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hansolmates · 7 years

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vernon; the boy next door (m)

genre/warnings: fluff/romance/smut, flangst, adorkableness, use of non-penetrative sex toys, (not so) dry humping

word count: 14737

feat: Hansol Vernon Chwe/Original Female, Joshua, Jeonghan + various

prompts: roommate!Vernon, silliness, cuddles, mac n’cheese = love

(a/n) my birthday project for my muse. thank you for everything vern:) and kisses for @vernkn who gifed my soft sweater vernon aesthetic. enjoy!

She loved Joshua Hong.

When she was so graciously offered to live in her aunt’s vacation penthouse close to her university of choice, the only catch was that she had to pay some of the bills. Completely fair, because it was a kind enough gesture to give away a freshly furnished space to a niece you barely talked to. Luckily, there was enough room for another guest, enough to split the rent.

So in comes the savior of her life, brother from another mother, Joshua Hong, decked out in sandy beige Sperry’s and ironed white jeans. Fresh from South California, he wore their sunshine on his smile, and their attitude in his Cheshire eyes. He was attending the same university as well, and was conveniently looking for a means to stay. Needless to say, she pounced on him at orientation before he could ask anyone else.

They got along gracefully. They alternated between making dinner and doing dishes whenever it wasn’t take out (thin crust pizza was the ultimate favorite) and they put up socks on their doors for a polite “do not disturb”. To top it all off, they made sure to have a couple core classes together for some solid study buddy time. They passed their classes with relative ease (aside from Korean Grammar, which sucked for the both of them). It wasn’t until two years into their wonderful routine that Joshua had to break the spell.

“I think I’m going back to California next semester, for study abroad.” he said over dinner, cheeks glowing with excitement.

After he said those words, she wasn’t so sure if she loved him anymore.

She knew that this was ultimately the case, in fact she had helped him fill out the application and typed out a student recommendation for him. UCLA was begging for Joshua to come back home, and he theoretically already had his bags packed and ready to go. She knew Joshua was homesick, and she was too, but if Joshua could heal before senior year, she wasn’t going to stop him from going.

Rolling her peas from one sector of the plate to another, she glowered, “Can’t you just take me with you?” she sighed dramatically in an attempt to feign nonchalance, even though she honestly wasn’t feeling hungry anymore. She was going to lose her study buddy, and best friend after the fall semester ended. She didn’t even want to think about finding another roommate this late in the year.

“I know you’re going to miss me, who wouldn’t,” she shot him a playful glare, “But I already got everything covered, heck, I even got you a new roommate until I come back.”

She ceased the food race on her green veggies and looked up with deliberate slowness, as if he were being interrogated. “Wait, you found someone already?”

“Yeah,” he replied easily, taking a delicate sip of water.

“Did you do a background check? No criminal record, drug dealings, unpaid parking tickets?”

“Trust me. He’s cool.”

“Josh, your version of cool is watching reruns of Full House on a Friday night, with ice cream and your boxers. Which is hella cool,” she giggled, reminiscing the times they’d laze around in over-sized sweaters, too numb to move as they recovered from midterms. “But can he clean?”

“Well, no. He’s kind of messy like you.”

“Oh great. We’re going to have a storm in here.”

“Just please, give him a chance? I owe him and I promised him the space for the semester. He’s pretty chill and I think you guys will get along!”

She glowered at his pleading gaze, hating the way Joshua can turn anyone into the enemy with that puppy-eyed stare and his pouty lips. She was just being bitter and nitpicky, they both knew that. In fact she was relieved that Joshua took the initiative and already found someone to fill up the space so she wouldn’t have to.

With a playfully flippant sigh, she said, “Alright Josh, he can live here. But if this guy starts pulling some horror movie shit in the middle of the night, I’m dragging your ass back here and you’ll be swimming from L.A.”

Joshua giggled, eating a lot more animatedly once he received her approval. “Don’t worry, Vernon’s cool.” he promised.

The enigmatic Vernon came gradually. He came in the form of the most random things, an old studio mixer Joshua needed help bringing in one day after class, and the day after it was a whole cardboard box filled with yellowed soft covers, all in English. Just yesterday, Joshua brought up a whole plastic shelf filled with flannels in what seemed like twelve different patterns and colors, along with a bottomless pit of over-sized shirts and sweaters. She had asked why Vernon didn’t bring his stuff to the apartment himself, and Joshua promptly responded that he’d come the day he’d leave.

“Why,” Joshua teased from his spot on the floor, opening up another box which was filled to the brim with baseball caps and snap-backs. “I thought you didn’t care about him.”

“I don’t,” she huffed, rolling off Joshua’s bed to help him unpack. “I just want to ask him why he has so much stuff.”

It was just plain annoying to have some random stranger’s things lying around her apartment, so she caved and helped Joshua move some of the things in his room. And yes, she was curious. When she put Vernon’s novels in some semblance of order on the shelves, her fingers would trail over the bent spines of his books, the yellowed glue beyond repair. And while she didn’t mind putting his flannels in the closet, the musky vanilla scent of his cologne still lingered on the collars and it was haunting her.

“Don’t worry, you’ll ask him soon enough.” Joshua cooed, pulling out his own suitcases to make room for her new roommate.

And finally, finally he arrived. The mystery named Hansol Vernon Chwe, was about to be solved. It was an ungodly hour in January, considering the new semester wouldn’t start for another two weeks. A loud beep from the security lock roused her, immediately regretting that she didn’t bother closing her bedroom door the night before. The sound echoed rudely past her duvet, and she suppressed a groan, stuffing her pillows against her head. She knew Joshua had a noon flight, and she needed to say goodbye, no matter how comfy her mattress was.

Rolling out of bed as quietly as possible, she sighed, attempting to make herself look presentable.

“Dude, how’re things? NYU treated you well?” she heard Joshua ask from the living room, extra pep lining his voice.

“Yeah, man. It was dope, real cool.” Vernon’s voice was nice, she noted, like molten honey. “A lot of shit’s been going on there, so take care of yourself, alright?”

“Don’t worry, I will.” she could only imagine the way Joshua’s eyes would curl up at the sweet comment. “And could you do me a favor, and take care of her? She doesn’t need taking care of, but she just make sure she doesn’t completely lose her mind over school.”

She snorted, running her hands through her hair as she checked her reflection one more time. This was the best it was going to get at 7AM, she shrugged. Vernon would just have to get used to her looking like a hot mess. Not giving the poor guy a chance to answer, she swung the door open, already prepared to give Joshua a snippy reply.

But what she wasn’t prepared for, was that Vernon was absolutely beautiful.

He looked up from their large couch, his amber eyes wide and attentive as he took in her pajama-clad figure. She felt the heat bloom on her cheeks, suddenly feeling terribly underdressed in her old sweater and leggings. How the hell was she going to live with this for a whole semester?

Vernon was the first to get up, meeting each other halfway as they shook hands. “Mornin’, I’m Vernon. When Josh told me about the apartment, I didn’t expect it to be a penthouse. It’s really nice.”

His palm was big and warm, and she bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from looking too frazzled. “Thank you,” she said, side eyeing Joshua who was sitting comfortably in the back. “It’s awesome to finally meet you.”

“Same, bro, same.” he chirped, flashing her a genuine smile, twinkling his pearly whites.

“Well, I got a plane to catch.” Joshua interrupted, unable to hide the happy grin filling his face. He was even dressed for the occasion, in a powder blue button down with a matching serenity long coat. His luggage was already lined at the door, only one carryon backpack and one larger luggage, because the rest of his stuff would be at his house in California.

That was enough for her to tear her gaze away from Vernon, and moved from her standing position, throwing herself over Joshua’s body. He made an “oomf” as they collapsed on the couch, the soft material causing them to sink like quicksand. She was probably wrinkling his ironed shirt and making him feel a tad guilty for leaving her behind, but living with Joshua Hong for two years kept you attached like a cat to its nip.

“Josh!” she cried dramatically, hugging him tightly. “I’m going to miss you, so freakin’ much.”

He laughed, the melodic sound tinkling in her ears as he softly pushed her away. “Stop making me feel bad, I’m not dying or anything!” he pulled her up, forcing her to get her jacket and shoes as he and Vernon were already doing the same. “Now quit being a terrible best friend and drop me off at school.”

“Don’t be so bummed now that it’s just me, I’m hurt.” Vernon piped in, clutching his heart with feigned disappointment. “I’ll take you to breakfast after, Josh mentioned you like pancakes?” he asked, already making a beeline to hold the door for her, with Joshua’s luggage rolling in his wrist.

Pancakes? If it was possible for Joshua to look any more oblivious, he would’ve been whistling and taking a dandy stroll down the hall like it was a cheap Disney knockoff. Sneaky Joshua gave her a side-eye, one that said, I know that look. It made her stomach flutter with an influx of freshly blooming butterflies, and she fought the urge to slap the smug grin off of his pretty little face. Flashing a forced smile to Vernon she managed to say, “That sounds great!” before throwing on her jacket, roughly zipping the fabric up to her neck as if she could disappear from her own embarrassment. For Joshua Hong’s last moments in Seoul, he wanted to reduce her to a humiliating mess.

The goodbyes were a happy affair, fortunately. Since Joshua’s family was waiting for him back home, he was probably the only Study Abroad student without a familial support system. It was just her and Vernon, giving Joshua much needed brofists and warm hugs. While she did have to blink more than necessary to shove away the tears that threatened to prick her eyes, she was happy for Joshua. UCLA was a great school, and she knew he’d have the time of his life there. She was going to support him to the very end, even if it was a billion miles away. When Joshua boarded the student bus to the airport, she and Vernon waved like idiots until that big bus got smaller and smaller.

Vernon and her stood standing at the University Gates, letting the rest of the farwellers glide by them like they weren’t even there. With Joshua gone and a full day ahead, she let her muddled thoughts solidify in her brain like hardened concrete. She was living with Vernon, for an entire semester, and it was all Joshua Hong’s fault.

Dammit, Josh. She shivered, shoving her hood over her forehead. Was it too late to sprint and catch that bus?

“It’s getting cold, should we go inside?” Vernon asked lightly, his eyes still focused on the open road. His hands were deep in his pockets, waving back and forth between the empty spaces in his heather grey sweatpants. He looked at her with a warm expression, tilting his head to generously meet her height. “I promised pancakes, right?”

She couldn’t help the slow smile that wormed its way onto her lips, the sharp air feeling a tinge warmer than it was five seconds before he spoke. “Yeah, there’s a good place back home, actually.” she replied, taking the first step.

He immediately synced up with her footing, falling into place like an eager child.

“That barista,” Vernon whistled, elbowing her in the shoulder. “Was totally checking you out.”

“Are you kidding me?” she stage-whispered, using her napkin to smother her giggles. “He was totally checking you out.”

He gave her a funny face, cocking a threaded eyebrow and his smile tight and toothless. It only made her laugh harder. And it was absolutely adorable how his face pinked at the thought. “Well, he couldn’t be looking at me, since it was you who picked up the food. I was sitting here.” he huffed, his brows furrowed in forced frustration.

“But you went up to order the food. His eyes followed you all the way here.”

“He did not.” he stuck his tongue out, before shoving another helpful of strawberry pancakes in his mouth. She didn’t answer however, opting to lay back on her side of the booth with her arms folded over each other. Vernon’s chewing slowed, his cheeks comically full of pancakes, expanding like balloons as he turned his head to the storefront.

The barista in conversation was attracting the two of them like a honey bee to pollen. More curiosity on Vernon’s part, and more forced encouragement on her part. A little part of her didn’t really find much attraction to Barista Boy, no matter how cute he was, because she already had an amazing roommate right in front of her. Living with Vernon for the past few days was nice, to say the least. He was nothing but polite and sweet to her, even though she insisted that he could goof off and be grumpy in the morning if he really felt that way. He was infallibly kind, and even let her use the bathroom first every morning and night. Her heart couldn’t take the kindness, it was unreal. She was half-tempted to call Joshua and ask how on earth did he manage to get someone like Vernon to live with her, but decided that she could handle it on her own, at least for now.

Today was the last day they would be having pancakes here, they promised themselves after three days of self-indulgence. One yummy, carb-saturated breakfast before they went grocery shopping for the new semester.

The barista was bussing a table next to theirs, the onyx of his fringe reflecting the morning sunlight as he rubbed lemon sanitizer over the linoleum.

“I mean, he’s good looking.” Vernon shrugged, taking another stab at his pancakes before realizing he was already done with his plate. His lower lip jutted out in a burst of sadness, and he looked up through his copper lashes to hers, gesturing to her half-eaten plate.

She rolled her eyes, but slid the plate closer to him, knowing she probably wouldn’t finish everything anyway. Vernon greedily accepted the confection, and started cutting up another layer of ruby syruped pancakes. “Yeah, he is. Don’t know if I’d ask him out though, he looks a little sassy if you ask me.” she said tartly.

Vernon snorted, “How can you tell?” he asked, stabbing his fork into the last bits of the plate. The metal went through a large, juicy strawberry. He didn’t hesitate when he held it out to her, “You want the last one?”

“Sure.” she said, but once she reached out for the fork, he pulled back.

“Only if you ask the coffee guy out.” he teased.

“What, no way!”

“Excuse me. I have your bill.”

Both parties shut their mouths at the acidic drawl, coupled with a forced smile that chilled both their spines deep in the bone. The barista stood like a mannequin in the exact center of his table, pulling out a receipt from his neatly tied apron.

Vernon was the first to react, gratefully taking the slip of paper, “Thanks, man.”

“And for the record, if you’re going to talk about me please do it quietly. You’ve been staring for the past ten minutes. I know I’m good looking but hearing you two is terribly distracting.” and then he made a sharp turn on his heel, and sauntered back to his place behind the counter.

The pair could only gape at the barista like guppies until he was finally out of earshot, and they busted into a fit of laughter, their heads leaning as close as they possibly could with the table between them.

“You’re right, he is sassy.” Vernon said, relinquishing the last strawberry to her.

When Vernon first moved in, she told him he could slack off with the niceties. It was okay if he forgot to brush his teeth, or get angry over nothing, or even fart around the house. She didn’t think after a month and a half into it, he’d slack off that way.

But here he was, eating cereal in front of the television in nothing but his boxers.

Their building’s central air system was undergoing maintenance today, causing the apartment to become unnecessarily hot and dry. That wasn’t much of a problem, whoever got up first could crack open a couple windows and call it a day. But Vernon didn’t seem to mind the extra heat one bit.

She however, was absolutely burning.

She didn’t notice at first, because she was incredibly invested in getting some breakfast before she could function like a human being. But looking up from the kitchen counter top, she was lucky to cap the milk in time when she spotted Vernon watching cartoons on the couch, completely and utterly in his element as he munched on Cheerios half-naked.

Water droplets clung to his chocolate locks, which were drying in a frizzy mess due to his natural waves. The moisture rolled off the tips of his hair like morning dew, landing in the dive of his pale collarbones.

He wasn’t terribly fit or anything, or had bulging muscles that could proverbially punch her in the face. But there were lines, definitive lean muscle that streamlined from the little pop in his biceps to the trace of abs that led to the dip in his red, white and blue boxers. Under all those soft hoodies and graphic shirts, were a set of broad shoulders that seemed to carry an unknown strength that could be overlooked at first glance. And his thighs, oh his thighs.

It caused her thighs to press tightly in response, the subconscious action that had her choking mid-bite on her own serving of Cheerios. She couldn’t believe herself, as she played off her spazzing by downing a glass of water. How could this man still be attractive when he’s just eating cereal, bobbing his head back and forth to the Spongebob theme song? Joshua used to walk around their apartment half-naked all the damn time, and she never felt the tingly heat that was practically disintegrating her panties into ash.

Her form of payback was probably a petty, lowest of the low comeback, but it was all she had. It was way too early for her to feel even remotely sexy, especially living with someone who always looked sexy without even trying, but she had to try. Tugging the sleep-shirt off her body in one swift pull, she balled up the worn cotton and bounded forward, throwing it in Vernon’s face.

He sputtered, effectively breaking the glazed, bleary-eyed stare he always had when watching mind-numbing television. He ripped the fabric off his face, and didn’t even notice that her sleeve was now drowning in his bowl of milk. “What did you do that for?” he asked, looking up at her for the first time today.

His jaw opened slightly at the sight of her, drinking in her body like she was the last drop of water on earth. She bit her lip to contain the swell of pride as he took in the scarlet lace bralette that covered her breasts, and the matching pair of cherry briefs that hugged every inch of her hips. His blushed matched her underwear like a carbon copy, dusting his cheeks and the shell of his ears. Vernon couldn’t even look at her in the eye, or take in another breath, for that matter.

She raised a brow, and with an air of confidence she had never felt before she said simply, “It too hot.”

And she sauntered away, with a little wiggle in her hips as she went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Once she was positive Vernon couldn’t watch her she let out an exhaustive breath she didn’t realize she was holding in, collapsing against the door. Her eyes glazed over the pearls of water still rolling on the shower glass, fresh from Vernon’s usage a half hour ago. She sighed at her too-damp underwear, leaning a hand to switch the handle to the hottest possible setting. She needed a reprieve, badly.

“Wanna watch Sing Street?” Vernon asked one morning, pouring some apple juice in a glass cup.

The sun was a strong yellow-white against the penthouse, the curtains separated all the way to feed in from the edge of the window to the end of the hallway. It showed the disarray of papers that littered their coffee table, one half for her and the other half for his homework for the week. In the corner, there was a weathered leather journal, the burgundy burlap frayed at the corners and a hotel pen stuck dab in a dog-eared page.

She pulled her thick novel down, only far enough for him to see her eyes which were dull with disinterest. “I have to finish this book by tomorrow, and you have a Media Writing draft due by midnight. And I know you’re not done with it.” she chastised lightly, lifting the book back up.

“Gee, thanks Mom.” Vernon slumped from the counter, his elbows falling like limp noodles against the black marble. “But may I propose that watching movies may be conclusive to my learning? They inspire me.” he tried pointedly, lifting his nose in the air.

“You said that last night.” she drolled, her eyes tacked to the same five words that she had been reading for the past five minutes upon talking to him. He was terribly distracting. “And the night before.”

“I just haven’t found the right movie yet.” he argued with a pout, but he already knew that this conversation was futile on his end.

She sighed dramatically, a smirk pulling on the corners of her lips as she folded the book against her armrest, and patted the free space next to her. “C’mon, the only way you can get through your writer’s block is if you keep writing. Nothing’s going to change if you don’t try.”

“But you’ve read all my stuff this past weekend. They all suck.”

“The ‘pull up on your wacks’ line wasn’t the best one, but it’s a start?” she started to get frustrated, she knew if Vernon wasn’t going to work he’d keep prodding at her to procrastinate with him. And if she left him here to sort it out for himself, he definitely would be holding it off until an hour before the due date. “Now can you please sit here and try?”

“I’m stressed! This class wants me to pump out lyrics like I’m a factory!” he genuinely did look fried, his face paler than normal and god knows when the last time it was since he brushed his hair properly.

“Then take a nap.”

A little lightbulb went off in his head, and Vernon didn’t have to confirm or deny his next actions when he skidded in his orange tube socks across the kitchen and into the living room. He swung his arms back and forth like a top, the long arms of his baby pink sweater dangling past his hands like tentacles. He hovered over the couch, tilting his head at the book she was trying to read, hoping she’d get the message. Unable to stay strong under his gaze, she folded the book between her fingers, and looked up.

“Can I put my head in your lap?” he asked innocently, his lower lip worried in a pout.

She squinted her stare at his big brown eyes, expressively vulnerable and absolutely desperate for a way to relax. How could she say no to that face? Her eyes drifted to her lap, thankfully covered by a large pair of cotton sweatpants. Propping her feet on the coffee table for support, she patted her thighs. “Knock yourself out.” she murmured, trying to remain as nonchalant as possible.

Vernon dove on the couch, a small grin on his face. He moved like an eager puppy, falling unceremoniously on the beige cushions as he let his long legs dangle off one arm. His head descended with a feather-like slowness on her plush thighs, looking up at her.

“Hi.” he chirped.

“Hey.”

“So, nice view from down here.”

She bumped his nose lightly with the spine of her book, causing him to wrinkle his face in a cute scrunch. “Can I read now, Vernon?” He let his head settle into a comfier position, and he nodded, letting his eyes flutter shut.

It was hard to concentrate at first, with the way he looked so handsome with his long copper lashes fluttering closed, and the worry lines dissipating into his forehead. A tender smile wormed its way onto her face, the kind of smile she could only show when he wouldn’t notice. With her one hand holding her book, her other started to tap awkwardly on her side until she decided to just fuck it and run her hands through his messy whiskey tinted tresses. It was rough with peachy scented pomade, but soft enough to not get any painful snags.

He hummed in appreciation, a semi-conscious plea for her to continue. She did so gladly, her nails treading light patterns along his scalp as she read through her novel. His weight on her lap was welcoming, and in fact she would probably let him sleep on her lap until her legs were blue and numb if it all so pleased him.

Not an hour hour later that Vernon started shifting in her lap, looking well-rested. She felt the blood return briefly to her thighs as he tilted his head back and forth, and her hand managed to re-thread between his hair. She played with the strands absentmindedly as she let him rouse.

A gummy smile melted on his lips, eyes still fluttered shut. “Mm, s’feels good.” he murmured, his throat thick with sleep.

Like little hazel fans his eyes gradually blinked open, and she smiled wryly as her eyes met his caramel ones. “Are you well rested, Sleeping Beauty?”

“Well I don’t know about beauty, but like I said it’s a pretty nice view from down here.” he chuckled, his voice rumbly. He threw a hand over his eyes, covering the remnants of sunlight as it ticked to noon. Her hand still lingered on his oakwood hair, since he seemed to like it when she continued. “Can you do me another favor, Best Roommate in the Universe?” he asked hopefully. “My notebook is by your foot, can you give it to me?”

She scoffed, pushing her top half forward to grab the book on the edge of the glass coffee table. She felt her stomach curl up by Vernon’s face, who for some reason refused to move from his spot on her lap. She hoped he couldn’t feel the palpable fire in her body when she felt his nose press into the dip between her stomach. Grabbing the leather by the spine, she placed the book on his chest. “So the nap helped?” she asked, poking the softness of his cheek.

“Yeah,” he replied wistfully, opening a crisp page. “I suddenly got a burst of inspiration.”

This sort of routine was getting to her brain. Her growing crush on Vernon wasn’t doing much to help either. She was able to keep herself in check the busier the semester got. Either Vernon or her would return home at wayward hours in the day, or in the wee hours of the morning. Oftentimes Vernon would collapse on their couch after a long bout of morning classes, while she’d be halfway out the door for her round of evening classes. Usually Sundays would be their downtime together, with low-maintenance breakfasts and long television marathons.

She hadn’t seen Vernon all day, she mused one Friday evening, unpacking her backpack and dumping everything on her unmade mattress. He did have a heavy load today, and by now he’d be home sleeping. Her phone vibrated under her duvet, and her screen glowed with a funny picture of her and Vernon, taken one sleepy Sunday morning. His face was scrunched in a duck face, while she was giving him a hard case of RBF over his shoulder.

Soonyoung throwin a highlighter party nd i deserve a break. B home late

She texted Vernon a quick “have fun” before throwing her cell on top of her hamper, breaking away from her final distraction of the evening. A highlighter party sounded fun, she smiled grimly, looking at the array of lecture notes and scanned textbook pages circling her mattress. Another night, she’ll have fun, she promised herself, diving headfirst into her homework.

It was around 2AM when her alarm clicked in recognition, the front door swaying open. Five pages into her first draft, she ceased her typing and rubbed her fingers to relieve the cramping.

Within seconds, there was a muted bump against the wall between the two bedrooms, and a distinctly female moan.

She felt her whole body chill, the only thing she could detect moving in her body was her heart which panged all the way to her stomach. Her door was open a crack, a sliver thin enough to make her all too hyper aware of the bubbly giggles the couple were exchanging outside. Another thump, and the rustling of clothes. In seconds, a deep muffled groan was echoed throughout the floor. Vernon’s.

They never spoke much about bringing guests home. Sometimes Seungkwan would study over, and she liked him because he’d tell her all the stupid things Vernon did when they were roommates freshman year. Whenever Jihoon needed to pass out in a place other than the studio, he’d take the couch for a couple hours, and Vernon always liked when they could share music advice. Those kinds of guests were always welcome. But this wasn’t anything like Seungkwan or Jihoon. It was someone Vernon was definitely into, and someone who wanted to do more than just simply spend the night. And it wasn’t her.

She rubbed her eyes together, digging the heel of her palm into her face in an attempt to prevent the sting of tears that were threatening its way forward. She wasn’t going to cry over this, she kept chanting in her head. But the mere thought of knowing that Vernon was with another girl, while she was suffocating in her room, subjected to hear and imagine just a thin wall away was just—

Wiping the first frustrated tear, she closed her laptop as quietly as possible, tucking it in her backpack. Shoving on her slippers, she waited until Vernon’s door squeaked shut, before shuffling out her door, careful to not make a single audible breath. In the moonlight from the window, she caught Vernon’s navy flannel on the floor, and the girl’s jacket. Both articles of clothing had neon handprints on the sides, a bitter reminder of the events that had conspired to this very moment. Biting her lip, she shook her head and left the apartment, making sure to close it as quietly as possible.

The café was open, currently running its graveyard shift into the lone hours of the morning. To her irony, Barista Boy was the only one there, scrolling on his phone by the register. He stood out like a beacon against the low-lit shop, all pretty and pristine in his white uniform. He started in his bench when she opened the door, looking up through his bangs like she was probably his first customer all evening.

“Uh,” she slided up the register, wondering how on earth she ended up here past 2AM. “What’s the Wi-Fi?”

If Barista Boy took any notice of her slightly pinked nose and glassy eyes, he didn’t bother making it apparent. “You’ll have to order something first before I divulge that top secret info.” he drawled, lifting an eyebrow.

Fighting the urge to not go up and arms and just find another place to vegetate in, she put her laptop down on the counter, and pulled out her wallet. “Okay. Do you still have slices of that black forest cake with the ganache?”

“We do.” and he promptly accepted her card, letting the plastic glide through his register, “You know,” he murmured thoughtfully, returning her card and receipt, “I would’ve imagined your boyfriend would be here with you, since you two always get breakfast here.” he added offhandedly.

“Ah, well.” she laughed bitterly, shoving her card in her leather pouch. “He’s just my roommate. We live on the top floor, actually. And if he were my boyfriend, he wouldn’t be fucking someone else while I’m here ordering cake.”

A low whistle escaped his pale orange toned lips, curled in a slight smirk. “So, I guess I’m cutting a big slice then.” he said loftily, gesturing a pale hand to a booth in the corner. “Sit there, and there only. I’m trying to clean as little as possible tonight.”

Shooting a glare in his retreating back, she figured she didn’t have any need to argue at this point, she turned to his booth. She spotted open biology and medical textbooks that littered the booth, arranged in a semi-circle. Pulling out her laptop, she copied the Wi-Fi specs from her receipt and opened up Skype. Drumming on the linoleum, she clicked on the call button.

It only took a matter of seconds before her screen switched to a plain-looking dormitory, and in the middle of it a very tired-looking Joshua Hong. He was still in bed, half his face submerged in a pillow, his phone probably propped up against something. She couldn’t really make a clear image with the dim lighting, the sun muffled between the blinds, but she could make out the distinct lavender color tinting his hair. That was new. “Whoa,” she whistled at the pretty purple strands, “what has college done to you, Joshua Hong Kong?”

“Mmph,” he murmured with a sleepy smile, “Hi.”

“Hi.” his face already made her feel better. “I love you.”

“Love ya too.” he yawned, throwing a hand forward to adjust his camera angle. “But why are you awake? And why aren’t you home, isn’t it like 3AM in Korea?”

“Well, yeah,” she flushed, tucking her feet under the booth and crossing her legs. “But I missed you, Josh.”

At that moment, Barista Boy decided to graze her with his presence, placing a wooden tray in between their work spaces. There was a large chocolate cake slice, so big that it was probably one quarter of the entire cake, and two glasses of water. Barista Boy’s eyes traveled to her computer screen. “Oh, hi Jisoo.” he said lightly, taking the seat opposite hers.

“You know Josh?” she asked, her eyes widening at Barista Boy, who was currently re-diving into his schoolwork.

“The real question is, why don’t you know Jeonghan.” Joshua cut in, a jesting smile on his petal pink lips. He looked a lot more awake now, the pillow tucked away and him leaning against the wall. “But that doesn’t explain why you’re at the shop this late.”

“Oh, that’s because her roommate is, and I quote ‘fucking someone else’ and she’s bitter and jealous.” Barista Boy, now Jeonghan, butted in loud enough for Joshua to hear, his eyes still glazed over his textbook.

She groaned, throwing her head on the table. She heard a short skkrt and looked up briefly, noting that the chocolate cake was pushed closer to her side. Taking the proffered fork, she took a hard stab in the middle of the slice.

“Wait, really?” Joshua asked, sitting up fully. “You like Vernon? I totally called it.”

“This is all your fault.” she cried, shoving a piece in her mouth. She gave herself a few seconds to relish in the sugar and cocoa, closing her eyes to savor the taste. She frowned, pointing the empty fork in the camera. “Vernon is dreamy as fuck. He walks around half-naked all the time, he’s always offering to let me use the bathroom first, and he sleeps with his head in my lap at least three times a week. He says it inspires him, whatever that means.”

“Oh, damn. Wait, does that mean I can’t live there anymore?”

“Josh!” she whined, taking another cut at her cake. “I can’t take the emotional stress. He’s too nice and sweet and I’m too jealous and petty.”

“Maybe you should go talk to him.” Joshua tried, being ever the mitigator. “Well, I mean, not while he’s having sex with someone. Wait, did you really feel the need to leave? Whoa, you must like him that much.” a silly grin appeared on Joshua’s face. “You like-like him.”

“Yes, I like-like him. And I would love for you to not-not rub it in my face.”

“I’m sorry, I have class in a half hour.” she tried not to sigh as she watched Joshua pull on a coat, not bothering to change from his sweatpants and light long-sleeves with the UCLA logo embroidered in gold and blue. “But just tell it to him straight, alright? I wouldn’t lose hope just yet.” he gave her one last hopeful smile, his eyes crinkling together.

The Skype call turned black again, and she pushed her laptop away, bringing the cake closer to her. Talking to Joshua always made her feel better, and while she wasn’t too keen on talking to Vernon at the moment, she knew she’d have to come back to the penthouse sooner or later. She looked over to Jeonghan, who was diligently doing his readings, his gazed glued to the page. Biting her lip, she begrudgingly tugged her laptop back to her and opened her documents to her rough thesis. It was going to be a long night.

As the sun melted from the evening’s lilacs and silvers to golds and scarlets, she was sorely reminded that she had to face reality. At the very least, it wasn’t in vain. Her first draft was done, and if she was lucky enough she could sneak back in while they were still sleeping. So with a hot cup of tea shoved in her hand, Jeonghan kicked her out and insisted that she couldn’t come back until she sorted herself out.

Taking a deep breath, she tried not to think too hard at the fact that she had been staring at her front door for a full minute. The tea was already getting lukewarm in her grasp, and she willed herself to move forward. Punching in the passcode to the penthouse, she opened the door slowly.

“Good morning!” someone sing-songed.

Speak of the devil. She forced a smile at the pair, who were most definitely awake. Trying to not throw her laptop too hard on the couch, she kicked off her slippers, her feet feeling like thick mud as she willed herself to walk forward.

“This is my roommate,” Vernon said from the stovetop, her apron tied around his waist. “And this is Jungyeon.”

“Hi!” his girl from last night chirped, sending her a pretty smile. This girl was absolutely gorgeous, anyone with eyes could see that. She was wearing Vernon’s white oversized t-shirts, with neon highlight splashes of hot pink and yellow, showing off long glossy legs that went on for miles. She tried not to stare as they dangled over her counter, since she was sitting on her tabletop. Jungyeon’s hair was in a messy chestnut pixie cut, and deep down she knew Vernon secretly had a thing for short hair. Her happy disposition just put the crème on top, she could definitely see Vernon with an effortlessly pretty girl like her. A small plate was in her hand, as she happily munched on a pancake.

Pancakes, Vernon made fucking pancakes for her. She couldn’t even remember the last time Vernon made breakfast for her. What, did he treat all his one night stands to a homemade breakfast and send them on their merry way?

“You’re so lucky Hansollie’s your roommate,” Jungyeon cooed, running a finger on a ribbon of maple syrup. “Do you get to eat like this everyday?”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” she said, momentarily dumbfounded at the thought that Vernon could find initiative to make meals other than Cheerios. “He’s a great roommate, actually.” she added, knowing at the very least that would never be a lie.

Vernon turned off the stove and turned to the ladies, holding two plates of pancakes in his hands. She could’ve sworn that Vernon was shooting her some kind of look, his eyes hard and concentrated as he tried to read her. “So,” he said, feigning nonchalance as he placed the plates on the marble, “Where have you been?”

“Just picked up some tea.” she managed to say, holding up her cup for confirmation.

Jungyeon hopped off the counter, placing her dish in the sink. “Well, I have a club meeting to get to. It was nice meeting you,” and in a matter of seconds, Vernon’s face morphed in a scarily cheery facade, up until Jungyeon got on her tiptoes to plant a quick kiss on Vernon’s cheek. “And thank you for breakfast.” she poked his chest lightly, before whipping herself around, popping on a pair of leggings that were folded on the couch. Jungyeon hummed to herself as she slipped on her shoes and left, the melodic song nothing but jarring against her ears. Jungyeon was a good singer, but she was distracted by Vernon’s sudden re-glare, freezing her stiff on her side of the counter. They stood in a fixed position, both unable to move as they looked at each other with anticipation. Vernon was expecting answers, while she was trying to think of all eighty-two ways she could make it to her room without dying of painfully awkward conversation.

The door slammed shut, and they were finally alone.

“You didn’t come home last night.” Vernon said automatically, like a switchblade waiting to go off.

“I just told you, I went out for tea.” she subtly pushed herself against the counter, wishing she could just phase right through through the marble and walk out of this already discomforting conversation.

“No, you didn’t. I heard the alarm go off after you left. If you didn’t want me to bring anyone over you could’ve said something.” he reasoned levelly.

“I don’t care if you bring anyone.” she lied smoothly.

“Then why did you leave?” Vernon asked, his frown deepening and his brows furrowing. He looked genuinely distressed, his cinnamon eyes pleading.

“I just didn’t want to be around, okay?” she said, feeling more and more vulnerable under his gaze. “You’re entitled for all the privacy you need.”

“Excuse me for caring.” a cynical smile appeared on his face, and he squinted his eyes, trying to decipher the situation. She hated how Vernon could be so inquisitive, and she hated how readable she felt. “We didn’t have sex last night, if that’s what you’re worried about.” he said purposefully, testing the waters.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” liquid heat burned at her cheeks. “So are you telling me it’s my fault you didn’t get some?”

Disarmed at the sudden jab, he glowered, “No.”

“Then why are you telling me this?”

“Obviously because I was worried!” he blurted, throwing his hands in the air. “My friend leaves our house in the middle of the night without telling me. I sent a bunch of messages and calls, and by the time I realized you left your phone here,” he pulled her cell out his pocket, sliding it to her side of the counter, “Jungyeon fell asleep and I had a massive headache. You could’ve been murdered and I would’ve never known. I didn’t even sleep, I struggled for hours making pancakes to keep myself distracted!”

“You’re over-exaggerating.” she said feebly, feeling her heart swell without her consent.

“So are you.” Caught. Vernon crossed his arms, and for a second he looked incredibly proud of his lecture. But she could see it, the minor defeat in his eyes, because he still wasn’t satisfied with her vague answers. The air had changed considerably in the room, and suddenly the pancakes weren’t looking so delicious, and her peaceful weekend wasn’t feeling so peaceful.

“I need to go sleep.” was the only thing she could say, rubbing her two fingers between her forehead. “I really don’t want to fight right now.”

“Right.” Vernon replied tersely, breaking away from her to sit at the table. “You’re tired because you stayed up somewhere else.”

“Right.” she mimicked. She wasn’t ready for this, but she was okay with being honest. Like Joshua had said, tell it to him straight. “I stayed somewhere else because I couldn’t bear the thought of you with another girl in the room next to mine.” she turned away because she didn’t want to see his reaction, unable to help the words that were tumbling like quicksand. “Maybe before, when we weren’t so close before.” she said forlornly, her voice dropping to a whisper, “But not anymore, because I know it isn’t worth my tears.”

Biting her lip, she hugged herself and made a beeline out of the kitchenette. If there was any indication of Vernon following her gaze like a stricken animal all the way to her bedroom, she didn’t give him the satisfaction of looking back. With a tight slam of her door, she threw herself on the bed, hoping it was all just one awful nightmare.

It was one long nightmare.

The weeks following her painfully awkward. For the most part it was easy to avoid each other during the weekdays, giving each other small “hi” and “byes” in passing. And the times that they were together, they managed to feign tight smiles and somewhat happy dispositions when it couldn’t be helped. Vernon would sometimes bring leftover pizza back when he came home early, and she would drop a strawberry smoothie by his backpack when she’d come back from the shop. It was like playing house as a kindergartner, slipping into the routine whenever it was playtime, but wholly noncommittal. She had to admit, Vernon was at least trying to return to some semblance of normalcy.

(“Okay, so I’m totally vibing this.” she pretended not to notice the way Vernon was walking back and forth across the living room as he clutched his Creative Writing notebook, digging a rut in the rug as he paced. She wasn’t entirely sure if he was talking to her or himself, looking like a mad scientist caught in the workings of an epiphany.

“You’re so ice ice baby,” he chanted, bobbing his head back and forth to his mental beat.

“Way to go, Vernilla Ice.” she heard herself reply, something niggling in her chest to continue the conversation.

“Ouch,” he flinched audibly, “Quit being such a hater.”

“Sorry,” she muttered, pulling her textbook closer to her face.

“It’s fine. For whatever reason, whenever you’re around I always want to write new things.” and with open air, he stopped pacing and his hickory gaze lingered on her for a second too long, hoping to elicit some sort of response from her. It was true that she couldn’t ignore him, and holing up in her room for days on end was just plain rude.

He didn’t want her to feel embarrassed, and she knew Vernon was the most honest person she could ever meet and would want her to talk things out. But it didn’t stop her from feeling like she needed to put up walls, at least for now, and in response Vernon had no choice but to give her space, no matter how much he wanted her around. When she sunk further into the couch, refusing to reply, he sighed, reading from his lyric book once more.

“You brush my thoughts and sweep my sleep away.” he rapped under his breath.)

Jungyeon was never seen or heard from ever again, and every trace of her was removed from the apartment. She tried asking if Jungyeon and Vernon were a thing, but Vernon always gave a vague shake of his head, looking annoyed at her prodding. It was like she never happened. Conversely, Seungkwan, Jihoon and their other friends became visiting at even higher frequencies, hoping to defuse the tension by reminding them that everything was going to be alright. On the weekends, whoever was free would pick a movie and they’d watch. Those days were easier.

(“Hm,” Jeonghan walked over to the freezer like he owned the place, pulling out an ice cream pint. “You guys got a new fridge?”

“Jeonghan, what the hell? You’ve been here before?” she asked.

“Has Jisoo told you nothing?” he hummed noncommittally, and she watched him take a dessert spoon out of the correct drawer.

Vernon tilted his head, watching their guest maneuver around the apartment like it was his. “Wait, how did you know where the spoons were?” he inquired, looking genuinely confused. “Do you just sneak in whenever you feel like it?”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes, pushing up the sleeves of his sky blue button down. He opened another random cupboard. “No, I’m sure the alarm would’ve alerted you.” Vernon didn’t seem to notice the slight jab, as he watched Jeonghan pull a pack of Twix bars from a hidden corner. “Jisoo’s chocolate stash.” he said like it was the simplest thing in the world, chucking the bars in Vernon’s hands.

“Ohmygodohmygod these are my favorite!” he started jumping up and down like an excited kid, ripping out a bar for himself.

She allowed herself to back away from the conversation, and walked over to the edge of the counter, sitting on a stool. Her eyes watched the pair get along with each other surprisingly well, and she couldn’t help but stare as she watched Vernon’s excitement as he shoved the chocolate in his mouth, cheeks puffy and eyes twinkling. She missed his smile.)

(“Wait, what is this?” Seungkwan barged into their penthouse, carrying their mail in one hand and a medium-sized box on the other.

“Oh, I ordered a dress online.” she said plainly, holding out her arms for her things.

“This brand makes really nice stuff.” Seungkwan ignored her, walking past her and shutting the door with his sock-clad toe. Instead of giving the package to her he threw it on Soonyoung’s lap.

“Oh,” Soonyoung worked on ripping open the packaging, pulling out his keys. “You need to try this on.”

“What?” she scoffed, “I’ll do that later and send a picture. I wanna watch the movie.”

“Nope,” Seungkwan gave her a no-excuses expression, his lips pursed expectantly. “It’ll only take like, five seconds to put on.”

“But–”

“Six seconds because you won’t shut up.”

“Gah!” she stomped over to Soonyoung, and snatched the open box from him, and went into her room.

After a timely six seconds, at least that’s what she garnered from Seungkwan repeatedly calling her to get out of her bedroom, she stepped into the living room. She felt ridiculous, wearing a pretty dress without makeup and a good reason to go out. But she couldn’t deny what the mirror was showing her, it was indeed a great outfit.

Seungkwan was already at her door, tugging her to the center of the living room. “Twirl,” he instructed sharply, wiggling his one finger like she was a prima ballerina.

Junhui whistled lazily from his cross-legged from the floor. “Whoa, you look hot.”

“Seriously smokin’.” Soonyoung’s eyes minimized to crescents, giving her a thumbs up.

Seungkwan nodded, and then twirled her around to face Vernon. She didn’t even realize he had come out for movie night. “What do you think, Vernonie? Doesn’t she look pretty?” he asked, raising both brows towards his good friend.

His head was downcast, legs spread across the single cushioned chair. His fingers moved like lightning over his iPhone, before he huffed away and forced himself to look up. Vernon blinked, the air around them defrosting, his face in momentary awe. Vernon’s eyes glazed up her body, the way the cherry red skirt clung to her thighs, and the dip of her waist between the black silky v-cut crop. She had never felt so naked while clothed in her life, and she tucked an arm under her stomach self-consciously.

Vernon coughed, hiding his blush. “Yeah,” he mumbled, turning on his phone again, “She looks gorgeous.”)

Vernon became a blip in her radar this past week, blurring past stacks of infinite novels and various papers from different classes. She wasn’t purposefully avoiding him, but it was awfully easy when she could occupy herself with so many things. School was encompassing her like a boa, tighter and tighter as the round of second exams were looming with impending doom. Her eyes were devoid of glimmer and light as she typed autonomously, trying to burn through her research assignments as fast as possible. But she was numb and fresh out of tea, and she couldn’t even remember the last time she got up to go to the bathroom, or leave the building.

Her phone buzzed with urgency against the glass counter, and she immediately startled herself, blinking back to reality. She snatched the phone off, the picture of Vernon and her waiting expectantly. With a soft inhale, she answered it. “Hello?” she half-whispered.

“Hey,” Vernon’s rumbly voice filled her ears like a familiar lullaby. It had been awhile since they had a proper conversation. “Where are you?”

“East Library.” she replied, her eyes trained on her open document, enticing her to keep working.

“Oh, you said that when you left this morning.” he said with a sort of disappointed awe, as if he were hoping she’d reply with something a little bit more positive. “Are you coming home soon? I made dinner.”

“You made dinner?” she asked, jaw dropping slightly.

“Yes, is that such a hard concept?” she could practically hear his smile from the line, and she rested her forehead against one of her books. “It really sucks eating alone.”

“Yeah, it’s just that I’ve been working on this paper and I wanna finish it.”

A hand slammed on her laptop lid, closing it shut. Her head snapped up to yell at the offender, but it turned out to just be Vernon, his phone in hand. She was a little dazed, in disbelief at the thought Vernon waited to pick her up and take her home. He looked incredibly proud of himself, a wide pearly white grin tacked on his face. He was dressed in his black long coat, with a fluffy grey turtleneck and cuffed blue jeans. “C’mon, let’s go home.” he said, already packing up her stuff and throwing it haphazardly in her backpack.

“I told you I wanted to finish.”

“Ah-ah. But I left the oven on, so we gotta hurry.”

“You left the oven on!?” she hissed, her eyes widening in horror. “What the hell, why would you do that?”

“Because I said I made dinner! So we gotta go before I burn up the entire apartment,” Vernon could not hide his shit-eating grin, throwing her bag over his shoulder and urging her out the door. He had a large golf umbrella in his hand, and undid the strap. “I bet you didn’t even realize it’s raining.”

She barely got half her coat on when Vernon was pulling her out the library gates, muttering something about them having less than ten minutes before the oven went off. His lip was worried in a pout, muttering something about “getting the recipe” right as he pressed the button on his scarlet umbrella, putting it over the both of them. Vernon was suddenly reeling forward at a breakneck pace, his sneakers sloshing against the cobblestone. She fought to clutch his arm and keep up, her shoes having no chance against this awful weather. The rain fizzled around them, looking like little diamonds bouncing against the pavement. She focused on that, hoping she wouldn’t be reminded that she was getting a little too close to Vernon for comfort, but it was all in practicality. After a timely four minutes half-sprinting back, they made it to their complex, somewhat dry.

Upon entering the apartment, instead of a burning home she was met with the most heavenly smells to meet her nose in weeks. Buying take-out and making ramen weren’t the most ideal types of nourishment, but they kept her sated and it was quick.

And even the table was set up. She tried not to snort too hard at one of their larger table napkins, folded in a lopsided crane. She took a seat at the marble counter, pulling up the stool as she watched Vernon fuss over a glass container and bring it to the center of their table. He then rushed back to grab some bread in the toaster oven, putting it over their respective cooling racks. Pulling off his mittens, he took a spatula and started cutting at the macaroni and cheese. It was a gorgeous meal, with at least five different shades of cheese and a sizable layer of golden bread crumbs on top.

“You made this yourself?” she asked, mouthwatering as he set one section on her plate.

“Mm, yeah. I FaceTimed with my mom while I did it,” he said bashfully, taking a seat and cutting his own piece. “It’s my aunt’s recipe.”

“Really, and what did she say?”

“She was like, ‘really Han, really? Why haven’t you cooked for us?’ and now I need to take a trip to Hongdae this weekend so I can cook for them.”

“That sounds fun, actually!” she remarked, cutting up some pasta with her fork. Blowing on her serving, she popped the first bite in her mouth. Her mind buzzed, warmth immediately flooding to her senses, and she couldn’t help but let a little moan of delight seep from her lips. “Vernon, this is amazing! You definitely need to go home and cook it.”

Vernon gave her a little crooked half-smile, looking shy as he picked at his own plate. “Yeah, I will. Would you like to come with me?”

She could feel herself ready to choke on her own dinner, and she slowed her chewing, tilting her head in confusion. “Really?” she asked, mildly confused. “You’d want me to come home with you?”

“Well, yeah, why not?” he flushed, stuffing a mouthful of pasta in his mouth. She wasn’t even so sure if he was tasting his own creation properly, as he was chewing like his life depended on it, and swallowing so hard she could hear it going down his throat. “Besides, since you’ve let me stay in your home, I would love for you to visit my home.”

The meaning of “home” pinched in her gut, and she held her metal fork with an iron grip, feeling the need to hold onto something concrete. Even though this was the first real conversation they’ve had for weeks on end, he still wanted her to hang out with him, and even go home with him. Go to his world, meet his family, and know more about him.

Vernon took her stunned silence as rejection, and started sputtering out of control. “I—I mean you don’t have to if you don’t wanna! My sister can get kind of annoying, but I mean all little siblings are annoying anyway. But there’s a guest room downstairs so you can have lots of privacy if you need it—you haven’t said yes though, but the offer is always open—”

“Vernon,” she pleaded, willing him to calm down.

“Yeah?”

“I’ll go home with you this weekend. I’m sure your family is wonderful.”

Vernon’s face melted into sheer happiness, and it made her heart swell knowing that it was the first time in a long time that he had smiled at her so sincerely. She missed him, she missed having him around. “They are wonderful.” he said tenderly, trying not to look too sentimental by forcing more mac down his throat. “You’ll love them.”

“If they’re as great as you are, I’m sure I’ll love them.”

“So, we’re cool now?” he asked, biting his cheek. “For realsies.”

“For realsies.”

He suddenly leapt from the table like a frog, pushing his stool back so he could wrap his arms around her in a warm hug. She laughed, pushing him away while he only held on tighter, rubbing his cheeks with hers. “I knew food would bring us back together!” he cheered, rocking them back and forth so hard that she thought she was going to slip off her seat.

“Yes Vernon, Food is Life. Please get off me because you smell like cheese!” she giggled, shoving him with both hands.

The boy still clung to her like glue, his hands grasping her shoulders in a comfortable grip. The only thing she could focus on was how close Vernon’s face was to hers, and arm’s length, enough to make out the sincerity in his golden brown eyes. “For the record, Jungyeon means nothing to me. I was drunk that night, and I know it’s no excuse.” he squeezed her shoulders once in an attempt to release the sudden tenseness in her muscles. It was the first time Jungyeon was mentioned since she had come over. “I’m sorry it bothered you, I was annoyed at myself too.”

“It’s alright.” she heard herself murmur, momentarily stunned at the confession.

“I’m glad we’re okay.” he squeezed her shoulders one more time, before he returned to his chair and helped himself to a second serving of pasta.

Dinner continued like normal, with light conversation and her being mildly impressed that Vernon managed to consume three-quarters of the dish. But as she watched Vernon’s smile burn through every layer of her being, striped of any facade she put up these few weeks, she began to doubt herself. Could she be just “okay” with Vernon? Things with Vernon would always be okay, but was it enough for her? She could live with him the rest of the year, let their friendship fade through college and go separate lives, would that be okay? What if it wasn’t alright, what if she wanted extraordinary, or fantastic? She didn’t know if she could settle for less.

She went to bed first, Vernon saying that he wanted to do some extra studying before he turned in. She offered to help him solve the first few problems in his Astronomy homework, but once it hit 1AM she was ready to crash. She felt a little bad for leaving him to deal with the rest of it by himself, but he insisted that it was fine.

It only took a couple minutes on her bed to drift away, sleep enveloping her like a balm. She lingered on the sheets, letting herself muse as the rain pitter-pattered against her window. But not a half hour later, the room to her door opened just as she felt ready to sleep for real. She turned her head slightly, finding Vernon absorbing the moonlight. There was a rumble of thunder, and then lightning filling the room like white heat.

He was in a pair of black sweats and a white undershirt, a small blanket wrapped around his body. He managed to cover his top-half with it, with only his head popping out of the seam, looking like a little burrito sealed in blankets.

“Mmph,” she closed her eyes, rubbing a hand over her face. “Vernon,” she murmured, “why are you here?”

“Can I sleep with you?” he blurted.

“Wha?”

“Please? You said we were okay and I’m stressed.” she could practically hear the pout in his voice. “I promise I’ll pass my exam if you let me stay. And not trying to be a brat or anything,” he shuffled his feet, looking guilty, “it’s freezing in my room when it rains or snows.”

“Gah,” she rubbed her forehead against her cool silk pillow, hoping this was all just a dream. “You’re just trying to find excuses to cuddle with me.” she grumbled.

“Is that such a crime?” he asked in a whine, “So can I?”

“Fine. Just keep your distance.”

She knew that proposition wasn’t going to last long. Vernon practically flew to her bed, rousing the springs and causing her body to bounce in recoil. They were a safe foot away from each other, with enough room for the both of them. He fluffed her pillows on his side and put his blanket at the foot of the bed, going under her marigold duvet. She heard him take a deep exhale, and she smiled into her pillow, wondering if Vernon enjoyed the scent of her sheets.

It only took a total of five minutes before Vernon caved, rolling his body so that his head nuzzled in the crook of her neck, his nose poking between her collarbones. He wasn’t really cuddly in front of people, and it was usually his friends that made the first move if he did do something. So any moment that he did want to get close, she knew she had to savor it.

She sighed, feigning a tired yawn as she let the scent of Vernon’s vanilla and sandalwood encompass her. She shifted, tugging his heavy arm up so it would fall under her petite body, letting herself be snuggled under his embrace. His hands wordlessly found her hip, tucking itself between her back like a shield.

It only took a matter of seconds before she could fall asleep, but it was enough for her to conclude that simply being “okay” with Vernon, wasn’t enough for her.

It was the first and last time that she and Vernon slept in the same bed, and she couldn’t have been more than thankful for that. She thought their first awkward phase was bad, but the second one was significantly more tortuous than the last.

Sweet, sweet torture. One that led to lingering touches on her waist when they would accidentally bump into each other in the bathroom. When they’d hug and somehow his hands would make its mark between the dive of where her t-shirt ended and her pants began, that sliver of bare skin treated with tender, but fleeting grasps. The sanguine compliments they’d exchange whenever they went out, if they had a nice outfit today or a high-five on campus after an exam period. Eye contact that went on for too long between meals, ones that made Seungkwan want to gag and his sister to tease. Wordless conversations on Sunday mornings, bodies lazily slumped against each other, exchanging a bowl of chips over dramas.

It had her aching for more, and she wondered if he was feeling just as starved.

She sat cross-legged on her mattress for what felt like hours, simply holding the object in her hand like it was the last piece of hope on this land. She had just gotten back from university, feeling incredibly beaten. Her professor ripped her last essay to shreds, and her last paper didn’t fare so well with her other class. Her thesis for graduate school needed re-work, and with the low marks she got in her other classes, she wasn’t feeling so confident as before. She knew it was going to be fine at the end of the year, she just had to hang on a little bit longer.

She needed to relax, she thought, as her fingers toggled with the metal vibrator in her hands. It was a small, cute bullet that seemed like a questionable device when her best friend gifted it to her a couple weeks ago, but now was a good time as ever to test its capabilities. She gave an experimental jab at the rubber button, and the vibrator buzzed to life, deafeningly loud against the quiet apartment.

Slipping off her shorts, she let out a long-suffering sigh as she laid her head down on a propped up pillow. She thought about her thesis that was due in a couple weeks, the only thing written down was the title, still a work in progress. The future seemed like such a faraway land, waiting for her to fall over and start acting less of a child and more of an adult.

She thought of Vernon, everything about him just crashed on her mind, encompassing her like a circle in a perpetual loop. The scent of his button downs when he first moved in, his vanilla scent seducing her before she even had a chance to shake hands with him. The way he’d walk around the apartment in only his underwear, painfully oblivious to the fact that the simple action was wracking her with frustration. The silly giggles Jungyeon made in-between rushed, secretive kisses as they made the journey from the front door to his bedroom. She closed her eyes tighter, as she recollected the heavy groans Vernon must’ve breathed into her neck, weak with sanity but strong with desire.

She sighed, urging herself to grapple some pleasure out of that pain. Vernon didn’t have to tell her Jungyeon meant nothing to him, to excuse his drunkenness for silly mistakes. He didn’t have to give her that satisfaction, the ability to run her mind and give herself a chance. Hating herself for feeling so needlessly jealous, she threw one of her pillows across the room, knowing if she was too loud Vernon would wake up from his nap.

It fell with a soft puff to the ground, and she grit her teeth, suppressing the little part of her that wanted him to hear. She pressed the vibrator to her core, pleading for some type of reprieve.

She broke apart bit by bit, sinking into the sheets. She thought of the the way Vernon spent that night with her in bed, simply sleeping. How their touches were so innocent, so mutual, but at the same time she felt subconsciously dissatisfied, hoping for something more. How she ignored the familiar heat of his strong thighs against her own the morning after, pretending to not-so-accidentally brush over his morning wood as she got up to shut off her alarm. How she had to wait with forced stillness until he had his morning shower, and let herself relax on her own accord, much like now. She put some tension in the metal bullet, letting it soak up her juices as she let it go up and down her slit, swallowing sighs like shots with every wave of pleasure.

And then the door was thrown open.

Vernon practically shoved himself in, panicking as he held up his Astronomy textbook. “You need to do me a favor,” he cried frantically, waving the hardcover around. “My calendar alarm went off and I just realized I have a quiz tomorrow and—”

The book met the ground in a painfully loud thud.

“Vernon!” she bolted up, chucking her vibrator under her pillow. “Ever heard of knocking?”

He didn’t answer, in fact his body was frozen solid as he managed to ask in a quiet voice, “What are you doing?” he nearly whispered.

“Answer my question!” Ohmygodooohmygoddd he saw me touching myself he saw me I’m going to die.

“What? No, answer mine!” he finally pushed himself forward, having the balls to go near her mattress. “What did you just throw?”

“Nothing.”

“It’s making sounds.”

They both made eye contact, like a silent face-off as their eyes snapped back and forth in sync from each other to the mysterious sounds her pillow was emitting. He wouldn’t dare, she thought, fingers curling between the sheets in nervous anticipation. She was dead wrong. Vernon dove first, as if she wasn’t totally just trying to touch herself five seconds ago, his hands darting under the pillow to retrieve the culprit. For a semi-fit looking guy, he was incredibly dense and heavy to ward off. She hardly had time to think as she clutched his shoulders to pull him back, only for her to meet eye-to-eye with her vibrator, the incessant buzzing reverberating throughout the room.

Vernon’s pupils were blown like galaxies, innocently rolling the object between his thumb and pointer. “You were going to use this?” he asked with glazed wonder.

“No.” she deadpanned, “I was going to go take a walk and go out to dinner with it.”

At this point, they’d slip into their method. She’d say a snarky comment, he’d laugh and make some silly joke that made no possible sense in context, but she’d laugh anyway because it was Vernon and he made everything seem funny. But Vernon wasn’t doing any of the following, in fact his eyes were still stuck on that damn vibrator, as if he couldn’t believe what was happening. The anticipation was absolutely wrecking her, and she subtly pressed her thighs together as she awaited his reply.

Finally, his Coca-Cola eyes lolled towards her, and he asked with an eggshell delicacy, “So if you’re not going to use it on yourself, can I use it on you?”

Her knees trembled like it was ice cold, although she was fervently burning with a desire that had been singeing her black for months.

His eyes were perpetually in mid-explosion, dilated so far that she could make out the stars across the rim of his sea of chocolate, both in shock and excitement. She couldn’t help but nod at his subdued eagerness, biting the inside of her lip as she let her consent register in his brain. Vernon still kept his eyes glued to hers, as if she’d say no at the last second, but his hand made a trail for her thighs, the swell of her hips, before he felt the seam between her thighs, willing them to part open for him. His touch was ice cool against her heated body and honeyed her panties with arousal, and she blushed because he wasn’t even doing anything yet but she was already so riled.

The vibrator hung in the air for only a second, before it dipped down to her clothed clit, and he began pressing pressing pressing.

She gasped, her thighs closing in reflex, effectively trapping Vernon’s hand. He raised a sharp eyebrow at her, an amused smile curling on his features. “Relax,” he said, the words immediately physicalized under his command, and she felt her muscles slack with ease. “I’m going to take care of you.”

I’m going to take care of you. She ignored the pinch in her gut for now, because Vernon seemed to be enjoying his time with her. He rolled the rose gold bullet in little circles and big circles, continuing his actions as he hovered over her, sitting with his legs spread as a cocoon between hers. The vibrator reverberated through her panties, and she moaned, throwing her head back against the pillow. Before she could get even more turned on than she already was, she reached for her panties, tugging them off in a haste and throwing them across the room. She exhaled, letting her body float against the mattress. She heard Vernon chuckle at her sudden eagerness, the low tones in his voice turning her on even more as he pressed the next setting on her vibrator.

The cool metal slipped like butter between her folds, igniting liquid fire as she whimpered in tandem to its rapid ministrations. The bullet went fast, and slow, and then fast again, and then agonizingly, achingly slow. It was so much that she started to squirm when the metal bullet would graze her clit ever so slightly, and then gasp like it was her last breath on earth when he’d suddenly push it into the center of its bud, causing herself to bloom like lilies.

“Vernon,” she gasped, his name coming out in a desperately slow moan. “Vernon, Vernon.”

Without warning, the vibrator plopped with a soft thud on the mattress, and she felt his fingers brush against her slickened folds. From her half-lidded gaze, she saw the way Vernon looked at her, not her body, not her arousal, her eyes. He was mesmerized, spelled by youth and curiosity so genuine it almost made her come right then and there.

He picked up the vibrator again, but his other hand remained at her entrance, prodding and teasing as the vibrator made its way back to her clit, swirling at a steady pace. She sighed in bliss, grappling at her cotton yellow sheets as ecstasy wracked through her body.

“F-fuck, Vernon,” she exhaled again, feeling his warm fingers gather her arousal like a fountain, dripping over his skin like a gloss. “More—a-ah right there—please do that again.”

He muttered something under his breath, something along the lines of to stop saying his name like that or else he’d lose it but kindly hastened his pace, and before she knew it she was rocking her hips back and forth against his fingers, chasing that aching release she had been wishing for so long. He gave careful work to the spongy bud, curling his digits until stars and moons assaulted her vision, her breathy gasps releasing in staccato, before all at once melting herself into the soft mattress. She felt herself burst into electricity, like light bulbs crashing into pavement and glittering the walk in color and spark.

She let herself exhale in peace, the rise and fall of her chest heavy and breathy like she was trying to savor the last breath on earth. Carding a hand through the hair that was mussed at her face, she propped herself on her elbows. Vernon’s eyes drifted to the sticky substance that iced his fingers, and it made her all too aware of the same substance she was practically drowning in between her thighs. His pink tongue darted out the seam of his lips, before taking an experimental lick at her juices.

Scandalized, her neck started to burn with embarrassment. “Vernon,” she half-whined, causing him to snap his neck towards her. “Don’t do that.”

He looked like an innocent kitten, lapping up milk like it was the last drop in the bowl. He cocked his head to the side, “Why, how can you be embarrassed all of a sudden?” he asked gently, letting his body slack against the propped pillows.

And suddenly it hit her like a two-ton bus, that Vernon was in her room not to study, or ask if she wanted to eat dinner, or any other normal activity roommates shared. No, he just gave her an amazing orgasm, one that was still replaying in her mind like ticker tape, and here he was, fully clothed and an erection straining through his jeans. And she was moreover naked, her bra straps floating across her elbows and nothing but a thin tank top to barely cover the rest of herself.

Vernon immediately caught onto her distress, and he sat up, one foot already on the floor. “I’ll just—uh—I’ll go in my room and uh, yeah—it’s fine.” he stuttered literal word vomit, unable to think of anything coherent, the panic evident in his face.

Before he could make his getaway, she darted forward, tugging the hem of his sleeve. “No, Vernon. Please stay.” she said, pulling him back down with a cotton soft press of his flannel clad shoulder. It didn’t take much for him to lie back on the bed, looking profoundly dumbstruck at whatever the hell was going on between the two of them. “Let me take care of you, too.” she murmured, her hands reaching to palm him through his jeans. Before she could think twice she ground her hand into him, letting herself feel the width of his hardened length.

A devastating groan escaped Vernon, throwing his head so hard that it smacked against wood of her bedframe. She laughed when he pouted at his sudden impulse, her fingers flying back to push back his russet strands that went out of place, slick with sweat.

“Sorry,” he smiled sheepishly, “Wasn’t prepared for that.”

“I wasn’t prepared for you walking in on me, either.” she murmured playfully, her thumb brushing the flyaways of his honey spice coif. “Please don’t tell me you broke your brain or anything.” she rubbed his scalp briefly with a tender caress.

“No, seems intact.” he replied shortly, “For now, at least.”

She raised a brow, before dipping her hand back to the button of his jeans. He lifted his hips up slightly, eyes still trained on her as they helped each other get his jeans off. His plaid boxer briefs were slung low on his hips, his erection standing under a pool of precome against the cotton. She was about to pull the waistband down before she bit her lip in contemplation, looking back at Vernon. He looked expectant, awaiting her next move, but at the same time, still glazed with wonder of how they got like this so quickly. She didn’t know either, although she hoped that this would be a step forward in their relationship, rather than the backwards spiral they were enduring the weeks before. They’ve gone this far now, and if there was anything they’d possibly regret, she might as well go all the way.

She took a detour by putting her weight on Vernon so they were chest to chest, and she kissed him. He was terribly responsive to her, although his hands clung to his sides, she could feel the moment of finally in his reverence, combined with the taste of her and something that was so distinctly Vernon, she yearned for more.

Still kissing him, her fingers returned to their journey under his boxers, before finding his hard cock that ached for release. He groaned into the kiss, bucking into her hand as he finally reached forward to let his warm hands grip her waist. The angle was awkward since he was so tall, and she bumped teeth a few times as she struggled to keep up with rubbing him off and simultaneously kissing. She felt his hand reach for the one in his underwear, twining their fingers and pulling it away so a sharp twang echoed from the spandex. He ushered her waist forward, and looking ever-so determined to make this work, he urged her onto his lap, his clothed erection aligning with her naked core.

She never thought grinding between such a thin barrier would arouse her so much, but it was probably Vernon that was turning her on more than the action. He looked like he was on the verge of breaking down, his Adam’s apple bobbing like a pendulum as he settled her on top of him, hands securing her safely as he rocked up.

“Nngh—” Vernon threw his head back again, this time gently, his mouth parted with pure ecstasy, “You feel, so fucking good.” he sighed from the base of his throat, graveled with lust.

She could only whimper weakly and nod in reply, trying not to collapse over as she felt her clit pulsate between his hardened cock, with every thrust feeling like this fullness was more than enough, and she could hardly imagine having it without his boxers, inside of her. Her hands grappled under the hem of his weathered shirt, finding purchase in gripping the solid planes of his abs. Her core throbbed incessantly as she glided against him, finding a rhythm that synced well with the hot friction that melded the both of them together. The bed rocked in tandem like a lullaby, arching to their hard sighs and soft moans that collided in her bedroom.

It was only a matter of time before Vernon’s actions would get more erratic, scattering in a frenzy nearing the peak of pleasure. His grunts stained the room like the way impressionists would leave their mark, wholly impactful. She held on, watching the way Vernon was barely hanging by a thread, a sheen of sweat glittering his forehead, looking simultaneously gorgeous and wrecked as he chased his release. His head was arched back, exposing his hard pale collarbones which contrasted beautifully against the serene half-lidded bliss his smokey brown eyes were giving her. She felt the wetness between them multiply, and she felt inebriated knowing their arousal was mixed together. She swirled her hips between his, gathering the slick juices that glistened between them to ride out their high. Grounding and circling her hips to his with gravity on her side, she tipped the scale, and Vernon collapsed like sand in an hourglass, crumbling as he thrusted one last time and rode out his orgasm with a low moan, his seed pooling in his boxers and milking against her tummy and equally wet tank.

She let herself fall on her side of the bed, thighs sticky as she groaned from exertion, collapsing next to Vernon. She tucked her head between his arm and chest, letting her eyelids flutter for a few seconds. It was comical, the way Vernon was completely windblown, his pants half-dragged his one ankle with hot pink tube socks, his top half still fully clothed yet wrinkled from exhaustion.

“By the way,” Vernon exhaled, voice crackly with exhaustion. “Are you on the pill, or something? I came in my underwear.”

“You ask me that after you come?” she balked, a tired laugh fluttering from her post-bliss.

“Well, I was preoccupied.”

“Don’t worry about it, we’re safe.”

“Oh, cool.” she heard Vernon count to three in breathy whispers. One, two. “Wanna go on a date?”

She muffled her laugh through his dampened shirt, and she felt his chest rumble in chuckles. “Sure. Although living with you every day seems like a date.”

“What are we going to tell Josh?” Vernon blurted aloud, shifting slightly so that their chests were facing each other. “I mean, I guess he can take his room back. I can move all my stuff here, or there’s that extra closet—”

“Vernon,” she cut him off, wounding her legs in his. “We just had amazing foreplay and the first thing you want to do is bring up Josh?”

“Oh, sorry.” he swooped down, pressing his forehead to hers. “So yeah, dating? Cool?” there was nothing remotely serious in his tone, getting from the fact that all along, they had a feeling they’d cut to jumping each other’s bones one day or another. He gave her a goofy grin, blissfully falling into something so impulsive and so so beautiful.

“Cool.” she shifted, rubbing her ruddy cheeks. “Now can we please sleep? Pining over you these past few months was exhausting.” she confessed, nuzzling her head between his neck. “Do you know how frustrating it is when you walk around half-naked?”

“You’re telling me.” Vernon yawned, throwing an arm around her waist. “Do you know how distracting it is when I’m trying to study and I hear you touching yourself in the other room? Like, rude.”

“You’re ruder.”

“Rudest.” he chuckled, tucking his chin on the crown of her head. “I still need help with that quiz by the way.” and he helped himself up, only to tilt his head so that it would level with hers. “But first, could we re-do that kiss?”

“Not satisfied with the first one?” she teased in a velvety whisper, inching her lips forward so that they would linger over his.

“No, it was great, but I don’t think I’ll ever be satisfied with just one.” he giggled with a pursed mouth, before pressing his lips to hers. They smiled through the kiss, messy and uncoordinated as they’ve always been, sticky and sweaty as they tangled themselves together between the marigold duvet. It was warm and sudden and a little awkward, but this was more than okay.

Best roommate, ever.

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