents laugh while Leighton hid her face in your neck. If they were your parents you’d probably also be embarrassed but like this is it was quite funny.

“A bit of action” you mocked quietly, causing the blonde to laugh and leave your neck. Instead she turned towards you so she could look at you. Unsure of what to do you just looked at each other until you both smiled. You decided to just take the shot as now everybody was watching you, you quickly leaned in and kissed her softly until you heard the click again.

“So cute” Kimberly’s mom said, earning an agreeing hum from her daughter.

“Let me look” Leighton demanded, scrolling through the hundreds of pictures her roommate took. She stopped at a specific one, smiling slightly. It was the moment you just smiled at each other, you couldn’t lie it was a really sweet and amazing picture which you’d definitely set as your background.

“Alright ladies. The car is there” her father said, opening the door for his wife. They were really cute, you couldn’t deny that.

“Oh, I think I forgot my lipliner inside. I’ll be back in a second” you asked if you should go for her out with her but she denied, saying that you could already get in the car. You waited outside, you felt like it was impolite to already get in. When she came out a couple of minutes later, you opened the door for her and then scooted in after her.

“Thank you for the evening and the driving, that was really nice. And it was really great to meet both of you” you said as all of you got out of the car. They really took you in today.

“We can only say the same. We are sorry for how the rest of the day went, but we are happy that you ate with us” they both hugged their daughter before hugging you. “We are going to the hotel now, sleep well.” Both of them said their goodbyes before disappearing, leaving you and Leighton on the street in front of the college.

“Wanna sleep over tonight? My roommate is sleeping at the same hotel as their parents” you asked. You had wrapped your arm around her shoulder as you walked back. She immediately agreed, a quiet room with you sounded better than her loud dorm.

It didn’t take long for you two to settle on the couch after changing into some sweats and a hoodie. There was no way to fight of the smile that crept onto your face when you saw her wearing your clothes. Getting them back was out of question though. You were cuddling on the couch while watching some random movie when there was a knock on your door. Reluctantly you both pulled away so you could open the door. “Mom? Dad?” You asked confused to why they were here after leaving you the whole evening.

“Hello. We just wanted to say goodbye” your father said, not really looking into your eyes. He was more focused on watching something behind you.

“And we wanted to say sorry. We treated you poorly and shouldn’t have said the things we said” your mother added. They weren’t a hundred percent honest but it was more than you imagined.

“Well, thank you. Have a save ride home” you said unsure of how to react. You definitely weren’t going to say that it was okay cause it definitely wasn’t.

“Goodbye y/n, goodbye Leighton” that was what really shocked you. Them saying goodbye to her was a mystery, a couple of hours ago they wanted you to break up with her. Confused you settled back on your previous spot on the couch.

“What was that?” You asked, your brows furrowed.

“Well, who knows” you immediately recognized a weird pitch in her voice. You studied her face carefully before deciding that something was off.

“What did you do?” She grinned up at you guiltily.

“I may have had a talk with them at the restaurant. And before you get mad at me, I couldn’t let them treat you like this. You’re such a Valuable acquisition to all of our lives and they were making you feel bad about your whole life. It sucked and they shouldn’t be able to do it without consequences” she explained, sitting up so she could look at you. She could be overprotective of the people she loved and she was kinda scared that she’d scare you off with it, but she was utterly wrong. You couldn’t help but admire her.

“That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you love” you pushed her chin up with two fingers before pressing multiple kisses to her lips. She really was the whole package and you wouldn’t change her for anything. “Nobody ever made me feel so good about myself” you added with a smile before standing up and extending your hand. “Come on, let’s go to bed” you smirked. She was up faster than you could realize, pulling you into your bedroom.

Gosh, you were so in love with her.

#reader insert #brooooswriting #leighton murray x reader #renee rapp x reader #tslocg x reader

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galene-gothic · 8 months

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𝖧𝗈𝗐 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿?

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗ PAID SERVICES

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 1 ꒱

Let's look at what your best self looks like first, your best self is selectively honest. They don't tell others what they want next. They evaluate themself and are self critical to a certain extent. They are sort of self absorbed. They understand that ignorance is bliss and know how to ignore things or people when need be. They are especially really good at ignoring people that they can't have or people from the past. They are still quite fearless though. They understand that it's better to be attacked than ignored. They meditate often and know how to relax. They need and prioritise peace, and their actions align with that. They never bite more than they can chew, they know how to step away from situations that they cannot handle. They try to stay away from conflict and choose themself first no matter what. They know how to become the bigger person. They take care of themself, self reflect and know how to heal properly. They know how to not make rash decisions. They're wise and detached. They've surrendered, they know that if they cannot control it, there's no use worrying and if they can control it, it's better to do so rather than worry. They've released old beliefs and patterns. They have a faith that things will work out, be it faith in themself, faith in god, faith in life or faith in the universe. They're mindful, intentional and know how to let go. They know how to grow, they're also successful. They believe that the pain of discipline is better than the pain of regret. They're quite passive and know how to let life happen for them, they're still someone who takes necessary action though. So, how do you become them? You need a rest, not gonna lie.

Some of you might be drained out to the point where you cannot focus in school or on work. You need to address your self esteem issues. Supposing, you are really self conscious when it comes to performing, you always feel like your body won't look good if you put too much energy so you end up putting less energy in but when you do so, you feel disappointed at yourself for not doing well. In that case, you should try to improve your dance skills. You're someone who has an understanding that being pretty doesn't do enough for you, it's the same with being rich, and the way you are as a person and the way you present yourself are all very important to you. I think it's important for you to build certain skills to a point where you can be really proud, it'll significantly boost your self esteem which will in turn help you for the better. It requires consistency though, don't be lazy !! You need to release negative thoughts, feelings, habits and patterns. You might have gotten really comfortable with your pain, it's important to heal. Your deepest traumas are either already surfacing/resurfacing or will soon, that's when it'll be the easiest to change. You need to stop stressing like just know that "what happens, happens." You need to face life and have a total break down first. You should withdraw from stuff. You'll go through something very humbling, you'll be left feeling really put down. You'll not even have it in yourself to look strong anymore, you'll be exposing weakness because you'll just not have the strength to conceal it. You'll have to accept defeat first and things will get better soon. You'll have to have a lot of anger, pain, shame, guilt and regrets in order to completely change your life, all the best, it'll probably come in soon.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 2 ꒱

Let's look at what your best self looks like, your best self has unlimited potential and sees it. Your best self has freedom in some sense, be it financial or something else. Your best self is someone who had to let go of who they were in order to become who they're meant to be. Your best self has a carefree attitude. I just heard 'be yourself'. When I say this, some of you might think that you're doing it already but if you think about it properly you'll notice that you tend to either act childlike even though you're very mature, dumb even though you're very smart, don't express your values as articulately as you think about them, etc. Some of you could be really good at written expression of your thoughts, ideas and feelings but when it comes to talking, you're not the best. Your best self is not scared of being unique. Your best self takes risks because they understand that most of the times not taking a risk is the biggest risk. Your best self has a thirst for life and is passionate. You might be really passionate as a person (most of you seem to have that side of you diminished though). Your best self has fun regardless of what others say. One quality that you already have is your ability to analyse yourself, you are not the type to avoid accountability and blaming external factors for every little thing. You have some sort of an inner guidance, your mindset gives you the capacity to be completely alone if necessary. I feel like a deep part of you desires or used to desire solitude, peace and spiritual enlightenment. Most of you have started your spiritual journey already, some of you haven't though. It doesn't have to be something too deep like 'light candles every full moon, meditate every morning, light sage and incenses often' but instead that you feel like everything that happened was for a reason or even if it feels like it wasn't.

You learn and make something out of it, you know how to live life and try to grow as a person, and have faith (be it in the universe or in yourself). You might be quite philosophical too. You have a lot of wisdom, people who are slightly older than you and see you for who you are might say things like "you're so mature for your age". Ofcourse, there are some things that you'll have to get rid of in order to become your best self, I feel like most of you have mostly/only had short term unstable relationship/s which have caused you to have a lot of baggage. You could have poor health (I heard a poor immune system, bad sleep schedule and poor gut health). You might also be financially dependent on someone else or just not be financially stable, it's causing you to not be able to gain certain skills or knowledge, etc. Even if you do not notice it, you have a tendency of getting stuck in your head often. You lack spontaneity and need mental stimulation/challenges/someone who seems to be equally as intelligent as you so you could have been stuck in toxic friendships/relationships with people who think that and act like they know everything. You're a very fair person, so being with people who don't share the same values or reasoning as you will be frustrating, I'd advise you to not interact with such people to the point of forming am emotional attachment. You'll have to find a source of motivation or something that just reignites the passion in you. Stop being lazy, simply just planning isn't going to get you anywhere. You need to find a new purpose basically. Focus on a purpose, money, drive and having fun. It's important to learn how to be true to yourself and not get easily influenced. You should go out and have some fun too. All the best, I'm rooting for you but you need to be rooting for yourself ten times harder.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 3 ꒱

Your best self holds pure intentions towards others and has a good nature. Your best self is also very attractive and follows their heart. They're driven and have a great imagination. They romanticise life and are in love with love. They listen to their intuition and take action towards their goals with a hope in their heart. They have a creative hobby that they might have suppressed that they choose to enhance. They're charming and friendly with people. One thing that I'm getting is that they're someone who everyone has a crush on to a certain extent. They receive a lot of jealousy and envy from others. They don't let anger get the best of them. They think calmly and orderly. They accept different beliefs and paths. They could be someone who's tired though, like really tired physically (they could do a lot). They're accepting of other people's differences. They find solutions to issues instead of going around blaming others. They prioritise peace and don't lose sight of the path. You need to face yourself instead of quick fixing issues that lead to long term detriment. If you're having fights, etc. the moment you forgive them (whether it is at their face or by yourself, without letting them know, that's up to you) and resolve conflicts (including your inner conflicts), you'll start developing into your best self. You have convinced yourself that you have certain beliefs that don't align with you and you need to get rid of them. You're not seeing the brighter side of life and that's hindering you from becoming your best self too.

I feel like what's led to this mild-extreme pessimism is your over optimism in the past. A happy and exciting event seems to have turned wrong. It's going to take you a lot of work to become your best self. You'll have to take up a lot of responsibilities and be really loaded with things to do if you want to become your best self. You'll have to be serious about life and will be stressed quite often. I just heard 'too busy to even eat'. There are excessive requirements and conditions for you to become the best version of yourself. You'll have to put yourself through intense pressure. You'll have to take up a lot of responsibilities too though, try to improve your own character alongside working on building something for yourself. It'll be really easy to burn out though because of how much you'll be doing. You need to mean how to not commit easily to others. You need to challenge others instead of just letting them into your life. Your best self follows their heart but is not easy to get. You need to become hard to get and easy to lose. You need to learn how to make quick decisions and take quick actions. It's important for you to be on a dedicated mission to succeed. Discipline yourself and build confidence. Build so much confidence that when someone you love does you wrong, you know that you can just let go, and find better people and treatment. Become self assured. It's important for you to just go for the things that you want. If you try, you'll get there little by little, all the best.

#intuitive readings #pick a card #pick a deck #pac #pac reading #astro notes #pick a photo #astrology #astro observations #pick a gif #pick a picture #astrovations

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princesscolumbia · 9 months

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Star Trek Captains, A Review and Categorization

Star Trek is a show about a Neo-military organization that has rank structures, ships, and fights wars, so naturally there's plenty of captains to talk about, but for this post I'll be highlighting specifically the main cast captains, in something resembling chronological order. (But, I mean, this is Star Trek, so even that's kinda up in the air)

Captain Archer

That Guy who had to hand crank the warp engine up-hill both ways in the blinding ion storm. We don't need no stinkin' Prime Directive! Remember The Alamo Pearl Harbor 9/11 Florida! But...uh, maybe don't be dicks about it, not everyone who looks like the ones responsible for that thing we're never going to forget actually wants us dead. Got transformed into an alien, got possessed by another alien, slept with a couple more. Never got pregnant, though (that was his chief engineer)

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 1

Wars started: 0

Wars ended: 3

Times on screen naked: 1

Nazi facilities destroyed: 1

Category: Grampa

Captain Pike

Midlife crisis? What midlife crisis? Everything's fiiiiine. Now eat something, it'll make you feel better. I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed. Number One, don't tell me I can't adopt more kids, I don't care that they're from the future they're mine now. Besides, we've already got a whole ship-full, what's two more?

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 2

Violations of the Temporal Prime Directive: -3 (yes, it's an irrational number, we're talking time travel, people!)

Musical Numbers Participated While On Duty: 3

Hair: Really Great

Category: Dad (or DILF if you swing that way)

Captain Georgiou

You will be captain when you can snatch the stone from my hand.

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 1

Protege's who required a redemption arc: 1

Awesomeness: Transcendent

Category: Gone too soon, also, MILF who can kick your ass

(Edit: Courtesy of @cheer-me-up-scotty for pointing out an oversite on my part)

Captain Burnham

Cosplays as a Vulcan 'cause she's jealous of her adoptive brother. Accurately called an audience-stand-in-self-insert-mary-sue (shut up, Star Trek fandom invented the Mary Sue, it was a term coined by women fans, so shut up!), but by season 2 she actually gets interesting.

Scorecard

Mommy Issues: Has a subscription

Moms: 4

PTSD inducing life events: Like, all of them

Ships commanded: 3

Mutinies led failed: 1

Category: That One Cousin who married surprisingly well and made something of herself in spite of all expectations

Captain Kirk

Golden retriever energy, would be the Useless Bisexual Himbo if he didn't have so much game. Probably smarter than he lets on. Polyamory King and certified Alien Fucker. Boyfriend is a half-space-elf, main sometimes-girlfriend will go on to create the deadliest super-weapon ever built by humans by accident.

Scorecard

Number of Klingon Bounties on his head: [CLASSIFIED]

Number of women he's slept with: [CLASSIFIED]

Nazi regimes toppled: 1

Number of times he should have had a test that determines if you can stick your dick in it that got named after an upstart from that other science fiction show instead: 1

Ships Commanded: 3

Ships He's Stolen: 3

Category: Slut(affectionate)

Captain Kirk (the other one)

Golden Retriever that got left behind when his family moved away and had to lead a ragtag team of a crotchety older dog and a wet cat on a journey...

No, wait, hold on...

Right! That's the one!

Scorecard

Times he should have been kicked out of Starfleet: At least 4

Ships commanded: 3

Ground transport destroyed: 2 (that we know of)

Number of middle fingers given to Admiralty: 2

Category: Bad Boy

Captain Picard

You know that guy who you see going to the library all the time and always seems to have his nose in a book and always seems to be telling people off for breaking the rules and doing dangerous shit? You'd never know it but he used to be That Guy in college who got, like, ALL the girls and is going to be the Hot Grampa that you don't know how he has that much game, but he got it.

Scorecard

Ships lost in the line of duty: 2

Number of times he married and then estranged his best friend's wife who named their son after her dead first husband: 1

Number of toxic omnipotent and omniscient boyfriends who are obsessed with him and spends their spare time playing with ponies: 1

Category: Inexplicable Sexyman

Captain Badass Sisko

The Cool Dad with baggage. He's got game, but he's got priorities as well, and DON'T mess with his son or you won't even exist anymore to regret it. BLM before it was cool. Led a civil rights riot two centuries before he was born. Space Jesus who can make the best jambalaya you've ever had. Fought and won a war, punched a god, then became one.

Scorecard

Civilizations saved: 4

Native Cultures Treated With the Respect They Deserve: Many

Times He Bent the Rules so his CMO could get some nookie from a Cardasian spy plain, simple tailor: The counter broke

Successful black-ops assassinations completed: 1

Category: BAMF

Captain Janeway

THE single most decorated captain in Starfleet history. Successfully dropped the hammer on dozens of petty tyrants, oppressive regimes, roaming mass murderers, and the Borg. What Prime Directive? Your Mom. Also, probably slept with your mom, that's how much she is the Domme-est of Dommes. She told the Borg to use the safe word...and they DID!

Scorecard

Borg Daughters: 1

Times she told the Borg to step off: 3 (or 4...or 5? Honestly, with the time travel shenanigans it's hard to know for sure)

Nazis she's personally shot: 1

Category: Mistress, but it's "Ma'am" to you

Captain Freeman

She's angry AND disappointed! She's just as good as all the other captains in the fleet, and the good ones know it, but all the rest? They see "cali class" and assume all they're good for is the jobs nobody else wants. But jokes on them, because thanks to that attitude her crew are the flippin' Jacks and Jills of all trades and are more capable of fixing AND fucking AND "fucking" shit up than damn near anyone else!

Scorecard

Times the ship has nearly been destroyed but she and her crew got through it: ...uh...how many episodes are there? And then there's the times that get casual mentions that we never get the details on!

Daughters who should probably be captains now if they were at least a LITTLE more respectful and didn't actively try to piss off Admirals: 1

Times the Cerritos has had to be rebuilt to the point it might as well be called "The Ship of Cerritos Problem": At least 4

Category: Your mom...get back here, I'M NOT DONE TALKING TO YOU!

Captain R'El

Cinnamon Roll, just let m'boy into Starfleet! He just wants a home and a family! I'd like to see full-grown captains who can keep up with half of what this Best Boy is capable of!

Scorecard

Number of species his genetic code is made up of: All of 'em. Even the GODDAMN Q!

Number of Janeways he impressed the socks off of: 2

Quality of his Janeway impression: Bad

Number of Ferengi he out-Ferengi'd: 1

Nazis punched: Give him time...

Category: Teenage Boy Who's NOT GOING THROUGH A PHASE, MOM!

Should I do Captains Shaw and Seven? How about Alternate Timeline Tripp or Future Chakotay? (Going too far down that rabbit hole will eventually lead to Imperial Kirk and Captain Spock from the movies.) Let me know in the comments.

Next Post in this series

#captain r'el #dal r'el #captain janeway #captain picard #captain sisko #captain kirk #captain pike #captain archer #captain georgiou #captain burnham #captain freeman #Star Trek Captains - Review and Category

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sparklz02 · 9 months

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Is He Gay?

[Lyeny x fem!reader 🪄]

part 2

“Have you girls heard of the new gossip going around?” Your friend—Alice—asks excitedly.

Another friend—Maria—responds with equal energy, “Are you referring to that gossip?”

Alice squeals, “Yes! That new gossip!”

You look between your two friends with concern but also curiosity, “Did this gossip by chance erupt from the Steambird again?”

Maria shakes her head and tuts, “No, no! Though it might actually catch a publisher's attention soon enough. It is strange how they have yet to write about it though…”

Alice nods her head in agreement, “That is very strange. They are usually very fast when it comes to trending gossip.”

You huff in frustration, “Ok we get it, the Steambird is behind for the first time since its founding days. What’s this gossip???”

Your friends giggle at your frustration before looking at you with excitement. Alice quickly responds cheerfully, “This new gossip is about whether or not the Great Magician Monsieur Lyney is gay!”

You deadpanned, “This is the new trending gossip???”

They gasp in surprise at your lack of surprise. Maria asks in a concerned tone, “Aren’t you even slightly curious yourself Y/N?”

You cross your arms and ask seriously, “How the heck did this even start??? What about him began this whole circulation of his sexual preference??”

Alice grabs her fan and begins to fan herself quickly in disbelief, “Oh my archons, it’s everything about him of course!”

You raise a brow, “‘Everything’ you say? Enlighten me.”

Your friends look around before leaning over the table in a totally not suspicious manner. Alice whispers quietly, “Have you noticed the way he behaves? He is very friendly with the male audience during his performances!”

Maria also quietly chimes in, “His outfit is also very…interesting. No man in Fontaine dresses as exotically as he does!”

Alice adds to her previous comment, “There have also been rumors suggesting that maybe he is bisexual. He may be nice to the male audience but he is also quite suggestive with the ladies!”

Maria nods enthusiastically at Alice’s claims. She adds on to her comment, “Or maybe he is being suggestive with the ladies to hide any evidence that he is gay?”

Alice squeals, “Oh my you are probably onto something Maria! Don’t you think Y/N?”

You had a look of disappointment and deadpanned, “Is he not allowed to be friendly with the audience he is entertaining??”

Your friend's excitement was now washed over with an unamused expression. Alice whines, “Why can’t we be allowed to entertain the possible idea that he could be gay!”

You shrug, “I just find it disrespectful to make assumptions about someone’s preference without gaining confirmation from them.”

Maria pouts, “You know very well that we are unable to approach him! Security is too tight and surely he will run away from us thinking that we are deranged fans!”

You mumbled quietly, “I wouldn’t blame him for thinking that…”

Your friends gasp and Maria cries, “I heard that! Oh you wound me…!”

Alice pretends to wipe away a tear, “And here we thought you would understand us Y/N. How dare you make fun of your dear friends!”

You chuckle at their antics, “You girls can stop exaggerating now.” You place your hands on the table and quickly change the topic, “But seriously how is his attire and behavior weird? He is a Magician after all. He is supposed to be ‘other-worldly’ or ‘magical’.”

Maria replies, “Ok that is a very fair argument.”

Alice nods, “I also have to agree that you made a very fair point.”

You hum happily knowing you managed to win, “Shall we continue with our tea time?”

Alice looks at you curiously, “Before we do that, are you . you're not even just a little bit curious—”

Maria gently slaps Alice’s head, “Ok maybe we should actually drop the gossip for the day~.”

You all chattered and had a wonderful time and began to part ways, promising to schedule for another tea time whenever time permits. As you walk around the streets of the central city, you begin to see many people huddled together whispering among themselves.

You could make out bits and pieces of their conversations as you were casually walking around…

“Hey have you heard…”

“Well he does have an exotic attire…”

“I heard that he gave the traveler a rainbow rose!”

“He is very touchy with the audience…”

“I saw him giving a lady a hug…”

“Maybe he…”

You begin to zone out and walk aimlessly as you begin to process the conversation you had with your friends and what you are hearing from the people around.

‘Is he gay…?’

You quickly caught yourself and shook your head furiously and mumbled, “No, no. Don’t let the gossip get to you. Lynette would be the first to know then me and Freminet…”

‘But what if…?’

You grab your head and groan, “For the love of the Hydro Archon! Ughhhhh! Don’t let their gossip get to me, I beg of you Hydro Archon!”

‘Then again, Lady Furina would absolutely love this gossip and also demand answers….’

You quickly left the city, unable to handle all the crazy variations of gossip being spewed at every corner. You find yourself outside the walls of the city and sit by a ledge and admire the view of the open waters.

You felt at peace and in control. The wind gently swayed your hair and provided a comforting chill that you gladly welcomed while watching the birds play and fishes swimming about. The quiet noise of the waters rushing ashore then back to the ocean was also another relaxing variable.

You leaned over slightly to see your reflection in the water and admired it momentarily before your attention was snatched away by a fish that poked its head out of the water before quickly hiding again after being caught by you.

You giggled at the sight before heaving out a long sigh of relief. You had failed to notice someone approaching you with mischievous intent.

The figure slowly crept up behind you and gently tapped your left shoulder. You were caught off guard and quickly looked back to see who disturbed you.

“Bonjour mon ami! Enjoying the peace and tranquility?”

You sigh and go back to looking at the open waters of Fontain, “Mhm, I just needed to get away from society for a bit.”

Lyney tilts his head before asking, “Why is that? Anything unpleasant happened today?”

“Mmmm, I wouldn’t say unpleasant. It’s just ridiculous gossip going around and it’s just…”

Lyney hums, “it’s just…?”

You shook your head, “Really just dumb gossip that I could not handle. If I were to stay any longer, I too would’ve been part of the mob.”

He chuckles, “Was it that bad?”

You looked back at him with the intention of answering back but you zoned out very quickly. You began to wonder,

‘Do I tell him about what people are saying about him?’

You could see that Lyney gave you a concerned look.

‘Maybe I shouldn’t. It’s his life, not mine.’

“Are you ok?”

“Are you gay?” You blurted out.

Lyeny now had a very shocked look and you watched as you slowly began to process what you had just said.

Your face becomes flushed in embarrassment and quickly defend yourself, "Please ignore that! I didn't meant for that to come out, I–"

"So you were thinking if I was gay?" He asks in an amused tone.

"No-! I mean yes–! Wait no I–!"

You covered your face with your hands in shame. You groaned and refused to meet his mischievous gaze.

Lyney laughed heartily to your embarrassment. He wrapped his stomach with his arms as he hunched over, "Where did you get that assumption from~?"

You groaned, refusing to face him and tell him how you even stumbled upon this idea.

His laughter finally dies down. He wipes away a few tears before placing himself next to you on the ledge and grabs your left arm gently, "Look at me please~?"

You remain stiff and mumble quietly, "No…"

He sighs before removing your left hand from your face and cupping your face with his hands, forcing you to look his way.

You kept your eyes shut, stubbornly refusing to see his face. Lyney chuckles, finding amusement towards your behavior before he leans forward slowly…

You felt something soft touch your forehead which made you flinch at the unexpected feeling. You slowly peeled your eyes open, wondering what was touching your forehead and why Lyney had become quiet.

"Hey, what are you–"

You see Lyeny leaning over to your forehead giving it a gentle kiss. You quickly pulled away and your face immediately plunged into a deep shade of crimson.

You place your right hand onto your forehead and attempt to form a normal sentence but ultimately fail miserably.

Lyney flashes you his signature charming smile, "Does that provide an answer to your question~?"

"Huh…?"

He pouts, "Seems like I need to be a bit more upfront about this. Hmmmm, what to do~?"

Your mind was all over the place trying to make sense of the whole situation. Lyney could tell that you were caught off guard and still processing everything.

Lyney smirks and removes his hat and places it in front of you, "Look inside my hat, it's empty right?"

You snapped out of your trance and looked inside of his hat. It was indeed empty and you nodded silently.

He flips his hat before placing it upside down again and peering inside, "Oh it seems like there's something inside!"

He quickly places his hand inside and pulls out a bouquet of rainbow roses. He offers it to you and winks, "Let's go out on a romantic dinner date at Hotel Debord. You'll find the answer that you seek there~."

#genshin impact #fem!reader #fluff #romance #18+#comedy #crack #genshin impact lyney #lyeny #lyney x reader #lyney x y/n #fontaine #teyvat #oneshot #adventure #lyney and lynette #freminet #friends to lovers #genshin fanfic

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taisoleil · 9 months

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Saturn and Ancestors through the Houses

First off, Saturn is an elder. It brings upon lessons, but did you know that those blockages are actually coming from some things your ancestors already experienced? This is the “been there, done that” planet that already knows the pain you’re going through? Why so? Because pain and trauma, which is Saturnian in nature, is carried this way. To understand this we must understand what is a natal chart in the first place.

I got this piece inspiration awhile back from someone on tumblr talking about how our chart are how our parent felt about our birth and what they were experiencing. This information helps us understand not only ourselves, but them. So, why can’t we understand our ancestors through this very system? Saturn is also ruled by time where with wisdom, should come time.

Timelines aren’t as straightforward as you may think. This is why Saturn does so well in the 12H is because of the ability to understand how much time (Saturn) can be an illusion (12H). This is also why your past, current, and future life are all happening at the same time, and why you are your ancestors, and how they live within you. When you reminisce about trauma from the past it’s as if you’re living it in your present moment because of that timelines overlapping.

Saturn really deals with the ancestral trauma and generational curses we all deal with. This may not be something you’ve felt from family, but something you may even be carrying with you due to your lineage. There’s a lot of people in your bloodline, so you never know what you’re carrying until you ask or check in with yourself. More than likely, your family members have been through the same thing.

This post is archived on my site here: https://www.taisoleil.com/articles/2021/6/11/d9mj0oemzek40itx9fonl3cdtblpnw

Full interpretations are exclusively on my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/87216320?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

Saturn 1H: One may have felt like they weren’t good enough when it comes to family. A generational issue you may be dealing with is linked with the insecurity of not being enough.

Saturn 2H: Feeling financially held back and traumatized is something you may experience when it comes to your family. You may have an issue with trauma bonding when it comes to money because of the fear of losing it all.

Saturn 3H: Feeling like your ideas were never enough probably caused you to second guess your own abilities. Being able to learn and refine your ideas based on how life shifts is how you evolve. The slightest bit of disappointment shouldn’t shake that.

Saturn 4H: Not being able to have you to yourself may have been a problem. Being forced to grow up early to deal with adult life before you were even ready was probably a thing as well. This is a situation where you had higher standards projected on you than other people.

Saturn 5H: FUN??? In your household??? Probably not! You probably were told to pursue something more serious and steady, possibly stripping you or your own creativity. It probably is hard for you to get out of black and white thinking because you were told if it doesn’t make sense, it cannot possibly be valuable.

Saturn 6H: Speaking of work, aren’t y’all tired of doing that? Having to prove yourself based on how much you do isn’t doing much for you at all. You may have come from a family that is used to breaking their backs to maintain something only to get caught in a rat race they can’t get themselves out of.

Saturn 7H: Learning how to keep the right bonds may be important for you. As with anything in life, some bonds aren’t worth the energy based on the time we spend with people. Giving that many people that sort of lenience is a disservice to yourself.

Saturn 8H: Spending habits are going to be key from you. You may have been a family that was scared that you would miss out on something if you didn’t spend. The contrary to this is that even though money may have not been lost, in your day and age, every penny counts, and you weren’t taught frugality during an economic time where money was more available.

Saturn 9H: Don’t be afraid of new experiences. You may came from a family that didn’t do much. Didn’t venture out or try new things. Because of this, you may stay in your bubble or level of comfort zone that allows you the safety. The Sun finds joy in the 9H, and it can be an ego killer to find out you’ve been wrong about certain things.

Saturn 10H: High expectations can cause you to fold under pressure if you’re not careful. You may have come from a family that was expected of you to do everything even if that means forsaking what seemed to be unimportant.

Saturn 11H: Friendship and aspirations may be hard for you. Your family may have had terrible community/support/friends. People bringing you down is only going to regress your further if you’re not careful.

Saturn 12H: Your Saturn is in joy here. You may understand how to go about things better than others. Your ancestors may have figured it all out, and gave you the keys. Moving through your life, don’t doubt what you know. Instead, think more about what you can do with what you’ve learned.

#astrology #astro #astrology transits #transits #zodiac #astrology observations #ancestors #Saturn

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gallifreyanhotfive · 4 months

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Random Doctor Who Facts You Might Not Know, Part 7

While writing The Pirate Planet, Douglas Adams considered that Xanxia could be the Master or the Master's daughter when trying to figure out her motivations.

When he met his Ninth, Tenth, and Twelfth incarnations, the Eighth Doctor was pleased to see them acting as childish as ever.

While excavating Ice Warrior Citadels, Bernice Summerfield had sex with a man named Tim in the egg chamber.

The Second Doctor once saw the musical Hamilton.

Upon meeting the Twelfth Doctor, the Eleventh Doctor thought he was the Master.

Ace has dreamt of being naked and stabbing people before.

The Doctor was friends with Mao Zedong before he rose to power (although he "probably wouldn't listen" to the Doctor after his rise).

Om-Tsor is a drug that the Eighth Doctor once took A LOT of in order to telekinetically stop missiles.

The Second Doctor took Jamie back in time to kill a would-be dictator as a baby as well but was also unable to go through with it.

The Sixth Doctor once commented on his resemblance to Commander Maxil to Peri Brown.

According to the Eighth Doctor, an imminent regeneration feels like "a caterpillar wrapping itself in a chrysalis."

The Eleventh Doctor once said that regenerating in a morgue is something you should only do once.

After receiving word that the Master had died, the Fifth Doctor took Tegan and Turlough to his funeral in the nursing home he had died in. This was a trap, of course, and the Master tried to steal his remaining regenerations. Turlough had to save the Doctor.

As a Time Lord, the Doctor often has flashes of people's futures and could see someone's past when he looks at them.

The Seventh Doctor traveled alone as he got older because he couldn't trust himself with another life.

The role of Sarah Jane Smith was originally cast to April Walker rather than Elisabeth Sladen, but Walker was found to not have chemistry with Pertwee and was thus quietly paid for the contract she had signed on for. Neither Barry Letts nor Sladen ever revealed who the other Sarah Jane was during their lifetimes, and her name was only uncovered by an infotext writer during his research.

The Doctor's psychic potential is so great that even after his final incarnation's death his corpse generated a psychic call for a long time.

In several accounts, the Sixth Doctor killed himself, either after having been convinced to do so by his Seventh self, purposefully piloting the TARDIS into the Rani's tractor beam, sacrificing his chronal energy, etc. Colin Baker finds the exercise bike theory to be very disappointing (so out of respect for him, I do not consider that a possibility).

The Doctor was taught how to perform hypnosis by the Master.

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28

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manicpixiefelix · 25 days

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head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}

Part 22.

Summary: After mostly resolving your issues regarding Oliver and Venetia, it's much easier to enjoy the time leading up to the dinner with the Henrys. Still, Oliver seems more than a little nervous to be around you and Felix, much to Felix's ongoing chagrin. He wonders how long it will take for Oliver to take the hint.

{ masterpost }

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

A/N: 3044 words. oh yeah, its all coming together. :) i know the last few updates have been kind of spaced out, so i'd love to get some feedback from you lovely folks about how you think it's coming along now that we're in the back half.

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

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One day - probably one day soon - you'd have to tell Felix the truth about Oliver and Venetia. By that time, you reasoned, you'd have come up with a way to say it that would make him see why you hadn't called Oliver out for lying, and why you'd kept it from him. His gut reaction, like your own, was to immediately jump to the worst possible, malevolent conclusion. Based on past events, it was a sound conclusion to jump to. But Oliver's not Eddie. It was a moment of weakness, and Oliver really does love Felix. Somehow you'd find a way to make this painless, perhaps even a way to show how much Oliver cared, because that's what you'd seen, that's the why behind your own deception.

Except Felix wasn't even ready to admit out loud to himself, let alone you, or god forbid Oliver, that he genuinely felt that way about him. Even if he definitely, clearly did. But again, past heartbreak makes some of his trepidation far more excusable.

At least you have a distraction for the afternoon - not Oliver, no, he would never be so bold in direct sunlight as to do anything more than make out with you on the pool lounge. No, this distraction wasn't a particularly good one.

The NDA from your parents, sitting in your study.

Part of you knows you should probably have a lawyer look over this, but there was something about the idea of involving yet another person in your parents ongoing attempts to abandoned you that left a sour taste in your mouth. So that left you to look over it all on your own. The sticky-hot afternoon in the study wears thin on your nerves, but irritation was all that ever came of it, not upset or disappointment. Reconciling with Oliver probably had quite a bit to do with it.

Dinner is a welcome reprieve. When Oliver smiles at you across the table, there's a weight that's lifted from your shoulders are you smile back. Felix too is in notably high spirits, though he's decidedly not talking to Venetia; his parents don't seem to mind, however, as long as he's happier than when he'd started the day.

"Is there anything planned for after dinner?" Oliver asked, eyes wide and earnest as he looks around the table, all present sharing an equally confused look as if one of them may have planned something all the others had forgotten.

"Not as far as I'm aware," Sir James offers after a moment.

"Tomorrow will be quite the busy night," Elspeth elaborates with ease, "I'm sure we'd all like to conserve our energy."

"Last chance to cancel dinner with the Henrys," Felix says, already knowing it's not a real option, even after Elspeth chides him for the suggestion, that they'd already had all the food brought and extra help hired.

"Has the seating chart been organised yet?" You asked hopefully, to which Elspeth smiled when her gaze landed upon you, assuring you she'd finalised it that afternoon, turning only to remind Duncan to have it delivered to your study that evening.

"You'll be seated next to Henry of Suffolk, dear," she also tells you, and immediately you're filing that information away in the back of your mind. Henry of Suffolk, partner at Richmond & Suffolk Legal; his late wife was named Clarice, he had a daughter and son a few years younger than you... their names escaped you at that moment.

Beside you, Felix is shamelessly admiring you.

"What?" You ducked your head to try and hide your embarrassed grin.

"Just watching your mind work," he teased with a laugh which had you rolling your eyes with fond exasperation.

"So you can see the cogs too then?" Venetia giggles across the table, though Farleigh chimes in before Felix has the chance to give his sister a look.

"Surprised there's not steam coming out of their ears."

"I'm not a robot," you insisted, flustered by the attention and their combined teasing.

"Just your beautiful brain then," Oliver adds fondly, and out of sheer surprise you look up to meet his endeared gaze as he looks back at you. When had he been let in on that particular joke, you wondered? Something in the back of your mind is sure that it was Venetia, after all, she was the one who most often referred to your 'robot brain' as such, but you don't have it in you to be upset. You never do at these jokes, even though you may occasionally protest about them, they're always intended as a compliment.

And there's no way you could be mad with Oliver looking at you like that.

Dinner continues on with very little fuss after that, and you return to your study feeling much lighter than you had before. Felix joins you, complaining about how you'd spent all afternoon in here, and he couldn't bare to think of you spend all evening alone in here too. Of course he knows that Oliver will more than likely join you when it gets late enough, but he's brought a book, and has quietly claimed the sofa beneath the window for himself. These nights have never been uncommon, but this Summer has seemed especially busy at Saltburn, so you more than welcome his quiet company as the day's heat slowly burns away.

It's not long before there's someone approaching your door.

"It's Duncan," you say, mostly for Felix's benefit, before the butler himself knocks and you invite him in.

"The seating arrangements for tomorrow night's event, Captain," Duncan says graciously, giving you the faintest smile as he hands the document over and turns swiftly on his heel, practically evaporating into the darkness of the house silently.

"Still have no idea how you do that," Felix sounds rather impressed from where he's draped himself over the sofa.

"Do what?" You asked distractedly, examining the seating chart in the golden glow of the lamp.

"How you know exactly who's coming and going without even seeing them."

"Duncan was just being courteous for me," you mutter off-handily, "if I'd heard nothing before he'd knocked, I'd still know it was him."

"You know that's even more impressive, right?" Felix laughs, and finally you turn to him, only to see him watching you like he can't quite believe what you're saying. Sometimes you find yourself surprised by the Cattons, and how little they seem to understand or appreciate about the Estate on which they live.

"No, what's impressive is that I can tell what kind of mood your in half the time just by the sound of your footsteps," you tells him with a grin.

"Now you're lying," Felix snorts, shaking his head. But you continue.

"No, seriously Fi, it's not always entirely accurate, but it's pretty close; I'm not quite there with the rest of your family, but I think I know you well enough."

"That's like, stalker levels of dedication," but his smile is bright in the light of the moon, and his tone turns teasing, "do you have a thing for me or something?"

"I wouldn't go that far," you huffed a laugh, playing along with the bit.

"Shame," he sighed dramatically, "I was really hoping you did, 'cos I kind of have a thing for you."

"I wouldn't if I were you," finally standing, you sauntered over to him, smirking as he beamed up at you, thoroughly pleased by this silly little bit, "that sounds like a scandal waiting to happen."

"Call the tabloids then," Felix laughed softly as he welcomed you into his arms.

"Any stalker-like tendencies of yours I should be worried about?" You asked, settling against him, leaning into him.

"Yeah, I've got a bunch of your things in my room," Felix murmurs right before you kiss him, grinning as you do so. Things devolve from there to the two of you making out in the moonlight, giggling together, teasing nonsense passed back and forth as the moon rose higher in the sky.

"Ollie's at the door," you see fit to finally tell Felix, who looks down at you with wide, surprised eyes. Sheepishly you admit, "he's been there for like five minutes." It's getting terribly late, but you really don't want to go bed right now, or go anywhere that isn't here, in this moment. Felix snorts a laugh, face scrunching up with something close to embarrassment; he knows letting Oliver get away with this kind of thing is part of the game you're all playing, but it still catches him off guard with just how aware you were of the whole situation.

"Ollie," Felix called out, and you both heard a him start behind the study door, "Christ, mate, don't linger," he insists, righting both him and yourself to something more respectable on the sofa, but still insisting on holding you close, "come in already." You're practically in his lap.

Like a deer in the headlights, looking absolutely mortified at being caught out, Oliver pushes the door open and faintly apologises, telling you both he didn't want to interrupt.

"Interrupt what?" Felix says far too easily, smile wide and a bit coy, "nothing to interrupt," though you can hear it for what it is; nothing you, Oliver, could ever interrupt if you simply asked to join. How long would it take Oliver to realise this, you wondered; Felix is getting less subtle by the day.

"I was going to ask -" Oliver pauses, focus stolen by the way Felix presses a kiss to your shoulder, before his gaze returns to your face, your expectant smile. Felix knows exactly what he's doing, "um, was going to ask about the seats for the dinner tomorrow?" Oliver manages, "I don't... know the Henrys?"

As you stand, Felix lets out a loud, disappointed sigh, but lets you go, returning to his book. Every movement, every sound Felix makes captivates Oliver in this moment, and both you and Felix are more than aware of this. Still, you swan over to your desk, looking over the seating chart before you usher Oliver over.

"They've got you next to Ven and Lady Daphne," you show him, pointing out his place along the table, "she's Henry's wife," you add wryly, and hear Felix bark a laugh behind you. Oliver, for a moment, seems confused, gaze flicking between you both.

"Aren't all the -?"

"That's the joke, Ollie," you tell him, but he still seems too nervous to properly see the humour in it, just making a faint noise of understanding in the back of his throat. "Did you want to hang out for a bit?" You offered, "this contract's doing my head in," you flicked at the thick contract on your desk dismissively, "so I'm probably going to get stuck into something lighter, but you know we always love your company."

"Thanks, but, uh," Oliver hesitated, looking to Felix again, "I think I'm gonna turn in for the night."

"Okay," you say sunnily, leaning over to give him a quick peck on the lips, which seems to startle him, "hope you sleep well, Ollie."

"Yeah," Oliver still seems to be reeling from the brief show of affection, "you too."

"Good night, mate," Felix offers with a cheery wave.

"You going to kiss me good night too?" Oliver sounds almost dazed, and suddenly looks mortified once more, like he can't quite believe he'd said that. Felix, unphased, stands and makes his way over to you both.

"Sure," he seems to take the suggestion in stride, kissing the top of Oliver's head before he bends to quickly kiss him on the lips. For a moment after Felix has pulled back, Oliver's look at him like he's staring at the sun, and Felix is wearing a sharp, knowing smile, "'night, Ollie," he says, quieter this time.

"G'night, Felix," Oliver murmurs, making his way to the door as Felix nonchalantly reaches to take the seating chart from your hand to look it over for himself. You, however, watch Oliver go, feeling both helpless and amused all at once.

"You think if I fuck him he'll take the hint?" Felix asks quietly once the door was shut, and you'd both heard Oliver's door squeak closed for the night.

"Do you think if you fuck him you'll take the hint," you asked disbelievingly, "that man is so into you, Fi," you hissed, almost furiously wide-eyed as you looked up at him. As always, Felix responds dismissively.

"Told you I'm not saying anything until he does," Felix puts the document down, choosing instead to drape his arms over your shoulders, "we can fuck around all Summer for all I care, but you know I'm not going to hold my breath for things to get more serious unless he tells me."

"He just asked you to kiss him, Felix!"

"I wasn't in love with you when we first kissed."

"Bad example; yes you were."

"Okay, bad example, yes I was," Felix admits with a faint flush, "but for the record, I didn't think I was at the time; we were twelve," he regains his composure quickly, "but it's not like you're in love with Farleigh or my sister; yeah, I know you love them, but you're not in love with them."

"That's different, Fi, we've been fucking around since forever," you sighed, resting your head against him for a moment.

"It's not different," Felix insists, "I just-" but he paused, and when you chance a look up at him, his face is scrunched up, like he's on the verge of admitting something he really doesn't want to, "I don't want to be getting my hopes up if it's just fucking around with Ollie, you know?" It comes out far more frustrated than you'd anticipated, and though you pat his back comfortingly, you can't help but add -

"He drank your bathwater."

"He fucking watched me get myself off and didn't even do anything about it until after it happened! And not even with me!" Felix points out, sounding almost like a petulant child, "I left the fucking door open and everything!" He's pouting now, actually pouting.

"He probably thinks that if he's too forward he'll scare you off, or your parents will kick him out or something," you tried to reason with him, to which Felix groaned.

"But they won't! You saw how much they loved Eddie, fucking hell," he huffed, stepping back, now wearing a scowl. Where had this night turned to something unfortunate? "Mum would throw a fucking parade if I got a boyfriend who wasn't a cheating dickhead."

"You should tell Oliver that," you pointed out frankly, "or at the very least tell him the truth about things with Eddie, so he knows that you do more than just fuck around with pretty boys."

Everything suddenly goes very still.

"What?" There's no frown, no anger anywhere on Felix's face, just pure surprise, "do you think he thinks that?" You watch Felix re-evaluate the entire situation, giving him space to sort out his feelings, "I made it clear I'm into guys too- do you think he thinks -"

"I think," slowly, carefully, you step up to Felix, voice firm but kind, "that despite how much he's seen you fuck around with other people on campus, the only person you are actually in love with is me," Felix is quiet, looking down at you with this crestfallen look like he's disappointed in himself, "and he, like most people I'll remind you, probably assumes that if he wants you to look at him like you look at me, it'll be a competition."

"Of course it's not, that's so stupid," Felix muttered reflexively.

"I've tried to tell Ollie that," you sighed, wrapping an arm around him. Felix presses his face into your hair for a very long moment.

"What if he doesn't, though?" Comes through muffled and forlorn. You're not quite sure what he means, and thankfully Felix continues, not that he moves his face at all, "what if it is just fucking around and we've misread all of this; I can't tell him I actually love him too, I'd look like an absolute freak."

"Tell him about Eddie," you advised softly, "at least he'll get the hint that you're capable of falling in love with someone who isn't me." The reminder of Eddie would always probably ache, you're starting to come to realise. For now, however, you ignore it.

Felix hugs you tightly, and mumbles that you're probably right. Something eases in your chest at that.

Curled up together in bed not ten minutes later, neither your pyjamas or duvet are as comfortable or warm as Felix's arm around you. He's still deep in thought about the night that had just passed; when he muses that at least it was a better talk than the night before, he sounds like he's still making his mind up about that. Settling into sleep, however, you're contented knowing it was true.

The following morning feels comparatively serene, chattering away to the rest of the family about the night's coming festivities. Both you and Felix drop a quick kiss to the top of Oliver's head in passing on your way to collect breakfast - Farleigh's the only one who notices, and he rolls his eyes at you both. Venetia asks you what you'll be wearing to the event and lights up when you tell her it's the jumpsuit she'd bought you from Yves Saint Laurent for your last birthday, while Elspeth coos that you'll look just darling in it.

After yesterday morning's tenseness, getting to work in your garden, planting the flowers that had arrived for you, music playing cheerily through your little speaker, it feels like a dream. The sun is warm against your back, and for some weird reason you think you see Oliver skulking around in one of the gardens by the wall of the house. Lurking again. Probably habit more than anything else, you figured. Considering the games you've been playing with him, you don't see the need to discourage that kind of behaviour. He's by the window of one of the little libraries; you wonder what must be going on in there to have caught his attention.

Oh well, you'll ask later if you remember.

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