#i pretend to be happy I'm sorry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gazkamurocho · 3 months

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Kiryu and Majima's reunion in Infinite Wealth (He won't let go)

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choiliner · 4 months

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I ' M F A L L I N G . . .

CHOI LINE × GROWING PAIN | for @emoremix! ↳ for the kpopblr gift exchange hosted by kpopcreators, kpopco & femadols

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emblazons · 2 months

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Me every time I see I don't care so long as he's kissing Will takes being held as superior for their supposed "neutrality" knowing damn well that even on the supposedly 'better at catching what the DB are doing' side of fandom a lot of people don't actually give af if Mike Wheeler has nuance, depth or personality (bc he's easier to project their I identify with Will & he deservers happiness idealizing that way):

#I'm sorry I'm just. ANNOYED.#'i can't believe people just gloss over Mike's wants to keep him in a relationship' the call is coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE #so long as their fave gets the boy it doesn't matter. and yet they don't realize how they are exactly the same as people they shit talk #people say the same EXACT shit about El 'being happy? to trash bylr??? how do you not realize this??#and then having the audacity to get mad at people who intentionally parse through Mike for himself and give HIS actions reasoning. like?#you can dislike the boy all you want but let's not pretend you don't use him as a stand in for whatever personality you like #because you don't have the capacity to believe he has his OWN wants desires needs and motivations OUTSIDE of Will OR El smh #the me tag

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bitchthefuck1 · 2 months

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People who hate Shiv or think she was wrong for what she did in the finale are so unserious to me. "How could she screw over Kendall and stop them from keeping the company???" oh you mean the guy who promised they'd run it together and then immediately double crossed her? And then spent the rest of the season trying to cut Roman out of the company too?? How could she betray that guy??? real mystery.

#like are y'all just pretending that didn't happen? he was literally trying to cut them out the SECOND he thought he had a shot at the top #spot. why should she stay loyal to the plan if he literally never has??? be serious now #and yes she stabbed him in the back too but he started it and honestly what did you expect from these people? they've spent their entire #lives being trained to drag each other down for the top spot. that's not changing because they got along for 3 months and their dad died #also like 'we could have had a happy ending if she hadn't done that!!1!' first of all them keeping the company would NOT have been a happy #ending at all. and second of all. i'm sorry. were you expecting a straightforward 'we win' ride off into the sunset???#from the 'the poison drips through' family trauma show????? be so fucking forreal. them getting out is the happiest possible #ending this show could have that wouldn't immediately ring false and feel unsatisfying #and before anyone tries to start something i am not a kendall hater or a shiv stan i'm just being honest #succession #shiv roy #kendall roy #siobhan roy #succession finale #with open eyes #roman roy

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eightyfours · 10 months

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THE KARATE KID | 22.06.1984

dir. John G. Avildsen

#daniel larusso #nariyoshi miyagi #mr miyagi #ralph macchio #pat morita #the karate kid #the karate kid 1984 #tkkedit #thekaratekidedit #80smovies #dailyflicks #dailyfilmsource #efedits #tkk #happy anniversary to the greatest movie ever made ❤#sorry ik this isn't much bc i did it a bit rushed bc life. hope you like it anyway <3 #pretend the gifs are synced and cropped correctly and i'm not a fucking clown!

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gimmethatagustd · 6 months

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#i made the mistake of going on the internet #and seeing so much anti-palestine bullshit #and now i'm sick to my stomach cuz i'm tired of people justifying literal genocide with their chests and thinking it's okay #it's nothing new #colonizers are colonizers yknow #but it's awful no matter how expected it is #anyway #sorry #i want this blog to be a happy space but i also can't pretend #jai talks

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k1ng0fsug4r · 11 months

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RWBY fans who hate Bumbleby are funny because its always the typical "This ship makes no sense and not that I hate it or anything, I just don't really see the need for it. Why can't two people of the same sex just be friends? Not everything has to be a forced romance."

and then there'll be a scene or particular gag between Jaune and Weiss or Jaune and Ruby and all of a sudden its "Ah yes, look at this platonic chemistry. We need them to kiss IMMEDIATELY, Jaune deserves to be happy--"

#k1ng post #bumbleby #I'm not gonna pretend like Rooster Teeth was progressive for doing this or that they couldn't have done some stuff better #I ain't forget about what they get up to behind the scenes I owe them nothing no kudos points tally marks NADA #But I'm sorry the gay relationship distracted you from whatever else you were gonna hate about the show regardless #(Jaune DOES need to be happy though--)

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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months

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The way that the sun hits leaves and clouds. I feel like I could watch the colors change forever. If I could slow down for that long.

#i keep forgetting a have a deck now. i can go outside and sit there #im doing that now. sitting in the corner of a deck full of empty chairs. staring up at a big pine tree where the sun is striking it gold #at the top. i like how thr light hits the needles. if the sky was black it would look like its on fire #theres a tree outside my bedroom window too. in the morning. after the sunrises it catches thr light and refelcts the most perfect shade #of green. the kind of green that flutters translucent like youre looking up from the bottom of a pool. the light the light its all about #the sun. everything everything is about the sun. when i start my project I'll be focused on understanding how organisms catch the light bc #its so incredible and complicated it would make my chest swell to bursting if there wasnt an empty bleeding wound in my gut. a #metaphorical wound of course. i dunno. its just difficult bc right now my mood is inflated by hormones. not even that much i think I'm #just at what shoulf be a normal level of happiness so i can be slow for a minute. but just a minute bc i kno it won't last long #sorry i cant shut the fuck up when im like this but i dunno i just feel like i havr to document these ephemeral moments before they're gone #its just difficult when you kno the world is so full of beautiful things but 95% of the time your eyes are too clouded to see it #everyone tells me i work too much but i feel like im just staring off into space being miserable 60% of the time. ive just done so much #damage over the past few years im coming into a new lab as damaged goods. ive got an albatross around my neck in thr form of data i #collected so self destructively that the idea of having anything to do with its publication makes me hate myself. everytime someone tells #me good job on collecting so so so much data it feels like they're congratulating me for breaking something within myself. like i slit my #wrists and bled out on a lab bench and theyre saying good job and theyre excited for me and i have to grin and bear it and pretend im #excited too. but im not bc ive burned everything inside me to ash. so when im elevated enough to be distracted by the clouds and trees it #feels like healing. like seeing angels. beautiful ephemeral beams of light. i wish i could slow down enough to watch them. but now thr sun #is hitting the horizon and the sky is going gradually dark and i should go inside. bc i have many things to do in the morning. so that's #what ill do. and ill try to get more thsn 6hrs of sleep but its hard when your body is vibrating over with energy #but at least i dont feel tired in the morning. something in my head must be on fire #unrelated #hm i should maybe add a tw to this #tw self injury #but its the kind thst makes u good at ur Job. its the kind ppl reward. so they don't understand when u say its destroying ur life #but im trying to get better. i say as i gear up for an insane semester lol but i do mean it

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errolluck · 1 month

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I'm tired. Of all of this.

Every fucking day feels like the same, yet it gets heavier. Things get worse, nothing gets better and the few things that gave me security, happiness, where I thought I could escape and be free for some moments, are getting corrupted, forgotten, stained forever, never to be the same refuge they once were.

I'm tired of living sometimes. Of existing on this world.

I know how dying feels; it's calming, the darkness eats you and you feel without worries for the first time in your existance. You know it and that frees you.

But I don't want to die. I'm a coward. I want to continue living on this earth just because I think I can do something in the future, something that will fix everything, something that will give a purporse to everything I've done and lived through.

But we all know that is just a lie to make us feel better, don't we?

Because, at the end of all, do we really matter? What can assure us that?

I'm tired. Too tired.

I want to go somewhere else, but there is nowhere to escape. I want to say that I want to go home, go to the park, go to a forest and be happy. But this is something that will haunt me, haunt me forever and everywhere until the end.

Because you can't escape yourself.

I'm tired...

#I'm not ok right now #my mental health is declining #and everything is getting worse #even the little things that I used to escape reality are rotting #Im just tired #of every single fucking thing that happens #I just wanna curl up and not move at all #Sorry for the vent #but i need to get it out #Im not considering suicide #I don't want to be a weight even after Im gone #and again #i dont want to die #but I just #I just don't want to do this anymore #I don't know what to do #I feel pointless #I think this is just another crisis episode I'm having and I'm going to be fine in some weeks #but I just have to get this out of my chest #I pretend to be ok #to be happy to see if I can truly be happy again #trying to be normal #and ignore everything else that is wrong around me and with me #Sorry again #sorry for the vent #you don't have to worry about me #I don't wanna stress people because I'm not worth it

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lunetual · 2 years

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DJ H.ONE for @dreamaze ♡

bonus 📸:

#hyungwon #chae hyungwon #monsta x #mx7net #mx #mine: gif #mx.meg #HAPPY WINGS DAY!!!!#i will be sappy in the tags and that way we can both pretend it's not happening <3 #BUT happy happy birthday i hope you've had the loveliest day !!#i'm so grateful to this little blue hellsite (tumblr dot org) for bringing me such wonderful friends like you #i love chatting throughout the day and running into pin limits on discord and being able to be. bitter in our safe space dms as;lkdjfasd <3 #i hope u enjoy this little hyungwon <3 #i will keep you updated on whether. uh. i pull the trigger on. you know what </3 #FUCK eshy.#mwah ily !!!#also uh !! long set. sorry. however you should all look at big gifs of dj h.one!!!!!

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not-poignant · 4 months

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Good day! I saw a few Hannibal/Will fics in your bookmarks and was curious, sorry if someone asked this already, why did you passed this pairing? It seems so perfect for dynamics you like to write? Thanks and hope you have a peaceful and creative day!

Hi anon,

Putting this under a read-more because I don't actually like the Hannibal/Will ship.

I actually really don't like aspects of the show, and I really hate the pairing when it's canonical (almost everything I've ever bookmarked is an AU).

I generally avoid it wherever possible, but sometimes the tags are just too good and so I give the fic a try - and I'll generally like it because of the author, and will pretend that the couple is someone else.

It's not my dynamics at all, anon, I'm sorry. I've never been that interested in writing pure cannibalistic sociopaths who brainwash their victims and abuse them until they get encephalitis, and while there's lots of ways to write Hannibal so that it's not like that, I just don't also feel very drawn to Mads Mikkelsen either (I'm sorry everyone gomen I'm super sorry sdlkfjdas), which pretty much puts the whole pairing in the 'no thank you' basket.

It's funny because I liked the original stories by Thomas Harris, and I really like Hugh Dancy as well as Gillian Anderson. But I spent most of my time actually finding Hannibal/Will squicky, and while it's not as bad as it used to be, I don't go out of my way to read anything to do with them.

But sometimes the tags are just too appealing, lol, and I feel like the story won't feel like it's set in the canonical universe which helps!

#asks and answers #not going to tag this into the fandom because it's so ship critical #i love that other people love this ship #and the actors #and there's a lot of folks in Fae Tales who LOVE this ship #and i'm genuinely so happy for them #because it's a very abundant and generous fandom with a lot of beautiful fanart and fanfiction #but yeah no they're very far from being my perfect dynamic i'm sorry anon #i just don't like the pairing at all and pretend they're different people #to get the writing/tags i want sdlkfjas #generally i prefer to exclude their ship/fandom from fanfic searches #and i really only do that for Supernatural - HP - and Hannibal sadlkfjdsa

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nyxofdemons · 6 months

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god i have so many projects i need to finish i shouldn't be starting a new one. but. the idea in my head for a royalty au (i know theyre also royals in canon i just don't know what else to call it) where ozzie and stolas are both princes in an arranged engagement, blitz is an assassin personally employed by the royal family, and fizz is the court jester, is one that. uh. kind of has me in its clutches rn

#this is a poly ship fic/series to be clear. 50k angst with a happy ending that hits ALL the tropes #stolas and blitz are childhood friends to Its Complicated pretending this is only friends with benefits and not absolutely devastating #ozzie and fizz are the CLASSIC forbidden love #ozzie and stolas both THINK the other one has no romantic interest in them and is only doing this for Political Reasons #fizz and blitz ohohoh MAN childhood best friends to bitter resentment but forced to work in #close proximity due to their respective goetias being engaged #i'm actually less sure about fizz/stolas and blitz/ozzie dynamics.#obviously we could just have them be platonic but i do think it could be cute. stolas just thinks fizz is so funny and endearing #and ozzie and blitz bond over loving fizz and stolas. also i think Embodiment of Lust x horniest imp ever would be at least interesting #in bed if nothing else. like they'd be curious to at least try it out right #I HAVE TOO MANY PROJECTS I CANT TAKE ON A NEW ONE #AND YET. THIS CONCEPT IS CONSUMING ME.#anyway i swear ill have that other fic done soon stuff came up im sorry ahsdkjashkas #mine #circus goetia

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letsmcfreackingloseit · 6 months

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I JUST SAW MATPAT IN THEATERS AND IT WAS AWESOME AND I'M SO HAPPY

#a.k.a. I SAW THE FNAF MOVIE!!!#AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!#it was awesome and I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!! XD #and when matpat showed up I couldn't help but point like- THERE HE IS!!!#this was all worth the disaster I tried to accomplish right before the movie ( TvT)#I GOT LATE TO THE MOVIE OPENING JUST BECAUSE I WANTED TO DRESS UP AS A SECURITY GUARD #so if any of you here on tumblr were one of the people I shared the movie salon with- I AM SO SORRY!!!#fnaf #fnaf movie #five nights at freddy's #five nights at freddy's movie #no spoilers here- but just know it was a lot of fun! XD #but small epilepsy warning? First time he turns on the place and when the animatronics spark? there are probably more but I'm not 100% sure #sorry :(#btw- can we also pretend I wasn't gone for almost a year? ':D #I had the terrible disease called: went too long without posting and thought I had passed the point of no return #tragic I know ( U_U)#this is no promise I will be posting anything soon tho #but if the moon and stars align- maybe! ;D #but anyway back to the point- FNAF MOVIE GOOD AND FUN!! LOVED IT!! OK- BUH-BYEEE!!

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walkingstackofbooks · 19 hours

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Anxiety is wild.

Someone I haven't interacted with overly much goes out of their way to say something really nice to me, and my brain goes "But what if they don't mean it".

Like, brain, no-one's going to say something like that without meaning it!

My brain: But they must find you annoying because you're you and therefore it's more likely that they hate you but they're just too nice to say it and also feel sorry for you so that's why they said that.

No, no that's not how it works at all. Come on, brain, we learnt about Occam's Razor in year twelve. Simplest explanation: they like the thing you did.

My brain: But that doesn't feel right.

Yeah, no shit it doesn't, because you're fucking anxious! But that doesn't mean everyone up-to-and-including people who are actively nice to you hates you! It just means you don't work properly, brain!

Typing this out has actually made me feel better than just having the argument on repeat in my head though so yay, thanks tumblr ;)

#personal #anxiety #shit's wild yo #i even get this on like comments on fic?#which like /my dude/. stop.#bc i'm super happy and excited to see fic comments and it's so cool that people like it enough to say something #and then out of nowhere: *doubt*#and like seriously brain? people don't leave comments saying something they don't mean #and also it's kind of crappy of you to think that these wonderful people are secretly that sort of duplicitous?#ughhh #(although ofc my brain frames it as 'it's understandable that they don't like you and they're being nice by pretending they do)#anyway #sorry for the emotional dump there but it has helped me take my brain to task so thanks <3

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pickled-paintbrush · 3 months

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I cleared out this bottom cubby shelf under my bookcase and have spent the past month or so crafting a little den for Clementine...looks like she's a fan!

#my art #i mean. basically lol #i got like the world's ugliest angles of the finished product LMAO but there's not a lot of space to take pictures in there #also yeahhhhhh so i intentionally made the panels smaller than my measurements #to ensure that they'd fit #but apparently i Way undermeasured on the height cause i was not expecting such a large gap at the bottom #i might put something there eventually but just...pretend u don't see it for now LSDKFNVJDKNJDF #also those socks were full of holes so i didn't wear them anymore #but they seemed like a good choice for those little bumpers at the edge #bc they have little cats on them!#sorry KDSJNFVJD i'm not posting this to deviantart so all my rambling is going in these tags #i know it looks sloppy but i'm really excited about it!#i am hoping she will scratch at the felt #it's hard to find this girl scratchers she'll use LOL but i thought she might like felt #and things just kinda came together from there #anyway! i love my cat and i hope she is happy with her new space

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ryoukio · 1 year

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Art piece for @super-secret-conspiracy 's Secret Santa

My person was @glassmoonfortuneteller !

The lads out for a night on the town! Bakura’s social battery has run out. I hope you like it :)

Also under the cut is a little sketch of them with a snowman.

#fanart #ygo #yugioh #secret santa #conspireshipping #Also sorry if the lighting’s wacky in the last one #it is very late and I have this post queued bc I’m going to be busy on the actual day :(#Anyways happy holidays #Seasons greasons n all that #(Splashes you with a hose bc it’s is Hot here)#I’m not doing character tags bc I’m lazy #Ignore that I'm editing this to tag the event creator lmao #Just pretend like I never forgot to do it in the first place #Ryoukios art

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